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The Most Uncomfortable Moments When A Family Member Has Said Something Inappropriate or Inconsiderate: 50 Stories Shared By Our Community
To have a loving and caring family is a great blessing. However, even the most amazing home can have flaws that might be hurting.
Having blood ties doesn't mean that one is the same or similar to another. In some cases, a friend might be a closer person than the rest of the family. It all comes to the values and the way one thinks. With that in mind, I asked our pandas about a time when they felt uncomfortable because of something their family member said. Sadly or not, a lot of people had something to share. Scroll down to read the answers!
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I wouldn't necessarily call it "uncomfortable" but here goes: It was at my father's 85th birthday party and his likewise elderly sister/my aunt -who I had not seen in many years- tells me, "I'm surprised you're not in jail". I didn't skip a beat. "I'm surprised you're not dead". She avoided me the rest of the day...
It was more of a smaller gathering (bc of covid).
One of my family members told me I would never make it to heaven if I kept being gay. Me, being the idiot I am, stood up and yelled, "Praise Satan, then" and stormed off.
Everyone went SILENT
I hadn't seen my brother for at least 15+ years due to his travel and spending time in Europe. He had returned to the states and lived a couple hours away but still no real contact. Then, mom got sick. So, I drove up to get him and then up to my mom's. Now, I had gone from being 15 to 30+ since I last saw him and I had pursued a career in which I needed to be in good shape, so I worked out a lot. Once mom got home from the hospital, we all got together and it was then that he announced to everyone that he thought I looked like Arnold Schwartzenegger in drag. My mom popped up and commented, 'yeah, and she rides a motorcycle, too'. He just glared at me and that was when I told him that I also rolled my own tampons and kickstarted my vibrator. I thought mom was going to pop her stitches and my dad, a very quiet man, choked on his tea. My brother never said another word about me.
I was told I needed to get tips on doing my makeup. I was at my husband's funeral.
Years ago I was starting to get gray hair. My youngest brother was going prematurely bald. At one family gathering he made some comment about my gray hair. I replied "Better gray than gone!" He looked stunned and everyone else laughed. He never commented again about my hair.
You can always die your hair. You'll need a sharpie to remediate a bald spot.
My mom wanted me to take a succulent cutting from the garden of the airbnb where I was staying. I said no. She kept at at it. I said I'd ask the host. My mom said "what? why?? no!!!" and "I didn't raise you to ask permission!" I was slightly shocked and then thought for a second... it's true. She didn't, but somehow I know the difference between right and wrong anyway. Luckily, I don't do what my mom tells me to do.
Thanksgiving. I was ten. First Thanksgiving with my step family. Walked into the kitchen to hear my dad say that my stepsister was the perfect child but I was a total disappointment. I started crying. He slapped me and said “what did you expect me to do, lie?” Everyone went off and started dinner as if nothing had happened. I was left standing by myself. I hate Thanksgiving. And my father.
Saw my great uncle for the first time in years, first thing he says to me is "wow, you've grown! In many ways..." * Looks at my chest*.
Wtf Uncle Jeff, not cool bro
My grandmother: "Nice boys don't like fat girls, Mija," and then she got upset when I wouldn't eat the huge plate of food she served me. I was 9 or 10.
When I was 17, we were preparing to have a regular dinner, with my grandma coming over as an extra guest.
The table was set, main course needed more time to finish cooking, and I was in the living room watching Cartoon Network as it didn't require a lot of attention and besides I like cartoons of all kind.
My grandma arrived and passed through the living room where she saw me watching tv. She stittered, loooed at me shocked and said " You
..still watch kid stuff?". I didn't bother explaining that lots of cartoons nowadays have subtle queues to relate for a mature audience as well, so I just replied "Uh, yeah, what of it?".
Later during dinner, my grandma would address my father with a concerned face and would say " You should take your son to see a psychiatrist." ( my father froze mid-sip and gazed at her questioningly ) " I caught him watching children's stuff on TV. This isn't right I believe he might be memtally undeveloped. I still want to have great-grandchildren!".
I was right next to her, contemplating how not to explode right there and then.
35 years old now. With a 9 month old baby boy, engaged. Still watching Avatar, Family Guy and whatever the hell I want, probably will watch cartoons till I die.
It was my very first art exhibition and I invited all of my family.. at the end of the show we all gathered outside to chat and in front of everyone, my dad walked up to me and handed me 5$ saying: here, have an allowance, because no one will buy these paintings!
My ex-MIL referring to the local shop owner who was an Asian man: "We don't like those sort of people here". This was on Walney Island, Barrow in Furness, Cumbria. Said ex-MIL was also probably one of the most boring people in existence in addition to being racist, having no interests, never read any books, just trashy magazines, never watched any films or listened to music, knew nothing about history or current affairs but full of negative opinions about others, while claiming to be a Christian and having the audacity to tell me I'll go to hell. The shop owner, btw, was always pleasant, friendly, helpful and courteous.
sounds like the shop owner would have been a better person to have as a relative than that b***
My grandmas raised me saying things like "No man will ever love you if you don't..." (have long hair, dress like a lady, learn how to cook...). It hurt me a lot but especially subconsciously. I really grew up believing that the idea of me dating was ridiculous.
I was raised by my grandmother. She used to say that no one with a working brain will ever love me because I was so "rebellious". So when I got a partner, she always says what a blessing it is, him not being intelligent enough to realize the fact of me being the mess I am, and I should thank all heavens for him being "dumb enough to be with you".
I'm very very grateful for him being the amazing and loving partner he is, but I keep hearing my grandmother's voice inside my thoughts. Also she passed away like 20 or so years ago. I never went to the graveyard.
"If you don't want kids you just haven't found the right guy yet!" My boyfriend was right by my side
Wow! You got fat! - my aunt on the day of my dad's funeral.
Every time I see my family, a few people comment on how I “need to eat more” or “you are too skinny”. I absolutely hate when people say that because I am very insecure about my body. (Also first post lol)
Uncle asked me why my sweater was dirty. Said I should have dressed nicer. We had no way to wash clothes, had no food a lot of the time, and no new clothes. Everything was hand me downs. Parents spent clothing allotments from welfare on themselves. Rest of the family cared so little and/or were so oblivious to their black sheep son and his wife's children ... when we went into foster care, none of them, all well off, would take us in. Another uncle called us insects.
I'm sorry...I hope you and your siblings are all doing better now.
When I was six I had drawn a picture for my Auntie and when I gave it to her she said, "uh... ah..no." then threw it in the bin in front of me.
You could never pass as a boy, darling.
Said by my mother to young trans me still trying to figure things out. Jokes on her I get "misgendered" every single day by people who don't even know me so I'm obviously doing something right.
When I was thirteen, my mother scolded me (in front of a table full of people) for “flirting” with an adult male. I was mortified, especially as I had just laughed at one of the man’s jokes.
Unfortunately she might have noticed the man flirting with you which you didn't notice yourself at only 13?
Not at a family gathering, but I once had overheard my parents complaining about me and wishing that I was never born. It hurt a lot, and because I wasn’t supposed to hear their conversation I have to pretend to be oblivious and still act like I care for them.
IDK how old you are, but when you get out from under your parents' roof, remember you do not owe them anything. And there are lots of places where you can find support from others who come from abusiva and neglectful home. You are not alone. Your life matters. You matter.
I hadn't seen my dad in a couple of years, due to distance. I went to my little brother's wedding. The very first thing dad said to me, loud enough for everyone to hear, was, "WOW! You got fat!" Of course, everyone had to turn around to see whom he was talking to.
First thing it if my dads mouth every time he sees me is about my weight. So frustrating!
At a family reunion on my mother's side, my father was repeatedly asked why I (younger daughter) didn't have any children, after all, my sister (3 years older) was already married and has two wonderful children. He got so annoyed about it that he announced that I was a lesbian. The family avoided me for the rest of the meeting.
I don't understand why people just don't leave childless people alone!
Had an in-law try to pick a physical fight with me at a funeral because I removed him from Facebook.
TLDR version: I was told by my stepmother that I ruined our family Christmas, simply by being there.
Long version: I had a... troubled childhood, to say the least, too much to really go into, and honestly, I've blocked lots of it out and don't remember many details. I was extremely depressed, suicidal at times, and was violently acting out. My stepmother was the target of a lot of my distress, even though she wasn't necessarily the cause of it. My dad, and her, I guess, tried to help me as best as they could, but it got to the point where they didn't know what else to do, and sent me to a therapeutic boarding school. Part of the school's program involved home visits at specified times, and mine happened to line up with Christmas. When I got home, my stepmother was saying things along the lines of "it was so calm and quiet when you were gone, I was actually happy." I was trying to let things go, not make trouble, and repair the damage I'd done. Christmas morning, when we were all gathered around the tree, she looked me dead in the eyes and said "I hate that you're here. Just... you being here has ruined Christmas."
I don’t like that word, but she was, and probably still is. Way to undo all the good done at the therapeutic boarding school you’re paying for, b***h. Bet Dad didn’t even stand up for his own child either, so add betrayal on top of it. Hope the OP is happy and healthy now, and has cut all toxic people out of their life for good. You’re not a victim, OP. You’re a warrior and a survivor of the wars, and are strong and mighty because of it.
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Hello downvotes, but it sounds like she could've done with some therapy herself, especially given (in your own words) "she wasn't the cause [of the distress you acted out]". And you acknowledge that she tried her best. It's a cruel and unnecessary thing to say to a child; it just sounds like she needed help too.
No downvote from me. What she said was horrible, but yeah, it reminded me of the thread where parents tried their best, but openly admitted they were totally exhausted and at their wits end, especially with a child acting out violently as described here. That can eventually become too much to handle despite best intentions.
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A lot of you are not using reading comprehension or empathy here. This "b***h" had been the target of this kid's wrath and misbehavior. "Tried to help me as best they could" NOW, still so inappropriate but I just don't see it as vile as could be for kids out there just existing.
I wish people would think of their children before getting married again! I'm sure there were signs that this woman was going to be a horrible step parent! If they can't love your children the way they are suppose to be loved then don't have a relationship with them! So much hurt and heartache all because the parent is being selfish!
Incredibly selfish. When my mother announced she was going to marry Stepfather 2, who was a complete abusive a*****e to all of us, I said "please don't." She started choke-sobbing about how she "didn't want to grow old alone" and we were so selfish for not being happy for her. In four years, he cheated on her, stole her money, filed fraudulent taxes in her name, tried to beat up my sibling, and took more than one swing at me. Spoiler: she grew old alone, but with the benefit of losing her kids, too. Hope it was worth it, Mom!
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What if the kid had abused her and she was indeed finally starting to feel happy again? OP might have been on the path to better himself, path of healing, but she still remembered the hurt. She was not yet on the path of healing. Victims are rarely happy to see their abusers.
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Jesus what a bitch. You should of told her that Christmas' we're nice before she came along. My stepmother hated it when my sibs and me came for holidays. Her kids had fun while we were mad to clean up after everyone else
Shes a F*****G B***H THAT HAS ISSUES FOR NOT HELPING SOMEBODY WITH A TROUBLED CHILDHOOD I WANNA PERSONALLY PUT HER IN HER GRAVE
They were a kid, clearly going through s**t. That step mother had ZERO reason to make things worse. This comment is in line with "you were wearing a short skirt, what do you expect?" Just because a CHILD was being a d**k, doesnt give you the right to be a d**k back.
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And now you know a big root of your trauma and acting out: dat betch! You were a kid, not your fault. Your primary caregivers failed you.
aside from this comment, how did they fail OP? OP themselves admits they were acting out violently, with their stepmother being on the receiving end for most of it despite having done nothing to incur that behaviour. OP literally said they did the best they could. they sent her to an expensive programme for their own benefit. sounds like pretty hands on, invested, concerned caregivers wanting the best for their charge. the comment was bang out of order, but possible to sympathise with considering the fact that parents are also humans and she was likely at the end of her tether having dealt with OPs violent wrath for no reason. it shouldn't have been said, but nobody is too good to look down at her for a human error the same way you're all bolstering and yas queening OP despite their past mistakes. so embarrassing. at least be consistent: either both are s**t for their mistakes, or both are human and forgivable
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Reply (with a big smile and a 'thumbs up' gesture): 'My mission is accomplished!'.
that was done a long time ago, seeing as OP was violent towards her without reason and she still did the best she could to care for OP
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Some stepparents have no boundries to their hate for their step children. As an adult she should have just sucked it up, shut up and make that christmas time a happy moment for all, no matter how she felt... you were already doing a lot of work by creating a better mental health. What that b*tch did put you back in all the hard work you did to get where you were in your head... I never wish something bad on anyone, but when people like this get a strike of bad luck, I will never shed a tear... she should have gonei nto therapy herself instead of taking things out on a kid. I sincerly hope you are in a much better place now and were able to let go of any feelings towards that timeframe when you weren't at your happyplace. Ive been in a situation where hate towards the person who hurt me the most, cost me 33 years of my llife. I never forgave what happened, but I stopped giving the negative feelings room in my life. Take care!
Maybe op had done that already, as op said she was often the target, but not the cause?
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Ohhh you're divorced, serves you right.
2 things, both said by in-laws. 1- at a restaurant to waitress, “that’s our last grandkid. No more bcuz we can’t afford them.” We’ve never asked them for anything for the kids. And made me want to get prego just to show her! 2- estate sale for great granny passing, diff ppl walking through the house to buy stuff. Lil old ladies coming through, saw 1 put a trinket in her purse w/o paying. I let it go, wasn’t worth it. A young black guy came in looking for angels for his mom. He was a hard working kid, I knew he was good and had a good heart. FIL followed him all around. FIL and MIL both said at diff times, “those are the ones you have to watch.” I was so disgusted! That’s when I saw their true selves. I stay away and keep my kids away from them as much as possible.
After I admitted I'd been raped, my Mother stated "You deserved everything that happened to you. You're no daughter of mine, you're disgusting really".
Needless to say, I no longer have a family.
Dammit! My heart breaks for anyone who has had a parent react like this to anything at all, but ESPECIALLY rape. What a sh*tty, cold-hearted response. They lost you because they didn't deserve you. I hope you find love, peace, and healing.
My grandmother when I was maybe 11:
"Oh you've gained weight again, and why are you still dressed like a boy"? After that she forced me to try on my great grandmother's moldy fur coat and asked me why I didn't like boys...
Ah family, great memories.
My mom wouldn't let me get rainbow Vans.
Me: Mom, can I have those Vans?
Her: The rainbow ones? Ew, no.
Me: Why not?
Her, speaking quietly: I don't want people to think you are gay.
Me: But there's nothing wrong with it!
Her: Yes there is, I will not let you get them.
Me: Fine. *rolls eyes*
Since she doesn't know the pride flags, I got some blue-purple-pink ones instead. I'm bi-ace. Lol.
After having had a car accident which left me crippled with back pain, I resumed swimming at 35. I started at my worst shape ever, my cardio was horrible and I was at pretty much double the weight my Dr would've liked me to be at.
At first, I couldn't 2 laps in a row without stopping to catch my breath and/or using my inhaler. After about 3 months, I could do 70 laps in a row, so I joined the local Triathlon club's swimming class to improve my technique.
Another 3 months later, I'm now swimming around 100-120 laps 3 times a week, and sharing at Christmas diner that my goal is to be able to swim a 3k race in a lake in an open water event the next summer.
My dad : yeah, but it's easy for you.
Me, looking at him quizzically
My dad, cracking up at his own joke : Well, just look at marine mammals!
So yeah, basically not dying, overcoming the trauma of the accident, transforming myself through sheer willpower into someone worthy of swimming alongside college students 15 years younger than myself DESPITE carrying the extra burden of my weight, that makes me a whale, manatee or beluga. And it's easy cause I "float".
Great. Thanks dad.
I looked away and spoke to my siblings the rest of the meal.
Kinda pisses me off that no one ever tells him off though. But whatever. People who see me swim call me a mermaid or a Valkyrie. I'm kind of both, and I love it.
"You are so pretty when you aren't heavy" - courtesy of my MIL, a few months after giving birth to her second grandchild from us in two years. (I gained about 35 pounds for the first and 2 pounds on top of that for the second). Meanwhile, her other son is a good 20 pounds underweight from switching to "healthier food intake". He was never overweight.
When I got the call that I have the job I wanted for years (after years of part time jobs and bad payment) I went to tell it my family their answer was “you’ll never know what might happen in the future so don’t be to happy about that”
Step-uncle-in-law gave me advice about giving birth
My Aunt had a habit every time she saw me, she’d say “showing a bit too much cleavage there honey!” She would then grab the neckline of whatever I was wearing at the time and trying to tug it up…………I mentioned it to mum and informed her from then on I planned to wear my most low cut shirts/dresses………She approved!
Great response! Your aunt's physical behaviour also makes one wonder whether SHE wasn't enjoying the cleavage a bit too much herself...
“Are you gay or just dumb” -Grandma 2020
My 71yo Aunt's husband who looked at my 21yo nigerian girlfriend saying that her skin color give him so much butterfly "down there"... My aunt was present so has my GF's mom...
Thirty years ago, my aunt (dad's sister) took me out to dinner to make sure I knew that the reason I was raped during a home intrusion a year earlier was because my mom was a whore when she was my age (she wasn't a virgin when she married my dad so... whore). "Sins of the father" type of bullshit.
She had only just found out about the assault because my dad made me keep it a secret from that side of the family or she would've informed me when it happened, I'm sure.
Cherry on top was becoming the "bad guy" in the family because I refused to be anywhere she was - I was supposed to put my feelings aside so as not to disrupt the family.
"Stop crying all the time." My grandma told me the day afther my mom killed herself. I was nine years old.
Someone at a wedding came up next to me and literally slapped my leg, remarking "that's for having tattoos!". If it had been a stranger I think I'd have punched them.
10 years of my life: elderly parents got sick, quit my job, moved in to take care them. Mom died in 6, Dad 4 years later. My older bro and younger sis did not visit, rarely called. After the reading of the will, brother said, “Your free ride is over. Get out. We’re (sister & him) selling the house.” I did corner bro at Dad’s funeral and said: “Your daughter saw how treated your parents. She will do the same to you.” Rest of the family hasn’t spoken to me since. Good riddance.
Cousin told me at Christmas time 2016 that I wasn't liked by anyone in the family because of my severe anger issues and autism. I know it wasn't true and he was just annoyed at me for being sad that my other cousins got camcorders and gopros and stuff and I got cheap dresses, but it still made me uncomfortable and angry
Yeah, my sister pulled that s**t. 'Nobody likes you. We all talk about it. Even momma and daddy.'
Oh you're here, we thought you would be staying home again
"Where's your "boyfriend"?" They used air quotes and everything! My reply was, "He's working." He always works weekends, still does and now he's my husband, I eventually had him take a Saturday off so they he could meet some of my more extended family.
I started pretending my husband was working so he didn't have to put up with my relatives. They do know he exists though.
My mothers uncle telling me that my boos are just the perfect size when I was only 14.
Not uncomfortable for me per say because I agreed and appreciated the sentiment, but definitely not the time lol. A little back story . My fiance' and I bought our first home and after it closed we took a trip to his family home state across the country. I had spoken to his grandparents regularly on the phone so they "knew" me but never met me in person. (they are in their 70's / 80's so no technology to video chat). It was my Fiance, me, his brother, his wife, and father all going. Brother J and his wife are a bit famous in the family because wifey is a gold digger and lazy. She never works, and when she does doesn't hold a job for more than a month or so. Spends all his money and when he was deployed there were other questions in the family about her faithfulness, anyhow... Grandpa is in his late 70's and is an old Puerto Rican New Yorker, he gives ZERO f***s about couth. (one thing I adore about him actually) Once we physically met we were instant pals and I adore this man immensely. We all went out for supper the first night and everyone was chatting and catching up. Out of nowhere gramps turns to Wifey and says "So you got a job yet?" She said laughing "No grandpa I'm a stay at home mom" "Why???" He boomed. "Kids have school no? What you need to stay home for now? They aren't in diapers." He looked at me. I thought oh s**t, my turn. "What about you? You still working?" "Yes Grandpa I am." "Still doing 35 hour of overtime a week?" "Yes Grandpa" "Ohhh so you don't live off my Grandson huh? That's good, that's good. How long do you have now at you job?" (15 years grandpa... almost 16." (Turning to her) "Huh so you retire in a few years then? Weird, see (Wife) it's not that hard." I about fell over laughing but held it together. Although awkward, it was nice to know I am not on that man's bad side. I'd like to feel bad for (Wife) but I can't I wasn't raised to take advantage of people and it didn't even bother her. When we got home she had a job handed to her on a silver platter. Work from home, great benefits and great money courtesy of my fiance. She quit just over a month later.
I could take up this whole thread with my mother-in-law but one time she asked my husband what my bra size is.
Made lots of jokes about mental disorders, and a good deal of homophobic comments.
People of color and people who don't speak English in my extended family. and my mom used to wonder why I never wanted to go for Thanksgiving. She no longer wonders
There's just always that one relative or a family member who has a lot of obnoxious stuff to say, nobody likes to hear it, but still has to. It seems like a magical ability to just share things that nobody wants to hear.
One relative of mine just talks non-stop about her ailments, it's depressing. The other just had some really unpleasant opinions.
I have two cousins my age ca 40 who both are mentally disabled whom I love dearly but while one of them is so funny and outgoing, the other one is not and talks about weird stuff like the colour on rocks or something extremely boring and the one outgoing who is more disabled, doesn't have the patience to talk to the other and afterwards she is worned out of her mind. But they are so sweet and precious and I'm blessed to have grown up with them🥰❤❤❤❤
Me (age 23 F at the time) saw my maternal Grandfather who I hadn’t seen since I’d been on chemo and steroids, which obviously changed my appearance somewhat, specifically made my face very swollen and lost a lot of my hair.
We didn’t see him often (his choice)… his first words, “Huh, you certainly look different now you’re older, I wouldn’t even have recognised you - didn’t you used to be a model? Shame.”
Yep, cheers dude.
I was at a family Thanksgiving,it was warm, we live in the south of the u.s. I was the new stepmom to a beautiful,and awesome, intelligent and incredible nine year old,who is now all of those things in a 40+ year old woman. She, being a kid, accidentally knocked out the screen to the sliding door, because she ran through it not seeing it was in place. My MIL lost it and screamed " *stepdaughter*, you are stupid and a loser and you always will be, just like your fat loser mother!!!" Death silence. Kid crying. I took her by the hand, announced we were leaving and anyone who wanted to be in the car better be ready in fifteen minutes. My husband was there. After he had a few words with his mom. My stepdaughter called me mom from then on. ( She calls her mother mommy. And ftr, her mom is very cool.)
Kudos to you on so many levels - standing up for the child, loving & supporting her well into adulthood, giving her mommy props and support. If only the rest of the world would follow such values...
MIL-to-be said I was "ruining her son's life" by not having children. I was always open with him about my intentions.
When I said that if I did have a child, I would adopt because so many children need homes, she said "not healthy white babies."
FYI, my family has a ton of mental illness and breast cancer; both his parents and 3/4 grandparents were alcoholics. What kind of an a- hole would I be to pass those genes on?
BTW, she was a Republican. Once again, "caring" about fetuses but not children.
We were staying at this inn for my sister in-law's wedding, and I had a horrible UTI. My husband inadvertently mentioned this to his mother, and when I came down for breakfast the next morning she said "Hey how's your crotch" in front of everyone. Aunts, uncles, EVERYONE. I was mortified. His family is very wealthy too; just goes to show you can't buy manners.
My mum’s father at my brother’s 18th Birthday. “Your mother should have never married your father, biggest mistake of her life, she had so much potential, she could have done anything!”
They’ve been happily married for 40 years and if they hadn’t married, neither I nor my brother would exist, so…
My aunt from my step-side of the family was going on about “providing the first male grandchild” — my brother was standing right next to her and grandma.
This wasn't at a family gathering, but my dad says a lot of rude things. He's nice but he gets really passive aggressive towards anything he even vaguely disagrees with.
This one time I was having my friends over soon and was reminding my parents to use the right pronouns for my non-binary friend. My dad then said, in the most FREAKING CONDESCENDING TONE, "oH, sO tHeY'rE mUlTiPlE pEoPlE aRe ThEy?"
Same person who got very passive aggressive when I got out of a crowded place after having a panic attack due to the noise and went to put my earbuds in to listen to music. "are you SURE you want to put noise in your ears if you were SO WORRIED about loud noises?"
I was even brave enough to come out to him as lesbian, and he still asks me if I'm 'interested in any boys atm' and refers to my 'future boyfriend' despite being fully aware I don't like guys.
He's usually nice but it makes it really hard to love him when he acts like anyone with a different opinion to him is 1/2 a year old and needs to have it spelt out for them.
You know how crusty old men tell young women to "smile" when we don't appear insanely happy at all times? WELL...
A few years ago I got told to "smile"... by my own cousin... at our grandmother's funeral... Just me... not my older brother who was standing beside me, just me... I was on vlthe verge of tears of course and just wanted to slap him!
I really HATE when people do that!!! A couple of years ago, I stopped to get gas. A random man told me that I'd be prettier if I smiled. I replied, in a very cold voice, "I'm on my way to my husband's funeral." (I really was.) The guy had the decency to look ashamed and apologize.
"Way you said that you are burn out and depressed because of your job? You are sitting in the office whole day! Your grand grand father worked in a coalmine since his was 16 and wasn’t depressed single day of his life! Your grandfather run the still mill and wasn’t depressed to. Depression is a modern word for the lazy and weak people". And the same evening: "Anyway, you are already passed the age to have children (I am male 35 years old). You will be too old and weak to support them through college and no child should have an old boring parent to whom he has to look after in his prime age."
Not my family but my "Uncle in law". We were at the christmas dinner and their parties are really long. I am a migrant and then I still struggled to understand them when they all speak at the same time in the parties and it was very tiring for me. I was five hours speaking and listening to flemish when I forgot how to say a word. My UIL got really upset and gave me a very angry speech about how "This is Flanders and you must speak Flemish" and kept rambling about "immigrants not integrating". Like I said not only I had been 5 hours in a flemish speaking room but also at the time I was going 4 days a week to language classes. But yeah, migrants don't want to integrate... Nobody in the table except my partner defended me. Probably because deep inside they are as xenophobic as him.
Xenophobia is such an ugly thing, and many flemish people seem to be secretly suffering from it. I feel bad for you, but please don't let it get to you, as it is just their own petty little narrow mind not being able to expand beyond their own little lives. All the loss is on them, you are much stronger than they will ever be.
Step-uncle-in-law told me if I had a C-section I would never be "skinny" again. Who are you?!
When they always talk about how skinny I am at family gathering, where in fact I'm quite normal (BMI 23, body fat 18%). I didn't hate my current look anyway... In Indonesia, some people believe that overweight person looks like a rich man, and those who have less fat looks like a beggar.
Overheard SIL say I got really fat. I am disabled and chronically ill, what's you excuse?
My aunt told me that I should “stop being bisexual” and that it was wrong of me to be bi…On the day my grandma died
My mother's Aunt Jean was a woman who couldn't keep her opinions to herself, and rarely stopped talking. We don't have family reunions regularly, so the first one after Aunt Jean died was the first chance Uncle Harry, her husband, had had in years to speak without Aunt Jean interrupting him. He was chatting up a storm with far-flung relatives when my mother and I arrived and carried our food over to add to the lunch choices. Mom whispered to me, "The man talking without taking a breath is my Uncle Harry. He hasn't seen you since you were a toddler." I nodded, unsure what to do with that information.
Mom walked over and greeted Uncle Harry with a kiss on the cheek. His eyes lit up and he focused his unending rush of words on her. When I walked over to join mom, she told him who I was and I just smiled, unsure what to say to him. I certainly didn't remember him from my toddler days.
Uncle Harry turned his attention to me, gave me a quick once-over and smiled big. "The last time I saw you, you were still in training pants!" I nodded and smiled. "You sure got fat!"
...thanks, Uncle Harry. It became clear that during the decades of Aunt Jean shushing and over-talking him, he'd forgotten about basic manners, discretion, and tact. Harry died a few years later, long before the next reunion.
My step-grandfather hugged me (16 at the time), kissed my neck and then said "Mmm...so tender". I've never wanted to disappear so badly before.
We were invited to an aunt's sister's wedding.
The aunt in question is my dad's brother's wife and she's a real nasty woman. Got into fights with almost all the members of the family but since they stay at my grandma's we still used to talk.
Anyway she's always been jealous of the fact that my mum is a working lady and that since my dad's skin is fairer than my uncle, I turned fairer than her daughter. (I'm the eldest grand-daughter). My mum's skin is darker and my brother's too.
So at that wedding she was sitting with everyone and decided to say that there was another proposal for my dad before his wedding to my mum. And she chose to emphasize that said lady was also fair right in front of my mum and me and everyone else. As if this wasn't enough she told me, "Imagine if your dad married her, you'd be even fairer, like a foreigner."
My blood boiled then and there but mum said not to say anything. Thankfully i didn't have to, another auntie said that there's no need, I amalreadyfairer than her daughter and better looking alredy, anymore and they'd have to hire body guards. "Maybe we should have married 'my uncle' with her. then maybe your daughter would look same as 'me'."
My evil aunt got offended and left to see her sister. No need to say we never went to another wedding on her side of the family after.
She's current not on speaking terms with anyone in the family.
My brother launched into a diatribe about how my relationships from 16 to 25 were basically sex for money. Not even going to offer up my stance.
At funeral for grandfather:
super religious (Irish Catholic) Aunt to my then girlfriend (now wife of almost 15 years): "so what religion are you"
Wife: "my family is evangelical free"
SRA: "oh, well, you know you are still going to hell, right?"
Partners father, at a family meal, said he thought Hitler had some good ideas… that was just one comment which seems to sum him up for me.
My aunt couldn't stop telling how special it was that - now her daughter was pregnant - they could spend their days doing precious mother/daughter-stuff. I lost my mother when I was 10. I never had a mother/daughter-thing, and will never get them either. But I didn't dare to say how much those words were hurting me.
"It is so much nicer when you are not here, please don't come home for the summer." Just before summer break in college. Twice, once a day before the dorms closed. The other, hours before we were evicted. Her actions, followed by my family denying it, even in the midst of her publicly humiliating me, have given me PTSD. At two she told me my birth ruined her life, I knew nobody would believe me and she would deny it at 2. They believe her lies -- without question. Most recently she gave me 6 months to leave her apartment. My PTSD was intensified due to a horrible rape. She owned the apt I lived in. Where did she think I would live? My father came to my rescue. She denies anything happened and says it was a good financial move for my father. He never corrects her. Her new husband went through my apartment and took what he wanted. Everything was dumped on the floor. It was impossible to get past the entry three weeks before the moving trucks arrived. There was a class in self harm and suicide prevention. After at least one hospitalization a year for 9 years, she made sure I couldn't attend. I developed serious physical health problems, she insisted I switch doctors from the best in Boston to local doctors. When I moved out of Boston, she couldn't understand why I refused to talk to her. Within six months, all the serious problems went away or. drastically improved. I always believed the entire family didn't want me to return, recently I discoved it was just her. Mothers have the power to destroy lives and she knows it.
Mothers DO have that power. Unfortunately. Some people shouldn't have children,
"you shouldn't have cut your hair so short. people might think you're gay."
WAIT PEOPLE MIGHT THINK IM GAY IF I HAVE SHORT HAIR?! hold on, lemme shave it all off, NANA, cause maybe i wanna look gay!
(we're on fine terms, i still love her, but she doesn't know im non binary so... awkward)
Helping senile family move. Wrapping an ancient candy with great care. "I guess you are going to steal that too", popped out of her distant memory bank. I said nothing. What good would it have done.
Also should have typed "family member". My brain is obviously not awake.
Not family, but when I was about 50, my Father told a group of people (at church, in front of me) he was glad he put me on birth control as a teenager so I wouldn't get pregnant. I was on hormones but it was due to a problem regulating my cycle and he had NOTHING to do with it.
Someone asked "How is your sister?" when I haven't seen her or heard from her since she left her child with me and my mom and my niece was standing right next to me!
My great Aunt told me one Christmas,as I got a beer, that "only whores drank from the bottle in her day.
Biological father on his deathbed, the first time I saw him since my parent divorced when I was 4 years old.
“your mother was a cheapskate, she didn't share me the money from the house sale”
That's it, the only thing he said to his only daughter after 22 years, before his death.
I asked ny grandma permission to went home and she said “yes my darling, you're free to do anything you want, and this is your last duty as his daughter, you don't have to come again” she knew how hard it was and hugged me, and we cry together (she was awesome, miss her much)
_____
FYI my mother bought the house with her own money and raised 3 children on her own.
“Hey Sis! Is the reason your gay because Mom dropped you on your head as a baby?”
"No, sis! She dropped YOU on your head, not me! That's why you're so stupid!"
Years ago and it was to my ex and not me. We were young and expecting our son. We were at a large family function and I had left her alone for a bit, probably off to say hello to someone. Came back and several middle aged+ biddies had surrounded her and were telling her horror stories of births gone wrong which was plainly freaking her out. I came over sat beside her, smiled at them and told them they could all just f**k right off. Think I even got a "well I never" or two :)
My great aunt, no joke, asked me when I was going stop being "childish" and act "properly". I was ten.
“Bats will intentionally fly into your hair to give you rabies” said my sister in law. I was astonished at the depth of ignorance.
This woman is now a national celebrity (no longer my SIL.)
I (F) was 13 yrs old at the time, and my dad asked me at a family gathering if I realized my face was broken out...
Dude, that is not ok. My family will do that, (I'm 13) and it is horrible for self-esteem
I was sitting next to my sister at my grandfather’s funeral when we heard our semi-senile great aunt talking about us from behind. She said, “Those girls sure have fat necks.”
My grandmother told me I had a short neck and no ass. I became instantly aware that she was right! As self-conscious as I was I had never noticed before. I know she wasn't trying to be cruel. She quickly pointed out that she too was short-necked and ass-less. That was 30 years ago and it's funny to me now. She died last year and I would give anything to hear another one of her 'helpful' comments.
About 25 years ago, my favorite aunt, whom I adored as a child, said, "You know, I couldn't stand you when you were a kid. But I kind of like you now. I understand you now. Do you like yourself?" She was drunk. After that, whenever she would see me, she'd have to tell me how much she hated me as a kid. I was devastated. To me, this woman hung the moon. It's still hurtful. Since I lived 750 miles away from my family, I didn't see my mother often; therefore, I didn't see my aunt, either. I would go only as a favor to my mother. Eventually, I stopped doing that. I had no desire to see someone that felt the need to say hurtful things to me to make herself feel better. I don't understand what motivates people to be so cruel.
That's horrible. I'm sorry that someone so important to you felt like that.
(note that pretty much everybody is drunk except me, my mom, and my dad)
So it’s a casual dinner with 27 people. Everyone is drinking, then someone drives a car into the wall. Who is it you ask? It’s my cousin Lexus, who appears to be unconscious at the wheel. My uncle is asking me (a girlflux) “wHerE is YOur HusBaND” IM SIX GET IT TOGETHER BOB!
He also kept referring to me as Barack Obama. He died because of his drinking problem.
Sister’s 21st. I don’t get on with my parents cos they hate my wife. Brother tells my wife it’s her fault, so I break his jaw after he refused to apologise. Now none of the family understand why I don’t talk to any of them!
So she's done absolutely nothing at all to warrant the ire of at least 3 people? My uncle used to give us the freeze over his wife too, until she beat his ass with a baseball bat...while he was in bed asleep. Not saying your wife is that mean, or even guilty of anything, but why does your family dislike her?
I was at Christmas dinner and my grandpa said "That's a lot of food, are you sure you can eat all that" then I proceeded to leave the table and go to my room and cry.
...he was obviously worried about you overeating he doesn't want you to get a stomach ache??
After my Dad's funeral, my mother in law comes up to me, points to my father in law and says, "he's your Dad now". I was so dumbfounded by her comment and it still baffles me.
not at a gathering.. but my stepdad told me he almost grabed my ass because allegedly i look like my mom from behind... and we would wear similar pants.. that's some what rigt because we both wear jeans but she is 13cm/5 inc smaller then i am.. soo yeah
At my wedding reception, greeting two cousins I had met a total of four times in my life; “Oh, so you finally got around bothering to speak to us then.” (I got on with my Aunt but don’t know why they even came.)
And how long will it be before you make that mistake of speaking with them again?
At my cousin’s wedding my grandma motioned to the very pregnant bride and whispered to me, “I thought you’d be my first grandchild that ‘had’ to get married.” I think I was 12 or so.
Many years later at my first wedding, I was 7 months pregnant. Grandma came thru the line, hugged me and again whispered to me, “I knew you’d get married pregnant.” The woman was awesome :D
Grandma died so grandpa remarried. The first thing she said when she met me was, "I thought you'd be skinner!"
My brother and his wife came to visit us in our new home. SIL says it will look nice once you’ve had a chance to paint. The house was purchased freshly painted. I have no intention of painting over the fresh paint. Guess she didn’t like my house. Jokes on her because no one in the family likes her, but we are polite and won’t tell her that.
My Mom called me a pervert for being Omnisexual. Also I came out to her as Ace before that so :]
My preschool cousin telling me, in front of everyone, that I should marry her older sisters (also my cousins, also two of them).
You're going to bitch at a preschool kid for not understanding marriage??
A conversation at Thanksgiving one year
"so like polygamy"
me: "No grandma, polyamory. I'm dating him and her."
grandma: "oh" ... "..." ... "her too?"
me: "yes, her too."
grandma: "ok"
I have a lot of Mormon (all monogamous) relatives, so she probably thought I was wading deeper into that pool.
nothing incredibly "terrible" so to say, but it still was very uncomfortable for me when i was a child....
My dad is atom physicist in a research institute... Everyone in my family, even friends and acquaintances kept on saying how much i look like my mother and how my dad for sure must have "experimented on clones" or something like that...
How i could be a clone of my mother because i just look exactly like her. To me, it was hurtful because
1. i have an other eye color and nose shape - people seemed to not notice, i thought people didn't see properly or their observation skills were just really bad...
2. i felt like my dad (who did at least half of the NATURAL creation work) was left out, felt uncomfortable too ...but since i am the only girl in the family they never had someone of the same gender of that part of the family (besides my grandmother) to compare me with.
3. i do not like to be a "copy" of someone (i just rather preferred to be compared to my dad, because, i guess intelligence is more important than looks to me)
4. being exactly like someone who you are having constantly arguments and disputes with is not a nice comparison.
5. it wasn't an unique comment, i kept on hearing it every time i met some family friends or family members
But looking back I think they were all just trying to be nice and
if someone tells me now how much i look like my mother, i take it as a compliment, because she is 56 years old and still look super young and beautiful and i hope i take after her genetically speaking. - i still value education more than looks tho and i see how sad my mother is to see how her beauty is slowly fading.
On point number 4, it is often the case that you clash with those you are most similar to, especially if you're both stubborn.
I visited my uncle, after having not seen him in a couple years. A bunch of family was over, and I walked in the door, excited to see everyone. Before I could start to give Uncle a hug, he hit me with this furious look and demanded, "Are you actually going to vote for that f*****g b***h?" He then proceeded to throw every possible pearl-clutching FOX News propaganda at me. He didn't even say hi, how are you, how was the drive, do you want something to drink, nothing. Just shouting about how much he hated Hillary and "feminazis." It broke my heart that someone who I'd known and loved for 45 years now only saw me as a "librul" and his enemy. That was the beginning of me cutting off my entire family of Trump worshipping religious nutjobs and racist , -phobic assholes.
I'm sorry you lost your family to a cult, that s**t is terrible
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Given my dad's family, too many to choose, so I'll go with hubby. Annoyed by his family quesitoning yet again when we'd have kids when they knew I'd been told I can' have 'em... and having had a shot of hard lqiuor.. Hubby stood up in an elegant marina-side restaurant and said far too loudly, "We're not having kids I GOT MY BALLS CUT". And that, folks, ended that. :-) (This is why Hubby doesn't do liquor. He's *very* honest.)
Your hubby is platinum . Tell him from me
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Can't think of anything nice but there must have been something other than "Judy you should be a model. Afterall they all look like boys these days". Tall skinny and flatchested. Love that aunt but not best at complenting
"wow you look really old" brother the day my dad died who I and my 3 other brothers had been caring for round the clock for 3 weeks and watched him die while that brother had been in Spain getting a tan. "your legs are so white they are blinding me" same brother the day of my dad's funeral. Both times in front of big groups of family. I no longer speak to that brother as he has never been able to be polite in front of people
I hope what many of us are able to take away from this is that there are so many damaged adults passing down their own hurt, trauma and frustrations onto others. It's them, it's not you. It's not about you.
I know that's true. My mom used to say, "sticks & stones will break my bones but words will never harm me." I'd rather poke my eyes out with a stick rather than have to live with those words from someone who supposedly cares about you.
Load More Replies... Meeting a distant relative at a family wedding, stood next to my Aunt who introduced me, conversation went on to talk about my mother. When the distant relative asked “which one Jean or Catherine”? My aunt went white as a sheet and that was the moment I found out I was adopted by my birth mothers aunt and was brought up to believe she was my cousin (for context I was 30 at the time)
Wow, so many nasty, nasty, hurtful, jealous people around. What is wrong with all these people treating others like crap.
My Wife got a Parship coupon and got told, to get a proper husband. We are married now, but still hurts.
My a*****e evangelical brother told my other brother that his son, who had just died by suicide, “lost his battle with Satan.” All from his cozy vineyard tour in Italy.
Ah, yes, there's no hate like Christian love! I hope your family's had comfort since then.
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My uncle passed from covid a year ago. He was my dad's only sibling/brother. Their mother is mentally gone in a nursing facility, so my dad was doing everything to plan the funeral/expenses/etc. I wasn't close with my uncle but knew it hurt my dad deeply with so much of his family gone. At the funeral, one of my dad's cousins came up, teary-eyed. He then proceeded to say "well, we had to put our dog down yesterday." It took all of my self-control not to snap at him to suck it up while my dad was burying his brother. Yes, I love my pets, but I would not be comparing grief at a freaking funeral. I was also feeling very protective of my dad that day as he was trying to keep it together. Plus, the funeral home dug up the wrong grave (my uncle was cremated to be buried with his late wife, they accidentally dug up their father's grave instead, whoops).
How did a random “Author” on BP necro-repost this 11-month-old post as if it were new?
As a cocktail teenager who felt he had the right to comment on women's bodies my brother noticed my Aunt's unshaven legs - loudly proclaimed how disgusting they were to tye entire family. Laughing she said "if you think that's bad you should see my m*nge". And this was the day his feminist education really kicked up a notch.
I struggled with infertility, anxiety, and an eating disorder for many years. My EX mother-in-law told me it was clear God didn’t want me to pass on my genes. Jokes on her—I have two gorgeous kids, an amazing husband (not her son), and a law degree. All after the age of 35.
My dad: Those gay people, can't they act normal? Me: I think I'm pretty normal, I love both men and women 😁 Dad: ohh
Saying goodbye to my grandmother (Momma) at the hospital my mum said: My god your bum has gotten big. That was not what I needed to hear at that heartbreaking moment. (But true because Momma collapsed while I was on my honeymoom, and probably ate a little bit to much. But still.) My grandmother was more of a mother to me for years and years when I had almost no contact with my real mum. (Just because the ordinary divorce and busy with the new family) I miss her almost everyday and pester our children whit anecdotes about things she used to say. It makes me feel more connected to her in day to day life and not only in my memories. ❤️ All my love to you if you read this and missing a loved one.
Sorry for your loss! And it sounds as if your mum was envious of the special connection you had with your grandma, so she just had to find something negative to say. Give yourself time to grieve and do pester your kids to your heart's content. 😉 (Also, I'll take this opportunity to say, I'm glad to read you as I haven't seen you around, and apologies in case I answered you weirdly a while back, my ability to read comments properly may have temporarily suffered, lol)
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my mother is a desperately religious piece of work, but one of my favorites was right after she outed me to the world and was trying to convince me that I was just confused. After maybe the hundredth conversation over a very exhausting weekend visit, she was explaining that women naturally have special bonds with other women because we can relate to each other in ways that we just can't with men. I was tired and went for the nuclear option, so I smiled and said, "I know, right? That's why the s3x is so incredible!" last time we talked about it :D
so much toxic POS family members, fortunately I disowned all the ones like this. Just do not speak, contact, email, phone, acknowledge, or even go into the same space-time locale with.
One Thanksgiving, I was breastfeeding my daughter, when my cousin’s husband very loudly commented, “Geeze! I haven’t seen another woman’s breast since I married your cousin!” :-/
Was at Christmas and I turned 18 that year, legal adult in my country. My Godparent aunt who I really looked up to said to me in front of my parents. 'Thank god you are finally 18. Now I don't have to give stupid presents for your Birthday anymore. Till this day she can't understand and frowns when I adress her by her name instead of aunty.
I thought that what I heart say about my parents and me by our family members was really nasty and bad but this was way worse 🤦
Family can be toxic as hell . Just because their blood doesn’t mean you have to put up with their b******t . Shut them down hard, cut them out of your life and live in peace .
I love my Mom but she never thinks before she speaks. We were Christmas shopping at the mall and were commenting on how busy it was when she said that it was a good thing that we didn't have any "kids" to buy for because the toy departments were crazy. This happened 7 months after the death of my infant son.
You've got a point there... But to say that all men think that certain kind of behaviour is okay, that's not fair to all those men who are just as disgusted by those perverts action as we are. I know for af fact that if ever someone would pull a stunt like that with me, my SO wouldn't even blink twice, that man would be down within a few seconds. Is it the correct way of handling things? I don't know, but I would not stop him.
Ooof. Reading these accounts makes me feel like I'm back home again. We can start with the entire family looking at my baby pics and laughing because I was so "ugly" (and such an obnoxious screaming baby). Then, one time as a teen I was changing clothes with my mother in the same room and she told me the unforgettable, "God, you have ugly boobs." Those are just the bookends of a very unhappy childhood and a lifetime of low self-esteem.
All these parents are awful and everyone one of you are invited to come over and bake cookies with me. Also to Thanksgiving and Christmas. I hope you all realize how wonderful and worthy you are.
Suddenly very grateful to have my bunch of blunt best friends who just happen to be my mother and sibling - we all genuinely see each other as friends first - my sister in law is my best friend in the world - I just wish my dad were still with us. But, yeah, I consider myself very lucky to have found myself in a family who love spending time together
Lucky aren't we? And I've only found out in the last few years how rare it is
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How do some people procreate? Are their personalities not disgusting enough?
At a family gathering, my husbands aunt asked one of his friends "what is it like being black?".... in a gathering full of white people, with my husbands friend being the only black guy there.
Not a family member but a neighbor at my grandmother's wake cornered several people to let them know her kids wouldn't support her. They didn't give her money and they had jobs. Her kids didn't live with her. Great wake people left quickly.
Thanks you, you are the partner your family needs, I wish there were so much more like you.
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Load More Replies... I visited my uncle, after having not seen him in a couple years. A bunch of family was over, and I walked in the door, excited to see everyone. Before I could start to give Uncle a hug, he hit me with this furious look and demanded, "Are you actually going to vote for that f*****g b***h?" He then proceeded to throw every possible pearl-clutching FOX News propaganda at me. He didn't even say hi, how are you, how was the drive, do you want something to drink, nothing. Just shouting about how much he hated Hillary and "feminazis." It broke my heart that someone who I'd known and loved for 45 years now only saw me as a "librul" and his enemy. That was the beginning of me cutting off my entire family of Trump worshipping religious nutjobs and racist , -phobic assholes.
I'm sorry you lost your family to a cult, that s**t is terrible
Load More Replies... Given my dad's family, too many to choose, so I'll go with hubby. Annoyed by his family quesitoning yet again when we'd have kids when they knew I'd been told I can' have 'em... and having had a shot of hard lqiuor.. Hubby stood up in an elegant marina-side restaurant and said far too loudly, "We're not having kids I GOT MY BALLS CUT". And that, folks, ended that. :-) (This is why Hubby doesn't do liquor. He's *very* honest.)
Your hubby is platinum . Tell him from me
Load More Replies... Can't think of anything nice but there must have been something other than "Judy you should be a model. Afterall they all look like boys these days". Tall skinny and flatchested. Love that aunt but not best at complenting
"wow you look really old" brother the day my dad died who I and my 3 other brothers had been caring for round the clock for 3 weeks and watched him die while that brother had been in Spain getting a tan. "your legs are so white they are blinding me" same brother the day of my dad's funeral. Both times in front of big groups of family. I no longer speak to that brother as he has never been able to be polite in front of people
I hope what many of us are able to take away from this is that there are so many damaged adults passing down their own hurt, trauma and frustrations onto others. It's them, it's not you. It's not about you.
I know that's true. My mom used to say, "sticks & stones will break my bones but words will never harm me." I'd rather poke my eyes out with a stick rather than have to live with those words from someone who supposedly cares about you.
Load More Replies... Meeting a distant relative at a family wedding, stood next to my Aunt who introduced me, conversation went on to talk about my mother. When the distant relative asked “which one Jean or Catherine”? My aunt went white as a sheet and that was the moment I found out I was adopted by my birth mothers aunt and was brought up to believe she was my cousin (for context I was 30 at the time)
Wow, so many nasty, nasty, hurtful, jealous people around. What is wrong with all these people treating others like crap.
My Wife got a Parship coupon and got told, to get a proper husband. We are married now, but still hurts.
My a*****e evangelical brother told my other brother that his son, who had just died by suicide, “lost his battle with Satan.” All from his cozy vineyard tour in Italy.
Ah, yes, there's no hate like Christian love! I hope your family's had comfort since then.
Load More Replies... My uncle passed from covid a year ago. He was my dad's only sibling/brother. Their mother is mentally gone in a nursing facility, so my dad was doing everything to plan the funeral/expenses/etc. I wasn't close with my uncle but knew it hurt my dad deeply with so much of his family gone. At the funeral, one of my dad's cousins came up, teary-eyed. He then proceeded to say "well, we had to put our dog down yesterday." It took all of my self-control not to snap at him to suck it up while my dad was burying his brother. Yes, I love my pets, but I would not be comparing grief at a freaking funeral. I was also feeling very protective of my dad that day as he was trying to keep it together. Plus, the funeral home dug up the wrong grave (my uncle was cremated to be buried with his late wife, they accidentally dug up their father's grave instead, whoops).
How did a random “Author” on BP necro-repost this 11-month-old post as if it were new?
As a cocktail teenager who felt he had the right to comment on women's bodies my brother noticed my Aunt's unshaven legs - loudly proclaimed how disgusting they were to tye entire family. Laughing she said "if you think that's bad you should see my m*nge". And this was the day his feminist education really kicked up a notch.
I struggled with infertility, anxiety, and an eating disorder for many years. My EX mother-in-law told me it was clear God didn’t want me to pass on my genes. Jokes on her—I have two gorgeous kids, an amazing husband (not her son), and a law degree. All after the age of 35.
My dad: Those gay people, can't they act normal? Me: I think I'm pretty normal, I love both men and women 😁 Dad: ohh
Saying goodbye to my grandmother (Momma) at the hospital my mum said: My god your bum has gotten big. That was not what I needed to hear at that heartbreaking moment. (But true because Momma collapsed while I was on my honeymoom, and probably ate a little bit to much. But still.) My grandmother was more of a mother to me for years and years when I had almost no contact with my real mum. (Just because the ordinary divorce and busy with the new family) I miss her almost everyday and pester our children whit anecdotes about things she used to say. It makes me feel more connected to her in day to day life and not only in my memories. ❤️ All my love to you if you read this and missing a loved one.
Sorry for your loss! And it sounds as if your mum was envious of the special connection you had with your grandma, so she just had to find something negative to say. Give yourself time to grieve and do pester your kids to your heart's content. 😉 (Also, I'll take this opportunity to say, I'm glad to read you as I haven't seen you around, and apologies in case I answered you weirdly a while back, my ability to read comments properly may have temporarily suffered, lol)
Load More Replies... my mother is a desperately religious piece of work, but one of my favorites was right after she outed me to the world and was trying to convince me that I was just confused. After maybe the hundredth conversation over a very exhausting weekend visit, she was explaining that women naturally have special bonds with other women because we can relate to each other in ways that we just can't with men. I was tired and went for the nuclear option, so I smiled and said, "I know, right? That's why the s3x is so incredible!" last time we talked about it :D
so much toxic POS family members, fortunately I disowned all the ones like this. Just do not speak, contact, email, phone, acknowledge, or even go into the same space-time locale with.
One Thanksgiving, I was breastfeeding my daughter, when my cousin’s husband very loudly commented, “Geeze! I haven’t seen another woman’s breast since I married your cousin!” :-/
Was at Christmas and I turned 18 that year, legal adult in my country. My Godparent aunt who I really looked up to said to me in front of my parents. 'Thank god you are finally 18. Now I don't have to give stupid presents for your Birthday anymore. Till this day she can't understand and frowns when I adress her by her name instead of aunty.
I thought that what I heart say about my parents and me by our family members was really nasty and bad but this was way worse 🤦
Family can be toxic as hell . Just because their blood doesn’t mean you have to put up with their b******t . Shut them down hard, cut them out of your life and live in peace .
I love my Mom but she never thinks before she speaks. We were Christmas shopping at the mall and were commenting on how busy it was when she said that it was a good thing that we didn't have any "kids" to buy for because the toy departments were crazy. This happened 7 months after the death of my infant son.
You've got a point there... But to say that all men think that certain kind of behaviour is okay, that's not fair to all those men who are just as disgusted by those perverts action as we are. I know for af fact that if ever someone would pull a stunt like that with me, my SO wouldn't even blink twice, that man would be down within a few seconds. Is it the correct way of handling things? I don't know, but I would not stop him.
Ooof. Reading these accounts makes me feel like I'm back home again. We can start with the entire family looking at my baby pics and laughing because I was so "ugly" (and such an obnoxious screaming baby). Then, one time as a teen I was changing clothes with my mother in the same room and she told me the unforgettable, "God, you have ugly boobs." Those are just the bookends of a very unhappy childhood and a lifetime of low self-esteem.
All these parents are awful and everyone one of you are invited to come over and bake cookies with me. Also to Thanksgiving and Christmas. I hope you all realize how wonderful and worthy you are.
Suddenly very grateful to have my bunch of blunt best friends who just happen to be my mother and sibling - we all genuinely see each other as friends first - my sister in law is my best friend in the world - I just wish my dad were still with us. But, yeah, I consider myself very lucky to have found myself in a family who love spending time together
Lucky aren't we? And I've only found out in the last few years how rare it is
Load More Replies... How do some people procreate? Are their personalities not disgusting enough?
At a family gathering, my husbands aunt asked one of his friends "what is it like being black?".... in a gathering full of white people, with my husbands friend being the only black guy there.
Not a family member but a neighbor at my grandmother's wake cornered several people to let them know her kids wouldn't support her. They didn't give her money and they had jobs. Her kids didn't live with her. Great wake people left quickly.
Thanks you, you are the partner your family needs, I wish there were so much more like you.
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