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Humor can be a powerful tool in the classroom. For example, Randy Garner, Ph.D., a psychologist at Sam Houston State University, found that students were more likely to recall a statistics lecture when it was interjected with jokes about relevant topics.
And sometimes, it can make the teacher's day too. Reddit user u/KDwiththeFXD recently shared a heartwarming and funny anecdote on r/Teachers, proving just how unpredictable kids can be.
It all began when u/KDwiththeFXD was subbing in a lower-achieving high school. A student, who happened to have developmental issues, became the target of a bully's remarks. The teacher was about to intervene and defend the student, but they quickly snapped back themselves, saying, "I am in here for a reason, and I have an excuse. You're here and failing because you're just dumb."
Unable to maintain a serious demeanor, u/KDwiththeFXD burst into laughter, leaving the bully feeling embarrassed and rendering them speechless for the remainder of the class. As the comments on the post poured in, many fellow educators shared their own hilarious encounters. Continue scrolling to check them out.
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#1
I have a very quiet super studious girl in my rowdiest class full of athletes. She keeps to herself, gets her work done and is generally my favorite kid ever. One day, the athletes were exceptionally horrible and I happened to walk by her as she muttered to herself "God your moms should have all swallowed"
I snorted coffee out of my nose. No one else heard. She was mortified that I heard her.
Hey! 2 years ago
Or they couldn't bring themselves to think their mother would do such a thing.
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T5n 2 years ago
If I were a teacher, I’d be so tempted to casually tell the girl that I agree.
Florence O'Grady 2 years ago
Sounds like a very astute young lady. May God give her the amount of wisdom, He gave to Solomon.
alwaysMispelled 2 years ago
Like, initially it's funny, but then you realize it doesn't make any sense.
Suzy Creamcheese 2 years ago
Some things never change. The jocks were the biggest @ssholes when I was in school back in the '60s. Stupid, loud, rude and thought their sh!t didn't stink.
RELATED:
#2
My class is prepping for a play, and one student was super pumped to do the sound design. He came up to me with his chromebook and airpods and said, "Here, listen to this sound effect, I think it would be perfect," so I put in the airpod and heard...... Rick Astley's "Never Gonna Give You Up." The kid Rick-Rolled me.
PolymathNecromancer 2 years ago
And apparently after hiding it from his kids while they were young, now he (and they) embrace its staying power as well <3
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Calfun 2 years ago
It came from the duckroll, a picture of a duck on wheels
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Cory Tollman 2 years ago
I used to hate how much Rick Astley videos were played on MTV. With the whole Rick Rolled thing I kind of like them now.
Rae Ramirez 2 years ago
My nephew would absolutely do this to someone. I hope it was not this person!!
Carol Fountain 2 years ago
I once had that song stuck in my head for six months. I had finally forgot about it and got home put on a Soundgarden video I had not seen in a while it was Rick Astley damn universe and Soundgarden Rick-Rolled me..
#3
Two kids with the same first name in one class. One was chronically absent. I’d call his name and the other one would say “maybe he died.” This went on for a few weeks. One day, chronically absent kid shows up and other kid says, just audibly enough for me to hear, “I murdered the wrong one.” I was ROLLING and no one else in the room new why.
Huddo's sister 2 years ago
This is basically what I said in year 7, except for the last part. Wish I'd thought of it, especially since there were actually three of us in the class.
the_harbringer_of_doom[s/t/h] 2 years ago
im cackling rn but i cant to loud because im in class lol
Nice Beast Ludo 2 years ago
I just pictured this as a kindergarten class thanks to the comment on the last one
#4
I’m a 7th grade SS teacher, one class I had to explain what a swine herder was. A student in the back called out “Does that mean a person with chickens is a… chicken tender?”
Two_rolling_black_eyes 2 years ago (edited)
Smart connection, good conclusion. One of the definitions of "tend" is "to care or look over". As a herder is someone who herds and a baker is someone who bakes, a tender can be someone who tends something, maybe some chickens. It may not be the most common usage of the word but it is one. We should encourage kids for using their brains to figure out words.
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Thegoodboi 2 years ago (edited)
I hereby declare, if you have chickens, you are a chicken tender *knocks gavel*
B-flat 2 years ago
What’s an SS teacher? When I see ‘SS’ my first thought is a connection with the nazi’s…
#5
All the time.
The other day I (a clumsy person) knocked my water bottle over and spilled it all behind my desk. Immediately I just start going “everything’s fine! Everything’s fine!”
A 2nd grade boy somberly said “Everything was not fine.”
glowworm2 2 years ago
Everything is fine, huh? I know a comic by that name. Boy, is it a doozy!
#6
I was once teaching a lesson about horseshoe crabs (environmental ed) and mentioned they lay 100,000 eggs a season. And a boy in the back goes “dayummm that’s a lot of child support.”
I couldn’t help it. Had to laugh.
Upstaged75 2 years ago
Cool until you accidentally step on one in the ocean. They're the Legos of the sea. :)
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Michelle C 2 years ago
My poor dog… I woke her up from her afternoon nap with my laughter! Sorry, baby girl!
#7
7th grader: but he's the one who started it.
Me: well it takes two to tango.
7th grader: but it only takes one to break dance
Student then begins break dancing.
Bobby 2 years ago
I'm sorry, the rest of your party died of shock because a bard finally did something useful
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Demongrrrrl 2 years ago
He's training for the Olympics! (Breakdancing is now a competitive sport.)
#8
Yesterday at the bake sale fundraiser my friend picked out an ugly looking cupcake and says "she's not the prettiest girl at the dance but she'll do". The most innocent student in the world replies "as long as she tastes good". The kid had no idea what she had said. Closest I've ever come to legitimately choking on food in my life.
Tiger Pearl 2 years ago
🤔 Maybe if you are eating food but choke on your saliva and not the actual food…
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#9
One of my students who REALLY needs his ADHD medication wasn't getting it for a couple of weeks, and he was having a hell of a time coping. He walking past me, and I heard him whispering to himself, "Holy spirit, activate!" When I'm having a bad moment nowadays, I can be heard whispering the same thing. It still gives me a giggle.
Telepathetic 2 years ago (edited)
A woman on "Family Feud" ---Just before the "Fast Money" round chanted that. Host Steve Harvey led the audience Clapping and Chanting with her (It's on Youtube somewhere)
Telepathetic 2 years ago
start at 2:03 https://www.google.com/search?q=family+feud+%22holy+spirit+activate%22&oq=family+feud+%22holy+spirit+activate%22&aqs=chrome..69i57j0i22i30l2.39040j0j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8#kpvalbx=_c6RNZIznDYyt5NoP_vC74A8_30
Spannermonkey 2 years ago
Not getting meds!? 🤔 Remote area?Natural disaster? War? 'Murica?....
Joelle Jansen 2 years ago (edited)
Even in other "western" countries, ADHD stimulant medications are *heavily* regulated. All you need is your psychiatrist to be unavailable for whatever reason and you could be out of a repeat prescription for a looong time.
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#10
I got so owned by my 4yr old pre k student.. Child-what’s your name Me-Miss Stephanie Child- what’s this (pointing at nose) Me-nose Child- (holding up hands) what am I holding Me- nothing Child- ha ha Miss Stephanie knows nothing. I look at the other teacher and she’s busted out laughing. I stood there in shock because he flawlessly executed the joke.
sociallyanxiousslug(She/Her) 2 years ago
Aww this reminded me of a boy at my old school who said the exact same thing to everyone he walked up to (when we were elementary school age). It was kind of his thing. I miss the kids from my old school.
Mela Queen 2 years ago
My kids saw this years ago on Bluey and still try to get me and anyone else they can 😅
The Silly Stellar Jay 2 years ago
Oh man he got you(r nose). Kids are often smarter than we give them credit for.
Whiskey Tango Delicious 2 years ago
Hi Miss Stephanie, my child goes to your school. Thank you, and thanks Miss P, my child now tells me this joke daily
PlatinumTheCat 2 years ago
I’ve had other kids do this to me but instead it was what’s your name, what color is the sky, what’s the opposite of down
#11
After telling a student he needed to sit down and do his work, he replied “it’s hard to work with all these children around.”
a normal human (any pronouns) 2 years ago
It's how I feel on a daily basis on all my classes when my classmates are feeling extra
Sean Simpson 2 years ago
“it’s hard to work with all these children around.” Teacher: “you don’t say…”
Michelle C 2 years ago
I admit I would have been the one to say: “ you’re also a child, my dear” fighting back laughter!
#12
I have two:
1. An 8th grader asked me if a skank was the female version of a skunk
2. Two boys were arguing and one told the other that he looked like a gummy bear. After getting them to knock it off I realized that he does, in fact, look like a gummy bear
The Silly Stellar Jay 2 years ago
When someone makes a valid point but you can't express it out loud.
#13
“Do I look handsome today? I’m wearing my dinosaur underwear!”
Suck it Trebek 2 years ago
Never under estimate the power of awesome underwear. They can make you feel like a million bucks.
Paul Scheermeijer 2 years ago
If you wear "the man" you are "the man" this also applies for all other qlbgt .... whatever (non)gender binary persons.
#14
I had an ELL class reading a simplified version of Romeo and Juliet, and I was reading the stage directions.
I read the direction, “They kiss. They kiss again.”
A 15 year old girl yells, “WHAT THE HELL KIND OF BOOK IS THIS?!?!”
I died.
Justin Smith 2 years ago
Actually its a brilliant story, but not as a love story. As a warning not to let your reaentment and hate towards someone damage your children.
Load More Replies... k1ddkanuck 2 years ago
I always kind of laugh and shake my head when lovey-dovey pop songs aimed at kids and teens have verses about Romeo and Juliet in their lyrics. It is literally a play about two young people committing suicide. It isn't some sort of fairy tale about young people who fall in love and everything turns out well. It is a literal tragedy. Not an allegory for a perfect youthful romance, contrary to popular culture.
Pink Princess 2 years ago (edited)
It's not like songs are always meant to contain good advice
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Phyzzi 2 years ago
And Tybalt. "Look after me tomorrow and you shall find me a grave man"...
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Strega Nonna 2 years ago
Oh, dear! That line could get Romeo and Juliet banned in FL, TX, OK, KS, and TN. After all, we don't want our children reading "suggestive" classical literature.
Leanne Hailes 2 years ago
That's just sad 😥 Glad I don't live in that country
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CrazyKnitter 2 years ago
Please let this be a Princess Bride reference. Probably not, but I can hope...
marvellady 2 years ago
Ok so this was my reaction when we had to read where the crawdads sing. If you’ve read the book you know what I mean
#15
My fourth grader comes up and says he needs to tell me something, but wants to do it quietly, looking all serious. He comes to whisper in my ear, and simply says, "No one out pizzas the hut."
k1ddkanuck 2 years ago
**Sigh**... Legitimately speaking, I see his schwartz is bigger than mine.
Junior Farrell 2 years ago
I have been thinking about pranking pizza hut by calling them and saying "hello, this is Pappa John's, we can out pizza the hut" then hang up.
PlatinumTheCat 2 years ago
But they don’t, maybe yours does, but where I live Pizza Hut is tied with dominoes for best pizza
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fair_weather_rose (she/they) 2 years ago
*glances around to make sure no one is eavesdropping* *whispers quietly* "no one out pizzas the hut" 🤫
#16
I play bass and teach general music. Since I’m teaching my third graders the instrument families right now, I figured I would show them a video of me playing bass. So it was a duet with my Asian male friend, and myself, a Caucasian female wearing a dress in the video. Conversation goes like this: “OMG! Is that you?” “Yes, it is!” “Which one?!” I should also note I’m seven months pregnant, so the idea that I look like an Asian man just killed me and I couldn’t stop laughing
#17
Small class (4) the other 22 went on a field trip for the advanced kids. Well, wasn’t teaching new content with the large majority of students not there…… The handful of kids wanted to play history hangman…..so, with the students guessing letters and missing over and over and over, one of the girls quickly said, “This is why we ain’t on the field trip!” I laughed out loud. Told her thank you for making me smile, that was the best joke I heard all year. Gave her candy. Top 5 moment of this year.
Nicole 2 years ago
This sounds so sad. Like only four are not ‘advanced’ and don’t get to go ? But how do they get more advanced and learn more when they aren’t invited on the trip 🤔
Maggie Dinzler Shaw 2 years ago
Just as bad is that the teacher didn't teach new content. The teacher should have presented an activity that would provide knowledge not necessarily in the curriculum but related to it. How often do you get to work with 4 students so that you could do some fun work that you can't do when the class is full? Enrichment for the kids with the other multiple intelligences. A treasure hunt using maps and clues based on math, vocabulary... Painting or drawing using the exquisite corps technique where they start and then switch paintings, adding to the new one and then again and again. Always respecting the work done by the previous painters and trying enhance the concept. Or what about just posting a quotation or a few on the board and let each student choose one to use as a basis for art, poetry, building, their own short story...the possibilities are endless and not hangman.
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QuirkyKittyGirl 2 years ago
My son got left behind for the big end-of-year trip in fifth grade because he had a habit of not turning his homework in. This particular teacher (i did not know this at the time, child told me a year later) had singled out my child and browbeat him for the entire year. At one point, this piece of garbage said to my ten year-old, "You're not even worth my time." The light went out in my son's eyes that year. He struggled and made random attempts throughout the years, but with COVID taking kids out of the classroom, my poor kid was just out. I sat with him for his classes, but I could tell he just wasn't there. He dropped out mid-year tenth grade, and never looked back. It breaks my heart.
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Noosh 2 years ago
I think the fact they have a trip for the ‘advanced’ students is really weird. You’re singling people out and basically saying they’re too stupid to go on a trip with all the other students. No one is more of less clever than anyone else. Some people just work harder, and some understand it all really easily. For example, someone might work really hard on something but can’t understand it and needs help, but someone might not try at all but get it right away. If anything, you should take the students who need support on the trip, to help them. I have dyscalculia (dyslexia but with number) so numbers mix up in my head or visually, and I find it really hard to do maths and it really stresses me out. But when I actually understand something I’m really good at it. Just because I don’t get it straight away and I find it difficult doesn’t mean I stupid and ‘less advanced.’ It just means I need support. So basically, this is f*****d up.
Ur Bro Lexi 2 years ago
i think it was just a coincidence that that class had so many kids who counted as "advanced" and not a few kids in the school who weren't based on the way its written. gifted programs take field trips, that's normal in most schools i know of. though my school wasn't creative with them lol. in fifth grade we got to go to martin's (giant/an american grocery store) lmao. we got martin's sunglasses though lol
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Lea Ann Panek 2 years ago (edited)
Wow. The number of "everyone gets a trophy" posts is surprising. Well, maybe not. I have no idea how this district arranges classes (and neither do any of you). In my county students are in gifted, regular or remedial. So entire classes are on the same syllabus. The next county over mixes them together. So you could have say 5 gifted students (who require different lessons and have iep's), 15 typically developing and 5 lower performing students (for whatever reason - special needs, not neurotypical or esl students who also all have iep's) - and what a mess for those teachers. So if the gifted group has a field trip (and our gifted tend to have more field trips as we need to challenge them) so if you have mixed classes, one group would be absent. It does sound odd that 22 would be an a filed trip, but I don't know the background here and would prefer not to judge. I guess that's just me.
BJ Hage 2 years ago
Your gifted kids get IEP's? Ours just got more work sheets
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Dawnieangel76 2 years ago
in this day & age of "everyone gets a trophy just for showing up", so many people forget that most times field trips WERE considered a privilege, not a right.
#18
During a 7th grade math test. Everyone is quiet and one girl starts sneezing. These sneezes are very loud room shakers that scare everyone. She stops for a minute then starts up a few again. In between a few of them I hear her friend next to her whisper "Stop doing that or you're gonna s**t yourself"
I don't know how I kept it together...
QuirkyKittyGirl 2 years ago
I never sneeze just once or twice. Last week, I sneezed for nearly half an hour. My son said, "Geez, Mom. Are you gonna be okay?" I still don't know the answer to that.
Julia Mckinney 2 years ago
Oh man, I can never sneeze less than 8-10 times. I average 10 or more sneezes and if I'm around strangers, someone invariably asks if im Ok, do I need kleenex or allergy meds (not sure what I'm allergic to, my doctors gave up trying to diagnose me a few years back so now we just treat the symptoms). I always have to explain, between sneezes, that this is normal for me but thank you anyway.
Nathan Shipman 2 years ago
A few Middle School classmates sneezed that loud a few times to. IT was always unexpected and made everyone in the room jump out of their skin.
Cat Crazy Lady 2 years ago
I remember when I was around 15 and a boy in my class had a cold. One time he sneezed on the guy in front of him. He had to clean his hoodie. And another time when he sneezed everything was so quiet in the classroom so you could hear spit and stuff fall on the floor.
#19
It’s my user name story! I created an account just to tell this story. Little pre-K boy was arguing with an assistant teacher (who shouldn’t have been a teacher for many reasons, one being she was okay arguing with a 4yo). She told the kid something like, “you smell like doo doo.” He responded with, “well you smell like dried lipstick.” And he had just the smuggest look on his face and I died laughing. He won the argument in my book. But also any adult who argues with a 4yo has already lost because you’re arguing with a 4yo.
fair_weather_rose (she/they) 2 years ago
But what color of dried lipstick did she smell like? (Also, what kind of "assistant teacher" thinks it's ok to tell a 4 year old they smell like doo doo?!)
Aisha Crenshaw 2 years ago
I think it's funny to argue with young children because of the things they come up with. And maybe that teacher thought so to and engaged the child for laughs
Jennifer Lias 2 years ago
My 1st grade teacher was incompetent. She argued with me about the word "shan't" saying it wasn't a word. I went and told Mom and she called the teacher and hoo wee. Needless to say, that 1st grade teacher hated me.
Strega Nonna 2 years ago
That is EXACTLY the advice that one of my graduate professors gave us: "Once you argue with a student, you have lost." I use that piece of advice when dealing with adults, as well. It works! P.S. I'm going to steal "you smell like dried lipstick." Kids come up with some of the best put-downs. Out of the mouths of babes . . .
Rabbit Revolutionary 2 years ago
Arguing with kids helps them learn to reason and think about what to say. Calling them names or insulting them means you lost, just like with adults.
#20
While subbing 8th grade one kid loudly said to another "Shut up! That's why my dad don't touch your mom no more"
QuirkyKittyGirl 2 years ago
I really, really, really hope this wasn't during the "Sex Ed" chapter in Health class!
Suck it Trebek 2 years ago
I would die. I wouldn't even be able to stop laughing long enough to keep my job.
#21
A third grader called me a big glob of goo, and then said I was fired and was calling the police. Actually, he screamed all of this at me at the top of his lungs. I still laugh about the glob of goo comment.
Also a kid told me I was “like a rock in his shoe” to mean I was annoying him. I use that one in my own repertoire of insults now
fair_weather_rose (she/they) 2 years ago (edited)
"Like a rock in my shoe," the latest (and best) variation of "thorn in my side." I need to find someone annoying to use that on
k1ddkanuck 2 years ago
When I was a young teen, I was once called a "flatulating orifice" by a ten year old I was babysitting. It remains the most creative way to call someone an a$$hole I have ever heard, let alone one that is expelling gas. It has been part of my repertoire for the past 20 years since.
Strega Nonna 2 years ago
Once a 5th grade special needs student yelled at me that I tried to kill him. I just looked at him and said, "Bill Bob (not his real name) did I REALLY try to kill you or did I tell you to sit down and finish your work? He replied, "Well, you were thinking that you want to kill me." I said, "How do you know what I am thinking?" He said in a very calm voice, "I'll sit down now."
Michael Largey 2 years ago
From the Latin "scrupulus", which means a small, sharp stone
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Redhead Canadian Panda 2 years ago
My husband always says he has a rock in his shoe when he sees someone he doesn’t want to talk to.
Cathy Jo Baker 2 years ago
Rock in my shoes, I love it! I will be using that on my 7th graders!
#22
I have a lot but heres a good one We were talking about favorite foods one day and this one 9th grader said he loved pickles. So the other kids in the class started asking him if he liked things like pickled beets, pickled onions, etc...he said yes to every single pickled thing they asked him. I asked if he'd ever tried pickled cucumbers and he said he didn't know they made those...lost my composure and had to be helped back to my feet after that one
Amberlie Mikelsen 2 years ago
How many people don't know that your basic, classic, Vlasic Dill pickles are in fact pickled cucumbers!? I've known this since I was three, people! And I'll be 43 this summer! Read the blooming ingredients!
Cindi Antrobus 2 years ago
If you ask my husband they are two very different things. Pickles are underfed pickled but pickled cucumbers are just In vinegar a short time whereas pickles set in the brine for a long time. My husband will only eat pickled cucumbers not pickles
Anastacia Collins 2 years ago
"Do you like pickles?" "Yes." "Do you like pickled cucumbers?" "What are those?"
#23
So far my favorite is when, early in the semester, I told students that we would be learning Latin dances (spanish teacher.) turns out a student misheard me, so after a month or so of classes while we have down time this one girl just blurts out “ so when are you going to teach us how to lap dance?”
QuirkyKittyGirl 2 years ago
It makes one wonder … where does one go to learn how to perform a satisfactory lap dance? Could we throw pole dancing for PE credit?
ί𝔫ＣίŦᵃт𝐔𝐬 2 years ago
You don't. It's all an art. This then becomes the difference between dancers on the Saturday night shift and dancers on the Tuesday morning shift.
Load More Replies... Strega Nonna 2 years ago
I am surprised that she didn't go home and tell her parents that you said that you were going to teach lap dancing. That's usually how those stories go. Then the teacher is put on the proverbial "hot seat" with the parents and the administration. It can be a toss-up as to who they will believe.
C.O. Shea 2 years ago
At least she's not the girl in human sexuality class in college who blurted out... "why is sperm so salty tasting?"
Cat Crazy Lady 2 years ago
I had a friend who had all kinds of questions like that, and she always asked me. It was at the strangest times so it was kind of funny. ;D
Load More Replies... PlatinumTheCat 2 years ago
Depends on the grade, it seems to me, once you hit 5th grade, kids are cursing and talking about dirty things and constantly cracking dirty, sexist, or racist jokes
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Michael Largey 2 years ago
Aspiring lapdancers rarely let mom and dad in on that fact.
Load More Replies... PlatinumTheCat 2 years ago
No, I’m certain this girl knew exactly what the teacher was talking about, I’ve heard my classmates say even worse things
#24
“Sometimes I fart when I run and it helps me go faster!”
EmbersAreOut 2 years ago
going full afterburner, and the place behind is the danger zone lol
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#25
convo with a kinder student:
student: you smell like my grandma
me: oh...that's nice
student: she died
first, i just about died trying not to laugh, then i started wondering if i should be worried.
The Queen Of Upper Butt Crack 2 years ago
I've never smelled moth balls. Couldn't get their legs apart.
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QuirkyKittyGirl 2 years ago
My Grammy smelled like lavender soap and mothballs, with occasional wisps of wintergreen. It was a very strange smell, but I loved her so much I didn't care.
Incompetent Pigeon 2 years ago
I think so. Maybe its like what flowers do as a "warning scent."
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ValdaDeDieu 2 years ago (edited)
Could be you both use the same dryer sheets when you dry your clothing.
#26
I’m a band director, and I was explaining to my beginner brass class the need to support their sound. I told them to think of squeezing their stomachs and I had a student say, “I have IBS so is it safe for me to do this?”
James016 2 years ago (edited)
I have it. It’s a condition where for no reason whatsoever at any time I get terrible stomach cramps and they only way to relieve that pain is to go to the toilet with diarrhoea. The cramps feel like someone is doing the worst Chinese burn on my stomach and then it slowly unwinds itself.
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#27
"Chicken wings are a side dish." Entirely innocuous, but the whole class dropped what they were doing when they heard it, and we proceeded to debate for, legit, 45 minutes.
Skid Marks 2 years ago (edited)
IMO..... Chicken wings can serve as an appetizer..... But can also be the main course.......I need to look into making dessert wings.
louie foster 2 years ago
Some people think that you should eat chicken with your fingers. That’s not right. The fingers should be eaten separately.
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fair_weather_rose (she/they) 2 years ago
Idk, I don't eat solid food. I just drink bloo- cranberry juice! Yeah, totally normal human cranberry juice that you buy at a totally normal human, uh, grocery store!
Suck it Trebek 2 years ago
I don't know man. This thought never occurred to me, but I say why the f**k not? Chicken wings as a side dish. New Thanksgiving dish.
Isaac Harvey 2 years ago
Things like this tended to happen in my senior year History class. Conversations tended to evolve into one of the teachers going on somewhat of a rant. For example, we could start by talking about how farming became so influential and eventually arrive at debating what constitutes a sentient being. I miss those days.
#28
“Please look around the ground for crayons that ran away from your desk and disappeared.” - me “Dang, just like my dad!”
Strega Nonna 2 years ago
I heard many similar revelations by my young elementary school students. It can be heart-wrenching.
Nancy Marine 2 years ago
For all we know, the kid's dad and mom live together and are still married. It's called "a.joke" for a reason.
#29
Teaching 8th grade - I had two really heavy-set boys in this class. They were told to give a presentation on their dream jobs. The heaviest of the two went first and said verbatim “My dream is to be a famous chef, it is a dream I have with such a fiery passion. Just like Steven’s dream is to swim in a swimming pool…filled with fried chicken.” I lost it.
Teresa Hale 2 years ago
Ummm…can you imagine how Steven felt? And the teacher is colluding by laughing? Just no.
#30
Student, to me: Miss, do you have a boyfriend?
Me: no I don’t
Student: soooo, does that mean you’re single and ready to Pringle?!
fair_weather_rose (she/they) 2 years ago (edited)
Just a mingle single who's ready to Pringle ;)
Thegoodboi 2 years ago
Have to make a duckbill with them, it's mandatory.
Load More Replies... #31
“Okay kids, fold your paper hotdog style”
“Your mom likes it hotdog style”
That’s a top 10 for me.
T'Mar of Vulcan 2 years ago
Once a kid told me that another one was "swearing your mom". I said, "I don't care." Kids goggling. Finally one asks, "Why not?" Me, "Because she's DEAD!" (Shocked looks all round.) "And if she were alive, she wouldn't care."
Keisha Washington 2 years ago
Then he better smoosh it good, smoosh it real good
Load More Replies... Dawnieangel76 2 years ago
Some things are juvenile but still funny. I (46-F) am well-known in my office to use "that's what SHE said" for a lot of comments.
#32
3rd grader was running from point a to point b. The way third graders just can’t stop doing. “Friends please slow down, it’s muddy out here today…” as if on cue, the friend with the big body he has yet to grow into falls literally over himself. Body out, mud all over his pants. Not hurt. Just a hot mess. “Friend, are you alright”. Kids looks up. Dead pan. “I hate my life..”. I still laugh (like I did under my mask then ) thinking about it to this day.
k1ddkanuck 2 years ago
I am a fully grown adult, and still have those moments. They never stopped, but frankly, they still help me grow once I get over the shame.
#33
These 2 boys were beefing over early morning basketball and one tells me "Apparently I broke his vertebrae, insulted his personal image, and airballed every shot! This is why you don't drink during pregnancy!" Another time 8th grade girls were talking astrology and one boy just shouts "STOP SPEAKING IN MOON RUNES"
fair_weather_rose (she/they) 2 years ago
BUT THE MOON RUNES TELL ME SECRETS ABOUT YOUR FUTURE!
#34
Recently I was discussing something with my high school seniors and someone used the word "tragedies." Without skipping a beat, the quiet kid next to him whispers "trage-deez-nuts" during one of those inexplicably silent moments that sometimes happen in a crowded room. I laughed my a*s off and everybody then had permission to crack up.
Em 2 years ago
Reminds me of the ancient Greek hero Bophedes, who was impervious to harm everywhere except his genitals. Many have told the sad tale of Bophedes' nuts.
Jane Doe 2 years ago (edited)
Dang. Like a rick roll. But with nuts. A nut roll.
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jjdubs W 2 years ago
I once (back in the 80's) took my sister and her friend to the Rocky movie that had an announcer say: "Totally awesome!" Unfortunately, the movie was taking a pause when I said, "Like tubular, you know?" (causing the people in the theater to all laugh). If looks could have killed, I'd be dead.
Michael Fuhry 2 years ago
Hmm, by any chance had you recently listened to Frank Zappa's Valley Girl?
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Beatrice McMillion 2 years ago
Discussing theme in books and movies with my senior English class. " Theme can usually be summed up in one sentence." To which a student, back of classroom asked, "Would the movie,Toy Story, be summed up as ' Little boy plays with his Woody until he gets a Buzz'? Couldn't help it, I burst out laughing.
Nancy Marine 2 years ago
I'm about to turn 59 and Deez Nuts jokes STILL crack me up every single time I hear one! It's my guilty pleasure!
#35
We were discussing Darwin's Theory of Evolution. I mentioned how most offspring never survive long enough to reproduce. One of my students raises his hand and says "you mean they all die as virgins?".
T'Mar of Vulcan 2 years ago
That's nothing. A girl in grade 6 once asked me if you can get pregnant from a bl** j**.
#36
Pre-K'er asked me how old I was. I told her. She said, "Oh my god! That makes me want to die!"
That convo will randomly pop in my head and still makes me laugh out loud!
Phobrek 2 years ago
Probably little kids thinking that any age above 20 or so = ancient
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Michelle C 2 years ago
I couldn’t help but think of one of my students who asked me how old I was recently. I told him and he nearly popped his eyes out of his head. He is one of the calmest and most straightforward kids I have ever had in my classes, so that was a surprise to me, and I nearly lost it laughing!!
foryouwhynot IB 2 years ago
My grandma was a second grade teacher. Some time after she retired, she went to visit her old classroom and one of the kids asked how old she was. When she answered, the little boy says wow, you’re old enough to be dead!
#37
I worked with a student who had Prader-Willi Syndrome (and the resulting behaviors). He peed on the floor, looked at us and said " TADAAAAAA". I had to walk away to laugh.
Rebelliousslug 2 years ago
Apparently it is a genetic disorder that, among other things, causes constant hunger that often results in childhood obesity and diabetes and some intellectual impairment and behavioral problems.
Janet Wheat 2 years ago
I once had a student with the syndrome. She got into the school’s freezer and ate a still frozen dinner and the box and the tray. It’s very sad. It was a residential school for children who had profound disabilities.
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Downunderdude 2 years ago
'A genetic disorder that causes obesity, intellectual disability and shortness in height. Prader-Willi syndrome is a genetic disorder usually caused by deletion of a part of chromosome 15 passed down by the father. The most common symptoms of Prader-Willi syndrome are behavioural problems, intellectual disability and short stature.' (thanks, wikipedia)
Bridgit Gilmore 2 years ago
Katy Price/Jordan's son has this. Very sad and difficult to manage.
USMCFelicia 2 years ago
I used to work with many young adults with Prader-Willi that lived in group homes. People with this condition are insatiable, they're never full, no matter how much they eat. They also can have behavioral issues, which at times can be aggression. I have many stories about these behaviors, including the time I was almost stabbed with a fork...but they also can be very humorous and sweet which is the case the majority of the time for most individuals. I can totally picture this kid as he's peeing on the floor watching his pants get wet as it rolls down his leg onto the floor like magic..tadaaa! Lmao this is great!
#38
First grade: Ms. Puzzled_loquat, I just come to school for the change of scenery.
k1ddkanuck 2 years ago
And then you will enter the job market for the same reason. The only difference is, you will have less fun.
fair_weather_rose (she/they) 2 years ago
That's fair. I only show up cause my dad teaches there and is friends with all my teachers and there's no way I could get away with skipping
#39
I teach 7th grade and they are still learning new vocab words and such. One boy told me he ‘had to go to the bathroom very tediuously’
Xenia Harley 2 years ago
I was teaching 7th grade science, and a child was reading a passage (she asked, not round robin) and stumbled over a word, another kid shouts out what he thinks is the word, ORGASM (organism was the word). As soon as he realizes, he kind of audibly gasps. It took a lot to not laugh and move right along!
Princess duck feathers 2 years ago
Oh my gosh I remember in class someone next to me did basically the same thing
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#40
My phone went off and played the digital freak out sound and one of my kids goes “I think that was Mr.‘s real voice” and so now he will walk by me and go “beep boop” and I just crack up.
#41
First grader, dead serious eating string cheese: “Excuse me. This cheese tastes like watermelon.”
T5n 2 years ago
Were you successful in picturing it? If not, I envy you. I currently have the flavor on my tongue.
Load More Replies... Rebelliousslug 2 years ago
Perhaps this sweet child has never tasted watermelon because…I cannot imagine this. Ew.
#42
“You so f****n annoying, that’s why your grandma stole from dollar general” Like what, how does that even make sense. I still laughed
fair_weather_rose (she/they) 2 years ago
Well you're so damn exasperating that your great aunt purloined from family dollar!
Raynell 2 years ago
"That's why..." is a popular black vernacular phrase. It rarely makes sense, which makea it funnier. It's a non-sequiter. But it's often based in the truth. I wouldn't be surprised if that kid's grandma really DID steal from the dollar store, in which case it's a mean roast.
#43
I had a Taco Bell cup from a rare opportunity to leave campus for lunch. A kid said, “Oh, you gonna get GASSY.”
No Name 2 years ago
Am I the only one who has never gotten diarrhea or anything like that after eating taco bell?
Junior Farrell 2 years ago
No, i have eaten taco bell many times and never got diarrhea.
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#44
A kid told me once that he didn’t want to get cancer because he didn’t want to run across Canada like Terry Fox did.
Rebelliousslug 2 years ago
I don’t get this at all. Should I get it? Is this common knowledge?
k1ddkanuck 2 years ago (edited)
Terry Fox is one of the most recognizable and important Canadians to have ever lived, but only to Canadians. He contracted a form of bone cancer at the age of 18, lost a leg, and began a marathon to run across Canada, from the Atlantic to Pacific oceans, using a prosthetic, to raise funds for cancer research. He died part way through his mission, in 1981. An icon and legend if ever there was one. I'm honestly glad this kid knows who he was.
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#45
This week a 4th grader said to a classmate, "bro, look at you. You're sweating. That's proof you're doing too much." A 5th grader: "Home Depot, we have the meats." And a 3rd grader, explaining why they don't like kiwi: "it has hair... Like a woman."
fair_weather_rose (she/they) 2 years ago
I think the home depot one is a reference (or perhaps an accidental mix-up) of the Arby's (fast food chain) slogan "Arby's, we have the meats"
Lauren Sweet 2 years ago
When I taught Pre-k, one of the kids was telling me about the picture he drew of me, him, my coteacher and some other kids. He drew each person with their distinguishing feature, for example my coteacher was really tall and her picture was all legs with a little body at the top of the page. My feature seemed to be really fat arms and I was trying to figure out why he thought my arms were faf when he points to that part of the picture and said "and those are the boobs because even though you can't see them, sometimes you can tell they're under the shirt" I was literally wearing a baggy sweatshirt at the time
#46
Yup. One kid manages to bring up Arby's in every conversation. In a legit funny way.
QuirkyKittyGirl 2 years ago
A lovely place that serves roast beef sandwiches and other yummy stuff. https://www.arbys.com/
Load More Replies... #47
A 2nd/3rd grade class in one of the schools I used to work in voted on their classroom slogan and chose “we have the meats.” I thought this was hilarious.
fair_weather_rose (she/they) 2 years ago
There sure are a lot of Arby's references in this post. I didn't realize it was so popular with the youths these days.
Pink Princess 2 years ago
Lol I'm a teenager and I don't even know what Arby's is
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LadyDez 2 years ago
In a college history class, my professor, who had notoriously bad handwriting, wrote some important point on the dry erase board. It was pretty illegible. A student in back of the lecture hall yelled out "Are you SURE you're left- handed?" We all died laughing and then the teacher hurled the marker at him. It was hilarious.
RandomPanda 2 years ago
One time in 8th grade history, my teacher asked "what are people from Oregon called?" B3xause my classmate was being an idiot, and I legit raised my hand and said "oreganos" with a the most straight face possible and my entire class f*****g lost it.
Andy Frobig 2 years ago
Roll call in performance class, mandatory attendance for all music majors. Doc M (picture Matt Groening with a trombone): where's Mike? Kevin: In the bathroom. Doc M: What's he doing? Kevin: Thinking of you
Andy Frobig 2 years ago
Another time, wind ensemble rehearsal. Professor W would tolerate no phones or alarms, he'd answer your phone if it rang or confiscate your watch. It almost never happened, then one day an alarm went off. W was just about to go off himself, then we all looked at the clock: 4:20. Even W lost it
Load More Replies... Huddo's sister 2 years ago
The one that sticks with me was a 5 year old who said "I'm a river, so I'm everywhere". I can't remember if we were talking about places in the world or what, but he was technically right, his name is River.
LadyDez 2 years ago
In a college history class, my professor, who had notoriously bad handwriting, wrote some important point on the dry erase board. It was pretty illegible. A student in back of the lecture hall yelled out "Are you SURE you're left- handed?" We all died laughing and then the teacher hurled the marker at him. It was hilarious.
RandomPanda 2 years ago
One time in 8th grade history, my teacher asked "what are people from Oregon called?" B3xause my classmate was being an idiot, and I legit raised my hand and said "oreganos" with a the most straight face possible and my entire class f*****g lost it.
Andy Frobig 2 years ago
Roll call in performance class, mandatory attendance for all music majors. Doc M (picture Matt Groening with a trombone): where's Mike? Kevin: In the bathroom. Doc M: What's he doing? Kevin: Thinking of you
Andy Frobig 2 years ago
Another time, wind ensemble rehearsal. Professor W would tolerate no phones or alarms, he'd answer your phone if it rang or confiscate your watch. It almost never happened, then one day an alarm went off. W was just about to go off himself, then we all looked at the clock: 4:20. Even W lost it
Load More Replies... Huddo's sister 2 years ago
The one that sticks with me was a 5 year old who said "I'm a river, so I'm everywhere". I can't remember if we were talking about places in the world or what, but he was technically right, his name is River.
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