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44 Bizarre Things That Folks Thought Were “Normal” In Most Homes But Absolutely Weren’t
Interview
What you think you know might not be even close to how the world works. When you’re still a kid, you grow up with all of these traditions, habits, and behaviors in your family that you take for granted. You think that they’re normal and widespread… but that might not actually be the case.
Adult internet users took to an online thread on AskReddit to reveal the most bizarre things their families did that they only later realized other households didn’t do. Keep scrolling to read their experiences, both surprisingly positive and concerningly negative.
Bored Panda reached out to u/Pale_Pie_4789, who sparked the online discussion, for a friendly chat about family habits and traditions. You'll find our interview with them below!
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
We are a family of big readers. On family holidays, it would be 100% normal to see my parents and all of us kids draped over different pieces of furniture in the holiday home all quietly reading our own books together. Every now and then, we'd read each other a cool sentence or paragraph, or get up for snacks or drinks, but we'd spend whole afternoons like that.
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#2
POSITIVE POST
I always just thought my parents were just cool, chill and liked all the kids at the house… now as an adult I realize my Mom came from a super [toxic] family…. She saw many kids in our neighborhood going hungry, not wanting to go home, [mistreated], neglected, sad, hurt, etc…. She always treated them like a little members of our family, always let them stay, eat with us, do chores with us, spend the night with no questions, gave medical advice (she was a nurse), explained how and why they needed to go to college. My Dad was always the one who helped with the orchestrated fun, drove us to get ice cream, dropped us off at the movies, made sure we were safe at the pool, took us to an arcade, stayed up as late as us making sure we weren’t doing dumb [stuff].
My point is…. BE THE AMAZING YOU WISH TO SEE IN THE WORLD.
#3
Starting with the first birthday in January, my family sends the same birthday card from person to person, e.g. someone born on January 17th signs it and sends it to someone on February 1, rinse and repeat, until at the end of the year everyone in the family has signed the card.
Cultivating positive family traditions can be a huge benefit to everyone involved. For one, you’re spending lots of time together, and it strengthens the bonds between you and your relatives. On top of that, you’re also keeping your family history alive, passing along your values, and making awesome memories together.
The fun thing about traditions is that they can involve, well, pretty much anything! They can be as silly or serious as you want to make them. And the timing is up to you, too: you can focus just on the holidays, spend Sunday lunches together (no phones!), or pick something completely random. Just keep it regular.
#4
I remember spending hours playing boggle, dominoes, parcheesi, and various card games with my parents.
Boggle was the favorite because Mom had MS and used it to help keep her mind sharp as it was affecting her memory. You'd hear her rattle the box and yell "Challenge me!" And no matter where we were or what we were doing Dad and I would drop everything and go play.
Mom passed away in 2009, then Dad followed in 2018. I haven't played since he passed. Apparently most other people don't enjoy playing something "boring" like boggle.
#5
Being very literate. My parents read to me from a young age, and we always had more books than shelf space. Whenever I go to a friend's house, I'm surprised by the lack of 7 foot tall shelves with double-stacked books and stacks of books on the floor.
Luke Branwen 3 weeks ago
My situation exactly. And now, I'm looking for a publisher for my own book.
#6
I realized that most people genuinely care about their families and the closeness isn't just a show.
As a kid, my parents were nice to me and my siblings in public.
My mother was a scout den mother, school crossing guard, PTO and rec center volunteer. My father was an all-around decent guy -- he'd give someone the shirt off his back.
At home, they[mistreated] us on a daily basis. They beat us to the point that we had to be kept out of school, from time to time, until the visible bruises went away.
Because my sibs and I weren't permitted to hang out at our friends' houses, we really had no idea that most people didn't live like that.
The point is to create a reason (frankly, any reason) to get everyone in one place so they can spend quality time together. With that in mind, it’s important to remember that being together is key, not the tradition itself. If you have to make small adjustments to your traditions to make them slightly more palatable to new generations, do that, while keeping their essence intact.
You have to be a bit flexible. You want your family members to want to be part of these traditions, and not feel like they’re forced to participate for some obscure reasons.
#7
I bet a lot of these are going to be depressing so I’ll get this one in real quick.
Sit down all together and eat a home-cooked meal at the dining room table every night. We even ate lunch together at the weekend (assuming you were in). We’d chat a bit and listen to Radio 4 (god I’m so middle class).
When I went to my friends’ houses I was always like, idk, not surprised exactly but at least interested to see them eating in front of the tv and eating chicken nuggets whilst their mum pottered about as a usual thing, since that was a treat in my house.
I was very lucky, I think.
StrangeOne 3 weeks ago
That dinner looks delicious. I grew up with casual, to semi formal dinners at the table every night. I loved it at my friends when we could eat our dinners on the couch, watching TV or something. Maybe it was because I was stuck cleaning the dishes after, but at home, the food was transferred from pot, bottle, pan, to casserole and serving dishes, doubling the amount of dishes to clean. Thankfully we had a dishwasher, but it didn't fit all the dishes used and letting them soak in the sink was not allowed. The table had to be set all fancy then cleared off. Every now and then, this is okay, but DEAR GOD, not every night. My mom is more relaxed about it, but when she was with her last husband he wanted this romantic, fancy, 5 star dining experience at home every night. However, eating at the table was the usual. For my own family, eating on the couch has been the usual. The table is for computer time, art projects and a place to put the mail.
#8
I've heard mums don't tie their kids hands behind chairs and make them eat by bending down to the plate with their mouths - in reaction to them eating with their hands instead of forks. Also they don't make them eat food out of the rotting food bin, news to me!
#9
We always hug hello and goodbye and say “love you”. Non-family gets hugs,too.
We were curious to hear about the inspiration behind the intriguing topic. The author was kind enough to share the story with us.
"On the day I made that post, I had just visited a friend’s home. After dinner, everyone left their plates on the table, and their mom collected them to take to the kitchen. That felt so unusual to me because, in my family, everyone takes their own plate to the kitchen after eating," u/Pale_Pie_4789 shared.
"It got me thinking about how every household has its own version of 'normal,' and that curiosity inspired me to ask the question," they said.
"I’ve always found it fascinating how the little everyday habits we grow up with can seem totally unique or even strange to others."
#10
When we were kids I seem to remember every morning throwing myself into the massive pile of clothes in the big cupboard in the hall to look for clothes for school. Everyone’s (family of 6) clothes were thrown in there together, unfolded, so it wasn’t easy. Often I couldn’t find socks and would have to run to the corner shop for a pair of £1 socks to wear to school. (Honestly, we must have been the only reason they stocked socks).
I used to see tv shows and movies where people had clothes neatly folded in drawers or hung on hangers and thought that was fake 😂
My mum was a widowed mum of 5 and looking back, probably had undiagnosed adhd. I imagine she was barely keeping. Her head above water 🤷♀️.
StrangeOne 3 weeks ago
This is not really a sign of ADHD, per se. This just sounds like a mom who was too tired, may be depressed, and keeping her priorities to what she finds important, which is not taking the time to sort and fold laundry. Having 5 kids and having to sort through whose clothes are whose, I can imagine would take a bit of time she likely didn't have, nor the energy to care.
#11
Kept the bathroom door open. I grew up in a house full of women, no men. So my mom kept the bathroom door open and would full on keep conversations with us girls going while she relieved herself. WE kept the door open to talk to each other and her. When I got my first apartment with a friend, I thankfully got the room with the bathroom attached but I remember leaving both my bedroom door open and the bathroom door as I’m having a conversation with my roomie and she heard me peeing and was the one to tell me that’s not “normal” household behavior 😅😅.
#12
Vacuuming the entire house every night and my dad doing a white glove test on everyone's furniture once a week to make sure we deep cleaned it to his standards. (PS my dad has OCD lol).
Once you’ve read all the stories and upvoted the ones that left an impact on you, we’d like to hear from you, dear Pandas.
What are the most bizarre things that people in your home did that you never found in any other family? What kinds of family traditions do you have, and what do you do to maintain them throughout the years? Let us know in the comments.
#13
This one's positive.
My grandma was born with one arm. It was never weird or looked down on in my family. No one even brought it up. So of course, as a kid, I made the assumption that everyone's grandma has one arm. I sometimes still get thrown off if I'm meeting someone's grandma for the first time and I shake their right hand. I always held my grandma's left hand.
Zig Zag Wanderer 3 weeks ago
Ha ha! My partner's great aunt (iirc) has no arms. Does everything for herself with her feet. She is apparently great at mocking people who complain about little things being difficult!
#14
My dad was always hard on me. Yelling at me for small things and exploding on me for a big mistake. I would always be afraid to make my friend’s dads upset because I thought they would do the same.
I have two daughters now and I have never and will never yell at them like that. I will break the cycle.
#15
Eating dinner at other people's houses, guests weren’t offered or passed the food first. Playing at diff friends’ houses, guests sometimes weren’t offered drinks or snacks—not even fruit, crackers or water.
We were very poor and most ppl had more than we did (they had two working parents, cars and house phones or owned their homes, which we for a time did not b/c we could not afford them), but my mom always gave food and drinks to ppl. Esp to little kids.
StrangeOne 3 weeks ago (edited)
Yeah, I never understood this. Everyone ate when they were over at my house. It didn't have to be at meal time. My mom was always offering snacks and drinks, sometimes treats. She would ask if my friend would be allowed to stay over for dinner, or a sleepover, even. I'm really glad I lived at a time when sleepovers were popular. Sometimes my best friends were living across town and were a bit more difficult to see them often. Every weekend, it was sleepovers either at my home or my friend's home.
#16
We needed to literally lick our plates clean. Found out later it’s NOT allowed in most homes.
#17
A Christmas picture every year where about 30 of us are wearing paper bags on our heads.
I knew it was quirky but it was our thing. Then us grandkids got old enough to bring partners to family Christmas...
#18
My father never spoke to me, never asked about school, never drove me anywhere, my mom did. When I was old enough to visit a friend I was shocked to see their dad was smiling, chatting with us, making us pancakes... I remember I asked my friend "what's your secret?" because I wanted my dad to be like this with me as well. So, lack of affection (no hugs, kisses) was the normal thing in our house.
Julia Mckinney 3 weeks ago
Yeah, my parents didn't do affection too well but they did show it in other ways.
#19
Making your kids eat food they spilled on the floor. It was so awkward when I told this story to someone in my college class and their response was “that’s just [mistreatment]”. I’ve had moments like that more than I care to remember and just wish I could have seen how bad some of these scenarios were before talking.
#20
Fearing your father. I wasn’t allowed to visit my friend’s houses often, but when I did get to I was always shocked at how they were allowed to speak to their dad. No fear of spankings or intimidation, no belittling in front of others.
KrazyChiMama 3 weeks ago
My dad really was a great “girl dad” once I was old enough to be a little girly. Before that I was a tomboy who was Dads little buddy and helper. He passed in 2018. Miss him everyday!
#21
When it's your birthday, you're the boss of the house until the next person in the household's birthday.
My sister's birthday is exactly two weeks after mine, but I was thrilled when I moved in with my boyfriend, whose birthday was 23 days before mine, and we had no flatmates. Conveniently for him, he said as his family didn't have this rule, he wouldn't abide by it.
#22
Weird restrictions that only applied to us kids. Only allowed to shower twice a week and had to be cold water becs hot water was wasted on children. Not being allowed to eat anything without express permission from stepmom. Never had an after school snack in my life. She thought we were growing too tall too quickly, so me and my little brother were never allowed to have milk or juice, or fresh fruit and veggies and absolutely no eggs or meat unless it was a special occasion. We both grew up to be tall anyway.
StrangeOne 3 weeks ago
Now that sounds like a***e and neglect. Why bother marrying someone with kids if you despise kids so much you can't tolerate them to have proper care?
#23
Mother's don't hold knives to their daughters throats at Christmas day lunch. Who would've known!
#24
That not all families exist in a constant state of tension & low level chaos.
And that siblings in normal families are loving, loyal, & supportive.
#25
Saying “I love you!” every time a family member walks out the door or gets off the phone. Sometimes multiple times.
My kids follow my lead so enthusiastically that we had to literally limit it to “ONLY ONE ILOVEYOU”. (Funny when someone comes back for a forgotten key or hat or bag ‘, and the chorus starts up again.) My husband’s family is kind but not as demonstrative, so affectionate words are for Special Occasions. It was adorable to see his parents react to being cheerfully told, “I love you!” on random weekdays by my kids.
Then again, the backstory is that my family moved a lot internationally, so sometimes a hug and an ILOVEYOU had to last a few years before we saw someone again. I said an “I love you” to my grandfather before moving overseas, and a month later he passed away.
Every chance to remind someone that you care for them is a good one :).
Never Snarky 3 weeks ago
My husband and I say “I love you” many times every day. We’ve been together 52 years.
#26
There were a couple years of my childhood where we lived with my grandparents. My 2 aunts and 2 uncles were either still in high school or just barely out of high school and they all lived in the house too.
Every morning we’d all discuss the dreams we’d had through the night. Grandparents, aunts, uncles, my mom, brother & I. It was just what everyone did in the morning. And when we no longer lived together there would often be morning phone calls to discuss dreams.
When I first started dating my boyfriend and spending the night with him I’d wake up in the morning and ask about his dreams and he’d look at me like I was insane. I just thought it was what everyone did.
Fat Harry (Oi / You) 3 weeks ago
I'm not sure that picture illustrates quite what you intend, BP...
#27
My mum stayed in bed all day until dinner time, watching tv. I thought it was normal until I visited friends' houses and their mums were up and dressed! Only realised many years later that she was dealing with depression, anxiety and most likely undiagnosed autism.
#28
A refrigerator in the garage full of beer. They got 8 cases of beer delivered on Sundays every single week. I had no clue everyone did not have a beer fridge.
Pwhge Kfkfgnme 3 weeks ago
Imagine only having one beer fridge and having to go out to the garage for a cold one.
#29
Muting the tv commercials. My parents would scramble to find the remote so they could hit “mute” for every commercial break. I’m still not sure if it’s a blessing or a curse, because I lost out on hearing a lot of popular culture jingles when I was younger, but missed a good amount of “consumer culture” brain-rot as well.
#30
Carpet in the kitchen AND bathroom.
#31
That people don’t share cars.
I grew up my parents didn’t have a specific car they just drove whichever they felt like. When my siblings got cars it was like a communal fleet and daily schedule for who was driving what where.
I literally let anyone (I know, friends, family, partners family) drive my car.
My siblings let me drive theirs and it’s not really a huge deal.
I talk to my friends and partner (and his family) this is very much not normal and people don’t share or let anyone drive their car. I was soo mind blown. It’s just car…. It’s insured…. I don’t understand, if someone needs it and it’s just gonna sit there why not let them use it 🤷♀️.
Child of the Stars 3 weeks ago
My parents never shared their cars with each other, but it was a matter of practicality. My dad had a small 4-door, highly fuel-efficient car for work and my mom had a big, 10 passenger van because besides my 3 siblings and me, she also was our church's unofficial babysitter
#32
Having yelled conversations from another room. I dont do it any more but my husband used to get really annoyed by it and I didn't understand for a while what the problem was. Now, I totally get how rude it is.
#33
That many people actually stay in touch with extended family, and actually want to be with them, as opposed to the friction and favoritism I saw in mine.
Hell, I didn't even know I had grandparents until I was around 10/11 years old.
I still refer to those strangers as 'my dad's parents'. I never knew my maternal grandmother because she died young, and my maternal grandfather wasn't in my life until much later.
Smeghead Tribble Down Under 3 weeks ago
That is very sad :( I had the most wonderful maternal grandparents on earth.
#35
We held weekly dinners for embassy employees. Had a couple maids. Had different tutors almost every day.
Didn't know what poverty was until I was older. Once I saw my parents give this person money, and that person started fighting with another person for it, and I didn't get it.
RomanceRadish 3 weeks ago
The first time I heard someone use the term "living paycheck to paycheck" I was confused why that was a term, I thought it was just normal life.
#36
Families don’t scream at each other that often apparently.
#37
I'm in my 30s now, but took a long time to realize how dysfunctional my family was.
Lacking affection from parents and them having interest in your hobbies seemed normal to me.
An alcoholic dad who made fun of you but tried to get you to drink with him and be considered cool with your peers.
Not being allowed to make mistakes. Being told you were a disappointment when you didnt succeed at things.
Being told what to study in college or what job to work at.
Never being wrong and twisting things to them being the victim or you being wrong.
Them actively stopping you from getting help with mental health out of fear of being "labelled" or fear of embarrassment of others knowing you had struggles.
Both parents putting down each other trying to get you to take one of their sides against the other.
There's so much more, but its late and I can't focus.
I thought families were always dysfunctional and just hid it from others. Then you see a completely healthy family and you're suspicious of why they're so chill and loving.
Smeghead Tribble Down Under 3 weeks ago
''Never being wrong and twisting things to them being the victim or you being wrong.'' My father to a T -_-
#38
My brother physically beating up on me, his younger sister. I think my parents didn’t know what to do about it. He had quite the temper. I was in therapy and I mentioned to my therapist that my brother beat up on me often, just like what was normal in other families. She looked at me and said “that’s not normal”.
#39
When I went to visit my grandparents my Nan would give us courses of dessert. Jelly, then ice cream. And sometimes something else. When I went with friends once they couldn't believe we got that much dessert 🤣
It was definitely too much 😁
Then we'd leave an Nan would sneak us more chocolate to take home. God I miss her.
Gingersnap In Iowa 3 weeks ago
I had the first great grandchild and my grandma would send us care packages with treats and a little spending money. I miss her so much.
#40
Not my family, but someone I knew in college said their family kept a big pot of gravy on their stove at all times. They would just add to it and keep it going.. they had gravy with every meal. It was like a staple for them.
I like gravy occasionally but that’s just weird.
#41
I get a lot of grief for this one from my friends.
I grew up maybe upper middle class? Not sure. Anyhow when we would travel, my father would always order a stretch limo to take us to the airport. One day, as an adult, I was very casually telling this to one of my friends and she was like "Hold up, what?" And that's when I learned that not every family took limousines to the airport.
dean tirmizi 3 weeks ago
if its a + 5 family sometimes it can work out cheaper to get a limo over 2 cabs, me and my friends figured this out when a group of us needed to get to an airport over an hour away
#42
Other parents don’t drive drunk with their kids in the car.
#43
I found out that my kids were shocked to learn that the Motorcyle Game isn't an *everyone* game, but it should be.
It is a *competitive sport* in our family to be the first to call "Motorcyle" when one is sighted (even in murals, apparently) or heard.
**This game can save lives**.
Also seems much fairer and kinder than Punch-Buggy, especially when your spouse and children are colorblind AF.
arthbach 3 weeks ago
Parents, grandparents, anyone who take children outside, please p.ay the motorbike game. You just give a call each time one is spotted. It trains children to be on the lookout for motorbikes. When these children become adults and start driving cars they will have it deeply ingrained to look out for motorbikes.
#44
It's a small thing, but the home I grew up for several years had a special holder for Dixie cups mounted to the wall, right next to the bathroom sink. I remember the first time I stayed at a friends house wondering where their Dixie cups were and how they rinsed their mouths out without them.
#45
We never ate dinner as a family. First the kids; then the parents. Also weren't allowed to drink any liquids with meals because it was supposed to be better for digestion. Fun!
StrangeOne 3 weeks ago
Another thing I never understood. I was always, mainly, thirsty. Parched. But my dad and his wife started denying me drinks with my supper while serving me dry, chewy, white meat.
#46
Mouth kisses. My family were mouth kissers and I didn’t know it was gross and weird until I was an adult.
#47
Not me but my children:
We play a game every night at dinner called High, Low, & Funny. The children tell us the high point of their day. Then they tell us something stinky that happened. We follow the stinky part up with something to giggle about. This is to help our kids get better at communicating and sharing.
My son was at a friend’s house for dinner and was in shock that they’d never played it. He called me right away to tell me all about how weird it was that they’d never played didn’t play it.
Huddo's sister 2 weeks ago
My cousins kids did 'three good things that happened today' and 'three things I'm looking forward to' each night before bed. Their mum is a psychologist so she knows how important it is for kids to have things to feel good about. They are all adults now (I babysat them when the eldest was 11 and youngest 2, and I can't believe where the time went) and just really well adjusted, confident people. My mum would have liked to do a similar thing with us, but five kids, two with disabilities, evenings were often chaotic and her undiagnosed ADHD meant she wasn't good at following through with ideas consistently.
#48
Never really clicked in until after high-school that, everyone's mom doesn't have bpd and narcissism.
Some people's parents want the best for their kids and aren't looking for infinite free passes from the behavior.
#49
My parents basically outsourced having to do things with me—we were solidly middle class, but I’m in my mid-thirties and starting to realize how not normal that was. If anyone else can relate, that would be cool because I have yet to meet anyone who was just… alone… the way I was.
I was really lucky that my parents drove me to music lessons, therapy, and paid for me to go to a daycare that regularly provided enrichment experiences. My mom even took me to the Bahamas a few times and literally paid someone to do a few excursions with me. Otherwise, I didn’t see her.
I never had homework help. There were no routines.
No one sat down with me to practice piano.
No one taught me basic hygiene, like how to take care of my hair, use deodorant, put on a coat over long sleeves, how to make my bed, or even shave my legs.
No one taught me how to act appropriately at friends houses, so with ADHD, I mostly just got consistently banned from them.
To this day, I am still figuring out basic life skills and realizing THAT is why I always felt so disconnected from my family.
Other people DID things together. Outside of watching TV, driving me places, or ordering takeout? I had very little relationship with my mom, dad, or sibling beyond that. It’s really hard to describe.
#50
We ate dinner late, like 9/10 o'clock. Not for any particularly nefarious reason, we're just all night owls, and we like to eat dinner a couple of hours before bed.
I still think eating dinner around 6pm is absurdly early. I'm not hungry yet at that time, and if I eat at 630 or so and I'm still up at midnight or later, I definitely get hungry again (not snack hungry, meal hungry).
#51
I mean I hate to say this because I know it's not true, but the love I feel from people outside of my family has always been much stronger than the love my family shows me.
Like the first time someone did something for me unconditionally I cried because praise and gifts were the only way they could show me love.
The first time someone hugged me I felt like "wow idk why, but I feel like everything is gonna be okay".
I talked to my therapist about my fear of intimacy and we concluded that I didn't receive love in the ways I wanted as a child. No physical touch, no acts of service, but plenty of quality time, gifts, and words of affirmation. Because of this it was shocking to feel those different love languages for the first time.
StrangeOne 3 weeks ago
It could also be that when those outside our family show us how much they care, it gives us a contrasting feeling that they're being genuine because there is no family ties of obligation to do anything, like it can sometimes feel with family.
#52
I was born in 1989 and raised in the 90s by a single mother. Back then, everyone let their kids play outside until it started to get dark.
My mom let me do this as well except she had a rule. I had to either call or come home and check in every couple of hours.
I assumed every household did this. It wasn’t until my friends said my mom was strict that I realized it was abnormal. Even as a kid, I never thought my mom was strict. She just wanted to make certain I was safe.
#53
The amount of sugar people eat, or rather the amount we don’t eat!
My mum’s been really hostile about my almost-2-year-old’s diet since she started on solid food, telling people we have her on some kind of super strict specialist sugar-free diet. And it’s really confusing because no we don’t? We just feed her what we eat and don’t give her sweets (at this point I don’t mind her having a little bit of cake etc occasionally to join in with others but if I tell my mum that it’ll be sweets for every meal).
She’s recently started babysitting her once-twice a month and after some really confusing conversations I’ve realised it’s because she thinks the only way to not eat sugar is to buy pre-made products marketed as “sugar-free”. So sugar-free ketchup, sugar-free flavoured instant porridge, sugar-free flavoured yoghurts, sugar-free croissants etc.
She just doesn’t get that we don’t buy or use any of that stuff, we just cook normal home-made food and don’t put sugar in things or eat sugary products with it. And it’s not just for our daughter, we’ve always eaten like that, it’s not some big conscious effort! It’s been eye opening that in her household their diet seems to lean so heavily on pre-made products. .
Rali Meyer 3 weeks ago
sugar IS the mother of all evil. Yet, I grew up on candy bars and ice cream. But skinny!
#54
I didn’t realize people actually ate turkey at Thanksgiving. We always had a ham, and I thought that was just something people did on TV.
Turns out my grandma just hates turkey.
#55
It’s what we didn’t do. Both parents came from teetotal families. It was rare that they kept alcohol in the home or served it to guests.
#56
Tuna sandwiches and potato soup for dinner, grilled cheese with tomato soup for dinner, breakfast for dinner, and never eating out.
#57
I didn’t know aunts and uncles actually played with the kids. I thought it was only on tv.
Huddo's sister 2 weeks ago
My 'uncle Donald duck' was great with us when we were kids, I think because he didn't have any of his own. He made cool duck noises and gave us rides on his back and stuff. Then when we were older he actually talked to us like adults, which not everyone did. If he still lived in the country we would probably still be close. My dad's siblings we weren't very close to physically or emotionally (I think it was a family trait).
#58
The ritual of "getting the TV out".
Until 1991, the only TV our family had was a black-and-white portable that was kept, unplugged, on a shelf, with a cloth over it. If we wanted to watch it, we had to clear a space for it on the dining table, set it up and wait for it to warm up. I remember thinking as a kid that it would be so liberating to be able to just turn the telly on whenever you liked without all that faffing around.
StrangeOne 3 weeks ago
The desire to have the TV hidden until used was definitely an attitude that baffled some of us kids. The older adults thought of TVs as distracting and brain-rotting devices. (Sound familiar?)
#60
Family was pretty toxic in alot of ways but one thing positive...
Home cooked dinner together at 6 every day. If you were working you got a pass, otherwise you were home for dinner at 6. Also, had to learn to cook pretty young cause parents were also not always home for dinner at 6. Still pretty positive that I could feed a family of 6 on 100/week- would all be from healthy and from scratch - usually not "what you want/sounds good" but there would be 3 meals a day.
#61
Stuff. My mom had (still has) a [lot] of stuff. I was baffled when I first visited a friend’s place and could walk around the house head on as opposed to shimming sideways time to time. It blew my mind. I was like, “Oh, they must be poor because where is all their stuff?” Wild.
#62
Parents taking all our Halloween candy and separating it into good and bad. Good got parcelled away a bit at a time, like once a week. Bad got saved for next year to hand out to the rest of the neighborhood.
StrangeOne 3 weeks ago
So, this isn't about separating the unwrapped bits from the intact ones?
#63
Have family members all over the world and everyone being multilingual. As 4 languages were taught in school I assumed every adult spoke at least 4 languages.
#64
The only pizza topping was pepperoni.
I was in college before I regularly ate any other pizza.
ILoveMySon 3 weeks ago
I grew up in the Midwest, US, which did NOT have good pizza. I always wanted thin crust with only cheese. My family teased me. I was overjoyed when I went to NY and had real pizza.
#65
Did you know there are families that TALK at dinner? Like, OUT LOUD? To EACH OTHER?
I did not.
Stardust she/her 3 weeks ago
Well everytime my family talks at dinner it usually ends with someone crying
#66
My family throws massive parties on Christmas Eve and gets obliterated. They also open presents at midnight and will literally drink until 6-7am. They’ll even have menudo ready for the morning hangovers.
#67
We were 6 people in a one-bathroom house when I was growing up, and while I don't really have many detailed memories, but there definitely weren't enough towel bars for 6 towels. Everyone would just come and go if you were in the shower too.
Lola Rocksmith 3 weeks ago
Yeah, same. Barging in, "what do you want for dinner?" "I'm going to brush my teeth, okay?" "Can I shower with you?" (My younger siblings would ask the last one)
#68
We cheered for each other’s farts. Apparently, that’s weird.
#69
Not an activity, but My mother called me a four year-old monster the entire year I was that age. In college I asked a classmate why that phase wasn’t mentioned in the child development book we were reading.
Huddo's sister 2 weeks ago
'Terrible twos' is a common phrase but I've never heard of four year old monsters.
#70
We, as young teenage girls, had a couple of distant members of the family who we were warned to steer clear of. I thought every family had a couple of those.
Child of the Stars 3 weeks ago
I definitely do. And while they weren't all biologically distant (basically the entirety of my dad's family), they were physically (they lived on the other side of the US). I met them just a couple of times while growing up, and I didn't know why until I was an adult (my dad refused to talk about his childhood. Turns out my grandpa was a grumpy, racist, sexist, drunk (and I suspect violent) b.astard, and after friending him (VERY briefly) on FB, I found out my uncle is very openly and unashamedly a member of the American N.azi Party. I have issues with my parents beliefs (they're fundamentalist Christians), but holy h.ell, I'm glad they're not quite that far gone.
#71
When my extended family gets together we start the party at 4, eat apps/snacks and drink for an hour or so, watch whatever ballgame is on, chat. Then we eat dinner. It’s always a buffet and sit anywhere you can find a seat. Many times I’ve been invited to someone’s house for dinner. I thought everyone had cocktail hour before dinner. No, they just go straight to the dinner table and the food starts being served in like 20 minutes.
Huddo's sister 2 weeks ago
My mum was (still is) always disorganised and running late. We ate snacks to settle our stomachs until the actual food was finally ready. For lunch people would arrive about 12pm and we wouldn't sit to eat until at least 2.
#72
We would always have great gatherings at each other's homes and everyone had to call the host to let them know they had gotten home safely.
We grew up in NYC and you would have people who had walked over, driver over, took the subway and my mom would wait until everyone had let her know they were ok.
When my grandmother would get home from the long walk to the next apartment building, she'd 'ring' once . If I accompanied her she'd make me ring her phone once.
We cousins and siblings all joke about it. But we always text now when we get home . Technology follows up I guess!
RomanceRadish 3 weeks ago
Calling collect for a fictional person, to let them know you've arrived home.
#73
Lying. My mother, I believe, could be diagnosed with NPD if she sought diagnosis. She would probably think these traits are a positive thing, though, because they serve her. So maybe she would not be diagnosed (Narcissism is only a “disorder” if the narcissist does not like how things pan out for them. She likes manipulating people to get her way, so I think she’d see it as a positive.) Anyway, I was in high school before I realized people communicate in words to communicate the truth. They actually trust and respect the people with whom they are speaking. It was so eye-opening for me. My first long-term boyfriend was entirely honest (and kind, thankfully). He taught me so much. I learned that it was just fine to not embellish, to not manipulate, to just communicate on equal footing. It’s also fine to admit when you make a mistake- respectable, even. I’m so grateful to have had those influences.
#74
Not having basically any semblance of relationship with your parents, I guess? I don't know what it's like to be raised by my parents because they divorced very early on in my life. I also don't know what love and showing romantic affection look like because apparently you're supposed to learn from your parents.
I really was shocked that people have good relationships with their parents. This reminds me of that episode in The Office where Dwight talks about how his mom is distant like an aunt while his aunt is close like a mom to him, that's exactly it.
#75
If you disagree with someone you yell. I was shocked to find out that you could have disagreements without verbally attacking someone.
Huddo's sister 2 weeks ago
This is something I found odd. People (especially Americans) saying 'never talk politics' because it would just lead to arguments. My family has always discussed politics or anything from the news, history etc, politely and calmly. We all have similar views, but when we do disagree, we just talk through why and if needed just agree to disagree. If I was gay or anything, I don't think I would have had any issue coming out because even if my parents didn't understand straight away, I would have just explained how I feel and they would have taken it on board.
#76
Getting absolutely plastered at every family gathering and starting fights, throwing furniture, getting the cops called.
Then I met my partner. Spent time with his family. They’re kind, sweet, care about each other, and actually enjoy being together. It’s so weird to have a family meal without the threat of violence.
#78
Powdered milk. I didn't realise that basically no one else used it, I even used it as a young adult because I didn't know that actual milk is delicious.
#79
Not as dramatic as other stories here -
In my family it was totally normal to peel down a banana half-way, break off half and fold the peel back over and put the other half back in the fruit bowl for the next guy.
My boyfriend had never seen anything like that before and later on told me how strange it seemed to him.
#80
The whole family's socks were kept in a basket hanging from the kitchen ceiling.
I dont know why.
Child of the Stars 3 weeks ago
I don't understand why you'd hang it from the ceiling, but my brother and his (now ex) wife kept a basket of socks in the hall closet. They and their kids all wear plain white tube socks, so they'd all just grab a pair every morning.
#81
Parents don’t blame their children for the filth in the house. Parents will fix broken toilets and showers. Parents don’t yell at their kids when they need lunch money.
#83
Fried squirrel and gravy isn’t a delicacy nor a staple in most family units.
#84
When we’d eat ice cream, it would be in a huge cereal bowl mounded over the top. Like 5-6 normal scoops. My husband pointed out that was excessive. I’d never thought about it.
#85
Not saying goodbye. Maybe an "alright" or an "I'm leaving" but no "goodbye" or "so long", etc....
#86
Smacking each other's [behinds]. My mom and sister and I all did it to each other and it was never weird, it was just something we all found funny. I thought it would be normal to do with friends to, but I went to a very small grade school and didn’t have any friends my age until I graduated and went to a much larger public high school.
When I started there, I smacked one of my friends' ]behind] while she was bending over to get things out of her locker, and she shouted and jumped up and spun around to stare at me in shock. I almost died of embarrassment, lmao I don’t think I’ve ever smacked [someone] since then. It makes me kind of sad though cuz obviously I respect everyone’s personal space and bodily autonomy but it’s something I did with people I was close too, and I wish I could with my friends.
StrangeOne 3 weeks ago
Just because it's "normalized" in your family, doesn't equate that to being invasive to everyone else. How does anyone not get that?
#87
Getting angry. Hate yourself. Everyone in my family is angry. For nothing, without a clear reason. It's mostly like that in my mother's family. On the other hand, some were at his funeral... In my father's, it's less common, but I visited them less. I had to learn to become less resentful. To make efforts to maintain relationships. It wasn't in my upbringing, but I tried not to reproduce such behavior. In my husband's family, it's the opposite: they never get angry. This is very surprising because certain things are discussed and thought about collectively and thus, situations of family breakdown are avoided. I prefer this way of working.
#88
My parent’s constant nagging each other and putting each other down.
It made me feel very alien when I was at friend’s houses where their parents got along.
Huddo's sister 2 weeks ago
My parents were separated, on and off, for most of my childhood. I didn't even realise they were sometimes, because they still lived in the same house, just separate bedrooms. So there was often nagging/snapping at each other, though they tried to keep it away from us. My dad finally moved out when I was 17 and it was pretty civil, I only heard them argue once, when they didn't know I was home and he arrived early to pick us up, and dad had just found out mum was dating my now stepdad.
#89
Birthday wishes-you hold your present over the birthday person's head and say this in a sing song way: "heavy heavy hang over thy poor head, what do you wish this person with a bump on the head?" They then make a wish for you before opening the present.
I have yet to meet someone else who does this. Not sure where it came from but we've been doing it my whole life.
Huddo's sister 2 weeks ago
I think Aussies are the only ones who encourage the birthday person kiss the nearest person of opposite gender if they touch the plate when cutting the cake. We also (older generations at least) sing 'Why was s/he born so beautiful' after Happy Birthday which is pretty weird.
#90
Just how I grew up in general. The screaming and fighting, lots of domestic violence, cops called and people getting arrested. Moving after being evicted. It honestly was not until my early 30’s when I sat with a therapist who asked me what my childhood was like. When I told her, her jaw dropped and explained how that is now average and was considered a very traumatic childhood. I’m still working extremely hard to work through those traumas.
#91
We ate our green salad after the main course at dinner time, at a friend’s house, it was salad before. Also, no drinks at any meal, always afterwards (I now know why, no spills).
Huddo's sister 2 weeks ago (edited)
If we had salad, it was either our main course, or eaten at the same time as the main, eg on the side of a plate of lasagne. Always had drinks with meals but we were only allowed one glass of juice a day so if we already had that, we had to have water or cordial at dinner time.
#92
Post-meal reviews.
I come from A Food Family. Some of us do it professionally, some of us are just hobbyists, but it's a huge thing for us both culturally and personally. After any "big meal", like for a birthday or holiday, we'll talk about what we liked, what we didn't like, how it can be done better or even just different. We haven't had turkey on thanksgiving in years, and I can't tell you the last time someone said "but it's tradition!" when it comes to certain dishes on specific holidays. We're doing lamb for thanksgiving this year, for instance. The closest we get to actual tradition is that whoever's birthday it is, they get to pick the meal.
After the first set of holidays with my husband's family, it became VERY apparent that no one had ever even considered commenting on or discussing the food in any sort of constructive way beyond "wow MIL, you can hardly tell there isn't a single grain of salt in any of these dishes! So healthy!". I'm not talking like, rip everything apart Hells Kitchen-style, but just like... Hey, have we considered not roasting the turkey until it hits 190°F at the legs? Or can we season the pierogi filling and possibly the dough so it doesn't bear a stunning resemblance to wallpaper paste with a hard shell? Nothing, nada, zilch.
That took some getting used to. Now I just annex holiday dishes every year so everyone can enjoy at least part of the meal.
#93
Gonna buck the trend and go with one of the lighthearted things: while most folks placed heavy emphasis on Christmas dinner, my family had Christmas Breakfast and very specifically with it was Chocolate Gravy.
Chocolate Gravy is, essentially, hot chocolate that's been thickened up and was then poured over biscuits and other breakfast breads. Everyone would think you added cocoa powder to regular sausage gravy and think it sounded gross, but everyone who's tried it has enjoyed it. 100% worth having to deal with Bible study and prayer and stuff before opening presents.
Huddo's sister 2 weeks ago
We did Christmas brunch a couple of times (couldn't be breakfast as my grandparents always went to 9am church first) and I made a really nice chocolate sauce as well as (iirc) a lemon one.
#94
Reading for breakfast. We’d always eat together, my parents with one morning newspaper each and us kids with comic books. They were laid out as a part of setting the table.
Child of the Stars 3 weeks ago
I wish. My family were (and still are) avid readers, but I was more so than the others (I realized in therapy it was a coping mechanism for depression and anxiety for me). My parents NEVER let me read at the table.
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TACO Don's Authentic TexMex 3 weeks ago
My parents weren't perfect but d**n I am always so thankful for them when I read these posts
Chilli 3 weeks ago
My parents didn't want me and my brothers to end up eating cold food so they'd just let us eat as soon as the food touched the table regardless of how many people were ready to eat. I once went to a friends house and when it was dinner I sat down, started eating, and had to be awkwardly told to wait for everyone else.
megabeth 3 weeks ago
We only waited for everyone at restaurants. Not at home.
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J Bruno 3 weeks ago
It's weird to me when I meet people who are close with anyone in their family. We have family gatherings but only for birthdays or major holidays. The rest of the time, we are basically strangers. I go months without seeing my mom, sister, and cousins. They all live within a 20 minute drive of my house.
TACO Don's Authentic TexMex 3 weeks ago
My parents weren't perfect but d**n I am always so thankful for them when I read these posts
Chilli 3 weeks ago
My parents didn't want me and my brothers to end up eating cold food so they'd just let us eat as soon as the food touched the table regardless of how many people were ready to eat. I once went to a friends house and when it was dinner I sat down, started eating, and had to be awkwardly told to wait for everyone else.
megabeth 3 weeks ago
We only waited for everyone at restaurants. Not at home.
Load More Replies... J Bruno 3 weeks ago
It's weird to me when I meet people who are close with anyone in their family. We have family gatherings but only for birthdays or major holidays. The rest of the time, we are basically strangers. I go months without seeing my mom, sister, and cousins. They all live within a 20 minute drive of my house.
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