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41 Things That A Close Person Said As A Joke But Not Everyone Around Was Actually Laughing
As you probably all know, good intentions are those bricks the road to hell is paved with. And how many times has it happened to us that we've paid someone a compliment, a simple witty remark, or tried to make a joke - only to end up with, at best, some awkward silence?
I don't know about you, but I've had this happen more than once, even though I sincerely consider myself a fairly polite and emotional person. So well, many netizens, wanting to please their interlocutors, have also sometimes stumbled with their words...
More info: Reddit
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#1
I was at a party and a girl asked me to pretend to be her date so another guy would leave her alone. We ended up having a fun time, so we went on a real date a couple days later. After the real date, she said, "you're a great fake boyfriend." She meant it as a joke to play off the fake-date experience, but it was still a terrible thing to hear at the end of a great date. (We've been married for years, and sometimes I call her a great fake-wife).
Jan Rosier 1 week ago
My wife had a row with her lifelong (+30 years) bff during covid about some stupid things the friend's daughter was posting (all organic antivaxxer, basically). Behind our backs, our marriage has been called a 'marriage of convenience' (although going on for 28 years now - and she's already been divorced twice and cannot keep a new relation together). So obviously, I often call her 'my dear convenient wife' - or vice versa.
RELATED:
#2
Happens whenever someone new meets my wife. She is better looking than I am. Just kinda objectively true. There almost always is some joking comment about how she is too pretty to be with me, or that I must have some blackmail on her, or that I need to work on myself so she won't leave me (I've had a long unlucky streak with my health that this is usually a reference to). Always said with a smile. Never funny to me.
#3
My favorite teacher in middle school was teaching a lesson on WWII and said “Do you guys know what Jews look like? They have dark hair and big noses, like [insert my name]”
I was never self conscious about my nose before that. FYI, I’m not Jewish.
Blue Bunny of Happiness 2 weeks ago (edited)
I’m guessing they were no longer OP’s favourite teacher. I’m also hoping that their antisemitic views mean they are no longer a teacher.
A few days ago, in the AskMen community, the user u/austerbear posed the following question to netizens: "Fellas, what's something a loved one has said to you that was supposed to be funny or playful but actually stung a little?" As of today, the resulting thread has over 9.6K upvotes and around 1.8K various comments, so it will be quite interesting to see what we have there.
By the way, the thread contains stories not only of unfortunate remarks from significant others, but also from friends, acquaintances, colleagues, and even just random folks and kids. As it turns out, people's perceptions of humor, or even compliments, can vary greatly - so please feel free to check out this selection made for you by Bored Panda!
#4
This happens all the time. People will ask what I'm doing now that I've graduated high school and I'll say that I'm working on a construction crew. Then they'll say something like "well what do you want to be doing?" or "don't worry, you'll find something better." I just kinda ignore it but it really gets to me. I absolutely love my job but so many other people see it as a low level degrading position. I even got that kind of thing from my mom a few times.
#5
My mates once bragged about how they went to a theme park and it was a ‘Craig free day’
I’m Craig.
Kinda funny I guess but it was still a bit... personal.
Michael Largey 2 weeks ago
If they had left out Ruth, just think of what their behavior would have been like.
#6
When my nephew guessed my age was 36.
I was 24 at the time.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 2 weeks ago
I know I had NO idea how to tell adults' ages when I was a kid (other than categorizing them as "young adult", "adult", and "old person", lol.) I remember telling my dad one time (after we'd visited his mom, my grandmother, in a nursing home) that I was planning on unaliving myself at 45, because people "got too old" after 45. I didn't even realize/think about the fact that my dad was 50 at the time XD so I was basically telling him I figured he was already 5 years past his "expiration date"... XD tl;dr don't take it too personally if a kid says they think you're 36 when you're 24. Kids are terrible at telling adults' ages.
Let's start with the fact that people have completely different ideas about what is funny (and what is not), what can be considered offensive, and what can genuinely be taken as a compliment. People have different cultural traditions, different temperaments, and, ultimately, different senses of humor.
Finally, people's emotional backgrounds can also vary. Some of us are able to read other people's body language and subconsciously notice the slightest changes in facial expressions - while others have no idea about any of this. Incidentally, with the development of modern technology, these skills are gradually becoming obsolete.
#7
Last night actually, at my close friends home he was trying to hook me up with this one girl. She's pretty and really nice, but he said "if it didn't work I understand, you aren't the most attractive one either."
It hit kinda hard since I broke up with my ex I have been questioning my own self-confidence. We did hook up so it felt a bit better, but it sting quite a bit still.
Edit: Ok now this blew up a bit more than I thought it would. I have some uppdate actually, so the girl have asked me to too out with her. And my friend called me today and apologized for what he said yesterday and that he didn't mean it in a bad way. So everything good. :).
#8
After I broke up with my ex, best friend told me “I was hoping it would work out, you’re kind of un-datable”. Pretty sure he meant it in jest but it hit deep since the relationship ended because a lot of my personal flaws that I haven’t been able to fix.
#9
I was playing board games with some people last week and another Dave was playing with us. This girl jokingly called me the "evil" Dave, and I have no idea why. I even said something along the lines of "how am I the evil one?", but didn't get a response.
Like, it's not even about being compared to one other Dave, but I try to be a good dude overall and when someone calls you evil and doesn't explain why...I just felt hurt inside.
Many researchers attribute the decline in people's emotional intelligence to the ever-increasing amount of time spent communicating on social media and instant messaging apps. Indeed, when you don't need to vary your voice to convey your emotions, when you don't need to "read" your interlocutor's facial expressions, emotional intelligence isn't really necessary.
And the interlocutor's face itself is often just a collection of pixels on a screen. But then, returning to the real world, people retain these communication patterns for real-life interactions, preferring, in fact, online communication.
For example, the authors of this study published back in 2018 claim that only 24% of teenagers surveyed considered people or human relationships as important in life, yet only 2.5% felt that community was important in life. So where, one wonders, would developed emotional intelligence skills come from in such situation?
#10
"You're not THAT ugly".
#11
My wife is not allowed to comment on my weight. I have always been too fat, lost a bunch over the last years but I'm still ~ 15kg away from my goal. I'm hyper-sensitive about this topic, though, and I can take insults from anybody else in the world by laughing it off but not from her. When she joked around with this a year or so ago, I almost completely lost it. "You're supposed to have my back. If you, of all people, make a joke of this, I can't deal with this anymore.".
Zig Zag Wanderer 1 week ago
Agree. I made a slightly similar mistake, although about both our weights. I'm not sensitive about it, my partner is and I didn't realise. I'll never do it again, obviously.
#12
"I'm not sure I can handle a whole weekend with you"
For context, this was said by my group of friends that I've gone through thick and thin with. Our friendship is one of those where we playfully antagonize each other from time to time. Whether it be poking fun at some new shoes or talking smack about a new job, it's always been for the sake of laughs.
One day we took a trip to the mountains since we rented a cabin and that's the first thing that's said as soon as we got in the car. We all laughed along and started ripping on each other, but dang did it sting a bit.
It didn't ruin the weekend by any means. Still had lots of fun chucking snowballs at my friends and whatnot. But those words hit a little different every time I think of em.
Zig Zag Wanderer 1 week ago
Try behaving more positively. See if it changes the dynamics. You may be surprised. I once complimented a friend in front of other friends. His surprise took me back. I realised I was always putting him down in company (and alone with him) humorously. He's an arrogant sod, so it's easy to do, but I wasn't doing him or me any favours.
But why do some people say something genuinely funny without offending anyone, while others, especially when trying to imitate them, seem completely weird and awkward? On the one hand, it may be a genuine natural talent and predisposition for humor.
"In addition to being skilled at toying with people's expectations, people who are funnier than most may exhibit qualities such as a willingness to take risks when making jokes and a sensitivity to how their attempts at humor are perceived," this dedicated article at Psychology Today claims reasonably.
Furthermore, experienced stand-up comedians have long since discovered a proven strategy for good humor that doesn't offend anyone. Simply laugh at yourself - and then it's unlikely anyone will take even the most offensive pun personally. At least you know exactly what's offensive to you and what isn't.
#13
Anything about my teeth... Couldn't afford braces growing up😔.
HangryHangryHippo 1 week ago
This one hits close to home, I totally get it. It took a lot of effort and saving and I was finally able to have them as an adult, wishing the same for OP 🤗
#14
I asked why my girlfriend wanted to be with me.
She replied that’s she’s afraid of change.
I was hurt a little inside.
#15
One of my (former) best friends once recoiled and went, "UGH! GROSS!" when someone asked if we were dating.
UKGrandad 2 weeks ago
A couple of years ago a newish neighbour totally blanked me when I saw her in town. A couple of days later she stopped me when I was walking past her house, apologised for not speaking and explained that she hadn't wanted to make things awkward because the woman I had been walking arm-in-arm with wasn't my wife. Her face was a picture when I told her that the 'other woman' was in fact my daughter. My daughter found it hilarious when I told her.
Anyway, we're quite confident that reading this collection of stories, if it doesn't do you any favors in terms of developing your emotional intelligence, will at least make your time a tad bit more interesting. So now, please feel free to read this list to the very end, and maybe add your own related tales in the comments below - in case you have something to say of course.
#16
My dad got drunk one time and i know he was trying to be endearing but he said
"even though i know your never going to amount to anything, i will always love you"
and here i am at 32 with a s**t job living in his shithole house.
Betty Spaghetti 1 week ago
Which is worse: this or, “I know you’re going places, but I will still never love you”?
#17
I get knocked everytime my girlfriend mentions that despite my success so far in life I am a University drop out. I mean it isnt a big one but everytime it gets brought up it stings a bit...
She works in a school and uses me as an example that you don't have to go to University to do well in life but it's not the kind of thing I like to be lauded for...
Devin Schmitt 2 weeks ago
Drop out? I flunked out, as I could not pass a math class to save my soul. I eventually became an auditor, go figure.
#18
Friends have been calling me "Egg" for years now, because of my head shape. I'm over it at this point, but this started in the early stages of my depression and it was hard to kick those thoughts at first.
#19
I’d had a lot of trouble with toothaches and other dental issues.
At a family gathering we had all ordered Chinese with an assembly of foods to pick as you like. I went to grab a rib, to which one relative piped up, ‘you don’t want to bite into that, not with your bad teeth’.
That happened about 14 years ago and I still feel the upset. Glad to say my teeth were all repaired though and are in fine order! 😃.
#20
Whenever a close friend teases me for being mixed ethnicity. 'Half' this or that. It stings because I have a lot of trauma about it. I was treated differently by my extended family, othered and considered less than. my identity always questioned by people.
#21
I have an abnormally high metabolism. For years I’ve tried to gain weight with advice from various nutritionists and protein diets and I’m still 20 lbs underweight. My mother, father, step mother and step father always playfully say I’m “too skinny” or “Oh you really need to eat more”. It gets especially worse around the holidays. I tell myself that I’m used to it, but every time I hear it, it still hurts. The older I get and the (seemingly) less progress I seem to make, the more it hurts to be called “too skinny” as if I have an eating disorder.
I love myself for who I am and am always trying to become the best version of myself I can be, physically, emotionally, mentally. But hearing this from the people I love the most cuts deep.
Edit: a word.
Eastendbird 1 week ago
I'm skinny, always have been. One time I was introduced to someone new while out. A friend made a comment about how I love my food but don't put on weight. New acquaintance then said "Oh god, couldn't you just slap her!" I was just 😲 😲 😮.
#22
When I let out my real laugh it sounds like the Batman theme song, "Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na." You get the gist, always happens when someone says a good joke and my Na Na's come out. One person always points out I have a weird laugh, and then I'm stifling myself the rest of the night.
#23
“You wouldn’t get it because you’re an immigrant”
I knew she meant it as a joke but I’ve always had trouble understanding who or what i exactly am. I feel dissociated from both cultures in some ways and that joke just kinda felt like a slap in the face to all of my efforts to assimilate.
#24
My brother once jokingly said "good luck being painfully average. With you average looking wife, good but dead end job and locked into a mortgage for the rest of you life". Unbeknownst to him my biggest anxiety is being unremarkable/ average and just making up the numbers for the rest of my life. the comment rattles round my head daily.
Norfolk and good 1 week ago
Absolutely nothing wrong with being average and getting up to go to work everyday, paying your bills, looking after your family, shopping, cooking, cleaning etc. A lot of people have blown their whole life apart in a desperate attempt to be "remarkable" and ended up alone and miserable.
#25
I had a epileptic seizure and my girlfriend said she will leave me now, jokingly.
#26
I sing and play guitar. I’ve always been told I have a good voice. I myself think it’s okay, like you’d enjoy it around a campfire but I’m not gonna get a record deal or anything. My ex drunkenly told me she thought I was a bad singer. It ruined my confidence. That was about five years ago and I still think about it every now and then when I sing, even alone. She used to say a lot of hurtful things drunk without realizing it.
Brian Droste 1 week ago
People speak the truth of what is in their heart when they are drunk. Their inhibitions are lowerd.
#27
My husband said I had big ears almost 30 years ago. I still think about them when I put my hair in a ponytail.
#28
My then partner, after explaining to me all their big plans and life goals and how they were going to change the world and wouldn't settle for less, ended with: "and then there's you. You just want to be loved." as though the grand summary of me is a lonely one half of a couple, and I'm that easily dismissed, and they were entirely right.
Nod along & save my existential crisis for later. Still not entirely sure if I'm some malfunctioning person for not having aspirations?
Edit:
I firmly believe that (as per the title of this thread) they meant no harm by it and were genuinely just trying to convey a difference in our life goals as they saw it. It just hit very close to home and stuck with me that perhaps having a small selfcentered aspiration made me a smaller more selfish person. After all, finding love and contentment isn't going to end government corruption or feed starving children.
I've been assured (thank you all) that this isn't the case.
To anyone else who relates to this: you're not less valuable if you don't need to change the world to feel complete. Chase your happiness and try not to hurt anyone. That's about all there is.
#29
Female here- I told my fiancé he looked like Woody from Toy Story. I could tell it stung after I said it but now he says “you’re lucky you get to be intimate with the sheriff for life” sooo he’s my Woody.
#30
My ex drunkenly said my roommate/good friend was very attractive. Normally that wouldn’t bother me, but the fact that she never gave me compliments hurt me for the entire night that night.
#31
“I think you’re going to go bald soon”. Now I think about it on a weekly base.
#32
Was called a little girl because of showing my soft side.
#33
My sister once said "whoever thought thatdude would be the bread winner out of us?" That was a little over a decade ago. Egg is on her face though, I'm still the least successful out of the three us! Oh wait..
#34
Anything about my nose at all, I learned to live with it but every once in a while someone pokes some fun about it and I feel the biggest oof inside.
#35
When I got Roasted by my teenaged son around a campfire while visiting an old family of friends. I grew up with this family and they knew my boy since forever. Hes always been shy until that night. I was proud that he opened up like he did but it was at my expense, although the things he was saying my friends already knew about me.... it just hit differently hearing my faults as a father And a person out loud from the boy I'm trying to raise Not to be me........
Jan 1 week ago
If your shy kid feels comfortable enough around you to roast you, you definitely did something right. Or extremely wrong. He’ll tell you when he has kids at the latest. Never really felt I had much complaints about my upbringing, until I had kids myself. Not saying my parents did everything wrong. Definitely not, but I do have a bunch of issues that seem to boil down to my childhood and those are feelings I sincerely hope my kids will never have to deal with.
#36
My mother growing up was always going to school and trying to remake herself. When I was around 16 I realized she was always telling people and myself she never wanted to make the mistakes she did with me with my brothers. Like constantly to the point that I heard that line daily for years. If I told her to please stop saying it she wouldn’t. She couldn’t understand that it implies I was always a mistake.
To clarify for people. My mother was undiagnosed bi-polar disorder and went to rehab like 7 times . Money was never the issue except for over spending. She was and is a dr of pharmacy. Even with the rehabs bc she self reported when I was like 20. My brothers are 14 years age difference.
alchemilla vulgaris 1 week ago
I know this is from Reddit, and OP won't see my answer. But maybe the mistake their mother did when bringing them up was gritting her teeth and carrying on instead of asking for help, because "a good mother puts herself second"? Or try to impose a particular parenting style? Mistakes made when bringing up a kid aren't necessarily referred to the kid themselves
#37
Well I'm 19 skinny asf (~110lbs) and every one I've met always enclosed their fingers on my wrist and try to go up as far as they can. I'm not hurt about it, it's that I've had it happen so many times.
Zig Zag Wanderer 1 week ago
I've only recently understood that my hands are massive .I didn't really think about it before, because I'm a big chap. Now I do a lot, but in a good way. My daughter actually got cutlery made especially for me for my birthday. They're absolutely gorgeous !
#38
Anything that's something they don't realize is important to me. For instance my dream is to be a racecar driver, but I still have a lot of doubt in my abilities. Whenever someone makes a joke about my driving I'm hurt a little because it brings out my own self doubt.
Zig Zag Wanderer 1 week ago
I'll tell you how to make a small fortune in racing: Start off with a large fortune!
#39
In private she would praise my size and skill in the bedroom, with friends would make little remarks to the opposite.
at first I thought she didn't want her girls friends to hit on me, but that gets old and painful fast.
Sly Schlang 1 week ago
I would always be loyal but discreet. I mean really it's nobodys business, so... If someone asks how partner is in bed: In bed? Oh, we should try this, good Idea. Up to now, we never got there cause we just rip each others clothes off and so I can only say how much I love the Shower, kitchen table, living room carpet, window sill, ...
#41
I had been talking to this chick for a while, and things were fairly serious at times. I had to work a lot one day and she texted me saying she was bored and I needed to hurry home. I said "Aw, you missed me, huh?" And she said "I missed your c**k, after all, I'm just with you for really good s*x."
I've had a lot of one night stands.. and a lot of women that just wanted to be f**k buddies and nothing more. Not to mention I lost my virginity at 14 because a 25 year old chick d*****d my drink.
Being nothing more than a sexual object, especially to someone you really like, doesn't really feel all that fantastic.
What do you think ?
reuben kift 1 week ago
Yeah, I've definetly gone through something like this. Quite a few of my "friends" would would say awful things in the frame of jokes. Like, if you don't like me, fine. We don't have to be friends. I'm cool with that. But don't insult me, jokingly or not, then try and act as though what you said wasn't insulting by trying to play it off as "just a joke".
jwm8h95dfj 1 week ago
I had a classmate tell me after an exam “oh I didn’t expect you to do so well, I was certain that you’d fail.” Still hurts even tho it’s was almost 3 years ago
Mreoww 2 weeks ago (edited)
My friends and I, when we were young teenagers, were talking and walking and just hanging out. They mentioned some tuition or coaching thing that I’ve never heard of, so I asked them about it, and they were quite surprised I didn’t know it. They could have left it there and just told me what it was, but instead they didn’t answer my question and joked about how art seemed to be the only thing I knew anything about. That hurt, especially because there are other things I’m good at besides art.
kkrq2vk4tm 1 week ago
Some how somewhere along the way people forgot the old adage "sticks and stones will break my bones but words will neverhurt me' and it's true, nobody has the power to make you feel anything if you chose not to let them, if a person says something and it hits home it's because you chose to let it
Binky Melnik 1 week ago (edited)
I gather you don’t read the “family” posts. Parents often beat the overloving hell out of their children with words. I was physically beaten, a LOT, but what sticks with me were the words. Decades of therapy and some things I will apparently NEVER get over or out of my head. (On a daily basis, I’ll drop something and say “You goddаmn fool!” because that’s what I heard when I did something entirely unworthy of comment and my brain seems to feel I need to remind myself that when I drop a fork, I’m a goddаmn fool, or I bump into something/one I’m a goddаmn fool, or if I overshoot when changing channels, I’m a goddаmn fool. I’ll take ALL the beatings; just please don’t remind me that I count for absolutely nothing in your life.
Load More Replies... reuben kift 1 week ago
Yeah, I've definetly gone through something like this. Quite a few of my "friends" would would say awful things in the frame of jokes. Like, if you don't like me, fine. We don't have to be friends. I'm cool with that. But don't insult me, jokingly or not, then try and act as though what you said wasn't insulting by trying to play it off as "just a joke".
jwm8h95dfj 1 week ago
I had a classmate tell me after an exam “oh I didn’t expect you to do so well, I was certain that you’d fail.” Still hurts even tho it’s was almost 3 years ago
Mreoww 2 weeks ago (edited)
My friends and I, when we were young teenagers, were talking and walking and just hanging out. They mentioned some tuition or coaching thing that I’ve never heard of, so I asked them about it, and they were quite surprised I didn’t know it. They could have left it there and just told me what it was, but instead they didn’t answer my question and joked about how art seemed to be the only thing I knew anything about. That hurt, especially because there are other things I’m good at besides art.
kkrq2vk4tm 1 week ago
Some how somewhere along the way people forgot the old adage "sticks and stones will break my bones but words will neverhurt me' and it's true, nobody has the power to make you feel anything if you chose not to let them, if a person says something and it hits home it's because you chose to let it
Binky Melnik 1 week ago (edited)
I gather you don’t read the “family” posts. Parents often beat the overloving hell out of their children with words. I was physically beaten, a LOT, but what sticks with me were the words. Decades of therapy and some things I will apparently NEVER get over or out of my head. (On a daily basis, I’ll drop something and say “You goddаmn fool!” because that’s what I heard when I did something entirely unworthy of comment and my brain seems to feel I need to remind myself that when I drop a fork, I’m a goddаmn fool, or I bump into something/one I’m a goddаmn fool, or if I overshoot when changing channels, I’m a goddаmn fool. I’ll take ALL the beatings; just please don’t remind me that I count for absolutely nothing in your life.
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