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Netizens Discuss If And Why They’ve Lost Respect For Their Parents, Here’s The 28 Best Replies
Interview With Expert
Parents and kids often don’t see eye to eye. They often seem to have disagreements about how to behave, what to believe in, and the right way to do things. This can lead to larger conflicts that end up making the children feel extremely disconnected from their elders.
This is what many people have come to feel as they’ve grown up. It’s hard to realize that you’ve lost respect for your parents, but for many of the folks in this list, that’s exactly what happened, and they shared what led them to feel like that.
More info: Reddit
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#1
Yep. In my case becoming a parent myself made me lose any lingering respect I had for my mother. Turns out it's actually shockingly easy to not be ab**ive trash and to not treat your kids like s**t.
Nice Beast Ludo 10 months ago
The first time I held my son in my arms I knew my mother never loved me
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#2
Saw this somewhere else but it rings true AF. “Fox news did to our parents, what our parents thought video games would do to us”.
TribbleThinking 10 months ago
Oh wow, mind blown. That's a new and very valid concept to me. Thank you!
#3
Nah, my folks are dope.
Edit: I showed this comment, and some of your responses, to my mother when I visited her earlier. She got all teary-eyed and gave me a big hug. Thank you for the wholesome moment, random strangers on the internet ❤️.
Respect is not given, it’s earned. This is exactly what many young people feel today. Rather than holding their parents in high regard just for being their caretakers, the youth seem to be questioning why they should give respect just for the sake of it.
To understand more about this phenomenon, Bored Panda reached out to Camilla Miller. She’s a parenting expert at Keeping Your Cool Parenting, dedicated to helping people enjoy family life and build deep, connected relationships that last a lifetime. Camilla offers practical guidance on raising confident, independent children while fostering mutual respect and harmony at home.
She said: “In recent years, I’ve noticed a shift in how young people perceive their parents, with respect not always being a given. Many parents grew up in a time when authority wasn’t questioned—you just did as you were told. But today’s kids are being raised in a world where questioning things is normal.”
“Kids are growing up learning to think for themselves, so if parents expect blind obedience without explanation, it’s bound to cause friction. Respect goes both ways, and parenting today is about guiding, not just controlling,” Camilla added.
#4
They are like teens now, anti vaccines, don’t believe in doctors, fights everything that moves, stop talking to you for the stupidest reasons… it started around their 50’s and its rapidly getting worse.. so yeah.
#5
I’m not mad at them. I’m just disappointed.
#6
My dad hasn’t spoken to me in almost three months, after he screamed at me in a restaurant in front of my daughter, aunt (his sister), and my grandma (his mother). He was mad my aunt and I were discussing abortion laws, especially pertaining to MY PREGNANCY.
I miss my dad. Or rather, I miss who I thought he was.
Many of the posters in this list mentioned that they didn’t like the hypocrisy of their parents, and that’s what eventually affected their relationship. As they became older, they realized that kids were always told to listen to their elders’ words and not to follow their actions. This is because parents would end up doing the exact things they cautioned their children against doing.
There are so many other reasons why kids might stop holding their parents in high regard. Camilla Miller said that things like “parents not listening to their children or dismissing their opinions can lead to a breakdown in respect. When [they] are unpredictable or don’t follow through on promises, it can undermine trust.”
“Parents who aren’t emotionally present or supportive may cause children to feel neglected. Pressuring kids to meet high expectations without understanding their needs can breed resentment. Lastly, parents who are dishonest or betray their child’s trust can cause long-term damage to the relationship,” she added.
#7
Everything bad they ever said about us was projection about them. The older I get I'm like you spoiled entitled old mfers.
Binky Melnik 10 months ago
Am I the only one who can’t speak to my dad anymore because he remembers EVERYTHING differently? He’s 94 (and my mom is dead), lives in another state, and he says the *strangest* things because he remembers everything sooo very differently from how it happened that I end up just staring at him slack-jawed. When I speak to him (which is once a year, if that), he’ll say things I don’t even know how to respond to, like “Bink, do you realize I’m the only real friend you have?” (How on earth would he know? And why does he think we’re friends at all?) Or “You botched that job by not being subservient enough, and for feeling you knew more than they did.” (What job? Subservient to whom? What did I “botch”? Who did I feel I “knew more than”?) He’s also taking to bragging *every single time we speak* that “he only hit me that one time,” to which I respond every single time “What it when I got tar on my hands at the Moody’s? Or when I was dancing with Gladys Knight and the Pips at the Culver’s?”
#8
I'm actually really impressed with my parents. They've gotten more progressive as they've gotten older.
Their siblings, otoh? Oh, no, those people are terrible. I hope they get their comeuppance. My cousins are 50/50 on the decency scale.
OzymandiasTheManokit They/Them 9 months ago
this reminds me of my mum! when I was going through some sh*t as a 12-13 year old, she didn't try to understand as often as she does now. i'm still going through some sh*t, but she's going through it with me! love ya mum <333333
#9
‘Actions have consequences’ is what I heard constantly growing up.
Which usually meant ‘do as I say or I will punish you’.
Now that I am holding my parents to their own standards… it’s ’let’s just rug sweep this and pretend it didn’t happen because I don’t remember it, tee hee.’
So yeah… we don’t talk.
Michelle C 10 months ago
Yup; sadly, my dad turned out like this. I’ll be ready to talk when he is ready to tell the truth about the physical and emotional abuse he inflicted on my sibling and me when we were children. If he refuses to acknowledge, repent of, and make ongoing amends for what he has done as appropriate, I can’t have a close relationship with him because that would not be an authentic father-daughter relationship.
It might feel like all doom and gloom to see your parents in this new light. Nobody wants to lose respect for their mom or dad, especially because it can affect their relationship with them. That’s why it’s important to first understand that our parents are people too, and they tried their best with all the resources they had available.
Camilla explained that “as we get older, we start to see our parents as real people, flaws and all. We realize they’re not perfect, and that’s a good thing. Over time, we’re bound to clash on opinions, beliefs, and even things like politics.”
“One of the best ways to handle it is to just agree to disagree. You can both be right in your own way! And as kids, we can also help our parents see that some things they did or said in the past might not fly in today’s world. It’s about creating a space where both sides can share, learn, and respect each other’s views,” she said.
#10
Cut all contact with my mother about a year ago.
I have two kids of my own now, one is 6yo and the other is 6 months old.
I hadn't put much thought into the way my mother treated me as a kid, until I had kids myself. Now, I look into my sons eyes and think about how much they mean to me... And then wonder how the hell she could have ever treated me that way.
It all came flooding back and I just couldn't maintain the relationship.
#11
Yeah my parents are trumpers and it’s extremely disappointing to see how their beliefs have shifted so much over the last few years.
Ripley 10 months ago
To me, it feels like many older people (I'm mid 50s, so older than me) moving further and further right wing in their politics is climbing the ladder and then pulling it up after themselves. They've worked hard and sacrificed to get where they are, but they refuse to believe that things are different now, and what worked then no longer does.
#12
Both my parents are extremely high achievers and make it look easy. They are great people and do a lot for the local community. So my respect for them has only grown. The only problems I have is the daunting task of trying to step out from their shadow as they cast it quite long.
Parents and kids often clash on sensitive issues like politics, religion, their beliefs, and values. As many of the folks in this list shared, having such disagreements with their parents is exactly what pushed them to lose respect for them. Moms and dads might also feel this way, and wonder why their kids are out to cause so much trouble for them.
That’s why Camilla explained that “parents need to remember that children aren’t extensions of them; they’re their own people with opinions, likes, and dreams that deserve to be heard and honored. Raising kids isn’t about control; it’s about guidance. When parents respect their child’s individuality, they create a foundation for mutual respect.”
“Respect can’t be demanded—it’s earned. If a relationship is strained, the best way to rebuild it is by showing respect first. Listen without judgment, apologize when necessary, and treat your child’s feelings as valid. When children feel seen and valued, they naturally reflect that same respect back. It’s a two-way street, and it starts with us as parents,” she shared.
#13
I surpassed them in maturity in high school, surpassed them in political awareness by college, and now in my mid-30s i just keep growing and evolving and they’re still the same as they were ten years ago. I know it’s natural for each generation to go beyond their parents but it’s weird how they’ve just stagnated their whole lives.
I don’t hate them, but I do resent them a little. I recently gave up on trying to get them to budge on things. They’re too stubborn and too good at avoiding confrontation. I have to accept them as they are. When they’re ready to ask questions, they’ll be ready for answers.
#14
My parents are peak boomers, and honestly, pretty aware of how good they had it. I've made sure they understand how things are different for our generation and possibly even worse for the younger generations coming up. If you ever want to talk to your parents about how stuff is different, do what I did. Look up the current rental price of your parents first apartment. Then look up the current wage for the job they had at the time.
I'm not mad that boomers had it good. I just want to make sure they understand that pulling on bootstraps doesn't fix the housing crisis and cost of living.
Sue User 9 months ago
I do fell sorry for the generation that are coming after me: economy shite, authoritarian threat, real possibility of drastic changes due to climate. But as beware points out, older generation dealt with c**p too. I remember my Mom telling me how she felt when they finally turned on the street lights in London after the war. She said it looked like a fairy tale.
#15
Yep, and it has made it harder to accept my kids positive views of me. Whenever they tell me they think I'm awesome or "the best ever" I think about how I used to feel that way about my mom, and it makes me worry I'll make them feel as disappointed in me as I am in her now.
Every person would love to have a good relationship with their parents, and that can be possible with a little bit of effort from both sides. Parents need to realize that their kids can have their own opinions and thoughts, and children need to recognize that their parents are also capable of making mistakes.
It’s not easy to forgive, forget, and move on, but if the bond is precious, then maybe it’s all worth doing. What do you think?
#16
Yeah, my relationship with my dad was never great but now it's gone.
But he has dementia now too so it's not like he notices how disappointed I am in his positions and ideals later in life 🙃.
#17
Yes, my parents have become increasingly obnoxious and egotistical in their old age. .
TribbleThinking 10 months ago
I suppose that that's one advantage of having a truly awful parent to start with - my mother has merely remained obnoxious whilst my ability to deal with that has increased dramatically.
#18
They set high standards for us but then failed to meet those standards as they aged. So yes they lost much of my respect.
#19
Yeah my logical and responsible mom for the most part is wildly maga now and it's really sad.
#20
I feel like I’ve given up on my dad. After a lifetime of criticism and blatant favoritism towards my sibling I’ve had enough.
Having my own child brings back memories and makes me rethink stuff he did not only back then but more recent as well. So yeah some loss of respect.
Heather Menard 10 months ago
My mother literally told me she should have never had me and that she didn't have the energy to raise two kids. So she choose my sister.
#21
I would somewhat say its more like disappointment. My parents seem to still view the kids as "kids" and don't respect us as adults and parents. I can understand its difficult for them to make the transition from parents to grandparents may be difficult but they try to do too much parenting. Same thing with our professional lives. They don't seem to lend any respect to the fact that we're growing, learning, and evolving in our careers the same ways they did.
Anna Drever 9 months ago
I’m early sixties and I’m still a child to my parents. I get that they love me and are proud of me but their opinions count more than mine, apparently.
#22
My parents do not take care of themselves or their house and don’t hold themselves accountable for…..anything. They are only getting worse with age. And I can’t even bring up with my mom how she has negatively impacted me. All she does is cry and say “you just had the WORST childhood didn’t you!?”.
My dad just had a heart attack and had to get a valve replaced but still drinks a s**t ton of Carlo Rossi sangria because it’s the color red and he thinks red wine is good for your heart. 🤦♀️…..so yes I have no respect for them. Do I love them and try to accept that they did the best they could?? Yes. I’m honestly the most patient with them out of me and my brothers. Do I visit often? No. And I feel very very guilty about it.
#23
My in-laws are exactly this. It’s hard on my husband. Many of my friends are struggling with the same situation. Thankfully, my parents are not this and I feel extremely fortunate.
#24
Yep. They’re not the same sane, reasonable people that raised me to be sane and reasonable.
#25
I love them, but I don't *like* them. I can thank them for introducing me to that line, though.
Jay Scales 9 months ago
My mum has gone now, but I used to think that if she wasn't my mum I would still love to have her as a friend :)
#26
They should be renamed the “Lead Pipe” Generation because their brains are degrading so much in old age.
Tina Girard 10 months ago
Read a scientific journal that estimates that those born around the mid -20th century had so much lead exposure that this country lost approx 154 million cumulative IQ points And now everything is blindingly clear.
#27
I’m disappointed and mad, but not surprised. My dad has always displayed the kind of behavior stereotypical of a boomer, and it’s just gotten more concentrated the closer to death he gets.
They were bathed in an idealism that said it’d serve them, and then they can’t sunk cost their way out because it feels like it’s too late and the only option is to double down hoping it works out so their kids stop hating them.
Irene Bucior 9 months ago
Wow, a stereotypical boomer? What exactly is that? I’m 72 and I’d like to know . Just an old hippie here.
#28
Yep! No contact with everyone, grandparents and parent siblings included.
What do you think ?
greenideas 10 months ago
As we get older, neurodeneneration is inevitable. I'm not trying to be mean, just stating a fact - my brain can't do the same things at 40 as I did at 12. Genetics and environment plays a role, of course, but if we live long enough, it will happen to everyone. Having taken care of my grandmother with dementia, I see some similarities with the posts here: lack of empathy, stubborness, lack of curiosity, intolerance, anger, manipulation...You become a completely different person and it's scary. Please don't misunderstand me, some people can live easily into their 90s and not have diagnosable dementia, but in my non-expert opinion, the loss of grey matter impacts your personality for many people as they age. On the other hand, some people are just lousy their entire life.
Earonn - 10 months ago
My mother and aunt became very much anti-refugees. Repeated every s**t you would read in shitrags (think the German paper version of Fox). Refugees and immigrants (basically the same to them, if they weren't white) were all rapist. My aunt said that to me when I was an immigrant in Britain myself. And know what? They both came to Germany as refugees after WWII. I lost every ounce of respect or goodwill I had left. My great-grandmother died on the street, their own grandmother. But still they couldn't bring up a bit of empathy for others in the same situation. They suffered in life, but now I think that was nothing but early punishment for their nastiness.
greenideas 10 months ago
As we get older, neurodeneneration is inevitable. I'm not trying to be mean, just stating a fact - my brain can't do the same things at 40 as I did at 12. Genetics and environment plays a role, of course, but if we live long enough, it will happen to everyone. Having taken care of my grandmother with dementia, I see some similarities with the posts here: lack of empathy, stubborness, lack of curiosity, intolerance, anger, manipulation...You become a completely different person and it's scary. Please don't misunderstand me, some people can live easily into their 90s and not have diagnosable dementia, but in my non-expert opinion, the loss of grey matter impacts your personality for many people as they age. On the other hand, some people are just lousy their entire life.
Earonn - 10 months ago
My mother and aunt became very much anti-refugees. Repeated every s**t you would read in shitrags (think the German paper version of Fox). Refugees and immigrants (basically the same to them, if they weren't white) were all rapist. My aunt said that to me when I was an immigrant in Britain myself. And know what? They both came to Germany as refugees after WWII. I lost every ounce of respect or goodwill I had left. My great-grandmother died on the street, their own grandmother. But still they couldn't bring up a bit of empathy for others in the same situation. They suffered in life, but now I think that was nothing but early punishment for their nastiness.
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