When the whole world decides it’s a perfectly sunny day to turn against you (and trust me, it happens way more often than you think!), there's little you can do about it. You can sit in denial, go into a full breakdown without a return ticket, or you can laugh your ass off through staring straight into the depths of your pain.
In fact, there’s a whole online community dedicated to this coping mechanism where people share examples of self-deprecating humor. No wonder it’s such a huge success! Created in 2016, the r/2meirl4meirl subreddit has a whopping 1.3M members who come here for a daily fix.
I mean, if we cannot fight that pain, at least we can sit right next to it and have a good laugh at each other. So scroll down and upvote your favorite posts!
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Their DIY skills are pathetic because the Boomers DIDN'T teach them!
A growing body of research has suggested that laughing during difficult situations may help to ease our pain and distress. In order to find out how that works, we reached out to Jennifer Williams, the founder of Heartmanity, which provides people with support and vital skills needed to create a healthy and thriving life with relationships that enrich and uplift us. Heartmanity provides groundbreaking skills and programs based on brain science and 30 years of experience.
Jennifer explained that an ability to laugh during painful or difficult situations requires resilience, which is an emotional intelligence ability. “Humor and laughter during tough times don’t mean that we are not taking our lives seriously, but rather, laughing acts like a release valve on a pressure cooker.”
Moreover, “This resilient mindset stems from innate confidence in ourselves to handle life’s curveballs and challenges successfully. The quality of our life is not about what happens to us; it’s about how we interpret and respond to our experiences,” she explained.
Hard work, persistence, and never giving up... The things that arrogant toxic-positivity personal development life coaches tell you to do so you feel more miserable and buy more of their books.
Moreover, growing your inner optimist and practicing mindful optimism trains our brains to see the good even when things go awry. Jennifer said that in this way, we start seeing the world through a new lens. “Laughter and humor are wonderful ways to release stress and reset our perspective.”
When asked whether self-deprecating humor can be seen as a useful coping mechanism, Jennifer said that since she believes that we need self-compassion to be at our best, she’s not a fan of self-deprecating humor as a coping mechanism. “In my experience, when a person uses this kind of humor, they tend to be avoiding the reality of what is happening (evading tough emotions like grief or anger) and can be neglecting to take responsible action.”
Even though poking fun at ourselves is a healthy part of humility, the founder of Heartmanity believes that since deprecating means “to belittle or cheapen,” this type of humor can backfire, so you have to be careful. It may cause us to “feel more overwhelmed and less equipped to handle what we are facing in life,” Jennifer warned.
Me : "I'm depressed." Therapist : "Well, don't be." Me : "I don't pay you to sound like my parents!" Therapist : "You don't pay me, you are French."
“On the other hand, science shows that gratitude helps to alleviate stress, offsets psychological disorientation caused by unexpected suffering, and increases positive emotions and a sense of well-being. Therefore, regularly practicing gratitude is a far more effective strategy for stress.”
Jennifer concluded that “through appreciation, we keep what is most important to us top of mind, and then we can better stay encouraged in difficult or painful situations.”
How to get a restraining order, how to find the worst retirement house in the world...
Yeah this happens. Recently referenced something that happened regularly in my childhood and mom reacted like it was totally new information.. Hmm
:( Kinda heartbreaking when they act like they don't remember ain't it?
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EVERY TIME. My parents (mostly mother) are master gas lighters. "I never said that"... "I don't remember that." ... "What are you talking about." ... "You like to bring up lies just to make me look bad".... - and then... when you reveal proof (because somehow, somewhere you managed to record something somewhere or manage to get a corroborating witness............) it now becomes "Yeah, you have to let that go. What do you expect me to do? Keep being sorry for it? You obviously have issues with holding a grudge. That makes you a bad person and a terrible child."
Ugh, horrendous. This is why I get so frustrated when people make blanket statements like 'parents always want the best for their children'. Really not true. Most might, not all by any means.
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You're remembering wrong, but I'll ask your sister if she says it happened then it did 🤦♀️
My mom asked me about the scar on the back of my head. I said "That's from when I fell down the stairs at the house in Dayton when I was two. I got eight stitches." Mom, "You never fell down the stairs." Me, "You're the one who told me about it."
Parent: "it's because of your dad (or mom), when he did, or that or this" (as a child of divorced parents which traumatized each other) - their problem/trauma is always more important than that of the child.
Sister is a family lawyer - does a lot of divorces. She would 100% agree. Very rare that the parents put the child first despite always claiming they're going to.
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I HATED when my mom said that she did her best and wouldn't admit that she wasn't a perfect mom. No parent is perfect and we need to admit that. As my kids got to their early 20's I asked them to tell me what I did wrong so I can admit it and ask forgiveness, or talk about why I did it. Have a great relationship with all my kids.
In all fairness, there's a lot of stuff I don't remember these days. It's really bizarre when someone brings something up that actually happened, I literally cannot remember it.
My sons did this to me, I still don't remember any of it. But, I did not put them down for it. I believed them.
Isn’t this called “gaslighting“?? When a parent will deny if they punished you in a certain way as a child (especially if the punishment they inflicted would be considered abuse today), denying it so strongly that it makes you doubt your own memory. Sad to say that I’ve endured this... 😥
Dad got black out drunk so he legit didn't remember when the Hulk came out, and mom frames her physical/mental/emotional abuse as our fault for being bad kids who didn't clean their room. To my fellow folks overcoming childhood trauma, it isn't your fault! (HUGS)
Ah, gaslighting. I didn't know it was a thing until I was 47 and thought there was something seriously wrong with me because I didn't.... couldn't love my mother.
Funny is my mum has several memories she feels must have been traumatizing for me and my sister (one being the time we went on school trip and she forgot about it and didn't gave us money to spend, she feels bad about it to this day, we almost forgot it and it never realy bothered us) and we are not. And vice versa, of course
I feel like the current, if guilty, expert on this issue. I went through this with my own mother, and we just let it go, not trying to figure out who was 'wrong' or what happened. Now that I'm the a**hole parent, three of my four adult kids 'abandoned ship' thinking I'm a liar. Now I've lost them to something I don't even know when it happened or where. Any tips on how to make it better would be welcome, but my kids don't want to hear about it any more. Ever. They all still want to be in the will, though (true, but it's kind of funny in an ironic way LOL.) On the plus side, I remember even Jesus said, "Father forgive them, they know not what they do.' Yes some of us as parents were evil or mean, and some of us were just dumb and confused. I'm sorry for all of you here and wish that would help ease your pain. I'll shut up now.
The only advice I can offer is to listen. Say 'I want to hear your side' and shut up and let them talk and seriously listen. Maybe you are wrong, maybe they are. Maybe it's half and half. If you were wrong, apologise. Then maybe you can start again. If all they are there for is the money - well, it's your money and they haven't earned it just because they're your offspring no matter how bad or good you were. Not easy. I do wish my parents had listened though.
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Things like this make me feel so lucky that I have parents who believe me and support me. Many others are not so fortunate.
This sounds... oddly familiar. On the other hand, they still hold grudges over an argument you had when you were 6yo...?
Yep happened to me a lot with one of my aunts, she'd buy birthday presents for my brothers ( they're twins ) there birthdays are 2 days before mine and they'd never get me anything. I was about 8/9 and it made me feel so s**t like I was adopted and not a ' proper family member '
Or they start laughing and tell you that this didn't happen; then call other family members saying "can you believe she claimed..."
Screw those guys. I have a near PERFECT memory and they can't even remember what they had for breakfast.
I told my mom she forgot my 5th birthday in front of her friends so when she denied it they could see what a lifelong phoney a-hole she is, was and always will be.
When I was 6 I had OCD, it lasted 2 years. I've hide it as much as possible but it was still obvious if you paid attention. I figured out my mom never noticed 😂
Not an excuse for your mom, but we were a lot less intelligent than our kids; and with less information available. And as for myself, I would have had no clue what to do. I love seeing how much better younger generations are as parents!
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I just like the way it makes my skin tingle on a cold morning. The fact that I live alone has nothing to do with it. Probably.
Same... I hate being a people pleaser only to forget to take care of myself
Looking at little screen, reads this, looks up at big screen...aw snap
Signed off work. Now have lots of weird and witchy hats that make people smile. And clothing colours that resemble an explosion in a paint factory.
Coping mechanisms are the only things that keep you alive. My favorite ones are denial and rationalization.
Comparing yourself to others is the best way to become unhappy. Thats why people love Instagram so much. It brings a lot of easy accessible misery in your life.
Looking at the way things are going in the world today, this might be the wisest thing to do.
That's just the doctrine that all governments use. "Your personal interests are not important to our society." also "Climate change happens because YOU drive a car."
Still better than "pull yourself up by your bootstraps and count your blessings".
and for each 7 year old doing that, there is probably a few thousand 7 year olds working in dangerous mines and jobs in unspeakable conditions ,
I broke down crying on the toilet once and punched the wall so hard I injured my knuckles, and even at the time some part of me was thinking "Wow, this is right out of a movie."
Surface level intelligence is a level of intelligence that's way beyond the reach of a lot of people on social media.
I hate when people insist on calling. We have a shitty reception in this village (apparently cows arent a good substitute for an antena). So the few times that I get the calls I barely understand them. People thinks that my flemish isnt good enough but I hava exactly the same speaking spanish with my family. No matter how many times I tell them to contact me via email a lot of places (like my psychiatrist) keep calling.
Geez. Human life is completely shite. Such tragedy to be born in a human body while being farthest thing from being human. One day I will be free
"I'm the captain of the Millennium Falcon and my name is Han Alone!"! You're right: That doesn't work!
Ha ha ha this is me in a nutshell. The only problem is it keeps working for me. I keep getting promoted yet I am a complete mess inside. I really am the epitome of fake it until you make it which just causes me even more anxiety
Me yoo, but for some reason they were offended when I told them that I just wait in my room to avoid seeing them.
Wonder what emoticon was used initially. Can still see a tiny bit at the top.
Gordon Ramseys temper is fuelled by the love and passion he has for cooking. Which proves that if you do something with a passion, you have the energy to strive for perfection. It also explains why so many companies manufacture such crappy products.
That hair reminds me of the gender swap filter(transparent?), but I feel like I'm probably wrong coz I know I need glasses soon 😅
As i understand from the comments we are many little sad bored pandas around here :(
I feel that many if not the majority of people have mental illneses. But since it is a taboo in our society we all think that we are all alone in this :(
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I find a small measure of comfort with my fellow pandas. Big hug to all. One thing a day and one thing at a time.
We aren’t alone, we may feel it but feelings aren’t facts. Putting the phone down and going in nature is the only thing that helps me. My depressed brain says isolate and zone out on screens but getting exercise and seeing the blue sky is what our brains need. I wish everyone hope and joy ❤️
i was going to coment on all the ones I relate to, but i didn't want to comment on all of them
I frequently wish I could be 'normal' for any given definition of normal. Physically I hurt like I'm a 90 year old, I'm so overweight because I'm in so much pain that it's causing more weight gain, my brain hates me, it makes me feel like everything I do is wrong and inadequate, I have zero energy to do anything but the bare minimum to keep myself clean and my clothes clean.
Can't all sad bored pandas meet up and have fun the rest of their lives?
That was really good to read.finally...i m not a spoiled brat who plays cheap drama at 37. Thank you❤🖤
I don't understand,honestly after all these discoveries,inventions and all these efforts to make a civilisations,are we all collectively becoming depressed and existential as a society?Is this really all our own faults like our brains tell us or is this just the algorithm of life you know pain - eee-pain-eee. Those eee s are me pretending to smile.I hope you're happy.
I (partly) blame TV and movies containing fake perfect living and happy endings that give us unrealistic expectations and make us feel like we don't measure up if we don't buy all the carp they're selling us to make us sexier, smell "better", feel special by getting the "next big new thing", etc.
Load More Replies... Hugs out to all my fellow sad pandas using our weird sense of humour.
This post reminds me of an old Monty Python skit where folks were complaining about how hard their lives had been as children, each participant trying to one-up the previous one. "Every day we'd have to get up at 3 a.m., two hours before we went to bed, and lick the driveway clean..." Was there some kind of prize in the offing for who could sound the most pathetically miserable?
The world doesn't revolve around you. Learn some empathy.
Load More Replies... As i understand from the comments we are many little sad bored pandas around here :(
I feel that many if not the majority of people have mental illneses. But since it is a taboo in our society we all think that we are all alone in this :(
Load More Replies... I find a small measure of comfort with my fellow pandas. Big hug to all. One thing a day and one thing at a time.
We aren’t alone, we may feel it but feelings aren’t facts. Putting the phone down and going in nature is the only thing that helps me. My depressed brain says isolate and zone out on screens but getting exercise and seeing the blue sky is what our brains need. I wish everyone hope and joy ❤️
i was going to coment on all the ones I relate to, but i didn't want to comment on all of them
I frequently wish I could be 'normal' for any given definition of normal. Physically I hurt like I'm a 90 year old, I'm so overweight because I'm in so much pain that it's causing more weight gain, my brain hates me, it makes me feel like everything I do is wrong and inadequate, I have zero energy to do anything but the bare minimum to keep myself clean and my clothes clean.
Can't all sad bored pandas meet up and have fun the rest of their lives?
That was really good to read.finally...i m not a spoiled brat who plays cheap drama at 37. Thank you❤🖤
I don't understand,honestly after all these discoveries,inventions and all these efforts to make a civilisations,are we all collectively becoming depressed and existential as a society?Is this really all our own faults like our brains tell us or is this just the algorithm of life you know pain - eee-pain-eee. Those eee s are me pretending to smile.I hope you're happy.
I (partly) blame TV and movies containing fake perfect living and happy endings that give us unrealistic expectations and make us feel like we don't measure up if we don't buy all the carp they're selling us to make us sexier, smell "better", feel special by getting the "next big new thing", etc.
Load More Replies... Hugs out to all my fellow sad pandas using our weird sense of humour.
This post reminds me of an old Monty Python skit where folks were complaining about how hard their lives had been as children, each participant trying to one-up the previous one. "Every day we'd have to get up at 3 a.m., two hours before we went to bed, and lick the driveway clean..." Was there some kind of prize in the offing for who could sound the most pathetically miserable?
The world doesn't revolve around you. Learn some empathy.
Load More Replies...