If you’ve ever ventured into the dating arena, and at some point we all have, you’ve probably either done it or had it done to you, or both. Yup, we’re talking about ghosting — a deep urge to cut off all communication and vaporize into thin air — which has been a part of the modern dating vocabulary for years.
This simple, silent adieu can strike daters at virtually any time. You might realize you have nothing in common by the end of the third date. Or you may discover there’s literally zero chemistry between the two of you right before the three-month mark. But as it turns out, sometimes all it takes is one rude, infuriating, and straight-up creepy conversation.
Several days ago, user Bock314 reached out to the women of 'Ask Reddit,' inviting them to share the things men do that make them "ghostable." And as soon as the responses started rolling in, their tales show just how bad things can get. Women opened up about the wild situations where men went too far, which made ghosting seem acceptable, healthy, and even necessary. We’ve gathered some real-life stories that tick all the boxes for what you should never do while pursuing love. So continue scrolling to check everything out, and don't miss the chat we had about ghosting with Canada-based dating coach Sally Heart.
Psst! After you’re finished with this list, take a look at our earlier pieces featuring men making questionable decisions right here.
This post may include affiliate links.
I met a guy at a bar once. He seemed like a nice guy and we exchanged numbers.
The following week, he asked me out. I told him I couldn't that night, but I was free tomorrow.
Why? He asked. I told him I had a funeral tomorrow morning and just didn't feel like going out. "What time is the funeral?" he said. "I won't stay too long, please I really want to see you..."
He wouldn't take no for an answer, and to me that is a HUGE red flag. I ghosted him after that.
when someone asks "why" it is just a red flag. You don't have to justify. If you can't you can't. Whatever is the reason...
The last guy I went on a date with before I met my husband comes to mind. This guy and I clicked pretty fast and had a wonderful all-day adventure as a first date. He lived 1.5 hours away from me.
We were messaging for a day after the date and everything seemed to be going well. He then asked if I wanted to meet him that weekend for his friends' New Year party. I told him sorry I had plans to go to one with my friends, but I'd love to meet up the next day.
After about 10 minutes he called me. I answered all happily, thinking we were going to plan the next date. He sounded pissed and said forcefully, "You're not going with your friends to that party." "......um. why not...?" "Because other guys will be there. And you're with me." "Hey you know, I enjoyed our first date but I don't think this is going to work. " "YOU F*****G B***H. YOU'RE NOT EVEN THAT HOT ANY..." *click.*
He starts sending apology texts and after 3 back to back, I blocked and ghosted. Ew.
Had a blast at my party!
Went out on a coffee date with a guy. He admitted that he placed a GPS tracker in his ex's car to track her without her knowledge.
Immediately no.
I BRIEFLY dated a man who was driving by/stalking his latest EX when he wasn't with me. I thought he might do this to me when he gets his next girlfriend -- a never ending cycle for him . . .
To gain more insight on the topic, we reached out to dating coach Sally Heart who aims to help women build the necessary mindset and strategy to find and attract the love they truly deserve. Being the creator of a free online dating safety course called Safety Hacks for Online Dating that’s designed to keep women safe from the dangers of online dating, she was more than happy to share her thoughts on the matter.
Knowing the ins and outs of the dating pool, Heart told Bored Panda that sometimes finding yourself in unfortunate situations comes down to bad luck, a lack of awareness, or a lack of seeing the warning signs that could’ve prevented these scenarios to begin with.
When you've known them for a whole 10 minutes and they're already making sexual comments.
This is the standard today it seems. I don’t understand why they think that’s okay. It’s creepy, predatory even.
Being rude to the service staff. There is no excuse for it, and it means you are just an a*****e.
Any hint of violent tendencies or general anger management issues. Immediate block, not dealing with that. If I feel threatened, your feelings about being ghosted do not supersede mine of feeling safe.
Scary ones are the ones that are nice in the beginning, then some time in, their true behavior/ characteristics come out
But as you’ve probably noticed from the examples featured in this list, nightmarish dates are all too common. A 2020 study by Pew Research Center found that around one-third of women using dating apps have been called an offensive name. And, alarmingly, six-in-ten women under the age of 35 reported men continued to pursue them after they said they were not interested. That’s double the rate that men experience.
"Often dating horror stories and tragedies happen when a woman takes herself out of public space and into a private one, where the man is in control," Heart explained. "The key is to be aware of potential dangers so you can avoid them completely."
If you’re able to pick up the signs beforehand, "the worst-case scenario becomes just a bad date who was rude to the waiter or made you feel uncomfortable with his presence or conversation — not such a horror — just a regular bad date."
Talk about how they treated their exes, children, and employees in a way that demonstrates they are clearly controlling and toxic w/o realizing it.
If he isn't wholeheartedly and actively supporting abortion rights and bodily autonomy then that would be it for me.
Telling me you like me better with X or you’re glad I don’t do Y like some girls. Complimenting me by putting others down is a no for me dog.
But how can you know that a guy sitting in front of you is capable of such awkwardness, rudeness, and discomfort? Well, dating coach Heart was eager to offer some of the most common red flags women should look out for. Or consider ghosting if they’re already present.
"If the creep factor is there, like weird or insidious comments that make you feel uncomfortable or even scared, things that cause a genuine concern for one’s safety, it’s enough to make women want to ghost."
"Other men are just so overtly rude or despicable that women don’t want to have to explain or even deal with the fallout of saying 'I’m not interested,'" she added. "Many of us have seen how rejection can escalate bad behavior from men, which is why some women feel safer to simply ghost."
Send unsolicited nudes and still have the audacity to ask if I want some of it
Back when I worked night shift at the hospital. Guy I was newly dating wanted to hangout that night before my shift, around 5pm. I tried to explain that I would be sleeping until my shift, and that 5pm was like 5am to me and I did NOT want to hang out. He didn't get it. He proceeded to ignore my wishes and let himself into my apartment to "surprise" me by tickling my feet while I slept. I definitely ghosted him, and also changed the locks.
Why on Earth did he have access to your apartment if you were "newly dating?"
Giving attitude or guilt trips before even meeting. Had one guy who when I didn’t respond fast enough to his liking started in with the ‘ok well I guess you don’t want to talk then’ passive aggressive comments. Instant no.
Yes! During my VERY brief time using online dating apps, I had a guy get really upset with me because I wouldn't meet him to go hiking during the height of the pandemic. Sorry bro, I have relatives who are dependent on oxygen and I can't risk making them sick for some rando from Bumble.
Of course, ghosting is an easy and not-so-scary way to cut all ties with your date — way less daunting than having a frank conversation or typing out what’s on your mind, as well as your heart. In fact, getting ghosted is now simply a fact of life in the modern dating world. A survey by the dating site Plenty of Fish found that 78% of single Millennials — people on the site between the ages of 18 and 33 — have experienced it at least once.
The second a guy suggests I'm upset just because I'm on my period I am gone.
Call me nicknames like “sweetheart” or “baby girl” when I’ve never met them before.
One guy texted me after our first date that he wanted to put me in a pokeball so he could keep me forever and only take me out when he wanted me… and then texted a load of abuse when I didn’t reply immediately (I was trying to figure out wtf to even say to that!)
So yeah, that.
As a Pokemon fanboy growing up, I wish I could have walked around with 6 friends surrounding me rather than in their Pokeballs. That monster deserves to be charred by Charizard's Fire Blast... Smh...
But as anyone who's been on the opposite side of the fence knows, being ignored hurts, is confusing, and leaves you with countless unanswered questions. "It’s always recommended by me to be upfront and tell someone that you’re not interested," Heart noted.
"That said, if a woman is genuinely concerned and creeped out, it may be best to just block a number and move on. This is especially true when someone has been threatening your safety in some capacity," the coach suggested.
Making demands thinking they’re being suave or manly(?)
I went out for a drink with a guy once. When the bartender came by, he ordered some drink for me that I knew I wouldn’t like. I said “No I’ll have-“ and he just interrupted me and said “NO, you’re drinking what I ordered you”.
Another time, an old friend found out I was going to be in his town and sent me a message saying “ok we’re going to hang out”. I was going there for a funeral so I said ‘no, I won’t have time and don’t feel like it’. He wrote back “LOL no we’re hanging out, you don’t get a say”.
I end up never speaking to them again.
To be fair, on the second story i'v done that to friends and they to me, never was an isue, if the other person can't he/She just hás to say it " no dude i really can't, " and that is it, we do it as a joke, not as a comand.
Negging or other forms of “c’mon, I’m just joking” forms of devaluation. I have absolutely no tolerance for it anymore. Men if you are reading this and you do it, understand it is a form of emotional abuse and you are giving off abuser red flags.
Not respecting boundaries. Instant no.
i had a “boyfriend” who was telling everyone he was going to kiss me. i didn’t want to do that since i wasn’t ready and he still kept trying. broke that one off immediately.
Even when we all know that the online dating game is not for the faint of heart, and we have all experienced a simply disastrous date at some point, the dating coach wanted to remind you it can also be fun and lead to wonderful and even long-lasting relationships. "Don’t let one bad apple ruin the bunch, so to speak. The best thing to do is to learn how to do it effectively and safely."
"The main thing to remember is that these men are strangers and should be treated as such in the beginning. I advise anyone to take my free safety hacks online dating program to be sure that they are safeguarding themselves from risk to personal safety and scammers," Heart concluded.
When they come on strong sexually from the jump.
Years ago when I was on tinder men would message asking if they’d correctly guessed my bra size before even saying hi.
Or they’d ask my favourite sex position, or if I swallow, or if I’m flexible, or if I thought I could handle their d***s.
Like Jesus Christ what would compel anyone to respond to messages like that?? From someone apparently 1km away from me? Of course I’m ghosting.
And blocking.
And reporting.
Any man that thinks this is OK needs to think about how they'd react if they found out their little sister, mother, aunt etc was sent unsolicited sexual messages, and then had others saying she's fair game because she's on a dating app?
I had the worst experience with online "dating". Put me off sex for a good two years. So gross.
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I think these are men who spend all their time on porn sites and have no idea what real-life women are like.
Yup. They come across as oversexualized and egoistic because well, that's how most porn looks like. For example no woman in real life dream of giving you a blow job just like that without nothing in return but in porn that's "real life" because mainstream porn is always from a male perspective (and fictional obviously).
Load More Replies... I've never been on Tinder but isn't it for hookups? Although even if it is it's still really vile to start talking like that, respect goes a long way..
Yes, it's classless. And so is going on an app for one-night stands and hookups.
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Unless she's a virgin, she can handle you, buddy. 🙄 I'm so sick of men thinking their part is so big that women are actually intimidated or scared of it. This isn't a thing for women. We can birth babies, so maybe think twice before thinking you're all that. Men like this disgust me. The only person impressed by their "size" is them. We aren't living in a porno movie. Women don't gasp when you disrobe.
I know! When I worked in retail, I had a guy ask for large condoms. As I showed him where they were, he told me he had a 12 inch d**k. He said most women were intimidated by it's size. I told him to get Magnums.
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I know right. And you'd think women would be more accepting on a hookup app.
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Personally, as a man, I would like to ask if you want to snuggle up listening to the rain, and that hard lump you feel on your butt is my (empty) wallet and my car keys
Years ago, I was on a fortunately-now-defunct dating site in the US. I received an email from a guy claiming to be a "Middle Eastern prince," who seemed very proud of the fact that he liked sex more if the woman *wasn't* willing--he openly told me he *preferred* it if the woman refused his advances. He was much more graphic about it, but fortunately I've forgotten most of what he said. However, it alarmed me so much that I forwarded his email to the dating site's customer service team. They apparently decided to look through my email history too, and because they decided that, in their opinion, I'd *also* been "rude" to several other members, not only were they kicking the "Middle Eastern prince" off the site, they were kicking me off the site, too. NGL...
I've never used it because I thought it was kind of seedy, but I thought tinder was SPECIFICALLY for quick hookups? Isn't that what you're on there for? Do you really expect dudes to be anything other than slimy and gross on a website meant to meet up with someone you don't know hookup and never speak to again?
Men apparently never change. Back in my day (god I feel old now) men used to say that to your face! You "ghosted" them by walking away looking like you had smelt something bad and ignored them all night. Ugh.
For every 5 women that this creeps out is one who is just fine with it. At least you know they just want to hook up instead of going to your house after a nice spaghetti dinner and ghosting you the next morning after youve bared your soul. Is a covert creep better than an overt one? If a man wants a real GF, they dont do this.
The one women that is ok with that behavior is the toxic one of the group
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No, it is not the purpose of the app. The purpose of the app is to find a date, not a "F**k buddy" No app is safe from this. some people are disgusting
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I got covid and had to cancel a date. I sent him a picture of my two positive tests, just to reassure him it wasn’t anything he’d done to make me cancel. Honestly he’d seemed a bit insecure when we’d talked prior to this and instead of heeding that red flag I had just offered him reassurance up to that point. He said he had a crappy ex who made him feel insecure and I felt some sympathy for him. Well, he accused me of not being interested and faking covid to get out of a date with him. As if I wouldn’t just tell him the truth and cancel? We’re in our 30’s.
I think he thought I was going to fawn all over him and beg him to hang out or tell him it wasn’t really covid or something. But instead I called him out on his sh**ty behavior and he quickly tried to backpedal and say he was just kidding (he wasn’t. It was obvious.) I left him on read and ghosted. He happened to see me on a dating app about a month later and tried to hit me up like nothing had ever happened. I ignored him.
The funny thing is, is that he had to cancel our original first date planned the week before because of a work commitment and I was totally understanding about it. S**t happens. Guess he couldn’t extend that same courtesy to me when I got sick.
Another red flag I ignored was him telling me that “girls don’t want nice guys like me, they want bad boys who treat them like s**t and that’s why I’m single, I’m too good of a guy to them.” Ugh. Glad I ghosted.
Persist in asking me “what are you wearing” every. single. f*****g. day.
Clothes, ok buddy? I’m wearing f*****g clothes.
When they only compliment you and don't let the conversation flow. Example
-You have the most beautiful smile
-thank you, you too. How's your day?
-you look sexy in that pic
-haha thanks, I see you like playing the guitar, how long have you been playing
-Your eyes are like....
Like goddammit cut the b******t
i’ve ghosted guys that have had crazy road rage while in the car with me. if you scream and curse at the top of your lungs and hit your steering wheel etc just because someone didn’t merge fast enough for you I don’t want to be around you lol.
Spamming you with messages. Anything past 5 in a row is creepy
I once had a guy spam me with 300 voice notes when I went on holiday and couldn't be on my phone 24/7.
I hate how people think that just because you have a cellphone means you have to be available 24/7. NO! F that
I was on a date once when I was much younger where I realized the guy was manipulating and lying to me in order to have sex with me, and pushing my physical boundaries way too much despite my very clear protests (e.g. "I'm not going to take my shirt off." Then the guy sticks his hands up under my shirt). It took way too long to convince him to get away from me so I could leave, while having to be polite out of fear of what he might do in retaliation. I sincerely feared I was going to be date r*ped. It was a shame because we'd actually been having a fairly nice time up until then.
So... yeah, that. Naive go-with-the-flo even felt bad about not returning his texts for a while.
EDIT: Oh, just remembered this fun nugget he dropped while trying to pressure me into going further --- "But that's what fun girls do!" Bro.
thats what fun girls do how did that not convince you seriously though what a cockwaffle
Being dismissive of creepy behavior among their friends. I recently separated and went out with some girlfriends when I met a seemingly decent guy who shared my nerdy interests. He was out with his friends too, and one of his buddies crossed several lines with mine. The Creepoid snatched my friend’s phone and immediately started messing with her settings/contacts, then he stole her drink before offering her another. When I mentioned this to the guy I was talking to, he just brushed it off like… “yeah, he’s just like that.” Ok then, we can’t hang out unless everyone feels safe. Bye.
ETA: This should be considered a gender-neutral standard to avoid creeps, it’s not just for women. This particular story is simply told from my perspective. Everyone be safe out there and look out for your friends!
Yeah, I used to try and make sure I don’t ghost people because I felt it was “more mature”.
WRONG. I’ve had guys go absolute postal even after only talking for a month. I’m talking insults, threats, using multiple numbers, using their friends accounts to talk to me, etc.
If I have ANY indication that you cannot handle rejection; ghosted.
I was messaging with a guy who had asked for my number. I was trying to get to know him by asking him basic questions and trying to engage in conversation, but he kept turning the conversation back around to how beautiful he thought I was. I appreciate a compliment, but if all a guy is doing is complimenting me and not actually trying to get to know me, then it is clear he just wants to get in my pants.
One of the reasons I ended an actual relationship is because of overcomplimenting. Every other thing he said was a compliment to me. It was sweet at first, but it quickly became draining, and the compliments lost all meaning and sincerity.
To summarize: Occasional, genuine compliments are nice. Excessive overcomplimenting is annoying at best and creepy at worst.
Someone that doesn’t try to maintain a conversation with you. Like you’re basically talking to yourself.
When you can't say anything to them without them trying to make it into sex talk (when you're in the getting to know each other stage).
If you say you're just going to hop in the shower and they start getting excited, asking to join, sending winky emojis.... I'm out.
Disrespect. If a man continues to call you a “pet name” because he thinks it’s cute even after you’ve politely asked him to stop? Bye.
Assumptions. They make you seem really controlling.
"I bet you only like guys who go to the gym. You're probably one of those people who orders appetizers. You probably only go to the club on the weekend. You probably believe in astrology. "
Context matters, but to just come out and say some things makes me second-guess myself, which is the first step to controlling my behavior.
I had a guy over to hang out one day. He put an Adam Sandler movie on the tv and kept asking me if I liked it. I said, “not really” and he just kept playing it and intermittently asking if I liked it.
After the movie ended he wanted to do karaoke, so he pulled up a Frank Sinatra song and sang at me… it was uncomfortable.
After the awkward “karaoke”, we made out for a bit and he asked me if we could f**k. I said no, and he replied “well I’m not even attracted to you anyway, you just looked like you wanted to f**k”.
He then gave me unsolicited advice on how to get rid of acne.
We sat in silence for a minute before he asked me, “do you want to debate politics? What are your thoughts on abortion?”.
After he left I immediately blocked/ghosted him.
When they get too intense, let's say I'm talking with them for a week and they already telling me I'm the love of their life, the most beautiful women in the world, that they love me are huge red flags for me. I feel like they like me for what they want me to be and not who I am. How can you know all this after knowing me for a week? I get suspicious when they get too intense.
* Treat me like I’m auditioning for the role of your wife/surrogate mother (Asking if I can cook, clean, stay at home right out of the gate)
* Treat me like I already am your wife just because I showed interest in you
* Assume that I’m obsessed with marriage and babies just because I’m a straight woman (If you’re a commitmentphobe, say that, don’t blame me)
* Insult my intelligence
* Insult how I look
* Immediately suggest that I must correct something you don’t like about me.
* Immediately act possessive and try to interrogate me about other men in my life (I can’t ‘cheat on you’ if I’ve only met you once)
* Call me bitter, crazy or resentful for just acknowledging that I’ve had relationships before
* **If my gut senses that you’re a threat to my wellbeing**
I sing in bars and clubs. Any man I meet there tells me I can quit and stay with them. No, I LOVE performing and don't want to give it up to do your dishes and laundry. They are already planning my life . . .
If he makes me feel unsafe in any way...NOPE. Making r*pe comments, spiking of the drink comments, kidnapping comments...My favorite one to date was: "I could fit you in my pocket and nobody would even know!"...Um...no thanks....I'ma just go crawl out the bathroom window now...(never actually did that but definitely thought about it)
Anyways...I don't date so I don't have to ghost people. Problem solved!
Not being able to carry a conversation in person and text. Just because you ask me how I'm doing 5 times a day doesn't make you a cunning linguist.
We were joking about poop (I don't remember what) and somehow he brought up the idea of sending me a picture of his sh*t when he woke up in the morning. I told him that would be disgusting and don't do that or I won't talk to him again. Then I get an actual photo of his morning sh*t the next morning. Dude, I warned you. Gross.
When they decide to freak out on you because you spent the day with your parents and your kids for a national holiday instead of with them. Then when you tell them that you 100% don’t owe them an explanation and they’re suffocating you, they follow that up with “no I’m sorry I love you I’m sorry”
Bro. 🚩🚩
P.s. you have only been seeing this person for 3 weeks
Ghosted and Blocked.
I start to ghost when I feel like they aren't putting any effort in, one word replys, acting disinterested, most men don't like being treated exactly they way they are treating you.
Eh…some people aren’t always available despite having a phone. I forget I have one when I’m working because I’m fully invested in what I’m doing. I had to buy a watch that connects to my phone because I’m so bad at follow up (I have children and my husband sometimes has legitimate questions) but people will usually get one word replies from me until I’m free to talk. I’m a woman btw, so it goes both ways. Rather than ghost, make a plan to talk when you’re both free. Some people feel rude (myself included) if they don’t reply when they see a message despite being busy. I’m a one word reply person if I see it and need to reply, or I just ignore it until I have time to answer back. Maybe I’m biased because of my own norms, but this doesn’t seem like a total red flag. Maybe it is in some cases 🤷🏻♀️
Putting you on the pedestal as soon as you meet, acting needy, constantly praising you.
Refer to women as “b**ches” goodbye 👋🏼
Insult my people.
I can say what I want. I've known my mom for nearly 40 years and can call her crazy all day long if I so choose. If you call her crazy you'll be lucky if ghosted is all you get.
So, if someone agrees with you it's okay to ghost them? Don't talk bad about your family and then get mad when the person you're dating has your back.
Saying, “my family calls me C-los” his name was Carlos and celos is Spanish for jealous.. I think he thought he was being cute but if your family’s nickname for you is jealous, my guy.. you have some issues.
“What’s your kink?” Funnily enough, my kink is ghosting people who ask what my kink is.
When they keep criticizing you. In the first few interactions, criticism comes off very badly. I ghosted a guy last week because I said 'haha' at the beginning of a message during a conversation, and he said, 'Just say LOL.' He already had one strike, and this just sounded so controlling. Why does it matter how I 'laugh' in a message, and why does he feel he gets to tell me to change it? So I just noped out.
Woe is me parade. When they feel like you are a therapist and explain their life story of why a woman won't touch them. Or they pull the "I'm not x y and z, cause apparently that matters now" shut up! I swiped on you for a reason, obviously, you passed the "I find them attractive enough to start a conversation with" stage. When you go into why women suck and how you don't fit the attractive scale then I'd like to leave.
Glad my swiping days are over, dating sucks.
Objectifying people, being too pushy.
Not accepting *no* for an answer
I had a date tell me he was into adult breastfeeding. And was interested in making food with breastmilk. I ghosted him.
Creepy messages or creepy in-person behavior like coming on too strong. I’d rather block you than risk my safety or be accused of leading you on.
there should be an in-person block option so you don't receive any dialogue from your chosen ghostee.
Sending a message then 2 minutes later sending question marks then a couple more minutes later sending "hello??". Bye b***h lol.
Giving even the slightest hint that they see women as accessories or house maids or anything other than individuals for that matter.
Weird my issues was not here. Always wondered why a blind date sees me and runs to car and drives off. Now I will never know
I met a guy once where I was living (I approached him) and we went on a date that evening.
He showed up with his friend to be the DD, no big deal to me, happy to have a DD and to get to know the guy with another person around. Felt safe.
He started acting a little weird on the way, but I figured he was just nervous.
We got to the resturaunt and he sat next to me, and angled his chair away from the table to look directly at me. I had mentioned a few times like "hey, you can like... face the table and still talk..?" But he wanted to talk face to face.
I was sitting on the inside seat, with my right side to the wall so it was very weird.
Eventually we ordered food and when it arrived, he was STILL facing me but NOW he was telling me that he was "starviiiing" so I was like "well, the food is here so that might help you out?" He never ate at all, and took his food to go.
Once we left, which was pretty quickly after food arrived because I was just done with this dude, we got the the apartments and he had to pass me in the hallway to get to his room. Instead of just going to his damn room, when I opened my door he FELL INTO THE OPEN DOOR and crawled to my bed and told me that he felt sick and wanted me to lay down to cuddle him to feel better.
I was kind of just standing there, shocked and staring at him, told him he needed to leave.
He refused and told me he was just in so much pain and needed me to cuddle him.
I asked him if he was *really* in pain, and acted concerned
He said yes, that he was. I was like "alright, then I'm calling security and you're getting an ambulance."
That evening my friend/coworker was actually standing security that night, and I knew she would throw his a*s out.
So as soon as I said that he literally jumped from my bed and left to go to his apartment.
I locked the door and ghosted him, for obvious reasons. I think he was on drugs and took to much or something, he was acting VERY, VERY weird.
He later told me that I was like a dumpster fire for ghosting him, and I was like "well at least I'm not a literal dumpster unlike some people"
He's married with children now, so that's interesting.
Put truck nuts on their jetta. Unironically
- Start texting constantly, even if you don't reply much
- Questionable attitude towards race, immigration, LGBT, etc
- Jealousy
- Take meaningless things too personally
- Incel vibes
Ghosted one last night actually!
We met on a dating app, went on one date, was really fun, we hooked up.
He’s not after anything serious, all good.
Then he gets pissy that our texts are “boring” and then accuses me of being angry when I say I don’t want to get into the whole sexting thing.
Sex on first dates just happens sometimes if the mood/vibe is there.
It doesn’t mean I’m now your personal wh*re to get you off when needed!
Bye buddy!
When they respond with ‘oh so you mean (blah blah)’ and say something completely opposite of what you were describing.
Like I’ll tell guys I like fashion and makeup, and they’ll respond with ‘oh so you’re shallow and vain?’ Just.. bye
Well, I was talking with this guy, let´s call him T. He didn´t know my age and I wasn´t sure of his. After our first met and kiss, he tried to lie about his age because he noticed that I was too young for him.
Obviouslly I could tell he was lying, so I confronted him about it and he confess that he was 32.
I was 17
The thing is, he was really nice, though, so if he had told me the true, I would consider keep talking to him to see if it was worth it.
So guys, DO NOT lie about anything of you, especially your age if u are older
So yeah, after that lie I doubted of his profile and I ghosted him
You dodged a bullet. 32 year old men don't date 17 year old women for the scintillating conversation and deep meaningful discussions. They date them because women their own age refuse to deal with their s**t.
His taste in music was impeccable, he was attractive and funny in person the night we met, so I gave up the digits and we started texting. Five or six days into our texting a bit, he asked what I was doing the next day—a Friday. I told him I had other plans. This grown man texted to me “with another guy?” Then sent me a meme/photo thing with text that said something about how people prioritize their time with people they really care about. His name in my phone got changed that to Crazy Midtown (last name is the bar I met him at) and I never replied to him again.
Back when I was seeking a relationship through dating websites, I would send the ghost emoji 👻 anytime the conversation got overly sexual. This was especially the case if it was right away on first encounter. Some of these guys were so thirsty and it was the first thing they wanted to talk about. I got tired of writing “not interested, I’m actually looking for a relationship and not a hook up” hence resorting to the emoji instead 👻 beyond that, ghosting should only be used for the extremely toxic already established relationships where safety could be considered an issue.
Having a girlfriend.
Ha!! I work in film and I met a guy on location that was on the film crew. We got on famously. We started hanging out after work since we were staying at the same hotel. He said that we should keep the relationship quiet because of "set gossip" which seemed legit to 22 year old me. Then I'm casually chatting with another crew member who says "Man, Mike's in a bad mood today...his wife must be on his case again about being away from the kids!" It was awful. I confronted him and it was all true. Worst part? I had to still work in close contact with him every day after. He made all the lame excuses about "being really unhappily married, was staying with her for the kids, he really wanted to be with me, blah blah" It sucked.
I met a guy a few times through a mutual friend. Normally, we’d run into him at the mall; he was a model/actor and I was getting stuff from Victoria’s Secret and he would tag along. Albeit not the greatest way to meet a guy, he was very polite about my shopping and kept his distance when I would try on whatever. Well, he took me out on a date and things were really good. He was cool, interesting to talk to, good conversation. So, we were under this bridge in our Downtown area and we started kissing - all fine and dandy until he had me feel his half chub. Had is the wrong way to put. He said as he was half kissing me, “you should feel my half chub.” Then proceeded to grab my wrist rather forcefully and put my hand on his d**k over his jeans. I started to freak out and didn’t know what to do, so I ended the date and left. Blocked his number and told the mutual friend what happened. He still to this day doesn’t know what he did wrong.
If you're nice/an ok person but we don't get along/I don't like you somehow you'll get an explanation, even if it's a generic excuse not to hurt your feelings if it's a petty or superficial reason.
If you're are jerk you're not entitled to one. Look 👏 inwards 👏
So common things: refusing to/complaining about having to wear a condom.
Insisting to meet for the first time at his place/coming to mine. And I'm from a sexually liberated place and I think it's common to hookup in the first date but umm let's first meet in a public place maybe?
When you barely know them and they just want to rant to you and use you as an emotional sounding board
When they take 3 days to respond a text.
Lol then he's either chatting with a whole load at the same time or he's a scammer, who also has to respond to 50 women.
Following Instagram "models"
This one is weird. Then you probably shouldn't follow any attractive men, either. To be fair. Guess what, guys will find other women attractive. Worry more about if they do something sketchy with that or if they are just looking. Looking isn't a problem. It won't happen JUST online. You'll do the same. Be realistic here.
One New Years night I found my husband drunk and laying on the floor in a tux petting the dog saying how much he loved the dog. Knew he was the right one for me.
Met a guy online, he lived 3 hours away. Went on a date, everything was fine. Came home from work one day and he was parked in my driveway. I freaked out on him and asked him to leave. Later asked my neighbor how long he was there and she said he showed up an hour after I left for work. He sat in my driveway for 7 HOURS? Nope. All the ghosted, haunted af. Bye.
I think I've dated half the guys mentioned here. If a guy tries to control a situation before asking your opinion it's a red flag. If they compare you to someone without saying "I didn't realize it could be x way until I met you" it's a red flag. I mean like if you can just talk without yelling that's good but if you just yell because you want to be the loudest that's stupid. Only talking about themselves. One upping everything you mention. Nothing in common and not willing to try new things. Or forcing you to do x when you say you're not interested. I don't like red wine so don't give me red wine. I don't eat fish don't give me fish. I don't like heights so I'm not into going climbing. I have a bad hip. Oh you need oils and turmeric. No I need surgery. Men please just be yourself with open minds and try to know us like we are trying to know you. And stop with the d**k pics. If we want to see it then we will be in a bed. Don't expect butt sex. We aren't porn stars.
Got mad at me for saying no to sex. He then sent me angry texts. Last one I saw was him telling me that if I came crawling back to him, he wouldn't accept me 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I was told on our first official date (we'd been friends for awhile before, coworkers before that) that I would change my mind about kids before I was 40 and be sad. Even though babies have always grossed me out and I have no tolerance for sudden, sharp noises. He kept insisting that I'd be a good mother because, and I quote "you're so afraid of being a bad one". I broke up with him and shortly afterwards found out that asexuality was a thing and I wasn't wanting any of it. I was trying to force it. I'm 42 now and haven't wished for kids a day of those 12 years.
Ugh glad you ditched that prick. I am childfree too and no I won't change my mind and no I won't be stepparent wither.
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This is slightly different because I'm not interested anyway, but if I tell a guy they aren't really my type and they say "Well, what is your type?" Is this a debate? No, it isn't. I'm not interested and you aren't going to debate me into changing my mind. This screams coercion to me. You do not respect my decision. Goodbye.
Like he is going to change into Jason Mamoa or Tom Hardy overnight!
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Before I met my husband I dated a guy who asked me if I would be willing to get my tattoos removed. When I laughed and said no, he told me I would need to before we got married. This was the third date.
As a guy, I'm so incredibly ashamed of my male counterparts. Reading through this list makes me ill and I've been out on absolutely terrible dates over the past 6 plus years. Recently I found a great woman who laughs at my dumb jokes and we share dumb stuff, that make us both laugh and have great times together. She really is the best thing that has happened to me in years and both of us are very happy together. I'm certainly not controlling at all. I've called her "The Boss" a few times because I'm just thrilled to be with her and I truly don't care what we're doing, as long as we're together. Women, please know that not every guy is a creep, most of us are just hopelessly awkward and trying to figure stuff out as well go along. 😁
You sound like a keeper! My late husband (40+ years!) used to say to me, "You're the boss, Boss!"
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About 11 or 12 years ago, I met this guy and we started hooking up. He always dominated the conversation and waited a MONTH to tell me he had a girlfriend he just "hadn't gotten around to breaking up, yet." A month. So it's not like we were that serious, but it was long enough for me to start to develop some feelings for him, then he drops that on me. Yeah, I ghosted him asap. Who's to say he wouldn't cheat on my someday, too? I wanted to tell his girlfriend, but I had absolutely no way to find out who she even was. I didn't know her name, what she looked liked, where she hung out, nothing. It's been over a decade and I still feel guilty. So, yeah, another red flag would be if you end up being the one they're cheating with.
went on one date with a guy and at that time my mom wouldnt watch my infant daughter except for work. no prob i guess. so i went with him we watched some videos at his house while my daughter slept. we had a lot in common too. when he walked me to my car he said hey i really like you and we can be together if you 'get rid of' the kid. i told him straight up to go to hell
I had planned to meet a guy I met to go bowling with him and some of his friends. I got to the bowling alley and it was just him. I was caught off guard, but didn’t think much of it. At the place they had a Photo Booth with a few backgrounds and he chose one with hearts, love, and kisses on it. It wasn’t supposed to be a date and he posed like he was my boyfriend. It was super awkward and he tried to make out with me when I was at my car trying to leave. I got out of there and blocked him.
Had a first date with a fellow grad student. Met up with him on campus the next day and he told me he couldn't see me anymore as his fiancee had arrived in town. Not a date, but in a bar, looking spiffy, a young man sidled up to me, put his mouth close to my ear, and said, "Your friend looks great!" Thanks, pal.
I missed the part where it said all men do these things or that women don't. Women talking about specific reasons they've ghosted men is not man bashing. People don't need to cover all the other ways in which other people have done sucky things or give obvious disclaimers to everything they say to be able to talk about their lived experiences.
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One New Years night I found my husband drunk and laying on the floor in a tux petting the dog saying how much he loved the dog. Knew he was the right one for me.
Met a guy online, he lived 3 hours away. Went on a date, everything was fine. Came home from work one day and he was parked in my driveway. I freaked out on him and asked him to leave. Later asked my neighbor how long he was there and she said he showed up an hour after I left for work. He sat in my driveway for 7 HOURS? Nope. All the ghosted, haunted af. Bye.
I think I've dated half the guys mentioned here. If a guy tries to control a situation before asking your opinion it's a red flag. If they compare you to someone without saying "I didn't realize it could be x way until I met you" it's a red flag. I mean like if you can just talk without yelling that's good but if you just yell because you want to be the loudest that's stupid. Only talking about themselves. One upping everything you mention. Nothing in common and not willing to try new things. Or forcing you to do x when you say you're not interested. I don't like red wine so don't give me red wine. I don't eat fish don't give me fish. I don't like heights so I'm not into going climbing. I have a bad hip. Oh you need oils and turmeric. No I need surgery. Men please just be yourself with open minds and try to know us like we are trying to know you. And stop with the d**k pics. If we want to see it then we will be in a bed. Don't expect butt sex. We aren't porn stars.
Got mad at me for saying no to sex. He then sent me angry texts. Last one I saw was him telling me that if I came crawling back to him, he wouldn't accept me 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I was told on our first official date (we'd been friends for awhile before, coworkers before that) that I would change my mind about kids before I was 40 and be sad. Even though babies have always grossed me out and I have no tolerance for sudden, sharp noises. He kept insisting that I'd be a good mother because, and I quote "you're so afraid of being a bad one". I broke up with him and shortly afterwards found out that asexuality was a thing and I wasn't wanting any of it. I was trying to force it. I'm 42 now and haven't wished for kids a day of those 12 years.
Ugh glad you ditched that prick. I am childfree too and no I won't change my mind and no I won't be stepparent wither.
Load More Replies... This is slightly different because I'm not interested anyway, but if I tell a guy they aren't really my type and they say "Well, what is your type?" Is this a debate? No, it isn't. I'm not interested and you aren't going to debate me into changing my mind. This screams coercion to me. You do not respect my decision. Goodbye.
Like he is going to change into Jason Mamoa or Tom Hardy overnight!
Load More Replies... Before I met my husband I dated a guy who asked me if I would be willing to get my tattoos removed. When I laughed and said no, he told me I would need to before we got married. This was the third date.
As a guy, I'm so incredibly ashamed of my male counterparts. Reading through this list makes me ill and I've been out on absolutely terrible dates over the past 6 plus years. Recently I found a great woman who laughs at my dumb jokes and we share dumb stuff, that make us both laugh and have great times together. She really is the best thing that has happened to me in years and both of us are very happy together. I'm certainly not controlling at all. I've called her "The Boss" a few times because I'm just thrilled to be with her and I truly don't care what we're doing, as long as we're together. Women, please know that not every guy is a creep, most of us are just hopelessly awkward and trying to figure stuff out as well go along. 😁
You sound like a keeper! My late husband (40+ years!) used to say to me, "You're the boss, Boss!"
Load More Replies... About 11 or 12 years ago, I met this guy and we started hooking up. He always dominated the conversation and waited a MONTH to tell me he had a girlfriend he just "hadn't gotten around to breaking up, yet." A month. So it's not like we were that serious, but it was long enough for me to start to develop some feelings for him, then he drops that on me. Yeah, I ghosted him asap. Who's to say he wouldn't cheat on my someday, too? I wanted to tell his girlfriend, but I had absolutely no way to find out who she even was. I didn't know her name, what she looked liked, where she hung out, nothing. It's been over a decade and I still feel guilty. So, yeah, another red flag would be if you end up being the one they're cheating with.
went on one date with a guy and at that time my mom wouldnt watch my infant daughter except for work. no prob i guess. so i went with him we watched some videos at his house while my daughter slept. we had a lot in common too. when he walked me to my car he said hey i really like you and we can be together if you 'get rid of' the kid. i told him straight up to go to hell
I had planned to meet a guy I met to go bowling with him and some of his friends. I got to the bowling alley and it was just him. I was caught off guard, but didn’t think much of it. At the place they had a Photo Booth with a few backgrounds and he chose one with hearts, love, and kisses on it. It wasn’t supposed to be a date and he posed like he was my boyfriend. It was super awkward and he tried to make out with me when I was at my car trying to leave. I got out of there and blocked him.
Had a first date with a fellow grad student. Met up with him on campus the next day and he told me he couldn't see me anymore as his fiancee had arrived in town. Not a date, but in a bar, looking spiffy, a young man sidled up to me, put his mouth close to my ear, and said, "Your friend looks great!" Thanks, pal.
I missed the part where it said all men do these things or that women don't. Women talking about specific reasons they've ghosted men is not man bashing. People don't need to cover all the other ways in which other people have done sucky things or give obvious disclaimers to everything they say to be able to talk about their lived experiences.
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