Going on a first date can be nerve-racking for a number of reasons. What’s the perfect outfit for the evening? What if you run out of things to talk about? What if you like them more than they like you? Or what if they make you feel incredibly uncomfortable?
In an effort to feel safe on a first date, one woman recently told the man she was meeting up with that she would be bringing along a friend. But he never anticipated just how involved the friend would be on the date. Below, you’ll find the full story that the man shared on Reddit, as well as some of the replies invested readers shared.
It’s normal to be nervous before going on a first date
Image credits: guyswhoshoot (not the actual image)
But when this man’s date said she was bringing along a friend, he was not expecting her to be heavily involved in the evening
Image credits: Jannissimo (not the actual image)
Image credits: 771135Overton
Safety is an important consideration to take before going on a first date
Dating has probably never been easy, but I can’t help but feel like it’s become unnecessarily complicated and challenging in this modern age. Approaching strangers in public seems to be a thing of the past, and it’s nearly impossible to be set up on a blind date, as we can all Google one another and find out what someone does for a living, where they went to college, what they like to post on social media and more before ever meeting in person.
Now, there are some benefits to the current dating scene, like having access to millions of other daters from the comfort of your own home while swiping through apps. If you don’t like what you see, just keep swiping! But the idea of meeting up with strangers has also made many women wary of how safe they are on dates. After all, if you met someone online and the two of you have 0 mutual connections, is it really wise to spend an evening together?
According to an analysis of nearly 2,000 acquaintance sexual assaults that occurred between 2017 and 2020, researchers found that 14% occurred during a first meeting between two people who met via a dating app. Refinery 29 also reported that the number of women under the age of 20 who have been assaulted after meeting people from dating apps has risen significantly since 2016.
Image credits: Mikhail Nilov (not the actual image)
Unfortunately, dates sometimes take a dark turn
Women younger than 20 now make up 22% of all female survivors who have been assaulted by people they met via dating apps. However, women between the ages of 20 to 29 still make up the largest proportion of these survivors, accounting for 40%, according to the National Crime Agency in the UK. Unfortunately, safety is something women have to consider a lot of the time. In fact, one survey found that 82% of women consider their safety when dating, compared to only 48% of men.
And according to the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (or RAINN), it’s important to take safety into consideration before even meeting in person. It’s wise when connecting online to use photos on your dating profile that aren’t linked to your social media, so strangers can’t easily find information about you via reverse image searches.
Don’t hesitate to research your potential dates online, and block or report any users that make you uncomfortable. Keep personal information to yourself, as there’s no way of knowing who you can trust online, and suggest video chatting with your date before actually meeting in person. When it comes to meeting up face to face, RAINN recommends telling at least one friend where you’ll be.
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual image)
It’s recommended to keep friends in the loop when going on a date, just in case
You can share your location, and send a screenshot of your date’s profile to a friend. That way, they’ll know exactly where you are and who you’re with, just in case anything happens. Meet in a public place where lots of other people will be, and don’t rely on your date for transportation. Remember to have your phone fully charged before the date as well.
While it clearly didn’t work out well for the woman in this story to bring a friend along on her date, there are ways to look out for your safety without compromising the entire date. For example, her friend could have been in the same bar, having a drink alone or with another friend, keeping an eye on what’s going on throughout the evening. She didn’t necessarily have to be part of the conversation to be keeping a watchful eye.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. Do you think it’s appropriate to bring a friend along on a first date? Or would you prefer that your dates stay solely between you and the person you’re meeting? Feel free to share, and then if you’re interested in reading another Bored Panda article discussing dating, look no further than right here!
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual image)
Readers assured the man that he did nothing wrong by ending the date, and he joined in on the conversation to share more of his thoughts
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As a woman, I don’t expect for him to pay on the first date (I’m okay to let him if he insists). If I brought a friend for whatever reason, I would pay for them (or if they insisted on coming, they can pay for themselves). Long story long: he was nta, they were weird and demanding.
Honestly I pay for a variety of reasons. I pay because you're my friend, I pay because I like you, or I pay because I'm not interested.
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I think it's bizarre to expect your date to pay for a friend! I've always insisted on splitting the bill 50/50 on dates in the past, even if someone asked me on the date.
I’m a man. I would say I’d pay on the first date, you can pay if we go on a second date, if they weren’t comfortable with that then no bigs I’d happily split it it. Carry it lightly, don’t let it be A Thing.
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A date that doesn't at the very least offer to split the bill is a red flag. Profiteers do not make worthy partners.
I think if you invite someone on a date, the assumption is that you'll pay.
Load More Replies... As a woman, I don’t expect for him to pay on the first date (I’m okay to let him if he insists). If I brought a friend for whatever reason, I would pay for them (or if they insisted on coming, they can pay for themselves). Long story long: he was nta, they were weird and demanding.
Honestly I pay for a variety of reasons. I pay because you're my friend, I pay because I like you, or I pay because I'm not interested.
Load More Replies... I think it's bizarre to expect your date to pay for a friend! I've always insisted on splitting the bill 50/50 on dates in the past, even if someone asked me on the date.
I’m a man. I would say I’d pay on the first date, you can pay if we go on a second date, if they weren’t comfortable with that then no bigs I’d happily split it it. Carry it lightly, don’t let it be A Thing.
Load More Replies... A date that doesn't at the very least offer to split the bill is a red flag. Profiteers do not make worthy partners.
I think if you invite someone on a date, the assumption is that you'll pay.
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