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“Within A Month I’d Moved Out”: 37 Reasons People Divorced After Less Than 3 Months Of Marriage
Many people believe that their wedding day will be the best day of their life. And it’s understandable to have high expectations when you’ve spent years and thousands of dollars planning the occasion. But if it does end up being the pinnacle of your life, then it’s only downhill from there…
Newlyweds should be thrilled about all of the adventures that their future has in store for them, but some realize that tying the knot will actually be the end of their journey. Redditors have been discussing reasons why they (or someone they know) got divorced within a few months of saying “I do,” so we’ve gathered some of their tales of heartbreak below. This may not be the most fun list to read, pandas, but it’s a great reminder to be 100% sure before deciding to go through with a wedding!
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
My ex husband didn’t think I listened to the same radio show he did on my morning commute (think Howard Stern-esque). About 3 weeks after we got married, the two male hosts were sharing stories people wrote in about the best oral s*x they’d ever received. Idiot didn’t even bother disguising his name, admitted to having just gotten married, and described - in detail - the best BJ of his life.. received the night before our wedding, by his best friend’s wife. They thanked him for sharing his tale after throwing some cheeky insults directed at me while having a good laugh over it.
As soon as I got to the office I hacked my way into the f****r’s email and went straight for the sent folder. He sent the email to the radio show the morning prior, within 10 or so minutes of us having a morning shower together (that kind) before parting ways to head to work. I shared the email to Facebook, tagged all relevant parties, and had the papers filed within 24 hours.
Nicole Weymann 11 months ago
"the night before our wedding, by his best friend’s wife": now THAT's classy. Not only the timing, but unless he and his best friend have a very special relationship he likely needed a new best friend (not that he deserves one), and that wife a new husband.
KatSaidWhat 10 months ago
Yup, I would have gone nuclear on that one too all over social media. The best friend is either collateral damage but also deserved to know, or he was collusive.
sharyn turnicky 10 months ago
Checkmate! Play stupid games, win stupid prizes! Probably no one was as surprised as ex.
katiekat0214 10 months ago
QUEEN move. SLAY. I'm glad she shamed him right back, well deserved.
RELATED:
#2
Immediately after getting legally married, he became crazily possessive and physically abusive. He wouldn't let me out of his sight, wouldn't let me talk to anyone, work, leave the house, said that as his wife I was basically his property, etc. Then he started saying he wanted to have a kid ASAP. I got the f**k out as soon as the first opportunity presented itself.
Limey 10 months ago
I had a friend this happened to. Normal dating and engagement and the minute, literally, they got married he became jealous, possessive and abusive. She couldn’t even get the mail because he would accuse her of receiving mail from “other men”. Yes, she didn’t stay but a couple of months.
Artful Penguin 10 months ago
Mine became emotionally and verbally abusive almost immediately after getting married. I wasn't allowed to have any money, had to call him on my lunch breaks or he would flip. No electronic privacy, had to tell him what all my phone calls were about etc. Got divorced within 9 months.
Tamra 10 months ago
So glad for you that you got out. You deserve better.
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Celtic Pirate Queen 10 months ago (edited)
My ex lasted ALMOST a year. As soon as the ring went on, I was: not allowed to hug any male not related, I laughed too loud, dressed inappropriately (I have a large bust and have ALWAYS dressed modestly) etc. I also found out he had the "Kathleen" tattoo (which I made him cover up prior) inked AFTER she broke up with him and AFTER he got out of jail for stalking & harassing her, that they'd had a son together, who had died at 6 months, I ALSO discovered the pills he took daily for his "back injury" were actually for his bi-polar disorder. I knew he'd been in the Navy, but did not know he had been "generally" discharged, not honorably, and I laughed in his face when he claimed to have been a Seal. I was like, "Dude, I'm pretty sure they require your IQ has 3 digits". Instead of giving me the Doctor bills he wracked up, he hid them in his desk, which I discovered AFTER I kicked him out and AFTER my wages were garnished. He went to jail for stalking & harassing me as well.
Celtic Pirate Queen 10 months ago
Oh - AND he wanted me to quit my $50k a year job (in 1993, that was a LOT of money) to be a SAHM, having his baby in addition to my 2, which I told him beforehand was NOT going to happen, while living off of his $17k income, which wouldn't even cover the mortgage, let alone buy food. F*cking delusional. I don't know WHAT I was thinking.
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Guess Undheit 10 months ago
This will become ever more common in yankland. Expect desperate yank males to attempt Kazakhstan "marriages" next. [ https://www.unicef.org/eca/stories/i-never-said-yes ]
#3
My exSO got super controlling, like a switch just flipped, after we got married. He didn’t want to go out for any activities, but I couldn’t go two houses down to be social with the wives next door (he was active military and we lived on base).
At one point, it got so bad that he accused me of cheating with one of the neighbors husbands (even though all the wives only ever stayed out on the patio, no SO’s hung out, and we all never went into each others homes when any SO’s were home). So we went to the chaplain on base for marriage counseling. It was suggested that we should attend a marriage “camp” 200+ miles away in…….Las Vegas NV.
The pressure to go to this camp + it being located in Las Vegas = a red flag for me. So I told my ex that we either need to find a licensed marriage counselor, because something about the conversation with the chaplain just was not sitting well with me at all.
He did not want to listen to my concerns about the counseling we has already had at the time and was not willing to meet me anywhere for any counseling help. So he served me divorce papers, cut off the joint bank access, and told me to find a way back to my home state on my own.
No job, didn’t have a separate bank account, my parents were financially unable to help out, and I had to move out within 2 weeks with no where to go. An exbf of mine (we hadn’t spoken in 2 years at that time) happened to reach out to me to check in and see how I was doing, told him what was going on and within 48 hours he was on a flight out to help me move. About 6 months after the divorce was finalized, exbf and I started dating again. We’ve now been married for 9 years and still going strong.
Richienotsorich 10 months ago
If they were military, all she had to do was go to the Commanding Officer and tell them of what was going on and they would assist her, and he'd probably get into some bother too.
#4
Found out 17 days in that she had been talking to another guy and was only marrying me for my insurance and because I was in the process of trying to donate part of my liver to her.
Celtic Pirate Queen 10 months ago (edited)
My ex got remarried a few years after we split up. I used to let him crash on the couch in my TV room when he came to town to work, and he was constantly trying to get back in my bed, which was NEVER goign to happen. So when I found out he'd gotten married, I confronted him. She didn't mean anything to him, he just needed her health insurance because of his heart condition, blah, blah blah. In the meantime I had started dating my now husband. Ex freaked the f*ck out when he saw the flowers on my nightstand. Literally crying & screaming that I didn't love him, etc. No sh*t Sherlock, that's while I divorced you. At Christmas a few months later he sent me a package with all of the ornaments I'd given him over the years and HALF of his wedding ring. It was pathetic. BUT - I've been happily married to Scott for 17 years and the ex is dead.
Charles Morgan 10 months ago
OMG ! This is pretty much the worst schemer playing the part of a loving partner. You have to tell "the rest of the story" ! I hope you left and reneged on the donation.
#5
Sounds like my cousin. She married a really decent seeming guy. When they got back from honeymoon, he presented her with a handwritten list of things she must do. Most were household tasks like cooking, do the washing, etc, but as the list went on it got more creepy.
She had to cut all contact with family, couldnt see her friends, wasnt allowed out unsupervised. The sad part was she went along with it and it took her family ages to convince her that this wasnt healthy behaviour.
Kate Johnson 10 months ago
It's hard to understand a woman that has such low self esteem she's wouldn't walk out the minute he gave her the list.
Nils Skirnir 10 months ago
Altho creepy and evil, this is common in some cultures and religions. Women especially have to be VERY careful
#6
He went to jail twice for domestic violence, had a pregnant girlfriend on the side, had 2 children he hid, and he ended up having 7 counts of sexual exploitation of a minor.
Luckily my dad's a divorce attorney and got me an annulment in a place where that's regarded as extremely unusual.
Curry on... 10 months ago
Nobody proofs these posts. They could hire me if I can work remote.
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katiekat0214 10 months ago
This is why you do a deep search online, and slow things down. Wait to get married. Lundy Bancroft and Gavin de Becker both say it takes 18 months to two years for a mask to slip. Don't be in ANY hurry to lock things down. If it's real, and the other person is an actual adult, they'll understand the need to go slow. No one who rushes has your best interests in mind. Ever.
Neb 10 months ago
Some of these might have been recent, after marriage. And it also could be that background check was done at the beginning of friendship, not just before the marriage.
Load More Replies... #7
This happened to my grandmother. In her early '70s, she decided she wanted companionship and started seeing an old friend who felt the same.
After the wedding, he started expecting her to wait on him hand and foot. She never did that for Grandpa while he was alive and wasn’t going to start now. It wasn’t even a month before she had moved back out and to her place again.
Glen Ellyn 11 months ago
She wised up pretty quickly and took appropriate action. Good for her!
Ruth Watry 10 months ago
My grandma started dating a guy in her 70s, and after a year or so, decided that she had no desire to spend the rest of her life as somebody's maid.
Sue Ellen Jensen 10 months ago
And this is why, after being with my ex-boyfriend for far too long and putting up with way too much from him, I have gone no contact and will be happy, at age 65, to be my own best friend the rest of my life.
Tamra 10 months ago
It's a phrase that means basically this man wanted her to do all the cooking, cleaning, etc.
Load More Replies... LGBTQpanda 9 months ago
He should have hired a maid instead of putting someone through all that drama! Even a maid might toss coffee on him if he was annoying enough. Just me? Oh...ok...
#8
In a nutshell, during our honeymoon right after the marriage, i found out she was cheating. Didn't end it on the spot because i didn't fully understand what was happening and we still had 1 week of honeymoon to go..
After gettin back hone i did some sneaky research and found out she cheated on me since 8 months... wasn't funny at all to confront her but it had to be done...
We don't talk to each other anymore
#9
I'll answer for a friend of mine.
This girl was an ex that he had been in love with for years, even though she cheated on him and used him for his money.
Anyway, she came crawling back to him and they were married within the first month of her being back in his life. Super dumb, I agree, but it wasn't my choice though I shared how stupid I thought it was.
Well, the first two weeks of them being married she managed to spend sixty thousand dollars of his money.
I asked, "Did you get a prenup?", he said no. I laughed and said, "She's going to cheat on you again and take your money." Absolutely insensitive on my part, I agree 100%, it was a d**k move. He stopped talking to me for a week, then called me to hang out. He caught her cheating, again, with the same dude she cheated with before. I can proudly say I didn't drop an I told you so, instead I advised he get it annulled immediately so she can't go after any of his savings, investments, or assets.
So there it is. Bonus story, when he took back everything he bought or that was in his name, she broke it first. 10/10 classy broad.
KatSaidWhat 10 months ago
10/10 would report for destruction of property. Might not get anywhere with it but that little report will f**k her up for some time.
DragonofMordor 10 months ago
It depends. If it was stuff he bought and gifted to her, the law isn't going to consider it his. If the title was in his name, then yes.
Load More Replies... Uncle Schmickle 10 months ago
I can understand how, in the old days, some people would engage a hit man to finish the job.
Sue Ellen Jensen 10 months ago
A former fiancé was so much an a*****e, my sister's body-building boyfriend offered to break his legs for me.
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#10
Not me but an old coworker. His wife (third, I think) literally changed overnight after the wedding. Once she got him home she sat him down and explained all the rules, now that they were legal. Home 30 minutes after quitting time, no hanging out with friends, no drinking, never speak to another woman, yadda yadda yadda. I am paraphrasing as it's been a while, but she viewed MARRIED as a whole other thing and she expected him to obey all her rules. She pulled a hard bait-and-switch on him. I think that lasted less than 3 months.
I understand that SOME things change after marriage, and they should, but that was extreme. I've seen a ton of lesser cases in this sub, often based on s*x.
BlackestDawn 11 months ago
Genuine question here, outside of legal status what "changes" in a relationship after marriage? As in what could this person have been thinking about when they wrote "I understand that SOME things change after marriage", because I can't think of any that are inherent to the event of marriage.
Fellfromthemoon 10 months ago
I guess some couples start living together after the wedding, or merge finances.
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UpupaEpops 10 months ago
Was she an affair partner? The only women I know who are like this in a relationship have always been the reason why a previous marriage ended. (I know it takes two to tango, but any woman who entertains the interest of a man who they know to be married, deserves the paranoia it comes with being the Nth woman they marry.)
Dragon mama 10 months ago
I wish my ex had been so direct about that stuff and I wouldn't have stayed in that marriage for more than 10 years. These are the lucky folks: for many of us it's gaslighting and moving the goal posts and craziness but subtle for years and years before the abuse finally becomes clear.
Sven Horlemann 10 months ago
Honestly, it never occured to me (or us) that some things change after marriage. I mean, why. Or are we doing it wrong for 34 years now? 🙃
Tamra 10 months ago
I'm with you on this one. I suppose we've also been doing it "wrong" for 36 years now.
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Mook The Mediocre 10 months ago
"I've seen a ton of lesser cases in this sub, often based on s*x." How do sox come into the equation? My footwear has never caused such complications. Of course if you meant something else, you should have f*****g said it.
Jessie 10 months ago
Bored panda actually censores words in posts from Reddit that aren’t censored on the bp website, the censoring wasn’t done by the person that wrote the story.
Load More Replies... #11
It was a fairytale kind of day in good ol Vegas. Never saw it coming. He decided 19 mins after we got back to our hotel that he was going to choke me up against the wall. He had never put his hands on me before this, not even a raised voice. Both of us were in the military, as well as my coworkers who joined us for the ceremony. He wanted to do his own thing instead of joining us. He left his ring, his phone and his wallet on the nightstand and disappeared for 4 days.
He popped up on our last day, as we were walking to the parking garage to head back to San Diego. He, a Marine, went on a 4 day coke binge. 9 days from getting married, I went back and filed for an annulment, never even consumated, which is grounds for an annulment/divorce apparently. Checked off more than 3 of the reasons for separation.
He drew it out for 7 months, tried to get me to pay him spousal support and help him pay off his debt (30k) and bought a very loaded Mitsubishi Evo. He only took it seriously because his fiance was very pregnant and wanted the papers so they could get married. She was 7 months if not more so clearly I missed something while we were living in separate cities.
He literally went into hiding so I wouldn't be able to have him served with the papers Never showed up to court, eventually after he played his I want marriage counseling/don't want to divorce when he did respond. It didn't take long for the judge to be over it and eventually granted it once he missed 2 court dates in a row. I could go on but that's the gist of it.
#12
I got married at 18 because we were both joining the military and wouldn't be stationed together. After 3 months he decided he would rather be single... we decided 4 months in to get divorced. I met my current husband the next month even though I didn't plan to get with anybody. Then my ex ish husband was mad that I had moved on when HE'S THE ONE THAT WANTED A DIVORCE. He dragged his feet on getting it, I couldn't file because I wasn't a resident anywhere as I was still in school. I drove 6 hours to his state to file as the defendant so that I could get the ball rolling and it still took him 3 months to do his part. Technically we were married for 10 months but only voluntarily for 4 ish. My current husband and I got married after 6 months of knowing each other and we've been together for 12 years now with 4 kids.
I like to say I made the same mistake twice, it just worked out for me the second time.
You don't get out of the military without a divorce, article 15, or alcoholism...
B Hobbs 10 months ago
US military, Uniform Code of Military Justice (UCMJ). Article 15 is less than a court-martial (similar to a civilian felony trial), kind of traffic ticket, shoplifting, low level assault type crimes. Handled by the commander, no lawyers. Wikipedia probably has a detailed entry on it.
Load More Replies... Richienotsorich 10 months ago
What happened to the Section 8 that Klinger was always trying for?!
Ruth Watry 10 months ago
Brother was in AF for 23 years without any of the issues at the end of the post
Jessie 10 months ago
“Current” doesn’t necessarily imply there’s more in the future, it can also just mean things that happened in the past (like an ex husband).
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Negatoris Wrecks 10 months ago (edited)
My partner's cousin's ex participated all the way til the court mandated parenting when he just stopped. Without both completing the classes washington wouldn't finish the divorce. He kept this up for 8 years. She still had to live in the same oportunity-less rural tweaker town or she'd be violating court orders. She gave up and is back with him.
#13
Not exactly the three months timeline you asked for, but I knew I had to leave within 6 months of getting married. It took me a lot longer to actually get out, but that’s a different story.
I married my longtime SO within weeks of graduating college and getting a full time job. We were already engaged and had been for a while, but money was tight and my new insurance was good and we decided to just go ahead and go to the courthouse and have our wedding later when we could afford one. Our dynamic up until this point had been him working full time and me taking care of the house while I finished college and worked part time. I didn’t think a whole lot of it since I was home a lot more than him and it made sense. I knew he was lazy with housework in general, but for some reason I expected things to equalize now that I was matching/exceeding his income and work hours.
Obviously, I was wrong. He demanded everything I’d previously done for him to continue, and I was caught in a loop of getting off of work and rushing home to wake him up (GENTLY! He’d yell at me if I woke him up too suddenly), make him breakfast, pick out his clothes for him, and get the dogs walked before going to sleep for the day. When he got off of work, he would repeatedly call my phone until I woke up to talk to him while he drove home, and I had to get up, make dinner, do dishes, grocery shop, etc. until I went into work while he played video games. If I had cash for whatever reason, he would take it away and not give it back. All of our finances were joint and he spent a decent amount of my money on his expensive hobbies while asking if anything I got for myself was really necessary. He got mad that I was making friends that he had no control over, friends that made me realize that he was demanding and controlling.
The moment I knew I had to leave was when he made a total mess while hooking up a washing machine in the rental house we’d just moved into, and told me, “There’s water all over the floor in there. You’re gonna wanna clean that up.” For some reason, the way he said that made it crystal clear how he actually thought of me. I wasn’t a person to him. I was a servant and he would never admit it, but he felt like he owned me. And so that was when I started making plans to leave. I got stressed and depressed to the point where he couldn’t gaslight me into thinking this was a normal, happy life anymore.
Lost Penny 10 months ago
At least it lasted for 6 months & not for years, which is, sadly, often the case.
Nadia Egypt 10 months ago
OP said it took her much longer than 6 months to actually get out.
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#14
My cousin found out her husband was getting off to photos of her body…but with her sisters face covering her own.
#15
I got divorced after three months and tbh it was the best decision of my life. I truly believed in no sex before marriage and so my ex and I had never gone down that road.
Fast forward to the wedding night and boy was I disappointed. He had a micro penis and it didn’t matter what he did it just didn’t satisfy me at all. I tried to stay and make it work as he was a nice guy but then there were problems with his mother. One day I just felt like I’m so young (26 at the time) ‘how could this be my life from now on??’. I was paying half of everything and working full time and doing all the housework. One day he started saying I need to this that and the other and wear this and that and not speak to any other guys (even colleagues). Well sorry mate that’s not me and I won’t be dictated too thank you. Then the abuse started and so I left.
I left, even though my family were horrified I was the only one to ever get a divorce, and served him divorce papers.
Fast forward four years (I made sure I healed from this) and I got married in 2019 and were still together three years later. I have a son (1) and I am so happy with my decision back then. It was hard to go against the norm in my family and culture, but it was the right thing for me.
Chicken Mitten 10 months ago
If a micro penis is a deal breaker, may I suggest you don't wait for marriage.
roddy 10 months ago
It was being treated like a slave that made her walk.
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Scott Rackley 10 months ago
Yeah, let's commit to a lifetime without knowing if we're sexually compatible. Ace of an idea.
Max Fox 10 months ago (edited)
This is 100% made up. There are elements from at least four separate "Marriages From Hell" stories, strung together randomly. Starts with "No Sex Before Marriage And He Had A Micropenis", then moves to "Problems With Mother-in-Law", then we move on to "Paying Half And Doing All The Housework", and we wrap it all up with the "Required Behavior List". A worthy endeavor, but it does lack ambition, and the execution leaves much to be desired. I applaud creative writing, but this is not very creative. 6/10 for content, 3/10 for execution.
Sue Ellen Jensen 8 months ago
Apparently you haven't met as many stupid men as I have.
Load More Replies... #16
I have a friend who divorced after 11 months. She was addicted to the party and idea of being a Princess for a day, not the idea of actually making a marriage work. She remarried another man 14 months after the ink was dry on her divorce. Another big party and another dress. She told me she walked away from the first marriage with a $12,000 Debt, most of which was her half of their big wedding. It blew my mind that entering into a new marriage, already in debt from the first, she'd choose to go big again. We lost touch so I have no idea how long the second marriage lasted but my guess would be not long.
Celtic Pirate Queen 10 months ago
My sister & her ex (why they're still legally married 20 years later is a huge mystery) spent upwards of $40k for their wedding & honeymoon. The wedding was gorgeous to be sure, but she was so caught up in GETTING married she didn't put much thought into the ACTUAL marriage. She was a serial cheater (he's only 1 of four candidates for who fathered my niece), she cheated on him on their honeymoon. Granted the guy's a total pr*ck, but he didn't deserve the sh*t she put him through. He's paid off more than $100k in her credit card debt. She is a miserable alcoholic that I no longer have contact with.
#17
He got a woman pregnant while deployed in Japan. We got married a week before he left
#18
My wife’s best friend got married in October 2021, January 2022 the husband opiate habit and massive debts to everyone she knows blows up the marriage and she threw him out and did a diy divorce. Dude was pocketing the rent and blaming her to the landlord. It was pretty shocking to be a spectator to all of it.
Celtic Pirate Queen 10 months ago
One of my ex husbands (don't judge) always paid the rent late. Apparently the entire 2 years we lived in our condo there had been a 3 day par or vacate notice on the door every single month. He made good money, but apparently had a serious gambling addiction. I had a hell of a time getting an apartment when we split up.
Donna Peluda 10 months ago
Something similar happened to me in my first marriage. We both worked in clubs a bars but never did d***s. Ar least that what I thought, turned out been blowing are money in blow. We had bought a house together so I went down with her. Lost the house and credit score. Lucky I was able to dig myself out and now 30 years later I'm doing fine.
#19
For me my first hubs slept with his best friend and she was also his grooms woman.I was fine with his bestie being a girl. I trusted him, didn't matter if I trusted her. Took me awhile to see it, but divorced within a year. Think he's actually more poly, I hate that he wasn't honest with himself and could have spared me and my son the heartache. We would have still been friends in that case . I was happy it was quick, he was an awesome step dad to my son, I still don't think he thinks about us however. It was hard on my boy but found a very loving husband soon after. Been 24 years now. Still happy.
RagDollLali 10 months ago
You can't have a relationship or marriage where one person decides they're poly and the other isn't, it doesn't work that way. At the end of the day that's just called cheating.
DragonofMordor 10 months ago
This. It doesn't magically stop being cheated just because you are poly. In an actual poly relationship, everyone involved knows what is going on and agrees, and there aren't secret hidden relationships.
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The Abe 10 months ago
Not even non-monogamous...it's just cheating. Poly, ENM, and swinging all have the common thread of *everyone* in the relationship(s) consenting. I'm not here to argue if it works. Just that if anyone is hiding anything, it's simply cheating. Even in an 'open' style relationship.
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Robert Beveridge 10 months ago
Some people get off on the cheating. You can't ever get them to be honest about it even when everyone knows what's going on.
#20
A friend of mine was with this guy throughout high school and college. They got engaged and married- as she was packing to move in with him out of state (about a month in), he called her and told her they made a big mistake and should not have ever been married. So they got divorced shortly after that, she was quite literally broken and he was REMARRIED less than 2 months later.
#21
All the issues we had before were not magically fixed because we were married. I didn’t want to go through with the wedding, but couldn’t bring myself to break up.
I also felt sort of trapped because we had spent a large amount of money, and our parents had contributed as well. We had lived together for years so I chalked it up to cold feet.
Honestly, I was dumb and immature and wish I would’ve handled it so many other ways.
Lew k 10 months ago
Marriage doesn't change anything about a person. If they aren't who you want them to be without a ring they won't be with one.
Glen Ellyn 10 months ago
True, except some people put up a phony front, pretending to be nice and caring. And after the wedding their true selves come out. There are a few such stories in this thread.
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BrownEyedPanda 10 months ago
I've observed that the wedding ring tends to amplify any and all existing issues, as well as bring other issues to light.
Avenir Construction 10 months ago
https://avenir-construction.com/tout-savoir-sur-les-maisons-ecologiques-pourquoi-les-choisir/
#22
She had to get married first of all the high-school group. The fiancé hit on all the bridesmaids during the engagement party, but we said nothing because she wouldn’t have listened anyway. (He was 30, she was 19.) He hit on all the bridesmaids at the reception after the wedding ceremony. We avoided him like the plague he was; and his groomsmen and friends at said wedding were all the same — a bunch of douches.
She got multiple “kidney infections” (we all surmised STDs) during their nine-month marriage before she finally filed for divorce.
Tom De Paul 8 months ago
They're both adults. That word is thrown around way too much and cheapens accounts of real grooming and abuse.
Load More Replies... #23
I had a friend marry his girl because she was about to join the Marines. She met somebody she liked more in boot camp and divorced him over email. Two months total.
Opal 10 months ago
Why does this advertisement in French keep appearing?! This has nothing to do with the topic and should be removed!
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#24
Got engaged in June, 2017. Told her parents I wanted the wedding set up for June, 2018 but they arranged everything to be done in January, 2018 instead. Ok, I thought. No big deal. November comes and I notice her being secretive with her phone. Found her flirting with another man. Ok, I thought. No big deal. She's probably just nervous about the wedding coming up. Told her to stop and hoped we could just move on. Come December, it was practically unbearable to be around her. Everything I was doing wrong and there was absolutely no way to please her anymore. Found out they were seeing each other while I was at work on the weekends...
Decided to "take a break" and let her figure things out because the wedding was basically just weeks away. I thought she would take time to think about it but I found out that she was seeing the guy every day during the 1 week break and having s*x with him. At this point I just broke down and started crying, told her I'd forgive her if she still wanted to go through with the wedding if she was still willing to go through with it too. She agreed to stop seeing him and marry me but she said she wanted to see him just one last time to tell him. She went to see him and I later found out they went on a date activity (ax throwing) and dinner together... Probably had s*x together too, who knows.
We left for the wedding the very next day after that and basically she told me not to ask her any questions about anything that happened during the break. After about 3 weeks in her home city we got married. Flew back to our home city and 3 days later she texted me while I was at work "Sorry but I'm not coming home to sleep this weekend". She basically went right back to screwing that guy. Long story short, I gave her 2-3 more chances (she kept running back to me when things weren't going her way with the new guy) and eventually found them screwing each other when she wouldn't answer my phone calls one evening. I just knew they were doing it so I walked in her apartment (they left the doors unlocked) and caught them in the act. Never spoke to her since. I think I just needed to see that to truly get over it. We were officially over after 3 weeks but basically the marriage died after just 3 days.
Tom De Paul 8 months ago
I wouldn't sit at home waiting for an invitation to join Mensa. Just sayin'.
#25
I met back up with an old girlfriend from high school bout 10 years after we broke up and hit it off, she left her partner for me and we were “happy families”. About a year later she got pregnant and was suggesting we start thinking about marriage etc.
I was hesitant as I didn’t want to rush anything but in general we were still very much in love and eventually we tied the knot, well as soon as we got married the relationship declined fast, she seemed distant and not interested and she was talking to one of her guy friends more often which was sus to me.
In the end we split and she hooked up with him no surprise, but then she did the same thing to him so it seems like a pattern for her, 10 years later and we are are good terms and our son is happy and all g.
The Ace Writer 11 months ago
I believe what OP is saying is that they are on good terms as friends/co-parents, but not as a romantic relationship
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#26
Turns out she's still using
#27
Not me, but a friend of my husband. Groom and bride go to Mexico for their wedding, where groom meets some of the bride's friends for the first time. Six months later the groom and his new wife have split and he has moved in with one of the wife's friends he met at the wedding. To be fair, the groom and the friend are together and married 10+ years later, but ouch!
#28
I know someone this happened to and the couple basically knew they shouldn’t get married but that whole sunk cost thing came into play and after dating for “so long” they basically felt like they had to get engaged and them it’s really hard for people to call off a wedding when you’ve made nonrefundable payments and have all your friends and families coming. I don’t know anyone this has happened to where there was zero “we probably shouldn’t do this” happening with at least one of them. People get really wrapped up in planning and gets away from you.
Glen Ellyn 10 months ago
We can only hope that the more stories like this come out, the more folks will see that it's better to cancel the wedding, regardless of sunk costs. Who am I kidding? Probably not...
Willie D'Kay 10 months ago
Cancelled 10 days out from the wedding when I finally had a moment of clarity. Loser guy that I just didn't know how to get rid of to be honest and too scared (insecure) to think anyone else would want me. Living in my house. Living "in sin" according to my mom so "why not just get married". Called it off and convinced him to buy my house from me so I didn't have the stress of trying to pay the bills on my own. Ran within a week of the house closing and haven't heard from him since. That was 20 years ago and I found my real love and kids and life is what it should be. Sunk cost fallacy really needs to be brought up more often.
#29
I've known people who got married and on their wedding night their new spouse became physically abusive.
#30
My parents best friends daughter (I’m not friends with her, I know her simply because our parents are best friends)
She had a destination wedding, stupid expensive with this guy who she already had a rocky relationship with, they had a child together (like 1 year old?)
He cheated on her multiple times at his bachelor party. She tried to call the wedding off like 3 days before they were set to leave. Her dad basically said “nope, everything’s paid for already” (remember it was a destination wedding so all of the guests had already bought their airline tickets *and* booked their stay)
She had the wedding, they came home, something like 2 weeks later she was filing for divorce.
Edit: no one knew the wedding was fake! He told my dad this after the whole thing went down. I think part of this too was just societal pressure, like people who have been together for so long (and share a child) its more they feel “forced”.
#31
Some people just think that getting married solves all of their problems. Sometimes people let their real selves come out as soon as they get married.
#32
Ex wife asked to marry me, I was young, dumb, and said yes. 3 months later, Christmas rolls around she wants nothing to do with me. Needless to say it was a great Christmas.
#33
Sorry guys, this is gonna be long.
Everything was great, not perfect but great, almost felt perfect. Our on going issues had been addressed and working on them was continuous. I was never big on marriage, even though I respected the institution I just didn't think it was for me.
We've known each other for 18 years, dated on and off. Didn't see each other for 9 years, then got back together and recommitted. To make sure, we dated a further 3 years before he proposed.
I wanted a court house wedding, he wanted 3 big weddings. Cool, I indulge, whatever it's a wedding after all.
I used to talk to his sister openly. During my planning of these 3 weddings I asked if the females in his family wanted to get involved, it didn't seem that way so I proceeded. Fast forward his family decides to take over one of the weddings, by the time I'm told, they've changed the venue, décor everything. Obviously I flip.
This happens during a call from his sister as she was the one to inform me.
Fast forward after the first wedding, at some point we go up to his mother's to help her out with a project of hers. She treats me so awfully that I come to the verge of depression. I have (BPD,MDD, ANXIETY) During this whole time he didn't stand up for me.
A month later I decide I can't do this and I have to leave his mother's home to protect my mental health.
I go back home. As soon as I get home there's a huge energy shift. Turns out the sister misconstrued my words and told his family that I said I wanted to grapple him from his mother's control and I'll do that as soon as we are married.
This s**t continues and he's basically stopped talking to me altogether at this point. Then he comes back (via WhatsApp btw) and says he's assessed our relationship and he realised he's been unhappy. He realises that he got the short end of the stick. He wants to move on and heal.
And that ladies and gentlemen is how I got married in November 2021 and now divorced in June 2022.
Willie D'Kay 10 months ago
3 weddings isn't the weird part. I had 3 weddings. My mom threw an American one, MIL threw a Japanese one, and hubby wanted a music venue with his music buddies party one. The weird part of the OP post is 18 years and didn't know the guy or the family well enough to see that crazy coming.
Load More Replies... #34
When I moved into the house I live in now, it was with my husband (then boyfriend), our best friend, and his fiancé. They got married 2 months after we moved in, and she SUCKED. Super entitled, didn’t appreciate her husband, he paid all her bills so she could spend her money on Brazilian waxes and workout clothes, often threw temper tantrums, was not a good step mom to her new step daughter that best friend has shared custody of. Their marriage lasted 6 months, and he is much happier now. The household has much better vibes too! She wasn’t so bad when they were dating, but it was like a switch flipped as soon as they were married.
#35
I got a job in another country, to start 9 months later and at the time we were thinking of getting back together. We decided to enjoy our time together (we had regrets about our first go round and at least wanted to enjoy eachother's company before I left) and continue with a relationship.
During those months we traveled together and became a lot closer, including one long 2 month trip. As the date for me to leave neared we panicked and found our only option was to get married.
We fought for months to make our way through multiple bureaucracies. On a break from work I flew to meet her in a third country and we got married there. Then a couple of months later we had her visa and she was with me in our new country.
Not exactly your question but it was about a month and a half after she arrived, that she left.
What happened? I don't know. I wasn't ready to be married. She wasn't ready to be a partner. in the grander sense of career and planning and whatnot. Mostly though I think it was just an impossible situation. From my perspective I was exhausted from planning everything. She let me imbibe my worst tendencies towards laziness, when I had imagined we would go do things together (it's hard to be motivated to go out when it doesn't seem like the other person really wants to). Whereas before the 'what if' question ate me up inside, after I realized these problems weren't going away it was a pretty quick and easy decision for her to go home. I felt like we had tried our best and failed, and I was ok with that.
The whole thing fell apart in less than a week. I often question that, but always conclude the decision was correct. I think the problems that split us up existed long before under the surface so it wasn't really out of nowhere. I do feel guilty because for her it may well have been completely out of nowhere.
I still sort of consider her my wife, we call each other 'dear' still, if I ever got around to arranging the particulars I would have her inherit everything if I died. I don't pine for her or love her romantically but she's someone I cared for a lot. I don't plan on ever seeing her again.
Tom De Paul 8 months ago
It sounds like you're both playing games in your mind. I don't think either of you know what you want. I don't see any agency here. It all just seems lazy.
#36
All the issues we had before were not magically fixed because we were married. And I didn’t want to go through with the wedding but couldn’t bring myself to break up. I also felt sort of trapped because we had spent a large amount of money, and our parents had contributed as well. We had lived together for years so i chalked it up to cold feet.
Honestly I was dumb and immature and wish I would’ve handled it so many other ways.
#37
Throw-A-Way due to ongoing reasons and disclaimer I knew within a month but divorce is still pending. I was with my girl for 7 years, we'd known each other for almost 10 by the time we got married. Leading up I started to have doubts and I chalked it up to cold feet. There were definitely things I didn't like about her personality which again I thought was normal for being with someone that long and I found myself not wanting to be physical with her very much.
Anyways I did obvious thing and married her anyways hoping it would spark something for me, and lesson learned it definitely didn't. I played it out for a while, we had a honeymoon scheduled a few months after the wedding, I again was hoping something would spark and I'd turn a corner with how I was feeling and the honeymoon came and went and nothing changed. Worst part was being in paradise seeing all these couples and knowing they were probably going at it like bunnies in their rooms while I didn't really want to do anything with my now wife.
Fast-forward a little bit I was really busy so it was easy to play off, I was telling myself I would fake it until I make it but I found myself feeling more and more detached and I know I was getting distant, at one point she asks me what's going on and I told her how I was feeling. Within a month I moved out, waiting now to do a (hopefully) non-contested divorce because it's been too long for an annulment.
I messed up, I made a big mistake and I know it. Unlike a lot of these stories I never proved she cheated or anything, she is a nice person most of the time, wanted to be physical a lot more than I did in the relationship, I never cheated on her, we were just best friends, but at the end of the day I didn't LOVE her and wanted to be with her physically. During the wedding I didn't even think about my feelings until after the party was over I was just having a good time with all my close friends and family. I know I hurt someone badly who really didn't deserve it, worst part is I don't feel bad for how I feel, I feel worse knowing how she feels, and I'm really worried she's going to get a lawyer and s***w me over in the divorce.
Dragon mama 10 months ago
Totally lost me in the last sentence. I was feeling some empathy, thinking somebody messed up but he's seeing the light and then *blam* he goes and proves he's still only thinking of himself.
Melissa Harris 10 months ago
Dude sounds so apathetic to his relationship. He didn't like his GF but got married?! Like what? That's usually the point you break up. He actually sounds depressed and should see a therapist.
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What do you think ?
GalPalAl 10 months ago
Unless you need to be married for reasons like having children, or needing to be related due to illness, why are so many people in a hurry? Look at Kurt and Goldie for example.
Sue Ellen Jensen 10 months ago
The older and wiser I get, the more I think having a ring and a piece of paper is old-fashioned, unless you're desperate to have kids, which I don't care for, either.
Load More Replies... GalPalAl 10 months ago
Unless you need to be married for reasons like having children, or needing to be related due to illness, why are so many people in a hurry? Look at Kurt and Goldie for example.
Sue Ellen Jensen 10 months ago
The older and wiser I get, the more I think having a ring and a piece of paper is old-fashioned, unless you're desperate to have kids, which I don't care for, either.
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