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33 Netizens Share The Exact Moments When They Thought “No Way Am I Marrying This Person”
It seems that we hear stories about relationships ending nearly every day. Usually, people don’t make such life-altering decisions easily; there are events, dynamics, and many other things leading to it.
That’s what this Reddit thread is about – the reasons and ways people realized the person they were involved with wasn’t “the one” for them. The variety of shared stories creates quite an entertaining (and even eye-opening) list for us, so without further ado, let’s dive in, shall we?
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#1
When we got in a fight, he punched a hole in the closet door then went to the liquor store and took his anger out on the wrong person who proceeded to hit him over the back of the head with a bottle and give him a skull fracture. He was absolutely insufferable. Refused treatment by the ambulance, refused to let me take him to the ER, refused a second ambulance treatment. He had a splitting headache for days and finally he let me take him to the ER after like 6 days and he found out he had a skull fracture. When he got out, he needed 24/7 observation for 2 weeks and I had a job and a kid so I couldn’t do that. I called his mom who came and took him and when he came back, I had all of his stuff packed up in his van ready for him to move out. I did not play.
Papa 1 year ago
Good for OP. That reminds me of a former coworker, whose husband went out drinking, leaving her home with their baby. In the wee hours of the morning he was approached by the police. He got belligerent, so they arrested him and phoned his wife to ask about coming to get him. She refused. They divorced shortly after that.
RELATED:
#2
We were living together, super poor- one of our favourite bands came to town (Big Sugar). We talked about it but it wasn’t in the budget.
Friday night rolls around and he’s getting dressed to go out with the guys.
“Where are you off to?”
“Uh - Big Sugar.”
“What? We talked about this and decided we couldn’t afford to go!”
“Oh, *we* can’t … but *I* can.”.
Janelle Collard 1 year ago
Nah! That's what those large black garbage bags are for + they'll be waiting for him outside the front door when he gets home. : ) (along with uncapped shampoo, body wash, etc., in the bags with his clothes, electronics, etc.)
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Christine Ladyman 5 days ago
How spiteful some people are, especially to those they're meant to love... narcissistic boy child.
#3
I don’t even remember what the argument was about anymore, but when he grabbed me by the throat in the car was the moment. There’s no going back from that or moving forward. Quietly made my exit plans, called off the engagement, and left. That was the first escalation and I don’t doubt that it would have increased over the years had I stayed.
Vinnie 1 year ago
From what I've read, choking a partner is likely to lead to homicide. That's the abusers go-to form of attack and the target is more likely to die from strangulation than broken bones.
Keith Lancaster 1 year ago
Too true. Situations like that almost get worse.
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Gracie Mae 1 year ago
I let a slap slide, but when he picked me up & threw me on the bed to keep me from leaving, I bided my time...I couldn't get out of that bed for 3 days, but when I did, I was gone in 60 seconds
Daddy’s Girl 11 months ago
I had a similar situation with my fiancé. He had never raised his voice but he was always suspicious when I looked at other men. I let that ride until the day he put his fingers on my chest and pushed me hard enough that I slammed my head against the headboard of the bed. I was gone the next day.
Daddy’s Girl 5 months ago
When I was much younger and engaged, my fiancé and I got into an argument. I don’t remember what the argument was about, but he got so angry he put all five fingers of one hand on my chest and shoved me so hard onto the bed that I smacked my head on the headboard. I threw the ring at him.
Many people are afraid of asking others out, usually due to being afraid of rejection or simply nervousness. If they manage this fear and end up going on a date with someone they like, from time to time the dates turn into committed relationships.
Granted, there is no exact number of dates that “force” people into the said relationship. It all depends on the people involved – how much they like each other, how their communication is going, and whether they can even imagine themselves being serious about each other.
#4
We were at my parents house and got a good deal of snow overnight. In the morning I went out to help my mom shovel. He sat on our couch on his phone for almost 2 hours while my mom and I shoveled. He had winter clothes with him. We had extra shovels. I asked if he wanted to help and he just said no. It didn't itch at his conscience in the slightest to see me and my mom out the window working while he played angry birds.
I wasn't mad. It's not his house or his driveway. He was a guest. But I just knew in that moment our sense of care or duty or responsibility (or something along those lines) did not align and we had an expiration date.
Lyoness 1 year ago
Lazy bugger. Definitely the right thing to kick his a$$ to the (snowy) curb.
Stannous Flouride 1 year ago
Hopefully right before the snowplow came through and buried his useless carcass.
Load More Replies... CD Mills 1 year ago
My late husband wouldn't have thought to stop me or my mom from doing anything we set out to do, but he would absolutely offer to help. My husband was very happy that I loved living out on a ranch and helping him do everything out there. He was happy to teach me anything I wanted to learn and was confident in my skills. I'm a fair hand at plumbing, and carpentry, I can BACK a truck and six-horse trailer through a coral gate! My husband knew I was competent in whatever I set out to do but he always let me know if I needed a hand to just holler. But just being lazy? He couldn't have looked himself in the mirror, he didn't have that much selfishness in him.
Kelly Scott 1 year ago
This is like the time I came home with a splitting headache. My brother was visiting at the time. I accidentally dropped my lemonade in the kitchen and angrily said, "Just leave it!" Then I took 3 aspirin and went to bed. Now any other normal person would have had some empathy and cleaned up the lemonade. Not my stupid brother, who is still not married by the way at age 65. I woke up the next morning and the first thing I saw was that lemonade still on the floor. "But you said to leave it!" says my clueless brother when I snarled about having to still clean it up (I would have the night before, but not with the blistering headache I had then).
Tommy DePaul 11 months ago
Sorry. I take you at your word. That's where my respect for you lies. You tell me to leave it; I will leave it. I don't play those games.
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The Starsong Princess 1 year ago
This happened with my sister’s boyfriend. The cleaner’s car was stuck in the driveway after a big snowfall. My sister and I, two petite women, were out there trying to push her out. Her boyfriend refused to come help because he wanted to take a nap. Fortunately, a neighbor saw us and came running out to help and we were able to get her out. I knew every man in my family would have jumped into help without hesitation ((we’re Canadian) and the boyfriend was not a standup guy. I told her that day not to marry him and fortunately, she didn’t.
Karen Bryan 10 months ago
Any halfway decent guest without a physical handicap would pick up a shovel and help.
Sudeep Sarkar 10 months ago
What? It was bonding time with your mom. He didn't want to get in the way.
#5
I found a text to his friend saying he saw no future with me. We had been together 4 years and he had recently convinced me to leave my high paying job to move to a small town for his career .
Ellinor 1 year ago (edited)
What an a*****e ! Isolating you from your friends and family, forcing you to quit your job you worked for and all that while perfectly knowing he would breakup one day ?! That's psycho behaviour !
KieLeaHar 11 months ago
Ah, been there. Wasted nearly 9 years with a narcissistic loser because I was scared of being alone… it’s been the best thing for me. My life has turned to hell on earth since we broke up so for other reasons I don’t date but because it was my first serious relationship I did what he asked; I stopped speaking to all guy friends I had because he was a jealous moron, he caused me to lose ALL of my friends and he eventually made me buy a house with him well over an hour away from MY parents/family, but LITERALLY 30’seconds from his mother’s house.. I could write for ages on this topic.
#6
The moment she walked out when I told her I had liver cancer. Her council of women told her she deserved better than a sick... F!?K
Went into remission she tried crawling back.
WalterWhiteSavannah 1 year ago
It's not funny haha, but I did chuckle. Reminds me of when I almost died due to undiagnosed diverticulitis (numerous doctors kept saying I was too young for that to be the cause of losing 80lbs and intense daily pain and vomiting) the girl I was seeing finally visited me during my 3 months in hospital and broke up with me because "it was too stressful for her." Honeslty the massive amount of opiates they had me on probly helped, but I have never given less of a f**k about being dumped.
Nicole Weymann 1 year ago
I knew this guy whose first wife left him. When years later his second wife got cancer he whined "why does this always happen to me?" Well, duh, I'm sure fate has you on its bad list, what with YOUR PARTNER getting sick and all that. It did give me a clue as to why his first wife might have left him, though. (That, and alcoholism - I was a/his part time server at the time)
Load More Replies... Lyoness 1 year ago
I don't get how people can leave someone because of a serious illness. That's when you stay because you love them and they need you. She did not love this person.
Danny Phantom 10 months ago
Only up to a point. If some (long term) illness requires round the clock care, it’s rather selfish to expect them to stick around for something they never signed up for in the first place. The sacrifice needed to take care of those people can be immense. I really admire the people who do stick around and make those sacrifices, but it’s not something you (or anyone) should expect them to make. That being said, I do think that you should at least try to do your best for them instead of walking out at the first sign of adversity.
Load More Replies... Lene 1 year ago
Why is this a thing? I remember when my mom called me rather upset because someone in her class (she took some new education when she was in her 50s) told her "oh, so you're gonna leave him now, right?" right after my mom had told her of her husband's first cancer diagnosis. My mom was very upset and had asked her classmate what she meant "oh, it's just that nobody wants to be with a sick person" and my mom was so furious. She's still with her husband and he's had cancer on/off for years now. I don't expect him to survive many more years but at least he has his wife by his side. And I think my mom takes some pride in this even though he's an a-hole to her quite often (which is just how their relationship works, I guess)
Widdershins66 10 months ago
They reckon there's a 1 in 2 chance of developing cancer these days! We all need each other x
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KatSaidWhat 1 year ago
I'd make her crawl over broken glass and then still tell her to foxtrot after.
Daddy’s Girl 11 months ago
Sincerely hope you are still in remission or totally recovered so you can find a GF worthy of you
At first, these relationships can be basically perfect. In fact, there’s even the whole phenomenon called the honeymoon phase. During it, the relationship seems carefree and happy. People still seem fascinating and they can’t spend much time apart. Typically, this lasts from 6 months to 2 years.
Then, the bubble pops and the phase ends. A couple gets used to each other and the initial limerence evaporates. The relationship becomes a thing from their daily life, not a highlight of it. Sounds kind of sad, doesn’t it? Well, it doesn’t have to be.
#7
When she asked me to bring her home fries after work. So I stopped into McDonalds and got her two large fries. I came in with them. She proceeded to take the bag from me, open it up, pull out the fries and throw them in the trash right in front of me. I was pretty shocked and asked what was wrong, "I wanted frozen fries!" then asked why I even came over. This caused me to think really hard about things in the past and there were so many other incidents like this that I just brushed off. Then I realized no matter what I did she would resent and not be happy with me.
Learner Panda 1 year ago
What a strange reaction, given it was her fault she wasn't clear in asking for what she wanted.
Helena 1 year ago
Right? Even if they weren't frozen fries, they were fries. Who throws out fries?
Load More Replies... KatSaidWhat 1 year ago
Guaranteed had you bought her frozen fries, she was trashing those too, because she is trash.
Annabel Again 1 year ago
I'm glad you got out so many people keep making excuses for someone because they love them realizing the other person isn't ever going to appreciate reciprocate etc run run indeed
#8
Her parents caught us mid-elopement in the backyard, just as her dog—draped in a scarf—was about to officiate. Fifty stuffed animals looked on as witnesses, their button eyes filled with silent judgment. Before we could seal the deal, her mom called out, “Hey, come inside, it’s time for lunch.” So, we abandoned our vows, switched gears, and spent the afternoon playing pirate and princess instead. We never went back to our wedding day after that. Guess the magic was one-time-only.
CF 1 year ago
Plot twist- they were in their early 40s and it was to be a second marriage for each.
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#9
"If you were a real man you would have hit me for flirting with him"
No, just no.
XenoMurph 1 year ago
Really? You are blaming an imaginary man for this lady's craziness?
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Sarah Matsoukis 1 year ago
If you were a decent woman you wouldn't flirt with other people, especially not just to get a reaction from me
Vinnie 1 year ago (edited)
I come from a place where mild flirting isn't a big deal. It can be subtle, such as eye contact and a slight smile while passing a stranger on the street. The goal is to feel attractive or make the other person feel attractive. Basically, it's flattery. Doing it specifically to get a reaction from one's partner is frowned on. So yes, where I'm from, that woman above would be viewed as wrong, wrong, wrong.
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Linda Riebel 1 year ago
In Mozart's opera Don Giovanni, one of the sopranos sings to her fiance, "Beat me, beat me." Not the only reason I hate that opera, but one of them.
Well, for some it is, as they start wondering if the relationship isn’t as good as they thought. They might feel less in sync with their partner, might lose some intimacy, and things like that.
On the other hand, for others, the honeymoon phase ends when the “actual” relationship starts. They start to see each other for what kind of people they are day-to-day. Their flaws become more apparent too. Some couples find ways to incorporate (or work around) each other’s quirks into their lives, while for others it becomes something that destroys them.
#10
A friend told me:
"it's been a year that I hear you tell me the same stories about him, the same rants, the same complaints. I don't tire of you my friend, but don't you tire of repeating yourself? Will you be telling me the same words in 6 months, 6 years, 16 years?".
#11
When I poured my heart out to her, talking about the things that I was passionate about, and then she looked at me and said, "I'm bored", with a self-amused look on her face, like she thought she was being cute.
Janelle Collard 1 year ago
Good thing the red flags waved themselves all over this before they got too serious. :)
Myoviridae 1 year ago
Agreed. I actually like it when people show me they are awful. Saves a lot of time and effort.
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Michael Largey 1 year ago
Suddenly having to find your own way home is a sure cure for boredom.
#12
We were talking about his night; he’d had a mate over to hang out.
Him: “ got pretty drunk.”
Me: “oh so is he crashing at yours tonight then?”
Him: “no, he drove home.”
Me: “wait, you let him drive home drunk?!”
Him: “I’m not on the road, what do I care?”
Me: … … …
I realised then that yeah this guy was hot af, but dead cold inside. Zero empathy.
He would’ve happily stayed with me permanently too. But 3 weeks after I ended our 3.5yr relationship, he was with another person. I quite literally meant nothing to him.
BrownEyedPanda 1 year ago
An eight-ton one at that. Can you imagine him behind the wheel of a car after tossing back a few drinks, saying that it's not a big deal?
Load More Replies... WalterWhiteSavannah 1 year ago
When I was 19 we had some annoying dude who kept refusing to leave when my gf and I told him we were going to bed. I told him he could crash on the couch and my ex got mad at me for offering that saying I shoulda made him drive. Like lady he can barely stand I'm not gonna force him into his car just to get rid of him.
Nicole Weymann 1 year ago
I HATE the "not my problem" attitude with a passion! Sure, you can't make every problem you come across YOUR problem. But stopping potential troubles from growing into catastrophes (as above), or not unneccessarily making other people's lives harder (retail/service staff for example) costs little and helps A LOT on the basis of "what goes around comes around" or "don't do unto others".
That brings us to today’s topic. On November 27, 2024, one Reddit user asked, “At what point did you realize she would never become your wife/he would never become your husband?” on r/AskReddit. And, oh boy, people had a lot to say.
Right now, a few days later, the thread has received nearly 7K replies. So, we decided to create a list of the most interesting ways people realized their partner wouldn’t be their future "one."
For some, it was just their intuition telling them it was not the right fit or their friends or family opening their eyes about it. For others, it was some event that ruined the relationship for good, like, sadly, domestic violence. Since we don't want to spoil it too much for you, check out the list yourself!
#13
I went for a minor medical procedure and my gut told me that listing him as my emergency contact wasn’t the right choice.
Sand Ers 11 months ago
That only works when you're reasonably emotionally sound. For some people, the gut is constantly screaming warnings, and also quietly undermining everything you decide or believe. For them, knowing when to ignore the gut is key.
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#14
She chose alcohol over me. She was in the hospital with liver failure from alcohol for the 3rd time. I packed my s**t & left. I’m Still alcohol free 423 days later.
Widdershins66 10 months ago
Yes, Respiratory depression due acute alcohol poisoning isnt... life 😭
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#15
When i cried about him doing nothing for my birthday or valentines day and he ignored me and watched thirst traps on tiktok as i sobbed next to him in bed.
or when i asked him him why he was constantly lying to me and him replying "well there's no consequences, so...".
Christine Ladyman 5 days ago
Cold and arrogant. These types want someone in their bed and a housekeeper... no soul.
ROSESARERED 5 months ago
My ex didn't celebrate my birthday, but made a big deal out of valentines day. When I told him I'd prefer to celebrate my birthday, he said he didn't care, because he didn't like celebrating his. Felt unseen and unloved.
While breakups are usually a painful experience, sometimes they’re the best option out there. As Aldrin Nacu put it, "They're another face of love." Breakups can be a perfect opportunity for growth, self-discovery, and the beginning of a new chapter of life. Sometimes a person you're in a relationship with isn't the right fit for you and the end of it presents a chance to find someone who is.
This puts the stories in today's list in a whole different perspective – they're not sad endings of love, they are the beginnings of it. That sounds way more comforting, doesn't it?
#16
When I called her out on using lies to cover lies and instead of owning up/apologizing, she hit me in the head with a metal water bottle.
Strings 1 year ago
My natural reactions might cause me to go a bit further. Not intentionally, but if she was still in arm's reach, my lizard brain would percieve a continuing threat
Load More Replies... #17
When he admitted he'd caused someone to have a serious car accident on purpose because he didn't want to let them merge on a busy street. I stopped trusting him entirely.
Earonn - 1 year ago
How can someone have a serious car accident because someone else didn't let them merge? don't you just stop in the worst case once you reach the end of the merging line? Don't get me wrong, BF was a PoS and it's good OP left him, but as someone who wasn't let merged - during my driving licence exam, no less - I can't see how that leads to an accident? Unless I'm missing something here?
#18
He told me he didn’t want me to go to a concert for a band we both liked because he was taking his new girlfriend and didn’t want there to be any issues. That is how I found out that we weren’t exclusive. Broke up straight away. About two years later we met randomly and he ended up crying about how unhappy he was with her, how much he missed me and how even though they lived together he slept on the couch. Yeah sure bud.
#19
Left town for two weeks for a trip through the wilderness. I missed her like crazy and thought about how great it will be to see her once I get back. As soon as I get back home I call her and the first thing she says is “oh wow, I didn’t think about you at all.” That really hurt, but was the wake-up call I needed for that terrible relationship.
Bec 1 year ago (edited)
Drove an hour to pick him up from the airport after he'd been away at his parents for a week. No hello, I've missed you, just immediate temper tantrum about airport security hurrying us along at the pick up. He was still ranting and raving while I was navigating out of the airport and I missed the exit, causing us to have to drive an extra 30 minutes in the snow out of the way.
#20
When I realized I was making excuses for his behavior instead of feeling proud to call him mine.
#21
When he lost his job and 2 years later I started to put a dot on the calendar whenever he went to the casino while I was at work. The fact that I felt the need to do it was telling enough, but then when faced with it he flat out denied how often he was going. He was going 3-4 times a week, and I found out later he was thousands of dollars in debt. I was outta there.
Boredest Panda 1 year ago
It’s not your partner’s job to make you a better person. They are there to make you feel loved, not to raise you. If you aren’t responsible enough to take care of yourself how can you possible be responsible enough to take care of a relationship?
Load More Replies... #22
He mocked the fact that my father walked out on us when I was 8.
#23
When he hyped up my birthday present for a month and it was a $12 pair of red framed sunglasses from Target. That’s it.
Also, when we were together for 7 years and he was asking me if he should make a “huge decision”. I thought he meant an engagement ring. This m**o was asking ME if he should cheat on *me* in subtext when he asked me if he should make this *huge* decision. Dude was E V I L.
#24
When my mother took her last breath in front of me I became very distraught to say the least. Among a lot of bad other things like losing my friend group, family being vultures over my mother’s estate, father pulling shady moves that I’m 99% sure he did to stress out my mom to make her die faster… etc. Poured it all out to my gf at the time and she told me I was too much to deal with.
I didn’t have to make the choice though because she up and cut herself out of my life. She decided to pull a full ghosting while I was busy struggling to set up all the after death particulars like the funeral.
Kael jones 1 year ago
There are way too many on this earth. Male included…
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CD Mills 1 year ago
I think some people need to be reminded that not everybody is pragmatic about the 'particulars' of arranging funerals and all that comes with them. I have known grown-a*s adults who have never gone to a funeral because they were shielded FROM death and funerals all of their lives. I think this happens when someone has a bad experience with something death or funeral adjacent and when they have kids they never take them to funerals or the gatherings that can happen around deaths. I'd like to hear the other side, she may have never been this 'close' to someone dying and is just freaking out not knowing how to handle anything to do death and dying. Yes, there is a real chance that this gal is just cold-hearted but there are many other reasons it could be as well.
Tommy DePaul 5 months ago
Why write all of that? Just say, "it's Bored Panda - it can't be her fault." Switch the genders. Are you still so understanding of the man's lack of support of his grieving girlfriend?
Load More Replies... #25
He was showing me pictures from his trip to Mexico (he goes 3 months a year for family) and scrolled past an album titled "mi amor". It wasn't of me. We had been together 6 years.
#26
When he proposed. I knew he didn't mean it when he asked, and I knew it didn't count when I said yes. We'd been together for six years, and I was telling him I was unhappy with the fact that things had stagnated. It was one of many talks like that, and I was crying. He knelt down and asked me to marry him. I felt like I had to say yes, so I did. But I knew in the moment it wasn't real. We cuddled for a few minutes before I said I didn't think he'd meant it. His response was, "Well, you kind of forced my hand."
The whole thing felt so gross and so unfair.
Nothing changed after that; we never talked about that moment again. I broke up with him a few months later.
Apatheist Account2 1 year ago
Had a similar experience - she has been talking about marriage and pretty much stared at me until I proposed. I wasn't against the idea but it had only been 3 or 4 months. She left on the day we had originally scheduled for the wedding.
#27
When his side of the conversation changed from “when we get married” to “when I get married”.
#28
I dated a woman who turned into a beast when she was hungry. It happened often. Right after eating she would be fine. She would say things like “wow I feel so much better now” etc. When I pointed out the correlation between being hangry and the difficulties it caused she refused to see it, refused the idea that hunger was what caused her to be so different. So I knew she was a complete moron and it would never work out.
Learner Panda 1 year ago
"Hangry" is a thing, but most adults / grown ups have figured it out by the time they leave school.
Fire Singer 1 year ago
Or have the decency to admit, "listen, I'm hungry and not going to say anything nice until I get tacos in my belly!"
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Rednose 9 months ago
OP shouldn't be so quick to dismiss. Low blood sugar can cause people to act in ways they usually wouldn't. I've had issues since my teens with getting at least cranky if my blood sugar falls. Any sort of food will take care of the issue in short order. My wife knows anything bad I say isn't really directed at her and she'll just tell me to shut up and eat something. I've learned to eat frequent smaller meals and to carry some sort of snack with me if I go out.
Tommy DePaul 11 months ago
Gotta have some basic level of self awareness of your own behavior. I bet this was not her only "blind spot."
#29
When he said he was unsure about getting married to me and was telling me what I wanted to hear for almost 10 years.
Kathrin Pukowsky 1 year ago
OP wanted to hear their partner say that he was unsure about getting mearried to them?
Boredest Panda 1 year ago
I thought it was that too, but I think it means he doesn’t know if he wants to marry OP, and for the past 10 years they’d been together, he didn’t actually mean he wanted to get married to her but said so because that’s what she wanted to hear.
Load More Replies... #30
I realized (with the previous bf) that that person wouldn't become my husband when he wouldn't reciprocate my efforts nor consider my options too. Our goals were too different and we weren't compatible.
#31
When I took her to a movie that I had wanted to see for several years and the only thing she said after was, "We don't have a lot of things in common.".
Lisbeth Guz 1 year ago
Not having the movie in common is not a problem, each can enjoy different things. The problem is not showing interest in what your partner likes, and not making an effort to find a common ground, if not every time, once in a while.
#32
Small fights started to last longer and with less provocation. And she wasn't particularly eager to make up afterwards.
Basically, when she stopped trying.
JK 12 months ago
I'm sorry, but if you're arguing all the time and 1 person "wasn't particularly eager to make up" - you have to wonder *who* instigated the fights, and *who* had had enough of them and had emotionally cut ties
Danny Phantom 10 months ago
You realize it’s typically the responsibility of the instigator to make up, right?
Load More Replies... #33
She just kept leaving town, I soon realised that it was building up to leaving permanently.
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What do you think ?
Doctor Strange 1 year ago
For me, I'd say it was about the time she admitted she was deliberately trying to make me commit suicide.
Lyoness 1 year ago
I don't even know what to say about that except how sorry I am that that happened to you and how glad I am to know you aren't together any more.
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Wysteria_Rose 1 year ago
I dated him for five going on six years, but I had this "oh sh*t" moment when his grandmother referred to me as her future granddaughter-in-law. Suddenly, it hit me that getting married meant a lifetime of our relationship, and I did NOT want it. We had been stagnant, he could be downright cold and belittling while refusing therapy that I felt he needed. I ended it and he got so angry and said, "I haven't felt anything for you for years, I was still willing to go through with it." Proved my point.
Kathy 1 year ago
My first boyfriend said he wanted to marry me, but decided he would rape me as I didn't want to have sex with him. He didn't succeed as I managed to beat him up and leave him writhing in pain on the floor. Later he called me up saying he wanted to kill me. The upside of that incident, apart from being a wakeup call, was that it gave me the confidence to know I could defend myself. I wasn't in love with him and could see that he was not really a great guy, but he was the first guy who had ever been interested in me, so I kept going out with him until then.
Lene 1 year ago
Sounds quite a bit like the first relationship I ever had. And about 6months after the break up he started to email me asking me how things were. In the end he just wanted to know how many guys I'd slept with after him. I said 3 and he thought I was being such a s.lut for that (because it was more ppl than he'd slept with) and he got very very hostile in the emails so I had to inform him that if he ever contacted me again, I'd call the police. I never heard from him again but I still decided to leave the city because I didn't felt safe on the street (what if I met him? I was so traumatised from the relationship with him that I wasn't sure if I'd get fullblown anxiety attacks if I met him or if I'd end up in prison for killing him. So I just left).
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StrangeOne 1 year ago (edited)
When we realized we were considered common-law spouses after living with each other for a while, with pretty much the same benefits and rights as a legally married couple, except with an easier exit out of the relationship. I'm glad I didn't marry my last boyfriend. I still got a wear a ring.
Nikole 1 year ago
I found out yesterday that the guy I was with for like 11 years has a new girlfriend (he moved out around a year ago). It’s just a weird feeling… I keep having to remind myself about the bad stuff.
CF 1 year ago
Stay strong! Assuming you were pleased he moved out (or at least that you thought it was for the best.) I remember those weird feelings when an ex found a significant other before I did. Just because some other poor girl has fallen for his c**p doesn't mean he has changed. Ppl rarely change in a meaningful way (relationship-wise) over the course of a short year.
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WayoftheStarPrincess 1 year ago
When I looked at him with annoyance because he wanted to talk seriously about our sex life (that was only barely a thing at all) and I had to admit to myself that my conversion therapy experiment on my self wasn't working and I really was a fully fledged lesbian. He didn't deserve being treated like a science project by me no matter how much I wanted to be straight and not have to deal with being shunned by my churchy friends. We did manage to stay friends, me and the guy, because he was a sweetheart through all of it once he'd been allowed to be sad. And I ditched the churchy crowd anyway a year later. Nothing against religious people but I grew up around conservative pentcostal people and it skewed my world view a bit despite my parents being atheist.
Nitka Tsar 1 year ago
My first real relationship there were lots of things, but the situation I can remember best is, when I visited him and he left me alone half of the time but then complained that I was reading a book and pretended to throw it into the fire.
FreeTheUnicorn 1 year ago
None of these posts are about deciding there was no point in getting married, they are all about knowing there was no point in continuing the relationship. Seems a waste to confuse the two.
Tiger 1 year ago
There were a few that specifically mentioned marriage. And the majority of relationships continue to the point of marriage, so it’s not a big stretch.
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Ruth Watry 10 months ago
For me it was traveling with him. Despite the fact that he made well into 6 figures, he was stealing towels and robes from hotels (taking them from maid carts so that they would not know who stole them).
Doctor Strange 1 year ago
For me, I'd say it was about the time she admitted she was deliberately trying to make me commit suicide.
Lyoness 1 year ago
I don't even know what to say about that except how sorry I am that that happened to you and how glad I am to know you aren't together any more.
Load More Replies... Wysteria_Rose 1 year ago
I dated him for five going on six years, but I had this "oh sh*t" moment when his grandmother referred to me as her future granddaughter-in-law. Suddenly, it hit me that getting married meant a lifetime of our relationship, and I did NOT want it. We had been stagnant, he could be downright cold and belittling while refusing therapy that I felt he needed. I ended it and he got so angry and said, "I haven't felt anything for you for years, I was still willing to go through with it." Proved my point.
Kathy 1 year ago
My first boyfriend said he wanted to marry me, but decided he would rape me as I didn't want to have sex with him. He didn't succeed as I managed to beat him up and leave him writhing in pain on the floor. Later he called me up saying he wanted to kill me. The upside of that incident, apart from being a wakeup call, was that it gave me the confidence to know I could defend myself. I wasn't in love with him and could see that he was not really a great guy, but he was the first guy who had ever been interested in me, so I kept going out with him until then.
Lene 1 year ago
Sounds quite a bit like the first relationship I ever had. And about 6months after the break up he started to email me asking me how things were. In the end he just wanted to know how many guys I'd slept with after him. I said 3 and he thought I was being such a s.lut for that (because it was more ppl than he'd slept with) and he got very very hostile in the emails so I had to inform him that if he ever contacted me again, I'd call the police. I never heard from him again but I still decided to leave the city because I didn't felt safe on the street (what if I met him? I was so traumatised from the relationship with him that I wasn't sure if I'd get fullblown anxiety attacks if I met him or if I'd end up in prison for killing him. So I just left).
Load More Replies... StrangeOne 1 year ago (edited)
When we realized we were considered common-law spouses after living with each other for a while, with pretty much the same benefits and rights as a legally married couple, except with an easier exit out of the relationship. I'm glad I didn't marry my last boyfriend. I still got a wear a ring.
Nikole 1 year ago
I found out yesterday that the guy I was with for like 11 years has a new girlfriend (he moved out around a year ago). It’s just a weird feeling… I keep having to remind myself about the bad stuff.
CF 1 year ago
Stay strong! Assuming you were pleased he moved out (or at least that you thought it was for the best.) I remember those weird feelings when an ex found a significant other before I did. Just because some other poor girl has fallen for his c**p doesn't mean he has changed. Ppl rarely change in a meaningful way (relationship-wise) over the course of a short year.
Load More Replies... WayoftheStarPrincess 1 year ago
When I looked at him with annoyance because he wanted to talk seriously about our sex life (that was only barely a thing at all) and I had to admit to myself that my conversion therapy experiment on my self wasn't working and I really was a fully fledged lesbian. He didn't deserve being treated like a science project by me no matter how much I wanted to be straight and not have to deal with being shunned by my churchy friends. We did manage to stay friends, me and the guy, because he was a sweetheart through all of it once he'd been allowed to be sad. And I ditched the churchy crowd anyway a year later. Nothing against religious people but I grew up around conservative pentcostal people and it skewed my world view a bit despite my parents being atheist.
Nitka Tsar 1 year ago
My first real relationship there were lots of things, but the situation I can remember best is, when I visited him and he left me alone half of the time but then complained that I was reading a book and pretended to throw it into the fire.
FreeTheUnicorn 1 year ago
None of these posts are about deciding there was no point in getting married, they are all about knowing there was no point in continuing the relationship. Seems a waste to confuse the two.
Tiger 1 year ago
There were a few that specifically mentioned marriage. And the majority of relationships continue to the point of marriage, so it’s not a big stretch.
Load More Replies... Ruth Watry 10 months ago
For me it was traveling with him. Despite the fact that he made well into 6 figures, he was stealing towels and robes from hotels (taking them from maid carts so that they would not know who stole them).
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