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“I Would Call The Dads First”: 51 Acts Of Microfeminism Women Practice On The Daily
Dear ladies and your/their creation... For decades, feminism fought loudly for the right to vote, workplace equality, reproductive freedom, to be able to sign our own documents, and so much more. We've come a long way since then but the battle is far from over. Behind the marches, hashtags and manifestos lies a more quiet form of resistance. It's low-effort and high-impact. Petty. Personal. Sometimes even a little unhinged.
We're talking about micro-feminism: a movement that's been silently gaining momentum over the years. It's everywhere... Online. Offline. In the boardroom. In the bedroom…
Women around the world are causing chaos - and leveling the playing field - with clever clap backs and creative acts that help them reclaim their rightful throne in society.
Someone recently asked people to share the most unhinged ways they practice micro-feminism, and the answers might make many a “small” grown man squirm. From the funny, to the witty, to the downright savage, women are proving that sometimes the biggest revolutions aren't loud or noble, just deeply inconvenient and uncomfortable. Bored Panda has put together a list of the best for you to scroll through for some epic inspiration. Don't forget to upvote your favorites.
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#1
I reassured my husband that since he invited his family for Thanksgiving that he didn't have to worry. I would help him. Just tell me what to do and I will help
so don't get overwhelmed.
Alexandra 12 hours ago
Just exercising my imagination: hubby has invited his family without talking to his wife first, his family expects the traditional full-on spread and hubby expects his wife to cook it all with him just dicing an onion here and there because he 'doesn't know how to cook' and is 'overwhelmed' easily, which is interpreted by his wife as weaponized incompetence. Wife decides 'your decision, your family, your dinner' and bows out gracefully, offering help but not direction. Would love to hear what happened later...
Many women are done...
Done inflating or cushioning men's egos. Done being polite to the point of going unseen. Done keeping quiet while he mansplains or hepeats after rudely interrupting. They're done, but they're not going to make a loud fuss about it.
Instead, women have launched a quiet but chaotic revolution. They're intentionally sitting with their legs spread apart on public transport, they're refusing to move out of the way for a man on the sidewalk, they're putting "mom" duties into dad's hands. They're letting men feel the same discomfort they've handed out themselves for centuries.
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#2
When I was feeling overwhelmed with the housework my husband suggested we hire a housekeeper to “help me out.” I told him we should hire a housekeeper to help HIM out as I was already doing my share.
#3
Sometimes I don’t move out of the way when it’s clear a man is going to run into me. I just body check them and say “excuse me?” There was some study done that men will expect a woman to move out of the way if they’re going to run into each other/ going the same way, and every single time I don’t move they run straight into me. The entitlement and expectation I should be the one to move is WILD. Highly recommend all women try!
Vexed Panda 16 hours ago
I do this. Bonus because i'm not just a woman, i'm a little old lady. I've seen other men yell at guys for running into me. Sweeeeet!
Micro-feminism isn't about grand gestures or rebellious activism, says Morgana Jones, a student living in Ireland.
"It's about the small daily actions we take to challenge gender inequality in our lives," she explains. "These are the subtle ways as women we can fight back against bias to help in supporting each other, creating gradual change within our society."
Jones says her own experiences in lectures, work and social spaces have proven that these minor acts can have a profound impact on how women are perceived and treated.
#4
I'm an ER nurse. Whenever I have a pediatric patient, I ask the fathers for the medical history of the child and when they defer to their partner (they do every time) I ask "why don't you know?"
Norfolk and good 9 hours ago
I used to work in the health and social care sector and for safeguarding reasons we'd have to ask new clients if they lived with any children, and if they did we'd have to ask the children's names and d.o.b to check that they weren't known to social services. The amount of men that don't know their children's full d.o.b was astounding. A lot of men had to call their partner to confirm when their child was born.
#5
When men raise their voice at me I tell them they are being emotional and acting hysterical. Then I suggest they take a breather outside. They hate it
#6
Asked a man to explain his sexist joke.
“It was just a joke.”
Yeah but I don’t get it. Why is it funny?
He left expeditiously
Jones adds that since she's started using acts of micro-feminism, she's noticed that people respect her more, and involve her more in discussions. They actively listen and value her opinion.
"As a woman in this society it is hard to feel heard and valued," writes Jones. "By putting myself out there and standing up to men who view themselves above us as women, I've noticed a change. Spreading awareness helps in empowering others around us to make the change also and helps in creating a more equal society."
#7
I ask men how they balance their career with family life
#8
Whenever I hear a man make a misogynistic joke or "jokingly" complain about women, I say "it seems like you enjoy spending time with men much more" And then a half smile as if I know their secret
#9
When a man is not wearing a shirt I call him topless instead of shirtless
NPR calls micro-feminism "the next big thing in fighting the patriarchy." Little acts can go a long way in making big changes, says Dr. Halima Kazem-Stojanovic, a feminist and gender expert at Stanford University.
Kazem-Stojanovic believes it's important to normalize addressing everyday gender biases. "When you start to adjust society's norms, then that has a lasting effect. That has a conscious and a subconscious effect," the expert explained.
#10
I wear suits to most events as Saree is the traditional wear mostly worn by women here... I thrive under the scandalous glances of men like I offended their ancestors
#11
When male colleagues tell me he and his wife are having a baby, I ask if he thinks he will come back to work after the baby is born.
#12
Idk if this ls microfeminism,but whenever I'm involved in a topic about raising children,I always say things likes "where are the parents" instead of "where is the mother"
Alice Rose is a gender and psychology researcher from the University of South Australia's Centre for Workplace Excellence. Rose agrees that while acts of micro-feminism may seem small, they can be highly effective.
"The broader feminist movement is about equality for all, so feeling like you can belong to that movement, that you are in some way doing something that makes the world either a better place, it's small, but improves things … I think that can be really powerful," she explains.
#13
When a man interrupts while a woman is talking, I interrupt him to either tell my opinion or ask the woman to continue by telling her that her point sounded valid or interesting
#14
I’ve changed alexa to a male voice so my son doesn’t get used to asking women to do stuff for him
#15
Saying “whatever makes you feel taller” when a guy is trying to mansplain something
Big Chungus 2 hours ago
I love pointing out to my dad when I am about to "mansplain" something to him
According to Rose, engaging in acts of micro-feminism is an opportunity to meet the three basic psychological needs of Self-Determination Theory: autonomy, competence and relatedness.
"Acts of micro-feminism are a chance to exercise autonomy, build up confidence to be assertive and call things out, which leads to self-efficacy, and when you're supporting others in the workplace by speaking up on behalf of each other, that increases relatedness," explains the expert.
She says that micro-feminism doesn't have to just be about gender but can extend to include people of color, people with disabilities, or people of different faiths. Rose adds that men can also participate in acts of micro-feminism.
#16
I work in retail, if someone says they're looking for a product for a girl I will take them to the kids section and ask how old the girl is, even when I know they meant woman. OH, you said girl, I thought you meant a child. I'll do it for men and
women.
Huddo's sister 11 hours ago
I still refer to myself as a girl, even though I'm an adult. I don't really think it's something to get upset about used in this context, only if it being purposely used to put the woman down.
#17
If men manspread at the metro I do it too, bonus if our legs touch and he ends up closing his legs
#18
Independent mother instead of single mother. Father doesn't get mention if he can't even bother showing up
TotallyNOTAFox 12 hours ago (edited)
Could get awkward if her partner died or otherwise can't be around for some other reason than just not showing up
If you're looking for some ways to engage in micro-feminism (apart from what's on the list), ABC news recommends delegating volunteer tasks at work to male employees, as research shows women are more likely to volunteer for non-promotable tasks than men. We're talking things like organizing farewell gifts, baby showers, etc.
The media outlet adds that when a female colleague is interrupted, you should bring her back into the conversation. "Use 'she' or they' rather than the default 'he' when the person in a position of power is not known," adds the site.
#19
I call women's sports "sports" and men's sports "men's sports"
nicholas nolan 7 hours ago
lol, I just call them all "sports". Hours of unbelievable tedium that I'm expected to care about in order to get by at the office on Monday? Yeah, do not care about the gendering of that activity.
#20
1. I don't make space for men anymore when walking past them on the sidewalk. Why do they always think we're the ones who need to get out of the way? (Exceptions for disabled people or big groups ofc.)
2. I don't lower my voice when talking about women's problems, especially when men are around. I ask for a pad in my normal voice at work in front of my male bosses.
3. When a doctor tries to dismiss my pain and suffering as normal, mental or "just anxiety", I ask them "what if I was male" repeatedly until they shut up and usually they suddenly have an idea what else it could be.
4. If someone tells me they're pregnant, I don't congratulate them. I ask, "Are you happy about it?" and then act accordingly after getting an answer.
5. I talk openly about my salary to be able to compare it to others and spot differences.
6. I immediately exit a conversation when I am interrupted more than three times (except for calls)
7. Not everyone I slept with adds to my body count. Only the ones that made me finish.
8. Opening doors/holding doors open for others, no matter who.
9. I stopped apologizing for every little thing I do.
10. At family gatherings, I make the men help in the kitchen after as well.
11. I respectfully correct people who misgender/deadname people and start a discussion if they refuse.
12. I buy men's razors (and Co.) because I refuse to pay the pink tax.
13. I refuse to buy my friends' babies any type of gendered clothes or toys. Once they're old enough and develop a taste, they get what they like. Until then, it's all green, yellow, red, or purple (mostly)
15. I don't hide behind a male gamer tag just to be "taken serious" in online gaming. I destroy my opponents as a woman, and I'm proud of it.
Vexed Panda 16 hours ago
So much number 6. My boss does this. Then eventually he asks what i was going to say and i tell him i've forgotten, and he's lucky it wasn't something about him being on fire. I don't wait three times anymore. He's been doing it less often.
#21
When they tell me to do something “because you do it so much better than me” I answer “then learn”.
Don't apologize in emails, advises ABC, adding that you should remove the word "just," as well as any exclamation points.
And importantly, if anyone makes a joke in your presence that's considered sexist or offensive to a minority, you should chip in with, "I don't get it, can you explain, please?" or "I'm surprised you feel comfortable saying that out loud."
#22
I'm a kindergarten teacher and whenever a kid gets his clothes dirty or talks about dinner etc I'll say "I'm sure dad can wash that" or "what is daddy gonna make for your dinner today? " Etc. cause dad's can and SHOULD do those things
Shark Lady 12 hours ago
You should use "parents" instead, not every child has a mother or a father at home or even in their life.
#23
I am a dance teacher, I should have a WhatsApp group with parents of my students are, so I can keep them informed. I asked all the kids to give me their dads phone numbers. So now a group of dads is taking care of what costumes their daughters should have.
#24
Everytime someone says that something could be difficult, I reply with, "How difficult could it be? Men do it all the time"
#26
I position high chairs and booster seats for the father to take care of the child during the meal. 50/50 they accept the task or awkwardly move the baby. I’ll wait until the parents are seated so they have to get up to move things around.
George Costanza 6 hours ago
What situation is this even taking place in? Who are you and why are you in charge of where people sit? Where is this happening?
#27
I used to be a teacher. Whenever a kid was sick and needed to be picked up, I would call the dads first
Zoe Vokes 10 hours ago
I would assume that the school would have a form for who to phone first and second, not based on gender but by who is more able to leave work or is at home to come and collect the child. Phoning the men just to annoy them seems like it’d make things harder for everybody.
#28
When a man won't step out of the way first if we are both walking down a narrow hallway, I make an elaborate gesture with my arms and say "M'lady"
nicholas nolan 7 hours ago
I would like to have words with men that don't make way for others in small passages. That's some weak s**t.
#29
It started when i was in primary school. The teachers always asked for strong boys. Raised my hands and shouted, when they picked a boy and said, i am stronger then those boys
#30
When I worked in labor and delivery, I would write out announcement cards with baby’s footprints. I would *always* write the mother’s name first, because she’s the one who did the work.
#31
Whenever I am on a plane, and I see a mother taking care of multiple children, I compliment her on being such a “strong, single mother”. If I’m introduced to her husband, I will ask “ohhhh if he’s with you then why are you doing it all by yourself?”
#33
I always put the woman's name first whenever I have to address couples in real life or even in fiction.
#34
My voice assistant has a male voice 😂 Women should not be the default for “service”
#35
Never underestimate the power of an "okay, diva!"
#36
When I first started my job My employer was always asking me to smile and saying I should give the customers a beautiful smile. So what I started doing was , if I came to the kitchen and he was busy I’ll say “ give me a pretty smile” or if I need to hand him something I’d tease him and say “if you don’t smile , I won’t give it to you.” Then he would smile and I kept doing it and he eventually stopped. If I say he figured what was happening I’d be giving him too much emotional credit , which I doubt he has
#37
As a dentist, when treating a child patient I make eye contact with the dad and asked about the child's allergy so they feel bad that they don't know anything about it. Then I sigh.
#38
1. I don't wear a wedding ring.
2. I don't use 'Mrs' on documentation. I prefer no salutation or 'Ms' if I have to.
3. I refer to single women clients as independant women instead. Same again for single parent families - I refer to them as independant parent families.
4. Organise and address client couples by alphabetical order instead of putting the man first by default.
TotallyNOTAFox 12 hours ago
Isn't "Ms" the default salutation in business correspondence anyways? At least that's how I learned it in business college
#39
Every time I see someone parked terribly I always say “of course it was a man”.
Kelly Scott 2 hours ago
I've seen some terrible men drivers but I've also seen some terrible women drivers too.
#40
I’m a comedian, and every time someone mentions a male comedian that I’ve never heard of I say “never heard of them, I just don’t find men that funny”
George Costanza 6 hours ago
Humor is relative. I find comedians of both sexes funny depending on the comedian. But what I find funny may/may not be the same as what you find funny at all. It's all relative.
#41
“Girls” to refer a group of people rather than “guys”
Chaos Pandas Unite 11 hours ago
Eh, I like not using what feels like the patriarchal default of guys but I like ‘folks.”
#42
I report reels of undressed males cooking on Instagram. I like my males covered up and not on Instagram showing the goods to public.
#43
After learning about a man scientist I immediatly search for his wife to see if he stole her ideas
Power puff scientist 15 hours ago
Must be a lot of wasted hours on google because most couples don't work in exactly the same line of work or field of research.
#44
I walked into the Audi dealerships and asked to work with the female sales person
George Costanza 6 hours ago (edited)
One time I bought a car at a dealership and they sent over their youngest most attractive female sales person, I guess thinking I'd be beguiled into buying from her. Didn't work. I simply demanded the listed online price (that they didn't want to honor) and then walked out when she kept trying to flirt with me. They called two days later and honored the price.
#45
I have a 3y old son. During our car drives, I accuse bad drivers (especially the ones not following the rules) as "MALE DRIVER." Which is right..
Chuck the Cat 11 hours ago
Why assume the gender of someone you haven't even seen yet? Any gender can be bad at things.
#46
Whenever I have to speak Infront of a crowd, I say "Ladies and their creation" instead of "ladies and gentlemen"
TotallyNOTAFox 12 hours ago (edited)
How to make sure not to have to speak infront of crowds anymore?
#48
I’m a server. I do not make eye contact with the man AT ALL. When I greet them, I ask the girl what she wants to drink. Not the man. When I bring food out, the woman gets the food first. 🤣🤣🤣 i take it so seriously
#49
Anytime I see two people in a professional setting, I ask the woman and only listen to her
#50
If I'm approaching a door and a man is too, I like to speed ahead of him and open the door. I try to give them a look of pity. Since they were so weak they couldn't open the door without my help.
George Costanza 6 hours ago
I have no problems with a woman opening a door for me. Or anyone doing so. I've never taken it to mean I must be weak and can't open the door. That's your own weird internal insecurity. We don't feel that way.
#51
I now only read female authors and refer to fantasy by male authors as romantasy and YA .
Jeanbore Dilford 10 hours ago
Your approach shows a certain lack in the intellectual department.....
What do you think ?
PattonPawter 15 hours ago (edited)
IMO the whole point of feminism is equality. I get that some of these people are trying to make a "see how you like it" point, but doing stuff like "only talking to the woman and not the man" or "always assuming the bad driver is a man" is just as toxic. However, the ones about making sure the father is taking care of the child as well is reasonable (especially the one about making sure the dad is aware of his kids' allergies; what if the mom isn't available to take care of the kid?)
Emie N. 1 hour ago
Its not toxic at all. And yes feminism is about equality, but after centuries of misogyny and how women were never seen as equal, using language that has always been targeted toward women, now being directed toward men, is helping society to understand that sexist language should never be used AT ALL. Thats the point.
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PattonPawter 15 hours ago (edited)
IMO the whole point of feminism is equality. I get that some of these people are trying to make a "see how you like it" point, but doing stuff like "only talking to the woman and not the man" or "always assuming the bad driver is a man" is just as toxic. However, the ones about making sure the father is taking care of the child as well is reasonable (especially the one about making sure the dad is aware of his kids' allergies; what if the mom isn't available to take care of the kid?)
Emie N. 1 hour ago
Its not toxic at all. And yes feminism is about equality, but after centuries of misogyny and how women were never seen as equal, using language that has always been targeted toward women, now being directed toward men, is helping society to understand that sexist language should never be used AT ALL. Thats the point.
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