Second only to family, we tend to think of friends as part of an unbreakable group that will be with us through thick and thin. It’s a topic we celebrate in media, from the somewhat uninspiringly named “Friends” to the more chaotic four in “Seinfeld.” But people change and, more importantly, begin to understand their own worth. With that comes the uncomfortable realization that one’s friends might not actually be a good influence.
An internet user asked people what caused them to end a relationship with their best friend. So scroll down and be prepared for tales of betrayal, bad judgment, and generally horrible behavior. Be sure to upvote the most relatable stores and comment your own experiences.
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I was told I couldn't have children after years of wanting nothing more than to be a mother. Even with this knowledge my former bff told me one day that I could never know what love really was because I didn't have kids. I realized that day just how toxic, abusive, and one sided our friendship had always been and cut her from my life.
Turns out the drs were wrong and I'm currently 5 months pregnant with my first child at 40. So yay for happy endings!
My 16 yr old sister got me tickets to the Harry Potter exhibit in New York City when I was 13. Spent her own money on it for two tickets. Me and her. My best friend found out and through a fit to her mother that “ She should be going because she is a bigger fan” and the mother messaged my sister to tell her to give her ticket to her daughter because “ It’s the right thing to do” My sister told her to f**k off and told me immediately
Cherish the great sister, dump the scumbucket "friend" and mother. Smh!!!
I stopped being the first one to reach out every time. Never heard a word from them again.
Same. It sucks and I think about it sometimes, but I know I'm better off
As social creatures, we really do want to have friends around. Sharing experiences, toys or advice are all useful things we get out of having a social circle we can rely on. Besides social support, there is evidence that having a few friends actually helps a child develop empathy and problem-solving skills. It doesn’t actually take much for younger children to become friends, beyond some shared activities. Just turning up to school in the same t-shirt as another kid could be enough.
But, on the topic of losing friends, relationships formed very young tend not to last that long. Often, they are based on circumstances, which change and shared interests, which also change rapidly for younger children. It’s only in one’s teenage years that stronger, longer-lasting friendships start to form. Let’s face it, being a teen isn’t the most enjoyable period of time, so having a buddy helps. And when two or more people go through some uncomfortable experiences together, it creates a sense of solidarity.
I didn't realise that slowly, over twenty years, she'd basically turned me into her own personal therapist.
Every single day, almost 24/7, she'd be calling and texting, expecting me to sort out every single one of her problems, and validate her s****y, hurtful behaviour.
Then one day at the end of last year, I got into an accident that left me hospitalised. Whilst I was mostly fine functionally, I had a lot of scarring and was told that I might need a skin graft surgery later down the line, depending on how it healed.
And my best friend since we were 11 didn't even ask how I was. Not *once*, not for two whole months. The only time she acknowledged that I was even injured was when she said, "that's a bad way to start the morning" when I told her that I was in A&E.
She just... didn't care.
And once I realised that, walking away was easy. Haven't missed her at all, best decision I ever made.
Went on a mini-vaca (was supposed to be 4 days) with my best friend in 2021 to NJ, she brought her (then) 8yr old son, I brought my (then) 4 yr old daughter. Her son was so disrespectful, swearing, nasty attitude and so mean to my daughter the entire trip. The last straw was on the morning of the 3rd day when he ripped a box of cereal out of my daughter's hand, she started crying and he slapped her across her head. I tried disciplining him and my friend blew up at me and proceeded to DEFEND her son, as she called my daughter a "whiny baby". We started arguing, I packed our bags and said we're leaving. I drove 4 hours home without saying a single word to her or her son. Got to her house, threw her bags on her front lawn and peeled out of her driveway.
My old friend since elementary school started slowly pushing his political and religious views onto me as we got older. He was a Christian conservative, I was an agnostic independent. Eventually he gave me an ultimatum, either fully agree with him and join his church, or be considered his enemy. So I ended the friendship. Religion and politics can ruin any friendship, no matter how great.
That kind of extremist is no friend, they're a dangerous moron (that goes for both ends of the political spectrum; just because one side is more vocal and obviously visible doesn't make the other any less idiotic, they just stand far less chance of getting into power for some reason).
Adults tend to find new friends in the workplace, which comes with its own set of limitations. One might feel a bit warier about how they act around a coworker and it can be hard to draw the line between networking and just enjoying time together. Most people go to work to earn a living, few see it as a great place to just hang out and make friends. While at school, it's pretty normal for pupils to commiserate and discuss how much they want to be elsewhere, adults are burdened with the knowledge of taxes and bills.
The friend found Jesus. That put a strain on the friendship because finding Jesus apparently means you have to try to convince everyone else to find him too. Repeatedly.
It was my last year in a country I previously lived in and at the time it was during summer vacation where we normally spend it in our home country. We had to cut our vacation short because we got a phone call telling us that our house had gotten broken into and robbed. We came back and on that day and he was talking to me telling me he saw cops by our house and he hopes everything is OK. It was horrible with everything stolen, furniture destroyed, closets torn down and fully emptied. My family decided to accelerate the transfer from that country and there was that. A year later he messages me a long e-mail explaining how sorry he was and that he was responsible for it and that his friends were the perpetrators and that he knew who did it but didn’t want to expose them. When we showed the police the e-mail and they questioned him it turned out he was part of that group as well.
In this instance, I really hope OP not only ended the friendship but pressed charges as well. Smh!!!
She became a mom martyr. The clincher was when I told her I was assaulted at work by a full grown man covered in poop and she responded " well that happens to me daily and nobody pays me" Her oldest was seven.
And then she turns around and complains that she lost so many friends after becoming a parent…hmmm wonder why???
Even counting outside-of-work friends, adults tend to struggle to find relationships like the ones they potentially had as teenagers. Partially, it’s logistics, since older teens have the physical energy and free time to be spontaneous and have adventures. As an adult, the idea of even staying up past two in the morning makes me want to take a sick day. The result is that many adults just do not have as many friends as they would want. In the West, the average number is just two. So all those sitcoms, from Friends to Seinfeld all represented some sort of aspirational social position.
Childhood friends since 1st grade essentially grew up together so you think we would have very similar morals and standards but right after having his 2nd kid at 19 he became emotionally abusive and eventually physically abusive towards them for about a couple months eventually he was arrested for domestic violence and she was hospitalized for a broken nose and fractured orbital bone.
I felt so f*****g guilty I didn't noticed any of the abuse the times I was over and just such shame that he was my closest friend still bothers me years later.
Story has a relatively happy ending though his ex gf became my new best friend and now i call her my wife :)
His wife cheated on him. I was the bad guy for trying to let him know.
She told me I was her best friend, but didn’t put me in her wedding party. But continued to ask me for wedding styling advice for her bridesmaids. It all stung but I got over it. She also told me she needed me at her bachelorette and I was helping her brainstorm ideas.
We talked daily. One morning we talked like normal and that evening I saw posts of her on her bachelorette. We’d been best friends since HS, she had a girl she’d only known for 6 months on the trip with her. Her response when I asked about it? “Oh someone surprised me with it sorry you’re upset”
Blocked her and haven’t looked back (and I’ve been a bridesmaid for better friends multiple times since 😊)
I had a relative I thought I was close to. When she got married I said, "Oh, am I a bridesmaid?" She joked that I would be her flower girl, and instead asked the wife of her husband's BM to be her MOH - this was a girl she hardly even knew! She then gave me a small task to perform at her wedding (I suppose thinking this 'honor' would make up for it - it didn't). I pulled back after that because she showed me how little I truly meant to her.
There are other psychological issues that can also cause problems. Did you know that most people probably like you more than you think? While it’s hard to generalize, many friendships struggle to take off because one or both of the parties thinks the other doesn’t like them as much. This is called the liking gap, where a person decides that a new acquaintance does not really like them, so to avoid looking needy, they won’t pursue a friendship or relationship. Now, as you might have guessed, this is a false emotion, as many people underestimate their likability. But the result is simply fewer friendships.
He told my entire group of friends (and a lot of non-friends) at a party that I told him I was gay, before I got a chance to tell them myself.
Asked to borrow money (~$3000) and told me not to ask for what, not because they needed help and trusted me but because I “had a decent job and could spare some”. Badgered me that I needed to send this money within 24 hours and kept repetitively asking when the money was ready. I was worried it was a medical emergency so I insisted they tell me why. No response except for “hurry up with the money.” Turns out they got scammed but that ended our friendship really quickly…money ruins relationships…fast.
Edit: wow I’m sorry to hear all of you having similar experiences. Thanks for hearing me out.
He got a DUI while driving my car and then lied about it and lied about why my car was towed. He lied about losing his license (suddenly he just wanted to walk everywhere for the exercise). He lied to my friends and told them it was my fault cuz registration had lapsed.
When I finally confronted him about it he kept lying.
To be clear, it is important to differentiate types of friendship. Like ships, houses, and organizations, not all friendships are created equal. As many of the stories here describe, it’s possible to be friends with a person who actively makes your life worse. Once you have had a friend for long enough, you tend to think of the position as natural and might avoid wondering why you don’t really enjoy being around this person. Sometimes people justify it with thoughts like “bad friends are better than no friends.” Maybe this is true, but the aforementioned benefits of having a friend tend to only apply to what researchers call high-quality friendships.
My mental health.
It got too much to handle and they backed out.
I absolutely understand this, but man..that hurt
Been there. I didn't want to burden my brother with that s**t, he wanted to know and our relationship has never been better.
Became Maga and used the n-word on a group text. Was entirely unrepentant about it. Wouldn't listen to any dislike of what he said, ever.
He kept not showing up when we said we'd meet somewhere. No call, no text, nothing.
While the idea of a high-quality friendship is somewhat subjective, it tends to involve reciprocity. Both parties trust each other, there generally isn’t much bullying and one party isn’t constantly the victim of the other’s mental or social issues. Unfortunately, loneliness is also a pretty real concern for many adults, who would prefer to be stood up by so-called friends rather than have no friends at all. Like finding a new job before one quits, studies show that it can be less scary to “quit” a bad friend if you have a new friend lined up. And if you want to read some more accounts about why friendships ended, check out our other article here.
My best friend (kinda my only friend) stopped talking to me from one day to another. Never was able to get in contact with him again. Didn't respond to calls or texts, wasn't home when I showed up, nothing.
I still don't know if I did something wrong or what his motivation was.
It's been just over 4 years now. Still sucks at times.
Bullying, basically.
I realized that all that "good-natured ribbing" over time was really more malicious than good natured, and that I was the outlet for his own insecurities.
I have a ‘friend’ like this - she makes b****y comments about my weight when she feels bad about her own. I spotted the trend, but it still baffles me that people can be so thoughtless with their words.
He got a girlfriend, so less time for me. After a few years I got home and saw them moving stuff out (We lived in the same apartment, different floor). They never said anything to me at all, no hint. They just left, not even a card or an invitation. That was the end of the friendship.
He tried to exploit my father's death to convert me to Christianity.
I'm a Christian myself and sh*t like this is why I want to greet each and everyone of these zealots with a mf-ing right hook!!! Smh!!!
Renting an apartment together.
NEVER live with friends, folks. BECOME friends with people you live with.
I lived with my best friend for three years and we are still best friends. If the friendship is true and the person is decent, living together is no problem. But if you're making lots of excuses for their behaviour before you're even live together, living together will make this impossible. That's why you shouldn't marry anyone you've not lived with for a while. It's impossible to hide their nasty side if you see them everyday but it's easy to hide if you just see them now and then. That goes for friends and partners alike
When I realized all we had in common was binge drinking. No support when it came to attempts to cut back. Instead they got irritated when I didn’t want to go to the bars. I kept saying no and explaining I wanted to avoid situations with drinking. One guy said you can’t be part of “our” friend group if you don’t like going out drinking as some sort of intimidation tactic
My bestie called me a lush AFTER I confided in her that I had quit drinking, then said if I wanted sympathy I should ask someone else because she wasn't "that type" of person. I didn't get it then and I don't get it, now. But I never spoke to her, again.
Lots of little s**t that eventually just pissed me off enough to where I told him to F off.
For example, 7-8 years ago, he bought 15 tickets for a midnight premier of Jurassic World for our entire friends group to attend.
The day of the show, he texted me to tell me that he forgot to buy "my" ticket, so I couldn't go. Of the 15 he bought, how did he decide it was "my" ticket that he didn't buy? Turns out, he gave my ticket to a girl he met the week prior so he could take her with instead.
That was just one of many things where he f****d me.
It's all truly minor stuff like that, but when you have 100 minor things, it becomes clear that they aren't actually your friend anymore.
That's not minor. He organised a meeting with the whole friend group and excluded OP in favour of a stranger who had nothing to do with those people, isolating OP and excluding them from the whole group. There's nothing minor about this, this is a very loud message that says: you are not a friend to me! You are just a gap filler until I find something better. And there's no coming back from something like this. On top of that they also lied to OP. That makes it very likely they're lying to the whole friends group too, estranging OP even further. It was something similar that made me realise that a person in my friend group wasn't a friend at all. My bestie and I had cards for a Pokémon event. But I got sick and couldn't go, so she took another friend with her who wasn't that much into Pokémon but was bored and wanted to accompany her. I gave them my games to get me the special edition Pokémon. When they got there, they gave out free figurines, one per person, but that 'friend'refused to get one. They weren't interested. They refused taking the collectible and my friend wasn't allowed to. Their argument was they didn't want it and didn't want to get in line to get it. There were no chairs so the stood at the side of the line, right next to it, waiting for my bestie to come back. My bestie and I both cut him out after this. My bestie tried to gift me hers but I refused. It wasn't her fault. He later told another friend he only went with her to hit on her and was very surprised that his little show of blatant egoism was a turn off and she cut him off completely.
Unhealthy friendship dynamic. She always wanted/needed my approval and when I’d be honest about the fact she f****d up- she’d tell me what a terrible friend I was. She could never take responsibility for her actions. F****d and f****d over every person she knew. Lied about everything and burned every bridge she made. The down side is that she was FUN AS HELL! My favorite outdoor adventure partner. And we’d been besties from our 20’s into 40’s. But damn, time to grow the f**k up, ya know?
Have a friend similar to this. They lie a lot to everyone and insists on having different personas to feel 'normal'. Always bold with other people but would trauma dump on me. Asked me to be truthful if they did anything I didn't like and when I did, they blamed me for being a terrible friend. Started to ignore me and even pushed their fist so close my face as if to 'intimidate' me. I didn't say anything at the time. Our friendship ended being so toxic since we were both suffering with our mental health. We didn't talk in a while and when we did recently, they casually told me about having an overdose last year because they wanted to make their parents care for them. They laughed about their parents crying for them saying they(their parents) deserved it. Bragged about liking being groomed by their chauffeur, told them to report it to their parents, or any adults they trust but ignored me because the chauffeur was the only person they can get cigarettes from(my friend was underage). Just a lot of things tbh.. Still friends with them but I don't want to be close with them.
I realized the only person putting effort in to maintain our friendship was me. If I didn't start a conversation, we didn't speak at all.
I stopped starting conversations. At first, I was just wondering how long it would take her to reach out. She never did. And I'm glad, because now that I'm not breaking my back trying to prop up our friendship, I realize how little I really got from it. I realized that I was always the one trying to mend fences and apologize when we fought, while she apologized for nothing. I've realized it's not normal to expect a nasty fight with your best friend once a month. And I feel so goddamn *free*.
I've moved on. I've made new friends and deepened other friendships. At this point, even if she did reach out and apologize (she won't), I wouldn't want anything to do with her.
This was me. I grew up next door to my "BFF". She moved in with her boyfriend & didn't tell me. Was pregnant & didn't tell me. Final straw was - they got married & didn't tell me. It was a courthouse thing, so I wasn't mad about not being invited. But if she'd told me I would have bought them a gift. And that's when I realized she only contacted me if she needed something - gas money, a ride to the store, pick up lunch, babysit her kid(s). All other contact was initiated by me. So I walked away.
Choosing men over her family and close friends, disappearing to another state at the drop of a hat with no way to be contacted, oh and meth.
Started to drink. A LOT. Then started to hang with people who constantly made fun of him, but hanged with him because he supplied a f**k ton of alcool. He was going out to bars everyday. He then started to talk s**t about my GF (now wife). Telling everybody that she was trash and the reason I wouldn't go out with to bars him. Also, I was a f*****g pussy not doing so.
The reason I wouldn't go out with him was because he was a f*****g thrash of a man. I tried to help him and he turned me down HARD. Also I was working full time and going to college.
F**k you Bobby.
when i realised i was basically this persons free therapist and we saw each other a lot, evrything was a moan-fest! caused me way more stress and misery than happyness. blamed his wife wanting a divorce on me, said he wrote a book about how bad a friend i have been, so i asked why he keeps contacting me if im so bad, i said iv had enough of your s**t, never contact me again.
Met them at a work HH they wanted me to come to. Uber'd home with them (we lived next door to each other) and she went on a wild racist rant after seeing the African American Museum while under construction in Washington DC. The rant carried on for a bit and was absolutely wild. I called her the next day and said I couldn't be friends with those kinds of views. She said she was drunk, didn't mean it, and I was overreacting.
My best friend in high school started getting into drugs and hanging with the burnout kids.
I distanced myself from her and she started trying to spread false rumors about me because she was mad.
One day at lunch on the cafeteria, she came up behind me, picked up my tray (that had fries, nuggets and two big puddles of ketchup and bbq sauce) and smacked me across the face with it.
I immediately got up and set up in a fighting stance. She tried to lunge at me, so I did what any normal petite high school girl would have done… I side kicked her so hard in her abdomen that she fell back and got laid out on a lunch table.
Thank goodness I had endured years of fighting my older brother and male cousins, lol.
Anyway, years later I ran into her. She had taken up boxing :) .
She slept with my fiancee two weeks before the wedding in my bed
Not best but recently a close friend sorta just stopped talking to me, think it hurt more because I have no idea what I did.
About 4 years ago I lost a few people I thought were close friends. Turned out they didn't actually like me at all, they just felt bad for me and also used me.
Moral of the story? Never act like someones friend because you feel bad for them. it just causes more harm and doesn't help them
He f****d a mutual friend’s wife. Confided in me that it was happening. I told him he had to end it and come clean. Instead of doing the right thing he started lying to me about it. long story short, I ended our friendship of over 15 years.
A worthwhile reason to end a friendship. I would have slipped a note to our Mutual friend.
She got together with her now fiance and he is so controlling. He cut her off from everyone and now she has no friends. She slowly cut off all contact even over text and now when I see her at the gym with him she doesn't even wave. Her maid of honor is one of her fiance's girl friends.
But you can still be there for her - she'll need friends again eventually.
He transitioned and she wanted new friends of her own, not his old ones, so I was pushed out after 20 years. She reaches out every once in a while now to say hi, and we are cordial, but despite understanding the desire to make new friends who have only known her as a woman, it still hurt, so there's no friendship left there, just perfunctory geniality.
His girlfriend. His gf got mad at him for being at my birthday party. He was my best buddy ever since 2nd grade, my parents and even my grandparents adored him. The day after my birthday i got a call from him. I could hear her voice in the background, he was so loud telling me to delete all the photos we took on my birthday and cut ties with him. She made him block me on everywhere and i was sad for some weeks. I'm still tearing up typing this. I was the first one he opened about his relationship with. I used to ask how she is everytime i see or call him. I've tried to be friends with her but she didn't care. The thing is that he has other female bestfriends too but she has a problem with me. And that too we don't see often after graduating cause of the distance and don't text or call often cause of our studies. It was after months i got to see him at my birthday. I miss him but i have to respect their relationship
That girlfriend is a jealous bag of dîcks, I hope the dude gets out safely. Not OPs fault here.
I had a friend that was with me since we were three years old. Let’s call him “John”. About ten years later, we’re going to this youth camp together. I’m so excited that John’s coming with me. But he seems….different. There’s another friend coming along with him, and now John is constantly avoiding me. This went on for about a day at the camp…before the avoidance turned into being toxic. He was constantly insulting me.
At some point, I had a panic attack at the camp (not related to John being a jerk and all) and here’s how our conversation went, with a few other friends watching:
John: So where even were you last night?? You weren’t at the dorm.
Me: I had a panic attack, so I was told to sleep somewhere else. I dunno why..
John: Oh, so you have mental issues. Haha.
Later, as I was playing with another friend that I had met at the camp, John came over to me with his other friend. The new friend that I was playing with said:
“Oh, are you one of his friends too, John?”
John: Nah, he thinks we’re friends but I’m just forced to watch him all the time.
That was the last straw. I was done talking to him from that point on.
But then, weeks later, I received a call from John. I picked up, and he was just talking to me as if he had never been mean to me. Ever. He was just talking about some random c**p about Minecraft. I just mumbled some “ok”’s and went on with my day, confused. I decided to call him later, and I confronted him about what happened at the camp. He said he never said any of those things. I said I’m pretty sure he did. He said “I was just kidding about the mental issues thing”. He denied that he ever said the stuff about not being my friend though. Throughout the entire call, he never apologized. And the worst part is, I almost believed him. I almost thought that I was just hearing things, and that maybe John was a good friend after all. Keep in mind I wasn’t very matured yet, despite my age. So I just…sort of…..continued thinking of him as a friend. But as I *did* mature, I just started cutting my contacts with him, and we never spoke again.
I'm lucky to say, all the best friendships I've had that have ended because our lives just grew in different directions. They are wonderful people whom I love and always will love very much.
Sometimes, life takes you down different roads. No reason not to stay connected though but if they are chasing destiny and cannot be reached for reason out of anyone's hands, just let them go with best wishes and hang on to the memories :-)
She married my ex lol. To be clear, this was a boy I dated for two months in high school, they were well into their thirties when they got together. I could not have given less of a f**k. Was happy for them even. He, however, apparently has hated me ever since we broke up in the tenth grade, and pushed me right out of her life. It would have made me sad if it wasn’t so pathetically hilarious.
Her extreme political views. They kept getting more extreme as time went on. It got to the point where all she did was gripe and complain about it. She'd turn any conversation political and even got to the point where she would randomly send me bogus articles to support her claims. I eventually got to the point where I had to do what was best for me and break off contact.
Some people are only there to try and convert you to their political group/ religion.
Started dating my now fiancé, she wasn't happy at all, called him gross and asked why we were together. Then we got into an argument over a class assignment where we were in different teams and she thought I was personally attacking her (it was on a topic so irrelevant to us that neither of us actually cared about) and she wouldn't talk to me until I apologized. Then I realized, anytime we argued over the dumbest s**t, it was always her getting mad at me and giving me the silent treatment until I apologized. So I just never did. Oh and a mutual friend and I didn't figure out until recently that whenever one of us were interested in someone, she would date them for like a week and then say we couldn't date them because she already did (this was in our middle school and high school days). And my fiancé told me she tried to get with him before we dated and he turned her down because he wasn't interested. Sometimes I miss her, but then I remember, my life is stressful enough and I don't need her nonsense added to it.
Our mothers were best friends, so ended up being best friends too from the time we were kids. Things took a drastic turn when we turned 16, she would make unwanted advances on me when no one was looking. I had explicitly told her I do not feel comfortable with this and gotten angry. She would stop then, only to try again another day. We were writing an exam and she thought it was a good idea to feel me up. I got up, packed my bags, turned in my paper - said f**k you, slammed the door and never looked at her again.
Yes, boys and girls : it doesn't happen a lot but women can also be predators.
He's doing 9 years in prison now. That kinda put a damper on the friendship.
Loaned him $250k to pursue his real estate dream and six months later he ghosted me; ignored about 50 emails/texts/calls/postcards and two certified letters. Infuriating!! He also stopped paying real estate taxes on it without telling me. I lived across the country so extremely hard to manage the resolution. I eventually got all the money back but no help from him.
I think we could have still been fine if he had kept communicating, and acknowledged the errors. But in a call to patch things up he admitted only to the taxes part, not to all the asshat sh*t. I had known him since college, like 30 years. Sheesh
Who loans anybody 250K? I wouldn't loan my mother five dollars.
Whenever we went out, he would hide himself if any of his other friends or our mates were around. I didn't mind it in the beginning. Later I found out he would talk s**t about me with others so that they won't be friends with me either and spread rumors about me. When a date basically got me drunk and tried to do things he blamed me for acting like a victim. His mom had passed away from cancer recently so I didn't pick up any fight or anything but soon afterwards I cut him out of my life anyway.
Some people don’t deserve to live… at least with intact genitalia.
Roommate/friend used to let his dog pee all over the house and my stuff without even trying to clean it or apologize for his dog p**s. Stopped talking to him after getting tired of it
We grew apart as we got older. He changed into a very angry and very bitter person. I tried my best to be there for him and to encourage him during the challenges he faced in life, but our friendship eventually fell apart.
Yeah. Saw this happening too. All he ever wanted to do was venting, venting, venting. No matter the topic, it away turned to something bad. You could talk about puppies and he'd tell you they were bad for the environment (had a dog himself!) You could talk about making a birthday cake and he'd rant about getting fat, gardening= pests, festivals=drugs, job=evil, capitalist overlords, community picknick=religious zealots trying to convert you, having won 500 bucks in a free lottery=it's not the main prize so as long as it's not a million it's not worth enjoying. The only person I've ever ghosted
The way they talked about my partner. How they were self centered. How certain things have changed for the worse in my life since spending more time with them. The guilt tripping and pressure
Her cousin made a pass at me while I was visiting her. The cousin was in a long-term, committed relationship at the time. I never saw or spoke to the cousin before or after the pass he made at me. He kissed me out of nowhere that one night.
My bff called me a week later because the cousin dumped his gf and had asked my bff if she could call me and connect us. She blamed me for ruining her cousin’s relationship and life. She was angry at me. We never spoke again.
I mean, if you never told anyone about the kiss, then you were enabling his behavior.
One of my childhood best friends made me and another girl her servants, she literally called us servants and would make us walk behind her and do all her work. Next school year came and she just straight up ignored us. Safe to say if I see her again I'm punching that b***h right in her self-centered face
I was getting married and they lived over an hour away and got mad that I was no longer calling them to talk for 3+ hours at a time. I was in college full-time, work part time and planning a wedding. She felt neglected.
My depression chased him away, I stressed him too much.
Don't blame yourself. You can't help having depression. Depression is an invisible illness with a lot of unnecessary stigma attached to it. If they are unable to muster up the compassion to be understanding and supportive when you need them, then they were never a true friend.
They died
That happened to me too, almost ten years ago now but it still makes me sad.
I had a good friend for years and we saw each other through so many situations, dramas, breakups, issues with other friends, and our relationship was rock solid. Then she began cheating on her husband. She was lying to him and saying she was spending time with me when she was actually seeing two other men. When her husband finally found out about it, he forgave her and they were supposedly trying to work things out. One day she complained to me that he didn't like her still spending time with those two men. I said, "well, if you're trying to work it out, you're not showing him you regret your actions if you're still seeing those guys". She replied, "I DONT regret it". It was then I realized what kind of person she was- using me to enable her cheating, and not caring about what she was doing in the first place. I still miss the friendship, but now I realize it was probably not the kind of relationship I thought it was.
He said my boyfriend and I were - I'm quoting - "disgusting", because my boyfriend was married and shortly after he separated from his wife we got together. So I'm a family wrecker. You might think these words would come from a very religious, conservative person, but no: he's a gay man, living his sexuality very promiscuously (also with married men. Or priests). But apparently there is no problem as long as everything is done in hypocritical secret.
Don't think of yourself as a "family wrecker." That relationship was probably broken long before you entered the picture. I was in a situation similar to yours many years ago. Your friend sounds like he was/is very confused, engaging in risky behavior. I hope you are in a good place now, and happy.
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I was really good (I thought) friends with someone who shared an interest of mine. We'd have long phone conversations (she lives over 1500 miles away) about our interest, and I'd oblige her by making her items using her ideas. Then one day I was in a shop and about to buy a book about our shared interest, and I stopped and thought, 'Why am I buying this? Am I going to read it?' I realized I wasn't, and that I was only buying it so I could say to her, "Look what I bought." So I didn't buy it. Then later I realized that once I developed a new interest (while not ditching the old one), when she spoke and I mentioned my new interest, she'd just go, "Hmmm," until we could get back to her ideas. I was hurt because I supported her other interests even though they didn't mean much to me. I pulled back after that. We're still cordial, but now I know she's not interested in me unless I can make her things.
A group, rather than an individual for me. We met through ttrpgs and enjoyed hanging and chatting and grew closer through some s**t we were going through with one of the people in the group (super self-centered and not willing to share the spotlight). We went on vacations together and really opened up to one another. Then I was asked to leave the games. A few months of minimal contact (always initiated by me and never by them), and I go to the wedding of one of the group members. We'd known each other for the same amount of time, but I was the only one not in the 30 person wedding party. Didn't talk to them at all after that and they asked a guy who was friends with us all, but not in the inner circle, to break up with me for them. Never got an explanation. I'd love to know if I did something, or if they just got mentally stuck in middle school. Because I haven't had other people dump me since I was 13.
Through someone else to boot. I didn’t do things like that even in middle school becaus I knew better than to be a cowardly little asshοle. I’m sorry that happened to you, they suck.
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A so called friend sent me hurtful means because I interrupted her when she was speaking. It took her four months to tell me I was rude and she would no longer tolerate me. FOUR MONTHS!
These things are so hurtful and yet the reality is that we've lost no-one who is worth any of that pain. Just hard to get to grips with it at the time, and sometimes a while after.
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I recently cut my BFF off because when my son was diagnosed with esophageal cancer I went into a deep depression, and she decided that she should tell everyone I wasn't depressed but that I had a drug problem, which crushed me. She had her daughter call me a dopehead to my face. I don't even drink let alone do drugs, I was depressed, my entire world felt like it was falling apart, and that's how my "BFF" chose to treat me because I went into a depression.
I'm sorry for what you've been through. Best wishes. 💐💞🌷
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I had a bff since we were born. She was toxic from day one, but I needed time to realize that. And when I realized it, my parents forced me to stay friends with her, because they didn't want to make her parents angry. I was a kid and had to stay friends. She talked bad behind my back, she forbid me to have other friends, while she had a few, she always let me pay for anything, she would hit me if she could disguise it as an accident, she pushed me once in a river mid-winter (luckily just a small one), I had a terrible car accident and stayed barely alive (nasty head injury). She showed up in the hospital, made a few comments about me looking like a mummy (head was almost completely bandaged), took 2 pictures with her phone and went home. My sister told me she posted it on fb for likes I suppose... Happily unfriended her after that.
1/2 My college best friend (or so i thought), had two strikes and then she was out. She was flirting with the guy that I liked a lot, they seemed to like each other, so I just thought “ok, who am I to disturb, after all there’s nothing between me an this man”. Second one was when she was visiting hometown and didn’t want to make plans to meet me, because “she has only enough time to see her friends” and didn’t even give me date of her arrival… I thought, what, wait, so I’m not a friend? Faith is a powerful thing, because on her flight to hometown I was a cabin crew on her flight and checking ticket on the same door where she was boarding (completely insane coincidence!). Her face was priceless… look of shame. Nevertheless I kept cheerful mood, took her to best seats on plane. She pretended to sleep or look the other way entire flight, and on arrival she left from other door not to meet me. It was OVER from my side. In span of next few years she tried to reach out to me casually like nothing happened.
2/2 I was giving her back cold shoulder, but always made sure to message her greetings during important holidays. She was always trying to spin conversations from then and I never answered. Once she even wrote “I understand why you’re doing this, but I’d like to renew our friendship” no apologies. Then after few years I just stopped sending her even greetings. Then just removed and blocked her from my social media, so she couldn’t see what’s with my life. So all in all it was like a gradual phasing out, not just cold turkey. Even though I think she deserved ghosting. It’s been many years now, have no idea what’s with her life and not interested.
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Oh, but this is hard. I have never had many friends, so I treasure my few. Alas they never last. Sooner or later they start drifting away until they're gone. Very few have lasted for years, but never as close as they once were. On one of those long friendships I moved to my friend's city & stayed w/her for a little while. She kept insisting we get a place together, but I wanted my independence & was reluctant. Luckily though, because almost immediately after I arrived everything I did had horrible meanings: If I cleaned the microwave after using it, I was calling her dirty. I paid rent, but was yelled at if I left a light on in my bedroom. She had stayed at my place many times, but now couldn't stand my presence in her home, so I left. I thought she was trying to rekindle the friendship sometime later, but then she wanted a loan. When I refused, I never heard from her again. It's sad, but also lucky. Loneliness sucks, but not as much as bad "friends".
Had a "friend" who agreed to go to a couple of concerts with me. I bought tickets and the day of the concert, she would not answer my texts or calls. She apologized and she promised to go to another concert with me and pay me back. The day came for that concert and she did the same thing. At this point I didn't care about getting my money back, I just wanted to be done with her.
I lost a so-called friend when I had a legal problem. While she had been in legal issues, and I even testified in her defense. I took her to have her babies (a slew of them), and was there for her since we met at 15. What was easily the hardest time of my life, ALL of my "friends" basically turned on me. When I came home, I NEVER spoke to any person who deserted me in my time of need. And I don't do friends anymore, just associates. My family, boyfriend, and dogs are all friends I'll need.
This article made me realize that all the wildly toxic partners we hear about on BP who are horrible to their SO's, also have friends.
Started dating my best friend. A month in I found repressed memories of being sexually abused and raped at the age of 9. Turned everything about how I couldn't meet their needs when the were anxious, depressed and made it about them when I was being honest and open/being emotionally vulnerable. They would twist my words and put up walls and shut down. Not knowing how to respond from being overwhelmed by trauma and this reaction I shut down too. Then they got mad that I shut down. Made a lot of assumptions without asking or checking if the assumptions were right. Made me the bad guy because I couldn't meet their needs the way they wanted when I was going through a lot of s**t from 16 years ago (lot to process).
My bf (56f) was a narcissist. She was more interested in herself than anyone else. If I wanted to talk about myself (53f) at all, she'd tell me "I understand you" and then change the topic to her issues. I never felt heard or seen by her. Once, I was having an allergic reaction to some food we ate, and she wouldn't look at me. I was covered in hives, but she wouldn't look at me, wouldn't give me my epipen because it "frightened her". She always reminded me of she had "helped" me when I had helped her more than enough times. She was separated from her husband but refused to get a divorce, she was frequently upset that men she met on dating sites would have a coffee and a shag, but never call her back. She'd call me to come sit with her while she cried about these men. When I cried about my husband beating me, taking all of our money and leaving me with nothing, she ignored me and bragged how much money she got when her mom died. Her children refused to interact with her, and she never understood why. When her teenager attempted suicide, she claimed he was "milking for sympathy." That's when I told her off and blocked her.
Had a friend for 10+ years. Helped her through 2 divorces and an abortion. Accidently worded an email response wrong one day when she was asking for advice on men AGAIN. I said, maybe I'll talk to you later, she replied with "NO, you won't!" and went on and on about what a horrible person I was and how she should have dumped me years ago and blah, blah, blah....this was 3 days before 9/11. Didn't talk to her again until 2010 and I was having my 40th birthday party. She was on her 3rd husband and I realized how needy she was. She is since divorced AGAIN and looking for husband #4. I think about her maybe once a year and feel sorry for her sad existence of a life.
I was playing D&D with my friend group. I was a rogue, so I pickpocket some good as a goof. This man pulled out a knife- a real knife- and genuinely threatened me with it. No one, not one "friend", had my back
I left my then husband because he became abusive, and in the aftermath (court dates, hadn't started therepy yet because I didn't have time with said court dates) my then "best friend" decided that my entire focus in life was making her miserable and hurting her feelings. Because clearly I had nothing better to focus on at the time. She wrote me a 5 page letter detailing why I was such a sh*tty friend, all the circumstances she used were her twisting or flat out lying about what happened to make her seem like the victim. It was a blessing for me though in a way, I'd known for years we weren't really as close as she kept saying we were but she guilted me into staying her best friend. Being able to walk away from her without having to do anything so to speak was honestly the last thing I needed to have happen to fully heal from all the bs in my life at the time. Still hurt but it was definitely mixed with a lot of relief.
She needed a place to stay after breaking up with boyfriend (she lived at his place). She stayed 6 months. We didn't ask for rent or utilities, just clean up after yourself. She did, and would sometimes cook for us (she was a great cook). But then she got anxious to move home (many hours away). After she left, we found out she ran up a $400 phone bill, calling a friend overseas while we were at work. Like all the bad checks she dodged before that, she panicked knowing we would find out soon and she didn't have the money to pay. Neither did we, for that matter. Have only seen her 1 or 2 times in the last 25 years, and we have not stayed in touch in spite of a million ways to do so.
My bf in my 20s was a girl I'd be friends with since HS. She and I hung out every day, I listened to her complain about her fiancé who was the nicest guy ever and spoiled her rotten. She quit her job on a dime and was freaking out, begged me for a job (I ran a business at the time). I gave her a job that she had no experience in, gave her all her preferred shifts because she was also in school. She got sick and ended up taking leave for 2 months while still getting paid, saying every week "I'll come back next week" - I told her repeatedly no rush, just get better and take care of yourself. I took her to appts, brought her meals, cleaned her apartment and took her cat to the vet. The day before she was supposed to come back to work, she called and left me a vm at 2am telling me she couldn't open the store and requested an afternoon shift. I texted her back and told her no problem, I'd get it covered but I couldn't work the shift because I was moving the next day. She apparently showed up anyway and was fuming that I had, in fact, found someone to cover the shift because she didn't check her messages before leaving her house. She kicked me out of her wedding, told me I was a horrible person and quit on the spot. She never spoke to me again.
Lost an old friend to Politics and Religious extremism. We were both apolitical and both religious, but, somewhere, he went off the deep end. And still is there, after being proven wrong.
No one likes to be proven wrong. Especially by someone who "knows better."
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My (former) best friend just... chose someone else over me. We were playing roblox and she just ignored me completely and talked to her friend the entire time... WHILE WE WERE ON A PLAYDATE. ( this was when I was 10 ) then I realized that our friendship had been pretty one sided. We did what she wanted to do most of the time and she only did what I wanted when her mom said so. F**k you Mari.
My childhood best friend went off to college, which I couldn't afford, and forgot how to use a phone or the USPS. My teenage/early 20's best friend got married, moved out of state, and forgot how texts & emails worked. My 20's to 30's best friend one day emailed to tell me she "wasn't interested in being friends anymore" with no explanation. I made another friend in work, despite myself saying never again. She was my "work daughter" but then she quit. We still stayed close until last year. She "forgot" to invite me to her Halloween party; everyone who knows me even a little. knows Halloween is my favorite holiday, and then again to her New Year's party, but in February remembered to invite me to her daughter's birthday, saying "cash or gift cards" were preferred. So I'm done. I couldn't care less if I have another"friend" for the rest of my life.
My best friend fir 26 years and i stopped being friends because i wanted her to actively take time to see me more than 3 times a year. And by actively I just meant put me in her calendar regardless of how far out in the future it was. She said we had "different opinions" of what a friendship should contain. Also she got mad at me for getting tipsy at my own 30 years birthday. It's new-year and she was hosting. She spat in her own cocktail for 3 hours and got angry i was in a party mood on my round day... i was tipsy happy, but no way near drunk. Maybe it's for the best 👌 I got lovely friends in my life now
(its just a bunch of drama and its VERY VERY VERY long) lies. lies ended our friendship. ive known her since 1st grade. shes told little lies at first, i dont remember the exact lies, but somewhere along the lines of trying to make herself cool in front of me i guess? she constantly switched between me and someone else. yes its ok to have other friends and hang out with them, but she literally kept going back and forth. S is her, A is the other girl.*one time* S: A keeps bothering me and spreading rumors about me. being the nice friend i try to be, i tell A not to mess with S, because she doesnt like it. *next time* i get a christmas gram from her, S saying that she doesnt want to be friends with me anymore because we dont do anything fun, and i dont do anything for her, and her and A are doing a secret santa with the two of them. (HOW DO YOU DO A SECRET SANTA WITH 2 PEOPLE?!) she continues to say this throughout the year, but i kept forgiving her which is a mistake. every single time i would forgive her.*REST OF THE STORY IS IN REPLIES*
in sixth grade we came back from covid, and started hangjng out with A again. she still constantly told me her problems with A, but i learned not to fix them anymore for her. she then started stuff with my best friend ive know since i was 2-3, and thats when it drew the line. but i still kept talking to her. since we graduated last year of June, we went to the same school now, and A doesnt go to our new school. may i add A was a pickme and a know-it-all. S acts like she doesnt know me anymore, and ignores me when with other friends. O (my best friend in my new school but known since summer of 5th grade) knows her too. i keep telling her S is a liar, and only uses things to solve her own problems. she wont listen. ive decided to let her figure it out herself. i know a lot about crystals, and a friend showed me a crystal sphere, and i told him (J) its a crystal. S jumps in ans INSISTS its a marble, when its the size of a small orange. she then starts yelling at me *IN REPLIES*
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A person who was my best friend for literal decades...like, we grocery shopped together, hiked, everything. I helped her moved after divorcing her abusive husband, helped her move in with the man who is now her husband. She got married & didn't tell me. I did research for her first book, etc. I got back with an ex and haven't heard from her since. Unless I've done a closet purge & have clothing or shoes to give away. We went from speaking every day to I haven't spoken to her in 12 years.
My friend was "seeing" a guy that I was friends with. She decided that him and I were not allowed to hang out together. We thought she was ridiculous. Him and I go to dinner and the next day she texts asking what I did last night. So I text him like hey should I tell her we went out? He didn't respond so I texted her that we went to dinner. I was at work and behind the counter when the phone rang. I pick it up and hear, "You texted the wrong f#_#@$ person". I'm at work so I'm standing there all polite with my phone voice on like oh I texted you anyways, who cares? As she was screaming swearing at me. That was the last time I ever spoke to her. Me and the guy have been married for 9 years now so....
I had a good friend for years and we saw each other through so many situations, dramas, breakups, issues with other friends, and our relationship was rock solid. Then she began cheating on her husband. She was lying to him and saying she was spending time with me when she was actually seeing two other men. When her husband finally found out about it, he forgave her and they were supposedly trying to work things out. One day she complained to me that he didn't like her still spending time with those two men. I said, "well, if you're trying to work it out, you're not showing him you regret your actions if you're still seeing those guys". She replied, "I DONT regret it". It was then I realized what kind of person she was- using me to enable her cheating, and not caring about what she was doing in the first place. I still miss the friendship, but now I realize it was probably not the kind of relationship I thought it was.
He said my boyfriend and I were - I'm quoting - "disgusting", because my boyfriend was married and shortly after he separated from his wife we got together. So I'm a family wrecker. You might think these words would come from a very religious, conservative person, but no: he's a gay man, living his sexuality very promiscuously (also with married men. Or priests). But apparently there is no problem as long as everything is done in hypocritical secret.
Don't think of yourself as a "family wrecker." That relationship was probably broken long before you entered the picture. I was in a situation similar to yours many years ago. Your friend sounds like he was/is very confused, engaging in risky behavior. I hope you are in a good place now, and happy.
Load More Replies... I was really good (I thought) friends with someone who shared an interest of mine. We'd have long phone conversations (she lives over 1500 miles away) about our interest, and I'd oblige her by making her items using her ideas. Then one day I was in a shop and about to buy a book about our shared interest, and I stopped and thought, 'Why am I buying this? Am I going to read it?' I realized I wasn't, and that I was only buying it so I could say to her, "Look what I bought." So I didn't buy it. Then later I realized that once I developed a new interest (while not ditching the old one), when she spoke and I mentioned my new interest, she'd just go, "Hmmm," until we could get back to her ideas. I was hurt because I supported her other interests even though they didn't mean much to me. I pulled back after that. We're still cordial, but now I know she's not interested in me unless I can make her things.
A group, rather than an individual for me. We met through ttrpgs and enjoyed hanging and chatting and grew closer through some s**t we were going through with one of the people in the group (super self-centered and not willing to share the spotlight). We went on vacations together and really opened up to one another. Then I was asked to leave the games. A few months of minimal contact (always initiated by me and never by them), and I go to the wedding of one of the group members. We'd known each other for the same amount of time, but I was the only one not in the 30 person wedding party. Didn't talk to them at all after that and they asked a guy who was friends with us all, but not in the inner circle, to break up with me for them. Never got an explanation. I'd love to know if I did something, or if they just got mentally stuck in middle school. Because I haven't had other people dump me since I was 13.
Through someone else to boot. I didn’t do things like that even in middle school becaus I knew better than to be a cowardly little asshοle. I’m sorry that happened to you, they suck.
Load More Replies... A so called friend sent me hurtful means because I interrupted her when she was speaking. It took her four months to tell me I was rude and she would no longer tolerate me. FOUR MONTHS!
These things are so hurtful and yet the reality is that we've lost no-one who is worth any of that pain. Just hard to get to grips with it at the time, and sometimes a while after.
Load More Replies... I recently cut my BFF off because when my son was diagnosed with esophageal cancer I went into a deep depression, and she decided that she should tell everyone I wasn't depressed but that I had a drug problem, which crushed me. She had her daughter call me a dopehead to my face. I don't even drink let alone do drugs, I was depressed, my entire world felt like it was falling apart, and that's how my "BFF" chose to treat me because I went into a depression.
I'm sorry for what you've been through. Best wishes. 💐💞🌷
Load More Replies... I had a bff since we were born. She was toxic from day one, but I needed time to realize that. And when I realized it, my parents forced me to stay friends with her, because they didn't want to make her parents angry. I was a kid and had to stay friends. She talked bad behind my back, she forbid me to have other friends, while she had a few, she always let me pay for anything, she would hit me if she could disguise it as an accident, she pushed me once in a river mid-winter (luckily just a small one), I had a terrible car accident and stayed barely alive (nasty head injury). She showed up in the hospital, made a few comments about me looking like a mummy (head was almost completely bandaged), took 2 pictures with her phone and went home. My sister told me she posted it on fb for likes I suppose... Happily unfriended her after that.
1/2 My college best friend (or so i thought), had two strikes and then she was out. She was flirting with the guy that I liked a lot, they seemed to like each other, so I just thought “ok, who am I to disturb, after all there’s nothing between me an this man”. Second one was when she was visiting hometown and didn’t want to make plans to meet me, because “she has only enough time to see her friends” and didn’t even give me date of her arrival… I thought, what, wait, so I’m not a friend? Faith is a powerful thing, because on her flight to hometown I was a cabin crew on her flight and checking ticket on the same door where she was boarding (completely insane coincidence!). Her face was priceless… look of shame. Nevertheless I kept cheerful mood, took her to best seats on plane. She pretended to sleep or look the other way entire flight, and on arrival she left from other door not to meet me. It was OVER from my side. In span of next few years she tried to reach out to me casually like nothing happened.
2/2 I was giving her back cold shoulder, but always made sure to message her greetings during important holidays. She was always trying to spin conversations from then and I never answered. Once she even wrote “I understand why you’re doing this, but I’d like to renew our friendship” no apologies. Then after few years I just stopped sending her even greetings. Then just removed and blocked her from my social media, so she couldn’t see what’s with my life. So all in all it was like a gradual phasing out, not just cold turkey. Even though I think she deserved ghosting. It’s been many years now, have no idea what’s with her life and not interested.
Load More Replies... Oh, but this is hard. I have never had many friends, so I treasure my few. Alas they never last. Sooner or later they start drifting away until they're gone. Very few have lasted for years, but never as close as they once were. On one of those long friendships I moved to my friend's city & stayed w/her for a little while. She kept insisting we get a place together, but I wanted my independence & was reluctant. Luckily though, because almost immediately after I arrived everything I did had horrible meanings: If I cleaned the microwave after using it, I was calling her dirty. I paid rent, but was yelled at if I left a light on in my bedroom. She had stayed at my place many times, but now couldn't stand my presence in her home, so I left. I thought she was trying to rekindle the friendship sometime later, but then she wanted a loan. When I refused, I never heard from her again. It's sad, but also lucky. Loneliness sucks, but not as much as bad "friends".
Had a "friend" who agreed to go to a couple of concerts with me. I bought tickets and the day of the concert, she would not answer my texts or calls. She apologized and she promised to go to another concert with me and pay me back. The day came for that concert and she did the same thing. At this point I didn't care about getting my money back, I just wanted to be done with her.
I lost a so-called friend when I had a legal problem. While she had been in legal issues, and I even testified in her defense. I took her to have her babies (a slew of them), and was there for her since we met at 15. What was easily the hardest time of my life, ALL of my "friends" basically turned on me. When I came home, I NEVER spoke to any person who deserted me in my time of need. And I don't do friends anymore, just associates. My family, boyfriend, and dogs are all friends I'll need.
This article made me realize that all the wildly toxic partners we hear about on BP who are horrible to their SO's, also have friends.
Started dating my best friend. A month in I found repressed memories of being sexually abused and raped at the age of 9. Turned everything about how I couldn't meet their needs when the were anxious, depressed and made it about them when I was being honest and open/being emotionally vulnerable. They would twist my words and put up walls and shut down. Not knowing how to respond from being overwhelmed by trauma and this reaction I shut down too. Then they got mad that I shut down. Made a lot of assumptions without asking or checking if the assumptions were right. Made me the bad guy because I couldn't meet their needs the way they wanted when I was going through a lot of s**t from 16 years ago (lot to process).
My bf (56f) was a narcissist. She was more interested in herself than anyone else. If I wanted to talk about myself (53f) at all, she'd tell me "I understand you" and then change the topic to her issues. I never felt heard or seen by her. Once, I was having an allergic reaction to some food we ate, and she wouldn't look at me. I was covered in hives, but she wouldn't look at me, wouldn't give me my epipen because it "frightened her". She always reminded me of she had "helped" me when I had helped her more than enough times. She was separated from her husband but refused to get a divorce, she was frequently upset that men she met on dating sites would have a coffee and a shag, but never call her back. She'd call me to come sit with her while she cried about these men. When I cried about my husband beating me, taking all of our money and leaving me with nothing, she ignored me and bragged how much money she got when her mom died. Her children refused to interact with her, and she never understood why. When her teenager attempted suicide, she claimed he was "milking for sympathy." That's when I told her off and blocked her.
Had a friend for 10+ years. Helped her through 2 divorces and an abortion. Accidently worded an email response wrong one day when she was asking for advice on men AGAIN. I said, maybe I'll talk to you later, she replied with "NO, you won't!" and went on and on about what a horrible person I was and how she should have dumped me years ago and blah, blah, blah....this was 3 days before 9/11. Didn't talk to her again until 2010 and I was having my 40th birthday party. She was on her 3rd husband and I realized how needy she was. She is since divorced AGAIN and looking for husband #4. I think about her maybe once a year and feel sorry for her sad existence of a life.
I was playing D&D with my friend group. I was a rogue, so I pickpocket some good as a goof. This man pulled out a knife- a real knife- and genuinely threatened me with it. No one, not one "friend", had my back
I left my then husband because he became abusive, and in the aftermath (court dates, hadn't started therepy yet because I didn't have time with said court dates) my then "best friend" decided that my entire focus in life was making her miserable and hurting her feelings. Because clearly I had nothing better to focus on at the time. She wrote me a 5 page letter detailing why I was such a sh*tty friend, all the circumstances she used were her twisting or flat out lying about what happened to make her seem like the victim. It was a blessing for me though in a way, I'd known for years we weren't really as close as she kept saying we were but she guilted me into staying her best friend. Being able to walk away from her without having to do anything so to speak was honestly the last thing I needed to have happen to fully heal from all the bs in my life at the time. Still hurt but it was definitely mixed with a lot of relief.
She needed a place to stay after breaking up with boyfriend (she lived at his place). She stayed 6 months. We didn't ask for rent or utilities, just clean up after yourself. She did, and would sometimes cook for us (she was a great cook). But then she got anxious to move home (many hours away). After she left, we found out she ran up a $400 phone bill, calling a friend overseas while we were at work. Like all the bad checks she dodged before that, she panicked knowing we would find out soon and she didn't have the money to pay. Neither did we, for that matter. Have only seen her 1 or 2 times in the last 25 years, and we have not stayed in touch in spite of a million ways to do so.
My bf in my 20s was a girl I'd be friends with since HS. She and I hung out every day, I listened to her complain about her fiancé who was the nicest guy ever and spoiled her rotten. She quit her job on a dime and was freaking out, begged me for a job (I ran a business at the time). I gave her a job that she had no experience in, gave her all her preferred shifts because she was also in school. She got sick and ended up taking leave for 2 months while still getting paid, saying every week "I'll come back next week" - I told her repeatedly no rush, just get better and take care of yourself. I took her to appts, brought her meals, cleaned her apartment and took her cat to the vet. The day before she was supposed to come back to work, she called and left me a vm at 2am telling me she couldn't open the store and requested an afternoon shift. I texted her back and told her no problem, I'd get it covered but I couldn't work the shift because I was moving the next day. She apparently showed up anyway and was fuming that I had, in fact, found someone to cover the shift because she didn't check her messages before leaving her house. She kicked me out of her wedding, told me I was a horrible person and quit on the spot. She never spoke to me again.
Lost an old friend to Politics and Religious extremism. We were both apolitical and both religious, but, somewhere, he went off the deep end. And still is there, after being proven wrong.
No one likes to be proven wrong. Especially by someone who "knows better."
Load More Replies... My (former) best friend just... chose someone else over me. We were playing roblox and she just ignored me completely and talked to her friend the entire time... WHILE WE WERE ON A PLAYDATE. ( this was when I was 10 ) then I realized that our friendship had been pretty one sided. We did what she wanted to do most of the time and she only did what I wanted when her mom said so. F**k you Mari.
My childhood best friend went off to college, which I couldn't afford, and forgot how to use a phone or the USPS. My teenage/early 20's best friend got married, moved out of state, and forgot how texts & emails worked. My 20's to 30's best friend one day emailed to tell me she "wasn't interested in being friends anymore" with no explanation. I made another friend in work, despite myself saying never again. She was my "work daughter" but then she quit. We still stayed close until last year. She "forgot" to invite me to her Halloween party; everyone who knows me even a little. knows Halloween is my favorite holiday, and then again to her New Year's party, but in February remembered to invite me to her daughter's birthday, saying "cash or gift cards" were preferred. So I'm done. I couldn't care less if I have another"friend" for the rest of my life.
My best friend fir 26 years and i stopped being friends because i wanted her to actively take time to see me more than 3 times a year. And by actively I just meant put me in her calendar regardless of how far out in the future it was. She said we had "different opinions" of what a friendship should contain. Also she got mad at me for getting tipsy at my own 30 years birthday. It's new-year and she was hosting. She spat in her own cocktail for 3 hours and got angry i was in a party mood on my round day... i was tipsy happy, but no way near drunk. Maybe it's for the best 👌 I got lovely friends in my life now
(its just a bunch of drama and its VERY VERY VERY long) lies. lies ended our friendship. ive known her since 1st grade. shes told little lies at first, i dont remember the exact lies, but somewhere along the lines of trying to make herself cool in front of me i guess? she constantly switched between me and someone else. yes its ok to have other friends and hang out with them, but she literally kept going back and forth. S is her, A is the other girl.*one time* S: A keeps bothering me and spreading rumors about me. being the nice friend i try to be, i tell A not to mess with S, because she doesnt like it. *next time* i get a christmas gram from her, S saying that she doesnt want to be friends with me anymore because we dont do anything fun, and i dont do anything for her, and her and A are doing a secret santa with the two of them. (HOW DO YOU DO A SECRET SANTA WITH 2 PEOPLE?!) she continues to say this throughout the year, but i kept forgiving her which is a mistake. every single time i would forgive her.*REST OF THE STORY IS IN REPLIES*
in sixth grade we came back from covid, and started hangjng out with A again. she still constantly told me her problems with A, but i learned not to fix them anymore for her. she then started stuff with my best friend ive know since i was 2-3, and thats when it drew the line. but i still kept talking to her. since we graduated last year of June, we went to the same school now, and A doesnt go to our new school. may i add A was a pickme and a know-it-all. S acts like she doesnt know me anymore, and ignores me when with other friends. O (my best friend in my new school but known since summer of 5th grade) knows her too. i keep telling her S is a liar, and only uses things to solve her own problems. she wont listen. ive decided to let her figure it out herself. i know a lot about crystals, and a friend showed me a crystal sphere, and i told him (J) its a crystal. S jumps in ans INSISTS its a marble, when its the size of a small orange. she then starts yelling at me *IN REPLIES*
Load More Replies... A person who was my best friend for literal decades...like, we grocery shopped together, hiked, everything. I helped her moved after divorcing her abusive husband, helped her move in with the man who is now her husband. She got married & didn't tell me. I did research for her first book, etc. I got back with an ex and haven't heard from her since. Unless I've done a closet purge & have clothing or shoes to give away. We went from speaking every day to I haven't spoken to her in 12 years.
My friend was "seeing" a guy that I was friends with. She decided that him and I were not allowed to hang out together. We thought she was ridiculous. Him and I go to dinner and the next day she texts asking what I did last night. So I text him like hey should I tell her we went out? He didn't respond so I texted her that we went to dinner. I was at work and behind the counter when the phone rang. I pick it up and hear, "You texted the wrong f#_#@$ person". I'm at work so I'm standing there all polite with my phone voice on like oh I texted you anyways, who cares? As she was screaming swearing at me. That was the last time I ever spoke to her. Me and the guy have been married for 9 years now so....
