When you start a new job, it helps immensely if you have a veteran show you the ropes. It’s also a massive boon to your career if you can get your hands on a clear list of expectations the company has for you. But no matter the business, there are some subtle workplace rules that are practically universal and can fit nearly any industry—like avoiding trash-talking others, being polite to everyone, using up all of your vacation days, and keeping a paper trail.
One redditor turned to the r/LifeProTips online community’s members, asking them to share some of the most important unspoken rules in the workplace that everyone should know. We’ve collected the top ones that are bound to come in useful at your own jobs, Pandas. Scroll down to check them out and upvote the ones you agree with the most.
We were interested to learn more about the role that gossip plays at the office and what to do if someone's talking about you behind your back, so we reached out to workplace expert Lynn Taylor for comment. According to her, gossiping at work can be a slippery slope. Taylor is the author of the book 'Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant' and runs a popular blog on Psychology Today. You'll find our full interview with her as you read on.
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If you see someone eating lunch by themselves quietly for the love of god don’t take it as an opportunity to talk their ear off. Lunch time is personal time.
In 20 years your family will remember all the overtime you worked but nobody from the companies will.
That person who tells you the most interesting “news” from around the office is the last person with whom you should discuss any of your personal business!
I noticed how amazing it is at work how many people are talking frequently smack behind other collegue's back. I try not to give my opinion too much when asked for, but if I do, I try to be as positive about that person as I can. So that if they talk about me (and I don't have the illusion that doesn't happen), they don't have any negative gossip to talk about.
Bored Panda wanted to know what the role of gossip in the workplace is and workplace expert Taylor was kind enough to shed some light on the topic. "On the one hand, you may pick up some insider information about the direction or status of the company or a department. On the other hand, the office is a very small, interconnected, and interpersonal entity. What you say can easily get back to the person you’re talking about," she explained to us via email.
"Add to that the fact of gossip may not be fully based in reality. Gossip travels fast, but may not always be reliable. If you ever played the game, 'telephone' as a child, you know the original story never resembles itself by the time it’s passed along to the 10th person," she warned. "The key is knowing how to discern potential valuable insight that directly relates to the business or your job… from personal gossip. The personal chatter can be a distraction or color how you view your coworkers."
Taylor advises employees to take everything they hear with a grain of salt and not become part of the rumor mill themselves.
Write every email as if you were to read it out loud in court.
Take all your vacation days.
German here: I would be in trouble with work council AND HR if I wouldn’t take all of my vacation days. It’s mandatory here!
We are not actually a family.
The author of 'Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant' also shared some practical advice on how to "avoid becoming easy prey for office tattlers." First of all, employees should ensure that they're not part of the grapevine themselves. Next, they should keep a firm grip on what they talk about.
"Avoid sharing too much personal information with your officemates. If there is no 'content' available, then there is no gossip. You can still make friends at the office, but choose wisely—with people you trust."
Meanwhile, if someone repeatedly talks about you behind your back, try having a conversation with them. Keep it frank but private. "Let them save face by telling them you doubt this rumor came from them—but that you needed to clear the air so it doesn’t go any further," the workplace expert told Bored Panda.
If you didn't cook it or buy it yourself, it ain't your damn lunch!
This ex-coworker of mine wouldn't take people's lunches but would mooch off of them; ask for a couple of chips, a little of this or that, and b/c it was usually a small thing, people would oblige. He tried this w/ me and got upset I wouldn't do the same. #1, I was recovering from a cold still and felt I needed all of the food I had packed and #2, I don't have to share if I choose not to.
"Of course, you run the risk that your diplomatic reprimand can be part of the rumor mill again. And that’s why it’s easier to mitigate office gossip about you with a little prevention. Hold your personal cards closely and try to avoid getting into the fray," Taylor said.
"Oftentimes, the biggest office gossipers are looking for others with whom they can commiserate. You’re best served by remaining neutral. Try your best to stay in an observation versus participation mode."
On the whole, gossip in the workplace is unavoidable. However, you can restrict how widespread it is and whether people focus on trash-talking others or have a more positive attitude on sharing information. According to SHRM, one of the dangers of gossip is that it erodes trust and morale in the office. It also leads to lots of wasted time and lower productivity.
Meanwhile, if employees know that someone gossips about everything and anything that they say and do, they might feel more anxious. What’s more, they might not know which rumors are true and which aren’t. Gossip can also end up hurting people’s feelings and reputations, and can lead to friction between colleagues.
You get paid to get on with your team mates. You don’t have to like them, but you have to try your best to get on with them.
HR is not your friend. Source: I am HR.
I am not your friend, I sometimes would like to be, but it would be like a doctor dating patients. I view us as being on the same team and want to win together and am focused on how to help us all win. I am rare... again, HR is not your friend.
If everything is an emergency, then nothing is an emergency.
Exactly. I kept receiving urgent e-mails, with that red exclamation mark, and with bold big red emergency words in it. I had enough, took every e-mail from that week with such an exclamation mark and emergency key word and attached it to the last e-mail (mostly the same recipients) and wrote, that this emergency marks have lost their purpose, and every mail containing these things, will be scheduled for next week, since I already have enough "emergencies". I put the boss in cc and added that he's the only one who can tell me what is urgent or important. The rest should refrain from that wording. I received exactly one answer, from the boss, saying that none of those e-mails are urgent and I can handle them they way I would without the emergency marks. Great boss!
However, Indeed points out there’s a difference between whether someone intends to spread gossip on purpose or simply exchanges information about the situation at work. Gossip can be positive if someone, say, compliments a coworker. On the flip side, gossip that is meant to exclude someone can contribute to a toxic workplace environment.
If you find out that you’re the subject of your coworkers’ gossip, you can politely ask them to stop. Try to keep calm and cool as you do this. If that doesn’t work and the malicious gossip continues to spread behind your back, talk to your manager and explain the situation to them. Alternatively, speak to your human resources rep—they probably have a lot of experience navigating interpersonal conflicts and can mediate the situation.
Always assume everything you say will be repeated to someone else, even when you’re on the phone in your office with no one else in there. Walls are thin. Don’t gossip, ever. That can make your work life miserable REALLY quickly.
If you work in an environment where you replace other workers (Eg a hospital), arrive on time. My time is just as important as yours. You might not think that arriving 2-3 minutes late is an issue, but I become irrationally angry when this happens. You’re taking MY time now…
It’s not all black and white, though. An expert in the psychology of gossiping, Elena Martinescu, a research associate at Vrije Universitetit Amsterdam, told BBC Worklife that she believes gossip is generally a good thing. “According to evolutionary theory, humans have developed gossip in order to facilitate co-operation in a group,” she said.
She states that gossip helps people understand “which colleagues one can trust and who one should be careful with.”
Meanwhile, management professor Matthew Feinberg, from the University of Toronto, told the BBC that most gossip is benign, though damaging forms of it certainly do exist. Moreover, management professor Shannon Taylor, from the University of Central Florida, pointed out that the main purpose of gossip is to help employees make sense of their environment.
Do not Reply All
ALWAYS 'reply all'. I copied those people in because they are pertinent to the discussion and I'd like them to see the response too.
Always drink two non alcoholic drinks before starting in with any alcohol at any work social functions. Give everyone else a head start so you never become the drama discussed the next day. Or don’t drink at all.
Pizza is not a raise. Do not be bought out by pizza and think everything is okay
Don't send any bad news or criticising emails after 2pm on a Friday. The other person can't do anything about it except worry all weekend, and that sucks. Save it for Monday
No one is a rock star and we’re not having a meeting in the war room. We sell software Carl.
Nobody is there because they want to be. Everyone has something or someone they’d rather be spending their time with. Everyone is just paying their bills and goes through the same motions you are. Be sensitive to everyone’s time and work.
Don’t give details about why you are sick or going on vacation when asking your manager for time off. They do not need to know in order to determine whether or not you can take the time off. People love judging if your time off is “worthy” so don’t give them the chance. You also can report a manager to HR if they deny sick time (at least in the US, I’ve seen people fired over this)
"Deny sick time" is just such an alien concept for most non-US people. You're sick today? Stay at home, yes of course you'll still be pad. You have a serious condition and will be off sick for some time? Yes, of course you'll still be paid. And no, they don't need to know, and aren't allowed to ask, what the problem is.
Don't f*****g date anyone there.
I dated a guy I waited tables with when I was in my 20's. We don't work together anymore, but he still calls and texts me every day, professing his never-ending love and devotion. He stops by my work hoping to talk to me for a few minutes. Last night I even woke up to find him crawling in bed beside me! If we weren't married for the last 23 years I'd be really creeped out!
If you are being trained for a position accept the training. If you act like you already know it all (even if you do) people won’t share the little things that may be unique to that situation that make things easier.
And sometimes the one training is sticking to old computer programs and doesent wanna expand their knowledge or how to improve working with the software. 😐
Treat new hires with respect. One of them might end up your superior sooner than you know.
if you're a woman, don't bring treats in/set up lunches/throw parties and events unless the men are doing it too, or you'll turn in to the office mom/caregiver and that hurts your career prospects. I followed this rule staunchly for a while, then gave in a few times, and now my boss comes to me for all of it, even though there are plenty of men on the team that could do it but don't or won't. Even after pointing out to my boss that he does this, and him realizing how that looks, he still defaults to me.
Doing these things throws the workplace dynamics off balance, with Office Mom doing extra social stuff. Better for the staff to order out and chip in for pizza, donuts or whatever.
Please don’t be that person that cuts your nails at your desk.
Always be about 10 or 20% less chatty than everyone else.
Why tho? Don’t talk for the sake of hearing your own voice, but why spend your life comparing your word count?
Coworkers are not your friends. Be cordial, but keep your personal life to yourself. Those that gossip to you, will gossip about you
Hygiene, but also avoid anything that leaves a strong scent on you. Some people are very sensitive to scent, and no one likes being trapped in a small space with a suffocating amount of perfume or cologne or body spray.
It's ok to say something to them too when stuck with them all the time. I love using scented hand sanitizer but it made the coworker behind me sneeze and cough so she asked me not to use it so I stopped. I felt bad - I didn't realize it was affecting her like that. I thought she just had allergies.
Please turn off the audio on your computer or leave headphones plugged into it. There is nothing more annoying than the constant pinging whenever your neighbour gets a new email come in.
Preach it, loudly! Had a coworker who, first thing upon arrival, put on one of their Spotify play lists that had the exact same 25 songs but in a different order. Every freeking day, the same c**p and at a volume that required asking them to "turn that &hit down, please" in order to do your business. I wanted to get into their computer settings and disable their sound.
This might not be one, but always talk about salary with your coworkers, found out I was actually the one with highest pay compared to my coworkers, who had more experience, but the same workload as me.
I was in the lower part, even with six years in the company. The last year working there, union fixed so we would get a minimium wage - I was under that line.. And that was minimun entry wage. 🤣
The chatty self-proclaimed expert: knows nothing.
The one gen Xer that doesn't talk to anyone, ever! Unless absolutely required: they know everything.
If it's in an email, it is evidence.
Also, don't f*****g talk to me when I'm pissing at a urinal.
Also, keep all emails from staff members you don’t trust and insist they give you everything they ask you to do in writing. When they f**k you over further down the line, it’s good to dip into your archive and say “But in your email of 4th June 2019, you clearly said..etc.”. It’s saved my a**e several times over the years.
Never, and I mean, ***NEVER***, trust someone (usually those who are considered as a senior in the organization), who says to you "if you have any complaints and/ or grudges you'd like to express about the company or the company leaderships, tell us. You can trust us to be on your side."
I learned this the hard way; those who said you can trust them are those who you should trust the least in a company.
Your coworkers are not your friends. It’s possible, but don’t just assume people will have your back and look out for you just because you’re friendly. People suck.
People do suck but also if it comes down to me or you, even if we're friends, I gotta go with me. Bills are high and money is tight. It's not personal
Use all of the company benefits!! I have met so many people who don’t take advantage of the free stuff their company offers because they never read the benefit plan or perks page. You may find out your plan covers massages or that you get free gym memberships and subscriptions that you’d otherwise pay for yourself.
In my current company, if you have prescription glasses and get 'office glasses' (ie, gradient strength with a reading part and a screen part) the company will re-imburse you up to 200 euros at certain intervals. It is there for everyone, but not everyone knows - not even the recently promoted teamleader knew until I had him sign my expenses form.
My workplace rule is don't ask Kevin about crop circles if you don't want to be held hostage at his desk for an hour or so. We tell the new people but curiosity always wins out and they get given the 2 hour presentation about aliens during work time.... Why do we keep Kevin you ask. Because his the only guy that can fix certain things so it's cheaper to just keep him happy and give him new victims to lecture to once and a while.
Do not talk ill of your coworkers to a coworker. Keep it to yourself, you don’t know if they’ll pass on the info
Too many backstabbers in the office, which I have learned the hard way
If you notice an office culture of various people bringing snacks to share, like donuts or cupcakes, don’t be a mooch or piggy. Always taking and not contributing can make for hard feelings. Don’t take more than one until everyone has had some. Just because there are 5 varieties doesn’t mean you should take 1 of each.
Don't touch other people. You may be cool doing that to you're friends but at a workplace that is a big no no and I'm surprised so many people still don't know that. Also don't steal people's lunch in the fridge. Also don't ever ask about their religion or politics.
Use your inside voice. I don’t need to here your conversation from the other side of the building.
Or the person on opposite side, it's is a modern phone and you're not waving on a jet on an aircraft carrier, two feet from it!
Don't touch other people's food in the breakroom. It's not yours, leave it alone you absolute savages.
Your energy and perception within the team are more important than actual performance..
nobody likes the pencil pusher, but people love the average but a fun person to be with
... sounds like all those school projects where you're the only one who does f**k all.... but the happy-chatty-extrovert gets all the credit. Sigh... and this is why office jobs just kill me.
On gossip: listen, but don’t share.
Or share good things. Like: "Kevin know really much about crop cirkles!" /s
Do not schedule meetings from noon till 1pm unless absolutely necessary
Or at least provide a decent lunch if there is really no other time to schedule them.
CYA. DOCUMENT EVERYTHING.
had a phone call, follow up the minutes of that call via email.
If you can’t email a copy to yourself, have a burner phone and take a photo.
This is a MINIMUM... even with doing this, your A still won't be C'd... because if the higher ups... HR... boss's pet all decide to just 'pretend that they never saw it' - apparently, that works. I had a job once where everything was documented, with multiple redundancies... when confronted, the antagonistic individual in question (ie: the one who actually dropped the ball and was actually being called out on it) said "What follow ups would those be?" and "I didn't see any notes or feedback" - and despite me literally copying/posting/pasting ALL the evidence.... the Boss... the boss's boss... the other 'besties'... they just 'didn't look at it'. They pretended I hadn't posted or provided anything... like I'd been silent on the matter. They knew I couldn't afford a lawyer, so they just... didn't care.
If you're coming into a new job, take a minute to soak everything in and watch the dynamic. Sometimes people have a flow. They come in, get their stuff done and leave with minimal contact. If you want to celebrate birthdays and get people together you might want to observe and see if people are into that before pushing for it. I for one don't want to spend any more time with my coworkers, especially outside of work.
Don’t smell.
Don’t smell bad obviously. Bathe. Deodorant. But also. Don’t smell too good. People don’t want to smell you. If you’re not leaning over my shoulder to show me something I should not smell anything. Your scent should not linger in my office after you leave, Emily. Same goes for your office. If I pick up your smell being in your office and it sticks to me I am annoyed. Small pieces of your smell adhered to my skin hair and clothing and go into my nose later and it’s gross and your fault.
Don’t smell.
1. HR is there to protect the Company
2. Management never want staff discussing salaries because it allows them to pay folk less. If you can discuss salaries without it being ego driven and selfish... then your peers will make more.
3. Almost all walls and floors have ears. ..careful what you say to others.
4. If in corporates . . . Learn politics. .who to be close to and who not to.....when to do more and when to hold back and reject work....you will ascend much faster than if you just try to rise on merit and performance.
Always allow people to underestimate you. Then you're a pleasant surprise at times, rather than a disappointment. I noticed this in offices. The person who does their job, but doesn't have any flair is suddenly amazing when they manage something with a bit of difference to it, but if you're known for taking everything on board then it's expected.
That most meetings could just be an email.
Don’t talk about work during lunch break. Give people (and yourself) some rest!
You don't get to whistle in an office with other people.
never show them your full potential because then thats their chance to go and over work you because "you're good at it‘’
My husband and I did this once.. we worked at the place together for a year, he worked there a year before I started. My boss loved putting my husband and I on projects because they'd get done at a reasonable pace and we weren't screwing around (too much to slow us down). But we were severely underpaid for the amount of work we did. We put in more hours than the family did at their own business! We had a fight with the boss about taking a weekend off. After that there was a lot of turmoil between my husband and the boss.
Treat interns respectfully and never gig-gig-giggity with them.
Never ever comment on someone’s weight
Always find something nice to say to anyone you interact with - even if it's just a tiny thing. Being kind oils the workplace wheels.
Don't rat on your co-workers
But don't put yourself in a position to take a fall for someone else's problem(s).
Never assume somethings been done. Always ask the question, always double check.
Spending that 5 minutes extra and finding out the report has been sent, or that bolt has been tightened is always worth doing. Because if you assume and it hasn't been done, that could spell disaster for you.
On the other hand, if someone said thay would do it but didn't, don't be scared to call them out. Even if the other one is higher-up.
Operate with the understanding that everyone is replaceable, even yourself. It may seem like some people are so ingrained in the process the company could not get by without them. Reality is if that person got hit by a bus, the company would be fine.
Do NOT bring your dirty laundry(baggage) to work. I made this mistake during an incredibly rough time and though everyone has been cool, I can't help but think people are pitying me and it seems they walk on eggshells around me. So yeah, at the door, leave your home coat on the rack, put on your work coat, and do your job.
Make sure the work that you have done get recognized
- edit a word
Get along with everyone/be a professional. Even if you can’t stand Janice 2 cubicles down you better be front and center with a huge smile singing happy birthday to her every year.
The 9-3 rule is your friend. Also, don’t schedule meetings for a full hour. 45 minutes is enough, often too much. Meetings are like sharks. They will take up however much room you give them.
And if the meeting gets off-track and people start talking about other stuff, and the meetingleader does not seem to care, donot be afraid to stand up and say 'so, we all agree the matter at hand has been discussed, so I am now leaving this meeting to continue my actual job/go to lunch/go home'
For the bosses: don’t fire someone first thing in the morning. You knew you were gonna fire them yesterday, and making them get up early and waste their gas just to be told that they no longer have a job often ends badly, especially in America.
For the bosses: don’t fire someone first thing in the morning. You knew you were gonna fire them yesterday, and making them get up early and waste their gas just to be told that they no longer have a job often ends badly, especially in America.
