We’ve all had some pretty dumb injuries in our lives. Just last night, I slept on my neck weird, and now I’m writing this looking at the screen from a 15-degree angle to the right. But what takes the cake is when I fell and badly hurt myself during the holidays after failing to notice a pothole because I was too busy admiring a gorgeous palm tree at a botanical garden. Embarrassing? You betcha!
But that’s nothing compared to what some other people have been sharing on Twitter after LA-based NFL analyst for ESPN, Mina Kimes, asked them about their stupidest injuries. And I have to say, popping your jaw while brushing your teeth too hard really makes me feel for you, Mina!
While you’re reading through the stories about dumb injuries, upvote the ones that made you groan the loudest, as well as the ones that you can relate to. And, if you’re feeling up to it, share your own similar stories in the comment section. Fortunately, there are ways to recover from such injuries more quickly, as well as to reduce the frequency of such embarrassing moments as we age.
Image credits: minakimes
Image credits: minakimes
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Lol I have many experiences like this. One being similar in that on a few occasions I have fallen asleep with my arm in a weird position only for it to go numb and I wake up with my own hand on my face, but have no feeling in my hand, so I freak the eff out because I wonder who's hand is on me.... only to have to use my other arm to lift it off my head. Next, I got a tattoo on my inner bicep and had my arm back behind my head for a couple hours while the artist worked on it. Finally they said to stretch it out, and I didn't realize my arm was completely dead and when I moved it, I had no control and punched her square in the thigh.
Stupid, completely avoidable injuries can make you reevaluate your life and make tons of promises about how you’re going to live a completely healthy life from now on. At least for a few minutes if the injury’s not too serious; longer if your bones now ache after the injury, foretelling the coming rain.
As we age, our bodies tend to get weaker. Our bones shrink in size and density, our muscles lose strength and flexibility, and we become more prone to accidents. However, getting into the habit of moving lots and being physically active is one of the ways that we can offset the gradual decline of our bodies.
Activities like walking, swimming, weight training, and calisthenics help us stay strong, less prone to injury, and keep our bodies fit, so we recover from accidents quicker than if we were couch potatoes.
Another part of staying healthy is eating a healthy diet that’s low in saturated salt and fat, and has a variety of veggies, fruits, high-fiber foods, and lean sources of protein in it. You also ought to limit your intake of sugar, quit smoking, and either completely give up or greatly reduce how much alcohol you consume. Managing stress via exercise, socializing, and mediation, as well as getting enough sleep, are two further ways how you’ll stay fit, focused, and capable.
If you’re already very physically active (I assume there are at least a few professional athletes among our readers!), then you need to be aware of what you can do to reduce the risk of injury during training and competitions.
Health Plus explains that most sports injuries can be avoided by doing some form of warm-up like stretching or cardio. However, there’s also the need for proper cool-downs after you finish exercising. The amount of time you spend cooling down should be roughly twice as long as you spend on your warm-up.
The right equipment, shoes, and clothes are also important factors. Of course, knowing how to do particular exercises is much more important than splurging on top-notch gear, but it’s still nonetheless an important aspect to consider if you can afford it.
Guess you must’ve been pretty thick-skulled! (This is a joke, please don’t murder me)
If you do suffer a sports injury, you should remember the RICE method. RICE stands for rest, ice, compression, and elevation. If you become injured, you should get as much rest as possible and refrain from straining the area. Apply an ice pack on the soft tissue area that’s hurt. Next, wrap the area with a medical bandage to prevent swelling: not too loose but not too tight, either. Finally, raise the injured body part above the level of your heart to reduce pain and swelling.
I feel bad for laughing at this one, but the image is just so clear
You would think the doctor would have scheduled an appointment at the time for 3 weeks, and called when you failed to show.... at least that is how it would work where I live
https://nhl.nbcsports.com/2015/10/25/beau-bennett-hurt-himself-celebrating-a-goal/comment-page-1/
Umm... you should also mix the boiling water with some cold water and TEST the temperature first....
I wore a similar boot when I broke my toe in fourth grade after running in my house
Hope you are better now. I once slipped a disc picking up the mail off the floor.
One morning I rolled my ankle after sleeping with my leg sticking off the side of the bed reducing blood circulation to my feet. I didn't know my foot was asleep until I stepped out of bed and collapsed.
You are an accident waiting to happen. Hope your experience with the glass door wasn't shattering.
A can opener would have done the trick. I hate when those pop tops break.
OH NOOOO that musta been horrible BUT AT LEAST YOU FOUND THE BABY- YOUR KING/QUEEN NOW
I am struggling to picture how someone would break there elbows by running into a wall.
A guy I played with struck out even though he was hit by the pitch twice in the same at bat. Two pitches in a row inside, he swung and they hit him in the chest. Still a strike if you swing!
All I want for Christmas Is my two front teeth My two front teeth Just my two front teeth Gee, if I could only have My two front teeth Then I could wish you Merry Christmas It seems so long since I could say, "Sister Suzy sitting on a thistle" Gosh, oh gee How happy I'd be If I could only "whithle" All I want for Christmas Is my two front teeth My two front teeth Just my two front teeth Gee, if I could only have my two front teeth Then I could wish you Merry Christmas All I want for Christmas Is my two front teeth My two front teeth Just my two front teeth Gee, I if I could only have my two front teeth Then I could wish you Merry Christmas
One time I broke a cheap fork biting on to it- almost swallowed the severed prongs.
Well, earlier this year (January) I’d just finished watching the Lord of the Rings trilogy, and decided to try out sliding down my stairs on a shield (a Captain America one) like Legolas did. One very well deserved concussion later, I came to the conclusion that I am not a graceful, thousand year old elf, and therefore should not be attempting those kinds of stunts.
Just yesterday, I was making the bed when my cat came flying in to jump on the bed. The timing was perfect - or perfectly wrong - and he slammed headfirst into my thigh. Somehow, he then instantly pivoted 180 degrees off my leg and leapt about 6 feet away, then turned and looked at me with a "What the heck just happened?!" face. I have a lovely bruise, but, to be fair, it was hilarious.
My brother was trying to aggressively sign 'what do you want to eat' and punched himself in the mouth and started bleeding
One time I put an oven mitt on, opened the oven with the mitted hand and proceeded to grab the 400 degree cookie sheet with my bare hand. I was both sober and well rested.
Stabbed my hand bad enough to need surgery - taking butter with a sharp knife. A second before, my wife told me to be carefull and not stab myself - and to put on my protective glove. An old injury has left me with rubbish motor skills in my left hand, so I tend to Hurt my right hand whenever I doing something with a knife/sharp tool.
My sister cut her hand while slicing a bagel so bad she needed stitches and severely damaged the tendons. Apparently, according to the surgeon, this happens very often with bagels.
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Wait until you're old. You'll wake up aching somewhere even though you did nothing other than sleep. It can even last days/weeks. I threw out my shoulder...Sleeping...SMH.
I've gotten a lot of stupid injuries, but miraculously have never broken anything. Except my pride. That's been shattered multiple times.
Was picking up grass/weeds then felt a thorn in my hand. All of a sudden I had pressure there n noticed it was a rattlesnake biting me! Started laughing n taking pics (didn't hurt at all) then called 911 once my arm was swelling up almost to my shoulder. Had 2 liters of anti-venom injected.
The ancient microwave in my new home was not working correctly and displayed a variety of error codes. I kept using it, unplugging it between uses. The last time I used it I electrocuted myself. I ended up in the hospital. Doctors stopped by just to meet the person electrocuted by their own microwave. The after hospitalization care sheet had one sentence, "Buy a new microwave."
My husband confused my Dockers for his, put them on and panicked because he couldn't button them and came up above his ankles. While standing in a doorway, he then did that little jump thing you do when you're trying to pull up your pants and whacked his head on the doorway and almost knocked himself out. So there he was, in my too-small-for-him pants, laying on the ground, holding his head, and wondering why his pants don't fit. I think I peed myself laughing so hard.
my most stupid injury was me on the swing, minding my own buisness, i saw a truck woosh by, everything went black. Because i saw a truck and got scared and fell off. I woke up in bed with a dislocated elbow. Thank god my mom is a doctor! i was 8
When I was five at my aunt's wedding I tripped on one of the lumps on the carpet and fell forward on the metal stage. I dislocated my jaw.
Sprained my back answering phone home alone. Just suddenly wanted to do some weird poses... probably yoga like but wasn't really thinking about anything specific... you know... like... you are talking with someone but really nobody's really watching you being weird... so I got carried away... hmmmmm I wonder about myself too...
Leaned over the arm of my chair to pick up a pen. Pushed too hard - broken rib.
I was saying goodbye to my cousin who had come to visit. They had rented a car that was a bit small. I'm tall, and was standing leaning over the door with one hand up along the roof area and the other hand on the door to close it for her. When I closed the door the sharp metal corner of it raked across my whole abdomen, tearing my blouse and raking a deep gash about 6" long along my stomach. I had to go get a tetanus shot, 14 stitches and still have a faint line of a scar.
3 year old me thought it was a good idea to touch a iron that had been left on. I still have the scar on my left hand.
3 year old me thought touching a hot charcoal grill would be a good idea. For over a decade you could see the scar when my arm would tan.
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When I was 12 some friends were going to the top of a hill and rolling down and I wanted to join them. My very first time down, a dandelion stem happened to go right into my ear and ruptured my ear drum. The doctor had very thoroughly (and painfully) clean out all the dandelion fluff and dirt so it wouldn’t get infected. It was the absolute most excruciating pain.
I have loads but this is the worst, I tore a ligament in my right hip from doing the dishes.
I'd ask how, but my husband somehow did the same to his knee, while doing the dishes. Still no idea how. Just... happened.
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I burned both hands and burned and broke my foot ironing once. I knocked the iron with my elbow and it started to fall. like a moron, I tried to catch it to stop it burning my carpet and grabbed the hot plate burning my fingers. I immediately dropped the iron which landed point down on my foot, burning it and breaking a metatarsal bone. It then landed on the carpet and burned that too. I badly injured my hands and foot for nothing.
I myself have multiple. I had broke my finger pitching to a friend’s brother and he hit a line drive to my finger. Broke my pointer finger. Then i was skipping on my way to a park at party (with a bunch of 15-18 year olds at 10 o’clock) and twisted my ankle and fell over. Sprained my ankle really bad. Still went to the park and did stuff. And finally, there were a couple sucky boys who clearly liked me really pissing me off. I may be a lesbian, but I was chasing them only because they were extremely annoying. When I was in hand grasping distance, he made a very sharp turn, and I tripped over the ridiculously tall border and fell down very steeply and broke my arm. I gave them he** the rest of the year.
My front tooth embedded in a guys skull while playing footie (soccer) from colliding on the field. He got seven sutures in his scalp. I got nicknamed "Headbiter" in Grade 5 because of it. My tooth cracked but didn't break. Made off with a root canal recently. He gave me the sutures after they removed them from the healed cut.
Just after I got my cockatiel, I had him sitting on my shoulder one afternoon. Long story short, I moved suddenly which spooked him, he took off in a wing flapping frenzy and smacked me in the eye with his wing on his way. I ended up with a bloody eyeball for two weeks and had to explain to the doctor and optometrist what happened. Every time I see the optometrist, she asks how my bird is..
I got a crazy foot sprain on a damn slip n slide.. never really let it heal and proceeded to then go camping and hike in the Grandy canyon on a bum foot and ended up fracturing it.. still have issues a year later
A straw slipped through my lips while taking a sip and it cut the back of my throat
I tripped headfirst into a stone trash can, broke one of my teeth clean in half. Half of it came out, had to get the other half yanked.
Not me but witnessed a few crazy injuries. Once a friend and I were jumping on her trampoline during a cook out her dad was having. One of the guests who was very drunk joined us. He said watch this, did a back flip, and his head landed on the springs busting it open. He needed stitches. My cousin decided to open my grandpa’s rv door and fell out landing on a rock. She also needed stitches. Finally a friend had a tick on the back of her neck. I got it off and I guess it shocked her because she fainted and busted her head on her bath tub. Maybe I’m unlucky to others 😂
Dislocated ankle getting out of friends jeep. Walked around two months on in. Was on my knees putting stock away (they called me gimp because of it) an as I stood up I screamed as it popped back in. Also would randomly as kid get fingers caught in doors an have bloody nails. And get electrocuted when unplugging stuff fingers would slip over the plug an touch the tines in the outlet. So I have a bad habit to pull cords out instead of the plug bit. And I was hit by lightening as a kid too. Fml.
Another fave: Was sitting in a bench on an outside basketball court, was one of the kinds you can climb into and sit inside. Well, my BFF's little brother either had no idea I was in it, or just really hates me (i think the latter is more likely as my head was clearly poking out the top and the seat was off) and he tipped it upside down. I had temporary paralysis for two minutes after it landed on my back.
According to the body of the article we can reduce our chances of getting hurt if we reduce intake of saturated salt and practice mediation :’D (edit:spelling)
I broke a foot by slightly stepping off a curb wrong. I broke the other one when I stepped down a stair slightly wrong. I do not know how people are not breaking feet left and right if it is so easy!
Gave myself a black eye at work. I'm a secretary and had to ship a medium sized box. I put the box on the counter attached to my desk, about chest high. I have the tape gun thing and as I'm sealing a seam, I bend over a tiny bit because my back hurt. I've got my left hand on the box, my right hand using the tape gun and I'm pulling it so tightly. The tape breaks and my hand flies into my face. I scream out, "F*CK ME!" Boss comes running, I explain what happened, he runs around the office telling everyone and laughing like a mad man.
I have had stupid accidents that required medical intervention including falling off/out of some low healed sandals. I did not fall down, but broke off part of my heel and it broke and jammed into a joint in my foot. Like the majority of weird and clumsy things I have done, there were no witnesses. I am the person who is behind the glass partition flailing about, unheard and unseen by the people on the other side of the glass. The only really bad part is that I am getting to old to just pop up and pretend that I didn't just go flying through the air.
Broke my toe on a baby gate, standing against my wall. I kicked it & it went in between my pinky toe & the 2 before it. They couldn't be 100% sure but they pretty sure it cracked the bone in my foot too since it was so wonky & swollen afterwards. According to xrays, it healed great. My actual toe looks like a gnarly mess. Its still swollen (12ish yrs later) hangs to the right, like a noticeable amount. Wearing sandals & strappy shoes is a challenge now! Lol!
3 days ago, I put cups in the wall cabinet and stood on my right leg and stretched to reach it. After that I had a slight muscle soreness in the right calf. One day after that I went on the treadmill in the evening and walked slowly for only 5 minutes until a sharp pain shot up my calf. I could no longer walk with my right leg. Torn muscle fiber
I broke my pinky knuckle ("Boxer's fracture") by punching a solid wood door. The doctor said it was as if my knuckle was an ice cream cone with the top portion pushed off... The kicker? I had a punching bag outside, I was just too angry to go outside and use it... I still have pain in my pinky when it gets cold...
In preschool, there were no more paper towels in the bathroom. I had to go out and grab more from the long sink where everyone washed their hands. For some reason I decided to stare at the mirror while sprinting to the metal paper towel dispenser. I was a short kid, and hit my head just above my eye on my eyebrow on the sharp metal of the dispenser. Was very lucky I was half an inch shorter and it missed my eye. Long story short: had to get 5 stitches, freaked the teacher out, now have a bald spot on my eyebrow.
These make me feel better about all of my accidental injuries. When I was 4 I cracked my head open on a toilet, YES A TOILET, at a restaurant, because I wanted to change into a dress. My sister was helping me in the stall and I fell forward, hitting my forehead right on the bowl, blood everywhere. My friend accidentally broke my nose because we were playing ninjas on the trampoline in the DARK. Then as an adult I had an eye injury, chicken wire through my pupil, because I simply bent over on my porch to get my kitten and didn't see the chicken wire on the shelf above her. Explaining how I got stabbed in the eye with chicken wire to several different doctors at the ER was fun.
I cut my face opening one of those thick tubes of hamburger. I'm pretty sure they doctor that stitched me up thought I was covering for my boyfriend at the time. I'm like no, I was just stupid.
I have several... broke my right pinky by backing into a wall. Broke my right pinky toe by accidentally kicking a door jamb while fixing a toilet. Used to stretch my shoulders too far when I was younger so now the tendons are loose and let my arms pop out slightly at random. Played football (centre back and striker mostly) for about a decade and because of the damage to my knees I once had my patella slide out of place and bac kin while at work, just by kneeling.
I still have the scar across my eyebrow from "surfing" across the freshly hot-hosed floor in the back of Hardees. We'd routinely hot hose everything down to try and clean the pervasive GREASE that coated EVERYTHING in the place, which of course water on top of grease made for a very attractive sliding opportunity. I got a GREAT run - too good, in fact - it ended when I slammed into the sink, my legs went under the sink and my face smacked the floor where my glasses cut into my eyebrow area. Despite my best efforts to minimize attention being drawn to my stupidity, I could not get it to stop bleeding and got sent to ER for stitches.
Years ago when pull tab cans were just becoming a "thing" I sliced my hand open needing an ER visit with stitches. Did it again a few years later, same ER nurse. Of course the nurse and my wife had tons-O-fun at my expense.
last year, (oh geez might have been a year before that) i was on a spinny chair and i fell of and hit my head, i got concuseed really badly,
One time some boys kicked a soccer ball in my face by accident. I collapsed on one of my friends and nearly blacked out. I refused to go to the nurse though lol.
I one sliced my finger while pulling up grass from the ground.
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My best friend once sliced half of his hand clean off. While gardening. He dropped a flower pot and the surgery took 8 hours to put his hand back together.
• Dislocated my shoulder when I was stuck in my jacket and I panicked/got annoyed, took 6 months to heal. • I put myself in a wrist brace for a year when I closed a window (handle did not turn). • My brother playing darts, as I happened to walk by. Dart got stuck in my upper thigh muscle. And stayed there.
Okay, last one was not self inflicted, but as a kid I was horrified when I saw the dart sticking in my leg. (Still funny af, lol.)
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My mom was playing fetch with a dog, and threw the stick, but the dog thought that she was being aggressive, and bit her in the face. Then my mom walks into the kitchen where her mom was talking to a friend, and they scream in horror after seeing a little girl with blood dripping down her face.
let's see... i burned my right thigh with boiling water, poked almost all the way through my lip with a stick, sliced my hand open on a soup can, scratched my eye with a pair of scissors, and then there's the million times i've run into walls and other things and fallen off things and scratched myself... i have so many stupid injuries...
The word is *incurred* (on medical forms), as I know too well!. Dumbest injury? .... Sprained a wrist when I fell while teaching a visiting professor how to do the blasted macarena at a wedding reception. OW! Macarena...
I'm accident prone but somehow it's my husband who ends up with a the cool scars. Has one above his left eye from walking into a table when he was a kid, and one above his right from slamming into another guy playing dodgeball at a festival three years ago. (We're friends with the other guy now.)
scar #1: in kindergarten we were outside for gym on the soccer field. the field is on a big hill that is a pain in the ass to walk up. one day, a classmate of mine dared me to run down the hill. i tripped. have a scar on my knee. i remember that day very well. scar #2: when i was like 6 or something, i was jumping off the ottoman at our old house and after like the 4/5th jump is cracked my head on the damn tv stand. dont remember how many stitches. my dad still has the pic of my bloody forehead on the way to the ER. i still have the scar above my right eyebrow. scar #3: this isnt really that stupid, i just didnt think the scab would leave a mark. so i was at our gyms pool (not a school one. a fitness gym.) and was just swimming under water. i was pretty close to that rough floor, and i was gonna surface. so i move my hands from under me to push up, and scrape the back of my left hand on the floor. i never put a band aid on it cuz i never do that unless if its very serious. fast forward like a week or so, picked off the scab and all is good. fast forward to today, it left a scar.
You know those tools that you use for zesting types of fruits? Well, I once zested my own finger doing that. Thankfully it was only a scrape...
Was rushing down the stairs at night in the dark carrying DVD player, lost my footing and broke a bone in my foot. Kinda dumb.
Let's see, I broke my ankle when I was a kid by tripping over a toy tractor (Earlier that day I fell on the street and my arms were already covered by wounds), the doctor didn't believe it was broken since it was a tiny toy, took three days to get my parents the okay for me to go to the hospital for X-rays, and yes, it was broken. I broke three fingers playing basketball by trying to catch the ball. I broke my front teeth when I tripped as a kid. So half of my two front teeth are fake and one of the fake teeth broke when I leaned down to kiss my dog and the dog happily jumped up and collided with my teeth. I have a scar on my forehead from when I was playing on the monkeybars, wanted to lean up and forgot the monkeybars were still there? Yeah, stitches needed. The list goes on. The joys of being an ADD person
I used to live with a carpenter. The day he shot himself in the finger with a nail gun was the same day I fell off a chair while cleaning the house and broke my wrist. He’s calling me to tell me he’s going to the hospital and I’m on the other line telling him the same thing!
About 12 years ago I got up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. Quickly found out my foot was asleep when I tried to place my weight on it. I heard a snap and it buckled beneath me. I then fell into my nightstand, cracking a rib on it. Hobbled my way to the bathroom and felt around to check if there was a break. Fractures but nothing felt separated from where it should be. I was a single mom with no babysitting available ever and zero sick days at work because I had used them all for when my kids was sick. So I took some tylenol, wrapped everything in ace bandages, and tried to get back to sleep. Took kiddo to school and went to work the next day. My foot still makes a weird popping sound sometimes and my rib aches occasionally.
Two Christmases ago I was reaching for a box in the shed, on a ladder, wearing slippers. I fell off the ladder and landed on the power drill sitting on the work bench. I still have a dent in my left butt cheek.
In 2008, I had my first heart attack, so the doctors put me on blood thinners. I forgot that they warned me not to bump into things, because that could make me bruise easily. I was listening to some music while sitting, and starting pounding out the beat on my thighs. Yeah, you guessed it, when I next looked at my thighs, I found huge bruises and broken blood vessels on my thighs.
When my daughter was about 7, she went to the toilet during a PE lesson, so bare feet, and somehow managed to catch her big toe on the bottom of the door, ripped her toenail almost completely off. She wouldn't let us touch it to finish the job so we had to wait for it to work its way off over the next couple of weeks.
I was walking past hubby and he tried to pinch me in the butt. I did a shriek/squeal/sideways jump to get away from him and pulled a muscle in my back. I hurt for about 3 weeks.
When 17 or 18 years old I was playing with the induction coil from a furnace. I had set up a jacob's ladder like from old sci-fi movies. Noticed a loose screw holding one of the wires and decided to tighten it without turning it off. (The screwdriver had an insulated handle right?) So what I didn't notice is that the wires had started to droop. The thoched me on the backs of both hands. 10,000 volts at a 1/4 amp. My friend who was watching (I don't remember!) said I froze the somersaulted backwards and rolled across the room. I woke up with the chair I was sitting in smashed to splinters and my friend staring worriedly at me. When I asked what happened he started rolling on the floor laughing his butt off. He said it was the funniest thing he ever saw. Damage: two holes in my hand and permanent issues with short term memory. I was also diagnosed after with arrhythmia but don't know if it is related.
I dislocated both ankles jumping from rock to rock on the seashore. I missed the rock I was aiming for. Both feet twisted so bad I saw the bottom of them before I fell down. Had to drive bot my friends home before going to the hospital...in a standard! 35 years later both ankles will still sprain for no reason.
I've had so many... One time, I tried to step over some game materials my fourth grade students had left on the floor while reaching for something on a cabinet. Tripped and gave myself a huge black eye and mild concussion. Also, tripped walking out of an elevator. Black eye, cut that needed stitches and broken right elbow. Managed to break three bones in my left foot when I twisted it on the last step of a small staircase.
Some years ago, I came to grief in my own bathroom. There I was, sitting contemplating my navel (as it were), I completed my business, stood up too quickly, stumbled half a pace (still with trousers etc. round my ankles) and walloped my head off the wash basin, then stumbled back half a pace and burned my backside on the heated towel rail.
I got an injury on the internet. Read a dad joke. Really awful one. Laughed and cricked my neck. I was sore for a week...
i have actually had 3. 1. A fair few years ago i was in america i think (im 13 now so back then i was quite young) i was playing around and decided to jump through this metal sign. Got three cuts about the length of my whole arm on both my right arm and left leg. 2. about 2 years ago, i was almost late for school, so i started running. I tripped on wet leaves i think and buckled my left arm. It took a month to heal. 3. this is less of an injury, but on thursday, i was eating a gusto recipe called sofritas (you should try it it's reall nice), and it had rice in it. I sneezed while i was eating and kept my mouth closed for some reason. A lot of the rice in my mouth went up my nose and it burned. Sofritas are only mildly spicy but when they are up your nose for one reason or another, it burns like the fires of hell. I had to go to the bathroom, and tried blowing them out my nose, but they didn't budge. I was forced to snort them into my mouth, from my nose. About 25 rice grains came out
I found my community. I'm one of those people who walks into walls if they sit still long enough to be in my way. I've sprained an ankle tripping over a thought. Broke my heel and tore my achilles tendon dragging a caterer's cart loaded with flats of soda. Broke my rip coughing. Injured something - never been sure what - in my shoulder pulling an oversized Tshirt on overhead. Brand new in town, it was the Sunday of a long weekend, I knew no one and basically could not use my left arm. Thank g/d one of Yelp's top-rated chiro's happened to be in his office doing paperwork that day... BUT: My best... landed in the hospital after hurting myself breathing. (It was -45. I was running to school and my scarf kept slipping. I literally froze my bronchial tubes.)
I got burned on my eyelid by cutting into a hard boiled egg (not in its shell) after I’d firmed it up in the microwave for a few seconds. It literally exploded. Luckily my face caught the worst of the blast so the ceiling wasn’t too bad.
Entered the gym we play roller hockey in at the end of youth practice, lost my balance somehow -helmet, sticks and bag in hand- and landed flat on my back, lightky tearing a lot of things in my neck though luckily didn't hit my head on the floor 😅 I also dislocated my kneecap while putting on my shoes after high school PE. 😅
Pick a year lol! I've had broken, dislocated, and chipped bones. I've had sprains, stitches, bruises, cuts and bites that have led to infections (even cellulitis), burns, concussions, mini coma, teeth knocked out, and these are just some of the ones that were created by injuries and most of them were dumb. I've also had countless health issues, hospitalizations, I've had surgeries, procedures, scars, I've even had organs removed. Let's just say I don't know what it's like to have a "normal" body or feel good lol.
I have another story. My mom used to be very bad at cutting bagels. She had countless times cutting her hand, and once even went to the hospital for a cut. My dad had enough and bought her a bagel guillotine. Sadly it dis not work, but my mom stopped cutting herself.
1. I tripped over my husband’s feet. We both broke a toe! 2. Having warned all 3 octogenarians to watch the odd step I tripped over it. Broke my right ankle and sprained my left ankle. When we went places for the next few weeks had one in wheelchair, one using walker, one using cane and me on crutches.
So when I was a kid we had this trampoline and so we would jump up and down but do cool moves on the floor I sat on the floor got back (while jumping so it was pretty fast) and hurt my ligaments.
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I gave myself a black eye while joking around with my boyfriend at the time.
Well, earlier this year (January) I’d just finished watching the Lord of the Rings trilogy, and decided to try out sliding down my stairs on a shield (a Captain America one) like Legolas did. One very well deserved concussion later, I came to the conclusion that I am not a graceful, thousand year old elf, and therefore should not be attempting those kinds of stunts.
Just yesterday, I was making the bed when my cat came flying in to jump on the bed. The timing was perfect - or perfectly wrong - and he slammed headfirst into my thigh. Somehow, he then instantly pivoted 180 degrees off my leg and leapt about 6 feet away, then turned and looked at me with a "What the heck just happened?!" face. I have a lovely bruise, but, to be fair, it was hilarious.
My brother was trying to aggressively sign 'what do you want to eat' and punched himself in the mouth and started bleeding
One time I put an oven mitt on, opened the oven with the mitted hand and proceeded to grab the 400 degree cookie sheet with my bare hand. I was both sober and well rested.
Stabbed my hand bad enough to need surgery - taking butter with a sharp knife. A second before, my wife told me to be carefull and not stab myself - and to put on my protective glove. An old injury has left me with rubbish motor skills in my left hand, so I tend to Hurt my right hand whenever I doing something with a knife/sharp tool.
My sister cut her hand while slicing a bagel so bad she needed stitches and severely damaged the tendons. Apparently, according to the surgeon, this happens very often with bagels.
Load More Replies... Wait until you're old. You'll wake up aching somewhere even though you did nothing other than sleep. It can even last days/weeks. I threw out my shoulder...Sleeping...SMH.
I've gotten a lot of stupid injuries, but miraculously have never broken anything. Except my pride. That's been shattered multiple times.
Was picking up grass/weeds then felt a thorn in my hand. All of a sudden I had pressure there n noticed it was a rattlesnake biting me! Started laughing n taking pics (didn't hurt at all) then called 911 once my arm was swelling up almost to my shoulder. Had 2 liters of anti-venom injected.
The ancient microwave in my new home was not working correctly and displayed a variety of error codes. I kept using it, unplugging it between uses. The last time I used it I electrocuted myself. I ended up in the hospital. Doctors stopped by just to meet the person electrocuted by their own microwave. The after hospitalization care sheet had one sentence, "Buy a new microwave."
My husband confused my Dockers for his, put them on and panicked because he couldn't button them and came up above his ankles. While standing in a doorway, he then did that little jump thing you do when you're trying to pull up your pants and whacked his head on the doorway and almost knocked himself out. So there he was, in my too-small-for-him pants, laying on the ground, holding his head, and wondering why his pants don't fit. I think I peed myself laughing so hard.
my most stupid injury was me on the swing, minding my own buisness, i saw a truck woosh by, everything went black. Because i saw a truck and got scared and fell off. I woke up in bed with a dislocated elbow. Thank god my mom is a doctor! i was 8
When I was five at my aunt's wedding I tripped on one of the lumps on the carpet and fell forward on the metal stage. I dislocated my jaw.
Sprained my back answering phone home alone. Just suddenly wanted to do some weird poses... probably yoga like but wasn't really thinking about anything specific... you know... like... you are talking with someone but really nobody's really watching you being weird... so I got carried away... hmmmmm I wonder about myself too...
Leaned over the arm of my chair to pick up a pen. Pushed too hard - broken rib.
I was saying goodbye to my cousin who had come to visit. They had rented a car that was a bit small. I'm tall, and was standing leaning over the door with one hand up along the roof area and the other hand on the door to close it for her. When I closed the door the sharp metal corner of it raked across my whole abdomen, tearing my blouse and raking a deep gash about 6" long along my stomach. I had to go get a tetanus shot, 14 stitches and still have a faint line of a scar.
3 year old me thought it was a good idea to touch a iron that had been left on. I still have the scar on my left hand.
3 year old me thought touching a hot charcoal grill would be a good idea. For over a decade you could see the scar when my arm would tan.
Load More Replies... When I was 12 some friends were going to the top of a hill and rolling down and I wanted to join them. My very first time down, a dandelion stem happened to go right into my ear and ruptured my ear drum. The doctor had very thoroughly (and painfully) clean out all the dandelion fluff and dirt so it wouldn’t get infected. It was the absolute most excruciating pain.
I have loads but this is the worst, I tore a ligament in my right hip from doing the dishes.
I'd ask how, but my husband somehow did the same to his knee, while doing the dishes. Still no idea how. Just... happened.
Load More Replies... I burned both hands and burned and broke my foot ironing once. I knocked the iron with my elbow and it started to fall. like a moron, I tried to catch it to stop it burning my carpet and grabbed the hot plate burning my fingers. I immediately dropped the iron which landed point down on my foot, burning it and breaking a metatarsal bone. It then landed on the carpet and burned that too. I badly injured my hands and foot for nothing.
I myself have multiple. I had broke my finger pitching to a friend’s brother and he hit a line drive to my finger. Broke my pointer finger. Then i was skipping on my way to a park at party (with a bunch of 15-18 year olds at 10 o’clock) and twisted my ankle and fell over. Sprained my ankle really bad. Still went to the park and did stuff. And finally, there were a couple sucky boys who clearly liked me really pissing me off. I may be a lesbian, but I was chasing them only because they were extremely annoying. When I was in hand grasping distance, he made a very sharp turn, and I tripped over the ridiculously tall border and fell down very steeply and broke my arm. I gave them he** the rest of the year.
My front tooth embedded in a guys skull while playing footie (soccer) from colliding on the field. He got seven sutures in his scalp. I got nicknamed "Headbiter" in Grade 5 because of it. My tooth cracked but didn't break. Made off with a root canal recently. He gave me the sutures after they removed them from the healed cut.
Just after I got my cockatiel, I had him sitting on my shoulder one afternoon. Long story short, I moved suddenly which spooked him, he took off in a wing flapping frenzy and smacked me in the eye with his wing on his way. I ended up with a bloody eyeball for two weeks and had to explain to the doctor and optometrist what happened. Every time I see the optometrist, she asks how my bird is..
I got a crazy foot sprain on a damn slip n slide.. never really let it heal and proceeded to then go camping and hike in the Grandy canyon on a bum foot and ended up fracturing it.. still have issues a year later
A straw slipped through my lips while taking a sip and it cut the back of my throat
I tripped headfirst into a stone trash can, broke one of my teeth clean in half. Half of it came out, had to get the other half yanked.
Not me but witnessed a few crazy injuries. Once a friend and I were jumping on her trampoline during a cook out her dad was having. One of the guests who was very drunk joined us. He said watch this, did a back flip, and his head landed on the springs busting it open. He needed stitches. My cousin decided to open my grandpa’s rv door and fell out landing on a rock. She also needed stitches. Finally a friend had a tick on the back of her neck. I got it off and I guess it shocked her because she fainted and busted her head on her bath tub. Maybe I’m unlucky to others 😂
Dislocated ankle getting out of friends jeep. Walked around two months on in. Was on my knees putting stock away (they called me gimp because of it) an as I stood up I screamed as it popped back in. Also would randomly as kid get fingers caught in doors an have bloody nails. And get electrocuted when unplugging stuff fingers would slip over the plug an touch the tines in the outlet. So I have a bad habit to pull cords out instead of the plug bit. And I was hit by lightening as a kid too. Fml.
Another fave: Was sitting in a bench on an outside basketball court, was one of the kinds you can climb into and sit inside. Well, my BFF's little brother either had no idea I was in it, or just really hates me (i think the latter is more likely as my head was clearly poking out the top and the seat was off) and he tipped it upside down. I had temporary paralysis for two minutes after it landed on my back.
According to the body of the article we can reduce our chances of getting hurt if we reduce intake of saturated salt and practice mediation :’D (edit:spelling)
I broke a foot by slightly stepping off a curb wrong. I broke the other one when I stepped down a stair slightly wrong. I do not know how people are not breaking feet left and right if it is so easy!
Gave myself a black eye at work. I'm a secretary and had to ship a medium sized box. I put the box on the counter attached to my desk, about chest high. I have the tape gun thing and as I'm sealing a seam, I bend over a tiny bit because my back hurt. I've got my left hand on the box, my right hand using the tape gun and I'm pulling it so tightly. The tape breaks and my hand flies into my face. I scream out, "F*CK ME!" Boss comes running, I explain what happened, he runs around the office telling everyone and laughing like a mad man.
I have had stupid accidents that required medical intervention including falling off/out of some low healed sandals. I did not fall down, but broke off part of my heel and it broke and jammed into a joint in my foot. Like the majority of weird and clumsy things I have done, there were no witnesses. I am the person who is behind the glass partition flailing about, unheard and unseen by the people on the other side of the glass. The only really bad part is that I am getting to old to just pop up and pretend that I didn't just go flying through the air.
Broke my toe on a baby gate, standing against my wall. I kicked it & it went in between my pinky toe & the 2 before it. They couldn't be 100% sure but they pretty sure it cracked the bone in my foot too since it was so wonky & swollen afterwards. According to xrays, it healed great. My actual toe looks like a gnarly mess. Its still swollen (12ish yrs later) hangs to the right, like a noticeable amount. Wearing sandals & strappy shoes is a challenge now! Lol!
3 days ago, I put cups in the wall cabinet and stood on my right leg and stretched to reach it. After that I had a slight muscle soreness in the right calf. One day after that I went on the treadmill in the evening and walked slowly for only 5 minutes until a sharp pain shot up my calf. I could no longer walk with my right leg. Torn muscle fiber
I broke my pinky knuckle ("Boxer's fracture") by punching a solid wood door. The doctor said it was as if my knuckle was an ice cream cone with the top portion pushed off... The kicker? I had a punching bag outside, I was just too angry to go outside and use it... I still have pain in my pinky when it gets cold...
In preschool, there were no more paper towels in the bathroom. I had to go out and grab more from the long sink where everyone washed their hands. For some reason I decided to stare at the mirror while sprinting to the metal paper towel dispenser. I was a short kid, and hit my head just above my eye on my eyebrow on the sharp metal of the dispenser. Was very lucky I was half an inch shorter and it missed my eye. Long story short: had to get 5 stitches, freaked the teacher out, now have a bald spot on my eyebrow.
These make me feel better about all of my accidental injuries. When I was 4 I cracked my head open on a toilet, YES A TOILET, at a restaurant, because I wanted to change into a dress. My sister was helping me in the stall and I fell forward, hitting my forehead right on the bowl, blood everywhere. My friend accidentally broke my nose because we were playing ninjas on the trampoline in the DARK. Then as an adult I had an eye injury, chicken wire through my pupil, because I simply bent over on my porch to get my kitten and didn't see the chicken wire on the shelf above her. Explaining how I got stabbed in the eye with chicken wire to several different doctors at the ER was fun.
I cut my face opening one of those thick tubes of hamburger. I'm pretty sure they doctor that stitched me up thought I was covering for my boyfriend at the time. I'm like no, I was just stupid.
I have several... broke my right pinky by backing into a wall. Broke my right pinky toe by accidentally kicking a door jamb while fixing a toilet. Used to stretch my shoulders too far when I was younger so now the tendons are loose and let my arms pop out slightly at random. Played football (centre back and striker mostly) for about a decade and because of the damage to my knees I once had my patella slide out of place and bac kin while at work, just by kneeling.
I still have the scar across my eyebrow from "surfing" across the freshly hot-hosed floor in the back of Hardees. We'd routinely hot hose everything down to try and clean the pervasive GREASE that coated EVERYTHING in the place, which of course water on top of grease made for a very attractive sliding opportunity. I got a GREAT run - too good, in fact - it ended when I slammed into the sink, my legs went under the sink and my face smacked the floor where my glasses cut into my eyebrow area. Despite my best efforts to minimize attention being drawn to my stupidity, I could not get it to stop bleeding and got sent to ER for stitches.
Years ago when pull tab cans were just becoming a "thing" I sliced my hand open needing an ER visit with stitches. Did it again a few years later, same ER nurse. Of course the nurse and my wife had tons-O-fun at my expense.
last year, (oh geez might have been a year before that) i was on a spinny chair and i fell of and hit my head, i got concuseed really badly,
One time some boys kicked a soccer ball in my face by accident. I collapsed on one of my friends and nearly blacked out. I refused to go to the nurse though lol.
I one sliced my finger while pulling up grass from the ground.
Load More Replies... My best friend once sliced half of his hand clean off. While gardening. He dropped a flower pot and the surgery took 8 hours to put his hand back together.
• Dislocated my shoulder when I was stuck in my jacket and I panicked/got annoyed, took 6 months to heal. • I put myself in a wrist brace for a year when I closed a window (handle did not turn). • My brother playing darts, as I happened to walk by. Dart got stuck in my upper thigh muscle. And stayed there.
Okay, last one was not self inflicted, but as a kid I was horrified when I saw the dart sticking in my leg. (Still funny af, lol.)
Load More Replies... My mom was playing fetch with a dog, and threw the stick, but the dog thought that she was being aggressive, and bit her in the face. Then my mom walks into the kitchen where her mom was talking to a friend, and they scream in horror after seeing a little girl with blood dripping down her face.
let's see... i burned my right thigh with boiling water, poked almost all the way through my lip with a stick, sliced my hand open on a soup can, scratched my eye with a pair of scissors, and then there's the million times i've run into walls and other things and fallen off things and scratched myself... i have so many stupid injuries...
The word is *incurred* (on medical forms), as I know too well!. Dumbest injury? .... Sprained a wrist when I fell while teaching a visiting professor how to do the blasted macarena at a wedding reception. OW! Macarena...
I'm accident prone but somehow it's my husband who ends up with a the cool scars. Has one above his left eye from walking into a table when he was a kid, and one above his right from slamming into another guy playing dodgeball at a festival three years ago. (We're friends with the other guy now.)
scar #1: in kindergarten we were outside for gym on the soccer field. the field is on a big hill that is a pain in the ass to walk up. one day, a classmate of mine dared me to run down the hill. i tripped. have a scar on my knee. i remember that day very well. scar #2: when i was like 6 or something, i was jumping off the ottoman at our old house and after like the 4/5th jump is cracked my head on the damn tv stand. dont remember how many stitches. my dad still has the pic of my bloody forehead on the way to the ER. i still have the scar above my right eyebrow. scar #3: this isnt really that stupid, i just didnt think the scab would leave a mark. so i was at our gyms pool (not a school one. a fitness gym.) and was just swimming under water. i was pretty close to that rough floor, and i was gonna surface. so i move my hands from under me to push up, and scrape the back of my left hand on the floor. i never put a band aid on it cuz i never do that unless if its very serious. fast forward like a week or so, picked off the scab and all is good. fast forward to today, it left a scar.
You know those tools that you use for zesting types of fruits? Well, I once zested my own finger doing that. Thankfully it was only a scrape...
Was rushing down the stairs at night in the dark carrying DVD player, lost my footing and broke a bone in my foot. Kinda dumb.
Let's see, I broke my ankle when I was a kid by tripping over a toy tractor (Earlier that day I fell on the street and my arms were already covered by wounds), the doctor didn't believe it was broken since it was a tiny toy, took three days to get my parents the okay for me to go to the hospital for X-rays, and yes, it was broken. I broke three fingers playing basketball by trying to catch the ball. I broke my front teeth when I tripped as a kid. So half of my two front teeth are fake and one of the fake teeth broke when I leaned down to kiss my dog and the dog happily jumped up and collided with my teeth. I have a scar on my forehead from when I was playing on the monkeybars, wanted to lean up and forgot the monkeybars were still there? Yeah, stitches needed. The list goes on. The joys of being an ADD person
I used to live with a carpenter. The day he shot himself in the finger with a nail gun was the same day I fell off a chair while cleaning the house and broke my wrist. He’s calling me to tell me he’s going to the hospital and I’m on the other line telling him the same thing!
About 12 years ago I got up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. Quickly found out my foot was asleep when I tried to place my weight on it. I heard a snap and it buckled beneath me. I then fell into my nightstand, cracking a rib on it. Hobbled my way to the bathroom and felt around to check if there was a break. Fractures but nothing felt separated from where it should be. I was a single mom with no babysitting available ever and zero sick days at work because I had used them all for when my kids was sick. So I took some tylenol, wrapped everything in ace bandages, and tried to get back to sleep. Took kiddo to school and went to work the next day. My foot still makes a weird popping sound sometimes and my rib aches occasionally.
Two Christmases ago I was reaching for a box in the shed, on a ladder, wearing slippers. I fell off the ladder and landed on the power drill sitting on the work bench. I still have a dent in my left butt cheek.
In 2008, I had my first heart attack, so the doctors put me on blood thinners. I forgot that they warned me not to bump into things, because that could make me bruise easily. I was listening to some music while sitting, and starting pounding out the beat on my thighs. Yeah, you guessed it, when I next looked at my thighs, I found huge bruises and broken blood vessels on my thighs.
When my daughter was about 7, she went to the toilet during a PE lesson, so bare feet, and somehow managed to catch her big toe on the bottom of the door, ripped her toenail almost completely off. She wouldn't let us touch it to finish the job so we had to wait for it to work its way off over the next couple of weeks.
I was walking past hubby and he tried to pinch me in the butt. I did a shriek/squeal/sideways jump to get away from him and pulled a muscle in my back. I hurt for about 3 weeks.
When 17 or 18 years old I was playing with the induction coil from a furnace. I had set up a jacob's ladder like from old sci-fi movies. Noticed a loose screw holding one of the wires and decided to tighten it without turning it off. (The screwdriver had an insulated handle right?) So what I didn't notice is that the wires had started to droop. The thoched me on the backs of both hands. 10,000 volts at a 1/4 amp. My friend who was watching (I don't remember!) said I froze the somersaulted backwards and rolled across the room. I woke up with the chair I was sitting in smashed to splinters and my friend staring worriedly at me. When I asked what happened he started rolling on the floor laughing his butt off. He said it was the funniest thing he ever saw. Damage: two holes in my hand and permanent issues with short term memory. I was also diagnosed after with arrhythmia but don't know if it is related.
I dislocated both ankles jumping from rock to rock on the seashore. I missed the rock I was aiming for. Both feet twisted so bad I saw the bottom of them before I fell down. Had to drive bot my friends home before going to the hospital...in a standard! 35 years later both ankles will still sprain for no reason.
I've had so many... One time, I tried to step over some game materials my fourth grade students had left on the floor while reaching for something on a cabinet. Tripped and gave myself a huge black eye and mild concussion. Also, tripped walking out of an elevator. Black eye, cut that needed stitches and broken right elbow. Managed to break three bones in my left foot when I twisted it on the last step of a small staircase.
Some years ago, I came to grief in my own bathroom. There I was, sitting contemplating my navel (as it were), I completed my business, stood up too quickly, stumbled half a pace (still with trousers etc. round my ankles) and walloped my head off the wash basin, then stumbled back half a pace and burned my backside on the heated towel rail.
I got an injury on the internet. Read a dad joke. Really awful one. Laughed and cricked my neck. I was sore for a week...
i have actually had 3. 1. A fair few years ago i was in america i think (im 13 now so back then i was quite young) i was playing around and decided to jump through this metal sign. Got three cuts about the length of my whole arm on both my right arm and left leg. 2. about 2 years ago, i was almost late for school, so i started running. I tripped on wet leaves i think and buckled my left arm. It took a month to heal. 3. this is less of an injury, but on thursday, i was eating a gusto recipe called sofritas (you should try it it's reall nice), and it had rice in it. I sneezed while i was eating and kept my mouth closed for some reason. A lot of the rice in my mouth went up my nose and it burned. Sofritas are only mildly spicy but when they are up your nose for one reason or another, it burns like the fires of hell. I had to go to the bathroom, and tried blowing them out my nose, but they didn't budge. I was forced to snort them into my mouth, from my nose. About 25 rice grains came out
I found my community. I'm one of those people who walks into walls if they sit still long enough to be in my way. I've sprained an ankle tripping over a thought. Broke my heel and tore my achilles tendon dragging a caterer's cart loaded with flats of soda. Broke my rip coughing. Injured something - never been sure what - in my shoulder pulling an oversized Tshirt on overhead. Brand new in town, it was the Sunday of a long weekend, I knew no one and basically could not use my left arm. Thank g/d one of Yelp's top-rated chiro's happened to be in his office doing paperwork that day... BUT: My best... landed in the hospital after hurting myself breathing. (It was -45. I was running to school and my scarf kept slipping. I literally froze my bronchial tubes.)
I got burned on my eyelid by cutting into a hard boiled egg (not in its shell) after I’d firmed it up in the microwave for a few seconds. It literally exploded. Luckily my face caught the worst of the blast so the ceiling wasn’t too bad.
Entered the gym we play roller hockey in at the end of youth practice, lost my balance somehow -helmet, sticks and bag in hand- and landed flat on my back, lightky tearing a lot of things in my neck though luckily didn't hit my head on the floor 😅 I also dislocated my kneecap while putting on my shoes after high school PE. 😅
Pick a year lol! I've had broken, dislocated, and chipped bones. I've had sprains, stitches, bruises, cuts and bites that have led to infections (even cellulitis), burns, concussions, mini coma, teeth knocked out, and these are just some of the ones that were created by injuries and most of them were dumb. I've also had countless health issues, hospitalizations, I've had surgeries, procedures, scars, I've even had organs removed. Let's just say I don't know what it's like to have a "normal" body or feel good lol.
I have another story. My mom used to be very bad at cutting bagels. She had countless times cutting her hand, and once even went to the hospital for a cut. My dad had enough and bought her a bagel guillotine. Sadly it dis not work, but my mom stopped cutting herself.
1. I tripped over my husband’s feet. We both broke a toe! 2. Having warned all 3 octogenarians to watch the odd step I tripped over it. Broke my right ankle and sprained my left ankle. When we went places for the next few weeks had one in wheelchair, one using walker, one using cane and me on crutches.
So when I was a kid we had this trampoline and so we would jump up and down but do cool moves on the floor I sat on the floor got back (while jumping so it was pretty fast) and hurt my ligaments.
Load More Replies... I gave myself a black eye while joking around with my boyfriend at the time.
