Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
then open in external browser
and click "Open in External Browser" 
Psychologists think we tend to ignore red flags because we simply don’t want to be right. Falling in love can really mess up our minds, and turning a blind eye to behavior that’s obviously not right is one way. After all, finding someone you truly like is like winning the lottery these days, but no matter how much we’d want to fall in love, some glaring signs indicate we may be better off without them.
Examples of Red Flags (Funny But True)
When X user Lauren Chanel (formerly of Twitter) asked, “What’s a simple red flag that has never failed you? Something small like a person quoting 48 Laws of Power”—it struck a chord with many people.
The illuminating replies started pouring in, and they definitely shed light on what to be cautious about in our love interests. You might find some of the biggest red flags in a guy funny at first glance, but they actually reveal what kind of a person they are. From people who say they hate animals to “littering,” some things may look basic or funny at first, but when you really think about it…
Whether you find the biggest red flags in a girl funny or not, the following compilation may save you from taking the wrong step. By the way, this isn't just a collection of funny red flags for girls; it includes funny red flags for guys, too!
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Dre Mosley 4 years ago
Took a woman on a date years ago who did that. Had our waitress constantly attending our table, you could tell she got off on having a "servant." It was a major turnoff. Didn't go out with her again after that.
David Retsler 4 years ago
Absolutely! How they treat service people and people who can't do anything for them is a HUGE tell on how they are as a person.
Gary French 4 years ago
Taught my children from an early age that every job is important. Even the most wealthy CEO would have to clean their own office and toilet if it were not for the lowest paid person.
lemsip 4 years ago
No, they would get their secretary to clean their office for them.
Load More Replies...
Hugh Cookson 4 years ago
Or as a very sweet (and very posh aristocratic) old couple I had staying in a nice hotel I managed many years ago said ' never trust anyone who is rude to the servants' ...... They were always delightful. One of the things that always made me laugh was that if someone was being demanding or difficult in public, they would remark, rather loudly, that "the lower middle classes are in the room" ...
Salty Old Woman 4 years ago
Yes! People who do thus are usually one of 2 types: 1. only nice to people that they have to be nice to. 2. Only nice if being nice gains them something. These are awful people.
RELATED:
#2
Raine Soo 4 years ago
I have always wondered why people think that it is alright to say that they hate cats. The general response would be "Yeah, I get it. Cats are assholes." If you say you hate a dog, then the whole world is against you. "How dare you hate a dog? What sort of sub-human are you?" To cat-haters: what in the world did a cat ever do to you? So, yes, I'd run far, far away from someone who would harm a cat, or any animal, really.
Nubis Knight 4 years ago
Harming animals just to harm them is a sign of psychopathic behaviour, as far as I know.
Load More Replies...
Woets 4 years ago
children who badly hurt animals, is a well-known indicator of later criminal behavior
Marlowe Fitzpatrik 4 years ago
I think it's mostly an indicator that there's something wrong with the child. Sure, it could end up criminal but it's definitely not the norm for children to be cruel to animals. So if they are - better take a CLOSE look at the family-life
Load More Replies... David Retsler 4 years ago
Anyone who abuses any animals is a HUGE red flag. You can tell a lot about someone by how they treat animals and plants.
Leo Domitrix 4 years ago
Regardless of chromosome status, if someone would hurt an animal "for fun" or "beacuse it bugs me"? RUN FROM THAT SOMEONE.
UncleRussian 4 years ago
I can understand people that don't like cats, I can understand people that don't like dogs, I can even understand people that just don't like pets in general, that's fine it's your preference and it's fine. However, not liking something and hating something to the point that you're willing to harm and torture it are two completely different things
Gin Marie 4 years ago
There's something deeply, creepily Freudian about guys who hate cats. I'm not saying, "Oh, not a cat person." I'm saying, HATES cats. I had a boyfriend who taught me this lesson. I was bottle raising an orphan kitten and he'd "joke" about torturing her. I told him to stop. He did the whole, "What's the matter, it's a joke, don't you like jokes?" "Yeah, I'm dating you, aren't I?" Note: His "jokes" were sadistic. I set a boundary, and he refused to respect it. I made a joke about him. He didn't like it. I gave him one last chance, by re-asserting my boundary, and he refused to respect it and me, so I dumped him. And before the trolls start whining, it's like, All he had to do is not be a screaming A$$HOLE. All he had to do was go, shrug, 'sure, whatever.' But this was not the only boundary he didn't respect, either. The kitty was with me 10 years, before she made my mom fall in love with her and Mom refused to give her back.
Lucas 4 years ago
I think i would have been even quicker to kick this awful person to the kerb.
Load More Replies...
spencer 4 years ago
im a cat person and i still like dogs, but a lot of dog people are like "i hate cats theyre the devils animal" etc etc but if i said something like that about dogs they would get upset
Carrie Laughs 4 years ago
To be fair I have come across the opposite. Anyone who is wildly pro of one and wildly anti of the other comes across as odd to me.
Load More Replies...
Laura Gillette 4 years ago
Even if they wouldn't happily harm one. They talk about how much they hate them and how awful they are. They tend to be selfish, self-centered people who are incapable of interacting with an animal that hasn't been bred to worship them.
MelFunction 4 years ago
Any animal really. Someone who hates any type of animal is someone I would rather avoid.
C.S. E. 4 years ago
When I mention to people that i"m super allergic to cats (though I desperately want one), it's always 'Yeah, cat allergies are the worst!' Tell them I'm also super allergic to dogs, they treat me like I've just gravely insulted 3 generations of their family. I'm not even talking about the people who then proceed to explain my allergy to me or state their dog is 'hypoallergenic.' That sound you hear is the grinding of my molars against each other.
Ren Karlej 4 years ago
Got to be honest, and no disrespect, but what does 'super allergic' mean in this context? Genuine query and not a criticism. My sister is allergic and gets a bad reaction - blocked nose, streaming itchy sore eyes but not a dangerous reaction. She won't go into anaphylaxis because of her allergy to dogs and medication helps her - as does washing my dogs before she visits me as it removes a great deal of dander. Also, completely agree that no dog is genuinely hypoallergenic. Some breeds have coats that shed less and there is less dander in the air so the allergy can be minimised. It's why labradoodles exist. So blind people with dog allergies could have guide dogs. It removed it for some and made it manageable for others. Sorry, hope you don't mind my wanting to understand how it is for you. The more people know the better they can understand and hopefully improve things for those who have legitimate problems.
Load More Replies...
#3
Katie Lutesinger 4 years ago
The louder the protestations of how nice they are, the bigger the douchebag they actually are.
Leo Domitrix 4 years ago
This one means "incel" to me now, but before that term existed, we used one that is a synonym for the orifice from which fecal matter is extruded.
StrawberryParfait 4 years ago
The lonely cry of the bitter incel who actually hates women and thinks they are merely sex dispensers.
Lorraine R 3 years ago
I think most women aren't looking for a nice guy. Niceness isn't worth much. I was always looking for a good man -- a mature, humane, kind, honest person who cared more about the good of others than his own. Men like that are out there but they tend to get snapped up quickly.
Load More Replies...
Kris “ADHD_Carrier” Dudoich 4 years ago
It's not that we don't like good guys, we just don't like YOU
Rannveig Ess 4 years ago
In that line of Blah Blah I've also heard "I'm a giver, not a taker,,," and "I just do too much for people and they just Eff me over..." It's like they try to groom you to take their BS ahead of time.
Animal lover❤ 4 years ago
If you complain about women not liking you because you are too nice, you might not be as nice as you think
Have you ever been in love? Your best friend, your family friend, your parent? If so, you’d know very well how love changes people. Thankfully, the transformation is usually for the better, but sometimes, we fall head over heels so deeply that we lose the ability to detect doubts and other negative reactions we have with our love interests.
Elite Daily interviewed some experts. Here’s what they had to say about blind love and its impact on the people in the relationship.
In fact, very few of us are immune to this phenomenon, says nationally recognized psychotherapist Dr. LeslieBeth Wish, who considers blind love to be something that doesn’t have to do with appearances. It usually hits during the honeymoon phase, when we still haven’t had enough time to experience the negative side of our loved ones.
#4
Kateryna 4 years ago
"Alpha males" in wolf pack observations were later discovered to be parents, so their kids followed them.
Ozacoter 4 years ago
Exactly. The same researcher who developed the alpha theories disproved them and apologised for it.
Load More Replies... Kris “ADHD_Carrier” Dudoich 4 years ago
The phrase "alpha male" (used in this context) makes me want to throw up. Just how insecure are you in your own masculinity to feel the need to make this statement?
GoodCatto 4 years ago
Wtf. A wolf pack is basically just a big family, and the main goal of a pack is to RAISE KIDS. If they were just interested in dominance and that crap, they would fall apart. Plus, wolves in the wild don't really divide themselves into packs. That's a common misconception.
Ravenwolf 4 years ago
Okay I'm sorry I'm a wolf lover and couldn't take this comment https://wolfhaven.org/conservation/wolves/pack-structure/#:~:text=Like%20many%20human%20beings%2C%20wolves,to%20bring%20down%20larger%20prey.
Load More Replies...
NMN 4 years ago
In sexual selection, alpha, beta and gama males represent different reproductive strategies. Not all exist in all species and in a very simplistic not exactly correct way of putting it would be: alpha have more resources and success but hoe around and might not be reliable; beta have less resources but is committed to their offspring/mates; gama try to pass incognito or mimic females to get past the alpha and get some for himself.
Gary French 4 years ago
If you have to refer to yourself as the "Alpha" then you are definitely not.
Zoe Hoesley 4 years ago
My dad does that sh!t all the time and I’m like tf? Are we going back to cave men and wolves because you Jelly?
#5
Troux 4 years ago
There's some sense to this statement. You can have respect for your fellow human and also respect the roles that different people have. If you make a big spill in a mall or airport, will you get a mop or a janitor? Just apologize and show gratitude.
NMN 4 years ago
I guess that's not the point or the situation described. It is more like people that leave a mess on the food court table and say "it's not my job, let the cleaners deal with that"
Load More Replies...
Vic 4 years ago
There is a beautiful statement (in a Harry Potter book, I think): don't judge a person by how they treat their superiors, judge them by how they treat their subordinates.
Nubis Knight 4 years ago
My students mess up the classroom, do I tell them to clean it. "But thst's the job of the cleaning Service!" No, the job of the cleaning Service is to clean the random things, not your mess! Additionally I worked in a cleaning Service myself to pay for my study at university. So no chance arguing with me.
N G 4 years ago
Downvotes ahoy but I think there's a caveat to this: the tone used and the situation it occurred in. Example, while shopping as a custom, another customer accidentally knocked several glass bottles off a shelf where they smashed. A member of staff appeared in seconds and told me and the clumsy lady "let the cleaner do his job, please". The cleaner had all the right equipment to deal with a spill, and the store would have been liable had I or the other customer tried to help and cut ourselves on the broken glass. Nothing to do with the cleaner knowing his place and everything to do with knowing who was the right person to deal with the situation.
Imitating 4 years ago
Not the same thing that this post is going for. One easy example is at Starbucks. If you accidentally drop your drink all over the floor, yes the employee will rush over with the right equipment to properly clean up the mess and this is expected of their job role. It is not expected of their job role for patrons to intentionally leave their garbage on the tables and even the floor. That is why there is customer accessible trash cans.
Load More Replies... Shinomi Chan 4 years ago
Depends on the situation, if you accidentally make a mess, and clearly can't clean it up yourself. Then yes. Sure. BUT. If you KNOWINGLY are just being a selfish asshole, throwing stuff, liquids around the place, cause "well it's their jooob..." and all in all act disgusting, then no.
Serenity Kinney 4 years ago
* inahale exhale inhale exhale inhale....AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA*
Load More Replies... Demon Child 4 years ago
There is nothing wrong with apologizing and helping clean up, making someone’s job easier will always put a smiley on their face. They won’t go out of a job, because there will never be a time where everyone cleans up their messes. Just a good deed, everyone is happy
Canadian in Cornwall 4 years ago
a friend of mine would never put her McDonald's rubbish in the bin because she said "that's someone's job, so I shouldn't do it for them". She wasn't being nasty, simply saying that is someone's job, so don't take it away from them. (But I always but my rubbish in the bin, cause I'm a good girl !! and that's how my mom raised me !)
Imitating 4 years ago
If it was intended to be their job, there would be no customer accessible trash cans. I appreciate how your mom raised you.
Load More Replies...
Artoonist Corine 4 years ago
I think this is referring to making a huge mess and being a jerk about it then saying "let the janitor clean that up, it's their job".
#6
JessG 4 years ago
Exactly! If they think their life is always full of drama, then the negativity is usually on them
Load More Replies...
Katie Lutesinger 4 years ago
I knew a guy who was like that. Couldn't hold down a job, kept losing friends, couldn't maintain a relationship with his parents, and not once did he EVER stop to wonder whether his own bad behaviour had anything to do with it. He was arrogant, demanding, entitled, and incapable of ever taking advice (he just wanted you to listen to him complain; he had no interest in any solutions you might have to offer). Predictably, he managed to ruin his friendship with me as well in the end by calling me a horrible person because I wouldn't sleep with him. Douche.
Roxy Eastland 4 years ago
Oh one I've learnt to pay attention to is if people start telling you about the other people they've had to cut contact with because they were so awful yet the stories don't sound awful. If this is a repeated pattern then you'll be for the chop at some point. They will be angry and hateful towards you, for some imagined slight. If you sort of like their company anyway just enjoy the ride and don't feel too bad when it's your turn to be the evil one.
Jumilicious 4 years ago
This is exactly what happened with my ex bff. Turns out, it wasn't forever. She was full of drama, no matter what good things happened in her live. Always miserable, always complaining, though never interested in advice. Unwilling or unable to change, she just cut people off once they were no longer of use to her. And it was always the other persons fault. I should have seen it coming. She only ever felt good, if she could trump you (e.g. on your salary or job in general) or if she couldn't do that, she tried to spoil the good things in other people's lives. Our friendship ended once I got pregnant, since she was single at that time and - you guessed it - unhappy. So she stopped talking to me and just cut me off since she couldn't trump that and couldn't stand feeling jealous. Real shitty person.
Load More Replies...
Kris “ADHD_Carrier” Dudoich 4 years ago
Too close to home, my ex-husband was like this. Nothing was his fault, everyone else was stupid and he just couldn't "deal" with that. UGH.
According to relationship expert Susan Winter, who also spoke to Elite Daily, the honeymoon phase brings all the best parts of our significant others to the spotlight. “We haven’t experienced the many times they’ll disappoint, let us down, and hurt us. These are the things that occur later in a relationship. Without knowing the totality of our partner, we are forced to see them in a state of love blindness.”
#7
Keri O'Donnell 4 years ago
omg - the most violent person I know is a huge litter bug - flings stuff all over the place, disgusting...also a serial domestic abuser and physically violent
NMN 4 years ago
No Ian. If it is in your own house that YOU will have to take care of later, is ok. If it is in a public setting, streat, work, mall or even in your home if you expect that SOMEONE ELSE will do it for you, then it's NOT OK. If there's no trash can you pick it up and hild until you find a frigging trash can you lazy b4stard
Load More Replies...
David Retsler 4 years ago
Litterers demonstrate they couldn't care less about anyone else. It's a matching set with being violent.
Dynein 4 years ago
I always have the urge to seek out those people's homes and dump random rubbish all over their place.
Load More Replies...
embarrassed american 4 years ago
"You're trash if you litter"... I will be accepting orders for bumper stickers lol
KellyKix 4 years ago
Love your username.. Can definitely relate (2016-2021)
Load More Replies...
Aroace tiger 4 years ago
I always put rubbish in my coat pocket idk why some people don't. Its not hard!
Nikki Sevven 4 years ago
We have to pick up a garbage bag's worth of trash every month from the frontage of our yard. Most of it is liquor nip bottles, but there are also fast food bags filled with detritus, bottles containing chewing tobacco spit, and vaping products. How do you see a forested yard with a beautiful brook running through it and decide it's ok to trash it?
Tracy Wallick 4 years ago
Same here! It only slowed down after I put up No Littering and Security Cameras In Use signs... I invested in a trash-grabber after finding not one, not two, but FIVE used condoms in the gutter beside my house (all on separate occasions). If it's possible to die of rage, that nearly did me in.
Load More Replies... 
deathrose 4 years ago
Question: does me pouring out my drink (tea, coffee or water is all I drink) in the grass count as littering? I don't like throwing away liquid in trash cans.
Liz the Wanderer 4 years ago
It seems to me this is about lack of respect for others. They think the world is theirs, and other people and animals don't matter. They trash the environment along with friends and relationships.
#8
Michael Se 4 years ago
Truth! Make a joke about a white man and see how much they "can't take a joke".
Load More Replies... Ozacoter 4 years ago
Offensive humor can be ok but only in very restrictive environments. My best friend can tell me "woman go to the kitchen" because we both know that he is a huge feminist and its a joke. But that same joke wouldnt be funny in a different context where people dont know that he is a feminist. I often call him sodomite for example but I would only do it with him because he knows that I love him like a brother. I would never joke like that with another person in case that they think that I am homophobe, or worse in case that they are the homophobe one.
Viviane 4 years ago
Ozacoter, my husband and I insult each other for fun. If anyone else said those things, that might be actually insulting. In-jokes can be fun and a bond between people, but they don't always travel well.
Load More Replies...
I want cake 4 years ago
Congratulations on the 'used to' :) personal growth and development is hard!
Load More Replies...
Stannous Flouride 4 years ago
As a male of Northern European descent I have frequently heard sexist and racist jokes and asides because they assume that I share their bigotry. I've mastered the look my mother used to respond with- an almost expressionless stare that silently says, "I can't believe you're dumb enough to think I that I would EVER find that in the least amusing."
Leo Domitrix 4 years ago
it's never a joke and only amuses the perpetrator ------------ and I say "perpetrator" b/c the "joke" sometimes qualifies as "assault and battery"
C.S. E. 4 years ago
The problem is that when someone says that, it's usually because they said something that isn't actually funny. Like, upon seeing a piece of art or film who's imagery or story you aren't blown away by, you are summarily told by the overly pretentious that you 'just don't get it.' Well, in that case, perhaps the actual problem is in the execution.
Marlowe Fitzpatrik 4 years ago
Hmmm... I agree but also disagree. Because art is very subjective, and saying "you don't get it" might not mean that you are dumb but that they want to explain to you what was done and why. Sometimes, you still won't like it, which is fine. But sometimes, perceptions can change if you understand a bit more of what the art awakes in their minds. Saying "it's in the execution" sounds very dismissive, to be honest. (and I'm not talking about a piece of butter on a wall here, but actual art or music or film).
Load More Replies...
#9
MiniMaus 4 years ago
Took my date to a great restaurant where one of my best friends was our waiter. I introduced them to each other. On the ride home my date said to me " I cannot believe you would introduce me to a waiter... and what is it with you wearing a trench coat to a luxe restaurant.. don't you have anything nicer?" LAST DATE.
Cat 4 years ago
I had a friend who used to work in restaurants when we were students. Then she started working and making an ok living (not even over the top, just normal salary) and suddenly started being awful to service staff. After she yelled at the waitress at a sushi restaurant for mixing up the order and bringing us the slightly more expensive wine (literally 1€ more per glass!) I realised she was a lost case. We're not friends anymore. That time at the restaurant I publicly apologized to the waitress, gave a good tip and told my friend she was a bitch.
Weezie Ray 4 years ago
Dang, usually when people have waited tables in the past, they are now extremely polite to servers, and tip well. The woman you knew must be a real piece of work to go in the opposite direction. Well done on booting her from your life.
Load More Replies... Canadian in Cornwall 4 years ago
I make it a point to make eye contact with people doing cleaning jobs in places like airports or train stations. Give them a smile. Costs nothing and it could make someone's day, they are the unseen in may cases.
Stannous Flouride 4 years ago
I'd want to see the books of those charities gone over with a fine tooth comb. As the tRumps have shown us recently there's often malfeasance of some sort going on.
MiraiJack 4 years ago (edited)
Have you ever met a three Nobel Prizes winner to say that for sure?
Ruth Watry 2 years ago
Or have a million dollars in the bank, get great service and tip 15% (red flag for me)
Eric Lafleur 4 years ago (edited)
Always thank those who are working their a** for you. No matter if it's a clerk, restaurant staff or retail worker. The vast majority of them are earning way less than you and still for the most part, do their best to make you a happy customer. Oh! And tip the waitress!
Alethia Nyx 4 years ago
The sad thing is just how high a percentage of people are rude to waiters and retail staff.
After the honeymoon phase ends, many lovebirds start to see and experience the not-so-pretty side of their relationship. This is why recognizing your initial doubts at the beginning of a relationship is crucial. Cherlyn Chong, a dating and breakup recovery coach, suggests seeking a person who can meet one’s needs “regardless of surface or social standing.”
“They need to not completely judge people right off the bat, but they should also prioritize those compatibility traits.” Thus, often, that very first hint of a negative reaction you have may be the most telling one. Basically, don’t ignore the red flags!
#10
Periwinkle 4 years ago
That's part of someone's identity, It's important you get it right to respect them if they are sensitive or feel more comfortable with you doing so.
Troux 4 years ago
Also please ask before you decide to abbreviate. Some people still prefer Jacqueline, Christopher, Catherine or Joseph.
Viviane 4 years ago
First meeting with a new employee, I straight up asked, "Do you prefer to be called Sam or Samantha?" It helped me as well, so I knew exactly what to use, as did others in the room.
Load More Replies...
Daria B 4 years ago
Unless they really have problems pronouncing it because, for example, their mother tongue is very different than yours, even with the best of efforts. Luckily my name is easy for Koreans, but if I were, for example, Zvjezdana.....
earringnut 4 years ago
The point is to try. You might fail, but trying is a sign of respect.
Load More Replies...
Kisses4Katie 4 years ago (edited)
Data from TNG said it best. A doctor was pronouncing it wrong and he corrected her. "Day-ta, Dah-ta, what's the difference," she says. He said "it's my name, and there is a difference" Been a while since I've seen it but he handled everything so well.
WilvanderHeijden 4 years ago
Even worse: People who knowingly and willingly keep calling people by a certain name although the person has repeatedly asked them not to do so. Some people want to change their name for various reasons and you need to respect their choice. Don't care how long you know them, if they tell you that their new name is Roberta instead of Adam, you call them Roberta.
cat in a tank 4 years ago
my strategy is calling them the wrong name when they refuse to use mine. they don't like it loll
Load More Replies...
Iggy 4 years ago
My real name causes problems for a lot of people. All that matters is that people try. It's people who say "Oh, well I'm just going to call you XXXXX" that annoy me. My parents already named me, you don't get to. Ask if there is a nickname you could use if you can't pronounce a name.
Gyro Pilot 4 years ago
Dunno about this. Nicknames become part.of the basis for group cohesion. You may formally be XXX but once renamed by your mates or colleagues you've been taken in and become one of the trusted circle.
Load More Replies...
Ozacoter 4 years ago
Or when they correct you. My surname starts with V and in spanish the V is pronounced as a B. I had it a lot in other countries that people corrected me like "I am X with V" and they are like "You mean Y (pronounced with a V). How are you so arrogant to correct somebody about how to say their own name?
Mohsie Supposie 4 years ago
Some names can really be difficult to pronounce, especially foreign ones, but at least try. Marks for effort.
Tree P 2 years ago
Yes. I would try, but ask them to forgive me if I pronounced it wrong.
Load More Replies...
Hehehehehehehehe (ve/ver) 4 years ago
Also people refusing to stop using deadnames. Thats not their name get over yourself
Mewton’s Third Paw 4 years ago
This happens a lot with Kamala. People do it on purpose. People often purposefully mispronounce foreign names as a way of rejecting the culture / race of the person.
Lorraine R 3 years ago
See Randy Rainbow's take on that on YouTube -- "Kamala" sung to the tune of "Camelot".
Load More Replies... #11
Kiss Army 4 years ago
I agree. I worked at a fast food restaurant in my younger days and this one guy would come in and ask me if I was 18 yet - answer was always NO (even though I worked there until I was 20)! I never told him the age of consent is actually 16 in the state we live in because I didn't want him to harass other girls. I did; however, let him know my dad was a cop so he started leaving me alone after he showed up in uniform while the guy was eating there.
Load More Replies...
Oskar vanZandt 4 years ago (edited)
Or men who "date" teenaged girls claiming they were convinced "...she was 21"... I call b*llsh*t on that.
Debrina Blackmoon 4 years ago (edited)
Had an 18 yr old pursue me when I was 14 and my "parents" agreed I should marry him(yes, the freak sort of proposed). He chased me for over 7 years then told everyone he was actually gay...even had a boyfriend.
Load More Replies...
ZenChickChristine 4 years ago
I would say this should go both ways (minors are minors, period) but I’ve never known any women to do something like this. The ONLY time this is acceptable is when that adult is counting down to wish a genuine happy birthday to a young person in their family or a friend’s family.
#12
Weezie Ray 4 years ago
Eh, you're probably fine. This is a very normal part of human nature. It's only really a problem if it's all you ever talk about, or if you're especially nasty with it. Also, usually you wait until you know someone pretty well before the two of start judging and talking sh*t on everyone you know. heh
Load More Replies... ripperthejack 4 years ago
"No one will ever do or say anything, that isn’t a direct reflection of how they feel about themselves in a moment" -Corey Wayne
Tapio Magnussen 4 years ago
When someone approaches that way, you MUST cut that out and mention you're not interested. If you don't do that, you may be part of that problem. ANd if you think this is none of your business, just be aware some grown ups still need to learn how to behave.
Mohsie Supposie 4 years ago
You can be pretty much guaranteed that they will talk bad about you to others.
Son of Philosoraptor 4 years ago
This has been the human condition for thousands of years. Buddha specifically warned about it. We all want to climb up the ladder on someone else's back. Primate pack hierarchy genetics.
David Retsler 4 years ago
What people say about others behind their backs is a good indicator of their character.
deanna woods 4 years ago
One of my mom's friends only calls her to talk about other people and if she needs something.
#13
David Retsler 4 years ago
A basic apology demonstrates remorse for something you did or didn't do. You start by saying "I'm sorry." Then you identify what it was that you did or didn't do to offend, you show you understand it hurt or offended the other person and how it hurt or offended them, and you tell them what you will do to avoid repeating it in the future. For example: "Hey, John- I'm sorry I told Mike you were getting divorced. You told me that in confidence and I know I betrayed your trust by sharing it with him. I value your trust, John, and promise you that if you ever confide in me again, my lips will be sealed." Notice I didn't offer an excuse like "I did it just that one time" or " I didn't know it wasn't public info." OWN IT when you apologize. Explaining yourself can come later if THEY request it. Otherwise, you're just throwing out excuses and not owning it.
Jade Lynn - Panda's Brat 4 years ago
I am going to try to remember this comment for next time I apologize to someone. I can never get my thoughts out clearly when I am speaking. The pattern you laid out is great and includes everything an apology should have.
Load More Replies...
Pamela Blue 4 years ago
My ex didn't apologize - ever - for anything. I lived with it for 41 years until he walked off with someone else.
Load More Replies...
Laura Silverstein 3 years ago
Whenever there’s a “but”, it really invalidates the entire apology, and usually indicates the initial “sorry for…(whatever)….” is a superficial way to preface ur real point, something defensive or what u wouldn’t otherwise be direct about from the start.
Bonnie Edwards 4 years ago
I had to explain to my husband and nieces this. Anything said before the "but" is automatically null and void. Eg: I love you, but you drive me crazy.
Idaho Eric 4 years ago
Basically what I just wrote. "I love you but you really need to..."
Load More Replies...
Elaine Dodge 4 years ago
If the word 'but' appears in an apology, it's not an apology. It's that person blaming you, making you the cause of their mistake. "I'm so sorry I hit you but you make me so mad."
Reginald Joseph 4 years ago
A friend once said to me, "I'm sorry you were hurt, but I didn't do anything wrong." Then you're not sorry--and you feel like you can do it again. Immediate end of friendship.
#14
Remi Flynne 4 years ago (edited)
Ex friend kept doing this to me. I would start a conversation that she would wave away with with the comment 'oh, you and your x idea' as though it was weird when it was usually just something I'd seen in the news and wanted to share thinking she'd be interested. She'd roll her eyes and pull faces if she didn't understand or agree. She would demean compliments I got from people to make them appear worthless. I realised her low self esteem got a boost from belittling me. People who only feel better when they try to diminish you are not genuine friends. Real friends would want to listen and support you. Even if you miss the fun times (I do) it's truly not worth the other times when you go home upset and thinking 'what on earth was that for?'.
Iggy 4 years ago
She sounds like one giant walking toxin. Good riddance to her!
Load More Replies...
Stephanie Cunningham 4 years ago
My ex-husband used to do this to me. "Are you really wearing that? You know you aren't 14." (I do not dress inappropriately for my age.) "Why are you cutting your hair so short? You look like a boy." "Don't you think that dress is a little too short?" "Why have you started wearing so much makeup?" "Why do you care so much about clothes? It's not like you're meeting the queen." He never understood why these comments hurt me, even though he told me many times how hurtful it was for him when his mother criticized his appearance when he was a teenager. It's not the main reason he's now an ex, but it's a big one.
Sarcastic Panda 4 years ago
if they point out the bad things about you, and none of the good, then something needs to change. Stat.
D. Pitbull 4 years ago
Even worse? They say it like a "It's only a joke bro!!! Ha ha hahaha... that's my kind of humour!!!" So suddenly that makes it all "okay"
Jennifer Brown 4 years ago
or backhanded compliments....its so cute they way you style your hair, like you don't really care what it looks like
Manon Eden 4 years ago
Been there.. fortunately not any longer, now I am trying to empower my kids to speak up without being defensive
Shinomi Chan 4 years ago
Yep. That is utterly disgusting, and even worse when it happens to someone in a relationship *also it's almost always followed with physical violence and cutting ties with everyone*
Marlowe Fitzpatrik 4 years ago
My mom here... (But not in a truly toxic extend and I know she doesn't mean it in any way to be hurtful. But yeah... not nice)
Load More Replies...
Chris Challis 4 years ago
then again no one can hurt us unless we give them permission... anyone who picks at you about things, they need to be gone, whatever.
#15
Remi Flynne 4 years ago
People who won't apologise. Accept it if you have stuffed up. There is no weakness in recognising that and saying sorry to those you have hurt. It is weak to try and hide it, cowardly to try and pretend you did nothing wrong.
Earl Grey 4 years ago (edited)
Those people see apologies as a sign of weakness, when in fact it is the exact opposite. They themselves are weak and cowardly, believing that an apology will somehow diminish their stature. Mouthing “I’m sorry” is hollow and meaningless. A proper apology has several elements: you recognize and admit that a genuine transgression occurred (the most difficult first step); you take full, personal responsibility for it, and not try to place even partial blame elsewhere; you express remorse; you ask the injured party what you can do to repair the injury and then follow through; and finally, you ask for their forgiveness once you have taken steps to make it better. This can be done either face-to-face or in writing.
Load More Replies...
Sarcastic Panda 4 years ago
nobody likes making mistakes. just accept them or apologise, and move on.
Tobias the Tiger 4 years ago
My stepmother, basically. She always treats her family like s**t for no good reason, and never takes any responsibility for things she did because she "was stressed" or "had a bad childhood". Whenever someone calls her out on her bullshit, they're "making excuses", ironically. I'm done giving second chances to her.
WhatEvenIsLife 4 years ago
Had an ex who refused to apologize after any argument because "apologizing means admitting you were wrong." Shockingly, he was a verbally abusive asshole.
Leodavinci 4 years ago
Don't have a problem, but let's be real. Too many people get their feelings hurt over innocuous things that have nothing to do with them. No one can read another's mind.
Flora Endebez 4 years ago
Then there are people like me, who spend the next hour obsessing that they've hurt someone's feelings and can't get over it.
#16
Mohsie Supposie 4 years ago
In UK, in most supermarkets, you have to put a £1 coin to get a trolley. If you want your coin back, you must return the trolley. (and yes, we call it a trolley!)
Susan Trevaskis-Owen 4 years ago
"All people who don't return shopping carts are bad" or possibly disabled & couldn't get a spot close to the store. Or have a small child that they can't leave unattended in the car.
Christy Smith 4 years ago
I love their little title about the 2nd impeachment, wish I had thought of it.
Monica Michelle 4 years ago
No. Some of us are disabled. Some have small children. If it takes you 60 seconds and no additional pain or inconvenience congratulations but take a beat Before you know everyone's life
Raine Soo 4 years ago
I've been to Walmarts where the carts run amok in the parking lot, and have hit stationed vehicles. I don't understand the laziness and cavalier attitude of some customers. But then, what did I expect?
Saint Thomas 4 years ago
Same thing with people that don't put the chair back under the table at the office, restaurant, ... when they leave.
Rashid Patch 4 years ago
I'm 75, I have severe osteoarthritis and mobility impairment. I'm lucky to be able to walk in and out of a store at all. I don't return shopping carts because walking even a few steps is extremely painful, and I'm damn tired of people saying I'm a bad person because I don't return a cart.
Boopie Dew 4 years ago
Disagree. I usually return a shopping cart but there have been times when I can't. I have a chronic illness by the time I get in &out of a groc store, put things in the car, my body won't go anymore. I feel badly i can't walk it back, but I try to make sure its not in the way of any vehicle. I'm not a bad person, by a long shot.
Andy Acceber 4 years ago
For people with disabilities, it may help to walk with the support of a cart. After walking all through a grocery store, returning the cart and then walking back to the car without that support can be really difficult. Is it really that hard for able-bodied people to help with that?
Stefanie Schreyer 4 years ago
Here in Ecuador most big supermarkets have avoided that problem by hiring people (usually young students) to help shoppers pack their groceries, take the shopping carts to the cars, stash the groceries in the trunk and return the carts. They always get tipped. It creates jobs, is a great help for some people (especially the elderly) and we have zero carts on the loose :) I aggree that those who physically can should return them...but saying that "all people who don't do so are bad" is assuming everyone always can...and there is no such thing as "always"...Just my humble opinion.
#17
Ozacoter 4 years ago
Like when you dont drink alcohol and people keeps pushing you to have one.
David Retsler 4 years ago
Keep in mind there are some cultures where it is polite to turn down an offer at least once before accepting.
Rami Alsheikh 4 years ago
in my folk's culture and habits, it is mean and rude not to do so :)
deathrose 4 years ago
I do this sometimes, I'm a chef and a couple of my friends have very limited palettes. I'm not asking them to eat the whole thing, just to try a bite. I want to expand their pallettes and make them less afraid of food. Plus it makes it easier for me to cook for them if I can understand what flavors they like. One of my friends recently discovered he likes roasted brussel sprouts and pumpkin.
deathrose 4 years ago
If they don't like it then that's fine, it's more information for me to work with.
Load More Replies...
Stephanie Cunningham 4 years ago
This for sure. I matched with a guy on a dating app and we hit it off, until he asked me to meet him for a walk. When I told him I wasn't comfortable meeting in person during a pandemic (he's a teacher and in contact with a lot of people), he got mad and said he we could still talk if I wanted, but he would be actively looking for other people who were "willing to get out and do things." Thanks, dude. You just saved me a bunch of trouble by revealing who who were before we even met.
Salty Old Woman 4 years ago
I'm from the U.S., and in lots of places, people will refuse the first offer as a matter of politeness. So I grew up always following up with "Are you sure?", in order to make sure they weren't just being polite. As long as people don't snap at me for that, it's good. To be clear, this applies to offers such as "would you like to take some dinner home", or "do you need a ride". And not things like "are you sure you don't want a drink/joint, etc". Don't know if that's a distinction in most people's minds or not.
backatya 4 years ago
why are you salty? Do you live in an area where there's salt mines or just sweat a lot? lol
Load More Replies...
Jon S. 4 years ago
Caveat with this. In some cultures (Iranian and middle class English. that I know of) it is polite to refuse the first offer so not as to seem greedy/expectant/demanding. So people are in the habit of asking multiple times.
Jane Alexander 4 years ago
Yes, my Russian great-uncle too would refuse many times. -but here in the US there's just one offer.
Load More Replies... 
Billy Bob the 4th 4 years ago
Now I feel like I'm an asshole for offering my wife spoons of ice cream from my bowl :( She says no, but in my mind, I know she'd love it so I always try again in a few minutes. I'm sorry Annie, I'll stop.
Freyja Cooper 4 years ago
Billy, I don't think your wife minds you offering ice cream. This is more about being overly pushy when they clearly don't want it
Load More Replies...
athornedrose 4 years ago
This is huge! If they can't handle no in a small matter, they will not respect it in a larger one.
Marlowe Fitzpatrik 4 years ago
So, if I asked you to taste my cooking and you said "no, I'm good" and I asked you to try just a bit... that's disrespect? Or maybe just me wanting to get your opinion on my cooking. (If you say "No I'm good" AFTER tasting, I swear I'll get the hint 😁)
Load More Replies...
#18
WilvanderHeijden 4 years ago
And you never mastered the art of zen driving. "Every driver is either an a-hole, idiot or psychopath and that's why I'm never surprised nor shaken nor shocked and in complete unison with the sound of my engine repeating Zen a millions times a day."
Load More Replies...
Shinomi Chan 4 years ago
Yes especially if it's ALL. THE. TIME. Like maybe one bad day is fine, COULD HAPPEN. But ALL THE TIME? Oh hon, look in the mirror
#19
Ian Koch 4 years ago
if they forget every now and again, that's fine though, nobody's perfect
Load More Replies...
David Retsler 4 years ago
I hold the door open for women out of habit. I had one woman yell at me because "I can open my own door!" I was just trying to be polite. SO, I closed the door and held it shut so she couldn't open it. Not my proudest moment but I still laugh at the look on her face.
Dynein 4 years ago
I wouldn't yell at you, but please, either get in the habit of doing it for everyone (I'm sure many men would actually appreciate that!) or drop it altogether. It does feel patronizing; the effort it saves me is TINY, it adds effort because I'll try to go through the door faster to not hold you up, it makes me feel a bit uneasy because you are pretty much forcing me to impede on your time when I didn't want to, and it reminds me the sexist prejudices of women such as them being delicate things that needs a man to get by.
Load More Replies... WilvanderHeijden 4 years ago
Or getting all worked up about the fact that someone's holding the door for you and react like they just did something inexcusably demeaning and offensive to you.
Isabelle Balagué 4 years ago
and this include every one. I hold door for men and don't expect only them to do it for me. I do it for younger people, even dogs, simple ordinary courtesy.
Periwinkle 4 years ago
God if you did that here you'd be glared down with the fury of a thousand suns. Everyone just does it, natural, I think
Eric George 4 years ago
This has changed some since covid. I have seen people balk when I try to hold the door for them because they would be getting "too close" to me. I still try to offer, but lately more people have backed off. Ooooor... maybe I should change my deodorant.
Kristin Ingersoll 4 years ago
There have actually been some sweet moments for me, where I've held it for a second, made eye contact and laughed, and they've waved me forward. We all get it :)
Load More Replies...
Johanna Karlen 4 years ago
I can’t hold the door anymore, it’ll partially disclocate my hip. The force of holding the door and turning does it. Sorry to everyone behind me!
NMN 4 years ago
Au contraire, if you hold, let others pass is at least one less person touching that door, which is good. Just don't breathe on them while doing so.
Load More Replies... #20
Chicago Dog Lover 4 years ago
Similar to "if they will cheat with you, they will cheat on you."
earringnut 4 years ago
I've heard this put a different way: " Someone who's capable of cheating on their girlfriend is also capable of cheating on their girlfriend."
Load More Replies... Stannous Flouride 4 years ago
Good thing people like that NEVER get elected to public office... WHAT? Oh. Never mind.
Sarcastic Panda 4 years ago
if they've cheated, they'll cheat on you. If they've stolen, they'll steal from you.
Joe Average 1 year ago
Oh this! I used to work at a company where my supervisor loved to tell stories about how he cheated little old ladies out of thousands of dollars doing routine home maintenance. He would charm them and then overcharge them for simple tasks. That was when I knew my time there would need to be short. He was a schemer and a liar - and still is today.
Leodavinci 4 years ago
An opportunist is some who takes advantage of opportunities when they present themselves, not someone who takes advantage of, gets over, or scams someone. Someone starting a business is an opportunist.
David Retsler 4 years ago
So, like the hedge funds have been doing for years until Gamestop happened?
WilvanderHeijden 4 years ago
Cut those creepy people out of your life. If they tell you that they are thieves over there, you know that they'll also be stealing over here if given the chance.
#21
Remi Flynne 4 years ago (edited)
My sister would believe 100% every critical story about every new boyfriend's exes. Boyfriend after boyfriend - they all had evil exes. Then, shock, discover that her boyfriends were actually the people with the problem. Not saying that applies in all cases but be wary if it's a trend in the partners you pick.
lemsip 4 years ago
I had one as well. All his exes were lazy. I started to think they had become depressed because of him. To him they were probably seen lazy for not being on the go all day and all evening.
Load More Replies...
Kira Flash 4 years ago
Abusers tend to go specifically for people with low self-esteem and a traumatic history. So of course those people are often victimized. That's just the sad reality of abuse.
Meghan Stith 4 years ago
I hate when guys call girls “crazy.” And specifically, their exes. Are they truly crazy or do you just not like being called out on your bullshit?
Megan Wohlers 4 years ago
Not always. Some girls end up with abuser after abuser... they’re not at fault. That being said, I had an abusuve ex with sob stories about his exes. Turned out he was the abusive rapist.
Lord Mysticlaw 4 years ago
I always like it when a guy I date is respectful and polite about/to his exes.
Sendé Vin 4 years ago
Right? And also in the earlier stages of a break up your probably more salty than a couple months/years down the line.
Load More Replies...
Andrew Cohen 4 years ago
Alisa you seem to have a lot of mean things to say about men. Some might see this as a red flag ;)
Jasmine Hufflepuff Henderson 4 years ago
The thing is though, sometimes it's true. I witnessed two of (my now ex) exes and uh it got crazy. One, her dad was a cop and tried to say he assaulted her when he wasn't even home, he was with friends two hours away. She admitted that as well when she messaged him and then wanted to get back together. But she did get in trouble by her father when she said she lied. And the other when she found out we were together, she messaged him on Facebook and first she said "I still love you." And then immediately proposed when he told her we were together. I was in the room for both of those conversations and it's changed my perspective on crazy exes. We ended on good terms and are still friends. We just wanted different things.
Son of Philosoraptor 4 years ago
Hey wait my ex-wife truly is a hag. I had my son, she had my daughter, she was shocked that I wasn't going to pay two kid's worth of child support to her! I shouldn't have paid any, what with each having one of two kids, but I still sent her one kid's worth to be nice and help her. And that made her really mad. So... Yeah eff her.
Andrew Cohen 4 years ago
The difference being ONE of the women you dated was horrible. If EVERY woman you dated was horrible, the problem might not be them.
Load More Replies... #22
Wendillon 4 years ago
What about a woman thinking it's "cute" when a man cooks them dinner? Are we throwing those women in the trash too or is this a gender specific thing?
Pamela24 4 years ago
We are, it's a two-way street. Applauding men who do the bare minimum at home is just as trashy.
Load More Replies...
Beatrice Multhaupt 4 years ago
Bone-chilling use of ''cute'': a 27-year-old student in my English-as -a -second-language class would regularly say things that made ABSOLUTELY no sense. ALL the guys in that class thought this was ''cute''. One day she forgot her purse on her desk and just as she was going through the door, I called her name, loudly. No response. I enlisted the help of a fluently bilingual man to find out what the problem was. She was profoundly deaf but brilliant enough to lip-read in her native Spanish to the point where not even her parents or employer (she worked in a bank) had figured this out. No one had tried to help her because they all thought that her odd behaviour was cute.
K. 4 years ago
Cringe indeed. I would have been so frustrated, mostly at myself for not realizing. It’s great that she’s amazing at lip reading, but we really need to learn how to work/interact/accommodate (?) more abilities and conditions.
Load More Replies...
DKS 001 4 years ago
I was helping to put up a picnic shelter some years back. I was enjoying my work, hammering nails in. Some 'man' came up, said "here's a pepsi", so I took it thinking it was for me. He took the hammer out of my hand and took over my job. I dumped the drink over his hands and walked off to do more work somewhere else.
Phunny Philosopher 4 years ago
This x 1000! Or men saying to a woman “You’re cute when you’re angry” thus implying you have no legit anger ever.
Damo Lee Park 4 years ago
women who think it's "cute" when a man washes his own dishes, or cleans his own room. Do we throw them out too for being ignorant sexist bitches?
Bacony Cakes 4 years ago
And then mix the ashes into concrete, build a house, and use the house in a nuclear test.
Load More Replies...
Evil Little Thing 4 years ago
Everything my girl does is cute because she's the cutest thing on the planet. Cuter than a boat full of kittens.
#23
Dre Mosley 4 years ago
I'm a guy that follows that advice. I'm a man that is only very casually into sports, and I've met a few sports obsessed women. They can be just as bad.
jennifer kerkow 4 years ago
I love how all the men in these comments are exactly the same lmao "BuT WOmEn.."
Load More Replies... athornedrose 4 years ago
especially ones that break things around them when their sports team loses. it's not out of their control, they just don't feel the need to control their anger.
Leodavinci 4 years ago
Over the years I've read many times that spousal abuse goes up on the day of the Super Bowl.
El Dee 4 years ago
In my country we have two sports team rivals that have resulted in assaults and murders, this happens every time they play. It's gotten so bad our police force visit the homes of some domestic abuse offenders prior to the game and actually take them into custody. Our social service really do have to work overtime on these weekends and many women and children miss work and school on the Monday due to visible injuries by these 'fans' They are the scum of the earth..
May 4 years ago
Not really - politics matter. Quite a lot in some places. Sports do not.
Load More Replies... Earl Grey 4 years ago (edited)
Well, it’s OK to get bummed out if your favorite team doesn’t win; otherwise, why are you even watching if you don’t care at all? But it is toxic to become so vicariously involved as to get angry at the world when your team loses (unless you just lost a really big sports bet, then it’s OK to feel badly about your own poor decision.)
Lorraine R 3 years ago
What I don't get is the fans who go on destructive rampages when their team WINS. Or is this more common in university towns?
Load More Replies...
KatSaidWhat 1 year ago
Millwall fans who arrange to meet opposite fans BEFORE the game to have fights.
#24
Vic 4 years ago
I see narcissistic behaviour is rising among people, or maybe it was always there any social just makes it more evident.
WilvanderHeijden 4 years ago
I agree and would even like to expand to: It seems that in these days people are only focused on themselves and can't even bring up the patience to listen to someone else. I see it happen a lot in talkshows where people can't even have the decency to hear someone out but start interrupting immediately. A lot of people have lost my respect in talkshows.
Load More Replies...
Alien 4 years ago
This is why I’m afraid to take care of myself mentally. I’m always afraid that I’ll turn out like this, so I never talk good about myself so I don’t get big headed. My therapist and parents try to change it, but the thought of being so self centred scares me
Yana Makarevitch 4 years ago
That's unlikely. Self-absorbed people never realise there's something wrong with them.
Load More Replies... David Retsler 4 years ago
Or when they bring the conversation back to them with nothing worthwhile to say.
Someoneeee 3 years ago
That doesnt mean theyre a bad person. Not everyone has perfect social skills
Load More Replies...
Nicholas McShane 4 years ago
Yep, they're all, "That's enough about me...let's talk about you...what do you think of me?"
Yana Makarevitch 4 years ago
Yes! no matter what you are talking about, they just say something like "okay" and try to turn the conversation back to the only thing they are interested in - themselves. If you don't let them - they suddenly have a thousand things to do, and also they aren't feeling so good and have to leave asap.
Someoneeee 3 years ago
Dont assume things. Some people just have bad social skills. Youre a bad person if you leave because someone has bad social skills
Load More Replies... K. 4 years ago
Not important, usually isn’t: For me, it’s okay if we have to make a little tangent so I get where the other person is coming from, that they have experiences that helps them understand me, or when they recall a prior conversation/time when I couldn’t empathize with them/others.
Lucy Skinner 4 years ago
Especially if they try to make you feel selfish for wanting to talk about anything other than them.
Lily Winchester 2 years ago
My grandma- cuts you off mid-sentence to talk about something completely different
#25
Daria B 4 years ago
The "you're not like other *insert group of people here*". Like... is that supposed to be a compliment? Maybe change your judgement?
Biljana Malesevic 4 years ago
This is very often used in romantic movies. That "special" girl, which implies other women are not special at all. I always hated that trope.
Darth Kittius 4 years ago
🎵 most girls are smart and strong and beautiful. Most girls work hard, go far, we are unstoppable. Most girls, we fight to win every day. No two are the same. I wanna be like I wanna be like most girls🎵 sorry about that haha just thought it fit
El muerto 4 years ago
is actually a manipulative pick up line. making you feel special over others. some people actually like it, red flag there too.
K. 4 years ago
Oh that makes sense. My other sister gets validation from this.
Load More Replies... Hermitbunny 4 years ago
This reminds me of the song "most girls" https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6mTqqloMDjI
eezycheezes101 4 years ago
BTW, for some reason, my comments multiply sometimes, so downvote if you feel like it, idrc.
#26
Pink kitty 4 years ago
I used to work as a cleaner. I couldn't understand why some people would leave their lunch rubbish on the table when you had to pass the bin to leave the room!
Stannous Flouride 4 years ago
I started working as a dishwasher/busboy when I was 13 and it taught me so much about the lowest levels human behavior. I really think that it should be required as a school curriculum.
Load More Replies...
cybermerlin2000 4 years ago
We (my fiancée and I) have always found that we get better service when we return because we are remembered for cleaning up after us. We also tip generously with good service and tip well for mediocre service. Bad service gets no tip.
Oskar vanZandt 4 years ago (edited)
This especially bothers me at IKEA where there are signs saying that you should clear your own tables so that they can keep costs down... Common courtesy to oblige.
Chelsea Shimell 4 years ago
The people who actually think that creates more jobs, nope it’s more work for the people who are already understaffed.
Patricia Kasprowski 4 years ago
Had an ex that would throw the trash from a drive-in outside the car window. When I objected he said, "It's their job. Wouldn't want to put someone out of work." Notice I said ex.
Nikki Sevven 4 years ago
Former bartender. I not only clean up my own stuff, but everything else within reach on the bar. Empty glasses, crumpled napkins, etc.
Hope in Jesus with Olivia 4 years ago
I always stack my table in sections bc i worked at a restaurant and i know it saves them time by only having to grab sections (trash, dishes)
RandomBeing 4 years ago
I always try to clean up at LEAST a little bit before I leave a restaurant.
#27
Wendillon 4 years ago
I feel like this might also be the influence of movies showing that you have to be persistent and if you keep trying he/she will fall in love with you so "don't give up".
aj B 4 years ago
Also is kind of what we as guys learned in high school. Most of the relationships I observed there involved girl saying no two or three times, and getting mad if the guy stopped/gave up because she was just "playing hard to get". I have to assume they were also learning this from those movies. Don't know if this has changed, but I know that the only thing it really taught me was I didn't have the energy to pursue a relationship (first one came about after turning 18)
Load More Replies...
Attila Ángyán 4 years ago
My best stories in life started like this. Come on lets go and do this and that. When i said no, there was always someone who said aw, come onnn, and we went for it. Sometimes people need a bit of encouragement to get out of their comfort zone to experience something better.
Daria B 4 years ago
It depends on how close you are and what they are proposing. If it's something like, for example, a weekend trip with a group of friends, why not? If it's a stranger asking me my phone number, nope.
Load More Replies...
Nicola Roberts 4 years ago
However, my father always taught me to ask twice, because people are taught to refuse instinctively out of politeness. This could be a British trait?
Lauren Caswell 4 years ago
It happens in the British commonwealth countries too to some extent Lol, it happens all the time here in NZ, kind of goes hand in hand with the "tall poppy"mentality we have here
Load More Replies... troufaki13 4 years ago
That's too general. In reality everybody does that. Anyone can try as long as there is no pressure to the other party. For example, last week I wanted sushi and my bf didn't but I said "aw come onnnn" a few times and he finally gave in :)
Dill 4 years ago
Don't want to be 'that person' or an a**e but I haven't done it or had it done to me. Actually, I lie I had it done to me once by a friend and didn't like it. I gave in to shut her up which is not a good reason to do something. I might explain my reasoning for a choice and hope to persuade but once done then I'll not try to push. My spouse wouldn't do it either. I'm not criticising you or anyone who might have done this in some minor context. I'm just disagreeing about the 'in reality everyone does'.
Load More Replies...
Eva Zavaleta 4 years ago
I think it depends on the person. For example, I am too shy and I am thankful that some people that know me really well will insist on something. For example my boyfriend will look at me after I say no and see if there is a hint that I really want something (sometimes I say no because I don't want to be a burden)
EQXL 4 years ago
When there is no nuance in comments like this the end is near. And why a man!? If a woman says "aw come onnnn" it is ok??
Valentino (they/it/he/xe) 3 years ago
Nope, in general people just need to understand that no means no. Just cause a woman says it, doesn't make it okay, just cause someone who's nonbinary says it, doesn't make it okay. It's stupid to see that this kinda stuff is seen as fine for anyone who isn't a man.
Load More Replies...
jennmooney 3 years ago
Oh yes huge red flag and this guy or girl will hound you for everything until you give in- Rubbing his back- having to have sex when you are 3 weeks post partum. Wanting his needs met when you are sick or tired. Yes run from this person.
Ruth Watry 2 years ago
That's when you say that you can't be with someone who does not understand basic English
Someoneeee 3 years ago
What about women? Also it depends on the context. U dont run if its something small but if its something serious then run
#28
Leo Domitrix 4 years ago
IMHO? We have to be careful what we mean by "drama", as in, do we mean overexaggerating small problems, or do we mean the person is a self-fulfilling prophecy of doom, or do we mean that they had bad luck and are feeling crappy about it?
Sacrosanct 4 years ago
I think drama here refers to the presence of constant conflict (with friends, family, strangers, objects, etc.)
Load More Replies...
Nichola Drigout 4 years ago
This is a tough one, I have a husband who is gravely ill, has had a transplant and an autistic son, so life has its challenges and is full of drama. I don't feel a victim at all but if someone asks me how things are and things are tough I don't embellish it but I'm not going to pretend either.
Keryl Cryer 4 years ago
I think the word that is missing here is “unnecessary” or “manufactured.” Real drama - medical issues, natural disasters, etc. - is one thing. Manufactured drama is something very different.
Gary h 4 years ago
Yeah, Victim of drama for the past 2 years and counting. I had a bad relationship, and right after that was over, In comes a homeless kid that has nowhere to go. I absolutely hate drama, I tend to completely avoid most people just sto ensure said drama never happens, also I have crippling anxiety but that's not the point. Sometimes life just gives you way too many lemons to make a little lemonade. So you just have to sit there and drink it till it's gone, Heartburn and all. This kid drives me nuts. All I want to do is make him leave, but I can't find it in me. Am I a bad person because of this? Queeny makes a completely biased and unfair statement right here. Drama can be unavoidable at times.
Summer Woodsong 4 years ago
I agree, I know folks that only feel truly alive when they are a fuss. It makes me tired.
#29
Kisses4Katie 4 years ago
High five me too. At least you made me smile today.
Load More Replies...
K.Kobayashi 4 years ago
Hmm, isn't this just a way of saying I try to achieve a good work/life balance?
Bob Belcher 4 years ago
Agreed. I work hard at my job because I actually like what I do. I play hard at home by doing things I enjoy like cashing my daughter around the house in our Zelda costumes. I got her into Zelda at a young age. Now she watches You Tube videos and teaches me things lol.
Load More Replies... Leodavinci 4 years ago
Says something is a red flag... but doesn't explain why. Sounds lazy... which would explain the dislike of men who "work hard and play hard".
NMN 4 years ago
Otherwise they'd loose their jobs (or idk, many different fetiches)
Load More Replies... 
The Cute Cat 4 years ago
What's wrong with this? What is wrong with giving the best to your work then enjoy the fun game??
Isog Sargent 4 years ago
I used to rate companies by the quality of their bathrooms. If the bathrooms were dirty or inadequate, I knew I didn't want to work there because they didn't care about their staff.
#30
Katie Lutesinger 4 years ago
I've never been religious, but I do like that line in the bible about how when you do good deeds it doesn't count if you brag about it afterwards. Because it's true - you should do kind, charitable things for their own sake, not just to make yourself look good.
Kerri Russ 4 years ago
Exactly... and they only see "good deeds" as something that will get them into heaven, as if God can't tell they're just hedging their bets. I've been around religious people my entire life as my mom was a church music director and I had to go with her (I'm an atheist since my 20s). I HEARD the nasty things religious people said about EVERYONE in their orbit and if that's how religious people are, I'm good not being among them. I like that I know how to be a good person without a book written by nomads without any evidence of authenticity.
Load More Replies...
K. 4 years ago
I agree about announcing every good deed seems a bit strange. That said, I love learning about the things I could do from the small to big, local and national level. I wouldn’t have known unless others have made it known. A few weeks ago, there was an article about a tik toker and the community of engineers and 3D printer owners who came together to work on a solution for an individual (now many more) with Parkinson’s. I am not good about differentiating self promotion and promoting a cause that one is involved with, between arrogance and having pride/confidence in oneself. My comment is not about the OP’s observation, just that sometimes we need to let time reveal the truth. In the meantime, do good deeds yourself and get friends/family to do the same.
Hilary James 4 years ago (edited)
I get what everyone’s saying and agree to an extent. However sometimes if you tell someone about something good you did for someone it inspires them to go do something good for someone:)
El Dee 4 years ago
I was very much the opposite of this in my marriage. I did lots of things behind the scenes to keep everyone happy without ever saying but unfortunately it made me miserable and everyone thought that was my own fault. In order for them to understand that I am compromising it IS necessary to tell them. My attitude helped end one marriage, I will always tell people now what I'm doing for them but I think that's more about not being a doormat than anything..
Canadian in Cornwall 4 years ago
Absolutely, like celebrities who help charities but have to be splashed all over the front pages of the papers. George Michael did alot for the homeless of London, serving at a soup kitchen, but never bragged about it.
Hope in Jesus with Olivia 4 years ago
I agree. Do your good deed and shut up about it. In my religion it says you don't get a reward in Heaven cuz you already got yours here on earth if you brag about it.
Lily Winchester 2 years ago
My grandma when i asked her to drive me to school for an important test "I'll do it because I'm a good Christian"; it wasn't that far of a drive but it was too hot for a person to walk that distance
#31
D. Pitbull 4 years ago
This is just a whole other issue - essentially some find themselves in this situation: 1.) Any story/anecdote, they are the wronged party - meaning: They are a true problem 2.) The person tells a mix of stories, they've been wronged, they wronged someone (and are very sorry about it) or screwed up - Well, now all the times you were screwed are ignored... and others now think you're an incompetent boob 3.) You only tell stories where you're... a screwup? Yeah... that doesn't help or 4.) You shut up and don't say anything........................and now you're boring, anti-social, wimpy, wishywashy.............
#32
mph seti 4 years ago
I hate this one. People have always been having their feelings hurt by insensitive (and bigoted) comments. It's just that nowadays it's much more acceptable to call people out on it. For example, decades ago, women had to just quietly take workplace harassment or be fired.
WilvanderHeijden 4 years ago
Well if people get enraged over a comic making fun of a politician, rockstar or some religious figure, I say the same.
May 4 years ago
But there's some truth to it though. As someone who's been teaching college students for over 10 years, I can see a shift in sensitivity. I don't mean to sexism or racism (I'm in Scandinavia - we don't do much of that here ;) but to just life in general. 10 years ago it was rare for a student to break down in tears during an exam, now I expect it. They have so much more anxiety than they used to - it's such a shame.
Joshua Topash 4 years ago
This ones a 50/50 for me because I do see a lot of people who do get offend by either everything or little things and I cant help but grind my teeth. Everyone's entitled to their own beliefs and way of life so imma just stfu.
Marlowe Fitzpatrik 4 years ago
Yes. For example when they are asked to return a shopping-cart.
Load More Replies... 
Zoe Vokes 4 years ago
And suggesting that to beat depression I just need to exercise, get fresh air, or just get over it. I’ve been depressed since puberty. It’s not going away.
Keryl Cryer 4 years ago
Those are people who confuse a case of the blues with a medical disorder. The adjective may be the same, but the concepts aren’t interchangeable.
Load More Replies...
Julie moreau quilliou 4 years ago
The vast majority of the people I know say that, I never know how to answer
thepinkrobot 4 years ago
Let them know that maybe they're saying the wrong things? Or support the wrong things if they're constantly offending people.
Load More Replies...
#33
Truth Monster 4 years ago
I disagree with this one. There is a lot of politically correct racist and misogynist things said and there are a lot of not politically correct things which are not racist and misogynistic. The preamble is to recognize that you may not agree with what they are saying. That doesn't make it automatically wrong.
Daria B 4 years ago
This, but it could also be a genuine fear of negative judgement. We're living in a hyper sensitive world.
Load More Replies...
Periwinkle 4 years ago
They must hate having to disguise homophobia, misogynism and racism nowadays..
No you didn't 4 years ago (edited)
Just like saying "no offense, but..." isn't going to make the following less offensive.
Afton 4 years ago
It's not politically correct to to say but FOX NEWS has absolutely no news about foxes.
WilvanderHeijden 4 years ago
"It's always racist, misogynistic or misandristic. " There I fixed it for you because I'm getting tired of the double standards here on BP.
Liberato 4 years ago
"I'm not racist but... /I'm not homophobic but... / I'm not xenophobic but.. are BIG NOPES
Googleman1234 4 years ago
Im not transphobic BUT sex is real and trans people are all rapists/oppressed women- a famous author
Load More Replies... 
Joanna 4 years ago
Using the phrase, "politically correct" is a red flag in and of itself - the rest of us just call it being decent and respectful.
Truth Monster 4 years ago
In the time of Nazi Germany, it was "politically correct" to blame Jews. PC culture doesn't make you a better human. It just means that you agree with the popularly accepted opinions, whether they are true/decent/respectful or not.
Load More Replies...
Kristof De Smet 4 years ago
I do agree with this one, but I must say that it is starting to get damn difficult not to hurt anyone when you say something. People tend to say things in the context of their own cultural and social life, and we have to try to understand eachother. Take 'Zwarte Piet' in Belgium or the Netherlands: this is considered blackface and blatant racism nowadays, but my parents never taught me that 'Zwarte Piet' was a bad person, he was 'Sinterklaas''s helper, and he was the guy/girl who made sure you got the presents, so he was the good guy (unless you were a bad kid). The fact that he was black, was due to the fact that he crawled down the chimney, not because he was African or whatever... Let's just try to understand eachother, and enjoy life together.
Ozacoter 4 years ago
It is a stupid thing to be angry about. It is obvious that having black helpers (that used to be portrayed as stupid) is going to offend people. The solution is to just incorporate Piets of different backgrounds and to give him a more active rol. Traditions change with time and its ok.
Load More Replies... #34
Paul Mitchell 4 years ago
Or... I'm a nice person.... it's not for them to judge, it's for people who know them to decide if that's what they think.
NMN 4 years ago
My husband IS a real good/nice guy. He never once said that about himself. You don't have to say if you ARE (I say it all the time about him tho)
Load More Replies... Canadian in Cornwall 4 years ago
yeah, if they feel they have to say it...they're worried you won't realise it !
Hope in Jesus with Olivia 4 years ago
This is frightening...its like they are trying to convince themselves too!
#35
Leo Domitrix 4 years ago
Or the court won't let them see their kids without supervision.
Load More Replies...
Chicago Dog Lover 4 years ago
One should see one's children when it is best for the CHILDREN, not oneself! Bragging about being selfish is never attractive.
K. 4 years ago
So true!! Being a fun parent is not the same as being a good parent by the way.
Load More Replies... 
Henry Tuttle 4 years ago
Nope, you're wrong on this one. I want my children half the time. And I'm going to have to fight my ex in court to get that. I'd like them 100% of the time, but I'm willing to concede that much. But not even half?
Barbara Vandewalle 4 years ago
The flip side is the child who does not have the time for their family; until they want something from them.
Lily Winchester 2 years ago
It kinda sounds like they're ignoring Judges' orders and just forcing their way into people's lives even when they are legally told not to
Mark Serbian, PK&RG,W 4 years ago
And, kids are smart, they clearly don't WANT to see them ...
#36
Hermitbunny 4 years ago
It's easy to assume women who don't have women friends must not like women. When really tons of us are just too f*ckin shy ^.^;;
Louloubelle 4 years ago
But if you're shy, you probably have no (or very few) friends of either gender. I think this is for the woman that ostracizes herself to other women.
Load More Replies...
birdie asf 4 years ago
I feel like this goes both ways. It's 100% ok to have friends of the opposite gender. I really don't care who you're friends with. I've found it easier as a girl to make friends with boys other than girls. I've seen a lot of guys find it easier to be friends with girls. It's fine. It's really doesn't define you as a person.
E Bytes 4 years ago
For a long time I didn’t have any girl friends simply because I didn’t fit in. I played video games and liked violence and gore. I was an outcast. So I had a large group of guy friends who didn’t care what gender I was.
Jasmine Hufflepuff Henderson 4 years ago
This was me as well. I was made fun of by girls/women while guys welcomed me with open arms and we talked about games, comics, marvel, and dc stuff all the time.
Load More Replies... El Dee 4 years ago
It's because there's so many who have had bad experiences in school, workplaces etc with exclusively female social groups. Their problem isn't really other women, it's toxic femininity (ie women who are assholes to other women because they view them as 'competition' etc) There's nothing wrong with enjoying the company of male friends and vice versa. I think that it's still frowned on because people can't believe a man & woman can be friends without wanting to f*ck frankly..
Vladimíra Matejová 4 years ago
or it could be they are more used to guys- maybe have a lot of brothers and then yes when confronted with an exclusively girls collective they had bad experience- gossiping, betrayal so they just stayed in their comfort zone surrounded by guys. For example I do have female friends but only a few. I preffer guys as they are more honest and have similar humor/interests. I was betrayed before by women and I prefer mixed male-female collectives or exclusively male and I have no desire to be treated special just the oposite. I did eventually marry a friend, but I had a tough decision if I want to go into it and ruin the friendship. But it was never my goal to befriend him so that we could be together. It just sometimes happens. I have many other male friends and never had any romantic/sexual relation with them
Load More Replies...
Daria Z 4 years ago
All my she-friends got married and gradually drifted out of touch with still unmarried me, even though I do have a bf. It makes me sad. But I won't get married for the sole reason of hanging out with them again.
Carrie de Luka 4 years ago
If your being married mattered that much to them... well, doesn't sound like they were really the right people for you. Seems rather shallow.
Load More Replies...
Yugan Talovich 4 years ago
Male boomer here: I long ago learned to avoid women who are sweet and friendly around men but not women.
Simone Taylor 4 years ago
Oh I dunno about this one. Up until my mid 30's I had mainly male friends because I just preferred the company of men. Also when I was a teenager- girls were catty and fairly back stabbing. I had no patience or time for that. It's only switched within the past 2 years or so.
DKS 001 4 years ago
I (a woman) don't like other women very much, because growing up I had an overbearing mother, and an abusive sister, and was bullied at school by other girls. I hung out with the boys because I felt safer and more accepted with them. I am working on it though, because I know that "not all women" are bad. Not all men are bad either. It just makes you more cautious.
Diane Aguilar 4 years ago
Congrats on "working on" your issues. I hope you're going to therapy because it sounds like you could use the assistance of some professionals. Because you're working through this issue, have an upvote.
Load More Replies... Phoenix 4 years ago
Well I have about three friends in total, only ones of the same sex as me, and she lives across the country. And when I was younger and I zero friends that were girls, but lot of friends that were boys. When I was younger I just found it easier to approach boys then girls, then middle school hit and it was hard to approach everyone. Period.
#37
Hermitbunny 4 years ago (edited)
I think basically a woman who would do anything for you, including things like dying, killing, committing to a life of crime, essentially willing to go to extremes with you. All or nothing. Bonnie and Clyde.
Load More Replies...
Diane Phillips-Herman 4 years ago
The term originally came from 1950s biker culture where "ride" was defined more literally and a "biker chick" would "stand by her man". The meaning changed so that "ride" would be defined more broadly and a woman would be willing to "ride" out any problems or else die trying.
Anastasia Ellen-Louise 4 years ago
Yeah, usually what they mean is they want a woman who doesn't have her own mind that lets him make all of her decisions for her. They don't want loyalty they want a controllable doll.
backatya 4 years ago
Oh you're one those women who think men are all dominating. Go away.
Load More Replies... Summer Woodsong 4 years ago
I had to look this up, apparently it started with the biking community, but the now broader meaning indicates that you are so passionately devoted to something that nothing less would do. Not a good fit for my view of relationship standards!
Salty Old Woman 4 years ago
Yes. This usually means he's going to wind up bankrupt or in jail
Load More Replies... 
#38
Iggy 4 years ago
No generation is soft. Those who suggest it should stop paying attention to silly Daily Mail nonsense.
Anandra Danubis 4 years ago
Agree. Putting people in generational boxes is just another way of sewing social division..
Load More Replies...
Christine Zanfino 4 years ago
In youth sports, participation trophies are regularly given out to all players , not just the ones that won the championship. I get it... we don't want any child to be left out or affect their self-esteem. However, it's counterproductive - we reward minimal effort with a prize. It doesn't prepare kids for the outside world. An employer doesn't pay an employee just because he/she put on pants and showed up. Has anyone else worked with someone paid the same amount as you - whereas you work hard everyday and the other person does the bare minimum?
David Retsler 4 years ago
Just remind them the participation trophies were their generation's idea.
Henry Tuttle 4 years ago
Psychologists agree that participation trophies are acceptable for young children. Above a certain age (10ish?), children should earn their trophies, praise, etc. Self-esteem without skills to back them are self-destructive.
Lisa Shelton 4 years ago
I find it funny when the older generation complains about younger ones and their participation trophies. Like, bitch, who was it that gave them the trophies?
Esther Evans 4 years ago
If someone is an a-hole, it doesn't matter what generation, race or gender they are....and vice versa
Bettie-Jean Neal 4 years ago
I use the whole "participation trophy" thing whenever I encounter an entitled asshat jerkwad.
El Dee 4 years ago
Totally agree! This generation is one of the best yet! Look at how our young people have risen to the challenge of COVID. They're the ones out delivering food to older and sick people and doing all sorts of front line work taking risks for the rest of us. Meanwhile, people my age are carping from the sidelines, refusing to wear masks and generally being assholes. Young people are putting the rest of us to shame..
deanna woods 4 years ago
Generation wars have gotten out of hand. It's like every generation picks on each other over how things are or used to be.
#39
Oskar vanZandt 4 years ago
I think the key of the OPs concern is that the men who say she's perfect barely know her... a bit premature to make such an evaluation. Plus those men probably have unrealistic expectations about a relationship with her...
Danieletc 4 years ago
Just downvote me now. So ... *ahem* How many times were you told you were *perfect* before having your doubts?
littlesaresare 4 years ago
Yeah this sounds more like a humble brag than anything else.
Load More Replies... I want cake 4 years ago
You do not want someone else to put you on a pedestal, because one way or another, you're going to fall off and when that happens you'll go from perfect to contemptible to them and nothing will get you back up there.
Jane Petersen 4 years ago
Yes, 1000 times, yes. The biggest abuser I was with called me a "Demigoddess". I had no idea the Hell that was to come. The higher the pedestal, the farther the fall - never seen as human, only goddess or trash.
El muerto 4 years ago
some people actually kind of crave that. if you don't tell them how great they are all the time, they get mad...but those people rise also red flags
K. 4 years ago (edited)
If they don’t affect my life, I feel more bad than repulsed about their behavior. It’s a lot of work to undo the craving for external validation:
Load More Replies... Lily Winchester 2 years ago
It seems a lot of strangers open conversations telling the other person how beautiful they are, or how much they love and miss them, when in reality, they don't know the first thing about their "baby"
CanadianaKa 4 years ago
Oh dear g/d, yes. The ones who announce that we're "perfect," I learned pretty quickly say that to EVERY woman they talk to, and are usually completely toxic in the long run.
thepinkrobot 4 years ago
It's a big red flag for someone to do this. It feels like love bombing.
#40
Ziva Kravdahl 4 years ago
Oh! I have one red flag! People who do not like others JUST because they like different things and judging others by it.
mph seti 4 years ago
Liking trump is even worse, IMO. But yeah...Billionaires (or wannabe billionaires) are terrible idols. They are where they are for being horrible people. Sure, they "won" the game of capitalism...But never without stepping on others, being born with a serious head start, and actively making selfish choices all their lives.
aubergine10003 4 years ago
Yeah, I don't agree with this one. My 77-year-old mom has a Tesla and is an Elon Musk fan - a lot of Tesla owners are, actually. And I don't think they are all assholes (I know for a fact that my mom isn't one)
Henry Tuttle 4 years ago
Elon Musk is a business genius who risked his money on crazy ideas for the betterment of humanity. But he's kinda a jerk. If you just consider his personal behavior without considering that his amazing accomplishments came partly because of his obnoxious and stubborn self-confidence, you are a red flag.
An Co 4 years ago
I have to admit that despite the fact he is bat-s**t crazy, I kind of like him. Unlike the total s**t-storm of a failed ex-president Trump, Musk actually is a good businessman. Yes, Musk knows nothing about anything outside of hard physics and business, but his crazyness is so fun to watch!
Forrest McCanless 4 years ago
Some people just don't like the smell of musk - it gives them a headache.
Beware of the Red Flags!
Did you enjoy those funny red flags? Well, we hope you did and also learned a thing or two about blind love. So, next time you notice a red flag, don’t turn a blind eye to it. What are some of the red flags that you have experienced? Don’t forget to let us know in the comments. Also, share this with your friends and steer them away from these red flags!
#41
Barbz 4 years ago
I'm not like other men/women. It annoys me. Why do you have to separate themselves from men/women. Why do they have such a prejudice against having girly/manly interests that they tear other people down for liking those things. So what if Regina likes pink? What's bad about Julio liking football? There's such a need to be 'different' that they just tear others down so they that can be the individualist, and everyone else is some stereotype that is lesser.
#42
EQXL 4 years ago
Americans making too much out of a word. Sure it's not something to just say all the time, but it has become such a big thing that it also scares those who really feel it and wanna be honest about it.
K. 4 years ago
Love-bombing can be manipulative, and it doesn’t hurt to show affection while you wait a few weeks to check in with yourself and if that love is more complex than a Pez dispenser. I don’t mean to take anything from your comment, just saying that I make sure that I care for someone more than a bowl of pho before I say that I love them.
Load More Replies...
Susan Trevaskis-Owen 4 years ago
I remember when I was about 20 or so, I started dating this guy I met at a record store. We had been going out for about two weeks (so this would have been maybe our third, fourth date?) when he reached out, put his hand on my stomach, and dreamily said, "Amy and Emily." Yup, he was naming our future kids. Needless to say, that was our last date.
Bee 2 years ago
I had an a*usive ex do something similar. Two weeks in and he's talking about kid names. Man, what's my last name?! He didn't even know that. Such a mistake
Load More Replies... Gin Marie 4 years ago
Wife beaters tend to do this. They pretend to first be the ideal boyfriend. Flowers, proposals, etc. They build you up. Then they start separating you from family, friends, support----first emotionally, then physically. Then comes pregnancy, because contrary to MRA lies, courts bend over backwards for fathers. Once there's a kid, they completely isolate the woman, physically, and communication wise, they start destroying her emotionally, then beating her. Note: if guys ONLY address female "violence against men" but not same sex violence, or try and ignore this pattern of behavior, they don't give a crap about DV, they're just tit-for-tatting MRAs.
King Joffrey 4 years ago
I disagree with this one. It might be an American thing (judging by the movies) but saying 'I love you' is not the same as proposing to someone or declaring you want to spend you life with them.
Hermitbunny 4 years ago (edited)
This has been mostly true for me too, except I wouldn't call it love bombing because it was never on purpose and it wasn't a mind game, it was just them being not ready for a real relationship. Young dudes *shrug* what can y'do. They were all still worth loving though, even though some ended bleugh lol, badly. They were just flawed people, just like me, trying to figure it out.
Paul Brown 1 year ago (edited)
I told my wife I loved her about a month into our relationship. We met in May and we got married in August. Been together 16 years now! I still love my wife, she's the best thing that's ever happened in my life.
Lorraine R 3 years ago
From the TV comedy "Major Dad": Sergeant is explaining why she broke up with her boyfriend -- "He used the L-word." Major (angrily): "He called you a liberal?"
Load More Replies...
InfectedVoice 4 years ago
I don't know, me and my wife told each other that within a couple of weeks, we had fallen hard for each other, and we're still married nearly a decade later.
#43
dlk2000 4 years ago
this is the only one of these that I don't agree with. I don't want kids and whenever it casually comes up in coversation, its like i'm some kind of monster. Not like I go around hating children, but that seems to be how everyone reacts to this point of view
Ozacoter 4 years ago
Yeah. It is still not socially acepted to not like kids. Specially as a woman.
Load More Replies... dlk2000 4 years ago
this is the only one of these that I do not agree with. I do not want kinds and everyone reacts like you are some kind of monster when this casually comes up in conversation. It's not like I go around hating children, but thats how everyone else seems to see this point of view
Sarcastic Panda 4 years ago
I 100% agree. It's ok to not want children, but to make conversation about hating them?? this also applies to most things
Jus 4 years ago
You don't have to want children to be a good partner. It's better to say: I don't want to have children, are you ok with that? But the society in general forces you to love children, pushes to have them, talk about nothing else when you have small children. Anger and "hate" may be just frustration of a person who is pushed to be ecstatic about children like everyone else. These questions: Why don't you want children?! - as if they were the sense of existence... I get people who are angry about it and say they "hate" children. I don't think it's real hate.
Martha Meyer 4 years ago
People who scream all over the internet how they are “childfree“. Fine if yoz don't want a kid, but no need to use such a violent word, where people who desperately want but can't have a kid, can see it.
#44
Barbz 4 years ago
I don't think some of you understand what she's saying. A male gynecologist most likely knows the hygiene around the female body. The girl in this tweet is talking about men that know nothing about female anatomy and are telling women how to clean their genitalia. This isn't uncommon, I've seen men that say women should clean their crotch with soap, when in reality, if they did that they'd most likely develop a yeast infection. You guys are putting so much effort into wrapping your heads around this tweet. It's not that deep.
Artoonist Corine 4 years ago
Mansplaining to me means when a man tries to explain something to me that he - as a man- would know NOTHING about. (ex: how to insert a tampon properly) <- been there, had that conversation. In the example of the gynecologist dad - that's not mansplaining - he's an expert/trained in his field.
Load More Replies...
Oskar vanZandt 4 years ago
Sometimes it's better for a man to simply shut the f*ck up... and assume that the woman or girl they're speaking to can think for themselves.
Barbz 4 years ago
She can clean herself without others instructing her on how to. Unless you're a (male) gynecologist, you shouldn't be telling women how to clean themselves if you are not a woman yourself.
Load More Replies... Shelley MacDonald 4 years ago
Kira, what does this have to do with the post about average men, manslaining hygiene? By definition, if a DOCTOR is doing the explaining, it is not mansplaining. Poor you and your random, one-off, un-related comments trying to negate an experience most women have had.
Load More Replies... Ozacoter 4 years ago
As a woman with endometriosis I need to tell you that most doctors and gynecologists know s**t about womans health.
Load More Replies... 
#45
Martha Meyer 4 years ago
Read that post again maybe, and you'll understand what the 100% refers to.
Load More Replies... Dill 4 years ago
My brother in law struggles with people disagreeing with him, but women having an opinion? Oh my no! His wife has been conditioned to think having an opinion = opinionated and that is a terrible crime against humanity! Fell out with him when he was being an arsehole about gay people and I disagreed with his offensive out of date rubbish and he verbally attacked me when my husband left the room. Coward with other men but big brave fellow with women.
David Retsler 4 years ago
What did your husband do when he returned to the room and you told him what he said?
Load More Replies... David Retsler 4 years ago
So... strippers and porn actresses. Got it. (Although I dated a stripper for 4 months and she was one of the kindest, most down to earth women I dated. She stripped for tuition money and now has a successful therapy practice in DC.)
Load More Replies... deathrose 4 years ago
My husband is one of those exceptions. His mom tried to have him put in jail for insurance fraud after he had surgery. The insurance was in her name and they sent checks to her instead of the doctor. She took and spent that 9,000 on God knows what. But because the surgery was for him and he signed the promissory note he was on the hook for it. His grandmother is a piece of work too. The family went to have dinner together and the grandmother found a manager and yelled at him because 40 minutes after ordering all 10 of us didn't have our food. She got the whole thing compted and was very proud of herself. Every single one of them but my husband and I very proud of it. The two of us were embarrassed. We've worked food industry our whole lives. My husband threats all my sister's and my step mom like his own and sometimes I think they like him better then me lol.
Louloubelle 4 years ago
So hopefully, your husband treats his mother in the manner she deserves. By not interacting with her. Jeez, what a toxic bunch.
Load More Replies...
Lord Mysticlaw 4 years ago
I like guys who have good relationships with their mother (and sister/s). It's a good sign most of the time. (Obviously taking into account that sometimes there are very real and valid reasons why there isn't a good relationship.)
Eric Lafleur 4 years ago
I've heard a saying when I was very young that made perfect sense to me later in life: "Treat the mother of your child like you want your daughter to be treated and the way you want your son to treat women". Or something like that anyway. I wouldn't want my daughter to be treated like s*** and if I had a son, I would've want him to treat women with the utmost respect. That's how I've been raised anyway, even if my parents never told me specifically. It's just the way they were with each other, even when arguing passionalely.
Tala Koala 4 years ago
What if the woman/women in their family were abusive or enabling of abuse??? Should we hold being an abuse victim against them, especially if it happened when they were kids? Wouldn’t it be very toxic, conversely, to force them into an unrealistic relationship with their abusers just to make you happy and not fulfill your stereotype? Doesn’t that make you an abuser as well?? Disgusting. And ugly bleach blonde!
InfectedVoice 4 years ago
Yep, I have one sister who is a nasty piece of work, I love her, because she's my sister, but I have zero respect for her, she can f*** off.
#46
Meike H 4 years ago
Because it relieves you of the burden of trying to be good enough? Maybe? Also just speculating/asking.
Load More Replies... Tracy Wallick 4 years ago
It's also a common tactic of abusers, to make their partners feel like they're the ones with power in the relationship when they're really being manipulated
Oskar vanZandt 4 years ago
As a prelude to a relationship "You're too good for me" smacks of low self esteem... maybe that person needs to go work on themselves first.
Shay Gosnell 4 years ago
My bf says that all the time, but guys are insecure as f**k just as much as woman
Lord Mysticlaw 4 years ago
Tbh I would want to find out what's wrong with their self-esteem to make them think this. Or do they not think it but just say it because they think people will respond well to it? And if so, why??
#47
Troux 4 years ago
If you can bankrupt a casino, you're not a good businessman. If you can bankrupt FIVE casinos, you're the largest parasite known to science.
Wendillon 4 years ago
Bankrupting 5 casinos is actually quite impressive....not someone I'd want in control of my finances or business venture but impressive none the less.
Load More Replies... 
Tracy Wallick 4 years ago
You can be a devil's advocate without being deliberately inflammatory
LittleMissLotus 4 years ago
It's become clear to me after reading more about his business ventures and background that the only good business skills he had were knowing how to convince his father to let him take over his already-existent nd already wildly profitable business and knowing the bare minimum on how to keep it running
Oskar vanZandt 4 years ago
I'd agree with "Trump is a con-artist"... conning investors and contractors out of millions.
CrEaTiVe_duck 4 years ago
Okay STORY TIMEE- Just today i was asking a friend of mine why a females nipples and censored out but not a males (it was from some BP article thing) and my friend said (i quote) "i wish it was the other way around" with those creepy hehe emoji's and i blocked him. My other friend found out about this and asked the dude WHY he wrote that to a girl and his response to my friends question was "Oh i wanted to see Nicky's reaction" i was SHOOK when she told me he said that
#48
Troux 4 years ago
This needs context. There are some overcontrolling types who demand devotion and almost worship in a relationship and they call it 'loyalty' in the same way they expect a dog to by loyal. On the other hand, there are people who ask for loyalty simply because they've been cheated on or abandoned in some form and are just looking for a person who will stick with them and not get bored or dismissive or dishonest towards them.
David Retsler 4 years ago
Didn't we just wrap up four years of the former example?
Load More Replies... Trisha Samant 4 years ago
Why? I mean some people could be excessively possessive or toxic but umm what's wrong with loyalty being important?
StIJN 4 years ago
it's only wrong if it's the most important thing. You always need a more important reason why you are loyal.
Load More Replies... 
Katherine Boag 4 years ago
Loyalty over standing up for yourself. Loyalty over your rights. Loyalty over your needs. Loyalty over your safety. Loyalty to him over any other loyalties you have.
Load More Replies... 
AlmightyOne 4 years ago
I do enjoy a loyal relationship, but that's only because I want trust. When I say loyal, I usually mean "don't cheat"
Phoenix 4 years ago
Well this needs context, there are some with the need to be in control. Then there are people like me who just don’t want them cheating on us, lying or selling the stuff we entrust in them. Like the two most important things to me in a relationship is compatibility and loyalty to each other. I’m naturally loyal to all my friends, but I’ve had friends that aren’t the same and have shared the stuff I tell them or use that stuff against me.
#49
Raine Soo 4 years ago (edited)
Entrepreneur is the new meaning for unemployed. Oh, wait, or is that an influencer?
Dre Mosley 4 years ago
And she's usually caught up in some BS Multilevel Marketing nonsense like Lularoe or Beachbody Coaching and uses hashtags like #bossbabe, #girlboss, or calls herself, "momtreprenuer" if she has kids.
Load More Replies... hey, not my problem 4 years ago
Entrepreneur literally means to be starting a new business. if l was a woman, l would admire someone who would be brave enough to start their own business, as 70% of them don't work out.
David Retsler 4 years ago
Then what do you call someone building their own business from the ground up? "Influencer"? LOL
Anne Reid 4 years ago
Small business owner. AKA, the one she actually working hard to achieve something. People who call themselves “entrepreneurs” generally aren’t doing much of anything at all.
Load More Replies... #50
Foxxy (The Original) 4 years ago
I disagree with this. I honestly do not care what people think of me (online) but I am not an asshole and don’t use it as an excuse to be terrible.
Dill 4 years ago
Not caring about opinion online feels different to me from not caring what people think of you in your face to face and daily life. I think this is more about people who act badly to the majority of the people they meet, unless it suits them otherwise.
Load More Replies...
David Retsler 4 years ago
Once you hit your 40's you don't give a s**t about what people think about you anyway.
Lillukka79 4 years ago
Came to say this. Never cared a lot, but now really don't give a s**t.
Load More Replies...
Louloubelle 4 years ago
Yes, there's something about dropping it in a conversation with someone you already know, but if this is an opener, I'm erring on the side of asshole.
Load More Replies... Aroace tiger 4 years ago
I disagree I don't think I'm an asshole but I don't care what others think about me. This is the only way I can mess around and be me in a world full of judgement. The only problem is my anxiety cares.
Lorraine R 3 years ago
I still have this, thanks to a mom who was always worried about what the neighbors would think -- and for her, the neighbors were everybody in the wider world. This is actually a kind of egotism; why should strangers care what I wear or do? I must say, though, that a sincere compliment from a stranger can lift my spirits.
Load More Replies... deathrose 4 years ago
I don't actually agree with this one. A lot of people think that my husband and I are too old/young for our hobbies but neither of us care about their opinions. We play video games, Magic: The Gathering, and tabletop RPGs. And while he's out playing aerosoft I'm sitting at home knitting blankets and pumpkins. Our hobbies are there to please us, not anyone else.
Piper McLean 4 years ago
I honestly don’t care if people call me weird or a loner so i personally disagree with this one
#51
Hermitbunny 4 years ago
On the brightside of this, people who have been through a lot won't always react the same. Someone who's never embarrassed could be thinking "this is nothing compared to that one time.."
Wendillon 4 years ago
I think that might be the point. Not feeling those emotions is a symptom of an underlying mental issue that may or may not negatively impact a relationship.
Load More Replies... Tala Koala 4 years ago
The last decent thing she did was when she was a little kid, stop trying to be relevant.
David Retsler 4 years ago
I have never met someone who wasn't scared at some point in their life. I worked with Navy SEALS and all kinds of special forces types in the past. They get scared too. The difference is they do their jobs anyway. As they say, you can only be brave when you're scared.
#52
Dave 4 years ago
Logic is how two can find a compromise and make good decisions and judgement calls, whereas feelings muddy the water and people tend to overreact and draw out a simple misunderstanding into a prolonged drama. Yes, we discuss feelings, but to go into extreme, no thank you. If you cannot sit down and discuss things like an adult, then I will know that you are a drama queen, who thrives on toxic emotional blackmail and manipulation and I will call you out on it and then walk away. If you want to be treated with respect, do not try mind games with me.
Katherine Boag 4 years ago
Most people think they are being perfectly logical because they havent examined their underlying assumptions
Daria B 4 years ago
Thank you for pointing this out. I've seen people who think they're logical and fair, but really were the worst irrational drama queens I've ever met.
Load More Replies... hey, not my problem 4 years ago
again, l am autistic. l do not understand emotions. my life MUST be logical, or it doesn't work
Truth Monster 4 years ago
Feelings are just feelings. Logic and facts are the girders to higher understanding.
Andy Acceber 4 years ago
There's more to life than just facts or feelings. Letting either dictate your life will leave you horribly unbalanced. Think broader.
Load More Replies... Hugo Raible 4 years ago
Bye. Valueing feelings over facts is a red flag for me. Those people usually are not able to have a proper debate.
#53
Mohsie Supposie 4 years ago
This will depend entirely on the person. I would definitely not call that a red flag. For example, policemen/women will always refer to people as male or female. Are all policemen/women red flags?
Annie Niemands 4 years ago
I think the issue is female/male is adjectives and using it like that erases the person's subject. You can say "a male surgeon" because it's the surgeon you're reffering to, but just "a male" isn't describing anything. In nature documentaries they'll present an animal, and then they might say "the female" but that means the female koala, it has context whilst people in random situations does not call for reffering to them as adjectives. The part about the police is a straw man, or should I say straw male. That's nothing they learn at academy, to call people female/male, not part of their code or anything, just a cultural thing. Maybe it helps American cops to distance themselves from the person they're chasing? Police in my country don't reffer to people as male or female. But I agree it depends on the person, it's not a red flag really.
Load More Replies...
Foxxy (The Original) 4 years ago
Seriously? This is a red flag? Guess I must be a terrible person then coz I use the term females many times and I am not going to stop.
Periwinkle 4 years ago
More in the sense that instead of just saying women, it's out of no where, " Females " I'm sure the context you'd use is not bad but it usually shows they lack respect for women. Not always.
Load More Replies... 
Afton 4 years ago
Welp, i guess i'm being sexist for calling woman females, but i can't call them woman or else they might think i'm saying that they look old, and i also can't call them girls because they might think i'm calling them immature. So my only option is to either call them queens or she people.
Leo Domitrix 4 years ago
Don't go near a medical school, then, b/c "male" and "female" are used all the time!
Margaret Rae 4 years ago
You're right, about med school in America. In other countries it's very degrading to refer to a woman patient as a "female" or a man patient as a "male"
Load More Replies... Kira Flash 4 years ago
From a European perspective it sounds very degrading. We call only animals males and females!
#54
#55
David Retsler 4 years ago
So, like if I say "the Sun always comes up in the East" or "Trump never won the popular vote"...
#56
Truth Monster 4 years ago
Playing devil's advocate can help you see more points of view and identify weak or flawed spots in logic.
Aunt Messy 4 years ago
It's also childish and annoying and people who do this all the time are usually narcissists who think other people don't matter.
Load More Replies... Dre Mosley 4 years ago
Oh, so you don't want to be challenged and only want to see one side of the equation. Gotcha.
BlackestDawn 4 years ago
You don't need to always play devil's advocate to have a discussion (not equation). This is something that is very context/topic dependent, sometimes you just want to just talk and not having to defend your point.
Load More Replies... Wendillon 4 years ago
Is this really a red flag? I love a good game of devil's advocate when my partner is getting a bit too into one perspective.
Jon S. 4 years ago
Same, but I have met people who are just ingrained contrarians and have to contradict what you are saying, no matter what you are saying. It is tiresome, and I think a way for them to be the centre of attention for a few minutes.
Load More Replies...
Julie moreau quilliou 4 years ago
The key word here is "constantly". I know a few people like that and it's absolutely exhausting. I tried shifting position to test them, they immediately take the side opposite what they were defending the day before.
King Joffrey 4 years ago
I actually rather like people who play the devil's advocate as it often makes me realise that my thinking is flawed. I don't like people who do it for the sake of it though.
#57
Kno 4 years ago
Well it all depends case by case. My fiancé's ex wasn't crazy, but she did traumatize him to the point he didn't think he was worth being loved. Took me months and it's still a work in progress to improve that mindset, but people CAN and WILL hurt you if you let them, it doesn't matter if you're a woman or a man or a shiny unicorn. Some people like to leave devastation behind them, no idea why.
#58
Hermitbunny 4 years ago (edited)
It's not bad to recognize the neurological happenings in our brain, but they end up seeing selfless behavior that is also self interested as all bad. It's kind of beautiful imo, being kind is also selfish? How weird is that.
LittleMissLotus 4 years ago
I only dislike it when people do this if they see every single good thing that someone does as selfish. Like, who cares if this person pulled a baby out of a burning baby just so they could feel like a hero? They still saved a baby's life- and that's a good thing, no matter their motivation.
#59
StIJN 4 years ago
in general, or just in batman context? the dark knight one vs the joker vs the zany joker of the animated series vs romero. i think some can be a fan favorite without having mental issues.
Wendillon 4 years ago
I think the line would be between "favourite character" and "idol". It's cool for your favourite character to be the Joker (he's entertaining as all heck) but if your idol is the Joker there might be more going on...
Load More Replies...
Natalie Bohrteller 4 years ago
If you don't add "....and I want to be like him." I don't see too much of a problem here.
Kristof De Smet 4 years ago
I'm not too big a fan of Batman movies, but Heath Leger in 'The Dark Knight' was probably one of the best acting performances the world will ever see
Raine Soo 4 years ago
I know someone who said his favourite character in 'The Game of Thrones' was Joffrey. That raised a few eyebrows.
David Retsler 4 years ago
I read that as a compliment to the guy who acted that part.
Load More Replies... Troux 4 years ago
He was arguably the most popular character in the most popular Batman movie and the most popular animated Batman movie and comic (The Killing Joke). He's interesting and challenges expectations, which makes for a good villain. Here's a more alarming red flag: "My favorite superhero movie is Batman vs. Superman"
Kira Okah 4 years ago
As long as he is not your idol, what is wrong with liking a villain? One of my favourite story characters of all time is a villain, ad that is because he is so so well written that I hate him. If you can write such a plausible villain that the audience can hate them, then that is amazing. As an aside, te Joker in the Adam West Batman is hilarious, then again so is the whole show.
EQXL 4 years ago
This is just shallow. I remember ready about (I think it was) Remy Bolton from GoT. Personally I hated the guy, he was one of the most evil characters ever. But the thing I read was zooming in on how great the character was portrayed, what a good job the actor did. And I really needed to process this for a while untill I did agree with the writer. I have to say that I loved the joker in the dark Knight, but that's mainly because it was briljantly acted.
Add New Image
What do you think ?
Alethia Nyx 4 years ago
Why do so many people think this is about women hating on men? The red flags can apply to anyone, I can apply a few of these to former friends and colleagues, some of which I wish I had have realised sooner. People other than lovers can cause you pain.
MiaOokami 4 years ago
Maybe someone made several accounts, and then downvoted all the comments? I don't know how else this would have happened.
Load More Replies...
Mrs. Ginger McSarcasm 3 years ago
What if they're referring to a physical illness they can't control that have led a lot of people to reject them during a flare-up? Maybe they just want someone who won't leave when they're ill and bedridden ?
Load More Replies...
Okuhle Ndlela 4 years ago
"This is just how I am, take it or leave it." These people do nothing to improve themselves and take no accountability for their actions. Everyone just has to accept them and compromise for them every single time.
Alethia Nyx 4 years ago
Why do so many people think this is about women hating on men? The red flags can apply to anyone, I can apply a few of these to former friends and colleagues, some of which I wish I had have realised sooner. People other than lovers can cause you pain.
MiaOokami 4 years ago
Maybe someone made several accounts, and then downvoted all the comments? I don't know how else this would have happened.
Load More Replies... Mrs. Ginger McSarcasm 3 years ago
What if they're referring to a physical illness they can't control that have led a lot of people to reject them during a flare-up? Maybe they just want someone who won't leave when they're ill and bedridden ?
Load More Replies... Okuhle Ndlela 4 years ago
"This is just how I am, take it or leave it." These people do nothing to improve themselves and take no accountability for their actions. Everyone just has to accept them and compromise for them every single time.
Related on Bored Panda
