35 People That Did Such Horrid Things Their Closest Friends Just Had To End Their Friendship
Interview
If you ever shared a BFF necklace with someone in your kindergarten class or got a matching tattoo with your college roommate, you know how strong the bond of friendship can be. But unfortunately, life is unpredictable, and sometimes we need to shut the door on people who were once our closest companions.
One curious Reddit user recently asked others to share reasons why their former friendships have ended, and hundreds of people weighed in with heartbreakingly honest responses. Below, you can read all about these friendships that reached their expiration dates, as well as hear from Licensed Clinical Social Worker Sarah Betz, and be sure to upvote the stories that resonate with you.
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Me ghosting them.
I tend to lose touch with people when I'm no longer physically within their presence. Like, I lost my high school friends when I went to college. Lost college buddies when I graduated and started working. Lost my close colleagues when pandemic hit and remote work became a thing. Now I have no friends since I rarely leave the house anymore.
I stopped being the first to always initiate plans, and that was that.
This issue can be a two-way street. I work with someone that was in a position to make work life difficult if she didn't like you. And she clearly welded that sword. Many years ago we use to both be part of a group of friends at the office, but the rest have all moved on. We would still reach out to me to go places and do lunches, and I was afraid not to go because she could make work life hard. The time together was usually her griping about co-workers and griping about her own issues. I never initiated time with her, she did that. During COVID she was easy to avoid, but post COVID the invitations started coming again. I would go, but I never initiated. She eventually quit inviting me, but since it was on her terms I have not experienced any of the usual retaliation that I've seen other people suffer. I get I could have been clear on my boundaries about the negativity, but this way I get to keep some peace in my work life.
To learn more about what sparked this conversation in the first place, we reached out to Reddit user u/_ReDd1T_UsEr, who posed the question, "What was the reason why your friendship ended with someone?" Lucky for us, he was happy to have a chat with Bored Panda and shared, "I was inspired by my own experience with losing a friend and I wanted to see if anyone else had gone through something similar I also wanted to give them a chance to talk about it."
I've lost like all but two of my 'friends' because I stopped drinking and doing hard drugs.
No called-no showed to my wedding. We had been drifting apart already for a few years due to work and other life things getting in the way. But I made an effort to still invite him to because he had been an important part of my life and helped me through some hard times. He never responded to the rsvp. I called him up to see if he had lost it, gave him the date, and told him I was excited to see him there and celebrate.
Didn’t show up, didn’t even send a text or call with a reason, never even offered a single congratulations.
He instead messaged me a few weeks after with the audacity to ask if I wanted to take some photos of his dads car that he was trying to sell. When I confronted him and told him how disappointed I was, he gave some b******t about how we’ll always be friends no matter what.
Then almost a year later he comes back into town and texts my brother “Yo bro let’s hit up the bars tonight” and my brother as the ride or die he is lit him up. “Dude you bailed on my brothers wedding, never offered an apology or reason (he now claims his car broke down, but no text was ever sent) and you’ve never made any effort to check in on our lives. We don’t go out to bars anymore, we’re both in serious relationships or married, and your friend you bailed on is about to have a kid. F**k off”. I’m super grateful for my brother for that.
As for my former friend. F**k you. Actions speak louder than words.
My dad's side of the family did the same thing to my wedding. All of them (excluding my dad of course he was obviously here) didn't even send an rsvp in which I had already put a stamp on and everything.
The OP also shared about how his own experience losing a friend impacted him. "When I was in high school, I had to end my friendship with my best friend because he began hanging out with negative people and became toxic towards me," he explained. "It hurt. Especially because on my first day there, he stood up for me when I was bullied. But I've also came to understand it was the best thing for both of us."
She was a taker, constantly. When I needed something she made it about her yet again. Exhausting to be around.
Her bf strangles her and put her in a choke hold one night bc she wouldn't let him have the keys to her car as he was intoxicated. I came over the next day to offer comfort and encouraged her to rethink the relationship. She took him back and now I'm not allowed to contact them for " trying to drive a wedge between them"
When it comes to why ending friendships is so difficult and painful, _ReDd1T_UsEr supposes, "[It's] because you aren't just strangers to each other. Both people have had good memories together, and they were people that you wanted in your life before you or they ended the friendship."
We were also curious what his thoughts were on all of the responses his post received. "I was very surprised at how many different people talked about their experiences and how many were in the right and wrong. The ones where they said their friends were badly influenced by someone and negatively changed as people reminded me of my own experience."
He kept embarrassing me in front of girls to make himself seem cooler.
Sometimes he’d bring up embarrassing stories that i obviously wouldn’t want someone to hear. Often they were things I told him in confidence because i needed to get it off my chest.
I asked him to stop but he just kept trying it. Sometimes he’d deny doing it altogether and other times he’d bring up something i did years ago to justify why he was doing it and other times he’d just not care. In the end i just stopped talking to him
Dude was a massive prick.
He told me that atheists should be second-class citizens, kept out of any form of government, and be prevented from voting or running for office.
I'm an atheist. I'm also a veteran and active in local politics. He only volunteers for his church, and the most political thing he has done is fly a flag and vote.
I thanked him and never said another word to him again. This was ten years before Trump was elected. He hasn't bothered to reach out.
He's never been worth your time. But, this seems to be an opinion that is generally accepted, as then-candidate George Bush Sr. said pretty much the same in his campaign, and yet, got elected. Everybody giving the littlest damn about civil rights, and truly understands them for what they are and why they must be, could not vote for him anymore, and, still, he got into office. Seeing atheists as inferior people who shouldn't be citizens. "One nation under god". That old BS again, and they still poison the entire country and culture with this exclusionory attempt. Christian Supremacy isn't less evil than White Supremacy is, but, it seems, isn't even seen as a problem whatsoever by more than enough people to not have to care about even downright insulting and threatening atheists for what they are and, with every right imaginable, believe.
The OP also left us with some wise words for anyone who is considering ending a friendship of their own. "If you have tried everything, but you feel the friendship needs to end, talk to them. Be honest, and tell them why you don't want to be friends anymore. By doing that, you will be giving both of you closure, and you can then move on with your life."
It was with a group. A bunch of guys I hung out with in high school and college, the quintessential role playing crowd. They were fun in high school, but when I got into college, I noticed these guys were kind of...well....dysfunctional. As in, none of them could keep jobs, none of them could enjoy a relationship, and they all sat around and complained about how the entire world was unfair, how it didn't recognize their collective intellectual gifts.
Meanwhile, I was not just busting my a*s in school but working my way through to pay for it. And while my dating life wasn't the best, I managed to have a couple of long-term girlfriends. But if I was going out on a date, there was something wrong with me because I wasn't hanging out with them.
But I'd still spend time with them. When one of them would lose a job, I'd lend him money. When another of them was arrested for DUI in a small town 150 miles away at 9 pm on a Sunday night, I drove down there to bail him out. And so on.
Then my father had a sudden illness and went into a coma. Died a week later. During that time, only one of them called and came to the funeral.
A week after the funeral, they just started calling me again as if nothing had happened. As in, "Hey, heard your dad died. Bummer. We're meeting at Dennis' apartment at 7."
I dumped them, with the sole exception of the friend who showed up to the funeral. I remain friends with him to this day.
But I remember reading something once: You are the sum total of the five people with whom you spend the most time. And, you know what? That's absolutely true. What they value, how they spend their time and energy, and everything else has a way of rubbing off onto you.
So when I dumped them, I made it a point to cultivate better friends. Friends who gave a damn.
Every once in a while, I still bump into one or the other of them. Two of them never could hold down jobs and live with their aging parents. Good decision on my part.
When he started dating my ex but hid it from me for an entire year. Only told me when I was furious at him for a totally different reason, then when I was reasonably mad and told him to just leave me alone and that we weren't friends anymore, he went and told all of our mutual friends that I was in a murderous rage and it would be dangerous to hang out with me. Friends told me they didn't believe him but that it was just easier to go along with it than call him out on his BS and that I wouldn't be invited to things he was invited to.
Realized that day that my (former) best friend was a lying sociopath and the rest of my friends cared more about not making waves than they did about me.
Left the whole lot of them behind and went and found new friends. Best decision of my life.
We also reached out to Licensed Clinical Social Worker and the Founder of Meadow Therapy, Sarah Betz, to hear her thoughts on the topic. Sarah specializes in trauma, including childhood trauma, emotional abuse, physical abuse, and sexual abuse, codependency, mind-body work, addiction, PTSD, disassociation, anxiety, depression, and self-harm. She is also passionate about LGBTQIA-affirming, body-positive, and sex-positive therapy, and was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda about what it takes to have a healthy friendship.
"Healthy friendships are much like romantic relationships," Sarah shared. "They require communication, consistency, reciprocity, respect, trust, and authenticity. Conflict is healthy within all relationships if done with care. You can expect to disagree, argue, and not get your needs met sometimes. It's more about how you fight rather than if you fight."
She was one of my dearest friends. Then my mom died unexpectedly, and my dear friend didn’t contact me. She was on Facebook, she saw the post. She just…didn’t contact me. I couldn’t believe it. With every day that passed, I kept waiting for my best friend to contact me and acknowledge my mom’s sudden death. She didn’t. The pain she put me through during what was already the worst time of my life…I hope she knows how violently scummy that was.
I'm very sorry for your loss. Why didn't you call your dear friend when your mom died? It's not a Facebook post that should have let her know of the painful situation you were facing. Not blaming the victim!!! Just curious as I would call the people closest to me first (and not posted it to Facebook but that's a personal preference)
Of all the toxic friends I’ve had to drop in the past two years, there was one thing in common: feeling the need to put me down, whether they were insecure or just “making a joke.” Not worth any of that.
As far as why many friendships reach their expiration dates, Sarah says, "Many end because of a lack of honesty and communication about what is happening in the friendship itself. We put so much work into building a healthy family or romantic relationships but forget that friendships need time and attention too. When friends ignore their growing issues, resentment builds. When your needs aren't being met, speak up! Ask for support and help with meeting your needs. Remember to ask your friends what support they may also need from you."
She was unvaccinated and refused to take a covid test before seeing me. My mother was terminally ill and severely immuno-compromised, so I was absolutely trying to minimise the risk of getting covid so I could still see my Mum.
She refused to take a test, twice, despite kind and calm requests and explanations, on the basis that she "didn't want to get a sinus infection." (This was in the time of nasal swabs, not mouth swabs, for covid tests. You know, those nasal swabs that are sterile and can't cause infection.)
I'm 100% sure that it wasn't about a sinus infection. It was about control. She had been annoyed because I hadn't validated her anti-vax stance in the past.
Similarly, I know she wanted more validation for her religious views, which she'd acquired in her 30s and which I didn't share. I'd told her that I was happy her faith made her happy, but I think she wanted me to truly share her beliefs. I'd also said that her sister's bisexuality was "fine with me" when she'd stated that a wedding of 2 women was "not what God wants."
I think all of those different views just threatened the way she saw the world, and how she saw herself.
Her last texts thanked me for "sharing my views" re covid and it's potential to kill my Mum, then became pseudo-concerned when I didn't reply. I read the whole situation as "I want to say whatever I want to you, but I want to still feel like a nice person, so please reply and give me that validation."
I didn't reply to her, but I still ask myself whether the mature thing to do would have been to clearly reply and state that I didn't want to stay in contact. It's taken me until now (over a year later) to see through the pain and formulate what I might have said.
We'd been friends since the first days of high school. 20+ years. In essence we just aquired very different views from each other as adults, but I can't pretend her attitude towards my Mum, and towards the horrible journey my family had to take, wasn't devastating.
Life is a bloody painful journey at times, that's for sure.
I was a bad person and they ended it for perfectly sensible reasons. I would have done the same.
I've changed, but I don't blame them for not reconsidering contact.
Recognizing your own past faults is major achievement per se. It shows psychological growth that some just cannot seem to attain.
Sarah also told Bored Panda that ending a friendship may be particularly difficult and painful because it's a loss. "A real loss of love and/or connection," she explained. "We only have rituals for mourning a loss of life, but there are more losses than solely death. Relationship losses can lead to sadness, grief, loneliness, and potentially feelings of mistrust or betrayal."
How's this for oddly specific:
Friend since 1980, was hanging out at a bar in 1992 and there was a dispute of over a $15.00 bar tab. I was in the right, but whatever - he held a grudge for years.
Ran into him in 2017 and we were both too old to care. Started to see each other now and then. 2023 and we're at this local bar for a show and got into a fight about $15.00 a ticket.
Maybe he'll call me in 2063.
I lent them $20 and then they avoided me so they didn’t have to pay me back. Worth the 20
And if you're looking for the best way to end a friendship, Sarah notes that, "Direct communication is the most helpful way to end a friendship. While we want to refrain from being cruel, avoiding hurting someone's feelings to be 'broken up with' in a friendship may be impossible. Try to be kind in telling someone that you don't want to or cannot be friends with them anymore. Give them the reasons -- don't leave them in the dark wondering what they could have done differently or why things ended. And to the extent that you can, or it's safe to do so, tell them in person or over the phone. Texting someone can lead to miscommunication or a friend feeling that they weren't 'worth enough' to be told to their face."
She joined a pyramid scheme selling butt-ugly leggings and it took over her whole life. When I finally told her it was negatively affecting our friendship, she accused me of not supporting her “business”.
Having been a life=long sucker for the MLM schemes, I can say they truly create false friendships and ruin far too many relationships and finances. They genuinely should be illegal, even though they are not, legally, pyramid schemes.
When he f****d my wife.
He had been my best friend since we were ~10. Best man at my wedding. All that.
F**k you, Bruce.
"Treat your friends with as much care as possible. Friendships often outlast romantic relationships and can sometimes be more intimate than family bonds. Let your friends know what a gift they are to you," Sarah added.
If you're looking for more wise words from Sarah, you can find her information right here, and if you are seeking a mental health professional in your area, you can find all the resources you may need at Zencare's website right here!
They s**t-shamed me and didn't support me when the guy I lost my virginity to spread my naked pics.
There was a position open in a different department. I encouraged her to apply and told her I would be applying as well. What was the worst that would happen? They tell us we don’t qualify? Up until this point, we had been best friends for 3 years. Hung out with each others families and saw each other almost every weekend.
We found out at the same time. They emailed her letting her know she didn’t meet the qualifications. I received a call shortly from HR after they sent her that email asking me which interview time worked best for me. My previous experience is what qualified me. She got mad at me that I got an interview and she didn’t. Even contacted HR to ask why I got an interview and she didn’t. She stopped talking to me the same day we were both contacted by HR for that position. She deleted me off all social media.
I tried to talk to her about it but she flat out said she no longer wanted to be friends. I didn’t get the position, made being at work very awkward for the following 4 years I stayed. She was 35 and I was 34. Grown a*s adults yet she was acting like a child.
Turns out she’s one of the those that want the best for you as long as it’s not better than her. I ended up promoting out of the department and she’s still there.
Thats an unfortunate loss of a friend but it probably was for the best
Feelings made things complicated. He knew I’d had a crush on him when we were in college, but he started to treat me like more than a friend – told me he’d want to date me if he wasn’t with his girlfriend, called me his soulmate, I was his lock screen picture on his phone, he spontaneously invited himself on my solo trip to Europe the week after he broke up with said girlfriend – and I fell for him, bigtime.
I went to therapy to talk everything out, then finally worked up the nerve to tell him how I felt. I told him I loved him and that we needed to be more than friends or we couldn’t be anything at all, because this weird in-between we’d been floating in was messing me up in the head. He told me he couldn’t reciprocate my feelings so we agreed to give each other space.
That was 4 years ago now and neither of us has reached out since that final conversation. I still miss him, but I don’t regret speaking up for myself
I found out she’d been a willing participant, and even architect of, several good people losing their jobs or being scapegoated for stuff they didn’t do. She’s a horrible person. And that was that.
I felt she only wanted me around when my life was a mess and worse then hers. Once I got a house and got engaged she distanced herself as I no longer had a purpose to her.
He kept having kids with different girls and bailing on them. Coming from a "went out for a pack of smokes" Dad myself, I just couldn't watch it anymore. Bailed after the third one. Think he's up to 6 now.
I was basically a taxi for my friends so I dumped them all.
I remember when I scraped up enough money to get a sh*tty car in my late teens. My friends suddenly couldn't walk a couple of blocks to my house. They expected me and my car to be available to them 24/7. I was stunned at the entitlement.
My former best friend got married and his “ posh” wife decided that she doesn’t want her husband to be seen with less rich people and he listened to her , the sad fact is , 3 years later her dad filed for bankruptcy and her husband ( my former friend) had to look for a new job which pays far less than all of us ( his former friends).
Every interaction was draining, and they always needed something. It should feel good to be around friends, not like a chore to keep somebody else going
People like that don’t hit us up because we are their last resort. They hit us up because we are the most convenient. It’s OK to say no.
After almost 10 years of friendship, they (M) fell in love with me (M). He was straight to my knowledge, had a girlfriend and all until a breakup.
I am straight as well, and had recently broken off a 5year relationship. He made a move, I turned him down very respectfully, 0 judgement but was not interested
Instead of accepting this, he wanted me to give it a shot. Became super toxic and I broke off all contact
Still feel like I lost a brother
She constantly kept stealing money from my purse/wallet when I went to the restroom when we were out (left it with her to “watch”). She made more money than me but thought I was some wealthy person?!? When I stopped hanging out with that group I realized just how much she had been stealing when I started having all kinds of extra money.
And you never thought about bringing your wallet with you to the bathroom?
Constantly being the butt of every joke, and then they (literally “they,” it was more than one person) always said “I’m/We’re just joking” yet they never “joked” liked that with each other. I can take a joke, but when it’s just me, that’s a red flag. That and we used to work together. As soon as I quit, hardly a peep from any of them. No calls, texts, nothing.
Because they were f*****g toxic and I was too dumb to realize it.
this is why i ended a friendship of over 20 years dude was a toxic friend it took me meeting my now bestie to realise how you supposed to feel around a friend and how they supposed to treat you the one thing i will never forget that they did was when i was going through a pretty severe bout of depression they told me unless i cheer up they would stop hanging around with me its been about 7 years since i spoke to them i dont harbour any ill feelings towards them anymore and i wish them well but i have no place in my life for them i'm a different person now
I identified an attitude of only doing plans with me if it was convenient to them, the last straw was this:
We hadn't seen each other in a while, I ran into them at campus, I said they should take a ride home with me so we could catch up while we got home (lived near each other) they said okay, and that they would leave their sibling with their car to take back home
After I waited for like an hour they just texted me that their sibling had already finished classes and that they would go home together
I had waited for them and this wasn't a favor I was doing them, it was an excuse to spend time together, so I just felt like spending time with me (even if it was for a little while) didn't matter, so I just stopped talking to them, and they never reached out
I've been wanting to text them for a while but never get to it
I wouldn’t bother texting them. They clearly have other priorities.
He burned down his house because his wife demanded a bigger house and collected the insurance money.
Then, he grew a big head about having an expensive house in the better part of town. But, I was proud of him, assuming he did it the right way.
Then while we were hanging out, drinking of course, his wife wanted to know what we were talking about. So after a while he's too loaded to type and passes me the phone, too drunk to remember what he's been saying.....and I see it.
" I did what he couldn't do, in half the time".
I see it, control my rage, toss the phone back at him, and say " I think you can handle that chief".
Then he spills his guts about burning the old house down, because he can't handle the guilt.
A few weeks go by, and I refuse to bring it up because I know how I'll handle it. He asks my advice about buying a car he wants. But she doesn't want him to have it. I tell him to get it, because...f**k it...why not.
She has a ghost app that let's her see everything on his phone, and sees me encouraging him to get the car. She goes on Facebook and posts some s****y drawn out victim type sob story about losing all respect for " a person I thought was a good man, but he encouraged my husband to go against me".
So I called her up, and let her know I never respected her, and I damn well don't respect a coward posing as a man, that commits fraud by burning a house down for the insurance money.
I loved that a*****e like a brother. F**k'em both.
I stopped being a friend at some point and started being a therapist
This was me with my roommate this past year, except we were never friends, she just started unloading on me almost immediately. Within a week or two of our first meeting, I knew every detail of her bad relationship with her parents, as well as the weird fetishes their treatment of her had caused her to develop. Plus her car constantly had something wrong with it and she needed me to drive; which of course she never bothered to inform me of with enough time to work around any other obligations I might have. And she rarely cleaned. I graduated four days ago, and I am so, so glad to finally be rid of her.
Habitual lying became too annoying and disruptive to tolerate.
Two things I can't stand and refuse to tolerate: stealing and lying, especially when there is no reason for either. Tell me the truth (nicely). I would rather hurt a bit from truth than hurt more from people's lies! If you need money (or whatever), just ask. If I can help, I will. Steal from me and I'll never trust you again. I'm all for 2nd chances in most cases and it takes A LOT for me to not be able to forgive. But those 2 things will do it every time.
They didn't respect the boundaries I had clearly presented before hand
For me it was something similar, I have a friend who would blow up at me for breaking her boundaries but she never established them so I never knew what I was doing wrong so now I have an extreme personality filter around her.
Two friends recently.
I'm still processing the s**t out of it in therapy.
One of them I met 15 years ago. She was always undermining me and I would follow her everywhere because... Well.. I didn't have much respect for myself and she weaseled her way in my life in ways that were very passionate but also very scary. I was scared of her truthfully for 10 years of those 15 years. I saw her destroy other people's belongings and art projects just because she was vengeful, petty and deeply hated herself. I knew that if I was to take my own courage and cut her out, she would have done horrible things to me, like she did with every single other person in her life. Her stories of throwing away her roommates stuff, her abuse of her exes, her suicidal threats. My last birthday I invited her, she imposed herself to sleep at my house. She had no plans to leave for home. I offered to pay her uber and to help her go back because I felt really unsafe sleeping with this psychopath in my house and she kept trying to NOT LEAVE. It's the last time she was invited to my house. She tried to win me back by getting us Hamilton musical tickets 6 hours away but the fact of having to be all alone with her in a room for two days freaked me the f**k out. I let her have my ticket (she was known to monetarily manipulate people) and I blocked her everywhere. If you're reading this, you f*****g sucked.
The other one was more heartbreaking for me, as it was way more sudden. A case of a friend with BPD (lets call her pwBPD for the sake of clarity) who would manipulate and lie all the time. I got fed up when she was always trying to emotionally manipulate me and my other friends to do things for her, lifting her etc.. pwBPD lived another city away from one of my friend at the time we were roommates and she would only do her groceries if that friend would drive her there. It got worst during covid when her new favorite person influenced a lot the worst of her dependant qualities. I brushed off her discarding of me so many times because I knew she was happier with new people but this relationship made her a f*****g child. The last few months of our friendship, pwBPD would get into arguments where she accuse we don't love her enough just because we didn't want to comply to her ridiculous comfort needs. Me and my friends are very generous to each others and bent backward way more than she ever lifted a finger in her life. She got mad one time because we didn't want to pass by the grocery store to get her milk. She lived 5 minutes by walk from a conveniance store. She whined to me that because she hit her head on a counter, she couldn't take the bus and thus we had to drive her if we wanted her there. When we refused to drive 40 minutes, she made us feel bad. When we helped her move into her new appartment, she would only lift little things because she was so -frail- and -fragile- while her mom was puking everywhere on the floor because she had a heatstroke how much she was working. Helping her mom made me realise everyone around her was just bending to pwBPD's princess needs. She made me feel bad for not complying to her ALL THE TIME in retrospective.
When me and my other friend from the other town finally told her we couldn't sustain this kind of relationship and blocked pwBPD from our life, my friend from the other town told me a very chilling story concerning me. When they were hanging out a couple of years prior, my grand father had died the day before and I was feeling bummed out at home. My friend from the other town asked me if I wanted to come shopping with them to feel a bit better, pwBPD tried to stop her and told her I would ruin the mood and be a bore. That anecdote kind of sealed the deal of no return for me. She wanted us to be the adults in her very childlike life and offer us a pile of s**t in return. I have a life to make and no friends to parent.
I'm angry making this post but I think I had to let it out.
Cheers!
EDIT: Can I also add that she wanted me to book a week end during her MONTH of moving to another province because she was moving her stuff and didn't want to rent a truck? My fawning people pleasing a*s said yes but I decided to cut her out of my life before that month. I'd say that was one of the small many annoying things that made me not like being around her anymore.
pwBPD might have probably used her mental health problem as an advantage to get what she wants. The first girl might have just been toxic and abusive. I honestly hate both, even though they are girls.
During the pandemic, I got extremely sick, went through a horrible divorce and lost my job. Tried to kill myself after no one even came to my house or tried to help in anyway. I could barely walk at this point from a severe untreated, undiagnosed autoimmune disorder.
Starting over now, treated for my illness, employed and doing much better, but I still cannot get over the resentment that my friends and family just weren't there for me at all.
Honestly I started having boundaries and holding myself to a higher level of respect. I don’t have time anymore to be chasing friends when they never reach out. Or if I reach out and say “hey anything planned this weekend?” And they respond 2 months later. Or if they do respond, they just say something like “busy”. Telling myself I deserve better and if people want to be friends, it’s a 2 way relationship.
he didnt trust me that i was literally just platonic friends with his gf because i had recently come out as bisexual so he instantly got major defensive and destroyed our friendship over it 😭
Logical friend started a relationship with a cult member and ended up marrying her. He became part of her cult and denounced violence on TV ("we should not be glorifying violence and murder depictions"), became antivax, and started spreading fake news about our health and environment.
We used to play chess together after school hours and he'd beat me 9/10 times. We also used to hang out during the summer and go to his rest house in some mountain region. He finished top 5 in our class and became a double-degree holder for a popular engineering school in the country.
He was every bit smarter than I was, but the allure of that cult wiped all of that away. I'm not even sure what the cult was as I argued with him one time and I just blocked him after he started using "I believe" arguments instead of using data.
It started with a simple argument over D&D , but then it got bigger and bigger and pretty soon we were just blowing up and venting all the pent-up nonsense we had been hiding.
The next day, after we regrouped, we finally admitted to each other that we hadn't wanted to be friends for awhile, and parted on a bitter note.
I got tired of feeling like I had to walk on eggshells around him. He always felt like he was above me and he treated me as a lesser person. He felt like he had the right to micromanage my life. He'd get upset if I did or say things that he didn't approve of (which basically just meant if it wasn't something he'd do or say). He set rules and expectations for everyone else but we were all just supposed to be okay with it when he didn't follow them himself. Pretty much every time our friend group would hang out he'd end up yelling at me for something or other. It got to the point where if I was supposed to hang out with him I'd get panic attacks. I was always relieved whenever he'd end up not showing up, even though we'd waste an hour or 2 trying and failing to contact him.
He even stalked *all* of my social media accounts. He would monitor them for any actively, and if I made any post or comment, he'd immediately be there making stupid, unfunny "jokes" at my expense. He even did that on an old reddit account. He shared everything I did with everyone which included things I wasn't comfortable sharing irl. I ended up nuking that account entirely.
During one of his verbal tirades at me I got tired of it and argued back. A few hours later he apologized (which was the first time he'd ever done that in 7 years of friendship) I had had enough. I just decided to slowly withdraw myself from that friend group and stopped talking to him. I've been forced to apologize to him even though he was in the wrong, so directly telling him that I no longer wanted to be friends would've just caused drawn out drama that I didn't have the patience for at that point.
I still talk to everyone else in that friend group
Came to my city to visit, she stayed at my place. A few days in we were supposed to go to a museum and she told me she wanted to go alone because she was bothered by me for some reason. Mainly it came down to her being annoyed that I wanted to catch up with her while we saw the city together…. I being hurt took some time to suss out my feelings and then brought it up with her and she didn’t see how what she said was hurtful. She went back to her city and a week later asked me to venmo her $25 for some drinks we had gotten on a night out. For reference she stayed at my apt for several days, I got groceries/materials for her stay, and treated her to dinner one night. I never responded. Good riddance.
It's insane to me how many times I've read/heard of people asking their "friends" to pay back something after a disagreement. Especially in situations like this one where she stayed with the friend and willing went to dinner. The nerve and entitlement of people makes me grateful I don't have friends.
They fell down a rabbit hole and wanted to talk about politics all the time. I asked them to stop but they didn't so I cut them off.
She had such a toxic lifestyle while I lead a calm drama free lifestyle and she would block me every time she told me something she’s going through and would ask about me and I wouldn’t have a similar situation.
We finished high school and it felt she was still there with the constant problems she was in. Growing up I knew our friendship wouldn’t go anywhere because how much of a jealous person she was.
Another friendship fizzled out because she would always trauma dump on me and every time I was in her state I would ask to hang out and even offer transportation and kid friendly activities (4 kids all at the age of 20) and she would say yes and never hit me up and then give me excuses so I told her I was no longer interested in having a friendship with someone who only wanted to keep me around to complain to.
I wish them both well honestly.
Well, I’ll keep this short and sweet, I hope.
The friend was generally really mean and would exclude me in everything, steal my food, tell me to wait for her and leave me alone for a few hours, and try to take all my friends away. She was the first friend I had ever made, so it was hard to just end the 6 year friendship (I know that sounds short- It was primary school ok.)
Anyways, she also liked to steal my things, and when I borrowed something from her and then gave it back to her, she accused me of never giving it back, for two years straight.
She was moving away and she gave all my friends little gifts, for me she had just gifted all the things she stole back to me. I was just confused as hell.
I guess the answer to this for me would just be: moving away.
(Why did this end up turning into a rant- I’m sorry if this is something entirely different to what op asked :p )
The disrespect of my personal space. It was a apparently a federal crime to get in their personal space but my personal space didn’t exist.
She was a major f*****g homewrecker. I used to turn a blind eye but it just got worse. She was always narcissistic but it was getting to be too much to handle. On top of her terrible anxiety from always looking behind her back since she was paranoid all the time from being the mistress. Proceeds to stalk wives, families, and her exes. She was constantly making drama for herself. After I got married myself she got even MORE worse because I wasn't making her a priority over my husband. She was being particularly b****y one day, we got in a huge argument. I'm glad that now she's just an insane crazy story i get to tell people lmao.
She started drinking from the “I’m black and can’t be racist” koolaid and began treating everyone else like s**t.
We were friends in high school and when I went to college she was one of the few who went to the same college as me and we had a class together.
She wouldn’t stop talking s**t about my girlfriend who I had got together with in Year 10 of high school.
One day, one b****y comment too many and I actively said I don’t think we can be friends anymore.
Haven’t spoken ever since.
Kept trying to f**k my sister
How is that not her business? Unless she asked for intervention, mind your own.
I struggled with alcohol dependence and proceeded to blow up the best friend group I've had. I'm alone now.
We were playing scrabble and she tried to put "jetsfly" down as a word. Also last conversation we had, she started crying because I told her I got a booster. Lol she was dumb as dumb gets.
I couldn’t deal with their spiraling mental health issues.
We were very tight and I thought we would be lifelong friends. About two years before I bounced they got very sick and it impacted their ability to make good choices for themselves. It also made them belligerent and angry. There were days I would pick up the phone and they’d already be screaming about something. No hello or anything, just screaming. They stopped getting my jokes. One day they were telling me about yet another interaction where they were “disrespected” and something just kind of snapped.
I said I was totally unplugging and would be unavailable for a few months, then just never reached out again.
I feel guilty because I know it was out of their control, but I was literally feeling such intense anxiety whenever they rang and it was time to put myself first.
It’s difficult when someone puts all their failings on others when the truth of the matter is that much of it is down to their own s****y attitudes and behaviour. One ex-friend became unstickable for this very reason. I just got tired of hearing angry tirade after tirade about their perceived injustices when it was clear it was their own fault.
I asked her to pray for me for a situation. Her response was to tell me that I only contact her when I need something from her. Previous month I asked if she wanted to get coffee to catch up and she declined saying that she’s very busy snd to just contact her when I need something urgent.
Friendship was dying, she was the type to show up 30 minutes late without apology and then get prissy if you already ordered your food.
Found out that basically all her friends dumped her after a few years after finding her exhausting, and that she would talk s**t behind everyone’s back
Years of emotional abuse, her using me, being jealous of me and trying to control who I talk to/hang out with, always had something negative to say about who I dated and my other friends.. she burned so many bridges I had with other people until it was just her in my life, realised it a bit too late but felt a huge weight off my shoulder when I cut her off!
She got into h****n while I got into a master's program. It broke my heart. I would have done everything for that person, but she kept stealing from me. I had to let her go. I blocked her from everything, but I still look her up to make sure she's not dead.
I realised they were actually a horrible person, Haha
well, a manipulative liar, at least
My friend had a girlfriend who adored him and had given up everything for him - both career and family. While she was out of town, he wanted me to help him cheat on her. When I refused, he cut me out of his life and told his girlfriend and our other friends vicious lies about me to justify the break. I could have told her the truth, but I couldn't dump that much pain on her.
I got ghosted by two of them for standing up for myself after being ignored. And the other two pushed me away by just acting like passive aggressive bullies and generally just being a******s towards me
She declaired that i was her best friend then would find opportunities to isolate me and tell me i was a disappointment
I don't know what the reason is, but it usually happens in 3 phases:
- They stop making plans involving me, when I want to be a part I need to be the one making the plan.
- They start making excuses so they can avoid me
- They ghost me
A violent hate crime fuelled by alcoholism. Poor guy was a drunk at 19 and I just couldn’t help him or keep getting involved in his b******t.
He’s in prison now.
They had kids and made being a “parent” their whole personality and identity. We could not hold a meaningful conversation without it being about their kids, child rearing, or parenting.
We lived a few hours apart and this friend was never that responsive to begin with. I have better friends now and started a relationship, and eventually moved across country. Combining all those factors and oops, we haven't kept touch in years. I guess I would still consider them a friend, we're still on good terms, but we simply haven't spoken in a long time and I no longer go out of my way to try to keep up with their life.
She started mocking my native language and calling it ugly. I don't care what it sounds to you, I too have languages that I prefer over others. But under no circumstances are you to EVER mock another person's language or culture. Not on my watch.
I was in a nasty car accident that tore the whole rear end of the car off, and needed a few days to myself to decompress because my anxiety was at its absolute worst (it was before I was medicated). She acted like it was the worst thing ever and blocked me on everything because I didn't sign on to say hi--even though I told her I needed time to myself.
We were basically sisters. I literally held her father's hand while he was dying. We have been best friends since high school. In 15 years our lives separated because of moving and such but we were still always in contact. The first odd thing was that she forgot I was the first person she came out to (she told me she is a lesbian). I was so happy for her cause she's been unhappy not having a special someone and now she can finally find one. Then, as my now ex-fiance was emotionally abusing me (which I confided in her about), she decides to accuse me of all kinds of things, throwing the abuse in my face, and never admitted when she was wrong after I was able to prove her inaccuracies. This happened after going to a festival together and I realized she was just like as she was in high school ... she was mid 30s and she hadn't matured one bit. I figured we would just kind of drift apart until she did that. She projected a lot of insecurities and it was just sad.
My best friend of over 15 years was like a sister to me... until she slept with my husband. She was married, too, and had a small child. I divorced him and never talked to her again. Her betrayal hurt worse than his. I still think about her, though, and I hope she's worked through her issues.
I'm glad I was finally able to admit that I was largely the toxic friend. As much as I loved them, I realized the best thing I could do for people I considered my friends and people I cared about was to disappear and get out of their way. I hope life has been kind to them.
They began bullying and threatening me ....I really want to name them publicly as everyone seems to think the sun shines out their asses. They drove me to becoming suicidal, real great people. Class reunion is this summer in Ottawa....
My bestie of 30 years or more joined a church and decided she didn't need anybody but the members there and her immediate family. She didn't want to associate with me any more. She left her husband for no good reason and I didn't go along with it. So she decided to leave me out of her family I thought I was a part of.
My best friend back then decided money was more important. I came to her birthday with my dogs after I had asked her. She told me to keep them leashed but her dogs were roaming around freely. Her dog attacked mine and mine was badly injured with his eye hanging out. A friend of hers got me to the vet, it was the weekend and late so it cost me a lot of money. He had to have a second surgery to remove the eye too. I asked her to help me cover the bill since it was her dog who attacked mine, by getting our insurance involved. And she didn't want to because then she'd have to pay a couple bucks more a month to the insurance. I still filed a claim because she was in the wrong but she lied to the insurance company. She told them that I hadn't asked her to bring my dogs, making me the one in the wrong. I had to loan money from someone to pay for the vet bills and our friendship was over. We lived near and saw each other daily before, and yet that didn't matter.
I (F) had been friends with her since 3rd grade, but in my 20s I finally realized that she was nothing but a shallow, self-centered snob. The last time we spoke, both she & her dad (who I considered a 2nd father) seemed annoyed or bothered by my phone call - I could almost hear their eyes rolling. Never contacted either of them ever again.
I came out to my best friend of 27 years - we'd known each other since birth. Her exact words were " as long as you don't try it on with me." Trying to explain that just as she didn't fancy every guy, I didn't fancy every woman fell on deaf ears. Not really spoken to her since and that was 20 years ago.
I got Covid and had to call off for my last three shifts of a job I'd had for 11 years. I'd worked while sick MANY times, but hospital policy was strict about Covid (and, I was VERY sick). My "friends and colleagues" felt it was "a big f**k you" to them, and ghosted me when others got nice send offs. I found out about it a year later at a charity ball game. We are medical professionals and suddenly, I was back in Jr. High dealing with Mean Girls.
In my late teens I cut myself off from a load of "friends". I had just broken up with someone and I was really hurting. Not one of them gave a s**t. Another close friend I fell out with as I repeatedly told him to not interfere in my private life and to stop trying to set me up. He repeatedly didn't listen, got both barrels and never spoken to him since.
I loved her dearly but it got hard to deal with her drama. She couldn't stick to one job, was constantly complaining about her relationship only to never take any advice and stuck with it a lot longer than she should have. I was there for each crisis, helped whenever I could, yet the one time I needed her, when I just needed a place to stay for 2 days, she vanished. The only time in the past 3 years she reached out to me and she admitted she was drinking. I'm too old for this.
my mom's been ghosted by very close friends twice in her life, and she has no idea why either of them cut contact so abruptly. one of them she thinks might have been that the friend scolded me (i was under the age of four at the time) and my mom was like "please don't scold my child, let me do that if it's needed", but that would be a very minor thing to totally cut someone out of your life over.
My best friend took my phone (when you didn’t have a password) took all the guys numbers from it. Then reached out to them and asked if they would join her and I somewhere. Once they arrived she would say I had to cancel last minute. She would throw herself at them. She was secretly jealous of my relationships (friends and boyfriends) with guys and wanted them to like her more. I had no idea until one friend reached out and told me what she was doing at the same time another friend catch her cheating with my current boyfriend. She would also blame my for all her bad choices to her family. She would buy $400 purses even though she was supposed to paying for her tuition for college (she had scholarships too). Then say I told her to do it. I made her go out to eat and go shopping. Her mother screamed at me one day right before I found out about the guys. I looked at her like she was insane. I kept trying to tell her, your daughter makes the decisions. She didn’t believe me.
My husband and I have turned this the other way round, we've figured out that how to lose so called friends is to invite them for over for a holiday, have an absolute blast and wave them goodbye forever at the airport. We have an amazing life in the Mediterranean and figure they are jealous of what we have ... bye bye then .. tooodle ooo !
Close friends for years. Travelled together regularly & she stayed at my place in another city at least once a year. We were at opposite ends on politics, but could talk about it w/o fighting. Hell, I was her medical proxy over family! Then I moved to her city & stayed w/her temporarily. Suddenly everything I did or say was an insult. If I cleaned the microwave after cooking something, it meant I was calling her dirty. That kind of deal. When she started saying I wanted her dead, I rushed my way out. A few months later she made a half-hearted attempt at friendship again, but immediately ghosted me. No clue WTF happened, but as the old Spanish saying goes, "better alone than in bad company".
When she was in trouble she would call me to hangout and spill her guts. It was only when she needed a shoulder to cry on that she contacted me. When I was about to marry a foreigner and the love of my life., she went behind my back laughing about it.
Oh if I saw this sooner. Had a coworker that would show up high on meth. Intoxicated from drinking. Got arrested for dv. While intoxicated. Can't say where I worked but let's just say, all those were big issues. And she didn't even know how to actually do her job. Never got fired because she was friends with the boss.
She started mocking my native language and calling it ugly. I don't care what it sounds to you, I too have languages that I prefer over others. But under no circumstances are you to EVER mock another person's language or culture. Not on my watch.
I was in a nasty car accident that tore the whole rear end of the car off, and needed a few days to myself to decompress because my anxiety was at its absolute worst (it was before I was medicated). She acted like it was the worst thing ever and blocked me on everything because I didn't sign on to say hi--even though I told her I needed time to myself.
We were basically sisters. I literally held her father's hand while he was dying. We have been best friends since high school. In 15 years our lives separated because of moving and such but we were still always in contact. The first odd thing was that she forgot I was the first person she came out to (she told me she is a lesbian). I was so happy for her cause she's been unhappy not having a special someone and now she can finally find one. Then, as my now ex-fiance was emotionally abusing me (which I confided in her about), she decides to accuse me of all kinds of things, throwing the abuse in my face, and never admitted when she was wrong after I was able to prove her inaccuracies. This happened after going to a festival together and I realized she was just like as she was in high school ... she was mid 30s and she hadn't matured one bit. I figured we would just kind of drift apart until she did that. She projected a lot of insecurities and it was just sad.
My best friend of over 15 years was like a sister to me... until she slept with my husband. She was married, too, and had a small child. I divorced him and never talked to her again. Her betrayal hurt worse than his. I still think about her, though, and I hope she's worked through her issues.
I'm glad I was finally able to admit that I was largely the toxic friend. As much as I loved them, I realized the best thing I could do for people I considered my friends and people I cared about was to disappear and get out of their way. I hope life has been kind to them.
They began bullying and threatening me ....I really want to name them publicly as everyone seems to think the sun shines out their asses. They drove me to becoming suicidal, real great people. Class reunion is this summer in Ottawa....
My bestie of 30 years or more joined a church and decided she didn't need anybody but the members there and her immediate family. She didn't want to associate with me any more. She left her husband for no good reason and I didn't go along with it. So she decided to leave me out of her family I thought I was a part of.
My best friend back then decided money was more important. I came to her birthday with my dogs after I had asked her. She told me to keep them leashed but her dogs were roaming around freely. Her dog attacked mine and mine was badly injured with his eye hanging out. A friend of hers got me to the vet, it was the weekend and late so it cost me a lot of money. He had to have a second surgery to remove the eye too. I asked her to help me cover the bill since it was her dog who attacked mine, by getting our insurance involved. And she didn't want to because then she'd have to pay a couple bucks more a month to the insurance. I still filed a claim because she was in the wrong but she lied to the insurance company. She told them that I hadn't asked her to bring my dogs, making me the one in the wrong. I had to loan money from someone to pay for the vet bills and our friendship was over. We lived near and saw each other daily before, and yet that didn't matter.
I (F) had been friends with her since 3rd grade, but in my 20s I finally realized that she was nothing but a shallow, self-centered snob. The last time we spoke, both she & her dad (who I considered a 2nd father) seemed annoyed or bothered by my phone call - I could almost hear their eyes rolling. Never contacted either of them ever again.
I came out to my best friend of 27 years - we'd known each other since birth. Her exact words were " as long as you don't try it on with me." Trying to explain that just as she didn't fancy every guy, I didn't fancy every woman fell on deaf ears. Not really spoken to her since and that was 20 years ago.
I got Covid and had to call off for my last three shifts of a job I'd had for 11 years. I'd worked while sick MANY times, but hospital policy was strict about Covid (and, I was VERY sick). My "friends and colleagues" felt it was "a big f**k you" to them, and ghosted me when others got nice send offs. I found out about it a year later at a charity ball game. We are medical professionals and suddenly, I was back in Jr. High dealing with Mean Girls.
In my late teens I cut myself off from a load of "friends". I had just broken up with someone and I was really hurting. Not one of them gave a s**t. Another close friend I fell out with as I repeatedly told him to not interfere in my private life and to stop trying to set me up. He repeatedly didn't listen, got both barrels and never spoken to him since.
I loved her dearly but it got hard to deal with her drama. She couldn't stick to one job, was constantly complaining about her relationship only to never take any advice and stuck with it a lot longer than she should have. I was there for each crisis, helped whenever I could, yet the one time I needed her, when I just needed a place to stay for 2 days, she vanished. The only time in the past 3 years she reached out to me and she admitted she was drinking. I'm too old for this.
my mom's been ghosted by very close friends twice in her life, and she has no idea why either of them cut contact so abruptly. one of them she thinks might have been that the friend scolded me (i was under the age of four at the time) and my mom was like "please don't scold my child, let me do that if it's needed", but that would be a very minor thing to totally cut someone out of your life over.
My best friend took my phone (when you didn’t have a password) took all the guys numbers from it. Then reached out to them and asked if they would join her and I somewhere. Once they arrived she would say I had to cancel last minute. She would throw herself at them. She was secretly jealous of my relationships (friends and boyfriends) with guys and wanted them to like her more. I had no idea until one friend reached out and told me what she was doing at the same time another friend catch her cheating with my current boyfriend. She would also blame my for all her bad choices to her family. She would buy $400 purses even though she was supposed to paying for her tuition for college (she had scholarships too). Then say I told her to do it. I made her go out to eat and go shopping. Her mother screamed at me one day right before I found out about the guys. I looked at her like she was insane. I kept trying to tell her, your daughter makes the decisions. She didn’t believe me.
My husband and I have turned this the other way round, we've figured out that how to lose so called friends is to invite them for over for a holiday, have an absolute blast and wave them goodbye forever at the airport. We have an amazing life in the Mediterranean and figure they are jealous of what we have ... bye bye then .. tooodle ooo !
Close friends for years. Travelled together regularly & she stayed at my place in another city at least once a year. We were at opposite ends on politics, but could talk about it w/o fighting. Hell, I was her medical proxy over family! Then I moved to her city & stayed w/her temporarily. Suddenly everything I did or say was an insult. If I cleaned the microwave after cooking something, it meant I was calling her dirty. That kind of deal. When she started saying I wanted her dead, I rushed my way out. A few months later she made a half-hearted attempt at friendship again, but immediately ghosted me. No clue WTF happened, but as the old Spanish saying goes, "better alone than in bad company".
When she was in trouble she would call me to hangout and spill her guts. It was only when she needed a shoulder to cry on that she contacted me. When I was about to marry a foreigner and the love of my life., she went behind my back laughing about it.
Oh if I saw this sooner. Had a coworker that would show up high on meth. Intoxicated from drinking. Got arrested for dv. While intoxicated. Can't say where I worked but let's just say, all those were big issues. And she didn't even know how to actually do her job. Never got fired because she was friends with the boss.
