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No matter how smart or educated you (think you) are, you will make some mistakes and say something dumb at some point. We all have knowledge gaps, brain farts, and mess up from time to time! That being said, some verbal fails are far worse than others.
Internet user u/Far-Bumblebee-1756 sparked an interesting discussion on AskReddit after asking everyone to share the dumbest things that they’ve ever heard someone say to them. Hold on to your hats because the secondhand embarrassment is legendary. Scroll down for a good laugh and to lose a bit of your (remaining) faith in humanity.
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#1
An ex of mine was feeling frisky but I was on my period. He asked why I didn’t just push out all the blood so we could get busy. I said “…what?”
Him: “Just bear down and push it out like you do when you pee. Women can do that.”
Me: “…no, we can’t. That’s not a thing.”
Him: “If you can do it when you pee, you can do it to get rid of your period. Women just use it as an excuse not to have s*x.”
I was so stunned I asked him to leave and broke it off with him the next day. Unbelievable.
Snazzy Smurf 9 months ago (edited)
Too many people who have no idea regarding a woman's physiology like to act authoritative instead of listening and learning from those with a clue.
RELATED:
#2
I am a veterinarian. My cousin is a child psychologist. Her literal words were "You just don't know what its like when your patient can't tell you what is wrong".
Howl's sleeping castle 9 months ago
Once my cat was screaming at my husband and I heard him replying 'i can't understand you. Learn to enunciate'
#3
I had a friend who got pregnant young (16 ish), and she was sobbing because she found out her boyfriend was cheating on her around the time they conceived. She was afraid she was carrying another womans baby. That was an odd one to explain to her.
Snazzy Smurf 9 months ago
Bless her heart. This is why Biology and s*x education should be thoroughly taught in schools.
In this day and age, with so many people in developed and developing nations having access to the internet, it’s easier than ever to learn new things, brush up on the topics you’re fairly weak at, and stay up-to-date with the latest news. There are also lots of internet resources and courses—both paid and completely free—available online, alongside tutorials, how-to’s, and guides. In other words, increasing your knowledge is mostly a question of drive and motivation, not of access to information.
Statista reports that as of February 2025, there were a whopping 5.56 billion internet users worldwide. That’s over two-thirds of the global population (67.9%) that has access to the internet. Meanwhile, the vast majority of internet users are also social media users (5.24 billion out of 5.56 billion).
#4
After giving a coworker an aspirin after some time she came to me and said the medicine was useless the pain went away on its own.
#5
I was at a register and the cashier was flirting with me, he asked me where I’m from? and I said England, then he said ‘oh what language do they speak there? And I replied English, the guy behind me in the queue started busting out laughing.
#6
I was once asked by someone when they learned I was raised atheist "but, if you never read the Bible, what's preventing you to m*rder and r*pe people ? You must not know what is right and what is wrong !". They were genuinely amazed when I answered empathy, as if I've given them a truly goofy answer that somehow fits the bill.
Space Invader 9 months ago (edited)
Pick up a knife, look at it thoughtfully and mumble "You know, now that you mention it ..."
Among the countries with the highest level of internet access, you’ll find Norway, the Netherlands, and Saudi Arabia. There, a jaw-dropping 99% of the population had internet access as of April 2024. On the complete opposite side of the scale is North Korea, with virtually no internet access among the general population.
Globally, Asia leads with the number of internet users (2.93 billion), followed by Europe (750 million users). Despite such widespread internet access, country income levels are, nonetheless, an essential factor. Around 93% of the population of high-income countries have access to the internet versus just 27% in low-income nations.
#7
I worked in a bank and someone was trying to cash a check for their grandfather who was “in the hospital”. I told him we couldn’t cash it without the grandfather there as the check was only made out to him and he picks up a dog and says “I have his permission to cash the check. See, this is his dog!” I was at a loss for words. I tried to keep a straight face while telling him that a dog was not a form of ID.
#8
Someone asked me: "what do you do with your glasses at night? Isn't it difficult to sleep with glasses on?"
I told her I take my glasses off at night, and she seemed genuinely surprised that was an option. I'm surprised she didn't ask me if I can see my dreams without glasses on.
#9
"If you don't agree with my political opinion you shouldn't be allowed to vote"
umm...what?
A good rule of thumb when you don’t know something is to admit to it and ask someone else to explain the topic to you. Either that or politely stay quiet. It’s basic humility. When you’re forced to suddenly have an opinion on something when you literally don’t know the first thing about the topic, you might come up with a stance that has barely anything to do with objective reality. Furthermore, you might end up sticking to that erroneous opinion even later when faced with facts.
What’s more, it’s arrogant to claim you know something that you don’t. It could be quite embarrassing when other people realize that you’ve been bluffing. So, honesty is the best policy. In the meantime, you can brush up on the topics you’re ignorant about by doing some basic research and cross-referencing reputable sources.
#10
"Cheeseburger without cheese, without pickles, without onions, without ketchup, without mustard"
"Okay, so a plain hamburger?"
"NO I F*****G SAID _____"
Told them they ordered a plain hamburger and they could save money. I was informed that I was, in fact, stupid as s**t and they ordered cheeseburger________
So they got rung up cheeseburger without these and I never tried to help someone out in fast food again.
#11
I knew a girl in highschool who said she wanted to learn Spanish because "it's like English but a different language".
I think about this more often than I want to.
#12
"How can climate change be real when it's snowing?"
-US Congressman.
Snorkeldorf 9 months ago
The term global warming confused that congressman. It should've been called "Frightening, unnatural, climate kiss-of-death." Or, F.*.C.K.'d for short.
What are the dumbest things you’ve ever heard someone say to you, dear Pandas? How did you react and what was the first thing that went through your mind?
On the other hand, what’s the silliest, most derpy, ignorant thing you’ve (accidentally) let slip? What knowledge and skills do you think everyone should have? Let us know what you think in the comments!
#13
Maybe not the dumbest, but it’s up there. I had this ultra catholic coworker. I myself was raised catholic, but I rarely go to church and don’t consider myself very religious. A couple of years ago, a cousin of mine with special needs fell very ill and was in the hospital. My naive a*s told said catholic coworker, so she could keep him in her prayers, I said to her “he doesn’t deserve to suffer, he’s just an innocent child” to which she replied “Jesus didn’t deserve to suffer in the cross either” with this smirk on her face. My jaw dropped on the floor. I’ve f*****g hated her ever since.
Thankfully my cousin recovered and is doing well.
Deta Rossiter 9 months ago
i have a friend that said to me, people who start any conversation with "I AM A CHRISTIAN", are politely shown the door
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David 9 months ago
while I am Jewish, I literally thought Jesus suffering was necessary as a key theological element in Christianity, and he chose it?
Dar Mal 9 months ago
Uber-Christian secretary told me when I was upset my dog suddenly died the previous afternoon: "I don't see why you're upset--dogs don't have souls."
nicholas nolan 9 months ago
A Catholic woman would have the Rosary out of her purse working on her third Ave Maria by the time you got out "keep him in y-". This lady is just an a*****e.
Meagan Glaser 9 months ago
Right?!?! Asking a devoted catholic to pray for someone is like telling an italian grandmother you're hungry, this is the action they LIVE for
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Michael Largey 9 months ago
Jesus had some choice about it. His Dad had a certain amount of influence, reportedly.
UKGrandad 9 months ago
Not really, no. It was God sacrificing himself to himself for the sins that humans wouldn't have committed had God not created sin.
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SmooshieFries 9 months ago
Had something similar happen- whenever I see this hag, ugh, I just wanna slap her upside her stupid head
Bec 9 months ago
Some holier than thou types believe any illness or misfortune must be due to that person's sins. Far from Jesus-like teachings. Mother Theresa didn't care to actually spend $ on treating people either, her mission was only to convert them to Christianity so they'd get to heaven
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Sam 9 months ago
my wife works for a major Catholic University. Contrary to popular belief, not a festival of pedophilia. And the priests and nuns are, in the real world, actual super cool and nice people, who spend their entire time helping other folks. Very different from the popular spin in the media. And by super cool, I definitely mean very very tolerant. Not joking, the school's radio station is mostly metal and it is one of the top college radio stations in the country. And the school is proud of them.
Ruth Kilpatrick 5 months ago (edited)
Like the Senator, who after being told people would dxe without Medicaid, said, "We're all going to dxe."
Neopet22 9 months ago
I'm not religious by any means but I swear,people like this give religious people a bad name. I was once sitting down with this woman to set up a date for my knowledge driving test. I was trying to find my Id or something in my bag and said out of frustration "oh Jesus Christ". I always say,it's ingrained in my brain but obviously if someone is offended by it,I will do my best to not do that. The lady gives me this disgusted look and says "don't you ever talk like that in front of me" or something to that extent. I just said sorry but it's like,lady I don't know you! I have no clue what you find offensive
Roshan Kassan 9 months ago
I asked a minister once why they didn't do faith healing in hospitals where SOME people were dying to live. The sanctimonious prick told me that they couldn't because those people probably didn't believe and/or weren't of the same denomination. I never felt such a strong urge to knock someone out in life before.
Crystalwitch60 9 months ago
Eugh again religion needs banning ! n again I will repeat lol the bible IS THE BIGGEST WORK OF FICTION EVER WRITTEN !!
Robert Beveridge 9 months ago
I read this as "ultra catatonic coworker" and spent half of this trying to figure out which of my former colleagues wrote it.
#14
A woman asked me if I was ___ (I don't remember the name) and I said no.
She said oh you look like him. He was a Buddhist monk i met when I was traveling, but he died.
*but he died*
Yeah that's me, the dead guy... she wasn't joking lol.
Pink kitty 9 months ago
When I was at school there was a girl in my class called Amanda. A new teacher upon discovering the girl's name was Amanda asked her if she had a sister called Amanda. The girl straight away replied sarcastically "yeah, my mother liked the name so much she called both of us Amanda"
#15
Once I had a friend who bet me $20 that a stop sign had six sides. Then three months later we were reminiscing and he remembered it wrong, bet another $20 that a stop sign had six sides, and lost again.
#16
I once got accepted for a job (US Army!) that required paper docs in triplicate to be submitted for Direct Deposit.
I emailed back one .pdf file of the document.
HR demanded I send 2 more .pdf copies.
#17
Was reading the Diary of Anne Frank in middle school, aloud as a class over the course of a few weeks. When we got to the part where they celebrate Hanukkah, one of my classmates blurted out, "Wait, are they Jewish?".
#18
I wasn't born in England, but that was where I was living when I learned to talk and until age 13.
So, here I am, an American, living in Texas, from Texas, with a British accent.
Which of course, requires explaining why I have the accent to EVERYONE I met from the age of 13 through the age of 35—when it finally faded away...mostly...it comes and goes here and there.
So, I was 23 years old, in college, and working as a delivery driver. I explained why I had the accent to my coworkers, because a guy who was born in Texas, living most of his life in Texas, having a British accent requires explaining your backstory to everyone you work with.
While standing in a Pizza Hut in the middle of Texas, a coworker asks, 'Can you say something in English?'.
I asked what he meant, and he said, 'Oh, that's right, you said it's a British accent. So can you say something in British?'.
Snazzy Smurf 9 months ago
This happens more than it should when it comes to various other English speaking countries.
#19
In an office that was low on paper: “Just put a blank page in the copier and make more.”.
#20
Years ago when I was on dating apps, a guy wanted to hook up and I declined. Then he told me I was a wh-re because I was gonna die a virgin.
A for effort? Jk! That is my favorite “insult” I have received to this day!
CrunChewy McSandybutt 9 months ago
It's interesting how they call us whóres after we refuse to have séx.
#21
After my hair grew back after chemo my mom told me never to cut my hair like that again because I look like a boy 🤦♀️.
#22
I was working retail and counting down my drawer (making sure the cash total was correct with the receipts). I came across an unbelievably shiny penny. Someone had either just gotten it from the bank or, perhaps more likely, broken it out of a set because they realized a penny is never going to be worth more than a penny in their lifetime. Anyway, I held it up to my assistant manager and remarked:
Wow. What a shiny penny.
She replied:
Oh my God! Do you think it's counterfeit?!
. . . why would anyone ever go to the trouble and expense of counterfeiting a penny? At most, for all of your labors, efforts, and investments you've got . . . a penny.
Rinso The Red 9 months ago
I remember the story of a counterfeiter that would only do dollar bills, and those badly. But he managed to use them because no one checks dollar bills, just $20 and up
#23
"Food is so expensive. Why do we even need farmers?".
WindySwede 9 months ago
"There is food in the store...!" 🤦♂️ heard that one time, but could not really tell if serious, a woupsie, or a genuine thought.
#24
"you're not a real mom if you're only going to have two kids" I was told by my mother in law a day after popping out my second child in less than a year and a half.... A woman who didn't raise any of her 6 kids and left them to man who was not even biologically father to half of them 😀.
#25
'Do you have internet over there?' I was in a chatroom (2004..) talking with a 20+ yo canadian man.
#26
Told my boss(after 3 years chasing a raise) that I either needed to be paid better or I was going to leave. He replied, "If you're just going to leave, why should we give you a raise?"
Also had a customer who thought filling one tire would somehow distribute air to all four.
#27
I’m from England and moved to America. Someone once said my English is really good and asked what they speak in England.
#28
My coworker told me, "No one ever died of cancer until seedless watermelons were invented.".
#29
Not directly to me, but overheard my former stepdad telling his daughter that phone cases really weren't necessary, you just shouldn't ever drop your phone. It's like saying you don't need airbags, just don't get into an accident.
#30
I emailed a receptionist 'a label to print out and attach to the box to return it'.
She called me because no glue was on the back when she printed it...
When I suggested tape, she was so grateful.
SmooshieFries 9 months ago
…sigh, it’s sad but true, but once in a while, I moments like this- then I laugh at myself till I pee and wonder, “ Should I go get tested for early Alzheimers?”
#31
I don't know about whether it's the dumbest but it's one that lives rent free in my head. I live in a coastal city. We have a beautiful harbour walkway with a cruise-ship terminal near by. I was sitting on a bench having a coffee near the boat docks when a couple of tourists from a cruise-ship sat down and asked me how far about sea level the city was.
I kind of paused for a moment and looked at the water and said probably about 1 to 2 feet. They were super offended by my answer and called me a smart a*s. Went on about how if I didn't know the answer, I should just say so.
These people who got off an ocean cruise at a port city thought I was putting them on when I said we were one or two feet about sea level while sitting on a bench looking out at the ocean. I don't know why but that interaction has always stuck in my head.
#32
I was talking to a coworker on a road crew about the university degree I was doing and what I could do with it (majored in religion, international studies, and Spanish). He asked “oh do you want to become a pope?” I am a woman. And not Catholic. When I pointed that out he said “oh you could become First Lady!”.
Bill Swallow 9 months ago
There are far worse curricula for a possible First Lady. Or President.
#33
How did you catch diabetes.
#34
Why do they put the deer crossing signs on such a busy road. Why can't the deer cross on like back roads.
#35
A former friend was once telling me that her sister was having a cake made for her daughter’s birthday by a bakist. I didn’t know what she meant so made a face, she said “you know, like a bakist or a bakerist”.
She meant a baker. So close.
Howl's sleeping castle 9 months ago (edited)
Has happened to me. Instead of 'organ donor' I kept saying random words like organ donist, donator and such nonsense. Not that I didn't know, I was just not able to recall it
#36
A coworker once said that hitting your head made you smarter because your brain cells would get closer together. I asked what he thought that meant about people with TBIs from accidents, and he insisted, repeatedly, that they were the smartest people..like ever.
He was certain that people in comas from brain injuries would wake up 20x smarter.
So. Yeah. Brain injuries make geniuses.
Space Invader 9 months ago
He probably hit his head repeatedly to become smart enough to reach that conclusion.
#37
I was 17 and in highschool. A classmate asks me when colour was invented. She thought that old movies were proof that everything used to be black and white.
On a school trip to a farm, same classmate also thought that the cows were born either large or mini. I had to explain to her that the tiny cows we saw were babies that would grow into larger cows.
#38
My ex’s mom came for supper for the first time to my house, I am a widow and she was asking questions about my late husband. She asked about the funeral (she’s a harmless sweet lady, didn’t really pick up on social cues but I did love her.) I mentioned he had been cremated and that his ashes and our cat’s ashes were in a cabinet. She walked over to the cabinet, looked at both urns -one decorated with cat paws and considerably smaller- and said
“Which one is your husband?”.
#39
1. "Wow, you've been to Europe? I've been to Germany, is that close to Europe?"
.
2. "My friend says I shouldn't answer this guy from Nigeria that needs financial help, that it's fake, but I think it might be true."
.
3. "I can't believe you think we really went to the Moon. You know they faked that, right?"
.
4. "if evolution is real then why do we still have monkeys?"
.
5. "I'm not getting the flu shot because I don't want to get the flu."
.
6. "COVID is just a hoax. I'm not getting no vaccine. They got microchips in them so the government can track you."
.
7. "Take the strip out of all your money. That's how the government knows how much money you got. They got scanners that check for them and they can count the money you got on you."
.
8. "What are you going to do to prepare for Y2K? You better fill your bath tub so you have drinking water, and stock up on food!".
Howl's sleeping castle 9 months ago (edited)
My cousin was very vocal about how covid is a hoax and refused to get the vaccine. Then she got it. She is alive but noone bothers discussing politics or anything serious for that matter with her anymore
#40
I recalled been asked by a friend back at high school if the moon was the reflection of the sun in the ocean. It took me like forever to process what the heck I was just asked. I didn’t even know how to respond 😂.
#41
Was watching Addams Family Values with my parents a few years ago. One of the characters mentioned rabies vaccinations for the baby. I asked if rabies vaccines were really a thing. My dad’s answer: “humans can’t get rabies.”
I sent him a TEDTalk video on rabies after that lol
Edit: I meant rabies vaccines for humans.
#42
A former employer complained that I lied about the severity of my autism because I presented so nicely at the interview and then didn't do well at my job. She's the one who went to an organization devoted to helping people with autism, to find an employee who was autistic, because she wanted to hire autistic people for her ABA therapy business.
My sister later told me that she wasn't giving enough information or instruction for *anyone* to do their job properly, neurospicy or not, so no wonder I failed in her eyes.
#43
I'll start.. I had a friend who was talking to someone from England and he asked them what month it is there.
#45
Landed at Heathrow (England). Migrated the airport, asking directions to the train station. Ordered a Starbucks coffee and pastry at the train station. Boarded the train (with all the usual maps of the stops and advertisements). About halfway to downtown, a girl in our group asks, “What language do they speak here?”.
#46
I had a professor in college who watched Pirates of the Caribbean ONE TIME and was convinced that the word “parley” meant guidelines. So instead of telling us the guidelines for her class she gave us a list of “parleys” that we were to follow in her class….
#49
When I was 17, I was talking to someone in my class and said I'd watched Hotel Rwanda the night before. She asked what it was about and I said 'the genocide in Rwanda' and tbh, I knew she wasn't great at geography so was anticipating she'd ask me where Rwanda was. She paused for a second, looked confused and then said 'what's genocide?'.
#50
I was in a LTR and we were thousands of miles apart. I thought it would be romantic to say if both look up right now we can both see the moon together. She asked if I was looking at the same moon she was.
#51
My mom died when I was a kid. I was in blood soaked PJ's because I had tried to do CPR on my mom. After the police arrive, our next door neighbor just walked into our house. He says: "You need to get dressed. You will be late to school.".
Jenny Barton 9 months ago
That seems like the neighbour having a brain blip because he was under stress too
#52
After saying my twins are a boy and a girl, I've been asked if they are identical 🙄.
#53
My watch is waterproof to 100m.
Is that depth or distance?
Pink kitty 9 months ago
Oh so they mean if they walked 100m the watch would be dry but if they walked 101m then the watch would no longer be waterproof? Lol
#54
A doctor told me I got a UTI because I exposed myself to caffeine in the last 4 months.
#55
Customer: what's the price of this purse?
Me: 6.99
Customer: oh but the price tag inside says 5.99
Me: ...then why did you ask?
Snazzy Smurf 9 months ago
I can understand that happening if there are multiple prices for the same item.
#56
Asked a friend of a friend about her siblings and she said she was “the oldest sibling so far”.
#57
A 40 yr old man told me he thought rabbits hunted and ate other animals for food.
#58
Someone I know is convinced that 11AM is the afternoon. Yes, after noon.
Moana Manana 9 months ago
LOL, back in school (Germany) we were trying to figure out how we could make sence of AM and PM. A classmate said, that's easy: AM stays for After Morning, and PM for Post Morning 🤣 I wonder if he would have been on time if he would have to use that form of time...
#60
I had a college student tell me that the moon brings us night just like the sun brings us daylight.
#61
My car had a recall released late last year. It was for the airbag module, so I made the appointment as soon as I received the notice. This would be the first time I brought the vehicle to the dealer since I bought it (I do my own maintenance), so I was also excited to see what services the manufacturer recommends for my car.
The day of my appointment comes, I go to the dealer, give them my info and keys, and sit in the waiting room. About an hour passes before I get a text; it's the dealership. They had sent me a video of their multi-point inspection, and a link to approve or deny the services they are recommending. One of them is an automatic transmission fluid change. Confused, I go to the service desk to talk to the service advisor.
SA: "Hey, did you get the text?"
Me: "I did, I'm just a little confused. One of the recommendations is an automatic transmission fluid change?"
SA: "Yes, it is recommended by [brand] that the ATF is replaced at 80k miles, you are at 84k, and we have no history on your vehicle. Have you had it done somewhere else?"
Me: "No, I haven't, because my car has a manual transmission."
SA: "..."
Me: "With that being said, please just complete my recall. Thank you."
I looked it up later, and the ATF for the automatic version of my car doesn't even have an interval, whereas the manuals do, and it's 60k. It was done by the dealer I bought the car from.
I also brought it to the only other dealership in my state for that brand to confirm that my software was indeed updated, as I was very skeeved out by the mechanic working on my car not even knowing it has a manual transmission before recommending work to be done. It wasn't.
TLDR: Dealership recommended I change the automatic transmission fluid for my manual vehicle.
#62
"If we get rid of the trees, we won't have these forest fires every year.".
#63
Shortly after my wife had a miscarriage someone said "well, you can try again".
YakFactory 9 months ago
That's just thoughtless. Yes, you can try again, but the baby you lost was also part of your family.
#64
In high school a girl asked my younger sister ( we’re 17 months apart) if I was her mom while we all waited for the bell to ring. I had my back pack on.
Lukas (he/him, it/its) 9 months ago
I was asked at age 13 if I was the mom to two of my foster siblings (14 and 9). My response was "Um, ma'am? I'm 13. He's older than me," and she immediately apologized. I also got asked once, I think I was 14 or 15, if I was my dad's wife. That was reeeealllly awkward.
#65
That the letters "MLK" arent initals of a person but rather a "shout-out" to people that love to drink MILK.
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What do you think ?
Papa 9 months ago
I was talking to a woman who was getting ready to put her house up for sale. She said the carpet needed replacing, but she was concerned about putting in new carpet and then losing a sale because someone didn't like it. I suggested she not put in the new carpet, but tell prospective buyers that she had reduced the asking price by the amount carpet would cost so they could get whatever kind they wanted. Her reply was "But what if I do that, and they buy the house, but don't get new carpet?" I was so caught off guard I didn't know how to answer. Why would she care?
Katia Plou 9 months ago (edited)
Once I was with at a restaurant with family and acquaintances when a lady I had just met asked my mom what's the age difference between my sister and me. My mom said "5" and the lady replied "Years???". Yell, duh! Like, could it be otherwise? Could we have been born 5 months apart?
Bobby Elgee 9 months ago
Buddy of mine thought all women menstrutated during the full moon and said ir was just like high tide
Rick Murray 9 months ago
Went to a restaurant with my mother. We looked quite alike, enough that most people can tell we're mother and son. Except this dingbat waitress who is making weird comments because she thinks my mother is having a fling with a younger guy. So I called the muppet over and began with "what the f'k does it matter to you who your customers are dating?" and, well, I don't really do tactful and what followed was anything but. But pleasingly cathartic, even if mom was hiding behind a napkin by the end.
Richienotsorich 9 months ago
Have a colleague who was telling me about his trip on the River Seine when he saw "that shịt version of the Statue of Liberty"! Had to explain that was the original and the French built the American version as a gift to celebrate independence from Britain. He was astonished.
Ronnie Beaton 9 months ago
Myself a a couple of friends were in the audience for the War of the Worlds Musical show. A guy in the row behind us was telling his buddy about how it was based on the novel by H.G. Wells. "Is he gonna be on stage too?" asks buddy boy. There was a pause of several seconds, then the guy answered "No. Because he died in 1946."
Donna Peluda 9 months ago
A physics teacher told me that ice couldn't go below 0C°. No matter how cold it was ice was always at 0C°
SaraCapybara 9 months ago
When I worked at a bookstore I had one woman come in and ask if we had Jane Austen's new book.
Mary Peace 9 months ago
Maybe a publisher brought out a NEW EDITION of one of Jane Austen's books. I was at college as a mature student with some young people not long out of school. We could chose our own topic for a project and I chose Jane Austen. One girl asked who she was. I missed the chance to say, "Have you seen 'Pride and Prejudice'? Mr Darcy in his wet shirt?"
Load More Replies... Papa 9 months ago
I was talking to a woman who was getting ready to put her house up for sale. She said the carpet needed replacing, but she was concerned about putting in new carpet and then losing a sale because someone didn't like it. I suggested she not put in the new carpet, but tell prospective buyers that she had reduced the asking price by the amount carpet would cost so they could get whatever kind they wanted. Her reply was "But what if I do that, and they buy the house, but don't get new carpet?" I was so caught off guard I didn't know how to answer. Why would she care?
Katia Plou 9 months ago (edited)
Once I was with at a restaurant with family and acquaintances when a lady I had just met asked my mom what's the age difference between my sister and me. My mom said "5" and the lady replied "Years???". Yell, duh! Like, could it be otherwise? Could we have been born 5 months apart?
Bobby Elgee 9 months ago
Buddy of mine thought all women menstrutated during the full moon and said ir was just like high tide
Rick Murray 9 months ago
Went to a restaurant with my mother. We looked quite alike, enough that most people can tell we're mother and son. Except this dingbat waitress who is making weird comments because she thinks my mother is having a fling with a younger guy. So I called the muppet over and began with "what the f'k does it matter to you who your customers are dating?" and, well, I don't really do tactful and what followed was anything but. But pleasingly cathartic, even if mom was hiding behind a napkin by the end.
Richienotsorich 9 months ago
Have a colleague who was telling me about his trip on the River Seine when he saw "that shịt version of the Statue of Liberty"! Had to explain that was the original and the French built the American version as a gift to celebrate independence from Britain. He was astonished.
Ronnie Beaton 9 months ago
Myself a a couple of friends were in the audience for the War of the Worlds Musical show. A guy in the row behind us was telling his buddy about how it was based on the novel by H.G. Wells. "Is he gonna be on stage too?" asks buddy boy. There was a pause of several seconds, then the guy answered "No. Because he died in 1946."
Donna Peluda 9 months ago
A physics teacher told me that ice couldn't go below 0C°. No matter how cold it was ice was always at 0C°
SaraCapybara 9 months ago
When I worked at a bookstore I had one woman come in and ask if we had Jane Austen's new book.
Mary Peace 9 months ago
Maybe a publisher brought out a NEW EDITION of one of Jane Austen's books. I was at college as a mature student with some young people not long out of school. We could chose our own topic for a project and I chose Jane Austen. One girl asked who she was. I missed the chance to say, "Have you seen 'Pride and Prejudice'? Mr Darcy in his wet shirt?"
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