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Hindsight is, reportedly, 20/20 but there are always a few things people have gone through that stuck with them. More often than not, it’s the things that weren’t done or the people who weren’t spoken to that end up haunting someone in the long run. Regrets are painful, but a part of life all of us have to face.
Someone asked “What is your biggest regret in life?” and netizens shared what was on their hearts. So get comfortable as you scroll through, upvote your favorites and be sure to comment your own thoughts and experiences below.
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#1
When I was in my late 20s, my husband and I were living in St. Paul, MN. Around dusk one late autumn day we pulled up to a convenience store and I my husband ran in to purchase something while I waited in the car. It was a chilly evening and a cold drizzle was turning into a rain storm. I noticed a girl, about 15 or 16, shivering under the building's eaves trying to avoid the now driving rain. She wasn't wearing a coat and her jeans and t-shirt were soiled and raggedy. I tried to see her more clearly through the wet windshield and it looked as though there might be bruises on one side of her face and that she was bleeding from a cut on her lip. As I watched, she started to cry. I struggled with a profound desire to help this girl and an equally strong fear of not knowing what to do. I sat rooted in my warm, dry car unable to make the decision to get out and approach her. Then my husband returned. I couldn't even articulate to him the moral impass I was in. He started the car and we proceeded on our way.
The memory of that young woman huddled against the plate glass storefront, looking utterly alone and bone-cold has haunted me for 40 years. How many evenings have I gone to bed wondering what was going on with her and what became of her? How my times have I asked myself what stopped me from getting out of the car? Perhaps I should not consider this as something to regret as it deeply affected the rest of my life. I am a much more empathetic person than I might have otherwise been and have never allowed myself to fear helping another person again. But still, I DO truly regret not going out into the rain that evening.
Id row 1 year ago
The jaded part of me was thinking it was a trap and something instinctual held this woman back from approaching her.
PolymathNecromancer 1 year ago
In reality, there is absolutely never any way to be 100% sure of absolutely anything. The only way to handle it that I know always works is to know/be-honest-with yourself enough to decide which choice will haunt you less and make it no matter what. And even this requires a background with enough of an amount of heartbreak and pain to work properly.
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Shortstuff 8 months ago
I would definitely have gone over and asked if she needed help. I actually did this when I saw a woman sitting on a park bench crying.
Suzi Orozco-Neu 9 months ago
I was at an outdoor clothing sale and saw a mentally unwell woman with her 5 year son. It was obvious she was unhinged and not treating her son well. I didn’t know what to do, did nothing and it haunted me. Recently I took in a young man who could have been that boy. He was having trouble finding motivation to accomplish pretty much anything aside from some video games and a getting high once in a while. A really good person that I sheltered for a while but it is likely he will be on the streets in a few years.
Tonya Heers 1 year ago
For me, I would pray on it and then make a decision one way or another. Basically, trust your gut feeling. Always protect yourself first and foremost. Maybe approach her with your husband and ask her if she’s OK. You can always get cops/CPS involved if needed. Time to forgive yourself. You weren’t meant to help or the decision would’ve been easy.
RELATED:
#2
My biggest regret in life is choosing a career that my parents wanted me to go into.
My parents always wanted me to be an engineer and nothing else. No engineer, no son. That was the situation at my home. As Asian parents do, my parents also were too strict with my career and didn't give me the flexibility to think what I really wanted to do. So, with no other choice I spent 4 years of my life in a degree I never wanted to do. Every day felt like an eternity in hell. You happy dad? There's a degree on your wall now which you can look at for the rest of your life so you can feel pride at dinner table conversations about how you ruined my life. I wasted 10% of my life in a career I never wanted.
Now my parents want me to get a Master's degree in the same field and opt for a government job where beauracracy prevails. No, I'm not doing it whether they like it or not. I'm switching careers.
My dad loves me, no doubts in that but I don't. I hate him because he was so blinded by his love for me being an engineer and a government officer that he ruined my childhood and my teenage years. I act like I love my parents but I don't. I'm am running two businesses now and those I also started without telling my parents. I'll me moving out soon.
Today's humiliation is better than tomorrow's regret.
Duncan McCann 1 year ago
My brother did the same - went to uni and got a degree in civil engineering, even though he hated it, it was what father wanted. He later changed career entirely and has just retired from working with young people that suffer with extreme eating disorders. He became highly regarded in his field and I'm proud of him and my sister-in-law for supporting each other as they studied to do what they really wanted with their lives. I was even more out of the box and became a professional drag queen for thirty years - my father never spoke to me again. I wouldn't change it though, I had more fun than most in my career! Letting someone else try to dictate who you are will, as far as I'm concerned, never allow you to be happy.
PolymathNecromancer 1 year ago (edited)
Aunt Annetta was a raging alcoholic most of her life, and extremely overweight. Fourteen years after she died I learnt that she wanted to be a nurse but Grandpop pushed her into accounting. Since I have a version of having felt not-ok to be me, I instantly had sadness when Aunt Pat told me this and it explained many family dynamics. The interesting thing is that Grandpop was truly a very kind man. We all are prone to deadly dichotomy if not consistently introspective & paying attention to the energies in our wake
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Id row 1 year ago
Wait, this guy has an engineering degree and also two separate businesses - and still lives with his parents? Maybe it's time to cut the cord, my dude.
PolymathNecromancer 1 year ago
He likely couldn't until he could really be who he is & enjoy his gift of life. I know this because I have my own version of dependency on others. It's actually a miracle that folks like this don't off themselves first.
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Fabulous chocolate cookie 1 year ago
I am in the same spot. My parents want me to do a job that aligns with my studies, while I completely hated that field of work and want to do something else. They won't accept no for a answer to the point that I got the ultimatum: choose the job they want or get kicked out of the house and disinherited. Especially my mother is a problem in this. She only wants to use me a some sort of tool for showing off to others as she is addicted to social validation and keeping her reputation good. So yeah now I'm already looking for my own place to live and in secret looking for a job to get away as soon as possible from them.
Tom De Paul 10 months ago
Remember, they don't get to see the grandchildren.
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Marnie 1 year ago
On a side note, I don't want the world to have engineers and software developers that don't love their jobs or don't have the aptitude, but were pushed into it by their parents (and in many cases, this encourages the students to cheat, since they don't really have the chops for it). The type of people being hired these days as software developers is alarming. It affects all of you.
Sven Grammersdorf 1 year ago
Why does he still live with his parents if he has a degree and a job?
ManuelQue 1 year ago
At the end of the article he says he'll be moving out soon. I've posted this comment twice now. Please, folks, try reading ALL of the original post.🙂
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Tommy DePaul 1 week ago
With 2 years of graduate study you can get an M.B.A. and go into finance. Or you could get an M.S.S.W. and become a therapist. With 3 years, you can become a lawyer. Firms love lawyers with engineering u-grad degrees. They can do intellectual property law or complex product liability/disaster litigation. You are not as stuck as you seem to think.
Evelien Stijger Martens 1 year ago
I hear so often that in Asian culure starus is all that counts. O even see it here with chinese freinds, the higher the better. Ooo my son don't want to studie classik languages, now he wil not be a dokter. No, he is now doïng what he wants.
#3
There's this girl. She was a smart, intelligent and caring soul. Every summer when we met, she would make sure I was the happiest person on this planet. She would talk to me for hours! She loved me and I loved her back.
Two summers back, she called me all of a sudden. She asked,"Why are you not here to see me? Come soon." I had traded my visit for an internship half way across the country, so I coolly replied,"Very soon!" She calmly said an OK, and we hung up.
Two days later, she passed away. By the time I reached, her last rites were done with. The girl was my Grandmother. I wish I had gone visiting her instead.
Luke Branwen 1 year ago
We should call it "huskle culture" instead of "hustle" because it leaves us as empty husks of human beings.
dremetrius 1 year ago
Such a stupid attempt at a 'gotcha!' that overshadows a story that would have been perfectly acceptable if just written in a straightforward manner.
Load More Replies... Kari Panda 1 year ago
I understand that OP must feel guilty, but a family member or friend could pass at any moment. You can’t reject every opportunity life gives you because something bad might happen while you‘re away.
#4
It’s a simple one that changed my life forever unfortunately. I picked up a shift at work late one night and left my kids with my ma so I could do so. It was usually papa who watched my twins, but he was sick so I asked ma. I mean that’s fine and shouldn’t be a big deal right? I left and all was good, I worked several hours, with a few checkins and no problems. I get home early the next morning to find ma passed out drunk on our couch with Patrick in tub. He had drowned while ma got drunk, and I’ll never understand why she couldn’t have waited a few minutes to start/keep drinking. I knew she was an alcoholic, but she’d gone from binging every day to just on her day off over the last several months and was doing really well with not needing alcohol to function.
She went to prison for 4 years and remained sober the last decade of her life before she died. That was her way of apologizing for Patrick’s death and accepting responsibility and blame. I was proud of her for that and though it can’t undo her actions, it made it easier to live with.
Duncan McCann 1 year ago
Well done for finding forgiveness and a way of understanding her feelings of guilt. Moving on must feel almost impossible but it seems as if you a finding a way. Best hopes for the future.
ManuelQue 1 year ago
I'm sure that woman was tormented with guilt for the rest of her life. She was alcoholic, yes, but was also a grandmother who loved her family. It's hard to imagine how she felt when she came to, sober, and was told what had happened. Yes, she was alcoholic. She was also human.
Jnk 2 months ago
I feel so bad for everyone involved! I understand the comments that are less forgiving than OP; however, I always find that forgiveness is more for your own peace of mind and heart than for the wrongdoer. But for me, forgiveness can only happen when the other person holds themself accountable for their actions. Someone did me so wrong but never acknowledged it. They're a clinical narcissist and a very toxic one to bout. I have not forgiven them, but I have moved on. I'm indiffetent to what happens to them. I wish them nothing bad, but I reserve my good wishes for people who deserve them. Could be a dear friend, could be a kind stranger. This works very well for me, and I genuinely hope OP is doing as well as possible despite both her tragic losses ⚘️
#5
Long story short, I have a skin condition that results in white patches almost all over my body . All my life ,while in school, I tried my best to hide these white patches which i thought were unpleasant looking . Not with makeup but with full sleeved clothes , hair over my forehead and all other ideas that could hide or camouflage those white spots .
With years passed, the urge to hide them has faded now . I wear whatever I wanna wear , my hair is neatly done and not over my face . in simple words , I have grown out of that dark phase when I wasn't confortable in my own skin.
Now I am 22 . I recently joined a swimming class for the first time in my life . And we know how swimming costumes are! My arms , legs and my back were quite visible in that costume . The first day when i stepped out wearing that costume , I looked for people staring at my different skin … I looked …and looked but no one seemed to be paying attention . All of them minded their own business . One girl complimented me on my costume and I have been swimming like that since that day without any kind of embarrassment or shame about my skin .
I felt relieved but something hit me hard . What about all those years of excruciating mental pain i endured in hiding my spots .
No one told me there was no need to hide them .
No one told me , there was no need to wear stockings in the month of June .
Sadly , I cant go back in time and tell my younger self all this . This is my biggest regret. Atleast . One of my biggest regret . It is a lesson I learnt late . Late like a sailor's message that arrived when the sailor had already drowned .
But , if you are reading this and if you are someone going through a similar phase or you know someone who is going through this . Stop them . take a moment to tell them how redundant and unnecessary it is to hide something that is an integral part of them .
NotToday 1 year ago
Vitiligo? I think it's beautiful and unique. I understand the want to fit in but it makes you unique and you should love yourself.
XanthippeⓐWulf🇨🇦️️🇬🇧 1 year ago
It is, isn't it! When I was small, I didn't understand what vitiligo was. There was a lovely cashier at the Tim Ho's near our house who had it, and I was so upset because I thought vitiligo was what happened when you are biracial. I was jealous because I was biracial and just one boring color lol. She was nice enough to tell me my freckles were my "color spots", but I was still a bit cheesed off until it was explained. Lord, I was such a weird kid 🙄
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Duncan McCann 1 year ago
I would think that everyone will understand the fear of looking different when you're very young. There is much, much wider knowledge of vitiligo now and hopefully less young people will have to suffer that fear and bullying. Better to learn late than never learn at all eh?
ManuelQue 1 year ago
The OP might be from England. At the turn of the last century the term "bathing costume" was common. Look up some photos of old bathing attire and you'll see why.🙂
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Sunny Day 1 year ago
I was watching a movie last month, and they referred to a light-brown-haired girl as blonde. I thought "my hair is lighter than that, and I always say it's brown" . And at 58, it dawned on me that I never called my hair "blonde" because "blonde" is considered attractive, and I've never felt attractive. It was always in the back of my mind "You can't call yourself blonde. Everyone will laugh at the thought of *you* being attractive."
Jnk 2 months ago
To be fair to your younger self: kids can be mean! As you got older, the people arpund you did as well. And for most people, we have our own struggles and insecurities, so we recognize that others might be dealing with different things than us, but feelings are similar and unpleasant. So we do our best not to make them feel any worse - hopefully help them feel better like what happened for OP. At a younger age, your peers may not have developed their sense of empathy yet. So yeah. I guess, I'm trying to say your efforts might not have been a comolete,waste, thiugh still regrettable either way. Bottom line is: you aee in a good place now, and your experience will benefit someone with whom you share them. If you have kids, or if you work with other youth, I'm sure you'll be a source of positivity for them! Maybe even older people as well. Many of us struggle with some part of our self image even as adults.
ElfVibratorGlitter 1 year ago
In middle school I wore a long sleeves coat year round because I was so embarrassed of my arms and being hairy. It seems so stupid now.
#6
I have many regrets in life, but the one that keeps me up at night has been hidden for nearly 50 years. This is the first time i have told anyone.
Mind you this is a deeply hidden memory of a time when i was a small child so its a bit foggy. How old i actually was is difficult to say but i believe it was before my 5th birthday. I had moved to Minnesota with my Mom, Sister and Step-father. I remember the apartment vaguely, more specifically the bathroom. The bathroom and the screams.
I have some memory of the girl who was babysitting us that day. She had auburn hair, thin, tall and so very pretty. She seemed grown up to me, but i am sure she wasn't much older than 15 or 16 years old. I have no idea what her name was.
My Mother was at work. She was always at work because my step father couldn't be bothered to work. We must have been playing a game. I don't remember the game, only that we were all laughing and running around the apartment, and then something changed. She wasn't laughing anymore, she looked scared. He pushed her into the bathroom and the screaming and the crying started as he r*ped her. I still hear it.
What followed was a rushed escape from the State in our orange studebaker. I can remember them talking about it as we were driving. They talked of him getting in trouble for what he had done. My mom knew and she protected him. My childs mind had no where else to go but my mother and i was scared. At that age i had no concept of what had happened that day in the bathroom. I had no idea what tortures he had inflicted upon her and those that could await me. Most of all i remember the look on her face when he let her out of that bathroom. We locked eyes and i could see her pain.
I wish i could have done something that day. I think of her often and hope that she forgives me for not being able to bring her the justice she so deserved. I am so very sorry.
ChimeraBubbles 1 year ago
This is harrowing. They were a child too and there was nothing they could have done differently. We often forget just how powerless we are/were as children.
Annie 1973 12 months ago
My mother protected her brother when he r*p* d and sodomised me when I was 8. She told me that I obviously forced him to do it to me because I was a sl ut. She told me that no cop would believe an 8 year old over 2 adults who said I made it up. That if I ever told anyone that she would ki ll me and make it look like I did it to myself. After all the physical and emotional abuse she put me through as a child I believed her and didn't say anything to anyone about it until they were both dead.
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Jehna Grobety 1 year ago
You're right, it sounds like the stepdad was a perfectly adequate caretaker /s
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#7
I was in complete shock at the sudden death of my firstborn son at the age of 22. He left behind a one year-old son who does not remember him and a pregnant wife who had a daughter who never knew him. My greatest regret is that I did not offer his organs to save the lives of others. My son was the epitome of good health When he drowned. To save time and distance to cross a creek at rock State Park, Maryland he leapt from one bolder to another, slipped on the mass of the second boulder and became jammed between the two. It was spring runoff from the mountains and the water was flowing fast and furious over his head as the boulders held him. His Very healthy organs could have saved many lives. Even though the autopsy report said death by drowning he did not drowned he died of a severe asthma attack because the water was 32° and had not frozen because it was flowing so rapidly. Even his lungs could have saved another life. I will never forgive myself for not offering his organs to others.
smugdruggler 1 year ago
This is why it's so important to discuss your wishes with your family BEFORE it becomes so emotional a decision. It's a lot easier to carry out your loved one's wishes than it is to have to make the decision for them when you're devastated by grief.
Duncan McCann 1 year ago
I'd like to just say 'don't beat yourself up' but of course it's not that simple, it never is. I hope time will be the healer for you - at least make the pain a little less. I hope you can come to see him in his children and you don't let your regret stop you enjoying watching them grow.
Kraneia The Dancing Dryad 1 year ago
Not sure where mom and son were from, but isn't that why you put organ donor on your license? So you don't have to worry about giving permission (or getting it from relatives). At least in the US anyhow. Just wondering.
Jordan Miller 1 year ago
Even in the US a lot of opos will not pursue a case if the family is not cooperative.
Load More Replies... Melissa Dowling 1 year ago
If he died in the water, it may not have been possible to donate his organs. As soon as the heart stops beating, organs begin to die (and can become damaged before death occurs as well). Typically a hospital will keep an organ donor "alive" with machines so they can harvest the organs at the best point to help keep them viable for transplant. Often if someone is not already in the hospital (either inpatient or ER) at the time of death, the organs can't be saved/donated.
Looz-ashae 1 year ago
That's a very specific regret, as if somebody put that idea into her head
Jess Barbosa 1 month ago
I'm pretty sure you can't give away the organs of your adult child. a person needs to consent to be a donor, pretty sure.
#8
I started smoking at age 11. I'm now 66 and have emphysema. It's a cruel way to die. There are so many things I can't do anymore without gasping for breath. I'm glad I have no kids or grandkids as there's no way I'd be able to spend time doing things with them.
Ashlie Ann 1 year ago
I'm in my early 40's, and started smoking when I was 15. I just quit smoking back in January of this year.
The Starsong Princess 1 year ago
My mother started at nine. Her mother would have her light them on the stove for her but this was the 1950s and everybody smoked. Weirdly, she was never really addicted and only smoked socially. She just stopped one day and said that was that. My dad on the other hand was crazy addicted and smoked three packs a day. He quit more than 40 years ago and says that it was the hardest thing he ever did.
Tom Banks 1 year ago
My dad died at 65 with this same disease. He described it as like trying to breath through a straw. He was pretty much bedridden for the last 4/5 years of his life. He lived long enough to see my eldest daughter. I have some wonderful pictures. I'm 65 now. I have never, ever smoked.
Laura 11 months ago
I started at 15, finally quit in 2015, 51 years of smoking. I have advanced COPD. I spent a bunch of time in the hospital this year. I won't live long enough to see my granddaughter graduate from high school.
Jenny 11 months ago
I've been in and out of hospital several times in the month since I last posted. My doctors want me to have a CT scan as I have lost 11lbs in weight in a very short space of time. I now weigh 7st 5lbs/103lbs/47(ish)kg. They suspect that I might have cancer.
Load More Replies... Jenny Mason 1 year ago
I started smoking at 8, I'm now 56 and have had emphysema for the last 20 years. I don't know how long I have left but I'm not end-stage yet.
Tommy DePaul 1 week ago
I know a guy who started in med school. He later became a cardiologist!
Anne Spee 9 months ago
My father started at six... Picking up budds from the streets to smoke. He died of emphysema and it was a horrible death. His last years he was on oxygen but still continued to smoke. His last days were filled with panic because his lungs were no longer able to take in oxygen. The fear in his yes was gut wrenching. He used to say: 'never mind that I will have fewer years because of smoking', but I don't think he had realized the last years would be spent gasping for every single breath ☹️.
#9
When my first son was a child, I was a law student and also the sole breadwinner in the family. So, I left him with caretakers and took off. I spent days away from him. Returning home exhausted and cuddling him briefly before passing out. He spent days planted in front of TV in his little walker, not going anywhere, not doing anything. As a result, he suffered a delay in his development that we are now working hard to undo.
My biggest regret in life is that I haven’t found a way to both provide for him and raise him.
#10
The day I did not help an accident survivor.
This happened outside of Aarey colony on Western Express Highway in Mumbai. There were these riders on highway riding like it's their last day on earth.
I was just noticing them from the signal and the rider could not control the vehicle when a bus hit the brakes. This bike straight up dashed into the bus.
The crash was so hard and straight that the bikes front part made a dent in the bus and got stuck in it like as if it's parked on the main stand.
The boys the vehicle also did not fall from the bike and that made me assume it was not a fatal accident. However, I still went over there to check on them.
As I moved closer I noticed none of them were wearing a helmet. Ahh, riding like crazy, that too without a helmet, you deserve it, I said to myself.
I reached closer and I noticed something that put me in shock. I saw the rider flat on the fuel tank and a little blood stream coming from a part of his face which I couldn't see.
Then I noticed the pillion moving, as soon as I turned to him, he was furiously shaking, more like a stroke I think. He wasn’t bleeding by then, but as soon as I reached to grab him so he doesn't fall from the bike he puked blood. He was still on the back seat but rested on his back looking at the sky.
Seeing that I immediately stopped, the people who I thought deserved it, did not. Nobody deserves that kind of pain.
I had chickened out. By now, like me there were other people gathered around them but no one was doing anything that was remotely called as help.
After a few minutes I heard a loud yet a very low pitched voice. It was a girl asking everyone to move aside. Nobody had called the ambulance. I think everyone knew the evening traffic won't allow the ambulance to reach. She too realized that.
This girl straight-up started asking car owners to take them, nobody stopped. Later she did something outrageous. She legit went and stood in the middle of the f**king highway and stopped a taxi driver and with the help of people literally forced him to take these survivors up.
To this very day I regret the fact I did not respond like I should have.
But remember, next time you see an accident, you act, you f**king act. You don't want to be me in that situation and regret later, because you are going to regret it for years.
After that, never have I ever missed helping any one, my conscience is too aware to get away with not helping.
I wrote this answer with the only intention of getting at least a single person to act if ever they happen to come across any accident.
Helen Bennett 1 year ago
"But remember, next time you see an accident, you act, you f**king act. " Ok. I will do that.
Carla Sorensen 1 year ago
You could not act. You did not have the capability at that time - because you were probably in shock and your instinct took over (fight or flight). People cannot act unless they have the training or readiness to do so. So TO EVERYONE OUT THERE - yes you CAN ACT - but you can’t wait until the bad thing happens - it is a skill you have to learn. So Do first aid, or watch videos, come up with a PLAN - very specific - and practice with your family, your dog or your teddy bears to be CALM and in CONTROL. Imagine what it will feel like. Only then you may have the capacity to act.
Jnk 2 months ago
This! And in many cases, even if your cpr skills are not perfect, they could be enough to keep the person alive until more skilled help arrives. Plus, in my first aid courses, they always say that doing harm by trying (e.g. breaking a rib) is better than not trying for fear of making it worse. Just never try to move someone unless their location could cause them the sustain even more injuries (they were in the middle of a road or something).
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#11
My friend called me 2 days before committing a s*icide, I did not attend his call neither did I call him back. It’s been 2 years since that incidence, may be I could have saved him.
I was too busy with my new job, financial independence, parties while his love for civil services left him jobless after the college and a under a lot of pressure from the society, as he could not secure a job studying in the best of engineering college.
His parents didn’t understand, his friends didn’t understand, I didn’t understand .
He spent a whole year in loneliness, in a dark corner in Karol bagh preparing for UPSC, but good days were far. He just couldn’t take the burden any more. He lost the race and quit!
I have been in touch with his family for the past two years, they are suffering a lot.
One of his sister’s is an IPS officer now after 3 failed attempts fulfilling his dreams to serve the nation.
Please I don’t want anyone judging. Please refrain from commenting no sympathies no theories. I am using Quora as a medium to lay some burden off my chest.
Anne Jones 1 year ago
This is so sad. I’m sure if OP or any of the family knew how depressed the person was they would have tried everything to help.
Marnie 1 year ago
Doubtful. Nobody believes someone is in such serious straits until they actual do themselves in, or kill themselves virtually, such as with addiction. Everybody always says after the fact, "If I had known, I would have done anything!" But that's just 20/20 hindsight. Most times, they wouldn't have actually done much.
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Barbara Deskins 1 year ago
just my opinion, but I believe he was calling to say good-bye. Nothing you could've said or done would have made a difference. My daughter had several early 20 year old friends who contacted her a day or two before. Nothing would have changed the outcome
#12
Not taking pictures.
Whenever I saw people taking pictures/selfies, I was thinking: “Oh how dumb they are, you have to enjoy the moment not take pictures”. Now I realise that I am the dumb one.
I never took my camera with me on any memorable event. Yes, I still can remember what happened but my memory is not perfect and memories do fade.
Now I want to remember how my great grandmother used to bake her special cake. How she used to watch my siblings, but I never recorded it, and she is no longer around.
I want to remember how my boyfriend and I used to feed squirrels that time we went to Bristol. But I didn’t record it, and now he is not around either. How we travelled around and explored. But all I have is memories that are fading.
See, I can’t remember how green was the grass that day in the park in Bristol, or what my great grandma was wearing. I have a vague idea but I want to see how it happened.
Now I understand why my dad records everything, but in the past I was ashamed of him taking a camera with him everywhere.
I think now its time to record my memories.
john doe 1 year ago
I don't agree, I lost all my family photos in a flood about 10 years ago, like everything childhood photos of me and my family up to my early 20s. We all were devastated and super sad, but honestly it doesn't matter I don't actually miss them the memories still exist and the photos don't matter to anyone but the people in them, we all realize we never looked at them and they are just more stuff more possessions that people "need' to have, you don't need them, you are really not Miss anything.
Broad Panda 1 year ago
A member of my family has a brain injury which wiped a lot of his memories. So I'm always keenly aware that memory can't always be relied on.
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DennyS (denzoren) 1 year ago
I barely ever take photos of myself or people. I take a lot of pictures of things but I can't remember the last time I took a photo of myself. I think it is a family thing cause we have no photos of my grandmother.
Clown fish 1 year ago
I get drunk and take selfies. Any other time I look like a mug shot.
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Sven Horlemann 1 year ago
I fully agree. I digitalized all the memorable print out pictures, and it is pure joy revisiting them. Being it childhood pics from the 70s with parents, grandparents, or the vacation times with my wife in the 90s.
Okido 7 months ago (edited)
I take lots of photos and make digital (printed) photo albums. I make one every year from birthday to birthday for my two sons. The oldes one is 18,5 and he has 18 yearbooks full of photos and the youngest is 17 and has 17 books of photos. I also make a photo book of every summer holiday. I love looking through them and so do the boys.
Gracie Mae 1 year ago
my family absolutely HATES how many pics i take. I had a business at one time & I've always been into photography. I do it to preserve the moment & bring back fond memories. I definitely enjoy the moments as they are happening, but I want to enjoy them later, too. The problem is, as a result, I am rarely IN the photos & no one else bothers to take any. i fear i will be forgotten & my grand/great-grand kids will not have pics to remember me by
DramaDoc 1 year ago
I think there's a fine line between wanting to capture a moment and living exclusively through a lens. I worry so much about those who can't separate the two--like something is only 'real' if there's a photo or video (See Baudrillard). Yes, take pictures, but also enjoy the ephemera of the experience by living it, not just viewing it through a lens.
#13
Not marrying my Girlfriend.
We were together for more than 2 years and she was the only girl i know that loved me more than anyone i have ever loved. Her love was unconditional and pure and we were so desperate to marry each other. Somehow we knew we were both perfect for each other and would be so happy together, always.
There was only one problem, the problem was me. My family is extremely orthodox and i loved my father so much that i had promised myself that i will marry a girl that he selects for me. Now don’t get me wrong, when my girlfriend and i came close, i explained this very clearly to her. We both were however so much in love with each other that we couldn’t stop and agreed that the relation would end when one of us gets married.
Unfortunately i got married first and those months were the most painful of our life.
After 8 years and a divorce later, that is the biggest regret of my life.
Duncan McCann 1 year ago
I'm going to assume that she got married also so you cannot get back together?
ZuriLovesYou 1 year ago
Maybe. Or she doesn't want to be with the OP anymore.
Load More Replies... Jnk 2 months ago
I am not a religious person. I know religious people who benefit from their beliefs in the sense it helps them deal with hardships and makes them do acts of kindness. I also do acts of kindness without the fear of God, mind you :) anyways, I don't wanna be judgemental, I just simply don't understand: if the father loved his son as much as his son loved him, WHY didn't he pick the girl who loved his son so much?? I guess the girl wasn't of the same fate, but still... I'm also not a parent myself, but I assume most parents' greatest wish is to see their children happy and surrounded by loving people? In this case, religion and the cultural consequences did not do this family any good as I read the story. I know religion isn't about picking and choosing what works the best for you. I hope their God rewards them for their sacrifice is all I can say.
Svenne O'Lotta 10 months ago
For once there's a reason that word is censored.
Load More Replies... #14
It was last semester of my college. Third exam.
My girlfriend’s Dad was severely sick and was admitted. She has this thing of intuition when something is about to go wrong, and I never took it seriously.
This time we were studying and she called me late evening to say, she is getting a strong intuition that something is wrong. I calmed her down and asked her not to worry and focus on preparation.
Couple of hours later she called again to say that she wants to go and meet Dad at that very moment. As she was already not able to study for that particular exam, I suggested to study for now and meet him next day, on the way back from exam.
Next early morning I got the bad news that her Dad is no more.
When she met me the first thing she said is she couldn’t meet Dad one last time before he left. And since then I consider myself responsible to stop her the previous day.
It was recently that I confessed this to her and she helped me move on from the regret.
#15
I made my mother’s Facebook account.
#16
My biggest regret is not inviting my son’s father to our family photo shoot. The photo shoot was a gift from my sister. I guess I didn’t want to ask because I didn’t want to deal with the logistics of getting him and the photographer in the same place at the same time. Logistics was often frustrating with him.
Little did I know that he would die that same year. I don’t have single good pic of the two of them together. It would have meant a lot to my son.
My son’s dad was only 43 when he died of a heart attack. I thought I would have another opportunity. I was wrong. It’s definitely my biggest regret.
Gracie Mae 1 year ago
very sad...it is well worth it to have that kind of family photo. My sons have different fathers and i am so happy we all get along to the point that we have at least a few family photos--with BOTH of the fathers in them together!
#17
I'm a single gay man. One of my life's regrets is that I never had children. I don't dwell on the subject because that's water under the bridge, but I think I would have been a great father.
ElfVibratorGlitter 1 year ago
Not sure what country OP is from but many countries allow single gay people adopt. Maybe they're old now, but do mentoring like big brother, big sister. Never too late.
#18
After a year in Vietnam, I came home and met a woman that I really grew to love, and I ended up marrying her. But without realizing I had PTSD, I pushed her and our sons away by drinking and staying away from home so much that she left me. Eventually, my sons also left me, and now I have no relationship with any of them.
Jay Scales 1 year ago
A terrible regret, but not your fault. Help should've been available for you. Tragic.
Tom De Paul 8 months ago
The VA has some amazing programs to treat PTSD, residential and outpatient. But they don't come to you. You have to do the research, find a program, get admitted -- then the hard work really begins.
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Jacquie Carr 1 year ago
You can send messages or cards apologising, especially to your sons. If you continue to message them periodically just hoping they're well etc, they'll realise after time that you're there to stay and may decide to open a communication with you
Evelien Stijger Martens 1 year ago
So how are you now with the PTSD? Is there no way to talk to your sons, explain what happened to you and tell them your regrets. It must have traumatised them to and might you have recovered, they can use so healing too.
#19
I never forgave my wife.
My high school sweetheart and I had a son when we were just 17. We got married at 19. At 21 she cheated on me. Because I wanted to stay near my son I stayed with her but I was never able to forgive her. After her infidelity she became a great wife and was always a wonderful mother but still I couldn’t let go of the past. It took many years but we finally divorced after my son was grown. Since our divorce, 5 years ago, I have been miserable. I miss her terribly. We are still friends and talk regularly but I hate that I could never forgive her. I am more unhappy without her than I was with her. I truly wish I could have found a way to get over it while we were still together.
Jnk 2 months ago
Like I wrote in another comment: I think forgiveness is more for the sake your own peace of mind and heart than for the wrongdoer. I hope, at least you didn't do as Jacquie described in her comment. Too common but somewhat understandable as we are emotional beings. But even if you did fall into that hole back then, maybe you could apologize for that and tell her your regrets and your lasting feelings for her and that in the end, you have forgiven her even if it took you too long. It might not be too late :)
Jacquie Carr 1 year ago
A lot of people don't want to get over things like this when they stay together - they use it to punish their partner or hold it over their head that their partner is lucky they decided to stay. Often it then turns into an obsession by the injured party that gets worse over time then everyone else moves on from it and they're stuck with the anger & irrationality they created themselves
Luke Oakridge 1 year ago
When a man cheats, people on websites like this tell the wife not to forgive him. I wonder how they would react if a woman wrote something like what is above but with the genders flipped?
#20
Not speaking up
Not speaking up, when my parents asked what I wanted to do for life.
Not speaking up, when I learnt engineering is not my cup of tea.
Not speaking up, when I was asked if I wanted to do something else (career-wise).
Not speaking up, when my relationship was going down.
Not speaking up, when everyone was asking ‘what's wrong'.
Not speaking up, when I was told to speak up.
Life would've been different, a lot different.
georgios pahatouridis 1 year ago
probably there is no time. Stop living in "boredpanda" world, sometimes you have to face reality
Load More Replies... Jenny Mason 1 year ago
I'm so happy that my son spoke up when he realised that computer game development wasn't for him in his second year of university. He had been set on this subject for many years by this time and thought I would be disappointed if he quit the course. I just wanted him to do whatever made him happy. He had become suicidal and thankfully he spoke to me about it in time to get him help. He switched courses to software development and graduated a year later with a 1st class honours degree.
Evelien Stijger Martens 1 year ago
I hate it when people non't speak up, other people get hurt by that to. Not sharing, not sharing with them, not meking them a part of your life. When you were young, i get that, we all do, because we want our parents to be happy with us, but kater on, no.
#21
My dad had called me up and he was asking me about my health as I was pregnant at that time. After a while he said he had to disconnect as he had to go for an emergency (he was a doctor ).
Before disconnecting my call, he asked me to take care of myself, my unborn child and my mom too. I asked him what made him say that I should take care of my mom too when she was with him.
He told me that he just felt like saying it. I told him that I am coming to him and mom in a couple of months and I expect a lot of pampering from him, mom and my siblings for myself and my unborn child.
He said that his love and blessings are always with me and disconnected the call.
My dad passed away the next day due to a sudden cardiac failure while he still was in hospital attending his patients.
I couldn't see him for the last time. I couldn't seek his blessings. Since I was pregnant at that time, I was mildly sedated and kept away from the information until his last rites were performed.
My biggest regret: Not seeing my dad for the last time .
Svenne O'Lotta 10 months ago
No one is gonna sedate a pregnant person because their father dies.
Jacquie Carr 1 year ago
No-one could be with my dad when he died and we were devastated about that. I saw a medium a few months later and with no prompting she said my dad was saying that he didn't want his girls worrying (the medium didn't know my dad had passed or that I had a sister at that point) about not being with him, stuff like that doesn't matter one bit to him. I still feel bad about it but not as much now
#22
I lived my parents until I was 32. I lived at home and went to a local college, graduating when I was 23. Got a pretty good job and saved enough money for awesome trips to Africa and Costa Rica. Bought a nice new car. Saved enough money to make a large down payment on a condo when I finally moved out.
The part I regret is not getting out on my own much sooner. I’m very introverted, and lost a lot of opportunities to learn to get along with people. I didn’t have to. Sure I had friends and dated, but I never had roommates. I had girl friends, but never a sleep over at my parent’s house. By the time I moved out I was fully in career mode and comfortably set in my ways. I feel like I got a very delayed start learning social skills and learning to push myself to get out of the house. I’m not exactly lonely. I learned to live quite happily by myself. At this point it’s just easier and comfortable that way. I’m 61 now. Never married. Quite honestly I’ve become a self-made hermit.
Part of me would like to be in a long term relationship. Hell, part of me would like to be a short-term relationship. At this point it’s just easier not to. I know it’s laziness. You don’t have to tell me that. If I *really* wanted to I could push out of my comfort zone, but in the end long standing behavior patterns are hard to break. Wish I had never established those non-social behavior patterns.
Sunny Day 1 year ago
I'm 58, but I'm your twin. Got a scholarship for any school, but went to the local community college. Lived with my parents & traveled in my 20s. Moved out at 29. Never married. No kids. Introvert. I work. I go home. Go to the grocery store when needed. Im more comfortable alone. I like my rut. I'm comfortable in my rut. I don't regret my rut.
Thomas Ewing 1 year ago
Some of us are so comfortable with themselves that the thought of solitary confinement or a 2-year trip to Mars and back solo doesn't faze them at all. That's OK and the sign of a very healthy mind.
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June 9 months ago
I'm late diagnosed AuDHD and I grew up into a people pleaser and a performer : my internalized ableism led me to force myself into social interactions even if it made me physically ill until it was easier. I'm almost 40, and tbh I try to keep social interactions at minimal nowadays. They are draining af.
Jill Rhodry 1 year ago
It's always a trade-off though - had you'd moved out earlier you likely wouldn't have been able to afford both to go to Africa and buy a home.
Evelien Stijger Martens 1 year ago
I started learnig how to communicate very late and i moved out young. I just never felt at ease with others, stil don't. But i know how to cominicate now in a propper way. Before that i was not socially equipt and iften said the wring things in the wrong way. Now i can talk to almost anybody, as long as it isn't more than 5 minutes, because that my repertoire ends and than the freefall starts. So maybe it wasn't about you starting late, but about you not beïng the best at it.
Anonymous 4 months ago
I'm in the same situation bro, its nice to know that there are other people like this and its not just me 🥲
Load More Replies... #23
Divorce.
I was 18 when I got married. It was 1989, I was in love. We got married. He was 19. We welcomed our first daughter in 1990, second in 1991. We felt complete. Life was beautiful. My husband's business was doing great. We could afford a luxurious life with many amenities by God's grace.
4 years later we decided to have another baby. I was pregnant again. This time I wanted to have a boy. I used to pray for a boy. In 1996, my prayers were answered. I gave birth to a gorgeous baby boy. He had my eyes, he had my smile, and he had his father's finger shape.
I was happy.
One year later, my husband decided to expand his business. He moved his business from the capital of the country to the economic capital of the country.
Initially he would come home every Friday and leave on Monday. This stopped after 2 months. His visits reduced. He didn't have any affair, he was very loyal but he made his business his priority. We started fighting. Every time we spoke we only had arguments. This continued till 1999 February, when we decided to separate. I regret it.
He bought us a house near our daughters' school. We decided that the daughters will stay with me and he took the custody of our 30 months old baby. I fought for my son's custody but lost. We never remained in touch.
4 years ago, my husband got in touch with my daughters. They started spending time together. He would often meet them and call them.
One day my daughters requested him to let them meet their brother. He agreed. I was happy I was finally going to meet my son after 15 years. I didn't know him at all. I didn't know how he looked, what he liked, nothing at all.
When I met him, I realised how horrible I am as a mother. Because of my stupid decision it was my son who suffered the most.
He was put into a boarding school right away. My husband never met him in all these years. He was busy with his business. My baby was left there all alone. When other children went back to their homes during vacation, my baby had nowhere to go. He stayed there at the hostel. He had to eat horrible hostel food. He never came home for holidays. He doesn't know what a family is. He doesn't know what love is. For 15 years he was left all alone like an orphan, but, my husband sent him money regularly. He was an orphan with money.
I never got married after the divorce. I spent my life taking care of my daughters. I wish I can go back in time. I could've stayed there with my husband and took care of my baby. My precious little baby lost his childhood because of me. He deserves a better mother. It wasn't his fault.
Sa Ruuu 1 year ago
That makes no sense. What judge would separate a toddler from their mother?
XanthippeⓐWulf🇨🇦️️🇬🇧 1 year ago (edited)
I think it depends on the country & the financial situation. Not every country has the option for the mother to fight for custody if the father wants the child. Even when the father dies, some countries will give the father's family custody before they give it to the mother. Finances could also factor in if this isn't a patriarchal country and there is no abuse or true neglect. I agree, this guy sucks & should never have been granted custody, but on a grander scheme, the courts & society can't demand that "a child needs their mother!" without negating all of the healthy child rearing that some amazing single dads do. Or at least that's what makes sense in my mind.🤷♀️
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#24
I don’t like to share my personal life with anyone, so writing this anonymously. Though I have made some mistakes in life, this one really tops the chart.
So me any my father were never really close, although he cared for me but never really showed it (like most indian dads) and I was the same as well. It was my final year engineering exams when I received a call from home, it was my sister who said that dad just fainted and we are taking him to the hospital. I reached as soon as I could, he suffered from brain haemorrhage. Though the doctore saved him, he was not able to walk or speak properly after that. He was 57 at the time.
After 3 years went by, we had accepted this fate and were living peacefully. My dad was now able to take care of himself(doing his day to day activities that is) and he used to exercise as well, since the doctors mentioned it was very important for him to keep his body moving.
One fine day he complained to us that he is having some chest pain so he’ll skip exercise, we all thought it was due to gas so didn’t pay much thoguht to it. This continued for 3–4 days after which I had an argument with him and I shouted these exact words to him “You are just finding excuses to not exercise, there’s nothing wrong with you. You are just being lazy.”
Guess what! Next morning he started sweating really bad and fainted. We took him to the hospita and found that he was suffering from a heart attack and doctor said that it must be going on for about 4–5 days now. He asked us how come we didn’t notice any symptoms and we were all blank and cried like anything.
He was not so lucky this time, after being in the ICU for 15 days, he didn’t make it. Life has never really been the same since, beacise all I can think of now is our last coversation in which I shouted at him. That’s my last interaction with him, the amount of pain and guilt I feel now, if I could give everything I have just to change that one moment where I shouted at him, I would not even think twice.
But I can’t, after that day I’ve realised the importance of words and parents as well. Although they may not always show but we(their children) are the best thing that ever happened to them.
Please guys, treat your parents with the love and respect they deserve, because you don’t know which conversation is going to be the last one.
Vanessa MacKenzie 1 year ago
my 16 year old brother was murdered. Two weeks beforehand I had yelled at him for lighting matches and setting fire to something not in the fireplace, in my house with my babies there. I told him to get out and not speak to me for a while. This was the last thing I ever said to him. You don't know what will happen the next day or next week. Regret is a fine thing in hindsight, but you never knew what was going to happen next. I'm sorry for the loss of your dad.
#25
4V6I met with a car accident on 22nd July 2015. At that time I was pursuing my first-year MBA. It was my friend's birthday. He asked me to buy some food for everyone. I had my own car at that time so I went to buy the food along with two of my friends. It was around 11:30 pm. We searched for open restaurants everywhere but we were not able to find any, so we decided to go back. I was speeding my car at 120 Km/hr and there was a truck waiting to make a U-turn. I didn’t slow down the car. I thought I can cross the truck before it takes U-turn but instead I hit the truck. After that, I don't remember anything. Next time I opened my eyes, I was inside an Operation Theatre. Both my legs were broken and I unwent two surgeries to fix my legs. As for what happened to my two friends who were with me, the one who sat beside me in the front seat had a fractured hip and the one in the rear seat had minor injuries. After the surgery on both of my legs, I got another shocking news that the toes on both my feet were severely damaged and crushed so they would have to be amputated, so that the infection won't spread to my legs. Then I went for another six surgeries to amputate my toes.
It was the hardest time in my life, I was not even able to walk. I was just lying in the hospital bed for almost 6 months while my friends were promoted and going to the second year of the course. I was extremely depressed and sad for the mistake I had committed that day. I was not able to forgive myself for that. Then I and my friend (with the hip injury) got special permission from the college and were allowed to write the exam without attending any classes for six months. Finally we completed the MBA degree with 70% marks. Afterwards, we also got placed in a company through campus selection but I didn't join the job as my parents didn't want me to stay in that city anymore. So I came to my native place and after one year, I got a job and worked for a very less salary, but my parents were happy as I was with them. Now I’m 27 years old, physically fit, and now I run and jump again. I still own a car which I drive by myself everyday to my office. No one can find about my absent toes unless I walked barefeet. I always wear socks and shoes to hide this from everyone as I don't want them to feel sympathy on me.
This was the biggest mistake in my life I should have avoided driving at late nights for unimportant things and also should have driven relatively slowly and more carefully. Because of that unfortunate incident, I feel my life's growth slowed down.
My two friends who were involved in that car accident are well settled and happily married now.
I just wanted to share this with everyone so that they can understand that life is unpredictable and we should always fight back if things don't go in our favour. Life is short, and we should enjoy every moment of it.
George McClelland 1 year ago
Given the use of km/h and the phrasing of the English seems non-native it's likely that truck means the largest vehicle on the road, a heavy goods vehicle, a lorry, a semi, an 18 wheeler. Something that will barely notice being struck by 2 tons of car
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Jenni Howard 1 year ago
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Lucky you didn't kill your friends or anyone else. Serves you right
#26
When I was a child, 3rd grade to be specific, I found a caterpillar in my garden.
I instantly remembered one of my friends saying “Lock a caterpillar in a match box, it will turn into a butterfly after a week”.
I loved butterflies. So I ran into my kitchen to find a match box. Found one. There were only two match sticks, threw them away and went to my garden running. Somehow managed to put that caterpillar in that matchbox.
I made two small holes on the either sides so that there’ll be some air. Placed the matchbox in a cool and dry place.
2 days passed, I couldn’t stand my curiosity, opened the matchbox to see the progress.
I FOUND IT DEAD.
I cried a lot but that caterpillar I had killed unintentionally never came back to life.
All I had in my mind was REGRET.
I eventually learned not to believe anyone blindly. This incident laid the foundation.
Caitlin Davenport 1 year ago
I understand the regret. I had a similar situation with a bug. If anyone else has this regret, I officially grant you forgiveness.
Jnk 2 months ago
Thank you for that! I still think about the caterpillar I raised in a plastic cup. Was growing and thriving and I was excited to follow the prgress and looking forward to releasing whatever it would turn into. After 10-14 days, I was going on vacation. I left the caterpillar with fresh leaves and plenty of water. I figured it was days away from chrysalis stage. Came home and found it... rotted! I still now 30+ years later get tears in my eyes thinking that I was too selfish to set it free early enough, because I so wanted,to witness its final transformations! As I'm finishing the comment now, I realize that even your grant doesn't take away the guilt, but thanks for trying...
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Jane Hower 1 year ago
That is often how we learn a lesson - the hard way. But they really stick for a lifetime and that can be good.
Uncle Schmickle 1 year ago
I used to put them into shoe boxes with ventilation holes and leaves, which I replaced every couple of days. Had a few beautiful butterflies emerge,
Jessie 1 year ago (edited)
That worked because they can eat the leaves, you won’t get butterflies if you lock them in an empty box and leave them to starve.
Load More Replies... #27
Falling in love all over again to a man I dated and trusted in high school after 25 years. I gave up a wonderful relationship, a beautiful home at the beach, a great job that I had for 21 years and moved to the southern desert to be and marry him. We were married for 20 years and I found out he was living 2 separate lives with another woman and for the last 5 years had been hiding thousands of dollars with his greedy, adult daughter to keep for themselves. Now fighting and going through a divorce and discovering just how evil a person can be. I never stopped loving him and still struggle with not hating him. Wake up every day wondering why without an answer from him. He is still lying about everything and it kills my heart that all those years were wasted and what little regard he had for me. Throughout our marriage, he was always kind to me and when I found out he turned on me and is full of hate. I will never understand the horrible betrayal from a man I adored and would have done anything for.
XanthippeⓐWulf🇨🇦️️🇬🇧 1 year ago (edited)
This is going to sound a little insensitive, but you rolled the dice and lost.Suck it up buttercup. Let me clarify that no one deserves to be treated like that, but it almost sounds like you still haven't learned your lesson. "I still love him, why is he doing this to me?" Are you f*****g daft woman? Gtfo! Yes, I know the OP won't see this, but I posted it anyway for whoever needs to hear it.
Tom De Paul 8 months ago
Yay! I love tough love. You make your bed you lie in it.
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Dread Pirate Roberts 1 year ago (edited)
"I gave up a wonderful relationship..." Did she leave a good guy for this fartnut? That's kinda what it sounds like to me, but I may just be reading it wrong?
Bec 1 year ago
I am confused too, if you read it literally, she had a happy 21 years relationship that she left for a her high school crush, who she then spends 20 years with?
Load More Replies... #28
I am 22, recently graduated Mechanical Engineer and UNEMPLOYED.
It's 23:15, I am sitting on my rooftop, lost in the thoughts of getting rejected from an interview today. Well talking about regrets, there is only one:
'I lack communication skills.’
And this is how it goes:
I completed my schooling from a government Hindi medium school. I got 100/100 in maths but 63/100 in English. But I topped my school so didn't care about one subject.
I took admission in a government engineering college of Uttarakhand where I completely devoted myself in studies to get good marks and a job. Didn't join any college society and never participated in any activities.
In final year, companies came for recruitment and here comes the CLIMAX:
M/S Escorts: GD out
Hero moto corp: written clear, GD out
Bajaj motors: written clear, Interview out
Applied off campus: 4 GDs out, 3 Interviews out.
See, I had points in my mind to speak in GD and interviews, even some very good points. But at that moment I was unable to plot them verbally. I wasn't quick enough to think and speak at the same time because I never did it before.
And every time whole conversation converges to, “mmmm…. you know” “mmmm…. you know”.
So a little piece of advice to all newcomers who are going to build their careers in any field:
'If you can't explain it to someone, you don't know it.’
So just learn how to present your thoughts the way you think them and try to be social.
Good luck.
P.S. I watch English TV series( Breaking Bad, GOT etc.) and English movies too, very often. But listening, thinking and speaking are all different.
Green Machine 1 year ago
Right? It's frustrating when writers use abbreviations/acronyms but never define them.
Load More Replies... DramaDoc 1 year ago
Absolutely biased, but an intro level theatre class can help with all of this. I tell my students that it doesn't matter if they can cure cancer or invent time-travel: If they cannot articulate their ideas to others, then what they know becomes useless.
Tom De Paul 8 months ago
Or speech. My high school speech class still pays dividends and I'm 63!
Load More Replies... XanthippeⓐWulf🇨🇦️️🇬🇧 1 year ago (edited)
I genuinely believe there should be a secondary/university exit course on how to apply & interview for the career in which you received your degree. I think it would help a lot of people to feel more comfortable duscussing how they plan to take the education they just completed and use it to benefit the company they're applying for. I know that there are lots of job interview courses online now, but it should be a natural part of our schooling & included in the curriculum. When I hired, communication was at the top of my list. I'd get so bummed when I'd find a candidate that was great on paper, but shyte in the interview, because, unfortunately, working in a veterinary clinic is not the best career for people who aren't great at communicating. 🫤
Bec 1 year ago
Many US colleges have an office that helps with resumes and interview practice. My doctorate included having us do mock interviews and I found it very helpful to get feedback in a safe space
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Liz Mary 12 months ago
OP will not read this but to anyone out there, prepare Interview questions and write answers, sit in front of a mirror and read them out allowed. Practice, practice, practice, because that will make it perfect. Also, any interview where they offer something to drink, as for water. Coffee is too short, anything else will sound greedy. When you need a second to think, take a small sip (small sip only), that will give you a sec or 2. Furthermore, research the company you're applying for.
Amanda Young 1 year ago
I've always heard that when/until you can teach someone something (whatever you're learning or whatever) then you don't know it that well.
Scott Rackley 1 year ago (edited)
I was taught as an apprentice, many moons ago, the same thing just slightly different. If you can't explain in simple terms to another, you don't understand it well enough.
#29
I dropped out of computer engineering as a major at George Washington.
This was around 2003, I ended up majoring in business which has worked out fine overall.
But at my core, I think I’m an engineer. I like being creative and have always been very analytical. My dad was an engineering major at the Naval Academy, so maybe it runs in me.
Also, tech has exploded...
#30
Not taking the flight.
Girlfriend and I were college students. We loved each other and we saved money the whole year for a trip together in Europe. Since we studied in different cities, we booked different flights that arrived roughly at the same time.
I sent her a message saying that I wasn’t going anymore, she only got my message once she arrived at the destination. It was her dream vacation. She was so lovely and caring, she had a luggage full of gifts for me.
Why did I abandon her in another country? I had a coursework project that wasn’t quite finished, I was still polishing it.
Oh, did I mention I got an A for that course? It was totally worth missing the flight, I totally knew how to handle priorities.
Remarkably, she forgave me for having been such an asshole and we got back together. We are happily engaged now.
PolymathNecromancer 1 year ago
Dude. I hope you know how lucky you are. Depending on what and who you are going forward, you may or may not deserve it. And don't decide this yourself, pay attention to how others receive you. I have my own version of this, and I pay close attention to the well-being of my peeps, as well as myself (so they don't regret their kindnesses).
Jnk 2 months ago
You clearly deserve whatever luck and kindness you receive for being appreciative and learning from past mistakes. Good on you! I discovered pretty early that I was not the center of the universe and putting others first is often the most rewarding. Sure, some people don't appreciate your efforts, and sure we all deserve to do something solely for our own benefit every once in a while :) but being mindful of that balance is one of the keys to a fulfilling life in my humble opinion.
Load More Replies... Dread Pirate Roberts 1 year ago
"I gave up a wonderful relationship..." Did she leave a good guy for this fartnut? That's kinda what it sounds like to me, but I may just be reading it wrong?
Jacquie Carr 1 year ago
Don't pat yourself on the back for knowing how to "handle priorities"; you knew you hadn't finished the project the day before the flight but you left it until the day? You behaved like an a*****e and you're lucky she forgave you
#31
Not a day goes by where I don’t bash myself for what I did.
I was 11 years old and my dad had been sick for 2 years. Countless surgeries and admissions to the hospital. I was left in the dark, my mother and father did not want to tell me what was really going on with my dad. They didn’t think I could handle it. One day while my dad was hospitalized, I roamed the hospital hallways. I began glancing at nurse stations and their computers where I read my fathers name, and that he was in his last stage of pancreatic cancer. I cried so much. I associated cancer with dying. As I approached my dad’s hospital room one of his doctors stopped me and asked me not to cry in front of him, that his body was under a lot of stress to begin with. So to counteract my tears I went in his room furiously. He asked what was wrong, upset. Then for 5 minutes he looked at me and didn’t say a word. His eyes said plenty. He was weak and I hurt his feelings by treating him so cold. He gave me a kiss on my forehead. He only did that twice in his life. Post surgery and this night. I just said I didn’t want to speak to him and stormed out of the room.
4 hours later at 3:29 on December 31st 2009 am my brother wakes me and my mother up saying my family members arrived to pray. I shouted “It’s 3 am, why…” I yelled at him as to why he left my father alone in the hospital. Someone should be besides him always. My mom looked at me in the eyes dull, and dreary and said “he was in a lot of pain”.
My father passed away and the last thing he remembers about me is me being mean and dismissive. I wish I gave him a big hug, and thanked him for being the strongest dad I could ask for. Thank him for being the most selfless father. Tell him that I love him with all my heart.This secretly eats away at me.
I think a part of my heart didn’t just break that day, it died. Sometimes when we are the cause of our own wound, time doesn’t help.
Monica G 1 year ago
It is obvious he loved you. And any parent that loves his child will love him too much to care about a teenager's tantrum.
CSC 1 year ago
Very true. The father knew why she was acting angry. She was scared. He also knew that she loved him very much.
Load More Replies... #32
Not listening to my intuition.
I went out with an a**hole last year who seemed kind of off. I tried to break things off with him after the second date because it seemed like he just wanted one thing, while I wanted something with more of a commitment. He then laid on the charm and told me exactly what I wanted to hear. I decided to give him another chance.
I should have stuck to my decision and GTFO.
The whole relationship was a nightmare, and his constant lying made me spin in circles. The chemistry dwindled after the first couple of months, and became more of a comparison session between me and his exes (with his exes being “better than” me in all the ridiculous ways you can think of). He would put me down in other ways and then tell me that my self esteem was super low. It was slow torture for me but in a twisted way, I’m sure he enjoyed causing me pain. I can’t think of any other reason why someone would say such awful things if they didn’t secretly enjoy it. For the life of me, I don’t know why I didn’t break up with him.
It’s been months since it ended, but it’s been rough. I feel like my soul has been stolen from me, and I’m trying my best to find my way back. People say that even bad relationships are good life lessons, but I wish I had never met him. I was fine before I met him. Now I’m lucky if I can get through a day without crying. Today was not one of those days.
#33
I have an overbite.
Thanks to genetics, I have straight teeth. But because I have an overbite, the dentist required I have braces. With the braces, they special ordered an orthodontic headgear that I was supposed to wear while I slept every night so that it could shift and correct my useless overbite.
(The headgear in this picture is actually smaller than what I had)
My regret is that I never wore it. I shared a room with four sisters and I was so embarrassed to put it on. My sisters would never dare make fun of me, but I was too self-conscious. I know I would be sleeping while it was on, but I just couldn’t bring myself to get over it and use it. I was a freshman in High School and in the midst of puberty. When I would go back to the dentist for the follow ups, my doctor would just know that I wasn’t using it. My poor momma would get in trouble and so would I.
My mom begged me to put it on and I tried, I really did; but I would take it off in between my snoozes. I regret being so insecure and not using my headgear. I am now stuck with an overbite and permanent retainers because my dentist did not trust me with removable ones. The older I get, the more I regret it.
Kids, follow your dentists/doctors orders.
ElfVibratorGlitter 1 year ago
I wore my headgear for 6 years. Perfect teeth. Then I lost my retainers....and now they're shifting back to their pre janky locations.
Wendy Hamilton 1 year ago
I didn't wear mine either. My orthodontist made me go to his office every Friday after school to get my braces tightened. It hurt like hell.
DennyS (denzoren) 1 year ago
I had an overbite too, pretty bad and I didn't want to wear it either but I did and while my teeth aren't perfect by no means, I don't have any underbite anymore, completely gone. They did tell me I would have to get permanent fittings if I didn't either.
#34
I wish I came out sooner.
I didn’t really know about being trans until I was around 12, but I really wish I made it more obvious when I was younger that I didn’t feel like a girl.
If I showed I felt that way before I basically had freedom on the Internet and could explore as I pleased, then my parents would probably see that nothing influenced my feelings and would accept me more.
Also, if I came out sooner, that would give them more time to accept it, and that means me possibly getting help and hormones sooner. Right now I’m in some weird limbo where my parents “accept” me but they aren’t doing anything to help. If we dealt with that limbo before I hit puberty then where I’m at right now would probably be much better.
But it’s too late now. I came out three years ago, and it looks like I’ll have to wait another 3 to get hormones, assuming I can afford it.
Monica G 1 year ago
Lots of people have regrets after having drastical, ireversable such procedures. Adolescence is a very confusing time.
lenevlassak_1 1 year ago
Actually, a lot more people regret knee surgery than trans folks that got gender affirming surgeries.
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#35
I wasted 2.1 Millions of minutes of my life by Choosing mechanical engineering over Computer Science.
4 years
1,462 days
35,088 hours
2,105,280 minutes
126,316,800 seconds were wasted.
Yes, I could not fight with my parents and well wishers to choose a branch which I wanted to.
I wanted to become a software engineer but I was forced to study Mechanical engineering, I could not find anything interesting in my entire engineering except spending leisure time with my computer science friend @Sai Kumar
I was totally f**ked up.
Decided to get rid of it.
Improved my basic programming skills and communication skills while trying to pass mechanical engineering subjects.
Finally this is me placed in a MNC and working as software engineer but I always regret about my 4 years of life which I had lost.
#36
I went to my sister’s new apartment to visit her for the first time in a while and to see where she was now living. At the time, I was in college and she was living in a cr*ck-addicted nightmare. Her apartment was in a terrible neighborhood, and the belongings inside made it very obvious she was down to practically nothing both literally and figuratively. I had my boyfriend with me at the time and for both of us, the experience was very uncomfortable. She was clearly “cr*cked out” and it was really sad to see, but we still managed to giggle together and enjoy each other's presence just like we normally did growing up as sisters.
My boyfriend, who is now my husband of 6 years, gave me a nod like “let’s get the hell outta here!” So, I told my sister we had plans and we’re going to get going. She sadly asked me to stay suggesting she loved me being there and was really lonely. I felt bad about saying no, but at the time, pleasing my boyfriend and removing him from this awkward scenario was more important to me, so we left.
That was the last time I saw my sister alive as she died from a heart attack/drug overdose the day I moved to Madison, WI after graduating college. I will obviously never forget that last memory of her and knowing I could have stayed to spend more quality time with her regardless of how awkward it was for me makes me feel terrible and selfish.
#37
Pinging “hi” on fb to my crush during my final year (2012) of college.
She was an intelligent, classy girl and I was always in awe of her during my entire college days. I never had the guts to start a conversation with her though. Somehow gathered courage and sent a hi along with congrats on the day she got a placement offer.
That is how it all started - She replied and the conversation began. We would chat almost every other day on Fb on some random topic from then on and the chats were never ending. There were days I slept on my laptop itself while chatting. From fb we graduated to whatsapp slowly and started becoming good friends. Friendship started showing sudden signs of possessiveness 6 months down the line; We both knew we weren't just friends anymore, but we did not accept it for a long time because of our orthodox family backgrounds which would fail to understand love.
Two years later during some random fight she confessed that she loves me and we can't be just friends anymore. I loved her throughout these years, it was our family backgrounds which stopped me from taking it forward. But, now with she conveying her feelings I wiped all such thoughts and said a yes to her. We began our relationship with lots of hope and love about our futures.
The relationship lived through all tough situations for 2.5 years. I started thinking of her as my wife as opposed to girl friend as we were so hopeful and blinded by love. I had imagined a whole life with her all these years.
I convinced my family somehow and they were ok with my love, but she couldn't do that. Her parents gave emotional tortures and she went through a lot of trauma. It was a disastrous three months in our relationship. She tried her best - she had to choose between her parents and me. I loved her so much that I could do anything for her, anything to make her feel better. All I wanted was for her to be happy after those emotional tortures she went through. We cannot live happily knowing her parents would be unhappy - so we ended our relationship.
Little did I know what this would cause to me in the upcoming months as all I wanted at that moment was her to be relieved from the pressure her family was exerting on her. Initial days post break up were fine as I spent a lot of time in office and with friends. Slowly but steadily breakup started having its effect on me. 3 months post breakup I felt like visiting the places I went with her. I started going to these places often from then. I started missing her terribly. I reduced talking to people, I started spending times alone staring at the plain sky every evening.
6 months post breakup I somehow figured out she had been married. I was happy for her and her parents. At the same time i understood breaking up and watching them belong to someone else are two entirely different things. I felt numbness in me - something which belonged to you all through had suddenly been ripped off you. I fell sick, lost weight, lost hope in life, almost lost reasons to genuinely smile in the consequent months. Am trying hard to cope up with life. I will live through for the sake of my parents.
Its been more than a year since we broke up and here I am (at 3 AM) trying to retrospect what would have happened if I had not pinged a “hi” 5 years back. May be I wouldn't have inflicted pain and emotional burden on her peaceful family. May be I would not be missing someone else's wife now. May be I would be sleeping peacefully now without worrying about anything. Yes, I truly regret pinging her that day.
#38
Not been able to help my mother in her last time of life.
My mother passed away on 4th of may 2021 due to sudden drop of her oxygen saturation level .
On 3 rd of may 2021 everything was well ,she was advicing me to take care of myself isolate myself completely amid covid situation ,since I was away from my home 120 kms due to work but time changed drastically she left this world on the same day im my arms late at night all alone in an ambulance.
Things happened at such a pace that I was left completed shocked and devastated.
I would never be able to forget that black day of my life .I was all alone with my dead mother and even Close relatives didn't show up.
Things haven't improved slightly after my mom left this world, nothing is left in my life except pain , suffering and loneliness.
My mom was robbed out for her life ,In a single day she left me all alone in this world.
I would say this is the biggest regret in my life to not lived with my mother for much time. I wish i could have talked to her much ,could have cared for her much , could have made more memories,i just wish my mother could have lived more.I just wish these things now although i know nothing can happen.
#39
I bought Bitcoin nearly three years ago when it was trading at $256.31 per BTC.
I remember being the only person at my school with any understanding of what the new technology was. I was so excited about it that I wanted everyone to be a part of it. I told all my friends and teachers about Bitcoin and wanted them to invest in it and understand it just like myself.
Any person that would take the time to listen to my Bitcoin spiel and download the app Coinbase I would give a small reward. I sent $1 worth of BTC to everyone that would do so.
I also wanted the ladies to know that I owned a fair share of the new technology. I purchased a gift card to the movie theater with Bitcoin so that I could take a few different dates out to the movies. I went to two different movies using my purchase and payed for my date both times, so it was 4 tickets total.
Those were both VERY big mistakes.
The $1 I sent everyone? I was really sending them each around $55. These are students that I barely knew. $55 is a big chunk of money to be handing out at 17 years old.
And the two movies I went to? Each movie ran me about $1200. Each ticket cost me $600. I spent roughly $2400 on two movies. THOSE ARE THE MOST EXPENSIVE MOVIE TICKETS OF ALL TIME.
At this point I have no recollection of who I sent $55 to and I’m not even sure which movies I saw for $1200 a piece. I definitely regret it.
ElfVibratorGlitter 1 year ago
Is this Paul? Because my friend Paul sent me a Bitcoin back in...2011? I want to say. Told me I should invest in it. I didn't. I still have the Bitcoin, Paul literally lives on his own little island in Puerto Rico.
john doe 1 year ago
That doesn't make sense it's crying over spilled milk, that's like saying I can't believe I spent 10 dollars 30 years ago, that's like 100 dollars now!! It was worth what it was worth at the time, not what it was worth in the future. Sounds like most crypto losers who just care about money and nothing else, oh woe is me I could have had more money now, my biggest regret.
#40
I taught my dad how to video call on WhatsApp.
I didn't teach him when not to.
#41
I’ve been struggling with depression for the past 4 years.
There was this girl that I had. We were in a relationship for 1 year. Not a lot, I know but I gave literally everything, and she did too. We brought out the best in each other and would do anything for each other.
Here comes the bad part :
She shifted. From place A to place B. Place was real bad. Place A was near to my home. So when she shifted to B we started a long distance relationship. I was ok with it but she couldn’t cope with it.
We used to argue a lot and then one fine day she did something she never ever did before and I never imagined she would do. She abused me. Verabally. She was very innocent first.
So we broke up and all.
Then occasionally she messages me , makes fun of me sometimes, abuses me sometime, apologises sometime, sometime says she loves me, sometimes lies to me.
AND MY BIGGEST REGRET IS THAT I REPLY TO HER MESSAGE all the time. I can’t abuse her. She uses me always and uses me a dumping ground for emotion. Then acts ignorant and just then leaves. Then says she loves me. She fucks with my mind so much.
And I can’t tell this to my parents. Conservative family. Can’t eat or drink or sleep or think or work properly. Trust lifted off of love. Developing anger issues . Losing my sanity. All alone. No real help around. Totally demotivated and depressed. Can’t drag my feet out of the house to seek counselor help. Dying a little bit everyday.
So now, she has changed totally. And my regret is that I reply to her message whenver she messages cuz I still love her, I sometimes regret loving her.
#42
My biggest regret in life is getting married. Before marriage, I was a fun-loving guy who enjoyed the little moments in life. I worked on weekdays, relaxed on weekends, and loved to travel. Life felt balanced and fulfilling.
But after marriage, things changed drastically. Now, I find myself happy only 2-3 days a month. Even on those days, much of my time is spent trying to figure out why my wife is upset, handling household tasks like taking out the trash, making sure the bedsheets are in order, and so on.
Marriage has taken away a lot of the freedom and joy I used to cherish. It's frustrating, and I miss the person I used to be.
PS - This is for fun. If my wife finds out then I’m gone :)
Ava Lemar 1 year ago (edited)
Chores and the everyday grind happen whether you are married or not. The OP sounds likr he just wants a life without any work.
Ria C. 1 year ago
I agree except the "trying to figure out why my wife is upset" part. What are we missing, what information was left out, is she miserable too? Sounds like a good communication session is in order.
Load More Replies... #43
I'm actually a student studying far away from my home .I had a diseased sister who had no chances of surviving. EVERYBODY in the family except my little sister knew about her ill health.Even I was told about this long after my parents came to know about it. Whenever I came home from holidays I used to bring her chocolates but that time she asked me to bring something which is very special at the place I'm studying whenever I come home.
During Dussehra I didn't have a plan to go home as there were only a few holidays and all the time would be gone in travelling.But I felt homesick and suddenly made up my mind .I didn't even have a reservation . So in a hurry,I reached home and forgot to bring her any gift.
But the next day I brought her ice cream(a big family pack) .She felt happy for it and I left for my college. Unfortunately the ice cream that I brought her was the only food she had eaten after I had left .Three days later I came to know that she was dead. I felt ashamed of myself for not bringing the gift she wanted. I still regret it and cry sometimes.
Sorry my lovely sister.
She though was 12yrs old but had a maturity of an adult .Everyone remembers her for her respectful and polite way of speaking which children of her age would never do.
#44
My only regret in life so far:
Last year, I received a marriage proposal from a young doctor and I REFUSED!!!!!!!
I was 24 years old and a 4th year university student graduating in two months. It was sort of arranged proposal, which could have led to an arranged marriage (which I am okay with). I had never seen the boy nor communicated with him, nor has he ever seen me. My mom called me to tell me about it. She said that because he is not from our tribe she did not like him but told me the decision is up to me. My aunty knew the boy, so she communicated to him and he sent his picture and I sent mine. When I saw his picture, I decided there and then that it was a NO. He was tall and dark, not a handsome face but just a so-so. Both my uncle and aunty praised the boy and said he was a treasure and would make a good husband.
I did not even think about it twice and said a straight NO. Of course, my mom was happy to deliver the NO to the proposal.
1 year later and am still not married (not even a suitor). He got married earlier this year and I am here regretting. How I wish I had never judged him. Maybe this would have been a different story.
Luke Oakridge 1 year ago
You shouldn't be marrying someone you've never even talked to. Arranged marriages are crazy.
#45
Last night, I slept around 9 PM as I was extremely tired.
Then Mom came and woke me up and made me eat my dinner. I quickly finished that while half-sleep.
I got back to sleep and then even when I was not fully sleep, I felt a blanket over me. Oh! this must be Dad. He switched on the mosquito repellent, switched off the lights and then during midnight, I noticed that he came to accompany me in my room.
Now, when the Mom's love is loud and clear. I fail to notice that Dad is loving and probably he loves me more than he loves my siblings.
That blanket reminded me of thousands of similar incidents since childhood. His love and care is mute and hence often go unnoticed.
I also didn't realize that he has taken leave as I came home after long time.
He did that as he wanted to spend some more time with me.
Love of a Dad is often underrated. I regret taking his love for granted. I Love my dad :)
#46
Story goes like:
Me and my gf, 2 years back we were in a relationship. I had a decent job and she was also building her career.
After 2 years of realtionship she just left me, it shook me deepest inside. I quit the job and cut up from the world. And spend days thinking of past memories and watching shows and movies. Led to depression and loneliness.
That was really a regret, i didn't know how to handle that and pitfall, physically I've reached a state where i was about to die and mentally so sore too, later with hard work i achieve so much in life now I'm in great shape, and good mental state with help of friends trying to make carrier as entrepreneur.
The reason i write this article to show how meaning of relationship change and how vulnerable relationships could be, we should never take things for granted and keep working on relations everyday. Second reason for writing is how people waste their lives in past memo and future prediction, if relationship break we should teach and learn how to move on. Plz share your stories too and this could be anyone's story, I've wasted 2 years in such a relationship story and came up strong. Thanks for reading and support.❤️
But lost 2 years in darkness ( regret i have too). But happy now.
#47
Well we purchased our first four wheeler when I was forty years old.
I did learn driving. My husband was my coach.
Though we had small fights now and then, I could drive up to 40km with husband sitting beside me.
One day I escaped an accident. I could have hit a stationary truck parked on roadside.
But some how I could manage to control the car.
That incident made a deep impact in my brain.
Then I refused to drive on my own.
And the need never arose to drive a car.(mostly we travelled on two wheeler)
That was the biggest mistake I made.
When I was alone in Bhubaneswar for two and half years I had to entirely depend on autos for my travel.
Though I became self sufficient in all other aspects, this one thing made me immobile some times.
And now I have the problem of Vertigo. So, no way of learning car driving.
So not driving in my prime time was my biggest regret.
So don't neglect learning any thing which helps you to move forward.
#48
I’m 18 years old and i’ve always been a moody and rude person. I have a 34 year old sister who i’ve grown up around. We’ve never been close. As a teenager and pre teen I was rude and moody, but to be honest it was because I was going through a lot. My sister would also make fun of me and it would cause me to become more upset and not want to talk. My point is that I have never been close to my sister. We don’t do sister things, but I do love her very much. She’s getting married in two days and she didn’t ask me to be her bridesmaid. It hurt my feelings deeply when I found out, but I know that we aren’t close enough for her to want to ask me. During college my best friends sister got proposed to, and I remember sitting in her dorm as she called her. They were so close and she had even confided in things I would never tell my sister. Her sister has even asked her to be her maid of honor. I wish we had a relationship like that. I regret being rude to her and never trying to get close her. I’ve been reflecting and I realize my actions years ago will be the reason me and my sister will never be close. Please be nice to your family members.
#49
People say mistakes are meant to teach us lessons. But some mistake are way too big which leave us only with regret.
My biggest regret in life is going to kota for neet preparation in 11th grade. I was good student till 10th with study fun balanced. When i went to kota i had no idea what it's like to be there. I was just clueless. I was doing good for quite sometime and then my health deteriorated. I missed my classes for like a week or two and if you have studied there you'll know the value of single class. I missed on a lot of chapters and then came the phase where i just stopped studying. Started bunking classes. Binge watching web series. Basically i fuc*ed up.
I thought i would manage it in 12th as they teach 11th again. But then covid hitted and everything shifted online. And then i wasted 12th too.
I decided to take a drop from physics wallah online coaching which was also a major mistake. Studying online isn't really my thing and i should have known that by then. I wasn't able to solve doubts nor was I able to manage my time. I made another stupid decision to go back to kota but study online to get that environment. I was so isolated there and wasn't able to study. Later i was diagnosed with depression the same year (which isn't a excuse) and another year wasted.
Now the thing is once you start preparing for this competitive exams there's no going back. Drop after drop. I took admission in Allen's achiever batch next year and studied consistently but couldn't score enough to fetch a government medical College.
I didn't wanted to drop another year but i had already invested this much of time and if not neet then what was the thing which led me again to it. I decided to do self study with offline test series as my concepts were clear. And finally I am getting 665 marks this year.
Though i cracked this exam but it really doesn't needs this many years to do so. I just wasted three precious years of my life for a single exam. When my batchmates are graduating this i would be starting my college. I regret every moment i wasted watching series, hanging out with friends which no longer are my friends, wasting my parents money and my precious time.If you're a aspirant just give your best for once and all. Do not waste your time.
#50
Not keeping my head down.
I moved from a relatively nice, working class area in Birmingham to a rough area in Swansea. When I say rough, I mean that you got into the habit of looking where you step in case you step on a used needle rough. I was eleven.
Well, me being me I went into school and tried to get as much attention as possible. Talk to everyone, get my name out there, build a reputation. That's how I always handled new schools in the past. Trouble is, I didn't realise how much of a target I was. English, new, not from around here, ‘posh’, overweight, nerdy, naïve, loud, all these things painted a huge bullseye on my back. It started with teasing, then moved to shoving, then got progressively worse. I was out of my depth, I wasn't able to understand that shutting up would get me less attention, so I continued being my loud self.
It got worse and worse. I developed anger issues, trust issues, and depression. My dad and brother taught me how to fight, and for years thats what I had to do just to survive without a beating. I did a lot of shit I'm not proud of, made some bad friends, and ultimately became more and more like them. As a teenager, I became the total opposite of who I was as a kid: violent, touchy, scared, unpopular, lonely, paranoid. I withdrew from my family, and did damage that to this day I cannot heal. I think only my brother actually understands why I did and said the things I did, he's just like me.
I'm not that person anymore. I recovered from my depression, I learned to control my anger, I learned to deal with my emotions. I don't have to fight anymore, I've gone over a year now without getting into a scrap. That's good for me I guess. People wonder why I am the way I am, so confident, so full of myself, uncaring of what other people think. I guess I'm just trying to be as unlike who I was as I can be.
#51
I had s*x with my girlfriend. Okay so I understand it’s a norm in many countries to be physically intimate with your significant other but I’m from Pakistan.
The atmosphere here is considerably conservative. Moreover, any physical relations with the opposite gender out of wedlock are deeply looked down upon and carry severe punishments with them.
The reason why I did this was because I thought she was the one. That I was going to get married to her. That she was going to be my first and last. It was an in the moment thing but when things took a down turn and we broke up, it killed me. I felt a sort of deep responsibility towards her and just felt like a sh**ty person.
One thing that she said to me before our break up was “Now that you’ve had me, you’ve stopped loving me”. That killed me. I still love her and just yesterday tried to patch things up with her but she isn’t interested. She still means the world to me and I feel like a really shitty person for letting the break up happen even though it was due to the both of us.
#52
One jumps to mind.
I promoted the wrong guy over the right guy.
When I was a platoon commander, I had the opportunity to send a select group of my soldiers to commander course.
I chose, following several discussions with my platoon's NCOs, 7 guys, and then there was the 8th spot. It was down to two guys:
One who was really motivated and a really great guy, but who I felt was still too soft and unready, and another candidate, who was more assertive and at least at face value, appeared to want to go for it.
The NCO of the first guy wasn't too pro or against his candidate, but then Gilly, the NCO of the second guy told me:
“Noam, he is bluffing, I found out he has family connections in the base where commander course is held, the second he reports to that unit he'll drop out of the course, and be stationed in a base close to his home, where he can go live on easy street - you're wasting a spot, don't do it.”
It was my call, and I made the wrong one.
I did not listen to my NCO as I should have and went with my gut feeling. I told guy number 1, I don't feel he is ready but there will be other chances. Eventually there weren't and the IDF missed out a great commander.
I told guy number 2 I'm giving him a shot and I trust him to justify the trust - two days later, he got repositioned to a nice office in a base near his home. The IDF wasted a spot in commander course.
So Gilly - Guy Number 2's NCO, I'm sorry I didn't trust your judgement, you were right, I was wrong. (BTW I did admit my mistake and apologize to Gilly later)
And Gilboa, guy number 1 - I'm sorry I didn’t give you the shot you deserved. You deserved it, and I messed up.
Incidently, thinking back of this I searched and found Gilboa. I will reach out to apologize.
It's been 19 years, but it's never too late to own up to your mistake.
#53
I taught my mother to use Youtube , Hotstar , Voot to watch news and serials on my Laptop.
REST IS HISTORY.
Vanessa MacKenzie 1 year ago
Introduced my mum to a game on her phone. She has barely turned it off. Biggest regret was loading her debit card so she could buy the occasional item. $1000+ later.... But it's her money and I won't prevent her from spending what she likes at 71 years of age, as long as she can afford to do so. If she gets under 20K savings, I'll be taking the card off lol
#54
Getting drunk and making out with my best friend.
My best friend(who's a guy) threw a house party at his flat. Obviously, there was booze and stuff. After everyone left, me and my best friend were talking and suddenly things got intense and we started kissing. We were really wasted. I don't remember what happened next but after like 10–15 minutes when I came back to my senses, I was giving him a blow job. I was in a relationship at that time and he was engaged.
I lost my senses again. After a while when I woke up (I guess around 20 minutes later) his dick was inside my vagina. We were having sex and we got loud, really loud. My friend's fiance came back from work and saw us having sex and enjoying it. She called off the wedding. Since we were old friends our family knew each other and now they know we had sex. And if you're an Indian you'd know how embarassing that is for your family to know that you had sex.
Me and my best friend fought after that and we don't talk now. I miss him and I regret that day.
#55
I can live with having wasted 4-ish years of my life as a drug addict. It sucks. I hate it, but that is an experience that has made me into who I am. I cannot imagine being someone else because that was a vital experience in refining me as a human being. My biggest regret is that I didn’t go to college when I was in my early 20’s which kind of goes hand-in-hand with being a drug addict. They’re inseparable because they’re mutually exclusive experiences (given the degree to which I was addicted). While the drugs were bad, not getting a good education in a field I would have loved (maybe medicine, maybe software engineering, maybe something else) stings to this day.
#56
My biggest regret is raising my step daughter. She’s 21 and I’ve raised her as my own from 2 years of age. She’s grown up to be like her biological father. Heartless and a absolute a*sehole.
Me and her mother had a big fight. A divorcable fight. We pulled through. She took her moms side, now me and my wife have patched things up but my daughter is still staying away from me.
I love her so much but she distances herself from me now. She’s forgotten all those sentimental moments we had together and me being her dad.
I’m so angry, hurt, upset. How can she turn so cold and spiteful.
It’s true what they say about the apple I suppose.
#57
I never told anyone about this. I destroyed a happy marriage of people I cared for.
Around the time I out of high school, I had a very good friend who I hoped to one day became my girlfriend. Long story short, it never panned out - I was too shy and unsure of myself. On the day I planned to try to move things forward, she started showing a great deal of interest in some guy we met, and I lost my courage. This was devastating to me, and I lost the last shred of self-confidence. Soon after we lost contact after I moved to another city.
Later I have been always seeing this as a pivoting moment in my life, the last and biggest of the adolescent relationships disappointments. The moment when I started believing I’m unworthy of someone good, that I will never meet anyone nice. The mythical day, the end of hope for ever being happy. The death of self-esteem that pushed me into a relationship with someone who I didn’t really care about, and then a loveless marriage - only because I was so convinced I don’t deserve happiness and that I should be content to find anyone who would want me.
Stupid and selfish, now I know.
Many years later, out of the failed marriage, I met her again. The old friendship rekindled. I met her husband and their four kids. We were meeting often, over drinks or board games, or going out for day trips. I became a friend of the family. We were watching movies together. I taught her to drive and helped to pass driving tests. We had fun and it was great. I know they were happy. I felt great in their company.
Then one night when her husband was away for a business trip, the unimaginable happened. We met, had a few drinks, and then we got too close. My old, adolescent love blinded me to the reality of today - I only remembered the desire to be with her, the disappointment of this not happening… but it was happening now. We started kissing. We realized it was wrong. I went home. Next day we met again to discuss what happened. We tried to be strong and still we failed - and so we become lovers.
The worst part?
I was still meeting with them both like nothing has ever happened. I still considered the guy to be my friend… heck I loved him like a brother.
She wished for a way for all of us to be together. She loved both him and me. If any of us heard of poly relationships before - maybe it would be possible at that point?
Instead she talked him into a threesome. It was fun and hasn’t changed anything. I think it was all salvageable at this moment, or maybe not, not with this deceit and betrayal in the background.
Then we two became reckless. We started showing signs of affection when he could see them. It was inevitable after this intimate moment shared by all three of us… but also it was cruel. He started to be suspicious. And this led to him finding evidence of our affair.
They had a big fight. He met with me a few times trying to figure out what has happened. I tried to take all blame on myself. Nothing helped. They both asked me to disappear from their life. She was crying, because she loved me - but she had to choose. It didn’t help.
Today all I know is they are divorced and I was the reason. Almost 10 years have passed, but this is still my biggest regret, the worst, most cruel, most selfish, most stupid thing I’ve ever done. I have made a lot of effort to fix my life, to rearrange priorities, to live more for others, less for myself. I’m now in a happy relationship and everything seems to be going well with my life.
But deep down I know what I did. What damage I caused - for them and for their kids. I will probably never forgive myself. I just hope they have found their happiness, but I’m too afraid to reach out and ask.
#58
I have rejected an offer of photoshoot from Bollywood Hunts.
Yes !! This is my biggest regret in life because the model who got my offer became the biggest model of product & offers in Flipkart.
Actually i have rejected this offer because of my sister’s birthday, which was in the same week as of offered date.
Finally when i realized my fault, i started working hard & applied for many photoshoot offers. Lastly i got selected by cloudtail (Amazon’s biggest seller) as their lead model for products.
#59
…and then i sent my nudes
Yes, this is the biggest mistake i have ever maded in my life till now. I play an online game (quite addicted to it). One day i met a guy, i used to play with him everyday. He became my friend. After two months i felt that i started liking him (sounds childish). I was very naive that time and didn't knew much about this world. One day he asked me out. I was overwhelmed with happiness. The more i talked to him the more i started liking him. I wished to marry him and he wished the same (atleast that's what i thought). After one month he asked me for nudes (indirectly), and this is what i can't think of doing even in my dreams. I said him that i can't do this. He replied “what's the meaning of relationship if i don't trust him". After this we started having arguments over this. I was in deliemma. The only thing i knew was that i can't lose him. Then one day i sended. After this everything was going smoothly then one day he said that he can't marry me coz of family problems (religion). I was broken, hurt and angry (not on him but on myself that how can i do this). I felt like i was toyed by him.
It was so stupid of me to do something like that but i did this because i was all alone that time no friends, no attachment with family. It may sound like I'm making excuses.
To most of the readers this incident will make no sense of what i did back then. And i don't blame anyone except myself for this all. It was all my foolish mistake that i sent nudes and I'll regret this my whole life.
#60
I'm 23 years old female. I fell in love with a guy who did not gave a sh** about my love. We used to be in the same school from class 5. Class 9 onwards i started developing feelings for him. First i thought it's infatuation but later i was sure because i wanted to share my everything with him. We never dated. After clas 12th he moved to new city for his engineering.. i used to count days to see him again in vacations. He said that he never loved me but he used to talk to me a lot. He used to share his personal problems also. But i never got the opportunity to be his gf. He stopped talking to me according to his mood. Later i came to know about his gf. I was in tears. My 10th and 12th got hampered. I could not score well in graduation also. Now I'm feeling like a garbage who is good for nothing. I'm 23 still no job. I always read our old conversation. . Look at his pictures etc.. we have not spoken for more than a year now. He is now doing really well with his new friends and job.. doesn't even bothered to check whether I'm dead or alive.
And here I'm lying down in bed with pain in heart tears in my eyes. It has been 8 years now.. still i don't know why I'm not able to get back to life. I have wronged my parents. They don't deserve this. My biggest regret ever.
#61
Not saying yes to a boy who asked me to a high school dance.
That happened to me at my senior year in high school. It was almost over ten years ago, and I still think about it.
I remember being in high school and that boy I really liked asked me over one day. I was stoned and declined. He started dating another girl of my friends a few weeks later.
He may be married now. And I absolutely love all of my life right now. But I still wonder what might have happened.
#62
Loosing my virginity to a wrong guy.
I met this guy on Facebook in 2016 and I was in a girls school that time with strict family at home so online platforms were the only way I could meet people especially the opposite gender. I was just 16 that time and this guy pinged me and we started talking. After a month or so I met him and I fell in that trap. I thought it's all lovey dovey things he's doing for me that means he really loves me. Poor me! I had Littrellly no idea that time what actual love feels like. I was just a dumb asshole with a immature and innocent heart. Oh lord why!! Anyways, that online dating turned real but I was too stupid to notice that this guy only texts me during nights, he calls me only to talk dirty, most of the time our talks were sexts. I had all the red flags in front of my eyes but Me being totally inexperienced with the outside world thought it's all love.
He took me to his flat after some days and he did everything. I was closing my eyes and feeling him all over me being shy hidden and with pink glossy cheeks. I was having love in my eyes in my heart. But then when this guy was done sleeping with me. He dropped me to the nearest bus stand and he stopped calling me and texting me. That's when I realised ohh this chapter is over. I was sad and broken ofcourse and it took me 4 years to forget it all and get in the reality of this world. I did my schooling and college and now I was seeing the true world with my own eyes. Who is smart who is dumb what is right what is wrong I got to know it all later but I just feel it deep down that wish I could just stop it all and save my D day for my Mr. Perfect.
I just feel and regret it the most. I don't regret loosing my Virginity before marriage I just regret the fact that I lost it to the wrong man who wasn't even in love with me. And what makes it worst is the face that years later now I realized that even I wasn't in love with this man. I was moved on and did great in my life later and met so many nice people, experienced what an actual love feels like. So it makes even more worst that I lost my Virginty to a man whom even I didn't love.
Anyways I'm over it now but just sometimes deep down I always had this in my mind.
#63
Regret of not checking my Facebook’s “OTHER MESSAGES” option.
No one could ever think that Facebook's other message’s tab could make a huge difference. It did to me, out of all the world’s luck.
It was few days back, precisely on Thursday last week when I had exhausted all my options of entertainment and scrolling down Facebook wall was also feeling humdrum. I opened my messenger and found an option of other messages. I was surprised to know the fact that I had so many messages there and I never bothered to check of course because of all the creepiness we witness always. I started reading all and was jolted by a message.
FLASHBACK 1 YEAR:
Well, last year I took part in a story writing competition for “WITTYFEED”, quite a famous content page on Facebook. I submitted my story and waited for 2–3 days but never got to know the results and forgot about it.
That day when I was checking my Facebook messages I found this:
I was dumbstruck!! I felt so bad and quickly I also checked witty feed's post regarding the winners and found this
YES!!! I had won the competition!! AND I regret it so much. Being the winner too, I couldn’t win anything. I so badly regret it.
It feels so awful but ecstatic at the same moment,knowing nevertheless I won :D
#64
One year ago, i fall in love with that super cool and very popular girl in my coaching class.
Yah I must say it's a love not the attraction. Beacause it's felt like love to me one year ago.
My father and her Father is good friends, so we talk and become great friend but because she is very popular in my friend circle so I fall for her.(i know that's stupidest thing done by me).
And due to this I lost my very great bro's beacause she didn't like them. One year ago she left me for some dude kind of guy who didn't show her any respect and I warned her about him but she refused to take my advice.
Due to this incident i stop talking to her.
My biggest regret in my life is to give respect and my time who didn't deserve my time and respect.
#65
It all happened when I went to my home during my vacation. When I first saw her, I fell for her. But I kept telling myself that its not love. After all how could there be love without knowing her. Slowly we became friends and the best of friends. We were more than just friends but we both weren't ready to accept that. She always told me how her friends tease her about me and how she scolds them. Over the period of time I got to know her. She is everything I could ask for in a girl- pretty, smart, intelligent. She is perfect example of beauty with brain. My heart was saying she also loves you but my mind never accepted. I never confessed because I never wanted to ruin our friendship. I used to read our chat when we were not talking. She always took me out for lunch, dinner. It was
I was pursuing my graduation then. We used to talk daily like friends and I loved that. But I never said anything to her. Meanwhile, my relationship status kept on changing from single to committed to single. I was in a series of relationships and all of them lasted for 5-6 months only.
After graduation I moved to kolkata. I got busy with work and new friends. My phone no. changed. We were not in touch for about 6-7 months. One day I got a friend request of a girlon fb. It was her but with another name. She denied that but with certain informations in her profile I was pretty sure that it was her. Later she also confessed.
Then we stayed in touch but I couldn't express my feelings for her. Time passed and in Feb she told me about her engagement. I was shocked. I never realized that time will change our course of relationship. I was hurt. I wanted to cry but I buried everything inside my heart. That evening I took out my bike and went on a long drive. I spent the night in a road side dhaba. I came back next day, congratulated her for engagement and said in my heart “ भुला देंगे तुमको सनम धीरे धीरे “.
But, sadly I can't. I cherish all those moments spent with her. I miss her everyday. I haven't talked to her since then. But I just wish may be in our next birth (if there is anything like that), we will be together.
#66
I am 24 years Old Indian Woman. I will turn 25 on June 2017. Old enough to get settled in life either by getting married(thats what people tell me) or by getting a job(which I have got when I was 23).
When I was in 12th standard, I wanted to join engineering. But due to lack of proper guidance and my persistence I could not get in IIT. Well I think I am not the only one, there are many like me. So I really don’t regret that. I studied my level best and Cracked WBJEE and got into a medium level engineering college. On the first year itself, I realised engineering is not my cup of tea. May be I will be able to complete it without any lapse of year(which I did), but building a career on it will only spoil my future because that will just be a negotiation with my life. I believe we should not negotiate with our life as we have got only one. So I decided to go for my love, management. Took money from father and got myself enrolled with well known coaching institute(my college was in Kolkata and hence this time I got opportunity of proper coaching and guidance). But I did not study. Wasted my father’s hard earned money. Lied to them that I am studying. I knew I am going to fail, still I again took the money to fill up the Common Admission Test exam form. As expected I failed,I can swear that I did not study, I did not study even for 1 hour if I sum up the whole time I invested on it. I was careless, reckless, did not understand the importance of the step which I took, did not know the importance of the money which my father gave without asking me a single question.
Fast forward to January 2016, I again spent the equal amount of money for CAT. This time the money was mine. I knew how much I had to work hard to earn it. This time I was serious. I started to love the study which I had to do. I came back from office everyday and gave 2–3 hours. I took a long leave before exam which caused me Loss Of Pay. I literally bought time from my employer.
I regret this a lot, even now, every moment. When I had ample amount of time, I could study whole day, my father was expecting something from me. I lost something which I can never get back, 2 years of my life. I broke my parents’ trust, I cheated them.
But now I am determined. I have promised myself to repay the same, not by paying the physical money but by gifting them a great result which will make them happy. If not this year, next year. But I will repay them with my hard work. Take a note Ma and Bapi…:)
What do you think ?
G A 1 year ago
How many of these were written by self hating Indian engineers? I lost the will to live after the third one moaned about his daddy issues.
Dawnieangel76 1 year ago
That I was always the good girl, the responsible girl...the 3rd parent. That I always did the right thing & made the right choices, always acted appropriately to not mess up my future. I'm 48 this year, and I have nothing. No family of my own (still providing for my otherly abled adult siblings), no savings account (so far in debt taking care of everyone else, I can't even get a car since my last one died), no vacations in 16 years, bad health that gets worse seemingly every day, mental health problems from years of abuse & bullying. If I would have known THIS would be my life, I would have had SO much more fun when I was younger. I would have taken my inheritance at 18 & run away for a while, travelled around, had amazing experiences & memories. Instead I gave it to my mother to pay her bills &never did anything fun. Ending up with regrets for what you DIDN'T do is so much worse than regrets from what you DID. I ended up a loser anyway; I should have had a blast getting here.
Jacquie Carr 1 year ago
We can't change the past but if you're still supporting other adults, that's a choice you're continuing to make
Load More Replies...
LinkTheHylian 1 year ago
I regret being an overly-energetic child who couldn't see his "friends" were bullies-in-waiting, and should have spent more time sleeping instead of trying to impress jerks.
Barbara Deskins 1 year ago
While driving home on I-10 in New Orleans, I was getting annoyed with the car in front of me who kept stepping on their break. There was hardly any traffic and I couldn't understand, so I went to pass her. As I looked over while passing her, a man popped up in the back seat right behind the driver. He was not trying to be seen. I realized to late that she was flashing SOS with her brake lights. The car immediately got of the nest exit and I couldn't get off. This was in the 80's, so no cell phone. I couldn't have discribed the car anyway, or what exit they took. I think about her once in a while and pray that it wasn't what it looked like
Jessie 1 year ago
If there was hardly any traffic why couldn’t you drive back a little and take the exit? Her life could’ve been in danger.
Load More Replies... G A 1 year ago
How many of these were written by self hating Indian engineers? I lost the will to live after the third one moaned about his daddy issues.
Dawnieangel76 1 year ago
That I was always the good girl, the responsible girl...the 3rd parent. That I always did the right thing & made the right choices, always acted appropriately to not mess up my future. I'm 48 this year, and I have nothing. No family of my own (still providing for my otherly abled adult siblings), no savings account (so far in debt taking care of everyone else, I can't even get a car since my last one died), no vacations in 16 years, bad health that gets worse seemingly every day, mental health problems from years of abuse & bullying. If I would have known THIS would be my life, I would have had SO much more fun when I was younger. I would have taken my inheritance at 18 & run away for a while, travelled around, had amazing experiences & memories. Instead I gave it to my mother to pay her bills &never did anything fun. Ending up with regrets for what you DIDN'T do is so much worse than regrets from what you DID. I ended up a loser anyway; I should have had a blast getting here.
Jacquie Carr 1 year ago
We can't change the past but if you're still supporting other adults, that's a choice you're continuing to make
Load More Replies... LinkTheHylian 1 year ago
I regret being an overly-energetic child who couldn't see his "friends" were bullies-in-waiting, and should have spent more time sleeping instead of trying to impress jerks.
Barbara Deskins 1 year ago
While driving home on I-10 in New Orleans, I was getting annoyed with the car in front of me who kept stepping on their break. There was hardly any traffic and I couldn't understand, so I went to pass her. As I looked over while passing her, a man popped up in the back seat right behind the driver. He was not trying to be seen. I realized to late that she was flashing SOS with her brake lights. The car immediately got of the nest exit and I couldn't get off. This was in the 80's, so no cell phone. I couldn't have discribed the car anyway, or what exit they took. I think about her once in a while and pray that it wasn't what it looked like
Jessie 1 year ago
If there was hardly any traffic why couldn’t you drive back a little and take the exit? Her life could’ve been in danger.
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