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I'm fine. What are you talking about, you do not look fat in those jeans. I'll give you a call.

We lie all the time. And we get away with it quite often, too. But some folks push their made-up narrative so far, it's hard to imagine anyone actually believing them.

So they end up on the subreddit r/thatHappened. Its members share evidence of "people telling outrageous tall tales that would make Walter Mitty proud" and they have compiled quite the archive since the creation of this online community in 2012.

Here are some of its best gems.

#1

From Cursed Comments

From Cursed Comments

ya_boi01 , deborahhowarth9 Report

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Otter
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hope you don't mind him losing his fertility to a totally preventable case of the mumps, and having no biological grandchildren?

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#2

Jesus Christ. What An Idiot

Jesus Christ. What An Idiot

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KJ
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Lol, this one should be number one for the massive cringe value.

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Sometimes people lie just to inflate their image—some think this motivation is the reason behind President Donald Trump's demonstrably false statement that his Inauguration crowd was bigger than President Barack Obama's first one. But people also lie to cover up bad behavior, as American swimmer Ryan Lochte did during the 2016 Summer Olympics by claiming to have been robbed at gunpoint at a gas station when, in fact, he and his teammates, drunk after a party, had been confronted by armed security guards after damaging property.

We can find similar examples even in fields that are dedicated to the search for eternal truth. And one doesn't have to look far, either. Take the physicist Jan Hendrik Schön, for example, whose purported breakthroughs in molecular semiconductor research proved to be fraudulent.

#3

Imagine Getting Called Out Like That, By Harry Styles Himself

Imagine Getting Called Out Like That, By Harry Styles Himself

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Serial pacifist
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He swore to God. Imagine 'god' profile also replying: Stop using me for your lies, Mike.

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#4

Not Really Sure What Is There To Brag About Anyways

Not Really Sure What Is There To Brag About Anyways

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#5

Running A 5k In 10 Minutes

Running A 5k In 10 Minutes

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Lying is something many of us are very good at. We do it while interacting with strangers, co-workers, friends, and loved ones. Turns out, our capacity for dishonesty is as fundamental to us as our need to trust others, which ironically makes us terrible at detecting lies. Being deceitful is woven into us, so much so that it would be truthful to say that to lie is human.

The ubiquity of lying was first documented systematically two decades ago by Bella DePaulo, a social psychologist at the University of California, Santa Barbara. DePaulo and her colleagues asked 147 adults to jot down for a week every instance they tried to mislead someone. The researchers discovered that the subjects lied on average one or two times a day. Most of these untruths were innocuous, intended to hide one's inadequacies or to protect the feelings of others. Some lies were excuses (one subject blamed the failure to take out the garbage on not knowing where it needed to go). Yet other lies, such as a claim of being a diplomat's son, were aimed at presenting a false image. While these were minor transgressions, a later study by DePaulo and other colleagues involving a similar sample indicated that most people have, at some point, told one or more "serious lies", like hiding an affair from a spouse, or making false claims on a college application.

#6

How Does She Expect Anyone To Believe Her? My Mother Sent Me This From Our Neighborhood Facebook Group

How Does She Expect Anyone To Believe Her? My Mother Sent Me This From Our Neighborhood Facebook Group

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Samantha Lomb
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What I read here is "I fantasized about committing assault on strangers to to promote my snake oil"

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#8

And Then The Coronavirus Clapped

And Then The Coronavirus Clapped

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Something
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It may be "incredibly easy" according to this tweeter, but I'm pretty impressed by anyone who can accidentally swallow an entire mask by accident.

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Andy Acceber
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You do not keep the mask on while giving ********. Come on now. You would die. (Censored myself because I know there are kids on here.)

jgarza avatar
J Garza
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Are they saying "(real)" as a disclaimer to nobody believing they actually have a friend?

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Lauren Caswell
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

😂😂😂😂❤ omg these have mostly been annoying me but this made me laugh my ass off!

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Let’s Be Kind
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can’t tell you how many times I take a (real) deep breath, and the (real) force of that intake of (real) air causes both of the (real) elastic bands to get pulled off my (real) ears, and the entire mask gets sucked into my (real) mouth!

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Scagsy
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am relieved to hear that it's not just me that happens to.

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Paul Z.
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Took his ears right off! Nasty buggers to sow on. Especially the 2nd time.

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Michael Bartko
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Your friend (real) is doing it wrong. It goes over the OUTSIDE of the nose and mouth.

ceegspam avatar
CLG
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"incredibly easy to do." Ten bucks to anyone that can make swallowing a mask whole look easy to do.

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Robecca
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

‘Second time it’s happened’ 😂😂😂😂😂

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Orange is aging
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Now who did you think was going to believe that bullcrap?

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Kathryn Baylis
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Bet he does even bother to take the wrapper off the candy bar before he eats it. If this is true, which it’s not.

150073 avatar
Hot Babushka
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

who tf is out there inhaling their masks?? is the mask only a milometer in size? the person didn't even TRY to make it believable

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Ryan Deschanel
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow... your friend must be even more stupid than you, which is already pretty surprising.

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Ryan-James O'Driscoll
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I almost want this to be real just so I can be amused by the existence of someone that inept

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Asswipe
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes, it is incredibly easy to do if you cram it down your throat. Maybe these people who have this limited capability to take care of themself should be institutionalized so they do not kill themself by accident.

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Carol Gaudaur
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

even if the mask was candy, it would be hard to eat in one swallow

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James Souder
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

people who post this s**t shouldnt have their names blacked out

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Faith Nicole
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So the friend of yours is real and the rest is fake, got it. Sounds about right 😆

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Wednesday
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

the hospital my sister in law works at is on Divert for the ER because the ICU is already full of dying covid patients who believe bullshit like the stories above...

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Celtic Pirate Queen
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah. I have often inhaled cloth items that would have completely blocked my airway - MULTIPLE times.

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MilaFi
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If it's incredibly easy to swallow the mask, I'm surprised this friend isn't swallowing his tongue all the time.

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Shull GaRett
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OMG what would happen if that was actually an (imaginary) friend ;)

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Winx
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Seems like this one is probably intended to be a joke lol

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Llama_flower93
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My cat ate a dryer sheet once and then threw it up. You have to be pretty insane to do something like that accidentally.

noneanon avatar
Random Anon
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Lol if you can "accidentally" swallow a mask, you should be not allowed near any cutlery. Who knows how much silverware have been lost over the years.

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Ian Reynolds
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's crazy how I have nearly swallowed my mask, I think it's been zero times now, because I am not an idiot

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Jess Thompson
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think your (real) friend needs help or he will go extinct soon.

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Adrian
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well if the REAL friend swallows another mask and one of the loops catches around his tongue he probably will choke and this madness will not continue. I hope.

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Brunettechameleon
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If that’s the case then people would be choking on things that go near their face all the time lol. Like headphones, earrings, fake eyelashes, hair clips, etc. it’s hilarious how ridiculous of a story this person made.

015465 avatar
Jigsaw's Puzzle
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If he can swallow a mask I think you’ve got some other f*****g problems to deal with

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Karen Grace
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Can't decide if that (real) refers to having a real friend or that he really swallowed an entire mask. Maybe both?

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Šimon Špaček
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That is nothing, I saw a mask swallow a whole guy. He was just walking down the street and suddenly "whoomp!", nothing else left but mask on ground.

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DarkAngelNic
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Is your friend a Hoover? I might have some guy friends who may want to meet your friend. 😂

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Bacony Cakes
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i would put the big mouth logo here but i'm already on enough watchlists

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Jess Burgess
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I just love how they needed to clarify their friend is definitely real!

v_r_tayloryahoo_com avatar
v
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You say your "real" friend swallowed his entire mask and he could have choked? I can only assume that your "real" friend also, on a daily basis, multiple times, also swallows his entire drink and food. He also could have choked in the process of doing this. It seems to me that the safest course of action for your "real" friend, yourself and the rest of humanity is for your "real" friend and yourself to absolutely stop doing anything that remotely involves the action of swallowing anything. At least this way you and your "real" friend will never get near a "could have choked" situation. In the long run we'll all be better off for your actions and you will be cheered as a "true" hero to your society, locally and nationally.

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Celesta
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I love how they had to include "(real)". Also this happened two time. If your friend 3 years old and unsupervised, because any older they need to be seeking medical attention for way more than just Covid.

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Mari Bryant
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If I ever swallowed my mask "by accident" you can bet your bottom dollar it wouldn't happen twice.

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Donny
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Two questions, one, how small of a face do they have that their mask is tiny enough to inhale. Two, do they have ears, cause I feel like those would easily prevent this.

boredpanda_127 avatar
A
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've swallowed at least a dozen masks. It's fine. I'm fine.

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cookie panda
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

nobody: their friend (real): if I had a nickel for every time I swallowed my entire mask, I would have two nickels. which isn't a lot but its weird that it happened twice

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Jerry Lane
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Swallowed 2 masks. Really?!? Just swallowed them? Did he chew them?

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Earl Grey
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And then he accidentally swallowed his face. Thank god he didn’t choke.

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JuniorCJ82
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, it WON'T go on if your dipshit friend keeps swallowing them...

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Morgan Macsweeney
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i can barely swallow an advil... what!!? a mask?? and why?? wtf? wait..how does one do this? why would one even be in a position to "accidentally" swallow a mask?? also, ahem i guess its survival of the fittest/ smartest?

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Nicole Blomkamp
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I expect nothing less from someone who doesn't understand how capital letters work

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I’m A Black Cat
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Guys! I have the answer! He's friends with a garbage bin! His friend swallows masks and later feeds him garbage that goes straight to his brain

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Joanie
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I just swallowed my whole pizza by accident. The pie was so hot I blew on it to cool it off. On the subsequent tremendous inhale, the pizza folded up like an umbrella and down she went!

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Marco Conti
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I tried it once, the elastic is still lodged in my throat. Use Ketchup if you do that, it enhances the flavor.

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Hugh Walter
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Real? As apposed to all the fake friends you usually rely on for these fictions?!!!

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Robert Martens
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've done the same thing, tasted like cherry, wait, being told it was a fruit roll up.

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Rosemary Probert
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Don't tell me.... your friend is called Billy, he's got a beard and four hooves?

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KatHat
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The "real" is a very strong indicator that this is parody. Yes, I know these days Poe's Law applies almost everywhere. But still. I would lay money this one is not serious (and probably a number of others too). Without context it's almost impossible to tell.

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Sherbaan Naab
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They went beyond stupid. So far beyond, in fact, that they can't even see the stupid anymore. And, because of this, they think they are smart.

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kjorn
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

my brain can't process how much anti-vaxxer and anti-mask (basically any anti whathever) how much liars these people are.

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Jo Choto
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think even the most committed lunatic would have a very hard time swallowing a mask.

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Dwight k schrute.
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The funny thing about these posts is that these people actually think we believe them.

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John Ford
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm not on the same side as most you pandas. But this is ridiculous

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I I
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

STFU your "real" friend must be a real dumb ass if he swallowed a whole mask TWICE

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Researchers suggest that lying as a behavior arose pretty soon after the emergence of language. The ability to manipulate others without using physical force likely conferred an advantage in the competition for resources and mates, akin to the evolution of deceptive strategies in the animal kingdom, such as camouflage.

"Lying is so easy compared to other ways of gaining power," Sissela Bok, an ethicist at Harvard University who's one of the most prominent thinkers on the subject, told Nat Geo. "It's much easier to lie in order to get somebody's money or wealth than to hit them over the head or rob a bank.

"Experts are learning that we're prone to believe some lies even when they're easily contradicted by clear evidence. These insights suggest that our proclivity for deceiving others, and our vulnerability to being deceived, are especially consequential in the age of social media.

So in the case of r/ThatHappened, it's nice to see that we can still retain our ability to distinguish truth from fiction.

#10

Lady Who Lives In Massive Fantasy Land Goes To Disneyland

Lady Who Lives In Massive Fantasy Land Goes To Disneyland

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#11

Woman Finds Microchip In Her Son’s Mask!?

Woman Finds Microchip In Her Son’s Mask!?

IHaveNeverEatenACat Report

#12

Of All The Things That Didn't Happen, This Didn't Happen The Most

Of All The Things That Didn't Happen, This Didn't Happen The Most

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KJ
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Decided to turn lesbian, it's not like deciding to wear jeans instead of shorts today lol.

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#13

Mhmm, Yeah Sure It Was

Mhmm, Yeah Sure It Was

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Cecily Holland
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This one really annoys me! These self entitled, self absorbed mental midgets really think they have it that bad. It’s disrespectful and disgusting

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#14

This 2-Year-Old Must Have A Degree Already

This 2-Year-Old Must Have A Degree Already

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Otter
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My sympathies to that child, s/he's going to grow up having their needs ignored, because mum needs them to make her feel better about her life.

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#15

Everyone’s Worst Nightmare

Everyone’s Worst Nightmare

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#16

Oh Yeah. For Sure

Oh Yeah. For Sure

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Falcon dimi
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

but on the other hand she is probably still paying the hospital bills for the delivery of het son.

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#17

Brags To All Their Friends For Saving Their Life With Essential Oils

Brags To All Their Friends For Saving Their Life With Essential Oils

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#18

Discord Users Are A Different Breed

Discord Users Are A Different Breed

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Lauren Caswell
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Because we all know when the universe began, the big bang and all that, monkeys were already well established 🤦‍♀️ not even apes, he said monkeys. Zero effort

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#19

And All Vampires Clapped

And All Vampires Clapped

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#21

While These Children Weren’t Oxygen Starved, The Poster Was At Birth

While These Children Weren’t Oxygen Starved, The Poster Was At Birth

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KJ
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Weird how some folks wear one for a full shift and are fine, they must be ghosts or something I guess.

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#22

Found This On A “People Who Think Liking Harry Potter Is A Personality Trait” Fb Page

Found This On A “People Who Think Liking Harry Potter Is A Personality Trait” Fb Page

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#23

And Then Ben Franklin’s Image Clapped

And Then Ben Franklin’s Image Clapped

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#24

Well, That Saved Me A Goog!

Well, That Saved Me A Goog!

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Otter
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can believe that someone in a bar actually said that, after a beer or twelve.

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#25

I Won't Remember Posting This

I Won't Remember Posting This

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#27

Hate When People Underestimate The Condoms I Use In A Night Smh

Hate When People Underestimate The Condoms I Use In A Night Smh

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#28

This Has To Be A Joke, Right?

This Has To Be A Joke, Right?

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#29

Anti Vaxxers Are A Gold Mine

Anti Vaxxers Are A Gold Mine

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Samantha Lomb
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm positive this is the same person who would be convinced dihydrogen monoxide is super toxic too.

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#30

Then The Toys Clapped

Then The Toys Clapped

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Serial pacifist
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And then he cited Marx and refuted his argument with Hegel's counterargument!

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#32

Highly Doubt It

Highly Doubt It

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Ceph Alopod
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Out of all the things so far this one seems slightly plausible just due to sense of humor

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#34

She Also Happens To Be A Wannabe Travel/Wellness Influencer

She Also Happens To Be A Wannabe Travel/Wellness Influencer

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FromageFeet
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Because it wouldn’t be weird for a stranger to take pictures of you alone in a bikini without you being aware….not at all.

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#35

Sorry, What The Hell Did I Just Read?

Sorry, What The Hell Did I Just Read?

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Otter
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So... what? This guy wrote the story because he thinks that using frozen chicken parts is somehow more humane than killing chickens onsite? How does THAT make sense?

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#36

Cos A Dentist Has Enough Time To Watch An Entire Film Instead Of Working

Cos A Dentist Has Enough Time To Watch An Entire Film Instead Of Working

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Andy Acceber
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wish this one was true. I'd love a lunch break where you just sit and watch full-length movies in your waiting room.

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#37

I’m Sure They Jumped Another $15 An Hour For No Reason

I’m Sure They Jumped Another $15 An Hour For No Reason

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#39

Another Clueless Nitwit Who Thinks They're Smarter Than The Teacher

Another Clueless Nitwit Who Thinks They're Smarter Than The Teacher

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#41

Of Course They Said That

Of Course They Said That

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BananaJo
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Horrible histories taught me more than my history classes, I've been watching it since I was 6 and still watch it now w/ my little sister. Just wanted to share

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#42

“Lone Wolf” Beats Up 6 People

“Lone Wolf” Beats Up 6 People

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#45

Even Some Of The Commenters Are Feeling Sus

Even Some Of The Commenters Are Feeling Sus

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Otter
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you make $54 an hour, you can damn well afford something healthier for the family.

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#46

A Bunch Of People On The Comments Said That They Had Done Something Similar. Is This A Common Thing?

A Bunch Of People On The Comments Said That They Had Done Something Similar. Is This A Common Thing?

IbukisGuitar Report

#47

Woman Convinces Everyone At CVS To Take Off Their Masks - No Really This Happened I Was The One Clapping

Woman Convinces Everyone At CVS To Take Off Their Masks - No Really This Happened I Was The One Clapping

mojey6068 Report

#48

No One Liked That

No One Liked That

TheOwlsLie Report

#49

I Don’t Think So

I Don’t Think So

Midget_LlamaYT Report

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Chiuki
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

*cop arrests himself and apologizes* - clearly this dude's never dealt with cops. 500 of them would show up and ventilate you while shouting "stop resisting!"

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#50

Very Likely Story

Very Likely Story

Winter-Beans Report

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Chiuki
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

*calls uber* "I'm hiding behind the laundry truck - some guys are trying to hurt me"

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#52

Mlm Huns Need To Come Up With Better Lies

Mlm Huns Need To Come Up With Better Lies

Srosenbz Report

#54

The Waiter Literally Cried

The Waiter Literally Cried

rmks8285 Report

#55

Did The Whole Cafeteria Clap As Well?

Did The Whole Cafeteria Clap As Well?

reddit.com Report

#56

Real Gamer Girl

Real Gamer Girl

travvy_cott_borgar Report

#57

Maybe Believe If He Wasn't Complete Vermin

Maybe Believe If He Wasn't Complete Vermin

mnro Report

#58

I’m Literally Non-Binary And Have Never Felt Like I Was Misgendering A Fckn Chess Piece

I’m Literally Non-Binary And Have Never Felt Like I Was Misgendering A Fckn Chess Piece

one_paranoid_android Report

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Ray Martin
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In a game of chess there are an estimated 1,327 named openings and variants. If each of those opening gambits created an alternate timeline, in precisely none of them would this story be true.

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#59

And Then People Around The Neighborhood Clapped

And Then People Around The Neighborhood Clapped

ClownInYoDreams Report

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Something
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

But how will she inject essential oils to cure the doll's almond allergy? /s

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#60

Of Course It Did Deer

Of Course It Did Deer

That-Guy-J Report

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Arctic Fox Lover
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She's like "OHHH I'm so happy to be grabbing my phone that's in the bathroom for some reason that is also oh-so conveniently propped up against something with the camera app on!! Wait, whoa, hold on, did it just take this really well-lit picture of me while I was reaching in to grab it??? :0"

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#61

Kids Think He’s Walt Disney And He Can’t Bear To Tell Them Otherwise

Kids Think He’s Walt Disney And He Can’t Bear To Tell Them Otherwise

PeterParker72 Report

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troufaki13
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm pretty sure these children don't even know Walt Disney was a real person

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#62

"Accidentally Gave Myself The Vaccine" Via Twitter! Riiiiight

"Accidentally Gave Myself The Vaccine" Via Twitter! Riiiiight

galactiicpup Report

#63

Sure Thing Bruh Bruh

Sure Thing Bruh Bruh

notmypretzeldent Report

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Andy Acceber
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I could see this happening. I'd certainly be tempted to do that as an employee. (Though I also don't put up with nonsense and send line jumpers to the back.)

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#64

Yes I’m Sure That’s Why You Uploaded It

Yes I’m Sure That’s Why You Uploaded It

cas2ie Report

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Penelope
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Are the hashtags on this one supposed to be edgy and funny? Because they’re not.

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#65

A Kindergartner Can Definitely Say That

A Kindergartner Can Definitely Say That

CAUSTIC101 Report

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Something
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"How do countries come to go to war?" the little boy inquired, looking up from his book. "For various reasons," explained the father. "Now, there was Germany and Russia. They went to war because the Russians mobilized." "Not at all, my dear," the wife interrupted. "It was because the Austrians—" "Tut, tut, my love!" the husband remonstrated. "Don't you suppose I know?" "Certainly not—you are all wrong. It was because—" "Mrs. Perkins, I tell you it was because—" "Benjamin, you ought to know better, you have boggled—" "Your opinion, madam, has not been requested in this matter." "Shut up! I won't have my child mistaught by an ignoramus." "Don't you dare, you impudent—" "And don't you dare bristle at me, or I'll—" "Oh, never mind!" the little boy intervened. "I think I know now how wars begin."

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#66

I'm Sure Ya Did Buddy

I'm Sure Ya Did Buddy

Available_Cup_9588 Report

#67

Found This On Some Investment Entrepreneur Instagram Account

Found This On Some Investment Entrepreneur Instagram Account

TheCommunist_Scholar Report

#68

Docs Know You Are Educated

Docs Know You Are Educated

djteotancolis Report

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Something
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They probably do just look at them like 😳, but for other reasons.

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#69

Youtube Comments Are A Goldmine

Youtube Comments Are A Goldmine

emrednz07 Report

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Chiuki
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I sensed the presence of a dark web hacker, moving through my meme collection, but I warned him exactly where the porn was located which caused him to flee with fright. 🤨

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#71

Gay Shakespeare

Gay Shakespeare

Laprasnomore Report

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Andy Acceber
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There's gay fiction. When I was a teen, I had literally read ALL LGBTQ fiction in my local library. Times have changed. There are now more options out there than any one person could possibly read. Ask your local librarian or a google a reading list for suggestions. (Or, legit, ask me here. Be as specific as you want. I've probably read one I can recommend for your interest.)

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#72

Posted By A “Influencer” Do People Honestly Believe This S**t?

Posted By A “Influencer” Do People Honestly Believe This S**t?

reddit.com Report

#73

No Such Thing As Conflict Of Interest!

No Such Thing As Conflict Of Interest!

madcre Report

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Chiuki
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If your lawyer posts on social media that they're about to gang up with you against your soon-to-be-ex to "rip him off", you might have a better case. And you might want to consider finding a lawyer that actually passed the bar and knows the law. Just a suggestion.

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#74

And Everyoone Started Cheering

And Everyoone Started Cheering

wdymyname Report

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Something
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Of course none of them had their hearts broken. That never heals, so they'd be dead.

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#75

S**t Break Snacks In Fantasyland

S**t Break Snacks In Fantasyland

snarkicon Report

#76

Wise Worlds From A Wise 7 Year Old

Wise Worlds From A Wise 7 Year Old

laseurdenuit Report

#77

Freestyle Rapping During An Interview... Hmm!

Freestyle Rapping During An Interview... Hmm!

ImbibingandVibing Report

#78

Target Will Miss Them

Target Will Miss Them

uhm_i_dont_know Report

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Helen Haley
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This doesn't happen. What actually happens is antimaskers throwing themselves onto the floor in a fit like a toddler.

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#79

You Can't Take Crack Orally And It Doesn't Prevent You From Blinking

You Can't Take Crack Orally And It Doesn't Prevent You From Blinking

RedditSmokesCrack Report

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Chiuki
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People will take random pills from random people, but we're struggling to get people to get vaccinated? What the actual hell?

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#81

It's True Guys, I Was The Sign!

It's True Guys, I Was The Sign!

Fanfic_Galore Report

#82

A Mom Walking Up To A Stranger Toddler At A Playground To Call The Toddler Out As A Poser About Their Favorite Band

A Mom Walking Up To A Stranger Toddler At A Playground To Call The Toddler Out As A Poser About Their Favorite Band

TheeOxygene Report

#83

Yeaaa Okay. I’m Not Too Sure About This

Yeaaa Okay. I’m Not Too Sure About This

ImbibingandVibing Report

#84

Because That's Totally Something They Can Do

Because That's Totally Something They Can Do

smokefan4000 Report

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Andy Acceber
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, that's not a thing. Some of us white people just want to be oppressed so badly. *facepalm*

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#85

“Accidentally” Accessed The Dark Web

“Accidentally” Accessed The Dark Web

awol-onion Report

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Ray Martin
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes, and you tell them "Please take me away, because I'm too stupid to be walking around free". It's not possible to access the dark web "on accident (sic)"

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#86

Man Ran Because Of A Belt

Man Ran Because Of A Belt

Dsp5_ Report

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Andy Acceber
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Is this really how conservatives think the Black Lives Matter movement works?

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#87

We Divorced Because My Kid Lied

We Divorced Because My Kid Lied

The-Holy-Sheep-3 Report

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Chiuki
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So the divorce had reached terminal velocity and couldn't be stopped.

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#88

Then The Whole House Clapped

Then The Whole House Clapped

jml1877 Report

#89

Does This Belong Here?

Does This Belong Here?

nolitos Report

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Chiuki
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"I was stalked by an imaginary hot girl, but I told her I was too shallow to talk to her". Imaginary girl dodge a bullet.

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#90

I Believe You

I Believe You

haggis_man1213 Report

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Lady Vader
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If there was any way at all that this was true, it would be fkn hilarious!! 🤣

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#91

Proud Mama Bird

Proud Mama Bird

The_OwO_Is_Comin Report

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Stoopham McFernybabes
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My son would say something like that. The part I don’t believe is the nurse kissing the kid.

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#92

I Vibe With Wanting Live Childfree But This Is Just Sad

I Vibe With Wanting Live Childfree But This Is Just Sad

Indominus_Khanum Report

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Gelato Cat
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Trust bp to post an article about childless people and this in the same day lol

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#93

Found This On Instagram Today And Thought Of You Guys

Found This On Instagram Today And Thought Of You Guys

420_420_man Report

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Bianca Saville
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is not far fetched. There are kids like that and I'm lucky when I get to teach them.

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#94

A Girl Posted In My Pe Class That Her Mile Run Was 4 Minutes And 39 Seconds... What?

A Girl Posted In My Pe Class That Her Mile Run Was 4 Minutes And 39 Seconds... What?

wispy-cloud Report

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Chiuki
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Then the Olympic Committee called and offered me a million dollars.

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#95

Give Me A Break

Give Me A Break

Haleylumlum Report

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Helen Haley
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A teacher trying to be encouraging, I could see that happening. I could also see an egocentric teenager taking it like this.

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