Søren Kierkegaard said, "Marry, and you will regret it; don't marry, you will also regret it; marry or don't marry, you will regret it either way."
Although it can be difficult to get over, regret is a fundamental part of the human experience. So, interested in people's past choices that continue to linger in their minds, Reddit user ThickEmployee8948 asked everyone on the platform who's 30 and older to share the (in)actions they cannot forget.
The discussion that followed serves as a reminder that we cannot change the past — only learn from it.
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Nothing. The person you were back then would always make the same exact decisions given the information you were aware of at the time. I don’t have regrets in life. I can only change now.
THIS is EXACTLY my philosophy!!! I've things I wish that could've been different but they couldn't be if I wanted to wind up where I did and I do cuz I'm AWESOME now
Started smoking cigarettes. Did it for about 30 years although I've quit now. Don't do it kids !
Staying in shape. It is so much harder later in life to keep up. lose weight and all the rest.
TEETH
Wish I’d Brushed and flossed more regularly, gone to the dentist every six months; etc.
Standing up for myself.
I lived way too long trying to make others happy and letting them manipulate me
My family used this to their fullest advantage
I stopped it now but wish I had the backbone 20 years ago.
My wife and I never had that problem. But. You lose a lot of family, friends along the way. Meaning, you will pay a price and need to accept that.
This is a little complicated, but I wish I had been able to come to terms with not caring what people think of me when I was younger. It did wonders for my confidence.
Not learning a second language—I regret not taking the time to become bilingual when it would have been easier.
Quit drinking. Alcohol sucks and it’s really bad for you. Wasn’t an alcoholic, just got really bad hangovers and anxiety after drinking. Haven’t had a sip in 51 weeks.
Not prioritizing financial literacy—I wish I had learned more about money management and investing at a younger age.
When I was younger when first presented with a 401K plan, I didn't understand what that was about. Wish I would have ask questions and started one back in my 20's. Wish had kept it up. Way my life turned out not sure how it would have worked out though. I am retired now but not sure if I would be better off financiall y
My friends and I talked about doing a 2-3 week Europe trip back in our 20s. “Oh maybe next year”. Eventually jobs, bills and families put all that to rest.
I did it with 5 friends, 04 weeks. Hands down the best trip of my life. Well worth it I worked for it and it was one of the best money I've ever spent.
Not taking my education seriously.
After you get your education and a degree you will discover all that knowledge is just the foundation for what you need to know in the real work world. If you do not have that foundational knowledge you will be a failure in the real world. The rest of your life will be all about learning new things and dealing with new problems. Better get the most out of your school experience.
I wish I had treated myself with respect, and taken my mental health seriously. I'm doing that now and it's making a big difference. .
I regret doing what my parents expected of me instead of what I wanted to do.
I regret buying into the workplace b******t when I was younger.
Being the 'goto' guy isn't going to put food on the table.
It's not going to pay your medical bills.
It's not gonna get you that promotion.
Unless you have a contract stating *x* will get you *y* do NOT go out of your way to 'help' businesses.
Don't be lazy, but don't be consistently picking up other peoples slack or rushing to put out 'fires'.
I regret thinking that nice things were not for people like me. The number of experiences, travel, career opportunities I turned down is crazy. All because I didn't think I was good enough to deserve them.
I once turned down a job at a vets office due to my low self esteem. I took a terrible low wage dead end job in a greasy spoon instead. The owner kept calling me and asking if I was sure . I really wanted that job but felt I would screw it up. 20 years later I am still working dead end garbage jobs. All because of low self esteem from growing up in a negative insulting environment.
Wear Sunscreen.
For a time I felt a bit strange, returning from vacation in France and not being as tanned as others. Now (at 57)... I am just glad.
I'm currently estranged from my parents. They have the ability to end this at any time, they just won't.
They controlled me all through my childhood and I kept chasing approval from them. I missed out on so many experiences because I wanted to be an obedient good kid.
I wish I had done more stupid s**t when I was younger. D***s, sex, rock and roll. Instead, I was consumed with panic attacks over losing my 4.0 and now that I'm a burnt out gifted kid in my thirties, I really struggle to relate to people my own age.
Yeah, finding what YOU want is hard when parents try to instill their views. Honestly. F*ck 'em. If they do not love you for what you are, they are the problem.
Dealing with my trauma instead of running from it.
This one is as true as it is easier said that done. So so so important to actually deal with things in the long run.
Not realizing how quickly needing to be an adult creeps up on you. I remember being 17 and thinking 30 was so far away. Now I’m closing in on 40 and wishing I had done more to prep for being an adult.
Not keeping in touch with old friends. Thought we’d reconnect easily, but everyone drifted apart and got busy with their own lives.
Not taking school seriously, not learning to play an instrument, not chosing a sport and sticking to it.
If they made school more interesting I would have, but basically memorizing useless c**p never did it for me.
Letting fear hold me back from trying new things or taking on challenges—I wish I had embraced uncertainty and failure as opportunities for growth.
This is a big one for me. I let fear of failure or embarrassment keep me from doing the things I wanted and now it's too late
Not being unapologetically myself.
"You might as well be yourself. Everyone else is taken." - Oscar Wilde (attributed)
Not taking breaks to recharge—I wish I had recognized the importance of rest and relaxation for overall well-being.
Same! I crashed an burned so hard at 40! Still not back to work getting close to 2 years...
TAKE CARE OF YOUR HEALTH BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE.
If you are young and having back issues or any other chronic or not problem you HAVE to take care of this before it spirals out of control. you may think you're tough and push through it now or that they will go away but these types of problems can slowly get worse and worse and creep up on you.
I am currently living with the consequences of this. I feel like I am 90 and I have at least 4 major health issues at the moment and I don't even know where to start. if I had tackled my neck issues when I was younger my life would be a lot better right now.
EDIT - all these stories I feel them. I remember coming to the realization that no it is not in fact normal to have back pain when you're young. I remember having to stop and sit down when I was like 14 whenever I walked any distances. it was like having someone stick a broomstick in your back super hard. I just lived through the pain thinking that it would eventually go away like a moron. I am 30 now and doing the dishes aggravates my neck so badly that I nearly have to lay down after doing them. I am lucky that my situation allows me to be flexible and lay down when I need to.
EDIT - a youngun might see this but ladies out there! I had this friend in high school that had some pain in her uterus and it turned into a living nightmare of pain. if you young ladies reading this have pain in your uterus, ovaries etc or really strange crazy periods you NEED to see a doctor. these things can turn life threatening.
I have modified my diet, swim every day, do back exercises and stretches everyday, meditate. All now habits that my lousy health forced me into doing. It was either take good care of myself or be dead.
Travel. One you have a family, career, mortgage payments, etc, the time, resources and energy for travel just seemed to disappear.
Not learning to manage stress and anxiety—I wish I had developed healthy coping mechanisms earlier in life.
My grandmother died and left me - and only me - a sizeable inheritance. The same year I had just finished chemo and thought perhaps a windfall was an upswing. I knew my grandmother a little, but I left home pretty early and enlisted after that, so we never had a relationship really - but I got out and away, and the rest of our family were vipers, which was enough to put me at the top.
My brother, feeling left out, challenged the will, and emptied his savings doing so. I offered him half, but he felt entitled to all of it. At the end of it, penniless and desperate, my brother ended his own life. Most of the money was eaten up in court, and what was left wasn't much.
If you ever receive news of an inheritance or windfall, please consider that your family may destroy itself in pursuit of the money. Even if they're going to act that way anyway, you will at least be able to sleep at night.
Not standing up for causes I believe in—I wish I had been more vocal and active in advocating for social justice and equality.
my university held a free Palestine protest on campus yesterday. however, i did not go or interact, i (a black person) watched from the distance. why? because everybody there was white. if i or my other brown bodied friends even interacted, we would have been targeted by city police. i have not even gone to a BLM protest, as I am scared of being targeted/arrested/wrongly prejudiced. make protests safer for POCs, then I will be able to fight for what I believe in. until then, my safety comes first in a country where I am a minority.
Note: this post originally had 55 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.
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I wish I never had anorexia. I’ve lost almost all the volume in my hair. I wish I’d never tried to OD because now I have permanent stomach problems. I wish I’d not spent my high school wallowing in depression because I missed out on everything, sports, friends, hobbies, first relationships. I wish I’d done better in high school because my GPA from then is so bad I barely got into a community college (I worked my a*s off senior year so I’d pass).
I'm so sorry to hear this. I struggled with anorexia for a majority of my life. You'd never believe it now, I hardly do, but I've managed to have a healthy relationship with food for almost two years now! Wish you all the best. Please hang in there. Sometimes things do get better. Hugs.
Load More Replies...
Mine: when you have health problems and doctors dismiss them, go elsewhere. My back is f****d and I will need spinal surgery. All through my twenties I was told "do these physio" exercises that will help. Went to new doctors after relocating. Sent for a scan, doctor couldn't believe the scarring and damage and how I'd been functioning at all. Currently I can't even work.
I wish I had never discovered sugary treats, chocolate etc., and watching tv as a hobby. My family moved just after 6th grade for me, so I lost all my friends, I had social anxiety (not that my mom acknowledged mental health issues) and trouble meeting new people and making friends. So I made friends with cable TV and Little Debbie and her friend - still my weakness to this day - strawberry fruit roll-ups. My mom always had them in the house...and cakes and cookies...because my dad loved them. I gained weight and lost any self confidence I had, which wasn't much, admittedly. I've struggled with my weight, self respect and confidence my whole life. I'm 44 now. My dad had type 2 diabetes before he died at the age of 62 from heart failure when he tried to quit smoking at the beginning of 2018. All this to say, I wish I had never discovered my sweet tooth and hope someday to have it removed so I stop craving sugar the way I do. It'll probably kill me the same way it did my dad.
I wish I never had anorexia. I’ve lost almost all the volume in my hair. I wish I’d never tried to OD because now I have permanent stomach problems. I wish I’d not spent my high school wallowing in depression because I missed out on everything, sports, friends, hobbies, first relationships. I wish I’d done better in high school because my GPA from then is so bad I barely got into a community college (I worked my a*s off senior year so I’d pass).
I'm so sorry to hear this. I struggled with anorexia for a majority of my life. You'd never believe it now, I hardly do, but I've managed to have a healthy relationship with food for almost two years now! Wish you all the best. Please hang in there. Sometimes things do get better. Hugs.
Load More Replies... Mine: when you have health problems and doctors dismiss them, go elsewhere. My back is f****d and I will need spinal surgery. All through my twenties I was told "do these physio" exercises that will help. Went to new doctors after relocating. Sent for a scan, doctor couldn't believe the scarring and damage and how I'd been functioning at all. Currently I can't even work.
I wish I had never discovered sugary treats, chocolate etc., and watching tv as a hobby. My family moved just after 6th grade for me, so I lost all my friends, I had social anxiety (not that my mom acknowledged mental health issues) and trouble meeting new people and making friends. So I made friends with cable TV and Little Debbie and her friend - still my weakness to this day - strawberry fruit roll-ups. My mom always had them in the house...and cakes and cookies...because my dad loved them. I gained weight and lost any self confidence I had, which wasn't much, admittedly. I've struggled with my weight, self respect and confidence my whole life. I'm 44 now. My dad had type 2 diabetes before he died at the age of 62 from heart failure when he tried to quit smoking at the beginning of 2018. All this to say, I wish I had never discovered my sweet tooth and hope someday to have it removed so I stop craving sugar the way I do. It'll probably kill me the same way it did my dad.
