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30 Parents Open Up About Playdates That Went So Bad No One Could’ve Predicted It
When you are a parent, you have a lot of responsibilities of many kinds. One of them is to make sure your kid is growing up properly in all areas, including their physical and emotional development.
There are plenty of ways to ensure that – for example, by organizing playdates. Sounds like a fun thing to do, doesn't it? Well, it can be until it's not... And that's what we're discussing today. So, without further ado, let's jump in, shall we?
More info: mumsnet
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#1
A child lured my elderly dog over with a pizza crust and then smacked her in the face.
I had this child back at her own house in about 10 minutes.
RELATED:
#2
I went to a baby play date and learned halfway through the mother was horrifically racist.
Let her know I did not agree with what she was saying and left.
Awful, she was a police officer too.
#3
Called by a stranger to pick oldest DD up from her friends house 5am one Sunday morning.
They'd been raided by the police for money laundering.
The Majestic Opossum 1 month ago
Is it bad that I was relieved when I saw it was just for money laundering?
Raising a child is no easy job. After all, you are responsible for a little person – and not only for their day-to-day well-being, but for them to become a good and well-adjusted person in the long run, too. That means you’re supposed to do everything in your power that’s best for the child's development.
Depending on the kid's age, the things they need in this area the most depend on some scale. For instance, with newborns, parents should seek to establish emotional security by constantly keeping them nearby, letting them get accustomed to their parents’ voices, swaddling them to save them from any movements that can be harmful, and so on.
#4
Worst playdate was dd's friend who pulled every piece of clothing off all hangers and out of drawers. She also emptied every single box she could find e.g. game boxes and boxes of stuff, in the middle of the bedroom floor. When her mum came upstairs she just smiled and said that, it was nice they were having a good time?!!! I said there was a big mess and could they both help put some back? They suddenly had to leave! Never invited them back again!
The Majestic Opossum 1 month ago
Oof, I hate to think what the state of that kids bedroom (or house) is if that's what she's taught is acceptable behavior.
#5
My daughter was at her friend's and their dog jumped up and clawed her tummy and chest and pushed her over. The dad said it's the dog's house not hers so he can do what he wants.
Needless to say she never went back.
Ellinor she/they/elle 1 month ago
Animals are members of the family but they are still animals with instincts, claws and fangs. If they harm anyone (that didn't provoke or harmed them) then their owner absolutely should do something.
#6
The worst one, for the child, I ever had was a child with recently separated parents who came to ours for a play date after school. Mum said dad would collect her at 6.30. At 7pm I rang dad and he said he was in hospital having had minor surgery and mum knew this. Rang mum to be told "it's dad's weekend, ring him". We ended up with an impromptu sleepover and Dad's parents (who lived 4 hours away) collected her in the morning. Mum finally apologised about 6 weeks later after she told her sister what had happened and her sister lambasted her for putting her child, and us, in the middle of the squabble.
Then, with time, more development responsibilities are added on. Parents have to start teaching their kids to make decisions, to develop and expand their language, and to advance their imagination and creativity, to name a few.
One of the ways parents can do all of this is by letting their children play and have play buddies. That’s where the phenomenon of “playdates” starts to matter. As the name kind of suggests, a playdate is an informal gathering for kids to socialize, play, and develop friendships.
#7
At 6 my DS had a playdate in which the little friend bit me on the hand. It wasn't a hard bite; just enough to scrape my hand. The father of the child stood by and did nothing, even as he was being kicked. He wasn't invited back.
Somebodys grandmother 1 month ago
That kid was frustrated and problaply not treated decent anywhere. It is sad to read...
#8
Another mum from our baby group invited us for an afternoon play date. She and I each had a 2yo and a baby. I assumed we would supervise the 2yos playing, have a chat, and parent our own babies. She left me in the lounge with all 4 kids whilst she disappeared into the kitchen to make a fish pie from scratch for her family’s dinner.
#9
When our eldest was at primary a friend from her class came to our house straight from school. Mum was due to collect Her at 7.30.
By 8.00 when Mum hadn’t collected her she said
“ oh she’s probably gone in town with vodka in her bag!
By 10 we hadn’t managed to contact her Mum. Didn’t want her to just stay over without any bedtime stuff or permission.
Whilst we were deciding what to do my DH realised he knew her dad from a sport they both played
( unusual surname)
Mum and dad weren’t together and dad didn’t sound surprised at all. Came to pick her up when we rang him. He was so apologetic.
Your poor son OP that’s grim!
The Majestic Opossum 1 month ago
Poor kid & dad... That's when "split custody" needs to become "sole custody"
Some say that playdates are among the most important things for childhood development, as depriving a kid of playdates can result in them lacking a plethora of skills and having mental health problems in the long run.
For instance, isolation can have a very negative impact on a kid. Without social interaction, children miss out on important learning experiences that playdates typically provide. Besides the friendship development we already mentioned, playdates also contribute toward kids’ capabilities in conflict resolution and in developing empathy, language skills, and creativity.
#10
Play date where the Mum tried to sell me a MLM. Very pushy.
Something to do with Aloe Vera. Forever Living? Can’t remember properly.
She practically took me hostage!
#11
Dunno, could be the bucket of water they threw down my stairs, the one child who ate so much food she proceeded to vomit or the one who insisted on chasing my child around spitting food at them. Not the same child. All three had their parents called and never came back.
Anthony Elmore 1 month ago
If their reasoning was anything like mine: That's just how you clean up a mess. Dump a bucket of water down the hall and suddenly the hall is clean. Whoops. What do you mean the water can leak through the ceiling?
#12
DD was 4. Invited to first ever playdate. She was so excited. Both the other kids parents were there and they put on lovely M&S food for the kids, really nice pizza and snacks etc. looked amazing. DD took one look at the food and declared loudly that this was the worst food she had ever had!! I was mortified. It was so out of character and to this day I have no idea where that came from as it was (and is) so unlike her to be rude. Don't think BF parents ever really forgave us. Used to cross the road to avoid us after that. Took about 4 years to get invited again but don't think they ever liked DD really after that and who can blame them lmao 🤣
Mel in Georgia 1 month ago
I don't know if I would ban a 4-year-old for saying something rude. I would just use it as a teaching moment. Kids that age don't have filters.
Playdates can take place at a variety of locations, from homes to parks to dedicated indoor areas. It all depends on the parents’ creativity, flexibility, finances, and all things like that.
Yet, even if parents organize it all to a T, it doesn’t guarantee that it will go smoothly. At the end of the day, kids are kids, and they can be rather unpredictable.
#13
I had a friend come round to play with her 3 year old. My DS was potty trained so I didn't have a changing mat out, friend took her DS to change his nappy in the downstairs toilet and didn't ask me for anything, I thought nothing of it.
Luckily I walked past at the "right time" to see him laid on the hand towel from in there while she wiped his bum. The door was open because there wouldn't be space to close it while he laid down, I'd assumed she changed him standing up like I did when my DS was an older toddler.
She hung it back up and didn't say a word to me. So if I hadn't popped past we'd have happily carried on using that same towel 🤮
#14
DD came home from a play date having had her ponytail cut off by the friend!
Ellinor she/they/elle 1 month ago
Well to be honest I did that once when I was 6, but because she asked me to cut it !
#15
At about age four, DS1 was invited to a playdate with a set of boy/girl twins the same age. I didn't know the family well, but liked the mum so thought it'd be nice to get the DC together. DS and the boy twin hit it off and played beautifully together. Unfortunately, girl twin got very jealous about this. Firstly she threw sand in DS's face, which might or mightn't have been an accident and could've been nasty but luckily DS wasn't too bothered. Then a bit later she shoved DS into the garden shed and locked him in! He was only stuck in there for a couple of minutes, but I decided enough was enough at that stage and we went home. That friendship never did progress.
Purple Gurl 1 month ago
Am I the only one confused abut the DS, DC, etc.? It gets really confusing
That means that while sometimes a playdate can go like a knife through butter, with kids and parents getting along, having the time of their lives, other times it can turn into a hangout from hell. That’s exactly what today’s list is all about – ways playdates can go very south very quickly.
All of these stories were shared by parents when they were asked about them on an online forum. And what we can say is that all of the stories are entertaining in their own ways. Do you have any additional ones? We would love to read them in the comments!
#16
I remember going on a play date aged 10 or 11 and the girl’s 15 year old brother came into her room and made a lot of s****lly inappropriate comments and then we all watched a highly inappropriate film together. That was very uncomfortable. Wouldn’t have occurred to me to tell my parents. Wouldn’t even have known how to raise the subject.
Mel in Georgia 1 month ago
This is why all children should be taught at an early age what inappropriate behavior is and how to deal with it. It's a tough, but necessary conversation.
#17
I took dd to a childminders for a play date once. They had a soft play area in their house but it was really scuzzy. They also made loads of pizzas but I walked in when they were rearranging the pizzas in the oven and they put one on the kitchen floor!!! The floor was very dirty. We declined the food and made a hasty exit.
#18
Best friend came round with her then 2 year old (I had a 1 year old for context). She refused to disicipline him. In the 45 minutes they were here the child had pulled my living room voiles down (fixed with a tension rod), broke my husbands brand new Alexa, ate 2 chunks out of my candles, grabbed my rabbit and tried to pick her up by her ears and broke some of my sons toys. Needless to say, we only have outdoor play dates now.
#19
When my eldest DD was around 10 years old, she was invited to her friends house to play for the day. When DD got home, she announced she was starving - so I asked what she had eaten whilst she was at her friends.....
"Nothing" she replied.
Friends mum had made lunch, and left DD upstairs whilst the friend and mum and dad all ate downstairs. They didn't even ask if she wanted a flaming biscuit. 🙄
#20
It wasn’t my worst play date but probably was for the mother and child that came to my place one day.
My DS and her DS were about 5 or 6 and were swimming in our pool. The mother and I were just sitting by the pool watching them.
Friend does a massive poo in the pool and the mother was unable to get it out as she had cerebral palsy and physically couldn’t.
She was very embarrassed but it was not issue for me as being a pool owner with a lot of local and friends kids over all the time I had to remove poos quite a few times.
I did feel for her and tried to tell her it wasn’t an issue but she left soon after
#21
My DS6 friend from school mum asked if he could have her Ds also 6 over night. Failed to tell me her son slept with the light on, had to have an adult sit with him till he fell asleep, wakes up around 3am and expects to be cuddled back to sleep!!! Only eats specific things for breakfast and couldn’t get himself dressed!! If I had have known the answer would have been no!!!
Mel in Georgia 1 month ago
We watched a neighbor's kids overnight for the first time with the promise that they would watch ours sometime. We weren't told that they were extremely picky eaters, and no one in my family was very picky so I wasn't expecting any problems in feeding them. I fixed plain chicken, peas and noodles for dinner. They wouldn't eat a bite and literally cried while I scrambled to find them something else to eat. Needless to say, there was no reciprocal offer.
#22
Went to a kids party (I thin it was a 3rd) where the birthday girl “had an accident” (#2) on the floor and another kid walked through it and spread it halfway down the hallway. Grim
#23
I don't know if this counts cos i was (almost) an adult when it happened. I had ben invited to a pool party of a school friend, she was very odd girl but i kept giving her the benefit of the doubt. not long after arriving at the party, having a drink and a swim, without my knowledge she went into my bag and using my phone called my mother and told her i was blind drunk and could she came at get me, my Mum walked into the garden and could tell just by looking at me that i was completely sober (I had had half a bottle of light beer) so left. Later on the hostess pushed me into the pool with my clothes on, yelled at me for petting her dog. I got stuck in the bathroom and had to climb out the window. I haven't seen nor contacted or been contacted by that girl since.
#24
Not me, but a friends daughter had a play date, aged about 7/8. She told me she'd left the 2 girls playing upstairs, and they made her a lovely collage by cutting up all the photos out of a photo album 😱
#25
One kid who I can’t even remember now (I’ve blocked it out) who came for a loooonnnggg 2 hours after school and basically didn’t want to do anything with my son. He just kept coming to me and asking me to play with him, or asking dumb questions or asking for food and drinks (they'd already got snacks and drinks and I was busy preparing tea and he just wanted to be in everything I was doing).
He wasn’t interested in anything my son was doing or playing, or the tv, or the garden, he just basically needed constant attention - only from me.
He never got invited back.
#26
The worst ones we’ve had involved a child scribbling all over the wall in ds’s room while I answered the door to his mum. The same child also mixed up the play dough in to one homogenous lump of brown.
Ellinor she/they/elle 1 month ago
My cousin is allowed to draw and paint on 2 walls in her house but she knows that it's the limit and also not something to do at other's houses. Also mixing someone else's play-dough is just rude.
#27
Worse one was when dd friend came over then proceeded to tell everyone at school our house was tiny and untidy. Never had that with any of her three older siblings. Made worse by the fact that playdate child lives down the road in a almost identical house.
When ds was a baby we had a NCT meet up for lunch where one mum bought her sick baby and almost everyone ( except me and ds) caught noro virus. Nothing that's been totally horrendous luckily.
#28
Oh I've loads
DD bitten by a dog
We hosted a playdate, three kids and their mother stayed for five hours. It was raining too, so we were indoors. Felt like I'd been in a blender once they left.
Went to collect a child to go to an outdoor festival in winter (live abroad, minus 20 in winter), he was at another kid's house. So we had to go to fetch him, then he only had super thin summer clothes on?!?! Told him to go and put snow pants on.
Etc etc
#29
Had an after school play date where the nice boy’s younger brother was also left with us, no warning. Younger brother (age 6 or 7) just followed me around, then looked up at me and asked “Why ARE you so fat?” NB I’m not huge. It had clearly been a topic of conversation he’d heard.
School friend refused to eat anything but meat, so they eventually had the steak we were planning to have that evening. The mum (rich, not nice school gate Queen Bee) arrived to pick up, plonked herself down at out table like it was her house and did a smarmy- judgemental she’s-better-than-me chat.
Thank God she didn’t have the class to offer a return play date.
detective miller's hat 1 month ago (edited)
Do these people not know you're allowed to say "no" and politely tell someone they need to leave??
#30
Picked up my daughter and her friend form Pre school. As it was a sunny day and the friend was complaining of a headache we decided to stop pat the park first to blow off the cobwebs. After a few minutes the friend came up to me and said she didn't feel well so I told her to sit on the bench while I got my baby out of the swing. My daughter went and sat with her then I heard screaming and my daughter ran over to me crying. Her friend had projectile vomited all over herself and my daughter's leg! I have emetophobia so went into panic mode. Thankfully the mum (also a close friend) lived 30 seconds from the park, so I walked her home to her mum, then took my kid home and bleached them both from head to toe! (read bathed).
Just glad she did it at the park and not in my house!
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What do you think ?
Marky G 1 month ago (edited)
Far too much DH, DD, DS etc bull to be able to read more than the first couple of entries ^^
Fat Harry (Oi / You) 1 month ago
It's a stupid Mumsnet thing (which I expect is where this article is lifted from). It's "Darling Husband", "Darling Son", "Darling Daughter", etc. It's nauseating.
Load More Replies...
StarCrossedFriday 1 month ago
When I was 5 we’d just moved to the UK from the Netherlands, and only a few weeks in this girl from my new class came round for a play date. Only she became increasingly frustrated that I couldn’t actually speak English yet (my mum was translating everything, and had explained the situation ), and eventually went from super upset to insanely angry, and started to get physical with a very confused me. At that point I think my mum called hers…
The Majestic Opossum 1 month ago
Maybe I'm the AH here (I usually am), but most of these seemed like overreactions to toddlers doing weird toddler things. And, did anyone else read the initial post that asked for stories? It seems like if they were just playing in the garden that it was obviously fertiliser on him and not dog p*o...
Jedi Panda 1 month ago
The DS DD DC DH stuff is driving me nuts. Just call people people, It's not hard.
Mreoww 1 month ago
When I was like 10/11, my school friend came over to my house, but so did her little brother who was maybe 3-5 (I can’t actually remember). He was so ravenous. He probably would have emptied our entire fridge if he could. My mom was bringing me and my friend some food, and he trailed after her, thinking it was for him. This was AFTER he’d already eaten a lot. He also managed to dirty our wall.
Nova Rook 1 month ago
One time when I was maybe 8 or 9 I went over to the weird kids house to hang out. His mom asked us if we wanted some coke and then asked if we wanted it in the bottle - I was good with both. She brought us the coke in baby bottles, the ones with the rubber nipples (are their other types? I dunno). I felt really uncomfortable and noped out of there and never went back. They were weird.
Marky G 1 month ago (edited)
Far too much DH, DD, DS etc bull to be able to read more than the first couple of entries ^^
Fat Harry (Oi / You) 1 month ago
It's a stupid Mumsnet thing (which I expect is where this article is lifted from). It's "Darling Husband", "Darling Son", "Darling Daughter", etc. It's nauseating.
Load More Replies... StarCrossedFriday 1 month ago
When I was 5 we’d just moved to the UK from the Netherlands, and only a few weeks in this girl from my new class came round for a play date. Only she became increasingly frustrated that I couldn’t actually speak English yet (my mum was translating everything, and had explained the situation ), and eventually went from super upset to insanely angry, and started to get physical with a very confused me. At that point I think my mum called hers…
The Majestic Opossum 1 month ago
Maybe I'm the AH here (I usually am), but most of these seemed like overreactions to toddlers doing weird toddler things. And, did anyone else read the initial post that asked for stories? It seems like if they were just playing in the garden that it was obviously fertiliser on him and not dog p*o...
Jedi Panda 1 month ago
The DS DD DC DH stuff is driving me nuts. Just call people people, It's not hard.
Mreoww 1 month ago
When I was like 10/11, my school friend came over to my house, but so did her little brother who was maybe 3-5 (I can’t actually remember). He was so ravenous. He probably would have emptied our entire fridge if he could. My mom was bringing me and my friend some food, and he trailed after her, thinking it was for him. This was AFTER he’d already eaten a lot. He also managed to dirty our wall.
Nova Rook 1 month ago
One time when I was maybe 8 or 9 I went over to the weird kids house to hang out. His mom asked us if we wanted some coke and then asked if we wanted it in the bottle - I was good with both. She brought us the coke in baby bottles, the ones with the rubber nipples (are their other types? I dunno). I felt really uncomfortable and noped out of there and never went back. They were weird.
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