40 Posts About “Genius” Kids That Are So Clearly Lies, It’s Embarrassing (New Pics)
Parents are likely the most biased people when it comes to their children. Reasonably so—every achievement, no matter how big or small, seems special when it’s your kid. That might be one of the reasons moms and dads want to let the whole world know about it.
However, some of them take it one step too far, and make such accomplishments sound a little too impressive. Reddit’s 'Woke Kids' community boasts an entire collection of examples like this. We gathered them into another list covering children’s extraordinary behavior that just seems too good to be true. If you haven’t yet seen the first edition, make sure to check it out here.
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Folding Laundry, Being Woke, And Cackling. Work Done
It’s Mushier Than That
Everyone Clapped And Asked For Consent
I can actually see this happening - kids have just had a (very important) lesson on the importance of consent, class joker decides to be funny, and you have a tweet ready to be sent.
This Isnt The Most Unbelievable Thing, But
Damn Right
Daughter Starts A Whole Protest
First Graders Are Known For Thought-Provoking Sociological Commentary
Ballsy (Or ‘Flatsy’ Since Kiddo Is A Flat-Earther) Statement
Kid Has Got A Point
Depending on the age, a kid could’ve actually written this. However chances are if it was a kid they wrote it trying to be a smart a**e
Under A Post About Stranger Things Using The Word “Eskimo”
I Do Not Like This Mother
Wait until she sees barbie and comments on the nonsensical beauty standard
And Then Everybody Clapped
A Totally Real Question About Santa
5yo Starts An Airline Business
I can’t believe a 5 year old would say that. Source: I am 5 years old.
Unattended 7yo At The Park
Mom & Dad Please Ban Gas Stoves!!
This looks exactly like how I wrote my cats' valentine's day cards "from" them to my ex - I wrote them with my non-dominant hand, with purposeful misspellings XD ...I'm 40
Yep I Bet She Did
Yeah For Some Reason I Doubt That
Having been a nanny I buy this; seven-year-olds will use any excuse to start screaming about poop.. and annoyingly imitate obnoxious YouTube videos.
And Then He Joined The Foreign Legion
He's The Chosen One
Son that guy from the church isn't God and where he touched you isn't your heart
I Totally Believe Her Little Kid Said This. I Remember My Daughter’s First Words Were About The Socio-Political Landscape She Would Have To Overcome As A Woman
Ok Then Jasper
Grandma Made Up A Fake Homework Assignment To Own The Libs
Of Course Emma Wrote That
Painfully Fake
And All Of Gondor Clapped
Mummy? Why Have I Got To Hold Up This Si-Just Shut Up And Keep Still! At Least Look At The Camera!!
The look on the girl’s face clearly says “I’ve got no idea what this sign says but I’m holding it up for the picture because mummy promised me a new doll if I did”
Okay
What A Gentleman
This makes me cringe so hard, I can only see the gas splashing back into his little eyes and mouth. This is child endangerment.
Finally Found One In The Wild!
Someone Ought To Tell This Kid('s Parent) That There Is One
Amen!
And Then All Of Their Future Therapists Clapped
I mean, I can see 13 year olds saying this. I also wanted to be able to not have kids at that age (still don’t want them)
EDIT: I was misinformed about what vasectomies do - and do not do - to male ejaculations. My apologies, and thank you to those who explained it to me and allowed me to correct my improper knowledge without assuming I'm a piece of s**t.
A vasectomy doesn't prevent someone from ejaculating semen.
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Wait.. so this woman who has a son, is applauding her son not having children? While she had them? Am I missing something here?
Aside from the age question of course, the decision to have children or not is very personal, or should be. So a mother respecting her child's decision is a good thing.
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You're proud your child and his friends are already thinking about getting sterilized at 13? You know, there are other "birth control" options.
I knew I didn't want kids when I was a kid. I was super young and I'd scream "I hate babies!" when parents tried to force their baby at me as a toddler (some kids like them I guess? Never understood why people did that, maybe it was simply sexism - "girls better get used to these things" lol)
I didn't want kids that age, as I'm an only child. I CHOSE to be a dad to my 1st child, but I did, knowing I'd be a better dad than the none he would have. Gave him my 1st name cuz that's all I could give him before he was born and gave him a better version of my middle name in my eyes, as not to be a junior per se, but he knows I didn't make him and he's 16 years old now and is proud to have me as his dad, and has 3 younger siblings from his mom and I. And they and I get complimented all the f'ing time how friggin awesome they all are. I am so proud of all of them, and I have raised them by myself for years. My kids will and HAVE, made amazing impacts on countless otherss, and none of them want kids either at this point. Don't make heavy choices until you can weigh the positive and negative. If you've ever had a kid run ahead of you to hold a door, help you with a bag of animal food into you car or cart, or be the 1st to say you can go ahead in line, you don't know. Love my kids.
#DoWhatYoureWorth it's worth it. Not easy, but it's right. We all deserve at least that.
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I can see a 6-year-old asking for a vas heck to me thinking it's some kind of cool toy but at 13 boys are more likely to be interested in the fact that you can do more than drown ants and write your name in the snow with it
Had my period since I was 9. When I was 12 I begged my mom for a hysterectomy.
I don't believe a kid actually said this. I don't believe that a 13-year-old would actually know what a vasectomy is, only having heard the word.
I knew what a vasectomy was when I was about 12
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Woke 4/Yr Old. White Man Bad
What Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up? Sued For Malpractice
Don't worry Mom, growing up may not be an issue at all for your poor kid.
Woke Breastfeeding
I'm Sure She Picked It Out Herself
It’s 4chan So It’s Already A Given That This Didn’t Happen, But
Eight Year Old Kids Definitely Care About This Stuff
What?! I saw the Lightyear movie and I don't think they portrayed Buzz as gay...? His friend Hawthorne was gay, and it was amazingly tastefully and properly portrayed. And even if they DID "turn" Buzz gay, why is that "wrong"? Why does that "ruin everything"? ughhhh it's 2023, why are we STILL on about homoesexuals "ruining everything"?
Reminded Me Of This Subreddit
Sure He Did 🙄
Save Neil Young
That's some pretty amazing handwriting for a five year old! I wonder if maybe his mom had a hand in this?
From A Dinosaur Group About The New Jurassic World:
Uhhh I might have said something similar at that age. Love dinosaurs, people? Not so much. I'd have been upset at the people and cheering for the dinos.
Son Schools Teacher
Okay Honey Whatever You Say
Desperately Hoping I Haven't Eaten The Onion
He should have posted the rest of the conversation. I wanted to know this kid's thoughts on Nixon abandoning the gold standard.
Real Conversation With Daughter
One Of The Duggars
A Kid Singing About Their Food Seems Plausible But This One Takes It Over The Top (X-Post From R/Thathappened)
It Even Ends With And Then Everyone Clapped
Ah yes, the classic 'everyone clapped' line... makes every story so much more believable....
Ummmm..yeah
So, when good white people read about colonization, slavery, genocide and massacres, they feel nice and comfortable? If you have to make up things your child said, at least think them through.
A Future Proletarian Comrade
Op Has Never Talked To A 4-Year-Old
Found One In The Wild
And Then Everyone Applauded
Maybe If She Had Gone Vegan, Her Mother Would Still Be With Her
Boy Eloquently Explains Why Kellogg's Is His Favorite Cereal
Most of these I do not believe and the rest I am amazed the parent is proud of the child.
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The amount of people and patents in this listicle making false stories about their children for five minutes of Internet clout is just pitiful. What two your old is screaming out to bring down the patriarchy and fight climate change. I think I was just screaming for nap time and silly toys at that age.
As a teacher I can see most of these actually being said by children. They are like sponges and absorb everything around them, and understand a lot more than we think. If a child grows up with family who are flat earthers, they will constantly be told that everyone else is wrong and silly and that the earth is flat. Equally if they are brought up in a household that teaches consent and respect, they will know all about that (plus it's taught in all the schools nowadays too) and it's very much seen as an important element in teens nowadays! This post more shows more that some adults (nice seeing lots of comments from people also saying the same as me) dismiss kids too quickly and don't think they have their own thoughts and take in more than we often give them credit for! Kids really do understand more than we often think they do, like when parents refuse to tell their children they're poorly or getting a divorce, the children will know/ know something is up and handle it more maturely
These made me laugh. I'm a retired elementary teacher; thirty years with fourth and fifth graders. Anyone with ANY experience with kids knows most, probably all, of these are made-up bs.
Years ago, I was working as a teachers aid in a multi-age classroom. The kids had reading sheets to take home every night. Whatever they read the parents wrote down.We had one little boy who was in Prep very early and only 4.His Dad bought back his reading sheet ,where he had signed off on this little guy having read the first Harry Potter book in 3 days and telling me how he'd be starting the second book that nigh....He seemed to forget that I read and wrote with this kid every single day and was fully aware that he basically couldn't read anything besides a couple of words and could not even write his own name!! I just smiled and nodded at Dad, then continued to get his kid to spell out the word "DOG".
For all I know kids between 3 and 8 might well be saying all this stuff, I’ve been hearing loads of them talking daily at work for years and I still can’t make out what they’re saying 98% of the time.
As someone who just spent one week with a 6-year-old, I can believe the ideas the kids are saying but not *exactly* the way they would say it. My nephew jumped from words to words and never a complete sentence. "So I went shoo-shoo-shoo, and then he like, and I like, and then it goes 'pooosh', and then--" that's how the conversation usually went.
most of these are actually believable, guys. I mean, when i was six i solved Einstein's theory of relativity, so... \s
Most of these I do not believe and the rest I am amazed the parent is proud of the child.
Load More Replies... The amount of people and patents in this listicle making false stories about their children for five minutes of Internet clout is just pitiful. What two your old is screaming out to bring down the patriarchy and fight climate change. I think I was just screaming for nap time and silly toys at that age.
As a teacher I can see most of these actually being said by children. They are like sponges and absorb everything around them, and understand a lot more than we think. If a child grows up with family who are flat earthers, they will constantly be told that everyone else is wrong and silly and that the earth is flat. Equally if they are brought up in a household that teaches consent and respect, they will know all about that (plus it's taught in all the schools nowadays too) and it's very much seen as an important element in teens nowadays! This post more shows more that some adults (nice seeing lots of comments from people also saying the same as me) dismiss kids too quickly and don't think they have their own thoughts and take in more than we often give them credit for! Kids really do understand more than we often think they do, like when parents refuse to tell their children they're poorly or getting a divorce, the children will know/ know something is up and handle it more maturely
These made me laugh. I'm a retired elementary teacher; thirty years with fourth and fifth graders. Anyone with ANY experience with kids knows most, probably all, of these are made-up bs.
Years ago, I was working as a teachers aid in a multi-age classroom. The kids had reading sheets to take home every night. Whatever they read the parents wrote down.We had one little boy who was in Prep very early and only 4.His Dad bought back his reading sheet ,where he had signed off on this little guy having read the first Harry Potter book in 3 days and telling me how he'd be starting the second book that nigh....He seemed to forget that I read and wrote with this kid every single day and was fully aware that he basically couldn't read anything besides a couple of words and could not even write his own name!! I just smiled and nodded at Dad, then continued to get his kid to spell out the word "DOG".
For all I know kids between 3 and 8 might well be saying all this stuff, I’ve been hearing loads of them talking daily at work for years and I still can’t make out what they’re saying 98% of the time.
As someone who just spent one week with a 6-year-old, I can believe the ideas the kids are saying but not *exactly* the way they would say it. My nephew jumped from words to words and never a complete sentence. "So I went shoo-shoo-shoo, and then he like, and I like, and then it goes 'pooosh', and then--" that's how the conversation usually went.
most of these are actually believable, guys. I mean, when i was six i solved Einstein's theory of relativity, so... \s
