Woman Asks Fiancé To Postpone The Wedding After Seeing His Interactions With A New Female Friend

The boundaries in opposite-sex friendships can sometimes be murky. Things can get more complicated if one of the parties is in a relationship, putting the significant other in an uneasy position.

A woman is currently in this situation with her fiancé and his questionable behavior toward a female friend. Part of her feels she may be overreacting after being accused of jealousy in the past, ultimately preventing her from raising the issue. 

She now has second thoughts about pushing through with the marriage as she asks the internet for advice. Scroll down for her entire story.

Some opposite-sex friendships can be complicated

Man laughing with a woman outdoors, illustrating touchy behavior concerns.

Image credits: Brock Wegner / unsplash (not the actual photo)

A woman had been dealing with her fiancé’s questionable behavior toward a female friend

Text about a woman discussing her fiancé's behavior with a female friend, questioning if she's overreacting.

Text discussing a woman's concern over fiancé’s touchy behavior with a female friend, causing discomfort and awkwardness.

Pensive woman sitting on a sofa, arms crossed, contemplating relationship dynamics.

Image credits: Pablo Merchán Montes / unsplash (not the actual photo)

She feels conflicted about confronting him after he accused her of being “too jealous” in the past

Text discussing someone's fiancé's behavior with a female friend at a social gathering.

Text screenshot about a fiancé's behavior causing relationship tension and jealousy by being overly friendly with a female friend.

Text describing woman's concerns about fiancé's behavior with friend.

Image credits: Summer_Day848

Men can easily get attracted to their female friends

The man’s behavior led his fiancée to believe he may have a crush on his friend. Based on recent research, she may be onto something. 

A study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships revealed that men were likelier to think that their female friends were attracted to them. This usually led to a misguided assumption that the woman wanted to start a romantic relationship. 

At the same time, the study found that men were more likely to act on their wrongful perceptions, leading to the conclusion that a platonic relationship between single males and females may be impossible to maintain. 

From the opposite end of the spectrum, the research found that women generally didn’t feel the same attraction toward their male friends. 

Another study reported by Scientific American featuring 249 married adults revealed that relationships leading to romantic feelings were one of the primary negative aspects of befriending someone from the opposite sex. 

The man’s behavior could still be deemed harmless, but it makes his fiancée uncomfortable. It would be understandable for her to have doubts about their relationship. 

Man and woman smiling on a balcony, holding drinks; related to touchy behavior and gaslighting.

Image credits: Crook & Marker / unsplash (not the actual photo)

Confrontations about such problems should never be accusatory

The author’s main hurdle is confronting her fiancé without coming off as the overly jealous partner. According to Pasadena-based marriage and family psychotherapist Lauren Pietra, LMFT, reminding your partner that you trust them should be the top priority. 

In an interview with Very Well Mind, Pietra suggests using “I” statements to express sentiments. It’s a way of owning up to the emotions without appearing overly critical or making accusations. 

However, Pietra also expressed the importance of laying down boundaries. Both parties should define what is or isn’t appropriate in a friendship. 

“Lying and secrecy would definitely be signs of possible boundary crossing,” she noted. 

Given her doubts about the relationship, the woman did the right thing by postponing the wedding. It was also good for the couple to enter counseling to address their current issues.

Woman upset on bed; fiancé turns away after touchy behavior dispute with female friend.

Image credits: Curated Lifestyle / unsplash (not the actual photo)

The author answered a reader’s question, providing more insight into her situation

Text exchange about setting boundaries in a relationship, addressing fiancé's touchy behavior with a female friend.

People offered their advice, with most comments telling her to rethink the relationship

Reddit comment expressing opinion to cancel a wedding, highlighting fiancé's touchy behavior concerns.

Text comment criticizing fiancé's inappropriate behavior and suggesting calling off the wedding due to gaslighting.

Comment responding to fiancé's touchy behavior concerns, highlighting embarrassment risk.

Reddit comment discussing behavior in relationships, addressing neglect and disrespect issues.

Text screenshot discussing touchy behavior and gaslighting in relationships.

Reddit comment criticizing fiancé's behavior, suggesting a breakup due to fears of cheating.

Text discussion about fiancé's touchy behavior and gaslighting in a relationship.

Reddit comment discussing a woman's concerns about her fiancé's touchy behavior and relationship issues.

Text message discussing relationship concerns and respect issues.

Reddit comment supporting a woman's concerns about her fiancé's behavior with a female friend.

Comment on woman confronting fiancé’s behavior, urging not to marry due to disrespect.

Reddit comment addressing fiancé’s behavior and gaslighting.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a woman's concerns about her fiancé's touchy behavior with a female friend.

Reddit comment discussing touchy behavior by a fiancé towards a female friend.

Text comment expressing concern over fiancé's behavior and advising caution in response.

Reddit comment criticizing a fiancé's behavior, suggesting to end the relationship due to his interactions with a female friend.

Comment advising a woman to address her fiancé's touchy behavior respectfully.

Reddit comment about a fiancé's behavior, addressing concerns with a sarcastic tone.

The author provided an update to her story

Woman in distress sitting on the floor, dealing with fiancé’s behavior, light streaming in from a nearby window.

Image credits: Meg Aghamyan / unsplash (not the actual photo)

Text expressing appreciation for support and validation regarding a fiancé’s behavior with a female friend.

Text expressing a woman's concerns about her fiancé's behavior with a friend, mentioning insecurity and an apology.

Text about a woman addressing her fiancé's behavior with another woman, discussing feelings and relationship understanding.

Woman confronts fiancé about behavior with friend, expressing frustration while he looks away, sitting in a living room.

Image credits: Getty Images / unsplash (not the actual photo)

According to her, they have decided to postpone the wedding and undergo counseling

Text about a woman postponing her wedding for a year, discussing her fiancé's growth as a partner.

Text message discussing relationship doubts and personal growth, related to touchy behavior concerns.

Text reading, "Thank you all again for giving me the courage to take this step!" over a white background.

Image credits: Summer_Day848

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