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There are plenty of approaches to raising kids, and different people worry about different things. For example, according to a 2022 survey, 45% of parents say they tend to be overprotective and 20% claim they might be giving too much freedom. 35% think they give in too quickly and 30% believe they stick to their guns too much, while another 26% note they probably praise their children too much rather than criticize them too often (20%).
Interested in these differences (and similarities), Redditor Then-Routine4852 made a post on the platform, asking moms and dads: "What parenting trope, cliché, or stereotype do you wish would go away?" Here are some of the most upvoted answers they've received.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
To piggy back a bit off yours, the whole notion of dads "Babysitting". Um no, that is your child (ren)...they're not babysitting, they are parenting.
newcamper1234 replied:
I, sadly, know a lot of moms specifically who say they 'can't get [their] husbands to babysit' if they want to go out and watch a movie or grab dinner with friends or something. My husband and I aren't like that, and when I say that my husband has our kids, I've even heard one exclaim, 'You trust him with the kids for that long?' Um, yes, I wouldn't have had kids with him if I didn't trust him to take care of them.
Nilsen 2 years ago
In the same line: The husband isn't "helping" with the common house chores. He may be washing or cooking or cleaning, but as an adult member of the household he is expected to take part in the common upkeep. Of course if one works part time/is a stay at home parent that person is expected to do more, but still not all.
Mabelbabel 2 years ago (edited)
My husband was a single dad of 3 under 5s when we started dating (he had full custody, bio-mom not around). When we started going out as a family group, he automatically took over "childcare" like cutting up the children's food or taking them to the bathroom because he'd been doing it so long on his own. It was virtually guaranteed that some stranger, usually an older woman, would make a comment like "your husband is giving you a day off then?" "Nice to see you making your husband do all the work" "your husband is spoiling you today" He told me that it was far easier taking the children to the park or playground if I was there, because if it was just him, he'd get suspicious stares and occasionally nasty comments looking like a single man watching children. It's awful that society seems to think dads aren't capable of parenting their children.
Rick 2 years ago
I for one can't even imagine not wanting to spend time with your kid(s). What was the point of them?
Zakaar Bovus 2 years ago
It's been a shock to my mother how little we've asked her to watch our son compared to my oldest brother. Even then it's mainly been for neccessary things. Most of what my SO and I like to do kids like doing too (arcades, mini-golf, etc) so why wouldn't we have our son with
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Heffalump 2 years ago
It's not just the a problem with bad fathers. In my case, and I've seen this in other reltionships, my ex refused to treat me as a co-equal parent, and would try to dictate exactly how things would be done when my son was with me, exactly as you would a babysitter, including 'suggesting' I did fun things that I was already planning to do, so my boy came to see me as just the babysitter. I'm ashamed to say I rather gave up, and I don't think I'm the only one. Mothers: you can't set things for the emotional satisfaction of being the only parent your child comes to and still expect a fully involved an committed father. If you insist on treating him as your assistant and not as your partner, this is what you get.
Sahil Islam 2 years ago (edited)
It's 50/50 with parenting otherwise why did U even have kids if not for the two of you to raise them? As trophies? Hell nah
StrangeOne 2 years ago
Then someone asking the dad "Where's mom?" Should answer that with "Beats me. You should call her some time if you miss her."
Andrew Keir 2 years ago
Dads are 'paid' by the warm glow of doing what's right for their children. Not all benefits are financial.
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Ropre 2 years ago
I had a three year old and infant twins and my husband not only helped but stayed alone with them whenever I had something to do. Something else that's weird to me is when you go out with a group of women friends and some of them say "I'll be there after I put the kids to sleep"....so your husband can't get the kids to bed??? So weird. The kids are half theirs too.
RELATED:
#2
Parents asking other, especially young, kids if they have a boyfriend or girlfriend yet. It's not cute and borders on creepy.
SisterOfRistar replied:
Also, when they call any friend of the opposite sex the kid's boy- or girlfriend. I had a male friend in primary school, and my parents kept mocking me so much and calling him my boyfriend. I ended up distancing myself from him because it embarrassed me so much. It was an innocent friendship, and they ruined it for me.
Shoes 2 years ago (edited)
NAH bro, my little sister is 2 and my parents have some friends currently living on another country with the kid 3 years old!! They keep saying s**t like "aww, can't wait till they marry" "they will definaly get along"
Joe Reaves 2 years ago
But if a teenager says they're gay/bi/pan/asexual they're too young to possibly know and we shouldn't sexualise children ...
Bamboozled 2 years ago
This was always done to me by my family and it made me feel so embarrassed about telling them that I was in a relationship. I've been with my partner for over 15 years and didn't tell anyone for over 6 months. My family made everything about relationships so weird, and I always felt like they had to be awful because of the way my mum spoke about them.
Glen Ellyn 2 years ago
I remember seeing something like this on one of the late night talk shows. The host asked the guest if he had a girlfriend. The guest was six! Argh!
Giraffy Window 2 years ago (edited)
This is why "friend zone" is a thing. When kids are raised expecting to date every single friend they make, it sets them up for unhealthy expectations within their friend groups once they reach an appropriate dating age.
WonderWoman 2 years ago
Glorifying little kids having boy/girl friend - what a terrible message we are sending to children. There was a recent BP post of a little boy (4-7y/o) in a suit with roses on valentines day bringing to little girl and the responses were so ewww! i.e. someone taught him right, isn't he sweet. NO, he has been indoctrinated to behave like that. It is super creepy.
Lara Verne 2 years ago
I just witnessed elderly lady asking 2 years old if he has a girlfriend. Kid did not even started speak yet.
BringMeCake 2 years ago
This makes my blood boil. My religious mum was always suspicious of my male friends, as a teen. She just couldn't see that a boy and girl CAN be friends, without there being anything sexual goin on. She didn't trust anyone 'worldly'!
Sami-Jo Ross 2 years ago
I kind of wonder if this is why my friendship with my best friend as a kid fell apart. My best friend was a boy, and my parents constantly insisted I liked him like that, and my 8 year old autism brain said 'well if your parents think it, that must be it, right?' and spoiler alert, it was not.
To analyze the topic further, we sent the same question to Vicki Broadbent, the founder of the popular family and lifestyle blog Honest Mum.
"I think some of the clichés are well-meaning; however, many can exert pressure on mothers, especially," Broadbent, who is also the author of Mumboss (UK) and The Working Mom (US and Canada), told Bored Panda.
"I've been guilty of using some myself, such as 'supermom,' for example. For me, a term like 'Mumboss' is empowering as it describes how motherhood has helped me create a business."
#3
The whole intimidating his daughter's new BF needs to go. It’s so f*****g creepy and insecure
somebodywantstoldme replied:
The number of old men who have approached my husband while out with our three daughters (all under 6) to tell him he better have his gun ready because of how pretty they already are is gross.
Mary Lou 2 years ago
Guess that's the same guys who can't have girls show to much skin - as it might provoke them.
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setsuriseikou 2 years ago
"Oh, and why is that? Is it because of the way you bring up your sons?"
Sue Denham 2 years ago
Ewwww. I suppose they think it's a compliment but, no, it's pure creepiness.
My “in my head” Voice 2 years ago
No. They remember the c**p they pulled as a boy of that age. They're trying to protect her.
Load More Replies... General Anaesthesia 2 years ago
"I’m going to be dating her in 10 years". When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.
The Veil of Fire 2 years ago
My mom and aunt came up with a questionnaire for one of my dates. Made him file it then they went over each question like an interview. It was too funny. Luckily the guy found the humor in it as well. He made great off the wall answers. Btw, the comment isn't gross its just and old, very old, off handed compliment. Not fit for today's standards but not gross.
Sahil Islam 2 years ago
Yea now im inclined to buy a guard dog and a revolver if creepy old men approach my kids
TotallyNOTAFox 2 years ago
The father of my best friend had to do that once, since the BF of her sister was an abussive arsehole after 2 weeks.
#4
The jokes/culture of "drinking alcohol because parenting is hard and the kids are driving you crazy.". The whole wine mom/gin mom trend, or calling beer "happy daddy juice". Little baby outfits that say "I'm the reason mommy drinks" or with a picture of a beer glass and a baby bottle that says "Daddy's bottle, my bottle". I have just seen so many.
It glorifies alcohol as a stress reliever/mood booster. It makes alcohol consumption seem really trivial and like it's the norm. And for kids growing up with an alcoholic parent, it creates the idea in their mind that it's all their fault. I don't find it cute, funny, or trendy.
StrangeOne 2 years ago
The only people who think they're "functioning alcoholics" are the alcoholics. I've lived with one. Never liked living walking on eggshells just to go into the kitchen for a snack, or worrying what I'll get yelled at for this time, and having all my friends not want to come over because the alcoholic is scary.
Sparkysheep 2 years ago
Ugh, agreed! my dad was telling his friend that he never did any of those horrible alcoholic behaviors when I was a kid and ooooh that set me off! I'm non confrontational but that made me so upset I couldn't let that slide!! When I was in like 4th to 9th grade was the worst. We literally would go DAYS without food and he'd be going to the store to buy beer! When my mom yelled at him asking why he would let his kids starve when he had money he whined "well, there's food money, then there's alcohol money!'
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Sonja 2 years ago
I'd like to see a shirt that says: I'm the excuse my mom uses to abuse alcohol...
Andrew Keir 2 years ago
Still unnecessarily snarky. Be kind, or be silent.
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Elio 2 years ago
My mom is an alcoholic, but it was more of a self-medication for bipolar disorder thing. My brother does the same thing. To be fair, the alcohol isn't what is causing her health issues that are gradually killing her.
MoMcB 2 years ago
It doesn't help though. My ex was bipolar, and medicated himself with alcohol,
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Courtney Christelle 2 years ago
My dad was an alcoholic when I was growing up and I’ve always been very careful to never draw a line between stress and drinking around my son. When I have a stressful day at work, I take a hot bath.
The Veil of Fire 2 years ago
Once again its one of those "if its cute its acceptable" thought patterns. Grew up knowing several of my friends who's parents drank socially. They never hid the fact that they drank. Now parent want to make it seem cute to make it seem more acceptable.
Big Chungus 2 years ago
I will never let my son see the "fun alcoholic" around him. I want him to see adults with healthy relationships with alcohol and know what moderation is.
Vicki is a mom-of-three herself, and she thinks the prevalence of these things has a lot to do with personal interpretation. That being said, "we all need to be mindful to view motherhood in an open and inclusive way," she added.
"I've found people sometimes have preconceptions of me when they hear I'm a mother (usually non-parents), that perhaps my brain or sense of humor left the building when my kids entered."
"We learn from experience and can educate others too, or stand up for ourselves if we feel we're being misrepresented or undermined," the mom highlighted.
#5
I wish people would let their kids have privacy and keep them off the internet. Did I really need to see your baby’s bare bum on Facebook??
I just say hehehehehe hehehehe 2 years ago
Yeah. I saw a post a mom put online it was a picture of her 5 year old daughters butt and the mom was like "My kiddo just had a vaccination shot in the bum" and everyone is like brave girl but I'm thinking WTF give your kid some privacy
StrangeOne 2 years ago
I'd report that photo. Wouldn't be sorry about it, either, as she's creating CP content for pervs to steal. What are these parents thinking? When someone does point out the issues it's met with backlash, "If you're seeing it that way then you're the sick one". It's an adults responsibility to be aware of these things and know who's out there so we know how to protect our kids.
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StrangeOne 2 years ago
Now it's parents filming their kids eating. Just eating. Some sort of ASMR thing. Or their kid sleeping. I'm so glad I was born before all this.
Boootifull Unicorn 2 years ago
that stuff is there forever. please think about your child's future mental health
Jayjay 2 years ago
Many parents (and grandparents, and more) just don't realise how dangerous the internet is. Once there was an article on how paedophiles would download just innocent videos of young girls, and select stills from it (completely out of context) that they could sexualise to send to other paedophiles. Just be very much aware of what other people might do with your photos and videos!
María Hermida 2 years ago
There's a "celebrity" chef here in Spain who is a rude cow in general, but I started to really hate her when posted several videos of her autistic child having tantrums in the social media. The lack of privacy is bad enough, and also the way she mocks and belittles the poor boy to "correct" his behaviour. If she weren't famous and rich I'm sure the Social Services would have intervened.
Giraffy Window 2 years ago
SO risky even if your settings are all on private. You may know your friends and family, but there's a very easy chance you don't know one of them quite so well as you think. No swim suit images, no tub images, no just diaper shots. You just never know.
Debby Keir 2 years ago
No, but creepy Harold does.... Don't put your kids' pics (particularly unclothed) on the Internet.
#6
Keeping your children so busy in extracurricular activities & events that they are never home. It’s ok to let your kid play with the toys they have, go outside in their own backyard, hang out with the neighborhood kiddo and have unconstructed free time.
David Fox 2 years ago
Opportunity should always be given but never forced. My daughter tried all sorts when she was younger but nothing clicked. She prefers to go up to her room to read.......kids need time out for themselves to just switch off.
Nonnie Bear 2 years ago
I was the artsy, creative kid growing up. I was in band from 6-12 grades. I did winter dance team & color guard. In the early 80's, my Dad insisted I try out for basketball.. I had zero skills,, and even less interest. It was brutal. Needless to say, I didn't make the team, and Dad didn't push the issue any further.
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VidGam4 2 years ago
I have a friend like this. She never has time to hang out because she has hours of extracurriculars after school every day. I want to go see her because we don’t go to the same school anymore but she always has dance class or theater or cello lessons or voice lessons or something.
Lisa T 2 years ago
My three kids were always offered the opportunity to try activities but they were never made to do anything. It’s amazing how many adults hate the activities they were forced to do as a kid. You should find activities you enjoy and want to keep doing into adulthood. It’s also just as bad not allowing your kids to do any activities. I was 35 when I took up playing drums, several years later took up bass. Now at 52 have finally taken up tap dancing.
Tyranamar Seuss 2 years ago
My kindergartner has zero extra curriculars bc he is at an insane school that requires homework (I'm taking him out). I insist he have free time during his day. Was talking to another mom at school and her kids (5y/o) are in school 8-4 and then do 3 extra curricular activities. Why? Why do that to your kids? It's insane.
The Veil of Fire 2 years ago
Most folks don't have backyards or safe space for kids to play. I was lucky, I grew up with a large lack yard, fenced, large German Shepherd, a and box, swimming pool, swing set, several great climbing trees, lots of various activities and large basement to play in ping pong or roller skate in when it rain. Don't assume other kids have the same things nowadays on average. The hard thing is permits want their kids supervised but they dont want to do it so constant organized activities keep them safe,tires them out, and hopefully teaches them things.
"Starting important conversations is a way to change the often limiting narrative," Broadbent said. "It's also important to be honest about what changes and our needs as parents, for example, requesting the option for flexible or remote working. As Amy Westervelt states, 'We still ask women to work like they don't have kids and parent like they don't work. It's well past time to change all that.'"
Luckily, Vicki feels there's been a cultural shift over the past for the better, which was accelerated online by mothers and fathers who have been more candid in representing how hard parenting can be, showing the good with the bad. "Hashtags like #relatablemom and #honestparenting bring up millions of searches showing the realities of parenting. By doing so, we all feel more normal and supported," she said. Hopefully, this Reddit thread contributes as well!
#7
That little baby boys or girls are “flirting” when they’re smiling at an adult. It’s f*****g creepy and gross. Anything that sexualizes babies and little kids that way.
Jeff White 2 years ago
Got to agree 100% with "Anything that sexualizes (children of any age) NEEDS to stop. That behavior, even when "joking", needs to stop.
Skipper Laine 2 years ago
This reminds me of several of Freud's creepy ideas...
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Aileen Grist 2 years ago
Babies give off an aura which some people see as flirting as a natural thing. They attract adults because they can't survive without them and need to be seen as desirable - but not in a sexual way
KombatBunni 2 years ago
Anyone who said that within earshot of me would be asked very loudly to explain themselves and be called creepy
Ashen Mccann (They/Them) 2 years ago
see this is like the 4th comment about sexualizing kids. SO STOP F*CKIN SEXUALZING KIDS!!!!!
Libstak 2 years ago
There are adults looking at cute and friendly kids actions as flirting?? That is completely sick and twisted, freaking pedos.
TheGoodBoi 2 years ago
WHAAAAAT?? This the first time I've heard of this. That is disgusting...
María Hermida 2 years ago
If this is the first time you've heard of this you are very lucky, because people do this all the time. It's f*****g creepy, gross, sick and disgusting, and it really makes me feel like slapping them. I have no "sense of humour" for this kind of s**t, not even as a joke.
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astrin 2 years ago
one time i went with my mom to a small friendly baseball game held between co-workers and people working under the same company and a woman on their team brought her son (who couldn't be more then 4) and he was obsessed with me. i was 12 at the time and he would follow me everywhere and when i sat down he would have to sit on my lap, i was very obviously uncomfortable but his mom just said "aww he's going to be a player" and "he does that to everyone, isn't it cute?" it got to the point where he would try to look down my shirt. luckily i was wearing a sweatshirt with overalls underneath so he didn't see anything but it's still gross, and what did his mom do? laughed at it and called me his "girlfriend". eventually my mom stepped in and got him away from me but this is what calling what kids do to be nice "flirting" turns into. this is how objectification of women begins. i really hope he grew out of it before doing something similar when he's an adult.
#8
Forcing kids to clean their plate (eat everything). This creates an unhealthy attitude towards food. I try to portion enough to what I know my kiddo can eat but holy c**p. I've seen some parents feed their kids adult servings and tell them they aren't leaving the table until it's done.
Joshua David 2 years ago (edited)
My brother would do this to his son from a fling. He had full custody but was far from a good dad. He was a sensitive child and my brother practically ignored him and made him call his wife "Mom" when he has a mother alive, because they didn't want to "confuse" my niece. I would pick him up a lot of weekends and basically let him play on the computer, psp at the time, late night food rums etc. He's since turned 23 and I moved to Atlanta in 2012 so we lost touch. My heart bled for him. He's doing good.
Elio 2 years ago
Yeah that's how you give your kids eating disorders. People do this then wonder why their kids grow up overweight or with other digestive health problems. My parents just wanted us to try a few bites before deciding we didn't like it, which seems fair.
Nonnie Bear 2 years ago
My parents pulled that "clean your plate" c**p on us. I remember sitting at the table for 2hrs because I wouldn't eat the kidney beans in the chilli. It was a Sunday afternoon, and my sis & I waited until Dad fell asleep reading. We quickly dumped the beans back in the pot & moved on with our day. Both of us grew up making our kids only.take a bite of something new.
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StrangeOne 2 years ago
It's these parents I want to ask, have you never heard of leftovers? Do you not own saran wrap or food containers?
Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My! 2 years ago
My parents were extremely house poor. It killed them to see food they worked so hard for go to waste. Both my brother and I were autistic, and so food issues. The texture of spaghetti noodles was a problem for me, as well as getting a big taste of sauce. My parents couldn't understand why I would eat pizza but not spaghetti, but it was a different texture and the sauce on pizza is pretty evenly spread. Once (I think this happened more than once, but I'm not sure) I was forced to sit outside at the picnic table until I ate my spaghetti. I vomited several times trying to force myself to comply. We weren't allowed to have snacks (we couldn't afford them), and I would tear through the pantry, looking for something sweet to eat. I was so obsessed with sweets I spent all of my money on them. I mean literally all. In the '70's, kids didn't have much pocket money.
Nightshade1972 2 years ago
Even as an adult, I eat relatively small portions. I grew up in the US, where portion sizes just seem to get bigger and bigger as the years go by. I'm now in the UK, where smaller portion sizes are the norm--and I'm fine with that.
Sue User 2 years ago
If i eat out, i ask if i can order off the kids menu. The other portions are way too big.
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Javelina Poppers 2 years ago
As a kid I hated lima beans and couldn't leave the table till I ate them all. I love them now, but it took years to get over that phobia and because of that I never did the same thing to my children over things they didn't like. Removing that pressure let them feel comfortable about trying things and they'll eat just about anything now............except bugs, we all draw the line at bugs.
Helen Bennett 2 years ago
I grew up with this and other reasons for mealtimes being deeply stressful & my stomach's knotting just reading it. It took my wonderful husband to show me that food can be a great pleasure.
TotallyNOTAFox 2 years ago
My sister and me always got small potions and if we were hungry we could get another small one - do people not get the concept of taking second or third helpings?
#9
Sexualizing girls because they’re “pretty”. I passed down heterochromia to my daughter and her eyes are two different colors. It’s nearly impossible to go out in public without another adult saying something about how pretty she is and how it’ll benefit her future relationships. How she’ll “grow up to be looker”, how *all the boys* will want her, or maybe I won’t have to worry about this one staying home. If they think they’re being edgy they’ll snicker and say “or maybe she’ll bat for the same team!” She’s 6.
Mega-Ladonna 2 years ago
Right on! This unholy obsession with children that's happening in the world today says a lot of the generation we're living in. To harm an innocent child would take a person truly evil & devoid of all senses.
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Donna Peluda 2 years ago
6 year olds doing the raunchy dance routines from the pop music videos while the adults humour them.
Andrew Keir 2 years ago
Child abuse right there, imho. Lively children will try a lot of things, but need to be firmly steered away from impolite activities.
Load More Replies... WonderWoman 2 years ago
Telling a child that because they are pretty all the boys will want her ARGH. Right because she will bring nothing but her good looks to the table.
SeaJaySea 2 years ago
Exactly! It's putting pressure on her to get a boyfriend- what if she doesn't even want one? Or if she's lesbian? (sorry if I'm missing the point, I'm autistic)
Load More Replies... Giraffy Window 2 years ago
I personally consider it a malicious curse when anyone jokes "They're going to be such a heart breaker!" About a kid. "AWW look how pretty/handsome you are! You and so many others will experience deep emotional pain because you look the way you look" can you NOT speak such foreboding trash over a child's innocent head? Please? Plus linking their appearance to emotional pain is fvcked up.
I just say hehehehehe hehehehe 2 years ago
And if your kiddo is not enough for them they'll be like: Well she'll have a hard time finding some boys". My best friend believes we're not going to have bfs because of that. And everyone says she has a stripper name and it'll attract boys to her! Like WTF
Jayjay 2 years ago
My mom was a beautiful girl in World War II and very smart! My grandpa fell ill, and couldn't work anymore. He couldn't pay for extended education. My mom wanted to learn. Everyone around my grandpa said: she is a beautiful girl, she will get married soon, have babies, she doesn't need more education. My grandpa disagreed and went to the director of the "kweekschool" (a training school where you learn how to be a teacher). My mom got a scholarship and ended up as the director of several basic education schools while having 5 children :). Every girl has a right to education and skills! You don't get far on beautiful eyes.
#10
I'm sick of dad's being stereotyped as lazy or hands off at home or with the kids. I do ALL of the grocery shopping, cooking and most of the cleaning in my house. I'm as hands on with the kids as my wife is. I prepare snacks and see them off to school most school days, I take them on outings and I handle the baby all the time. I resent the assumption that I don't do these things, and I don't think anyone on reddit would sympathize with me asking for more help from my wife, because, well, dad's don't actually deserve breaks, only moms do, because only they do things.
Sue Denham 2 years ago
Respect to you for being a decent dad. A lot aren't and I guess that's where the stereotyping comes from.
iseefractals 2 years ago
Or....it's a carry over from the 1950's/60's/70's and people simply aren't concerned with negative sterotypes when they're being applied to men
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Dominik 2 years ago
that's the same argument as always in equality ... why not just ... equate
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Janet Sparrow 2 years ago
My son stayed home for a year after his son was born. My so said it made him feel so much more confident in caring for his Own son he.
Isaac Harvey 2 years ago
Not to mention being more likely to have to work more than normal, thereby taking away from time spent with their kids.
Sara Wilson 2 years ago
Sadly, because OP IS the rarity. The only guys I've known that cook and clean r single. And as soon as they get into a relationship, that changes. But to b fair, us women allow it from the get-go
Hey! 2 years ago
Just in case someone sees something wrong with the picture with OP's post: You don't know they just didn't finish dishes, did their chores, or anything else. If she's dusting the floor while the two are sitting away doesn't mean she's the one working on the house all the time. She could be. But it doesn't need to be the truth.
#11
Making your kids be affectionate towards people … when I grew up my parents would obligate me to ‘say hi -give a kiss or hug’ to every adult at any event and I hated it … I never push my kids to give hugs or kisses … even if it’s a close relative. They get to choose then the want to be physically affectionate and with whom. I also don’t let adults use physical affection as a bargaining tool. ‘I’ll give you a cookie if you give me a hug’ it just seems so gross to me.
Javelina Poppers 2 years ago
We never did this, it just naturally evolved by itself in our family. Even the teenage boys will hunt you down to give you a hello or goodbye hug on their own. Our house seems to be a favorite gathering spot, especially on holidays, for all the kid's friends.
Shoes 2 years ago (edited)
So when I was 4 we went to my dad's side of the family house to celebrate Chirstmas, and me and my cousins we're opening the presents so I picked one up and saw it was clothing inside so I handed to my mom and went to open the toys, my auntie who gave the the gifts saw that as asked "why didn't open this one?" I said because It was clothing and I usally try clothing at home with mom... my auntie started crying and told my mom I was being ungrateful and that I shouldn't be used to try clothig only at home and that what I said was disrespectful (it's fine my dad's family is toxic anyway so no big surprises)
Andrew Keir 2 years ago
Respect is earned, it shouldn't be expected and never demanded.
Load More Replies... María Hermida 2 years ago
What's the point in receiving a "compulsory" hug or kiss? That's domination, not affection. Do something to earn the kid's love instead of forcing them to be a hypocrite. The only real kisses and hugs are the unprompted ones kids give you because they love you.
Emily Ward 2 years ago
They should at least say hello when possible it teaches them manners and can help them learn to be more social as adults instead of antisocial and unable to feel confident in social settings. Kissing no, not unless they r choosing to. Hugs for grandparents absolutely.
The Other Guest 2 years ago
I was with you right up to that last sentence. No, NOT hugs for grandparents "absolutely." Children should not be forced to hug someone if they don't want to, and that includes "mommy's mommy."
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Riani Kivela 2 years ago
My mom used to try to do this to my daughter, "Give your Aunt a hug!" And my daughter would look to me and I'd say, "Only if you want to. You could also give a handshake, high-five or a wave." She usually chooses the high-five for people she doesn't know. I saw my efforts pay off in her PE class when a boy touched the front of her shirt because it had a sequin unicorn on it. She pushed his hand away and said, "Don't touch me without permission!"
Danish Susanne 2 years ago
Great to let your kids be people, who can choose who they want to hug or kiss.
BringMeCake 2 years ago
My mother-in- law always wants a hug and a kiss from my two children-13 and 9. They hate it. She is genuinely offended if they don't give her affection upon arrival. I've told her that they don't have to and that their body is their own. I've told her that they shouldn't be forced to give affection, just to please her narcissistic self. She just cannot understand why they wouldn't want to and the drama of "they don't love me" starts. 🙄
Rayne OfSalt 2 years ago
I taught my nieces and nephews to give high fives if they don't want to hug someone.
#12
That children are so delicate that they can't be exposed to anything but the most infantilized stories where everything is puppies, rainbows and rounded edges. Yes, kids need to be protected and gently introduced to the less pleasant aspects of the world, but that introduction actually needs to happen over the long term. Pretending bad things don't exist isn't parenting.
Shine Chisholm (they/ them) 2 years ago
My kid's middle school had lockdown drills, which is terrifying and traumatizing. They told the kids it was in case a deer got into the school. When there was a school shooting in our state a little later, my kid was NOT reassured to know that the thing they had been taught to do in case of woodland creatures was also supposed to keep them safe from homicidal maniacs.
Sally White 2 years ago
We don't have this in my country, but we have other issues like random stabbings, mainly in public and gang related. I cannot imagine what it's like to send your kids to school and be worried about them being shot. I have no idea how USA politics work, sounds complicated and the country is huge and devolved to states? I heard a politician talking on BBC Radio 4 and he literally believed another civil war in the US is possible and imminent. Everyone is so polarised. If the super power descends into chaos, then the whole world suffers as well.
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Isaac Harvey 2 years ago
I think Mr. Rogers had the right idea. Water it down, and explain it in simple terms or using analogies so that they can understand it.
BrownTabby 2 years ago
If you’re talking about book banning, “we mustn’t make white/straight/etc children uncomfortable” is just their justification. What they’re actually afraid of is that minorities and allies will push for equality…and succeed.
Emily Ward 2 years ago
That had nothing to do with what they said in any way
Load More Replies... Sahil Islam 2 years ago
My father threw me into a murky pond because I refused to get from fear of crocodiles being in it. I got my revenge soon after when he got close to the waters edge and I just rammed into him like a truck 😂
María Hermida 2 years ago
Pretending bad things don't exist is very bad parenting. Teach your child there's goodness, but there's also evil, and how to act in dangerous situations. Keep your fingers crossed so that they'll never need to avoid being kidnapped but teach them what to do if someone tries to.
Lizz 2 years ago
I wasn't allowed to see the end of certain movies ( escape to witch mountain and short circuit being 2 I could remember ) because my mom was afraid "the end would give me nightmares ". I grew up a super sensitive kid who cried whenever I was poked and got the life bullied out of me through school because of all this. I toughened up at 17 and am "pretty normal " as an adult ( I don't cry as easily as I used to. ) but boy I wish I hadn't grown up in a bubble.....
meow point1 2 years ago
I remember once when I was a kid, someone was reading me a fairy tale that had a death threat in it, and the reader sanitised it into threatening to send the protag to her room. Even then I thought, "Seriously?".
#13
The idea that girls are somehow more difficult to raise than boys. They’re not. Both girls and boys are emotional and complex.
Javelina Poppers 2 years ago
My son was a holy terror, my oldest daughter was a princess (or so she thought) and my youngest daughter was a tomboy. All 3 were challenging in their own way.
Rob(erta) Roy (They/Them) 2 years ago
That's basically me and my siblings, execpt I was the tomboy and my little sister thinks that she's a princess
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Berlytea 2 years ago
I've never heard a single soul express the idea that girls are more difficult to raise than boys. Where do y'all come up with this mess?
Brittany 2 years ago
I heard this a lot growing up in the American southeast. Most of the time it came down to one of two ideas: that girls can "ruin their futures" by getting pregnant, and that girls are more delicate and emotional. These assumptions were often used to justify more severe physical punishments for boys and to dismiss their emotional lives, while the same assumptions were used to control and infantilize girls.
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Danish Susanne 2 years ago
If it were easier to raise boys how come som many more of them ends up in jail.
Ross “Sarcastic Dad” 2 years ago
WHAT? If anything, girls are easier. You are the most correct in saying they are both emotional/complex and have their own pro's and con's, but I've had my nephews over. Girls only, please. lol.
Stephanie Barr 2 years ago
Children are not only different gender to gender but person to person. Each child is an individual and you can't raise each child exactly the same and still give them what they need.
JayWantsACat 2 years ago
I was a shy and quiet boy who could entertain myself, listened to my parents, was generally really easy other than being a bit shy around people. I believe that some higher power let my parents have that respite early because it knew that my bipolar would kick in about 8th or 9th grade and create all kinds of issues.
#14
"Boy mom" You're just being weird. Find a personality separate from your kids' genders, ok?
IllPaleontologist215 replied:
I have even been subjected to the 'You have it easy as a girl mom' comment from a 'boy mom.' Stupid. My kid is just as rambunctious and dirty as your boy, trust me.
Berlytea 2 years ago
Oh yeah! They have bumper stickers and everything! Both my kids are boys but I never knew there was a club of women who somehow think they are doing something special because their husband's sperm did not produce girls. Lmao! On the flip side, there are also these "girl Dads." Equally ridiculous.
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SmooshyFries 2 years ago
I had a mom of 4 boys at the preschool our kids attended tell me, Oh you have just (2)girls? I have FOUR boys, having boys makes such a strong family- uhh, okaay.
DrKimball 2 years ago
They amount of times my sister has said "you don't understand its different raising boys in this world; boys have it worse than girls; being a mom to boys is SO different, you can't understand." By the way, my daughter is a gay person living in a red state but I guess that doesn't give me any "mom points". I don't speak to my sister very often if you are wondering...
Nonnie Bear 2 years ago
My oldest son hated walking in grass or sand, getting his hands dirty. His sister, on the other hand, was all in play outside, get dirty, fingerprint, whatever was messy she loved.
Brainmas 2 years ago
I hate this so much. Most of the things that "boy moms" talk about are the same things I experienced with my daughter or did as a child myself. Yes, girls climb trees, collect bugs, jump off the furniture, pee in strange places, hit things with sticks, break toys, hit their siblings, etc. If you let your kid have life experiences and a full range of emotions, it shouldn't be very different to raise different genders. Every individual gets to have their own personality if you let them.
TMoxraaaar 2 years ago
Boy moms want to marry their sons. They want to be the most important person in their lives - even before themselves. These women aren't people any longer. They take on this creepy vibe and their personalities dissolve more every day. This is why they can't handle it when their sons grow up. They are nightmare MsIL. Certain "boy mom" behaviors should be CPS worthy, and they are outing themselves every day on social media.
Big Chungus 2 years ago
I have a boy and he can be a lot, but I assume all toddlers are the same in terms of energy and chaos.
#15
The idea that “gentle parenting” and “permissive parenting” are the same thing. No, we don’t let our kids do whatever they want. YES, we have boundaries and consequences and accountability! No, we aren’t the parents with awful, uncontrollable kids- though our kids act like children, in ways that are developmentally appropriate, because we haven’t terrified them into perfectly still silence all the time. We just do all those things while treating them like humans, giving them an appropriate level of autonomy, caring about their opinions, and not physically hurting/shaming/(usually) yelling at them/punishing them punitively! As someone with a literal angel of a teenager who has been parented gently/consciously/authoritatively/responsively from birth, it’s EXHAUSTING listening to the dumb stereotypes and people saying it doesn’t work and/or creates s****y kids.
BrownTabby 2 years ago
It’s another version of “I got smacked and I turned out fine”. Props to you for breaking the cycle of BS.
Sonja 2 years ago (edited)
So true. Or the other way round, permissive and passive parents claiming they do gentle parenting. No you are not. You're not parenting at all. For example making excuses for their kids misbehaviour and not stopping them because 'they don't believe in punishment'. Lady, stopping your little menace banging on the floor with a pot is not punishment. It's parenting. Yes you should find out why they're doing that and help them if needed, but that doesn't mean not to stop the bad behaviour while it happens! You need to do both! It's especially horrible if one child terrorises the family, including their siblings, and all the parents ever do is talking but letting them continue. That's not gentle parenting either. Gentle parenting means that instead of punishment, you give well communicated consequences AND listen to their needs. If you don't give consequences, you raise future narcissists who learn they can do whatever they want and then just explain it away.
Louise 89 2 years ago
For me my kids are little humans with feeling and emotions too not just children ready to be disciplined into submission. I always think how would I feel if I was constantly being dictated to, eat food I don't like and be told it doesn't matter what I want. They have rules and boundaries to keep them safe and grow up respectful people but they have choices too and I ask their opinion. I don't know why people call parenting 'gental parenting' now?
Mistress of Anarchy 1 year ago
Because everyone now has/had authoritarian parents and actual good parenting is seen as "gentle"
Load More Replies... Papa 2 years ago
One of the most important things about being a parent is to take care of your child's every need and make every decision for them when they're very small, but gradually transiting to them doing more of both as they get older, so they're then capable of taking care of themselves and making good decisions. And after you've done that, one of the most difficult parts of being a parent is to not offer opinions to your adult children that they didn't ask for.
Sue User 2 years ago
I would always asks the kids if they wanted to transition. Do you want to get dressed yourself?
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Lyoness 2 years ago
Just a gentle reminder that sometimes it isn't that those "awful, uncontrollable kids" weren't parented right. There are so many reason children can behave badly - sensory issues, special needs like oppositional defiance disorder, even a lack of sleep. Completely understandable that OP needed to clarify that gentle parenting doesn't create s***y kids, but sometimes no matter how you parent you end up with uncontrollable children. And yes, we used this method, and no, our kids aren't awful (IMHO 😊) But we do know families who have kids with special needs and have watched them being judged for their so called terrible parenting. It's heartbreaking because they're doing the best they can.
Donna Peluda 2 years ago
I agree but if your kids are still in the fase of not being able to sit still and be reasonable quiet in a restaurant or social event get a baby sitters
#16
You've failed if your body doesn't "bounce back" from pregnancy immediately. Also, if it doesn't, you need surgery.
TMoxraaaar 2 years ago
Someone needs to tell all new dads that their partners do not exist for their viewing pleasure.
#17
Look I'm a big dude who makes the lunches of both my boys. I even occasionally include notes. Stop complimenting my wife on the boys lunches. They had ribs in there...I also cooked them.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 2 years ago
My dad used to write notes to me on my napkins when he lacked my school lunches. Those were good days.
Emily Ward 2 years ago
Hahahahaha love the ribs thing. Dude, good job. You made awesome lunches. Great idea with the notes. Men should get compliments also.
Hey! 2 years ago
My husband was the one in charge of lunches; they each had a job to do, so the three would be lined up with stools at the kitchen counter. The funniest is that the youngest (still at home) wanted a lunch box too and would wait, with his lunch box, in front of the house with his siblings, for the bus to come.
The Doom Song 2 years ago
That's adorable. I love the thought at the youngest with his lunch box.
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Kathy Richardson 2 years ago
My son is a single father to 2 boys and he does all this. He is an excellent parent. These boys are growing up to be healthy, happy, responsible, self- sufficient men that will be able to easily care for themselves and even others if needed.
#18
The "asked for it", "you knew this", or "you signed up for it" attitude towards struggling parents. There seems to be this attitude that parents should know or expect everything and that because they had kids, it's okay they suffer or struggle.
Life is too dynamic, children and young adults aren't robots - they're individuals, so to shrug and say "you signed up for it" is unhelpful and just wrong.
AnkleByter 2 years ago
As a whole, I agree with this, but situationally, I don't. Sometimes it really is a matter of "you asked for it" and "you should have known". Not always and definitely not as a general attitude, ever, but in some situations, yep. Have family members who created spoiled, ill-mannered, entitled little children-despite all the warning signs being there and all the warnings given by others about what that behavior would look like as the kids got older. Guess what happened when the kids got older? Now parents are struggling something fierce (in every way possible, including financially) to deal with the consequences of their own actions. No one gives them the "we told you so" attitude or speech, but we sure as hell all feel it, and want to. Some of the issues are really bad. They decided to keep having children despite how, not well, it's going with the first 2. They still act surprise pikachu when their willful ignorance comes calling for dues, and want sympathy.
Juley Clark 2 years ago
My friends daughter is a case like this, hasn't put her kid down for more than a few seconds since she was born. 9 months old, can't crawl. will only drink from the breast as Mom refuses to bottle feed, and can not be set down or she just screams and Mom comes running to pick her up again. Then Mom can understand why she can't get anything done and now has CPS on her for a filthy house.
Load More Replies... Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My! 2 years ago
I saw somewhere a parent's response to "You should have known". The parent asked, "Just how was I supposed to know that my children would, always and everywhere, have to have the same color Jell-O?"
StrangeOne 2 years ago
There are so many things that come up that are unexpected and brutal, it's impossible to prepare for everything that can go wrong. "You're the parent.". No s**t, Sherlock. Good parents want to be good, and because they want to raise their kids right they need some form of verbal support and be able to ask for help."
Giraffy Window 2 years ago (edited)
Had a couple ex (for messy reasons) friends who struggled with pregnancy loss. She went through such turmoil over it. She thankfully finally managed to keep a baby, and her husband immediately started saying "You wanted this so bad, don't complain once the baby gets here" Nope. The entire friend group shot that down the three times he said that to her in front of us. Parenting is HARD. If you're not allowed to speak the negative aspects of it out loud? Just yikes.
James016 2 years ago
When my son was born my wife and I knew nothing apart from what we read up on and learned in our National Childcare Trust class which was super helpful. Then just after he turned 4 he was diagnosed as autistic. Much more to learn and deal with. Did we “sign up” to that? No. Would we wane him any other way? Also no. Been asked a number of times what my greatest achievement as a parent is and I give the same answer: not accidentally killing my son.
iseefractals 2 years ago
Nope. Stop making excuses for these people who buy into the idea that everything will just "magically work out" on the presumption that you have some inherent right to be a parent. If you can barely support yourself, don't have any free time, and mentally and emotionally crumble in the course of being responsible only for yourself, it's INSANE to expect that adding a child into the mix is going to make anything better or easier. That YOU didn't bother to consider the consequences of YOUR choice, does not change the fact that you're the one that made it. Once you make that choice, you are no longer the priority. That is exactly what you're signing up for. More people need to come to that realization BEFORE they have children, and it's not going to happen if everyone else continues to ignore that reality.
Lyoness 2 years ago (edited)
What if it wasn't a choice? Edit for spelling
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Sareaesque 2 years ago
No one says to a driver when they complain about problems with their car or the traffic 'well you chose to drive'
Tamra 2 years ago
Once a child is born, those parents aren't automatically privy to every parenting experience, nor all parenting wisdom. No matter how much they wanted to be parents, no matter how much they seek out wisdom and advice, there will *always* be challenges and surprises. There will be times when it's hard and they need to vent. None of that means they aren't "dealing" or are trying to get out of the responsibility of parenting.
Load More Replies... #19
I don't like the stereotype of a boy is your son until he takes a wife and your daughter is yours for life (or however the phrase goes). Adult children of any gender can still be close to their parents.
Javelina Poppers 2 years ago
Around our house the saying "Thick As Thieves" is most appropriate.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 2 years ago
As the adult daughter of a toxic narcissist, I would like to opt out of being my mother’s daughter, please. (Thank the gods I’m adopted, at least.)
Nannychachi 2 years ago
I have the same kind of mother. I opted out years ago and could not be happier with my decision.
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French panda says ur worth it 2 years ago
I think it goes "your son is your son until he finds a wife. Your daughter is you daughter all of you life '
Aileen Grist 2 years ago
The idea that a daughter is for life is ridiculous anyway. It's not THAT long ago that women were possessions and after marriage became the possession of her husband. In some cultures today a woman moves in with her husband's family when she marries.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 2 years ago
A woman doesn’t suddenly stop being a daughter at any point. Even if her parents die, she’s still a daughter.
Load More Replies... KombatBunni 2 years ago
I believe it goes: your son is your son til he takes a wife, your daughter’s your daughter all your life.
#20
"Do it all mom." It may be from my state (Utah) but you must be put together, have well-dressed kids, do crafts, go all out for holidays, make everything homemade, and have perfect houses. Nope. Hard pass.
Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My! 2 years ago
The kids won't remember how often you vacuumed. They'll remember that you stopped vacuuming to build a Lego house with them.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 2 years ago (edited)
In fact, the kids will remember if you do too MUCH vacuuming, and they will remember when you hit them in the head with the landline phone’s handset because said kid accidentally STEPPED on the newly-vacuumed carpet… XD
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Ashen Mccann (They/Them) 2 years ago
I'm also in Utah, but im the kid, and my family is atheist, the reason why they dont have any friends in this state is because all the Utah moms are like that
The Doom Song 2 years ago
This sounds like my MIL. Always cleaning and yelling at her kids for well just being kids.
Sahil Islam 2 years ago
Yea the kids are enough work as it is but ain't no way my family will do any if that just because everyone expects you to
#21
The whole "don't say no" thing. Just....no.
MontanaMariner 2 years ago
Set boundaries early. Teach them to respect boundaries. No is an acceptable answer.
Lauren S 2 years ago
No is an acceptable answer and it’s okay for the kid to be upset about not getting their way too. Not throwing a tantrum or anything, but my child will cry and tell me he’s sad because he really wanted ____ . You can absolutely be sad and you can absolutely come tell me what you feel and why. The answer is still no, but I’ll hold you while you cry.
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Emily Ward 2 years ago
Kids absolutely need to hear no when appropriate to teach them what is and isn't acceptable. Otherwise they become spoiled adults who throw a fit when they don't get what they want. On the other spectrum, yes they can say no to some things like no i don't want to play baseball, but do not get to say no when you tell them they need to clean their rooms. There differences.
Sonja 2 years ago (edited)
I get where this is coming from and how it's meant. But still, the wold will not always explain everything. Sometimes you just get a no without any explanation. And kids need to learn that and how to deal with it. But how are they expected to learn it if they've never experienced it. Especially when it comes to personal feelings, children have to learn that sometimes people don't want to explain their feelings and this is okay. They don't have to. Let them be. Sometimes someone just doesn't want to do something. And says no. And that is fine too. They don't want to is answer enough. No means no can be abusive parenting if it happens always without any explanation whatsoever, still it's important that children learn it's true that if someone says no, they have to accept that.
Sahil Islam 2 years ago (edited)
Saying No teaches the kid boundaries and let's the kid know that what they are doing isn't right and shouldn't do it. For example- my brother and I were curious on how electric mosquito bats worked and, we were like 6 or 7 at the time, and were about to touch the metal fencing of the bat until my mother shouted No. I stopped and didn't touch it but my older brother didn't listen and got zapped.
JenC 2 years ago
I work at a school for kids with behavior difficulties. The worst kindergarteners and 1st graders are the ones who have never been told no. Once they start school suddenly have to do things they don't want to (work), stop playing when it's time for another activity, and get consequences for their actions.
Constance Mccue 2 years ago
I work at a daycare and we are not allowed to say no. We have to say you may not. We also can't call it time out, we have to say "rest your body". Which is total BS!
Nicole Barnes 1 year ago
You have to set boundaries for your kids so they don’t harm themselves or others. However the goal is to empower your kids with the critical thinking skills that allow them to set boundaries for themselves when you’re not around. My goal is to raise a kid that knows WHY no is no, so that they know when to say NO themselves
Morgan Anja Nielsen 2 years ago
Many Danes (including myself) parent from "don't say no" principles. It actually refers to an attitude towards parenting and not to never setting boundaries or never actually saying the word "no". It means showing and telling your children what they should do, rather than what not to do. Instead of simply saying 'no' to something, you lead them to another solution or activity that is permissible instead. It is giving your child solutions (active) instead of just limitations (passive) ... But thinking it means you should just never set boundaries? That's stupid.
Ashen Mccann (They/Them) 2 years ago
this is going back to the touching thing, there is something called sensory overloads, anyone can have them. I dont want to give family members a hug because i do not trust them enough yet. I am not stubborn, i do not need to learn to relax. I have had things happen to me in the past. even if i hadnt had that stuff happen, even before they happened, I only had like 4 people on my open touching list. I still have like 4, so, if your family or a friend, and you tell me to give you a hug, the answer is probably no. so respect my boundaries or we go NC ;)
#22
On the Mr. Mom thing I hate when strangers complement dads for doing the bare minimum. Particularly Boomers. If my husband, who absolutely 100% is a fantastic dad, takes the baby out by himself he gets called a good dad by strangers. It happens every time. Meanwhile I will be with the toddler. Once he took both kids to the playground by himself and got called a good dad for giving mum a break. I was having a break because I had been with them by myself for the past 72 hours while he was on a boys trip. No one told me I’m a good mum in that time…. Actually you know what from now on I’m going to start randomly saying this to other women when they’re on their own with the kids. Particularly on the weekend.
Tamra 2 years ago
My mother in law went into an exposition about how her son is "such a good man" when she found him making a meal for our son. Like, yes, he IS a good man, a wonderful man, but damn, he doesn't need an award for doing the bare minimum of parenting. 🙄
Rahul Pawa 2 years ago
Yes! Instead of taking away the dad compliments, let's collectively compliment moms too! More positivity in the world, not less.
#23
I hate the Suffering Olympics, making hurtful comparisons or treating parents of onlies like they aren’t experienced parents and are on easy street. We need to support one another and not dismiss other parents. I have one kid who is going on 6 and people treat me like I’m not a “real mom.” Whenever I try to talk about challenges or this or that, it’s like: “You don’t understand because you don’t have a boy.” (My MIL said this to me when my nephew was acting up at Xmas. He was a toddler being a toddler.) “Try twins.” -When I was almost hallucinating from lack of sleep, when she was a newborn. Made a comment about how having a baby was a lot of work but a lot of fun. “Just wait. You think 7 months is a lot of work, wait until she’s 7 and you have to deal with their emotions.” We have had almost no help her entire childhood thus far. I don’t go around telling people “must be nice,” that have grandparents or family nearby. Or “oh you have help? Imagine having no support.” I am just happy for them. I am very proud of what we’ve accomplished and do not need to win the Suffering Olympics to prove I’m a good mom.
MontanaMariner 2 years ago
Everything is a competition, and that is sad. My life is easier/better since I've stopped keeping score.
HelluvaHedgehogAlien 2 years ago (edited)
Just because you’ve got it worse (and most times that’s absolutely true) doesn’t mean you can invalidate other people who are also suffering.
JenC 2 years ago
Yes, absolutely true. Just because someone else has a broken arm doesn't make your your broken finger hurt any less.
Load More Replies... Emily Ward 2 years ago
This is the right attitude. Not the judging and boasting. I wish more people were like you and supported one another instead of trying to one up each other
Mila Preradović 2 years ago (edited)
When someone tries to pull that one on me, I just say "I know it's harder when there are two or more, that's exactly why I chose to have just one." Works like a charm. 😁
Load More Replies... Giraffy Window 2 years ago
"Wait till you have to deal with their emotions"? GROSS. You don't "deal" with a child's emotions, you teach them how to identify and work through them... when you have the bandwith for it. When you don't, you give them space and don't take it personally.
Natalie Doran 2 years ago
I hate the whole "other people have it worse so therefore your pain is invalid and you should stop complaining" argument.
Dread Pirate Roberts 2 years ago
LOL that one mom thinks kids don't have emotions till they're 7? I pity the child who has an insensitive moron like that for a mother.
Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My! 2 years ago
Cats win, every time. You all soft can-openers can relax now.
Andrew Keir 2 years ago
Four good things about cats - 1) they don't judge 2) they don't boast 3) they accept gifts pleasantly 4) they purr.....
Load More Replies... #24
Shaming breastfeeding moms or breastfeeding moms not being allowed to talk about breastfeeding without hearing someone bring up "nOt EvErYoNe cAn bReAsTfEeD". I get it. Most moms don't want to formula feed. I personally didn't want to because it's super expensive. But I should be able to talk about it without someone trying to make me feel bad about it or shaming me for giving my kid food.
Jeff White 2 years ago
100% agreement with this comment. The most important thing to remember is: if the baby is hungry, feed them. Absolutely no shame or even side eyes should be needed when feeding a baby.
Kraneia The Dancing Dryad 2 years ago
goes the other way too though, I've heard the breastfeeding crowd shame the formula feeders. "Your child will be giving mine his/her colds in school" etc etc etc. Maybe not worry about how other people feed their babies? Me, I don't care. You do you whatever you need to.
Lady Miss Pie 2 years ago
I was medically unable to breastfeed my baby, and the judgment I got from random strangers (women) was unbelievable. Like I was abusing her! It broke my heart—eventually I learned to ignore it but the first two months it made me cry.
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Emily Ward 2 years ago
I think it more hurts the women emotionally that wish they could and are not able to. Breast feed away. Just remember not everyones been as lucky in that department and they could be hurting deep inside from that.
Annik Perrot 2 years ago
My daughter and one of my DILs chose formula. My other DIL breastfed her two kids for almost à year. And you know what? All six of my grandkids are happy and healthy. As long as a baby is fed, loved and cared for, I don't think it makes much difference.
Say No to Downvoting 2 years ago
My sister was involved in her local Australian Breastfeeding Association group. They have a 24 hour support hotline run by trained breastfeeding councillor volunteer mums, regular meetings to support breastfeeding and parenting topics and have general peer support/kits play (and ALL types of feeding is welcome) and so lots of other education/promotion/support things. She was running a raffle, selling tickets and her local shops and the number of people who came and abused her (without her even opening her mouth) because she was “making formula feeling parents feel bad” was astounding and ridiculous. Supporting something and educating about something is not putting other people down. I’m sad these other women must have had such a hard time that they felt they had to offload all that anger.
Lady Gypsy Rain 1 year ago
I agree here but wish to mention that the formula feeding parents are frequently shamed for not breast feeding. I personally find this is the reason I’ve personally responded with I wanted to breast feed but physically was unable due to a breast reduction as a teenager. My youngest will be 23 in a few months and I will STILL be shamed for formula feeding when, not by my choice, I find myself caught up in this pissing contest. So please, can we just stop this entire conversation and just get around to feeding our children whether by breast or by bottle?
Rinoboyrich 1 year ago
“Not everyone can breastfeed” is BS! MOST women CAN breastfeed, but some just don’t WANT to. It’s your choice, but if you ACTUALLY can’t, you are an extreme rarity.
#25
Moms bragging about how they never leave their kids or go and do anything ever. Legit had a friend brag that she hasn’t spent a night away from her child who’s almost 5. Dude, that’s not a brag, that’s a serious problem and you need to separate yourself. Maybe she feels guilty because she works a TON during the week and feels a need to overcompensate? Either way, mom’s need time for themselves!
Lauren S 2 years ago
So my son is 7. He’s slept at my mom’s house for a night a handful of times (but it was drop him off around dinner, pick him up right after breakfast, so maybe 18 hours?). But my mom is getting older and my high energy kid really wears her down. I don’t think she could handle him for a whole weekend let alone a week. So I’ve barely spent time away from him. My husband bugs me about taking a vacation without my son but I really don’t see how.
Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My! 2 years ago
My cousin was never away from his mother until he started kindergarten. Guess who had a SERIOUS problem adjusting to school?
Anouk T 2 years ago
Honestly this is completely normal that kids spend time with their mums a lot and are not left without them at night at that age - not sure where you are but where I am kids go to preschool at 3yo and why would it be normal for parents to leave their kids for pre longer periods of time at that age? It’s ok to do that but it’s not a regular thing
Load More Replies... Lady Gypsy Rain 1 year ago
Not only does mom need me time, the child needs to learn healthy separation habits to avoid later anxiety and separation and attachment issues that could result in trauma and tantrums that make it worse for the parent and child.
Anouk T 2 years ago
Hmmmm ok not sure about bragging but there’s nothing wrong with not leaving your kids for a night for years because well that’s how some families dynamics work. Why would anyone force spending time away from their kids when they don’t have to or dont even want to? Forcing separation from kids on parents isn’t right either
Stephanie Barr 2 years ago
I would LOVE to be able to do that. Unfortunately, it hasn't worked out that way. And never will.
#26
The whole notion that teenagers are just terrible. I have a 16 and 19 year old, they are great, so are their friends.
Puck 2 years ago
So is my 14yo. I know 14 is just the beginning of puberty, but right now, besides loving him, i also really LIKE him as a person.
WonderWoman 2 years ago
Teen years are a rollercoaster - for both the child and the parents. The children are trying to figure out who they are while also trying to fit it. It is the age when peers have more influence over them than their parents.
Amelia Jade 2 years ago
Yes! My kids are/were awesome teens. And their friend have all been great. They're fun to talk too and I really appreciate their perspective on things.
- 2 years ago (edited)
Years back, a colleague told me that she worried about her two teenage boys. So I asked a few questions: "Are they doing drugs, drinking?" Nope. "Getting girls pregnant?" Nope, not dating anyone, just hanging around their friends. "Bad friends?" Nope, they're good kids. "Are they flunking courses?" "Oh no, they're both on the honour roll!" At that point, I asked "And you're worried about them??" She laughed and conceded, "I guess you're right." And I guess worrying is in her contract, lol.
Lady Gypsy Rain 1 year ago
Teenagers aren’t awful unless you’ve raised them to be so. Teenagers are just more challenging because they are becoming their own person with the ability to think for themselves more and more. As the adult in the life of a teenager, your parenting style needs to evolve to enforce boundaries meant to keep them safe and teach them they won’t always get their way while also allowing them to blossom without crushing their souls and learning to make decisions for themselves and allowing them to learn consequences that you so badly want to avoid on their behalf.
ObsidianAce_ 2 years ago
My mom said that sometimes when she’d talk about us (her kids) to friends/coworkers, she’d hear “oh the best age is __” or “just wait til you get to __, those years are the worst. She’d always tell us the best age is the one we’re at.
#27
Not wanting girls because of the “teenage years” or whatever age period they pick.
Javelina Poppers 2 years ago
Girls or boys, it doesn't matter because they're all little hormonal freaks as teenagers.
Sonja 2 years ago
If you don't want any specific sex, don't have children at all. You have no choice. You'll get what you get. And even if you do get the one you wanted, being unable to cope with the other means you are unfit for parenting because you are unable to teach your child to respect people who are different from them if you yourself are unable to do so.
Brainmas 2 years ago
Or if you do get what you want, it doesn't mean they are going to be the stereotype you want them to be. Your son might not want to play football, your daughter might not be a princess.
Load More Replies... BoredPossum 2 years ago
Kids of both genders aren't born with all the experience we have. They have to learn what works and not. They do that by trial and error. Of course they are gonna try bad strategies too.
Caitlin M. Maguire 2 years ago
I said to my mom once when recounting stories of immaturity from middle school, "teen boys have the judgement level of a lima bean".
Load More Replies... Brainmas 2 years ago
My 16 year old daughter is so rad. I see other people post about their awful teenages and I feel so lucky. Yeah we don't always see eye to eye, but she's just a really cool person. If your teenager is really that bad, there's a reason, and it has nothing to do with gender.
Valerie Valenta 2 years ago
The minute my son turned 15, I swear he turned into the biggest a*s. Emotions are emotions and hormones effect each child differently
3 Trash Pandas (She/They) 2 years ago
And every kid is different. My mom always said my brother and my’s teenage years were the easiest
Lady Gypsy Rain 1 year ago
I always heard not wanting girls because they might get pregnant. These parents all want boys to be able to avoid that. All the while forgetting that while girls may be the one to carry and give birth, it always takes a second player to create the baby. I always want to pull my hair out over this because you know this is the message they are giving their sons - how to be a deadbeat dad.
TMoxraaaar 2 years ago
Fathers still are often squicked out by periods and think they will be disgusted with her constantly.
#28
All of the gender stuff - "girls are easier," calling girls "busy" while just shrugging off boys having the same attention span because "that's just how boys are." Telling me that I'm not prepared for my soon to be born son since he is going to be so different from his sisters. Like, no, all toddlers have a short attention span and my son will be different because all children are different. Boys are little hooligans because their parents let them be, not because they are genetically predisposed to bad behavior.
Hanako-Kun 花子くん 2 years ago
I know a who family who has a lot of kids and the boys are so impolite and rude! its because they will *literally* say "boys will be boys" it makes me so angry!!😡😡😡
#29
Oh, how about this one, ladies. The idea that your children are all that you should/do need in order to be happy, and that if you do not feel this way or want something more, you are a bad mother. And people will actually try to make you feel guilty for not feeling this way. I have lost count of the number of people who have straight up told me that as long as I have my daughter I should be perfectly content in life, and if I am not I am a terrible mother who has something wrong with her
Giraffy Window 2 years ago
At least women aren't commited to the asylum for being discontent with their domestic lives any more.
Heather Vandegrift 2 years ago
All the psych hospitals closed, so while yes, thank goodness women aren't being treated like they are crazy for having the same feelings and needs and desires as men, not having anywhere for severely mentally ill people to go for intensive treatment means that most of them can't get help until they are arrested and go to prison
Load More Replies... LakotaWolf (she/her) 2 years ago
I have two cat children and two dog children… I’m a mother, right? XD
Andrew Keir 2 years ago
If they didn't grow inside you, or if they weren't formally adopted / step, then I'd query the 'mother' bit. But that's just my opinion. But, agreed, some animals are family too. And some family are just animals !
Load More Replies... Dread Pirate Roberts 2 years ago
Also getting pressured to get married and have kids, when you're a single woman, before it's too late *points to self*.
TMoxraaaar 2 years ago
Of all my friends' kids the one who is the most well-adjusted, polite, and happy is the one where his mom is a whole person. She raises him that while he is the most important to her that she is a person too and can't take care of him if she doesn't take care of herself at the same time. She lives close to her sister and mother, so they see him too, and she takes care of her niece when her sister does this. I think the European nobility concept of fostering is great. Trade kids for a summer or a couple of years so they learn how to cope without their parents there and still have supervision. They experience new things, and experience NOT being the center of attention.
#30
The newest one is posting videos of parents teaching their toddlers basic life tasks and thinking it’s a revolutionary thing while putting down their future partners. Like, “I’m teaching my daughter to build so that shes not impressed with your dusty son putting up a shelf,” or “Teaching my son to cook so that he’s not impressed by your daughter’s frozen lasagna!” It started out funny but like with everything it just got ruined and more outrageous. Feels like we’re raising a generation of really ungrateful and cruel people who can’t appreciate small things other people do because it’s “expected to be done”.
PFD 2 years ago
What's b******e? It's not often that a Pandafication stumps me but ??
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Kraneia The Dancing Dryad 2 years ago
The first part is good: teach your kids how to cook and clean and build and change the tire on a car (when they're old enough to work a jack of course!). Self sufficient children grow into self sufficient adults. Just leave off the second part, and focus more on self esteem and kindness and empathy.
Isaac Harvey 2 years ago (edited)
For once, how about “teaching my son/daughter how to [insert activity here] so he/she can live without a partner if he/she wants to”?
Andrew Keir 2 years ago
I'm told it's easier on your teeth if you heat it up a bit :-)
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#31
The idea that all parents lose their identities once they have children and become boring, souless, shells of their former selves who never do anything fun or for themselves.
LusciousofBorg replied:THIS ONE. I struggled with this so badly before I had my son, with people acting as if having a baby would end me. It hasn't, and he has added so much joy to my life. And I still do my nerdy, dweeby s**t.
Sahil Islam 2 years ago
Yea this stereotype is false. My parents still have fun even after having my two brothers and I.
Helena 2 years ago
Funny, every time I had a long-time friend have a baby, they fell off the face of the earth. Suddenly their friends were only people they were related to and the parents who had kids in similar grades and activities. I tried. Maybe its a midwest thing? But the second they have a kid, they cloak themselves in that identity and within 2 years, they're out of site.
AndThenICommented 2 years ago
I think that goes hand in hand with some of the other items on this list. There are people who feel like they’re supposed to lose their identity to be a ‘good’ parent, but it’s certainly not needed. Likewise, there are people who think having a kid means they’ll lose their identity and that’s just as false as. It’s very possible to remain your own person. Does it change people? Absolutely, but so does any major life event. It does not mean they’ll change fundamentally. I’m the only one with young kids in my friend group. We still act like ourselves, but we’ve added the kids to the social events. Some people would think we’re terrible parents because we include the kiddos in our lives, some would think we’re excellent parents. All I know is that my children are happy.
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Giraffy Window 2 years ago
Some do for a time though. I lost myself for the first couple years, and then slowly came back. It's not false, it's just not an over-arching thing that all parents experience.
Psycho Princess 2 years ago
Well jokes on them because I'm already boring and I don't have kids yet.
Luke Branwen 2 years ago
It does happen to a lot of people tho. One of my classmates got pregnant at like 16 and she made "mother" her entire personality. Like, I'm glad she stepped up to the responsibility even though she was a teen mom, but looking at her social media is downright unsettling.
Andrew Keir 2 years ago
Sounds as if she's dealing with a tough situation in her own way. Respect is due.
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Lady Gypsy Rain 1 year ago
This only happens to those parents who think a bag is to never leave their children’s side for even one night
#32
That, as a stepmom, I'm an evil b***h who hates her stepson. Or that I'm my husband's affair partner. Or that we're "playing house" and that I'm trying to replace my stepsons mother. All couldn't be further from the truth. I do step up to be the maternal figure he deserves since his mom has chosen to just see him 2 days a week but jfc, society (on line and in person) paints ne out to be the wicked witch for existing and it needs to stop.
MontanaMariner 2 years ago (edited)
My step mom was an evil b***h, and my dad was an a*****e. Outliving them has been the best form of payback. My stepfather has been more caring and supportive than he should have had to be.
Natalie Doran 2 years ago
Can relate even though she was only my biological father's girlfriend, so not really my stepmother. Both of them are piles of trash so getting kicked out and moving in with my mom and step-dad was the best thing that ever happened. My stepfather is my dad now, sperm donor can eat farts.
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Karma Black 2 years ago
My mother was extremely abusive. My stepmom was the mother I should've had from day one, and I miss her every day.
Aileen Grist 2 years ago
I have 3 step kids and we have always got along great - they're all adults with children of their own now - it's great being a grandma even though I couldn't have children. My husbands ex-wife and her partner are two of our best friends too.
Kraneia The Dancing Dryad 2 years ago
While I could be angry hubs left me and got remarried, stepmom has been a way better mom to our kid than I could have been. So I am content. Bonus: ex is now showing his true colors. Feel bad for stepmom now....
CD Mills 2 years ago
My parents divorced when I was ten. They had a bad yo-yo marriage, they married after only knowing each other for three weeks so... Their divorce became final a week before my 10th bd and I told my mom I already got my present, the divorce. My dad remarried a lady with two kids from her first marriage and then they had three more together. My second mom was the best! She treated me exactly like all the rest of the kids, with love and patience. I know how fortunate I was because I had friends who were dealing with step-parents who were awful.
Stephanie Barr 2 years ago
Mydaughter's stepmother is so great and I'm grateful she has such a fine woman in a household that I think was stressful for her before.
Mistress of Anarchy 1 year ago
Ok hear me out what if that actually happens to people? All legend/story/whatever is based in fact, at least somewhat.
Sami-Jo Ross 2 years ago
My stepmom has been far more of a mom to me than my birthing unit ever was.
Emily Ward 2 years ago
Depends on the situation. My sister was indeed the evil step mother. It was bad. I on the other hand have met only one of my step children who are all adults, and the daughter decided whatever negative ideas she wanted to make up about me but it doesnt bother me. She can have her opinion and so can others, it doesnt effect me in any way
#33
Negative stereotypes of SAHMs--that they're uneducated, lazy, spending their hardworking husband's money, don't do anything all day, etc. I recently became a SAHM after working outside the home my entire career and I'm shocked at how often those stereotypes are openly thrust upon me. People feel no shame about it. We just had a tax appointment and we own two businesses--a general contracting firm and a small farm. My husband said that the GC is the main source of income and that "the farm is, yknow--" and the accountant cut him off, looked at me, and said "just something to keep *you* busy?"
Emily Ward 2 years ago
Honestly depends on the situation. I know some stay at home moms who r very busy all day keeping up with everything and some who dont do squat except spend money and watch tv
Emily Ward 2 years ago
You didn't actually say anything wrong its that people dont like to admit they are a dependent. As if its a bad word. Ive done the stay at home thing and the working thing. Yes i was a dependent, end of story. Yes i would have been screwed if he died cause the income would have been gone and i hadnt been working. So i get what u r saying and im not mad at you for it. If you choose to be stay at home, yes you need to accept some people will talk c**p and you need to get over it. Why care so much what people say or think?
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Mechanician 2 years ago
They don't warn SAHMs that earning Social Security quarters during the peak years is essential to a person who becomes ill or disabled later in life. It's also hard as can be to become financially independent if a marriage doesn't stay happy. Many women end up trapped, all because they chose not to pay for childcare, but to stay home and make a home. This role is not valued, despite what it would cost to pay for all the things a wife and mom at home can do.
Bex 2 years ago
Too much is tied to formal work in the US. Our healthcare, SS, ability to contribute to an IRA. We need to change the rules and accept that caregivers DO work, and that even if their limited income is second hand, it's still earned. This is one of many reasons universal healthcare and universal basic income are more equitable. Only a tiny fraction of people do literally nothing for a living, and most of them are in well off families or have other issues.
Load More Replies... TMoxraaaar 2 years ago
Every time I hear that a husband has said "you laze around all day".. I know 100% that he is saying that if he was the SAHD HE would definitely laze around all day.
Donna Peluda 2 years ago
There's all sorts. I know plenty of wives that after having a child turned it to SAHMs and outright refused to go back to work.
WonderWoman 2 years ago
This kind of c**p happens to working women all the time. Women are constantly having their accomplishments reduced to hobbies, and things that are 'fun'. It is absolutely worse for SAHM, I agree
#34
The only child stereotypes.
RedRose_812 replied:
As a mom to an only child (and not by choice, because infertility is a b**ch, but people who are one and done by choice hear this cr*p too), I am so tired of hearing that 'you're not a real mom/parent/family until you have more than one child.' Having my parenting struggles diminished because I have 'just one,' being told that I should 'give [my] daughter a sibling,' that she must be so lonely without a sibling to play with, or that she'll be a selfish, spoiled, unsocialized weirdo without a sibling — just stop.
Jeevesssssss 2 years ago
Oh ffs. Only child here (my parents only ever wanted one). I grew up very comfortable with my own company and able to entertain myself, and a ferocious reader - i was never lonely. As it turned out, my MH was pretty dire (unrelated to being an OC), and having siblings would have caused so much additional tension/unhapppiness/resentment in the household. I'm so grateful it's only me, and always have been.
MetaMaxNL 2 years ago
THIS": Oh ffs. Only child here (my parents only ever wanted one). I grew up very comfortable with my own company and able to entertain myself, and a ferocious reader - i was never lonely. THANK YOU, im the same
Load More Replies... MezzoPiano 2 years ago
"Well, I wanted to have more, but all the others died..... annnnndddd I hope we've just learned a valuable lesson about thinking before we speak." Seriously, though, I have two eleven years apart, because of a combination of infertility and adopting an older child we fostered. The people who ask me which one was an oops is just... The answer is neither. Neither was an oops. (Well, oldest may have been for his birth mother, but he certainly wasn't for us.)
TMoxraaaar 2 years ago
My mother had me right out of high school (exactly 9 months). She had my youngest brother at 42. I was 23, my younger brother was 17. He was living with his dad, I was out of the house. He was the only child (we were adults) and lived alone with them. He is psychologically an only child too. On my Logic final in college (I went back for additional degrees after he was born) we were told to write a paradox. This one got me extra-credit.
Brainmas 2 years ago
Yeah it really sucks that people feel the need to comment on this s**t. Had a waiter make me cry once because I only have one and he decided I should have more because he has 4 and it's so great and fulfilling, but we tried for so many years to have a second kid and it didn't happen. You don't know people's situations, so shut it.
Silre (she/her) 2 years ago
I was perfectly happy being an only child. I didn't have to share my mom and grandparents with anyone!
meow point1 2 years ago
Apparently when I (F) was three, strangers would tell Mum that I needed a brother.
Lauren S 2 years ago
I only have one child and I am so grateful I was able to have him. Took 11 months to conceive him, could never give him a sibling, tried for years. So yeah, these comments hurt because I feel guilty I couldn’t give him a sibling. My brother also has an only child and my son adores her, but we live far away. I hope as grown ups they can support each other the way siblings do with dealing with parental illness, needing care, and dying. Somehow, that’s the part I feel like I’m leaving him without.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 2 years ago (edited)
Don’t feel bad. My parents had one biological child and wanted her to have a sibling, so they adopted me at birth. My sister and I loathe each other, have never gotten along, and she’s routinely verbally and physically abusive towards me (I’m 41, she’s 47.) When our dad died, my sister bailed, and I’m the one who stayed and held his hand as he passed. Giving a child siblings is no guarantee they’ll get along - and I am sure your son is loved, cared for, and fulfilled even though he’s an only child :)
Load More Replies... Elio 2 years ago
The weird thing is that I never hear only children say that people with siblings must be a$$holes. It's always the negative stereotypes with only children.
CF 2 years ago
That is so weird too, especially when I am convinced that so much of what I hated about my ex was his "last baby syndrome" defensiveness and rapid denial of anything and everything. Everytime I could picture his older siblings sitting on him, teasing, or otherwise punishing him and causing these traits I detested to develop..
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Nerd Groupie 2 years ago
"But she needs a friend!" First of all, where are these siblings that were magically BFF the day they were born? My brothers and I were brutal to one another. Plus, she has cousins, school, and activities. She has lots of friends. "What if something happens to her?" Um. I'll be just as devastated as if I had more kids? I'm not having another one so I can "have a spare" or whatever delusion you are implying. "She'll grow up selfish!" Maybe, maybe not. We're trying our best. I know plenty of a-holes that grew up with siblings.
#35
The stupid every time someone has a girl "She has her daddy wrapped around her little finger!" Dumbassery. It's annoying and kind of creepy.
MontanaMariner 2 years ago
My 4 year old niece has become one of my best friends(38/male), and I'll do anything for her. I've dressed as a dinosaur for a baseball game, etc. Strangers have said similar things and it's creepy. I'm not wrapped around anything, I'm just being supportive.
Gatorman 2 years ago
On god, I plan on going all out for future kids. Wear a princess outfit for a birthday party? Turn the trampoline into a makeshift boxing ring? Already done.
Load More Replies... Emily Ward 2 years ago
Dont sexualize it or act like its a she owns you thing. thats you being creepy. It has always meant they had a strong relationship and hed do anything for her because he loves her that much. Dont make it weird when its not. You wouldnt make it weird and creepy sounding if it was a son and dad that were close.
Emily Ward 2 years ago
It can be true though. Some daddy daughter bonds are tight and thats ok they love each other that much.
Mistress of Anarchy 1 year ago
Ohmygosh he's wrapped around her fingerrrrr isn't that so cuuuttteeee???!?!?!??!?!? (This is satire, if you couldn't tell.)
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#36
Schools calling mom when then us a behavioral issues or the kid is sick/injuries. It’s 2023. Both parents usually work. My kids former school despite putting down that dad was to be called first insisted they call me. Never mind that my husband worked from home and it five minutes from school at any given moment they decide to call who works outside the home about 10 minutes away but wouldn’t be able to leave until they find coverage for my department. I understand calling me if they can’t reach my husband, but they didn’t even try to reach him. Often times I would text him to see if they called him and he said no but would then go in and explain to call him first and next time same issue.
Emily Ward 2 years ago
Im old. My school just called the house phone and if noone answered then tried work numbers for either.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 2 years ago
Heh, same. If neither parent answered anywhere, I just sat in the nurse’s office like a confused potato for hours XD
Load More Replies... Jinx (she/her) 2 years ago (edited)
my sons psychologist ( sp? ) does this. i have a lot of social anxiety and various other issues that make it difficult for me to talk on the phone, so husband does most of the talking for me. my son has a video chat with the dr once a month, and we've told them not to call me for payment, to call husband for that, but me for the appt. every single month they call me the morning of the appt. and if i don't answer, they just leave a message for me and never call him. i have to then text him to call them for payment. it's exhausting
Huddo's sister 2 years ago
I usually call whoever is listed first on the child's enrolment and then try the second one if there is no answer. More often than not this is the mum, because she has filled out the form.
Caitlin M. Maguire 2 years ago
My school would call my mom first on her cell phone, she was readily avaiable. If she wasn't, I'd try my dad. Usually mom was the first to get us, dad only did a few times. (Mom worked in the suburbs, dad worked in the city).
#37
Piercing kids' ears until they are old enough to consent. It’s so sad to see infants with their ear lobes pierced.
Duh 2 years ago
What you wrote? It's called "whataboutism" and it takes away from the very real problem on the original post by saying the problem you mentioned is worse. Then nothing gets done. Please make a post about whats important to you, or perhaps agree with a "yes, and the same can be said for..." type of statement.
Load More Replies... Aqsa Azam 2 years ago
I had my ears pierced as a baby. I don't mind. Better than having to get them pierced in all my conscious glory now where I will feel scared and anxious and pain. And if someone doesn't like them, don't wear earrings and they will close up on their own. I don't understand the big deal. Some things feel like a stretch.
nini 2 years ago
There still is a risk of infection and scarring. It's an unnecessary "intervention".
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TMoxraaaar 2 years ago
That doesn't mean it is not damaging and the kid doesn't get to decide. Female genital mutilation is culture too. When "respecting" your culture means I have to put up with you oppressing me or anyone else I'm not cooperating.
Load More Replies... WonderWoman 2 years ago
Let's not perform any kind of non-essential changes to babies until they can consent. No ears pierced no circumcisions.
contre kems 2 years ago
Had my ears pierced rather early (7 yo ?), I only remember going there, but hardly more, only that I was cool with it (although I can't remember being asked if I wanted them pierced, not that I haven't been asked, mind you) and happy that as I grew up. I've gone and got my lobe punctured 3 more times since then :)
PFD 2 years ago
I don't think "sad", but I don't like the gender assumptions it usually involves. We got so many negative comments for not having our daughter's ears pierced ("everyone will think she's a boy" etc.). She chose to get them done later... also nose, septum, eyebrow, tongue etc. Oddly the same people complained about that, too...
placeholder4eva 2 years ago
While I got them pierced at a young age and am happy with it, that is DEFINITELY not true for everyone. I actually asked my mom for a second piercing but she said no, while my three year old sister is getting her ears pierced because it's Mom's "tradition".
Heather Talma 2 years ago
Apparently one of the first things my grandma ever said about me was "Oh look at her little ears, perfect for piercing!" Friends I was a newborn.
#38
That children are just awful, horrible little monsters all the time, any kid will "ruin" everyone's time if they're in a restaurant, and that kids should just stay home. And that all parents are lifeless creatures who are ruining everything. This is usually from the rude end of the "childfree lifestyle" people. I think I've been far more disturbed, annoyed, harassed, and offended by other adults in my life, but ok, one ig video of a little kid crying quietly for a second and it's all "I hAtE kIdS. ThIs Is WhY i UsE bIrTh CoNtRoL". Nobody cares that you hate kids and have no patience and this trend of loudly proclaiming how much you hate whole groups of people based on factors they can't control is going to look pretty gross in a few years.
Say No to Downvoting 2 years ago (edited)
Yup. It really bothers me that kids seem to be exempt from the “no bullying/name calling/discrimination” world we are trying to build. No can go around saying “I hate ethnicity/ability/gender/sexual orientation”, so why can they say it about kids?
Mistress of Anarchy 1 year ago
Because they're silly little guys. That's why.
Load More Replies... Tamra 2 years ago
There are plenty of those people right here on BP. On any child-free post you'll see dehumanizing terms like "breeders" and "crotch goblins", with comments directed to women to "keep their legs closed".
Melissa 2 years ago
seriously, the attitudes towards children on those pages are pretty extreme and rude towards people who choose to be parents or want to be someday. I don't care if people want to be childfree but don't be a******s to people who make different choices... basically what they want from other people. So much hypocrisy.
Load More Replies... Javelina Poppers 2 years ago
The reason that some kids are horrible little monsters is because their parents are horrible big monsters.
Say No to Downvoting 2 years ago
Well, no, sometimes some kids are just more difficult to parent.
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Lauren Clarke 2 years ago (edited)
I don’t agree with dehumanizing anyone but I think women in particular have been dehumanized for choosing not to be mothers and admitting that they do not adore kids like they’re supposed to. I think they feel empowered to speak their truth. However, again, I don’t agree with calling kids crotch goblins. Two wrongs don’t make a right.
Tamra 2 years ago
You're right. Women have had to fight for so long for every opportunity: to vote, to work, to have their own damn checking account...it seems like the right to be child-free (and not be harassed for it) is another frontier to conquer.
Load More Replies... Panda Bear 2 years ago
I’m child free by choice and I would never say this about kids. Most kids that act out just have crappy parents that don’t teach them consequences
- 2 years ago
I like kids, but didn't want any of my own. A few years ago, I was FB friends with a vocal and repeated hater of parents & children. I unfriended them the day I was on the verge of revealing my shocking past: "I was a child." On the other hand, I have no issue with the in-law who casually told me just once "I don't really like kids" before switching to another topic.
Natalie Doran 2 years ago
Due to being autistic I'm very sensitive to noise and therefore I can be easily irritated by babies or young kids, but there's no way I'd walk up to someone and say "THIS IS WHY I USE BIRTH CONTROL! I HATE BABIES!"
Ivana Bašić 2 years ago
Especially lately with everybody forgetting why headphones were invented. I've had to ask so many adults to turn off their speakers in places where it should go without saying (doctor's waiting room, quiet section of the train, shared offices), and many of them weren't even that young.
#39
When my husband travels for work, the assumption that life goes on like normal. But when I travel for work, there's always an assumption that I will arrange for my husband to have help when I am gone.
Nightshade1972 2 years ago
I'm reminded of the guy whose wife was supposed to have elective surgery, and she'd be recovering in the hospital for two weeks. Before she went in, she made two weeks' worth of dinners for him and put them in the freezer, so when he got home from work all he had to do was put dinner in the microwave. Towards the end of the two weeks, the doctors told him she wasn't recovering as they'd hoped, and she'd need to stay for another week. He was furious. "I'm about to run out of dinners, if she doesn't come home soon, what am I going to do?!"
Ivana Bašić 2 years ago
Left for a weekend once, everybody kept asking if they would be okay. Been left with my daughter for months at a time, including when she was a baby, no one bats an eye.
Caitlin M. Maguire 2 years ago
My dad did have help while mom was gone, but to be fair, he worked long hours in the city, and had two tiny humans to keep alive. Although when my mom was on bed rest in the hospital during her first pregnancy, dad was left alone...he was constantly bothering my mom.
#40
My husband and I both work from home with very flexible schedules but I have the much larger workload. We split household stuff pretty even, and then he takes on more of the childcare to balance my workload. We take time to do events and activities all together, but he does breakfast, drop off, pick up, dinner, bathtime while I work. While we both signed up as volunteers for school, my husband signed up as room parent. Apparently he was the only dad in the whole school, so he is called a Room Mom 😂 I know it annoys him a teensy bit but I find it hilarious and I know he wouldn't want a separate title, other than maybe Room Dad or Room Parent instead.
Milady Blue 2 years ago
My Mom was the leader of a Girl Scout troop, Junior age, and my Dad was one of the co-leaders. It was a lot of fun, especially when the other girls and I tried to talk him into wearing an official Scout leader's uniform, the formal one with a skirt. Dad would blush, and say that he didn't have the legs for a skirt.
Andrew Keir 2 years ago
Wear a kilt. It straightens your shoulders (and your backbone) and puts 'smeddum' in your character; and you become a one-man marching pipe-band (without the noise ;-) ). There is no word for 'shy' in Gaelic !
Load More Replies... Mabelbabel 2 years ago
My dear old dad absolutely loved children. He lived very close to a primary school (ages 6-11) and after retirement from work, he became a part time class room assistant. The principal said they wished more men went into primary school teaching-every teacher was female, and many of the children didn't have a positive male role model in their lives, so dad ended up as a surrogate grandfather for a lot of them. He also volunteered at a local museum as a guide, and at Christmas, he dressed up as the museum's Santa Claus (he already had a big white beard). Because it was local, he knew a lot of the children coming to Santa's grotto, and was able to surprise them by saying things like 'You're Sam, and your little sister is Emily, and you've got a puppy called Boris" It absolutely convinced the kids that Santa was real and knew all about them.
Brainmas 2 years ago
It's rare to have dads in the classroom, but it's so awesome when they come in. Having dads around sets a good example for the kids. There are already so few male teachers. Some kids don't have good male role models in their lives, but are surrounded by supportive women because that's the vast majority of school employees. Seeing dads come in and work with kids, just being kind and helpful, and loving these kids is something we need more of.
#41
That once you’re a parent your social life goes out the window. I have 3 best friends from college and I’ve now taken two absolutely wild weekend trips to NYC with them and in the planning phase of a Europe trip. My husband is amazing and goes into super dad mode to watch the kids and I am forever grateful for that opportunity. When I know my kids are safe and cared for, I can really let loose and just be *myself* in ways I wouldn’t be able to when they’re around. I don’t get that time very often (once every year or two) but it’s enough to reignite the spark of who I am now and who I once was. I hate the idea that if I’m out, and a stranger finds out I’m a mom, their first reaction is to condescendingly ask “where are your kids?”
Donna Peluda 2 years ago
I'm single with a dog and have a great social life. She's getting on now but since she was trained well enough she comes everywhere if I can take her. Work, lunch, concerts pubs holiday etc. If people see me without her the ask if she's ok because it odd.
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Caitlin M. Maguire 2 years ago
Social life? What is that? I'm 29, no kids and I don't have a social life, I prefer to stay home, less people!
Matthew Barabas 2 years ago
super dad mode? that implies he doesnt do his fair share of parenting.
catmom3 2 years ago
Both my husband and I traveled extensively and separately when my kids were younger. We also were able to work our (full-time) positions pretty much around each other. The kids were always able to have at least one parent available at all times. Mt husband, although brought up entirely differently, saw it as his job no less than mine , to be with our two children
Jayeff Vee 2 years ago
I've been a professional musician all of my life. As well as working a 40 - 60 hr a week job. People asked if I was going to retire from gigging. No. When my sons were born, they would sometimes be at rehearsals, or come with me to move equipment, and listen to sound check and load out if it was in the afternoon. Don't change yourself or you're not being honest with your child.
#42
Mama Bear. Boys will be boys.
Emily Ward 2 years ago
This is one that does aggravate me. You are not teaching them there are boundaries and repercussions from their actions. They often become horrible men towards other people.
Lady Gypsy Rain 1 year ago
Ok. But sometimes mama bear is a necessity. I’ve had my children mistreated in the hospital setting and I had to go full on mama bear and get their regular doctor involved in protecting my children. It’s not a mode I use just anywhere anytime. But sometimes it’s completely warranted. And as a single parent when it happened (actually married but the dad was overseas fighting other people’s wars due to following orders) there is sometimes no other option.
#43
The general labeling of parents, and the competition/ comparing that comes with it. SAHM vs working mom Crunchy vs silky Baby led vs purées Gentle parenting vs other styles Sleep training vs cosleeping It’s exhausting and you are always a terrible parent in someone’s eyes.
Berlytea 2 years ago
I'm a big ol squeezy hugs and cuddles I love you so much my little squishy, but also you best act like you have some home training or we're going to step into another room and fix your attitude kind of mama. I wish somebody would say something! I'll tote you into another room too! 🤣
Heather Murphy 2 years ago
I am a single mom and sleep with my 4-year-old daughter. My aunt thinks it's the worse thing I could do to her.
Ivana Bašić 2 years ago
Enjoy it! We coslept until 6yo, when I had to move her out because of some back problems. She sleeps so well in her own room, falls asleep quickly and sleeps through the night. When her father is away, she will still come back to the big bed and I love those little moments.
Load More Replies... Mabelbabel 2 years ago
According to crunchy moms, silky moms are lazy. Silky moms use modern medicine, vaccinations, formula feed, use convenience food like ready made baby puree, modern technology, screen time, disposable diapers, don't do attachment parenting, don't co-sleep etc. There are also scrunchy moms, who occupy the middle ground with having some silky traits and some crunchy practices. It's all nonsense really-it's your child, do what fits best with you, him/her and the rest of the family.
Load More Replies... Lady Gypsy Rain 1 year ago
The only opinion that should matter, as long as the kids are safe and not being neglected or mistreated, is the parents actually raising the kids. My parents didn’t like the fact that my oldest child and spouse opted to raise their child as they/them until they are old enough to decide for themself. My parents were literally bragging that if the child came to their home, they’d use gender specific pronouns and double down they’d teach the child who they “really are.” I went straight to my kid and told them that and warned them to never trust their grandparents until they promised to respect the parents wishes. My parents learned really fast I was not an ally in their corner and that they better learn to respect the parents wishes if they ever wanted to see their great Grand baby.
#44
“Helicopter Parent.”
Javelina Poppers 2 years ago
OMG, my grandson is dating a girl with a helicopter mother who could turn into a helicopter MIL. We discovered a tracking app the woman had put on my grandson's phone without his knowledge.
Bookworm 2 years ago
I'm pretty sure that's turbo-illegal? Like, I can't imagine it's not a felony to secretly track someone else's kid.
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Alyssa Phillips 2 years ago
There's a new one I heard the other day -- lawn mower parent. They go ahead of their kids and make sure nothing causes them any issues.
MontanaMariner 2 years ago
Parents that hover over their children and control every move they make. Rarely let the kid be a kid.
Load More Replies... #45
If you follow this Parenting Style, your kids will turn out perfect. I'm such a great parent that's why my naturally calm, attentive, mellow kid is that way.
Mabelbabel 2 years ago
There isn't a one-size-fits-all style at all. Every child-parent relationship is going to be a bit different because every child and every parent is a different personality, and the only way to successfully parent is working out what works with each individual child. Obviously there are some hard rules, like don't let your 3 year old attempt to juggle with carving knives, but for the most part, you learn through experience that what works for one, won't work with another.
Andrew Keir 2 years ago
That and, listen to them. They're learning to communicate and feedback is important to learning.
Load More Replies... Becky Lombard 2 years ago
I have two amazing sons, now in their mid 30s. When people complement me on how great they are, I feel like a deer in the headlights and can only feel how lucky and blessed I am! Just really surprised that people think they control who their children are! I think the main ingredient for being a good parent is a sense of humor.
Freya the Wanderer 2 years ago
Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories. - John Locke
#46
Telling parents of younger kids "just wait until they're X age."
Lauren S 2 years ago
Several of us all had babies around the same time at my job (unintentional, just happened, I’m talking 5 of us had 9 babies in less than 2 years, 2 sets of twins! 2 moms had back to back babies), three of us still work there. Since our kids are so similar in age we talk about all kinds of stuff. A younger woman has had two babies since she’s been working with us. All the time she is like: no one told me about that! She gets this 5 year preview of all kinds of random things to look forward to as her babies grow.
Lady Gypsy Rain 1 year ago
Worse yet, telling teenagers (who by definition are going through hormonal changes and still haven’t learned how to process all of the changes and the strength of emotions during these changes), “I hope you have kids who are just as awful as you.” Like the parents saying this didn’t have anything at all to do with how these kids are acting and nothing to do with helping them learn how to process the changes and emotions.
Caitlin M. Maguire 2 years ago
Unless they're talking about the kid being of driving age, in which case, good luck keeping them home.
#47
That any kind of physical punishment aka abuse is necessary for some kids/families. Spanking is not okay. It’s abuse. Let’s start calling it as such.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 2 years ago (edited)
I would get beaten with whatever was in or near my mom’s hand - pan, spoon, spatula, landline phone handset, chancla (shoe). If she didn’t have a weapon nearby, she would just grab me by my hair or shirt and throw me across the room. The worst times were when she was cooking and had a kitchen knife in her hand already. I still have quite a few hair-thin scars. Most hilarious of all? I’m 41, she’s 80, and she’s STILL physically abusive. And my sister (her bio child) tells me constantly that I “should spend more time with Mom”. My sister was my mom’s “actual child” and NEVER got hit or beaten.
Emily Ward 2 years ago
I was spanked and im ok with it. Taught me not to be a pain in the butt or do wrong things. Its abusive if it goes overboard. Dont be ridiculous. Not the same thing
Lizz 2 years ago
3 warnings and 4th time a spanking. That was my rule. After one spanking max 2 warnings was enough to get my kid to behave
Load More Replies... JayWantsACat 2 years ago
I got the belt as a kid. It did not deter me from messing up, just made me resent/hate my father. As well as his emotional abuse.
Freya the Wanderer 2 years ago
Corporal punishment doesn't always help. Sometimes all it does is teach kids to lie, or cover for each other, or listen for Dad's footsteps down the hall or up the stairs. One former co-worker of mine told me he got spanked a lot as a boy, and it didn't improve his behavior once he realized that the sting of a spanking vanished, but the satisfaction of getting away with mischief didn't.
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Dorothy Stovall 2 years ago
I wasn't a big spanker when my kids were small, BUT there were a couple of times when they did something so dangerous that my first reaction was a spanking so quick and hard that they would never do that again. I'm not proud of that kind of reaction, but it did work.
Lara Verne 2 years ago
You should hear how people start bitching when we discuss ban of physical punishments. They all argue that it's impossible to have well-behaved child without it.
AsylumWalker 2 years ago
because they can't be bothered actually learning how to parent their child
Load More Replies... Lady Gypsy Rain 1 year ago
I used very light corporal punishment for my oldest child’s first four years after a 3 count aloud for them to be obedient. That year I became a son to be divorced and pregnant parent (husband wanted girlfriends, I said no. He was also extremely volatile and I had to protect my oldest from him those first four years while he was also abusive to me. I was a long time victim of abuse at hands of men in my life). Once I separated, I realized my own temper was becoming volatile and I could hurt my children if I continued with spankings. No matter how light they were atm. I made a vow to never lift another finger to my kids for their safety.
Ross “Sarcastic Dad” 2 years ago
The only thing you teach them is "might makes right". Doesn't work with parenting, doesn't work with adults. F**k those people.
#48
When looking for cookbooks on baby food, so many of them were titled "New Moms' Cookbook", "Mommy & Me...", or some variation. My husband is the primary cook in our household, and it was off putting to once again see the reinforcement of gender roles around parenting. Similar vein as some others on here, how hard is it to remove the gendered language on this one?
LakotaWolf (she/her) 2 years ago (edited)
I don’t have human children, but my bf is absolutely the cook in our family. When our older dog was sick as a puppy (distemper), boyfriend would cook him egg scrambles and hand-feed him, as that’s all puppy would eat at the time. (And it kept puppy fed and alive - he survived and is nearly 2 now!) Boyfriend made the entire Thanksgiving meal himself as well - turkey and 6 sides. I washed dishes as I excel at that :p I do not excel at cooking.
CD Mills 2 years ago
My daughter's SO is an awesome cook, my daughter, not so much. My son is a very good cook, I taught both of them but it never stuck with her. Now if it's baking, she's got you. It doesn't matter to any of them or their spouses or kids WHO is standing at the stove, they just want to eat!
Load More Replies... Lady Gypsy Rain 1 year ago
My mom has never been a good cook. She has some dishes she does quite well, but living off of just a few dishes isn’t healthy. My dad, oth, was allowed in his family kitchen w/ free rein to learn & experiment. He turns out fantastic meals & has been the primary cook in the home for as long as they have been married (adoptive father, mom’s 2nd marriage). My mother now has Parkinson’s & really can’t do cooking & most housework. Dad is now retired 2x over & happily takes on the cooking & most cleaning, even so far as lightly fussing at my mom if she does dishes. He also spends time w/ me teaching me to do dishes that I’ve always struggled with (I was not taught to cook, learned through self teaching after I was married the 1st time. I’m now a fantastic cook from scratch but have had multiple head injuries, been assaulted in the hospital & left unable to feel fr/ chest down for a year until I had spinal surgery. My tremors are so bad I can’t cook alone. My 2nd hubby passed in 2018.
Andrew Keir 2 years ago
Very. "Parent and me" just doesn't work; but, maybe, don't judge a book by its title?
Mistress of Anarchy 1 year ago
Can't tell what this comment is about, and it's making me wonder why everyone is downvoting you
Load More Replies... #49
Ridiculous kids meals. why not kids portion fish and chips or steak frites. why always pasta or pizza or hamburger or chicken fingers. give the kids something nice. My kids love fish and chips and i always get a normal portion size (usually quite large) and split it between my kids.
Lauren S 2 years ago
Any parents of picky eaters? I tried to give him a huge variety of foods. I tried just giving what we were eating. He wouldn’t eat, would say he’s full, and 20 min later say he’s hungry. He simply will not eat most things. I’m talking I couldn’t get him to try cake until he was 3. I couldn’t get him to try soda until he was 5. He still won’t eat ice cream. I obviously didn’t force or push these unhealthy foods. I’m just trying to show he’s only going to eat what he wants. He had some medical issue come up around 3 years old and we needed to modify his diet. Oh boy. We’d serve him one food at a time, small portions that got larger over time, of the disliked foods he needed. The meal ended with whatever it was he wanted (nuggets, pizza, etc), he had to eat the other foods to get to the “good” one. I also spoon fed my 3 year old for months (the attention increased his compliance with eating these foods).
Lisa T 2 years ago
He might have sensory issues, so has problems with textures? My 18 year old daughter always seemed “picky”, but we found out was because of the textures, not the taste. Very common in people on the spectrum
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Lady Gypsy Rain 1 year ago (edited)
I wish options for kids sized portions of healthy meals were an option in restaurant. How will you ever teach kids to enjoy healthy options if you only feed them Mac and cheese, pizza, burgers, grilled cheese or chicken nuggets. Certainly keep these less healthy options on the menu for picky eaters or children who get healthy at home every day and deserve a small treat when eating out. But where are the options for the grilled fish, the grilled chicken, salads etc?
Matthew Barabas 2 years ago
i think its like that for legal reasons. if you give kids food thats difficult to eat, that may cause some liability issues.
Tyranamar Seuss 2 years ago
Kids meals are because most children have a more simple palate. That's biology folks. Keeps small people from getting poisoned.
#50
I hate the idea that toddlers (age 2-4) are terrible & terrorizing / threenagers / ‘f*ck you fours / etc. I really don’t think its healthy to label your child’s completely normal developmental stage so negatively. I don’t believe this framing is actually helping parents. Of course we need to be able to vent when overwhelmed but I don’t feel its constructive to give a label to an entire age or window of time.
Bex 2 years ago (edited)
Yeah this I attribute to the same impulse as gallows humor. It's a bonding/coping thing. Hang around a few medical professionals. We can be some dark humor souls. We've seen some sh*t.
Load More Replies... Lady Gypsy Rain 1 year ago
I also think these labels are awful for the parents. They are told for years, wait for terrible twos, etc. giving them anxiety and completely expecting those things to come true. It gives parents a reason to opt out on providing instruction and love during those years and becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.
CD Mills 2 years ago
There are so many kids that don't fit these dumb stereotypes it's not even funny but when someone finds out the age of your kid they start telling you what flavor of horrid little monsters they are based on an arbitrary age. It's nothing more than stereotypical c**p, even twins are different! Just stop it, these things are NOT universal.
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HelluvaHedgehogAlien 2 years ago (edited)
And also, talking about teenagers like they’re some sort of bizarre other species and not as rational, functional human beings. There are so many people casually referring to the entire ‘teenager’ age and trying to explain their behavior as if they’re studying some kind of nocturnal amphibian.
Multa Nocte 2 years ago
Sort of the way some people talk about Millenials and Boomers? 😉
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Emily Ward 2 years ago
All the parents here need to be more supportive to each other and stop trying to shame, judge, or one up each other or fathers. Be a community together instead. Let dads have a little praise too. Let step parents have praise. Noone is better than anyone else. Be nice to one another.
Nerd Groupie 2 years ago
Parenting is hard. Know what makes it harder? The constant judgment. There is no "constructive" criticism if I didn't specifically ask for advice. The worst is people without kids or who haven't raised kids since the dark ages. You don't know me or my kid, or what we're going through. Step back. According to the internet I'm the worst parent ever. Including but not limited to feeding my child "literal poison" (Lucky Charms) I can't stand people that passive aggressively talk to me kid either. "Looks like mommy didn't put socks on you today!" Calm down, Debra. It's 90 degrees and she kicks them off anyway. Or the people that feel the need to comment on a kid throwing a fit in public. Hey, know who is else is probably annoyed? The parents! We would also prefer our child was a perfect angel all the time. But are YOU calm all the time? You never get upset as an adult? Imagine being a tiny person trying to figure out emotions and situations. And don't tell me my kid is good birth control.
Nerd Groupie 2 years ago
Man I have so much more I didn't realize there was a limit to how much we could enter. Can we please just support one another?
Load More Replies... SmooshyFries 2 years ago
I had two girls 3 yrs apart and loved every minute of it. All stages of their lives were just that, stages. I'm not bragging that it was easy but I didn't experience too much of what is said in the post. I was sometimes a SAHM and other times worked and they were in daycare. My ex and I were sometimes balanced 50/50, sometimes 80/20 depending on what was going on. I would do it all again if I could
Steve Hall 2 years ago
Everybody needs to mind their own business and let people rear their children the way they see fit.
Multa Nocte 2 years ago
Unless abuse is involved, I am assuming you wanted to add?
Load More Replies... HelluvaHedgehogAlien 2 years ago (edited)
And also, talking about teenagers like they’re some sort of bizarre other species and not as rational, functional human beings. There are so many people casually referring to the entire ‘teenager’ age and trying to explain their behavior as if they’re studying some kind of nocturnal amphibian.
Multa Nocte 2 years ago
Sort of the way some people talk about Millenials and Boomers? 😉
Load More Replies... Emily Ward 2 years ago
All the parents here need to be more supportive to each other and stop trying to shame, judge, or one up each other or fathers. Be a community together instead. Let dads have a little praise too. Let step parents have praise. Noone is better than anyone else. Be nice to one another.
Nerd Groupie 2 years ago
Parenting is hard. Know what makes it harder? The constant judgment. There is no "constructive" criticism if I didn't specifically ask for advice. The worst is people without kids or who haven't raised kids since the dark ages. You don't know me or my kid, or what we're going through. Step back. According to the internet I'm the worst parent ever. Including but not limited to feeding my child "literal poison" (Lucky Charms) I can't stand people that passive aggressively talk to me kid either. "Looks like mommy didn't put socks on you today!" Calm down, Debra. It's 90 degrees and she kicks them off anyway. Or the people that feel the need to comment on a kid throwing a fit in public. Hey, know who is else is probably annoyed? The parents! We would also prefer our child was a perfect angel all the time. But are YOU calm all the time? You never get upset as an adult? Imagine being a tiny person trying to figure out emotions and situations. And don't tell me my kid is good birth control.
Nerd Groupie 2 years ago
Man I have so much more I didn't realize there was a limit to how much we could enter. Can we please just support one another?
Load More Replies... SmooshyFries 2 years ago
I had two girls 3 yrs apart and loved every minute of it. All stages of their lives were just that, stages. I'm not bragging that it was easy but I didn't experience too much of what is said in the post. I was sometimes a SAHM and other times worked and they were in daycare. My ex and I were sometimes balanced 50/50, sometimes 80/20 depending on what was going on. I would do it all again if I could
Steve Hall 2 years ago
Everybody needs to mind their own business and let people rear their children the way they see fit.
Multa Nocte 2 years ago
Unless abuse is involved, I am assuming you wanted to add?
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