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Most people hate awkward situations and try to avoid them as much as they can. A 2022 survey revealed the situations people in the U.S. find the most awkward. Sending a gossipy text to the subject of the gossip was rated as the top awkward scenario there could be. Watching an intimate scene in a movie with parents and clogging a toilet followed in second and third places respectively.
But what about situations where you're caught in some sort of a compromising situation, but it's truly accidental? One netizen was curious to hear such stories from other Internet users. So they asked: "What is your 'It's not what it looks like' story?" People came through with all kinds of ridiculous stories, some of them so absurd they seemed like they were taken from a Hollywood comedy.
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#1
I've posted this before on my old account but it's funny so I'll share again.
My family and I went to this really weird little festival that happens every spring to celebrate a frozen dead guy. I wanted to do the polar plunge with my dad so I used spray hair dye to make myself look a bit grey and I put on a fake beard so I could look like his mini me. It was so windy that year that they couldn't keep the warming tents up, so our alternative option was to pack in the back of a 1970s ambulance and try and un dress then re dress in warm clothes with 15 other random naked strangers.
My dad didn't want to do that so he decided he would Walk up the main street and change in the cafe bathroom. Unfortunately it was so cold and windy that hypothermia was starting to set in. I had to go into this tiny a*s bathroom with my dad to help him get changed. As we were nearly done some old lady came barging in the bathroom cuz we were taking way too long. At that very moment I realized I had f****d up.
My dad was standing up and I was on my knees trying to button up his jeans (Levi 501s have a lot of buttons and they are weird to button on someone else.)
She had a look of horror on her face and the only thing I could blurt out was . "NO it's okay! He's my dad!"
That was absolutely not the right thing to say lol.
Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My! 1 year ago
This story is too crazy not to have happened. The last line! I'm still laughing!
RELATED:
#2
Last night my husband came to visit me at the restaurant I work at. I served him some sushi and it was a fun way to break up my shift. After he left, I was busing his table and I took a sip of the Arnold Palmer he had left behind. Looked up and realized a family a few tables over has just watched me slurp out of a half-empty customer's drink through a used straw.
ConstantlyJon 1 year ago
Love it when I get to wait on my wife. When she actually orders enough food that my manager doesn't just comp everything, she always leaves me little sweet nothings on her receipt. I've got a few of them now taped in my book. She's my favorite guest every time.
Janet Graham 1 year ago
That required a witty comeback, which you likely came up with the next day.
#3
I was a lab tech working at a pharmaceutical research lab, and we ran out of pregnancy tests. I went to Walgreens to buy some home tests, and I needed 5 of them. I was about 8 months pregnant.
Stu𝓹𝓪𝓷𝓭𝓪ous! 1 year ago (edited)
This reminds me of the pregnancy test ads that have a lady looking at her test shocked and overjoyed while she looks like eight months pregnant.
Jack Burton 1 year ago
Pregnancy denial is something so intriguing and an amazing effort from your brain and body to cover up the situation. I have seen some womens 8 months pregnant with absolutely no signs of it and look alike menstruations. As soon as we discovered the pregnancy they start to change and in a matter of days they got the big belly. Really crazy stuff that can happen to anyone (well any woman).
KnightOwl 1 year ago
Sounds like you're talking about cryptic pregnancy. With cryptic pregnancies women show no signs of pregnancy and can continue to have 'periods' (not really periods but other types of bleeding that can easily be mistaken for a period.). It's not that their body is covering up the pregnancy, most of the time the body genuinely shows no outward signs of pregnancy and any symptoms that do occur are mistaken for something else. I know 4 women who had cryptic pregnancies and every one of them were different, 2 didn't have any idea until they literally gave birth, one found out a few hrs before the birth when she went to hospital with stomach pains, that she had put down to an IBS flair up. The 4th was 36 and already had 3 kids, she found out at 34 weeks and was stunned as it was so different to her other pregnancies where she'd found out very early on.
Load More Replies... over it already 1 year ago (edited)
Ha! I got to do the same. I was suuuuper pregnant and went to the dollar store to get a couple of tests. I was a CPS social worker and one mom that I had been helping for a very long time to try and fix her situation so she could get her daughters back had a pregnancy scare. Turns out at that store they had them behind the registers, so I had to ask for them in front of a line of people. I offered no explanation and acted like everything was normal. Edit: *dollar store
Lance LaRocque 1 year ago
That's the time you really need to get 5 different brands of tests. Keep people guessing!
#4
I worked on a low budget movie (that never got finished), for one scene we needed scenes from the crime, gory bloody pictures they would put up on the board in the police office. Dumb**s I worked with dropped them off at Walmart for printing and enlargement (back when that was a thing). He did not warn them.
When we went to pick them up he got pounced on by police and had much explaining to do. Also, same guy.... I had made two corpses from skeletons, using the old tissue paper and latex method, same genius just tosses them into the back of his pick up truck to take them to the set. Got pulled over for speeding. They pretty much were pulling him out of driver side window while was he screaming "they aren't real people!" over and over again. When they finally touched one and realized it plastic they let him go while ticketing him for every thing they could because they were pissed. Personally I was thrilled my work was taken so well.
Isaac Harvey 1 year ago
"... ticketing him for every thing they could because they were pissed." Tell me you live in the States without telling me you live in the States.
Beak Hookage 1 year ago
Sounds like the time police entered a hotel room (or maybe it was an apartment; I forget) that had been sealed up for a long time, only to find the walls covered in blood. Turned out it had been used for a movie and the filmmakers had been planning to re-use it later but never did.
Bob Brooce 1 year ago
The Mohonk Mountain House is a fancy resort that has a lot of theme weekends, including a crime/mystery one. Many years ago they staged and filmed a fake robbery at a local jewelry store, but nobody thought to notify the local cops about it. Naturally, some concerned citizen noticed the fake robbery and called the cops. I forget the exact details, but they definitely showed up, no doubt ready for a gunfight if need be. The actor(s) could easily have become an episode of "1000 Stupid Ways To Die".
#5
Spider in my car got me pulled over for swerving all over the road. We found it and the cop just laughed at me. I’m not scared of spiders, but that big f****r was dangling in my face.
Upstaged75 1 year ago
I got stung by a bee/wasp that flew in my open window and somehow landed underneath my thigh. (I was wearing shorts) I nearly wrecked my car. The cop who pulled me over definitely thought I was drunk, but he believed me after I got out and bent over to show him the back of my stung leg. I can only imagine what it looked like to people passing by. :)
Elio 1 year ago
Something similar happened to one of my cousins, but she ended up totaling her car.
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DC 1 year ago (edited)
I'd consider panic resistance as required to drive. A few years ago, an indident was famous in germany, where a young women and her daughter died, because she panicked at the sight of a car, fast approaching from behind. She threw her car on its top, and ... it was generally assumed to have been his fault. I'd like to differ, and see a shared fault, his part consisting of him being inconsiderate and provoke a panic reaction, and her part being having said panic reaction that, ultimately, killed the two of them (her and her daughter). Of course, this event being a major tragedy was a shared assumption that I share as well. Anyway, back to spiders - in case they dangle in your car, just ... act as if they weren't there. Usually, they'll descend and walk somewhere, if not disturbed, but may act out unpredictably if pushed off or something. Spiders, in general, are pretty calm unless they see some reason not to be calm, and spiders aren't the brightest of creatures, so any unexpected will be considered a threat, and they'll either GTFO, or fight back. The latter, you don't really wanna want while driving.
Catpawsarethebest 1 year ago (edited)
Completely agree! When I got my drivers license I just KNEW (with my luck) someday a spider will show its face when Im drivning. And yes! Exactly when Im on the highway drivning a van (first time drivning a van as we were moving). Fortunately my boyfriend were in the car and could get it. But I've been imagining this scenario for years to NOT panic. And I didnt panic. I was very calm.
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Andy Frobig 1 year ago
A friend of mine in high school totaled his Karmann-Ghia on prom night because of a bee
Danish Susanne 1 year ago
I think you need not suffer from arachnophobia to be startled by something appearing right in front of you face.
#6
Years ago my team did a cabling job to add some registers to the garden center in a Walmart. This kind of work is done overnight because there are much less customers in the store. There were cables in the conduit already but plenty of room for two more, but we were outta of clearglide, wire pulling lubricant, so we grabbed some KY from health and beauty. We would often grab things at night, drinks, hardware, whatever and keep the packages to pay for it before we left in the morning. That morning 4 guys went through the checkout line with 6 empty energy drinks, a couple of snacks, and an empty bottle of KY, which we informed the cashier was empty because we used it in the garden center the previous night!
Daniel Barber 1 year ago
Kinda same scenario, did a small budget film , was extra on set and helped special effects guy rig squibs, small balloons of fake blood for gunshot affect. We ran out of supplies, so I was sent after midnight to local 24 hr store, and grabbed a case of Red Bull, extra mini cassette film , 48 condoms, and looks from cashier after survey of stuff was priceless. Told me to have a good night.
Load More Replies... Nicky Shrimps 1 year ago
My brother does this type of work and I can confirm that checking out with empty packages is a thing. Not sure he's ever used KY before tho...
#7
A long while ago now, I was walking home from a friend's house. We had been smoking and drinking, so I was a little out of it.
It was around 1am and I was almost home, when I saw this little old lady doubled over and struggling to walk. I asked her if she was okay and if she needed help. She said she was fine, but asked if I could help her home as she didn't live too far away. So I gave her my arm for her to support herself and off we went.
Her home wasn't that far, but it was slow going. At this point, I had already decided that I was going to ring an ambulance for her, but thought I'd get her home first.
When we eventually made it to her home, she took her key and opened her door... Only to collapse into her house and pass out... And then the house alarm went off... And then her neighbours appeared. Luckily, the neighbours believed me and the old lady managed to get some medical attention.
thea 1 year ago
the picture had me so confused cause it looked like a big face or something lol
Hiram's Friend 1 year ago
BP pictures frequently have nothing to do with the narration.
Load More Replies... Janet Graham 1 year ago
Good job! I am sure it made your heart pound, but you did the right thing.
#8
When I was 16 I met a girl on Myspace that lived in Canada, which happened to be a short drive from where I lived in the U.S., so we planned a meet-up in Windsor, just across the border from me. I had never crossed the border by myself and was fairly new to driving solo. When I got to the border, I accidentally pulled into one of the express lanes and just drove to the toll booth ahead, thinking I would just explain that I had messed up and chose the wrong lane, whoops no big deal, I'll just pay and be on my way.
Well no, they thought it was suspicious so they asked me to pull into an open hangar nearby and sent some officers to check out my car. When they approached and asked me to pop the trunk, I just did it because I was s******g my pants. My parents did not know where I was and I was so scared of getting in trouble with border patrol.
So right after I pop the trunk they call more officers over. I am asked to step out and put in hand cuffs, and then the questioning starts. Who am I and where am I going? Who is the girl and how do I know her? At this point I'm terrified. They all went from pretty chill to very serious in a matter of minutes. Then one of them reaches into the trunk and pulls out a sword and it HITS me.
A week earlier I had been filming a video for one of my classes with my friends and it was a war scene from a book. We had amassed all of our medieval mall ninja weapons for the video and in the end, the weapons all ended up in my trunk and I COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT THEM. I'm talking swords, axes, flails, bludgeons, bardiches, nunchucks, EVERYTHING. For the next 2-3 hours I was questioned while they picked my car apart.
In the end I think the only reason they let me go is because I also had a giant bag of Magic: the Gathering cards in my backseat and after explaining the game to them they realized I had no life and was probably too nerdy to be any real threat. I also had a single rose for her on the passenger seat (I know, I am so suave) so I think they could see I didn't have bad intentions..
They let me through, I met up with the girl, and we made out on a play structure for like 4 hours. Drove home that night and never told my parents. Ah, to be young again.
Julia Mckinney 1 year ago (edited)
And then you have my 7 yr. old daughter who decided to show that she had her parents sense of humor to a border customs guard in '02. We, Husband, kids and my in-laws, were going to Vancouver BC for the day and my husband, after making sure all of us had our passports and ID, left HIS on the hotel dresser. No issues at the border on our way into Canada but coming back? Guard sees all of our passports but won't accept my husband's military ID. Guard then asks older daughter, pointing to my husband, "who's that?" Her reply "that's Craig!", said in the happiest & bounciest voice. All of us adults said pretty much simultaneously "KIRSTIN!!!" Guard then asks our 4 yr. old "who's that?" She said "oh, that's daddy!" and he let us go. The devilish grin on older daughter's face and the twinkle in her eye, man, we were all laughing AND lecturing her at the same time.
Sophia Athene 1 year ago
I'm so sorry but I don't get it. Because she identified him by name and not by relation? Why would that matter?
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Sharkie 1 year ago
I am not a driver, not I can tell, it's also fun to be a young mother with almost no driving experience with your husband in the hospital after one day of holiday. She drove to visit him with their small kids, it started raining and got really dark really quickly. She got in a minor accident with another cat, they had no lights on, both parties were inexperienced, so they waited for the police. Everything went smoothly until the policeman asked the mom: "it will be ok, don't worry. Just tell me... I presume you weren't drinking before driving?" And a young kid... Well... It was me... Was confused so I loudly exclaimed: "but mommy was drinking before driving..." The silence was never so loud before. "I saw mommy drinking coffee before driving." I did not want to put mom in trouble, I was told you should never lie and nobody explained to me the difference between drinking and DRINKING before...
Elwood Schwartz (it/that) 1 year ago
You had me at "got in a minor accident with another cat."
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BoredPossum 1 year ago
Can someone explain this to me? It's okay to bear arms, like guns, right? But it's not okay to have a sword in your trunk?
Anony Mouse 1 year ago
Crossing an international border with a trunk chock full of weapons is probably going to raise some eyebrows.
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#9
I’ve posted this before but what the hey, I was hanging out with a guy friend (I’m a girl) watching movies.
I fell asleep in the middle of the third one, had a hot dream and woke up to my own orgasm while he sat on the other end of the couch sporting an erection, but with both hands up, and looking equal parts terrified and horny.
I was beyond mortified. He was like “I-I didn’t know what to do-“
I had actually been dreaming about him and didn’t know if I’d said his name or not.
I got the f**k out of there.
I have never been so f*****g mortified in my life. But, after a lot of him pushing and me being embarrassed, we ended up dating. Been together about a year now.
Edited for clarification.
Bob Brooce 1 year ago
The only part I find unbelievable is his inability to conceal an erection, that he'd apparently had for at least a few moments, while sitting on a couch and presumably clothed.
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Dumb teenager 1 year ago
That sounds like it was what it looked like then (still an increadibly awkward situation for both parties, especially OP)
Michael Largey 1 year ago
Usually a climax is something that occurs at the end. Here it was a beginning.
#10
I was staying over at a friend’s cottage in the country with my girlfriend (now wife). A bunch of my friends were there as well, male and female, but we got the spare bedroom because we were a couple.
We all went to bed - after about twenty minutes, the bed we were in collapsed, making a terrible clatter.
Instantly, the whole house erupted in cheers and laughter.
Reality: bed was very rickety, no one had actually slept in it for a long time, and we were just peacefully resting in the bed when it just collapsed. But of course, everyone assumed we were screwing up a storm and literally “broke the bed”.
Bubs (he/they) 1 year ago
could be embarrassing for them. I don't like when friends make sexual jokes about me or directed at me, so I totally get it.
Load More Replies... Ephemera Image 1 year ago
"yeah yeah, we believe you. You weren't doing anything' wink wink...😁
Upstaged75 1 year ago
That happened to a friend and I when we were staying with her aunt and uncle at the beach. (Back when I was happy to share a bed with a friend to save money. I'm too old and grumpy for that now.) Randomly in the middle of the night our bed just collapsed while we were sleeping. Neither of us were even moving around, the bed was just old. But of course after that everyone thought we were "more than friends". ;)
Jessica Isaacson 1 year ago
Bet they were the gold standard story brought up on other vacations their friends took.
Donna Peluda 1 year ago
Long time ago I worked in a small hostel in Spain. circa 1985. We had manly young Dutch, Brits and German guests, manly young adults. I think they broke every bed in the place. Old Spanish beds were no match for the passion and inhibitions of the young Europeans. The place was like Sodoma and Gomorra. Soundtrack. Nightshift, Commodores. https://open.spotify.com/track/23IK8TF2MSiLnuEjaYPfVV?si=ea94b25fa4a14190
Kel_how 1 year ago
I shared a wall with my parents bedroom when I was a pre-teen. They had a metal bed frame that I guess was loose and it used to squeak and squeak if you even looked at it. (Legitimately, it was squeaky just sitting on it.) One night, it was so loud, I banged on the wall and told them to be quieter. Lol, they got a new bed after that.
Janet Graham 1 year ago
Or, in another reality, they loosened it all up so it would fall apart!
Anxious Aardvark 1 year ago
Yep. Just recently in a rented guest house, we tested the bed carefully before the other guests arrived. "Crunch" We'd taken the least desirable room, and as it turned out, the oldest most dilapidated bed.
#11
Back in seventh grade, when I was at peak "awkward teen boy" there came a day in gym where we were set to play volleyball. The only problem was that when we got to the gym the coach realized she'd forgotten the volleyballs, but no problem, because they were just sitting in the storage room...in the girl's locker room, and she decided to send me, a boy, to go get them. She assured me that I would not get in trouble if I was caught but even still I was about as not-at-all thrilled over being given this job as I possibly could be, because I was sure that if any girl saw me in there she would tell the rest of the school that I was a pervert sneaking into the girl's locker room.
Well halfway through the mission my worst nightmare came true and I turned a corner to confront two girls who were heading back into the locker room. They stared at me, I stared at them. I started panicking and in my discombobulation I decided the best possible thing to do at that moment would be to tell these two girls that I'm not a pervert (because obviously that would have cleared everything up) but I was so flustered that what came out instead was "I'm not gay," and then I really smoothed things over by running away.
Surprisingly the fallout for this wasn't too bad. I got made fun of a bit for it but people had pretty much moved on by the next day. Not me though. Twenty-seven years later this still haunts me.
Fellfromthemoon 1 year ago
Any adult would have been experienced enough to stand at the door of the locker room and ask any girl entering/coming out to bring the volleyballs. I wonder why the teacher did not tell this to OP. (I do NOT blame a 13-year-old kid for not realizing the solution.)
Janet Graham 1 year ago
Embarrassing situations always stay in our memories, larger than life. No one else remembers at all!
Major Harris 1 year ago
when i was a junior in highschool, 1984, my school had fencing. open house night, p.e. department was showing what we did. i am a fencer. (as well as foorball) the coach, a woman, had the equipment in the girls locker room. i am a guy. i was asked to get it assuming no one was in there. but, while walking out, the girls swim team had come in from practice. head down, eyes averted, very red face!
#12
My mom once barged on my room without knocking with a shocked face and asking “what are you doing?!” I was laying in bed, laptop on my belly, chocolate on my mouth watching YouTube exercise videos. They kept making noises she assumed was either sex or p**n. To this day we laugh so hard about it 😂.
PFD 1 year ago
Parents, don't do this!! Imagine the mutual trauma if it had been what mum thought it was!
BoredPossum 1 year ago
Yeah, who would want to catch their kids in the act? It'll be awkward, mentally devastating and embarrassing for everyone. You're not gonna make them stop, nor should you try to. Plus, it's none of your business.
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Michael Largey 1 year ago
I'm 73. I now make the same sounds getting out of bed that I used to make getting off in bed.
BoredPossum 1 year ago
Why would anyone downvote you for being 73? Take my upvote.
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Dan 1 year ago
A woman found bdsm magazines under her son's mattress. The father's response upon being told was epic, "well don't spank him!"
Kar Red Roses 1 year ago
Junk food binging while watching people exercise? Oh you naughty thing 😁
Beak Hookage 1 year ago
I was once asked if I was watching p.orn and also why was I laughing?! I was watching Fight Club and laughing at the scene where the narrator is awkwardly trying to go about his day while pretending he can't hear Tyler and Marla going at it next door.
KatSaidWhat 1 year ago
A simple knock would have worked. It's either "come in" of "s**t s**t f**k, WAIT!"
Jeremy James 1 year ago
One of Adam Sandler's early comedy albums had a track called, "Sex or Weight-Lifting?" with a similar premise.
Boris Long-Johnson 1 year ago
I remember the summer after we moved into our new house watching the Handmaids tale with the patio windows open (the tv is on the wall next to them) cause it was boiling hot. Until we noticed the neighbours out in their garden. Oops.
#13
My dog ate some string. I had to pull it out of his butt on a walk. People were like "YIKES" and giving me a wide berth.
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 1 year ago
Was OP doing it with his teeth or something? It's actually a pretty common thing if you have pets.
Vicky Phenny 1 year ago
I have long hair and sometimes my dog poops them out. I've also noticed people staring when I try to remove her dangly poo pinatas, even with a baggy.
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Becky Samuel 1 year ago
You need to be really careful about doing things like this. If there is any resistance at all you must stop. Pulling on a bit of string that is in the guts can cause dangerous internal injuries that may not become apparent until the animal is already septic.
Kat 1 year ago
Came here to say exactly this!! Even long hair can cause damage
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Donna Peluda 1 year ago
My dog eat a plastic shopping bag. big chunks of it came out the other end. I had to pull them out. I could still read the supers logo on the pieces.
Bob Brooce 1 year ago
Among the very many things she shouldn't have eaten, my first dig once ate a condom. It came out easily in one piece, but it didn't come out empty. It looked like she pooped out a sausage.
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geezeronthehill 1 year ago
My wife ran a 4H dog obedience class. One the dogs had eaten a bread bag, so there was nothing for it but put the gloves and haul it out of her butt. I'm told that the dog's eyes crossed.
Sophia Athene 1 year ago
It only took one year with a cat and decorating the Christmas tree with loose silvery tinsel to NEVER decorate with tinsel again!
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#14
My personnel clerk was telling me about a sexual harassment issue in my office, as soon as she repeated what was said, “are you asking me for a bl**job”, the store gossip walked by and sure enough I’m being spoken to by corporate HR within the hour. Thankfully I had proof of what was actually going on.
Michael Largey 1 year ago
Right. But at the beginning of a discussion, you don't always know where it will be going.
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Parmeisan 1 year ago
She wasn't "telling" the story, she was *reporting* it.
Load More Replies... #15
According to my mom she peeked through my open door and saw me in my chair, hands at waist level, shaking a bit as I worked my hands and was breathing heavily.
I was playing Spider-Man 2 fighting Scream.
#16
When I was 5, someone had gotten into my uncle's blue spray paint sitting on his porch and they had sprayed some of it on the porch. He lined up me and my brothers and checked our hands for any blue and saw blue all over *my* hands. I frantically tried to explain as a five year old that it was from coloring markers from earlier at school but he had none of it and marched me to my mother to 'expose me'. My mom took a look at my hands and easily identified the difference between blue markers and spray paint and called my uncle an idiot. It was actually my middle brother but he was wearing gloves so there was no transfer on his hands. I wasn't going to be a snitch to that idiot uncle though.
Hobby Hopper 1 year ago
Oh I'd have snitched in a heartbeat. If you don't want to do the time, don't do the crime.
Jas Warner 1 year ago
You dint have many ppl that likes you huh?. I guess people have gotten to soft for the "snitches get stiches" line.
Load More Replies... #17
I'm surprised no one called the police on me for this...
I do general repairs as a side gig. I offered to help a friend fix his sink one day. So I park my work van on the street outside his house and start organizing tools to bring into the house. Suddenly I look up and I see his 3 year old daughter has somehow wondered out of the house and is walking in the middle of the road. Yikes. So I quick run after her, grab her off the road.
However, I couldn't bring her into the house just yet because my van was still completely open, with tools strewn about. So I had to put her in my van while I finished organizing.
To anyone one else, it probably looked like I kidnapped a girl into my van.
#18
Got charged with a marijuana-related felony charge back in 2004. When you become a felon, you have to register at the Dept. of Corrections. I register, and they give me a small card with my info on it. Fast forward a few months and i walk into a liquor store for cigarettes. No ID. I search through my wallet and find this card and hand it to the guy. "You're a sex offender?" "huh?" "The card says SEX OFFENDER REGISTRATION CARD" "WTF?" they had given me the completely wrong card, and i was walking around as a sex offender.
Michael Largey 1 year ago
Why would they issue someone a sex offender card? Is that person ever going to show it to anyone? Can he use it to get a discount at Pervs R Us?
Joey Jo Jo Shabadoo 1 year ago (edited)
"Excuse me, sir? Can you show me proof you can own this white van?" "Yes, I have this card."
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Bob Brooce 1 year ago
Do you know how much weed you need to smoke to make it felony?
Load More Replies... Elwood Schwartz (it/that) 1 year ago
This. Is. HILARIOUS! The first thing to actually make me laugh today.
Isaac Harvey 1 year ago
My(?) first AAA card was not for me, but for someone named "IAFAC HARVEY." I asked for another one, which they sent me, but I still have no clue how a typo like that came to exist.
Philly Bob Squires 1 year ago
Before the photo ID where you now have to go to the licensing center, PennDOT turned me from an Englishman to a Hispanic then to an animal. My name, Robert Louis Squires became Robor Los Squirinos, sent it back and it came back as Robert Squirrels. I had to actually go to the licensing office in person to get those yum yums to make it right.
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XanthippeⓐWulf🇨🇦️️🇬🇧 1 year ago (edited)
Sue them for what? How was the OP harmed? Or wronged? To start, you're really supposed to be carrying valid ID, so that's on them. . Clearly, the only person that saw it was the clerk since this was in all liklihood the first time the OP ever needed to pull it out of their wallet. Nothing happened except that the clerk asked if they were a sex offender. Probably saved the OP some future massive embarrassment by asking, and helped them out by calling attention to the mistake. No harm, no foul really.🤷♀️
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#19
Owned a horse as a kid, partner went with me couple months back to visit him at the stable he lived at to visit him. Said horse has a habit of nipping (not out of aggression, to show affection/play). Horse was nuzzling his head onto my chest and bit right by my tit. Gently pushed his head away, but that s**t HURT.
Went home with partner and was getting undressed for some quality time. He took a look at me and went, "what's that?" I look down and there was a giant forming bruise/bite from where the horse nipped me. I quickly explained but he found it f*****g hilarious.
Cat Palmer 1 year ago
Reminds me of the time one of a friend's five large dogs dive-bombed me from the stairs because I only have two hands and wasn't petting him with at least one of them, leaving a big, vaguely paw-shaped bruise across my upper arm. The next day I had an appointment with my therapist and apparently it looked enough like a hand-shaped bruise that I had to show photos of the dogs to convince her I wasn't being abused at home. 😬
TomCat 1 year ago (edited)
I had a similar experience. At a doctor's appointment, the nurse asked the standard question, " do you feel safe at home"? I had to quickly explain that the bruises covering.my legs, arms and neck were from my German shepherd puppy. But no, I didn't feel safe at home with the alligator dog. Happy to say tomorrow is her fifth birthday and she turned into an absolute sweetheart who would never think of placing her teeth on my skin. 😁
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Alan Jay Weiner 1 year ago
I study Krav Maga. I don't usually bruise easily, but occasionally my arms are covered with bruises - usually from practicing defenses against weapons. My doctors know I study, so the "are you safe" questions are just perfunctory, but the looks from people in the waiting room can be amusing (although not so much for someone *actually* being abused). The women in our classes often get slipped notes about calling someone if they're not safe. I'm glad of that, although in these cases anyone bothering them would be left in a bloody lump on the ground...
Bec 1 year ago
Our driveway ran through our pasture and we had to walk up the driveway after being dropped off by the bus. Sometimes we had horses or cows in that pasture. We named one of the horses Nipper because he nipped at me out of curiosity as a colt. I did get bit once on the shoulder, it did hurt like a b***h.
KillerKiwi 1 year ago
Why? They just went to her childhood home to visit him so that they could visit him where he lived, to visit him.
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#20
I'm an ER doc and was having dinner with some friends who are also ER docs. We got into it about which sedation medications were the best for pediatrics. My friends were arguing for propofol, but I like a combination of propofol and ketamine. We were arguing for a little bit and I loudly stated "ketamine is my favorite d**g", just as the waiter was walking up. He gave us our waters and then a very strange look. We talked about more mundane topics after that.
Bob Brooce 1 year ago
Friend of a friend story: An old scuba divers' trick to protect a wound on a hand or foot is to put a condom over the hand or foot. This guy was attempting to do that, but it's difficult or impossible to put a condom on one of your hands without assistance. The guy was once telling the story in a restaurant and had a waiter walk up just in time to hear "Hey, dad, can you help me put on my condom?"
Maartje 1 year ago
I recall putting my husband and I putting on pantyhose ( a trick to make it easier to get into your 9 mm wet suit) and someone in the group looked at us and remarked " you don't need to dress up for this party"). Took some explaining. By the way, it really works well.
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alberta mountainmum 1 year ago
When my youngest was 4 or 5 they gave him ketamine (he had his hands in his pants and tripped splitting his chin open 4 stitches) and he looked at the nurse beside him after he came out of it. He said "I had a dream about you" the guy was so sweet! He asked if it was a good dream or a bad one. My kid said it was a good dream because his chin was itchy and the nurse scratched it for him 🤣
Sven Grammersdorf 1 year ago
Ketamine is very safe. It doesn't cause respiratory depression like other anesthetics. Also, it's super fun.
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#21
More like "it's not what it sounds like." My daughter, who was a toddler at the time, told my wife that, "In the middle of the night, Daddy comes into my room naked to play." It took me a second to figure out what she was talking about and a lot of praying that I sounded believable. My daughter was having a night terror 2 weeks earlier. I got out of bed in the middle of the night wearing only boxer briefs to see what the problem was. I ended up acting silly with her and joking around to try to ease her mood and get her ready to go back to sleep.
BoredPossum 1 year ago
Perfectly reasonable. As a parent, you share the house and you will be half naked from time to time. That someone will have to solve a crisis without getting dressed is a sign that they care, not that they are perverts. All those hangups around nakedness and sexualizing everything is so annoying.
Susie Elle 1 year ago (edited)
I don't think that's what OP meant with 'it's not what it sounds like'. The comment from the toddler made it sound like OP was assaulting the kid during the night.
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Eunice Robertson 1 year ago
I always taught my kids never to be ashamed of their bodies. All bodies are beautiful. My husband use to walk around the house just in his briefs, our kids up to the age of 6 or so, used to bath with us. It was only as my girls became preteens that we started to cover up more. Being a prude, and thinking that our bodies are disgusting is not a healthy attitude.
Illustrious G 1 year ago
Apparently, when I was a toddler I hated naps. One day, to get out of taking one, I told my mom, “I don’t want to go to my room, there’s a man in there.” She freaked out, immediately spring into action. She secured me in her room, and slowly approached my room to see who or what was there. There was nothing. Just my over-active imagination and apparently learning to lie at a young age!
#22
A was a student athlete in HS and our athletic trainer was an attractive 24 year old girl. I had a hip injury that required an ace wrap around my hip joint.
One day, she was wrapping my hip before practice in a side-office of a bigger training room and two other athletes opened the door that we forgot to lock. What they saw was the back of me, with my pants down, and the trainer in front of me, on her knees, with her head in my crotch area, and her hand reaching back grabbing my butt. Her hand was only there for a brief sec while she supported herself. But teenage boys only need to see that image for a fraction of a second for them to imagine something else.
In case you’re wondering, this side-office was always used for more personal treatment like my hip injury. Girls would be taken in there if they had to remove clothing for example. The bigger training room was always busy and it had a doorway that was always open so we didn’t want passing teachers/other students/parents/visitors getting a sneaky look at teens in their underwear getting injury treatment.
Bob Brooce 1 year ago
Of course it did. A mostly naked student was definitely alone in a room with an attractive 24 year old girl employeewho grabbed his butt to balance herself, and two other students opened the closed door at exactly that moment. What part of that isn't totally realistic?
Load More Replies... Nicky Shrimps 1 year ago
I agree. A female HS student would never be allowed alone in a room with a 24 year old ADULT male trainer (24 year old girl? - WTF?) and a door that locks (even if it was forgotten to be locked).
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PandaGoPanda 1 year ago
I was horrified until my brain kicked in that this was American English!
Elwood Schwartz (it/that) 1 year ago
Which part horrified you, specifically? I don't see anything weird other than trainer = someone who trains/trainer = footwear.
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#23
I shared a two bedroom apartment with a friend of mine. We worked opposite schedules so I was home when he was at work. He had moved his new girlfriend in with us and we got along great. It was almost as if I had two best friends. One morning she woke me up asking if I wanted to eat ice cream and watch some horror movies. We were sitting in my bed watching one of the Nightmare on Elm Street movies and I nod off for just a second before snapping awake. When I did that I knocked over a bowl of ice cream. Instantly as most people would I started making all sorts of noise due to the freezing sensation I had on my crotch. I was grabbing napkins and trying to clean myself up and she already had some paper towels scrubbing the mattress. At this exact time a friend of ours had stopped by thinking we were asleep so he was in our living room. He heard the commotion and walked into my room to see me spread eagle moving my hand at a rapid pace and her just below me. He screamed that he saw nothing and didn't want to be the one to tell our friend that something was going on. We have never let him live it down.
#24
There’s a brand called “lonely ghost” and it has attire that often say “call me if you’re lonely” or “text me” and it has an actual number
My friend had the hoodie with the phone number on it and we were bored and wanted to see what actually happened. I texted the number “I’m lonely” it gave a cute little auto reassurance response and a gif or something.
Anyways, boyfriend at the time saw the text to an unsaved random number saying “I’m lonely” 😂
Had to pull up the hoodie with the number haha.
Firstname Lastname 1 year ago (edited)
According to a hoodie on the website 801-462-8878
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SparkDragon 1 year ago
Am I the only one seeing some potential red flags here? Maybe I'm reading way too much into this, but him looking through her texts and freaking out about "I'm lonely", seems a little off to me.
#25
Assisted teacher in getting books. She fell off the stool and I dropped the books to use myself as a cushion. She wasn't on top on top but it looked strange from an angle. Another teacher was laughing and watching. I was red.
Pond Lady 1 year ago
Are 3 syllable words difficult for you? Would it have been better if the poster had said he helped a teacher rather than assisted?
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lex (they/them) 1 year ago
"Assisted teacher", as in they (OP) assisted the teacher in getting the books. It was worded weirdly.
Load More Replies... #26
Our family was at a realtor's open house, viewing an ocean side house that had ALL the windows and sliding glass doors open to improve the views. A big gust of air came through, blowing a very fancy looking vase off the entry way table. My teenage daughter just happened to by next to it, and caught the vase just before it smashed to the floor. As my daughter was placing it back onto the table, the real estate agent started yelling at her, telling her not to touch anything.
Charity Angel 1 year ago
Rather like the time I caught a horse that had spooked and broken the lead rope she had been tethered with. Since I didn't have a spare on me, I just held her head collar as I calmed her down and walked her back to the stables. Got a lecture from the owner, but she did hunt me down an hour or so later and apologised - she had heard from someone else about the idiot Karen who had shouted across a stableyard, caused the horse to spook, and I'd been in the right place at the right time. I did always make sure I had a spare lead rope on me after that, though, because she made a good point about what might have happened if the horse had spooked again, or just reared up for the giggles.
#27
For me it was a "not what it sounds like" story. I was in 8th grade and in computer class working on a BASIC program or something. I remember I was wearing my Vans DNA. I was shuffling my feet and the sound of my shoes rubbing together made the perfect, ripping fart sound. The people in my row stopped and looked up at me. I told everyone, "No guys. It was my shoes. Watch." I proceed to rub my feet together and try to recreate the sound but of course it doesn't happen. Everyone just stares and slowly turn their heads back to work.
Gracie Mae 1 year ago
I have the sense of humor of a 12 yr old boy...I will do that on purpose. walk around with a container of GAK in my pocket, stop & talk to someone while pushing my finger into the container & make fart noises. some of the reactions almost cause me to pee my pants!
#28
When I was a teen I went on a road trip about 6 hours away to meet some friends. I brought a female friend with me cause it sounded fun. We arrive to the mutual friends house and they show us our room with a single bed. I was mortified and as soon as they left us alone I told the girl that this wasnt "my plan" and I'll see if I can find a couch or something. Thankfully she was cool with non-sexually sharing a bed. I awake in the middle of the night with a pretty severe asthma attack. My inhaler is on the nightstand on the other side of her. The rest of the room is covered in various boxes making a walk around the bed time consuming and dangerous, so I get a bit closer and reach over her, *carefully*, to grab the inhaler. My hands are shaky and I knock it to the floor. I realize I have to climb over her to grab it. I sit up, throw one leg over and reach down, grabbing my inhaler and taking it. I smile in relief, look down, and I've woken her up. In the middle of the night by straddling her. She just closed her eyes and went back to sleep.
Lil Miss Hobbit 1 year ago
Lol the friend's reaction is so funny and nonchalant. She wasn't even worried.
Me Oh My (He/They) 1 year ago
She probably saw the inhaler and realized what was happening.
Load More Replies... Bob Brooce 1 year ago
Was it a room with one bed or a room with a single size bed? I've shared beds with perhaps a dozen or so female friends I wasn't having sex with. What I've never done is shared a single bed with somebody I wasn't sleeping with. In fact, I haven't even shared a singled bed since I lived in a college dorm and that was the only bed choice I had.
#29
I talk to myself all the time, like, ALL THE TIME. Helps me process my thoughts (or keep myself company). Most of the time I don’t even realize I’m doing it until I’m in the grocery aisle and some poor old women wants her beans and here’s me, full blown self conversation mode, probably scaring the s**t out of her lol. I’ve accepted that I will forever receive weird looks in public, and I have A LOT of “I swear I’m not crazy” stories.
linda harbin 1 year ago
I talk to myself all the time too. I just tell people “One has to have an intelligent conversation with someone at some point “.
Lorraine R 1 year ago
Gandalf: "A habit of the old -- they choose the wisest person present to speak to."
Load More Replies... Not-a-Clue (she/her) 1 year ago
I've just recently been told (by the man I've been living with for over 20 years) that the running commentary in my head while I'm knitting is actually out loud. I had no idea! Apparently he's just learned to ignore it (which does account for why he often doesn't respond when I'm actually talking to him, or at least that's his excuse.)
Bubba Jones 1 year ago
I talk oit loud to myself as I walk my dog at 4:30am by flashlight. I never knew so many people sit outside drinking coffee that early. They think I'm nuts but I'm keeping myself awake!
Gracie Mae 1 year ago
my thought process is that sometimes I need an expert opinion on stuff, so naturally I'm going to talk to myself!
Kurt Schilling 1 year ago
"They" say it's OK to talk to your self and answer. But if you talk to yourself and say "Whot?" or "huh?", then worry.
KatSaidWhat 1 year ago
I have an "I'm not f****d but" story from a very chill nightclub involving a flashing light in a toilet bin. Turns out, I was in fact sober and there was a new sanitary toilet bin with flashy light. Bouncers laughed. That club was legendary. 414, London
_-DungeonKeeper-_ 1 year ago
Sometimes Im casually walking and end up making up an absolutely fire song but I can't write it down so I wanna look for someone who's going where I'm going and tell them to remember lyrics for me but then I realized that would be wierd
XanthippeⓐWulf🇨🇦️️🇬🇧 1 year ago
Are we blocking this old lady from getting her beans? Yes, we are other Barry. Yes, we are.
#30
Mines a "Not what it sounds like" story. I (m) worked in heavy industry and was taking college classes at night with a (m) supervisor from another competitor company. We teamed up as lab partners. Just to put the context of this story in place, consider the time period was the late 90's Had a salesman come in and while talking he mentioned the other company and I asked him if he knew my lab partner by his name. When he said yes I said "He's my lab partner!" He gave me a weird look and wandered off and talked to a couple of other staff members before leaving. After leaving the other workers were laughing as the salesman told them he didn't know I was gay. Evidently he heard lab, as life. Always wonder if he thought that about my lab partner when he went to the other company.
Beak Hookage 1 year ago
I once referred to another woman as "my partner" while working on a project and the person I was talking to assumed I meant romantic partner. I was like what? no, she's the person I got assigned to work with.
#31
I worked in a supermarket when I was younger and my boss found me one day lying on my stomach in the aisle with my arm fully outstretched holding a large jar of pickles.
This was long before planking but he still thought was something being done “for the lolz” and started chewing me out before a customer intervened and explained the situation. The fact of the matter was I was walking down the aisle when out of nowhere the jar just slipped off the shelf and I dove and caught it.
That lady saved my a*s that day and the clerk who was ringing her up got our secret signal which meant many items were “accidentally” not scanned.
Ace 1 year ago
Yeah, especially the "secret signal" bit, added to make the story sound more interesting, actually makes it sound even more fake.
Load More Replies... Saphyre Fyre 1 year ago
So who paid for those unscanned items?? Because otherwise that is theft.
Bob Brooce 1 year ago
Sounds like he was almost in a serious pickle. (Thanks, I'll be here all week.)
Nicky Shrimps 1 year ago
Ooof. A lot of Pro-Supermarket dummies here. Defending the same Supermarkets that use "best buy" dates to throw away food that is not expired and just refusing to donate fresh, edible food.
somnomania (she/her, queer) 1 year ago
so, every grocery store in the united states? we all know expiration dates are garbage, you don't need to make it a personal attack on people who.... buy their own food? i'm not even sure who you're targeting, honestly. probably people like me who are poor and have to shop at walmart because of poverty and/or lack of other local options.
Load More Replies... #32
Was ordering my Mom’s birthday gift online one time. She walked into the room unexpectedly and I reflexively slammed my laptop closed. There’s nothing I could’ve said that would’ve convinced her I wasn’t watching p**n. .
Michael Largey 1 year ago
Whether you shopping for her gift or watching porn, the key is to act nonchalant when she comes into the room.
Gracie Mae 1 year ago
yeah there was..."I'm ordering your birthday present!" (ok, it might not have worked, but it MIGHT)
#33
In the 80’s When I was a teen I was partying with neighbor friends in their back yard and forgot my bong their backyard. In order to retrieve it I needed to run a covert operation like navy seal team six later that night. The big sister saw me slinking around under the cover of night and accused me of being a peeping Tom. Good luck trying to explain that one. But I did successfully retrieve the bong which kept my friend from getting busted so at least there was that.
#34
Sister went to the bathroom and I hid under her bed to scare her when she came back in. She came back in only wearing a towel. Turns out she was trying on clothes or something. I yelled loudly "hey! I'm hiding under your bed and I'm coming out with my eyes closed!" At first I thought to stay put and sneak out later, but figured that would seem way worse when she sees me come out of her room and is like wtf?
Tldr: innocent scare prank turned into creepy peeping Tom situation.
BoredPossum 1 year ago
Perfectly innocent. Playing around to scare your sister should be every kids duty, being a pervert perving on your sis shouldn't be the first thing people assume.
Lil Miss Hobbit 1 year ago
I don't think anyone would have assumed, but the sister would still have been mortified.
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#35
Moving house and my father-in-law was helping on moving day. My wife and I were well-prepared, with only our bed remaining assembled and everything else packed and ready to go. I lifted the mattress and had to clumsily explain to my wife’s dad that all of the straps on the bed frame were just to hold the fitted sheet in place.
T'Mar of Vulcan 1 year ago
LOL. I pin my sheets, duvet, blankets, etc to my bed. Otherwise they come loose and end up bunched around my neck. I must spin like a top when sleeping.
#36
Ex GF started having a seizure on the side of the road. Called 911 to get an ambulance, cops show up first and draw guns on me because it looked like I had beat her up lol. Glad she was okay and glad I didn't get shot!
Kalikima 1 year ago
I dated a guy in high school who had epilepsy, and one time he had a seizure while we were waiting to have dinner at a fancy restaurant one night. I tried to catch him from falling to the floor, and he lands face first into my cleavage, just as this old woman walks by. She just started yelling at us that we were being inappropriate, and stalked off.
KnightOwl 1 year ago
Why would the cops be called out for someone having a seizure? That's so strange and completely unnecessary. The fact that they then pulled their weapons on an innocent person who's just trying to help their partner is insane. So glad I don't live in the US so I don't have to deal with this c**p.
Debbie 1 year ago
Here in the Netherlands I think that if you are on the side of the road on a majoy/busy road, police will stop to investigate. Also when there is a medical issue, still all services are notified to see who is closest to be able to assist.
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#37
In college, I used to work overnights at a gas station. I would regularly bring in cash from home and exchange for larger or smaller bills from the register as necessary. One night, a co-worker decided to steal some cash from the register and there I was, on camera, clearly doing the same and, less clearly, exchanging the bills. When the manager brought me in the next day and showed me the footage I couldn’t even say anything. I was just glad the guilty party got fired and it wasn’t just me.
arthbach 1 year ago
Let your boss know what you are planning on doing. If you have a stack of coins at home, say to your boss, "Would you like some change? I've got X and Y coins at home." Then it all looks perfectly innocent.
Maartje 1 year ago
THIS. Never, ever do this without notifying management. I had plenty of wait staff that wanted to change their tips to bigger bills. They always told me, if only to avoid mistakes.
Load More Replies... Isaac Harvey 1 year ago
Modern American capitalism: where billion-dollar companies will care more about sub-dollar discrepancies than their employees' well-being.
Bob Brooce 1 year ago
Anyone who deserves to be in college should be able to figure out that you don't take cash out of a register and put it into your pocket. As near as I remember most jobs I had the training specifically included a requirement to have another coworker ring up your purchases or make change if you needed it. At one job the males wore uniforms that we put on before starting a shift, and the rule was that any cash in your pockets would get you fired on the spot.
ConstantlyJon 1 year ago
Mmmmmm I called BS on them both getting fired. The manager would have been able to tell very easily which drawer was short. If all you were doing was exchanging like bills, they would have known that your drawer was even and that you weren't, in fact, stealing anything.
#38
In Mexico City on a high school trip I went to sleep alone and woke up with one of the girls from the trip. She looked confused. I looked confused. We both clarified that we did not, in fact, do it (this was me confirming for her). What we decided was that she got super drunk the night before, came into our room instead of hers, and got in bed with me thinking I was her sister.
Bob Brooce 1 year ago
I've been told by a couple of women that even if they were really drunk they can tell the next day if they had intercourse. As a student on a "high school trip" the storyteller likely wouldn't have been drunk, and would know unless they were very sound (and cooperative) sleeper. Of course the unlocked door and severely drunken female that had to figure out she was drunk with the guy's help are extremely plausible details.
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#39
High school in the bathroom, I'm at the urinal and I need to spit. I'm not a spitter, so it must have been like a cold or bad allergies or something. I lean a little closer in and spit and it catches a little, just hangs out for a second before it drops in the urinal. So while I'm leaned in this random dude walks in and immediately declares 'He's staring at his d**k!'. Being super awkward in high school, I just bugged out immediately and have thought about it constantly to this day. Thanks, random dude.
Jessica Isaacson 1 year ago
There would be a divine action that allows our brains to erase all mortifying HS moments forever.
#40
A guy sitting in front of me had a bug crawling out of his shirt and I watched it crawling into his hair. The dude asked me why I was touching him. Dude! I wasn’t.
#41
Found my then girlfriend’s panties in the laundry at my house and packed em in my book bag to give back to her. Brought them with me next time I visited and of course they weren’t hers. Thing is I didn’t cheat and they definitely didn’t fit anyone else I would’ve “known” in recent memory (we weren’t exclusive more than a couple weeks at that point). She kinda just hit me with a palm face and an eye roll and we never talked about it again /laughed it off in the moment. I still don’t know where those damn underwear came from or if they were planted or what.
#42
I was caught sneaking out of my best friend's boyfriend's house, it wasn't what it looked like, I was planning her surprise birthday party!
#43
My brother was on he's knees looking for somethingin our room (cannot remeber what this was almost 20 years ago )and i walked past him as i did my joggin bottoms fell to my ankles (i had no boxers on ) then my mum walked in the room to her my brother is on he's knees and my pants are round my ankles ........................
Kitty 🥀 1 year ago
This sounds fake. His pants just happened to fall down and he wasn’t wearing underwear?
Bethany J 1 year ago
They were jogging bottoms, famously a clothing item that doesn't use a belt. I know I definitely have a pair or two loose enough to fall off if I'm not careful
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Angelshark 1 year ago
Do the parents of siblings automatically default to "my kids must be f*****g?"
#44
Was in the bathroom naked waiting for the shower water to heat up. The boys started to itch so I gave them a scratch. Then I heard the door open behind me and quickly close. I bet it looked pretty incriminating. I didn't see who it was but I know exactly which family member of mine would be clueless enough to see a closed bathroom door with the shower running and think "oh it must be empty". I didn't bother trying to explain what they saw as I knew they'd never believe me.
Cat Palmer 1 year ago
If you're rude enough to open a closed bathroom door while someone's in there you deserve to see far worse than someone scratching.
#45
I had a leaking case of soda at work. My boss came by a minute later to see me standing over a puddle and assumed I'd wet myself.
#46
My sister’s watch was broken. I have this weird habit of laughing when I hide something minor. My older brother broke it and was tickling me. So when she came and asked. I was laughing hard and she assumed I broke it. I got scolded so much for it and my brother was having his best time in background.
#47
I had just got back to my college dorm from work where I had spilled quite a bit of lemonade on myself, and I checked in my gf when I got back. When we got in my room, she dropped something (I think maybe her chapstick, but can’t remember) behind my mini fridge and was bent over to try and find it. I was taking my lemonade soaked pants off and was planning to change into something clean when my brother (who was my roommate at the time) walked in. He still makes jokes about that from time to time.
Upstaged75 1 year ago
My whole family was once staying in a hotel together, but as we were coming from different places we checked in at different times. After they gave me my key I went to the room and opened the door. Only to find my brother and his girlfriend in a state of undress. They were actually just changing after coming back from the swimming pool. but I didn't stick around long enough to discuss that at the moment. Apparently the front desk mixed up the keys and gave me the wrong one. At least I didn't walk in on a stranger! Although I'm not sure which one is more awkward. :)
#48
At friends party. Friends brother is hooking up with gfs friend. Later see friend's brother and ask where gf's friend is, he says downstairs and that she needed help from gf. No idea where gf is. I go down. She's noticeably very drunk. The "help" she needed was to find her bra. She's completely topless. Girlfriend walks in. "I'm just helping her find her bra".
#49
Used to have a bait tiktok account I used to troll my local football team. Got bored and deleted tiktok from my phone. Fast forward and my gf records a video of me on her tiktok that went semi viral. Reinstall tiktok to have a look at the comments. Later that day she links me to a video which I open. It’s a private video she only sent to me. Watch it and realise I’m still signed in as my fake bait account. Delete the bait account and think nothing of it. GF sees that the only person who has seen the video she sent is some random a*s account on tiktok (my trolling alt) and accuses me of having an alt account to talk to girls on tiktok. Can’t prove it was all trolling because I deleted it.
ConstantlyJon 1 year ago
this sounds like a really poorly made up excuse for someone who actually did have an alt account to talk to girls.
#50
Was taking a shower, and suddenly the shower tap got loosened, so I asked my mother to pass on a long phillips-head. My mother confirmed it thrice if what I wanted was really that! It struck me after 3-4 days what she meant.
weatherwitch 1 year ago
You asked for a screwdriver whilst in the shower? What did She think you meant? 🤷🏻♀️
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T'Mar of Vulcan 1 year ago
When I was about 12 I mentioned to my cousin that I remembered her parents getting married after their divorce. (They were only divorced for a year before getting back together.) She was shocked as they'd never told her. I said, "Well, ask them!" Her mother was FURIOUS! "How dare you tell my child my business!" (The child was at their second wedding; I stupidly assumed she could remember it even though she was only about 3.) So about 15 years later I'm sitting with my male cousin (her younger brother, born after the remarriage) and we're talking about stupid things we did. I go, "Like that time I told your sister about your parents getting divorced and remarried." "WHAT?!!" THEY HADN'T TOLD HIM EITHER! I begged him not to tell my aunt because she'd kill me. So we said we'd been looking at photo albums and there were pics of his parents' second wedding. This is why people say not to keep that kind of secret from your children: some relative will tell them about it. Sorry, you guys.
Dan Flo 1 year ago
Me and some friend visited a car exhibition, and we saw this very fancy looking Benz. My friend shouted loudly "damn that's fat!", (in Sweden we say "fat" like in "rad") - just as a very large man walked past, looking at my friend while my friend looked back at him, face turning all red.
BrunoVI 1 year ago (edited)
Female, platonic friend used to jokingly act a little crazy over chocolate. One day, she saw something in my pocket. It was a six-inch screw (technically, a bolt). Her: "You have chawklit!" Me: "No, I don't." Her: "In your pocket!" Me: "That's not chocolate." Her: "I want what's in your pocket NOW!" Me: "You want a screw?" She turned beat red. "Oh my God, that's your ... " Then I turned beat red. "No, no, not 'do you want TO ...' I meant, it's A screw!"
BrunoVI 1 year ago (edited)
So we both got embarrassed and bolted.... (Just punning about that part.)
Load More Replies...
CanadianDimes 1 year ago
Many years ago, I was babysitting a friend’s six month old baby and I took him out to run errands. Earlier that day, I’d had an eye exam and they’d dilated my pupils as part of it, which wasn’t an issue because I was wearing sunglasses to account for that. When shopping, I grabbed a bottle of wine to take to a dinner party. It was only when I went to pay and had to take off my sunglasses to do so that I realized I had hugely dilated pupils, a baby, and a bottle of wine and what that must look like.
BookFanatic 1 year ago
My BF at the time wanted to surprise me with a large, surprisingly realistic stuffed tiger. He lived a couple of hours away, so he plopped the thing in his back seat and positioned it so it had its head out the window "looking" at passersby. Cop pulled him over and approached with--according to BF--his gun drawn. BF is a large dude and looks kinda scary. The cop saw the stuffed tiger and thought it was real. Cop was pissed but couldn't think of anything to ticket for. BF stuffed the tiger into his trunk for the rest of the ride.
Beak Hookage 1 year ago
When I was in highschool, aged about 15 or so, for English class we had to re-enact a scene from the novel we were studying. My group ended up with a scene where some guys are drinking beer and talking. So, when my parents had their evening beer I saved the bottles and brought them in the next day to use as props. First period I had the bottles sitting in front of me on the desk so they wouldn't get broken rattling around in my schoolbag. And then I got the hiccups.
Captive 1 year ago
When I was around 14 my little cousin of 4 and his mom visited us. I wanted to lay down for a while so I go to my room and lay on my bed. The zipper of my jeans didn't work properly and it kept opening up by itself. Cousin comes in my room, jokingly jumps on my bed and makes noise. Aunt comes, gives me a weird look, then noticed my open zipper, grabs her son and runs out
Susie Elle 1 year ago (edited)
When I played in a rugby team, our coach and his girlfriend (who was on my team) were dealing with some rough things in their lives, so the team decided to pitch in and gift them a coupon-thing to a wellness center. I was looking up spas in the area and came across the website of one that had a huge photo of a man holding his groin while wearing steam-soaked white boxers as a background, and there I sat staring at it for a good minute wondering why a spa would choose such an erotic picture as their website background. Turns out it was a certain type of spa. Decided to not book that one ;)
A B 1 year ago
1. My 4 (F) child discovered google voice to text. She was happily looking up toys in search. Looked up at me for a second while my friends were over and asked google to help her find some "adult toys". She asked me what kind of toy I wanted. Obviously not the kind a four year old should be looking at! We all still laugh about that one. 2. When my 14 (F) child wanted a free kitten we asked the lady if she could tell which sex they were. She said she didn't know. She then googled "How to s$x a kitten". She didn't get the search results she wanted lol
T'Mar of Vulcan 1 year ago
When I was about 12 I mentioned to my cousin that I remembered her parents getting married after their divorce. (They were only divorced for a year before getting back together.) She was shocked as they'd never told her. I said, "Well, ask them!" Her mother was FURIOUS! "How dare you tell my child my business!" (The child was at their second wedding; I stupidly assumed she could remember it even though she was only about 3.) So about 15 years later I'm sitting with my male cousin (her younger brother, born after the remarriage) and we're talking about stupid things we did. I go, "Like that time I told your sister about your parents getting divorced and remarried." "WHAT?!!" THEY HADN'T TOLD HIM EITHER! I begged him not to tell my aunt because she'd kill me. So we said we'd been looking at photo albums and there were pics of his parents' second wedding. This is why people say not to keep that kind of secret from your children: some relative will tell them about it. Sorry, you guys.
Dan Flo 1 year ago
Me and some friend visited a car exhibition, and we saw this very fancy looking Benz. My friend shouted loudly "damn that's fat!", (in Sweden we say "fat" like in "rad") - just as a very large man walked past, looking at my friend while my friend looked back at him, face turning all red.
BrunoVI 1 year ago (edited)
Female, platonic friend used to jokingly act a little crazy over chocolate. One day, she saw something in my pocket. It was a six-inch screw (technically, a bolt). Her: "You have chawklit!" Me: "No, I don't." Her: "In your pocket!" Me: "That's not chocolate." Her: "I want what's in your pocket NOW!" Me: "You want a screw?" She turned beat red. "Oh my God, that's your ... " Then I turned beat red. "No, no, not 'do you want TO ...' I meant, it's A screw!"
BrunoVI 1 year ago (edited)
So we both got embarrassed and bolted.... (Just punning about that part.)
Load More Replies... CanadianDimes 1 year ago
Many years ago, I was babysitting a friend’s six month old baby and I took him out to run errands. Earlier that day, I’d had an eye exam and they’d dilated my pupils as part of it, which wasn’t an issue because I was wearing sunglasses to account for that. When shopping, I grabbed a bottle of wine to take to a dinner party. It was only when I went to pay and had to take off my sunglasses to do so that I realized I had hugely dilated pupils, a baby, and a bottle of wine and what that must look like.
BookFanatic 1 year ago
My BF at the time wanted to surprise me with a large, surprisingly realistic stuffed tiger. He lived a couple of hours away, so he plopped the thing in his back seat and positioned it so it had its head out the window "looking" at passersby. Cop pulled him over and approached with--according to BF--his gun drawn. BF is a large dude and looks kinda scary. The cop saw the stuffed tiger and thought it was real. Cop was pissed but couldn't think of anything to ticket for. BF stuffed the tiger into his trunk for the rest of the ride.
Beak Hookage 1 year ago
When I was in highschool, aged about 15 or so, for English class we had to re-enact a scene from the novel we were studying. My group ended up with a scene where some guys are drinking beer and talking. So, when my parents had their evening beer I saved the bottles and brought them in the next day to use as props. First period I had the bottles sitting in front of me on the desk so they wouldn't get broken rattling around in my schoolbag. And then I got the hiccups.
Captive 1 year ago
When I was around 14 my little cousin of 4 and his mom visited us. I wanted to lay down for a while so I go to my room and lay on my bed. The zipper of my jeans didn't work properly and it kept opening up by itself. Cousin comes in my room, jokingly jumps on my bed and makes noise. Aunt comes, gives me a weird look, then noticed my open zipper, grabs her son and runs out
Susie Elle 1 year ago (edited)
When I played in a rugby team, our coach and his girlfriend (who was on my team) were dealing with some rough things in their lives, so the team decided to pitch in and gift them a coupon-thing to a wellness center. I was looking up spas in the area and came across the website of one that had a huge photo of a man holding his groin while wearing steam-soaked white boxers as a background, and there I sat staring at it for a good minute wondering why a spa would choose such an erotic picture as their website background. Turns out it was a certain type of spa. Decided to not book that one ;)
A B 1 year ago
1. My 4 (F) child discovered google voice to text. She was happily looking up toys in search. Looked up at me for a second while my friends were over and asked google to help her find some "adult toys". She asked me what kind of toy I wanted. Obviously not the kind a four year old should be looking at! We all still laugh about that one. 2. When my 14 (F) child wanted a free kitten we asked the lady if she could tell which sex they were. She said she didn't know. She then googled "How to s$x a kitten". She didn't get the search results she wanted lol
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