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2023 is here and staying for at least 300 more days. With this in mind, we have to try and fulfill the New Year’s resolutions we created in the previous year. It’s important to have one, no matter how ridiculous or unrealistic the end result is and it seems like Twitter has a New Year’s resolution of its own — to be funny this year (for the first time ever).
It’s only natural for a company and a person to seek something new every year, but these ambitions have to be based on reality. As 2022 came to an end, people went to Twitter to create and share some of the funniest tweets, preparing for the upcoming year. They marked the end of the year with a laugh and started another one with some ridiculous goals, which they shared through a lot of relatable tweets.
So, if your resolution for this year is to catch up on the trending tweets on Twitter, you are in luck. We have compiled some of the best tweets that make fun of the resolutions we make every year. Found one that seems too close to yours? Upvote it. Also, share your own resolution for 2023 in the comments below.
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#1
WindySwede 2 years ago
Or just a combined pub and gym? Though perhaps after the showers and not during exercise?
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#2
David Green 2 years ago
Oooh, like it. Aim high. First one I should be ok with, but must try harder with the trolleys.
#3
Canadian Murder Ducks 2 years ago
Allow me to swear at Ted Bundy: You fat you m**o!
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#5
Bored&InSchool 2 years ago
As a middle schooler with an eating disorder, I can say that there is definitely a difference. being hungry isn't solved by opening a chromebook to play video games and look at BP and stuff.
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#7
Ivana Bašić 2 years ago
I read it as "eat more cheese every day" and tried to imagine the amount at the end of Dec if you ate a bit more every day than the previous.
Shyla Bouche 2 years ago
I can't get rid of my old socks. Bouche kills my new ones, so I have to wear the old ones.
Andy-Pandy-Panda 2 years ago
Was this one from Alexander Boris de Pfeffel (Boll0%k Head) Johnson?
#9
Xenon 2 years ago
Yeah, kind of sound like rice crispies that grunt when getting up.
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Channon Doughty 2 years ago
I don't think we can do that until we shuffle (creakily) off this mortal coil
#10
#11
Weirdest Bi You’ll Ever Meet 2 years ago
Duolingo, and now Barney? Am I ok?
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#12
JoTheLizardBob 2 years ago
I don’t know if it’s the camera angle but the nose looks so big(nonetheless adorable)
#13
lauralett50 2 years ago
And you don't want to be in my head. You might not make it out. You have been warned.hahshahahahahahaha!
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#14
fair_weather_rose 2 years ago
This seems like a good idea... l think the girl of my dreams (me) would like to take a break from life, get better sleep, and eat doritos in bed while listening to sad music
#15
the shy platypus from nextdoor 2 years ago
You made me count it (what am I doing with my life?) and it actually fits! :P
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bears. beets. battlestar galactica. 2 years ago
that's what i wanted it to be!!!
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#16
Canadian Murder Ducks 2 years ago (edited)
Sad, took me a mere four hours
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#18
#19
Katie the Koala 2 years ago
Yes I feel ya I danced for like 8yrs and I’ve never been able to touch my toes lol :’(
#21
#22
Weirdest Bi You’ll Ever Meet 2 years ago
-wakes up at 10:30- Damn, to early!
Load More Replies... Headless Roach 2 years ago
Wake what? Put down the cräck pipe and step away from the keyboard.
LooseSeal's $10 Banana 2 years ago
New Year's resolutions don't start on New Year's Day. I thought everyone knew that.
WindySwede 2 years ago
At first glance I thought the water bottle was something entirely else... 🙈
#23
LizzieBoredom 2 years ago
Not the ones who eat shark livers while the shark is still using it.
#24
Katie the Koala 2 years ago
YES I’ve always wanted to eat second breakfast and elevensies!! Hobbit at heart here!!
Headless Roach 2 years ago
Oh but it's easy. It only gets difficult when you get to the 11th and 12th
#25
#26
Tavi “Raptor” Parks 2 years ago
I swear to god I wanna smash the microwave with a baseball bat when that happens-
#27
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#29
timothythefrog (he/they) 2 years ago
my little cousin's resolution was to be the same as last year XD
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#32
Fantastic Mr Fox 2 years ago
Man who wants to marry cute nurse must be patient -- Chinese proverb (maybe :)
#34
#35
QuirkyKittyGirl 2 years ago
My iPhone switches my focus to “driving” while I’m grocery shopping.
#37
The other-other David Wong 2 years ago
Mine is not to correct people that misuse less and fewer
#39
Lil Potato 2 years ago
you know when someone huts you with a "K" and you have to stare at it like woah
fair_weather_rose 2 years ago
Honestly same. My friend sent me "lol whatever, its fine" after I asked them what I thought was an important personal question , and I spent the whole day freaking out. (They also didn't answer the question)
timothythefrog (he/they) 2 years ago
i will as well! instead of texting them making sure because im pretty sure thats annyoing haha
fs 2 years ago
Messages with excessive use of "!" always make me feel like the sender is mad for whatever reason.
Fantastic Mr Fox 2 years ago
I was actually blissfully unaware of the possible offensiveness of "ok" until a few years ago. This is a very advanced level. I'm still mostly operating at the 👍 level.
#41
PiscesInTheWild 2 years ago
All I know about him is that he's friends with Kid President. Must be a cool guy 👍
#42
Lil Potato 2 years ago
my last two brain cells fighting against my urge to be alone, and my urge for attention
#43
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#46
LooseSeal's $10 Banana 2 years ago
Damn, 2 months is like 1/6 of the year. That's almost a full 20%
The Other Other White Meat 2 years ago
I live in subzero temps half the time. It's my emotional support pizza.
#47
timothythefrog (he/they) 2 years ago (edited)
impossible >:D edit:: im queer so i was talking about me not her sorry for confusion lol
Katie the Koala 2 years ago
Uhhhh that’s a good idea but I don’t think I can possibly be any gayer than I already am :)))
Ivana Bašić 2 years ago
I went from buzz cut to shaved head. From the reactions of some people, I'd say it's working. :D
#48
#49
Katie the Koala 2 years ago
My iPhone keyboard predicts lol after every sentence I write lol lol lol lol ARGHHH
#50
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#53
NicoleighB 2 years ago
Mine would have to be to stop cancelling plans.... or better yet don't make plans EVER 🙃
#55
Violet Jensen 2 years ago
You literally stole this from cyanide and happiness truly how low can humor get
#56
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#59
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#61
timothythefrog (he/they) 2 years ago
its cut off..?! no punchline for miette?!? oh! oh! jail! jail for one thousand years!
#62
#65
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#72
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#75
Potterhead 0-0 2 years ago
Wait am I stupid or…? Their name sounds like a play on the song anti hero by Taylor swift but the song came out last year and the date under it says 2018?
#79
#81
Headless Roach 2 years ago
The trouble is to find even one freak who likes kissing headless roaches
#85
#94
Julie Bradley 2 years ago
Summer here. Lot's of sprinklers. Wait, that's rain. Rain rain rain.
#100
#101
#102
Lil Potato 2 years ago
Ingredients(for frosted stawrberry flavor): Enriched flour (wheat flour, niacin, reduced iron, vitamin B1 [thiamin mononitrate], vitamin B2 [riboflavin], folic acid), corn syrup, high fructose corn syrup, dextrose, soybean and palm oil (with TBHQ for freshness), sugar, bleached wheat flour. Contains 2% or less of wheat starch, salt, dried strawberries, dried pears, dried apples, leavening (baking soda, sodium acid pyrophosphate, monocalcium phosphate), citric acid, gelatin, modified wheat starch, yellow corn flour, caramel color, xanthan gum, cornstarch, turmeric extract color, soy lecithin, red 40, yellow 6, blue 1, color added.
#106
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What do you think ?
Katie Lutesinger 2 years ago
I tidied up my table covered in craft projects, so I'm done. If anyone wants me I'll be back in bed having another dream about the secret agent with enhanced cyborg limbs and a bad attitude.
theoneandonlynoira 2 years ago
Mine is to save the earth and my few remaining braincells by not writing a resolution
Tinderella 2 years ago
Mine is to get a new pedicure before my old one chips, and to get a new birth control lol. Anything else is too lofty.
(Un)Inspired Aspiring Author 2 years ago
My resolutions: 1. Live 2. Make it to my graduation with As and Bs so I can keep my phone. 3. Check 5 book series off my reading list 4. Sing more 5. Try to drink more water
Katie Lutesinger 2 years ago
I tidied up my table covered in craft projects, so I'm done. If anyone wants me I'll be back in bed having another dream about the secret agent with enhanced cyborg limbs and a bad attitude.
theoneandonlynoira 2 years ago
Mine is to save the earth and my few remaining braincells by not writing a resolution
Tinderella 2 years ago
Mine is to get a new pedicure before my old one chips, and to get a new birth control lol. Anything else is too lofty.
(Un)Inspired Aspiring Author 2 years ago
My resolutions: 1. Live 2. Make it to my graduation with As and Bs so I can keep my phone. 3. Check 5 book series off my reading list 4. Sing more 5. Try to drink more water
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