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Article created by: Ilona Baliūnaitė
“When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” Maya Angelou uttered those words over two decades ago, but they will always ring true. Unfortunately, it’s not always easy to see someone’s true colors, especially if you consider them to be a friend.

Redditors have recently been recalling times when they realized that a “friend” wasn’t actually who they thought they were, so we’ve gathered some of their most heartbreaking tales below. We sincerely hope that you can’t relate to any of these experiences, pandas. But if you can, remember that you deserve to have amazing friendships and that you can always cut out relationships that aren’t serving you. Keep reading to find a conversation with the user who started this thread, and be sure to upvote the stories that resonate with you.

#1

Hand holding a zero sugar Coca-Cola can against a blurred floral background, capturing moments that turn friends to strangers. When he threw a unopened can of coke at a homeless person. Stopped being his friend right then and there and I took the homeless women to get food and gave her money to go get replacement clothes from goodwill. I've never been so ashamed of someone before or after that.

davethapeanut , Olena Bohovyk/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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    #2

    Young man with a septum piercing in black shirt looking down, distressed moment reflecting friends turning to strangers. He explained to me, after the George Floyd protests, that the outcome of the Civil War was wrong, and that Covid was the fault of black people. Never heard any kind of trash like that from him over twenty years. I stood up, told him I would never darken his threshold again and that we were through as friends. I’ve kept my word.

    Pusfilledonut , Mental Health America (MHA)/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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    #3

    Young man wearing glasses and a colorful jacket looks shocked outdoors, capturing moments that turned friends to strangers quickly. I started dating a really nice girl who worked in a jewelry store. After three or four dates, she told me that my roommate and supposed friend had stopped by the store to tell her my dad was an alcoholic. Which was true, but we both thought it was crude and strange that he did that.
    I dumped him and married her. Still married 40 years later.

    p38-lightning , Maksim Goncharenok/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

    #4

    Man sitting on a couch looking ashamed and distressed while holding a pen, reflecting on moments that turn friends to strangers. When my friend came out MAGA.

    copingstoic , Tima Miroshnichenko/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

    Mike Rodrick
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's one of the worst. I'm estranged from my family for this.

    #5

    Ham sandwich with ham, tomato, cucumber, and lettuce on a sesame seed bun, illustrating moments that turn friends to strangers. I'd always bought my best friend lunch in high school, Like everyday. Every when he had detention, I'd come by and drop him off food. This one week, I lost my wallet, so no money. Surprisingly he he had money that week I didn't have money. I asked him if he could get me lunch and straight up said no. I thought he was joking and then he just bought food and ate by himself. Made me really think people can be so greedy to their best friend. I stopped hanging out with him after that, and I didn't buy him food anymore.

    (He didn't steal my wallet it was at my grandma's house.).

    DivineArcade1 , Pixabay/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

    Mike Rodrick
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well done. We teach people how to treat us.

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    #6

    Man at food truck receiving order, capturing a moment of strangers interacting in public settings. My friend owns a very popular food truck in the south. She’s netting a half a million a year in revenue. She needed help for a big event, so I went down and worked for her this past July. I worked with one of her regular employees and I asked how the tips were usually split up. The girl told me that my friend keeps every single tip, and that she’s never seen one. This girl is 20 years old and in college and my friend is still taking the few hundred bucks from her. That money is a drop in the bucket for my friend, but life changing for that girl. At that point I realized true greed. Haven’t talked to her since.

    missmorganadams , RDNE Stock project/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

    #7

    Man in a gray shirt showing shame and regret, illustrating moments that turned friends to strangers quickly Left his wife and kids because he was in love with my wife, who wasn't interested in him at all. Then literally never saw his kids again and gave up all parental rights. Her next husband, also a friend of mine, adopted them and has been a great dad.

    Pure_Mammoth_1233 , Mikhail Nilov/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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    #8

    Close-up of a man with a serious expression reflecting feelings of shame in moments that turn friends to strangers. That time he told me my trans cousin should be shot and it didn’t even occur to him that that’s my cousin. He said it like I was just meant to agree with him like “oh hey, this is what us regular people think when there’s no weirdos around, right?”

    Haven’t spoken to him since.

    Edit: the icing on the cake is how he just moved on to a different topic as though he didn’t just tell me he thought a member of my family should be executed cuz pronouns or something.

    TheOtherJohnson , Anna Tarazevich/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

    #9

    Woman with red hair covering her face, expressing shame and heartbreak in a moment that turned friends to strangers. I had a miscarriage, and in response to that news my best friend attached pictures of her own three-month-old baby, ostensibly to cheer me up, at the end of her condolence email (we had grown up together but settled in different cities). I was so stunned by this that I wasn't sure how to address it; I thought she had perhaps attached the pictures by mistake? She was after all my best friend of many years, so surely she wouldn't have been so insensitive-- so I didn't reply. For the sake of loving her, and I wanted to continue to love her, I decided it wasn't deliberate, but it was quite hurtful and it stayed on my mind.

    At our next in-person visit, a few months later, she brought up that she had had the idea to send me the baby pictures but thought it "might hurt my feelings," but also that her baby "was just so cute!" so she asked her husband, a psychologist, if it would be cruel. He reassured her it would be fine, so she attached them. I was even more shocked by this revelation-- I could forgive thoughtlessness, but to have her say to my face that she'd thought it could hurt me, but went looking for permission to do it anyway because her baby was cute? Nah. It ended our friendship.

    Osfees , Thirdman/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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    #10

    Young woman covering her face with hands, expressing shame and regret in a moment that turned friends to strangers. When he straight lifted up his girlfriends shirt and bra while we were all chilling at another friend's house exposing her to all like 5 of us hanging out.

    MountainDrew757 , cottonbro studio/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

    #11

    Two friends in a car at sunset, capturing a moment that turned friends to strangers in seconds. We lived in the same dorm and worked at the same place. I gave him a ride to work daily because he didn't have a car for a few months. The thought never occurred to me to ask for money because it I was going there anyway...why would I? He got a car and my car broke down. I asked for a ride. He asks me for gas money.

    twelveparsnips , Tobi/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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    #12

    Two people having a serious conversation outdoors, illustrating moments that turned friends to strangers in seconds. When I got a big promotion at work and she said “what, did no one else want it or something?” Knew right then she didn’t think I was deserving or qualified. Really took the wind out of my sails. She was one of the first people I told because I was excited about it.

    BRCRN , John Diez/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

    #13

    Young woman laughing outdoors, capturing candid moments that turned friends to strangers in seconds. We went out clubbing and I happened to come across and old friend. She later was making jokes about him being “ugly” and “looking like an alien.” He was a burn victim and she knew that. She would also park in the handicapped spots when she had no disabilities. She then leaked my phone number online having people harass me and thought she was doing something by dating my abusive ex bf. They lasted two weeks.

    angel_bunny444 , Monstera Production/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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    #14

    Man looking upwards with a somber expression, reflecting on moments that turned friends to strangers fast. My best friend since 4th grade. We were inseparable, even when we grew up and had families of our own.
    Then, one day, his wife told me a story about his time in art school.
    He didn't go to art school. I did. It was my story.
    He co-opted my life to his wife.
    And while it was insignificant as an overall lie, it was still a lie that he never corrected or confessed to her.
    I never looked at him the same. It changed who he was to me forever.

    Darkm0or , RDNE Stock project/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

    #15

    Young woman in denim jacket looking out window, reflecting on moments that turned friends to strangers. They constantly downplay whatever it is you're sharing - life problems, emotions, general concerns etc. It was a sad realization.

    Helpfoolness , Juan Pablo Serrano/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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    #16

    Person with brown hair in a striped shirt standing indoors, illustrating moments that turn friends to strangers in seconds. Not really a friend. Rather his mother.

    When I was kid I used to hang out all the time with another kid whose mother was sort of the stereotypical Italian mother. Way too involved, a bit of a smotherer. But she seemed nice.

    Once I stopped around his house (this was the 80s, so no cell phones) and he & his family wasn't home, but some other kids across the street called me over & I started hanging out with them. Fast forward an hour or so and the friend who wasn't home comes home with his parents. The mom comes over and invites me in their house to play Atari or something like that.

    The other kids weren't invited, and it seemed rude to ditch the other kids, so guilt kicked in and I declined. Just seemed like the right thing to do, but friend's mom apparently took this as a slight. To teach me a lesson, she then ordered a pizza and when it arrived invited all the kids in their house - except me. Obviously the other kids went for the pizza and I got ditched, for trying to do the right thing.

    I was so hurt by it I refused to hang out with her son again and that was pretty much the end of our friendship.

    Pixelated_Penguin808 , Polina Tankilevitch/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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    #17

    Birthday cake with four lit candles and smoke rising, capturing moments that turned friends to strangers. When I spent £100 on their birthday and they wouldn’t buy me a 69p drink.

    bingusmadfut , Matthias Zomer/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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    #18

    Two young women sharing a moment at a social gathering, highlighting moments that turned friends to strangers quickly. She talked poorly about every single person she knew/met.

    spicymeatball707 , cottonbro studio/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

    B Teeling
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sad, unfortunately maybe that's how she was treated. No excuse but we can have empathy for understanding where it may come from

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    #19

    Man expressing shame and disbelief, illustrating moments that turned friends to strangers in seconds. He was caught stealing from another friend and instead of even pretending to apologize, he came up with a convoluted excuse to justify it.

    Hrekires , Анна Хазова/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

    B Teeling
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Back in my early. 20s, we were playing poker after work with some good friends and one of our friends: We caught him cheating and we could tell.he was humiliated, but he tried to excuse it.

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    #20

    Young woman with curly hair looking ashamed during a tense conversation, highlighting moments that turn friends to strangers quickly. They purposely embarrass you in front of others, then expect you to get over it. They bully other people. (This was HS).

    Individual_Phone_152 , Anna Shvets/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

    B Teeling
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes, definitely a good reason to discuss; with somebody acting out like that, I do feel sadness because that's probably how they were treated growing up That does not excuse their behavior

    #21

    Group of people walking down a dimly lit narrow street, capturing moments that turned friends to strangers quickly. Myself and a friend walked down an alley in the night and saw a drunkard pass out on steps, he looked in poor condition so I said nothing and friend said " we could rob this man and we would never be found out". So I say "don't be stupid, look at man's coat, he is veteran. Would not have much anyway". But he insisted and say "we can sell the medals". I felt disgusted, told that I do not want to see his face around our block again and that he no longer part of my friends. To be fair, we were hungry and desperate but I will not rob veteran of he's medals.

    Kapitan_Borris , Arlind D/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

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    #22

    Patient’s hand with IV drip and medical monitor clip, symbolizing moments that turned friends to strangers fast. Less than 24 hours after having a brain tumor removed, he called and wanted me to bring him some weed.

    esp735 , Anna Shvets/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

    B Teeling
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This particular one is uncomfortable, but I can have empathy, somebody just had a brain tumor there could be a lot of reasons why they're asking for weed, I wouldn't judge it on that.

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