If fathers get to flaunt their dad jokes, then moms absolutely win the game of funny catchphrases. They also excel at plenty of other things, but this is an article dedicated to the catchiest mom catchphrases, and as you’ll soon see for yourself, they’re as universal as they are unique. Basically, you can tell any mom apart by the way they make chicken soup and by their catchphrases. The funny mom phrases in this list come from this awesome Reddit thread, and since they weren’t written by some middle-aged dude clacking away at his keyboard for money, you can be pretty sure the moms in question are pretty real, and most of these funny catchphrases will be something that a mother would absolutely coin.
So, the main question here, perhaps, is what makes the perfect catchphrase. And, as luck would have it, the key to decoding the recipe for fame is in the name itself - a catchy phrase. Now, a catchy phrase must be memorable, must roll off your tongue in the most pleasant manner, and in this particular case, it must be the essence of a mom itself. Thus, most of these funny phrases in the list talk about topics that we’d very often associate with mothers, like feeding a horde of ever-hungry kids, helping everyone around the household to look for misplaced things, and being a tad bit ironic, while transmitting love every step of the way. Oh, and they also rightfully glorify all the funny moms out there!
Right-o, ready to read up on a galore of hilarious and painfully relatable mom catchphrases? If so, just scroll on down below and read them all! Don’t forget to give your favorite mom phrases your vote, and share this article with anyone who might find it funny, too. Oh, and once again, our praises to the people who shared their mom’s catchphrases on this awesome AskReddit thread - they truly are incredible!
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-eDgAR- said:
"English is my mom's second language so there are certain things that she gets mixed up. My favorite thing she does that I find incredibly endearing is her saying, 'The welcome' instead of 'You're welcome.' I have even started using it with my friends and they use it too."
NeonFlavoredSkittles replied:
"My mom, also a native Spanish speaker, mixes up English phrases all the time. So like instead of 'A taste of their own medicine,' she says 'A soup of the same taste.' My friends love it lol."
I'm adding A Soup of the same taste to my library. That's brilliant.
"Listen to me now and believe me later."
"'Y'all gonna make me lose my mind up in here.'
My mother could never resist quoting DMX when we were being bad."
"English is my mom's second language, so instead of saying 'It's my way or the highway,' my mom says 'My way is the highway.'"
If I didn't agree with her, even if she was wrong, (but let's face it - they are always right) My mum would say, "The windows and doors are to keep people out, not keep people in"
"'Are you drinking enough water?'
Headache? Drink more water. Upset stomach? Drink water. Bad grades? You need more water. Bone protruding from your knee? Drink some water, you'll be fine."
"OMG HE IS SO CUTE I JUST WANNA GRAB HIM BY THE CHEEKS AND THROW HIM INTO A FAN."
"Yelling in a midwestern accent 'I’M NOT YOUR FRIEND I’M YOUR MOTHER!'"
"She likes to say 'y'all' a lot even though she's a tiny Sri Lankan immigrant. It's my favorite thing."
"'Wait! This bit's poisoned!'
Said every time she walked past me, while I was eating something; then promptly followed by her grabbing the "poisoned" bit of whatever I was eating and eating it herself.
She did this every day while I lived under her roof. She still does it every time I visit or we go out for dinner."
My husband takes the first bite of something to, "make sure it's not poisonous". Or I take a bite of something I give my girls and call it my mom tax.
"Flouncing in from whatever excursion she was just on:
'Any calls from my fan club?'
My brother and I are fist-fighting to the death and tattling on one another:
'Hit him back' (while casually flipping the page in her tabloid trash mag)
Something is unfair, children tell her they think so:
'Thanks for sharing your opinion. I don't care.'"
User No 1 said:
"I made you, I can just as easily destroy you."
NopeImWorking replied:
"I brought you into this world, I can take you out of it."
The way to annoy my siblings is to hug em. Kill em with love. Even if they're jerks. I may love em, but that doesn't mean I can't defend myself when they act like buttholes.
"Make good choices!"
"Have fun just don’t do inhalants."
Yeah, I learned in school that a lot of people die the first time they used inhalants. I think it was called the Sudden Sniffing Death. And inhalants are household items, so ANYONE can use them, which makes them even more dangerous.
"'Annnnnd We're off like a herd of turtles!' Every time we left the driveway. Every. Single. Time."
"God doesn't need a damn, he can walk on water."
Ha. I though it first said " God doesn't give a d*mn, he can walk on water"
"Whenever it was time to leave somewhere she would say 'Let's make like a baby and headout.'"
"Better to have it and not need it, than to need it and not have it."
"When looking for something mom told us to find, and we either legitimately couldn’t find it, or we were being lazy: 'If I find it, I’m going to beat you with it.'
We had a good childhood, though."
Lone_Ponderer said:
"She runs through each of the kids' names before she gets to the one she actually wants to call.
'Ti-Jaa- Sarah!'"
thetransstruggle replied:
"My mom has 5 teenagers and 3 dogs. She will cycle thru a bunch of their names every single time."
My parents were divorced, and every time they swapped custody it took me at least a day or two to stop calling my dad mom and my mom dad.
"We've got food at home."
Said so many times passing McDonalds, KFC, Pizza Hut, Burger King etc etc
"She has so many, and I dunno why this is the one that comes up first in my mind, but she always says 'If you can't open it, you don't deserve it.' This phrase (which sounds a bit more whimsical in the original Serbian) goes for everything from bags of chips to those plastic packages school supplies come in. She shows no mercy when something's really hard to unwrap or pry apart.
I have subsequently gotten very good at opening hard-to-open things, and am now the go-to pickle jar guy."
My mother's favourite was, 'If it's for you, it'll not pass you'. I think it was her way of telling me you are not going to get it. Usually a job or a girl.
"'This ain't a democracy. This is a dictatorship.' Generally said after we said something was not fair or so we perceived to be unfair."
I am the man in my house. I wear the trousers - but I'm told what colour to wear.
"Know what I mean, jellybean?"
"'You’ll never guess what your father did this time.'
Dad’s always pulling s**t, and mom can never wait to recount his latest act of what is usually brash stupidity."
Buttowskie said:
"Stop that crying or I'll give you something to cry about."
Astronomer_X replied:
"Doesn't cry at all:
'So you think you're tough now?'"
Only in Ireland do children fear a mother's bedroom slipper. Worst still, even when it was for you, you had to go and get it.
"She, unfortunately, passed away back in May. But she always told me this phrase every morning when I would wake up and it has really stuck with me,
'Another day, another golden opportunity.'"
I was raised a very devout catholic family. I am not religious, and my mum knew this. But, everytime I visited her, she would always sprinkle me with holy water and say 'Jesus look after him' when I left her home. I would bless myself just to make her happy and feel content. She died 10 years ago, and every day I wish I could hear those words from her again.
"Youre cruisin for a bruisin."
"Never believe them when they say they're on the pill."
How about we just stop asking and instead teach our children to respect and protect their own reproductive organs.
"Well s**t happens, and then you die."
_kaceyn_ said:
"You JUST ate."
okey_dokey_bokey replied:
"Finish your plate."
"What do I always tell you?... Mom is always right."
"All I know is, I love you."
"I’m doing the best I can."
"I'd let you guys (me and my older brother) starve to death, but it would cost too much to bury you."
"'I know stuff'
She's said many times she ought to get that on a t-shirt."
"A little bird told me" Up until I was ten, I was always keeping an eye out for birds if I was doing something wrong. Bl*ody bird always seen me because my mother always seemed to find out. 'Mothers' they be witches.
"'You crack me up, Carolina.'
Am dude, not even close to my name. Just my momma."
"'It's a good thing you're cute 'cause you're not real bright!'
Said to me and my siblings whenever we do something stupid."
"'I can’t make you do what I want, but I can make you sorry if you don’t.' Lady’s not unreasonable but is very skilled at coming up with good punishments and sticking to them."
"I don't think my mom had one, but my childhood best friend's mom did. As we got out of the car to go to school in the morning, every day, without fail, she would say 'Be good, be kind, be gentle, be holy'. I'm the furthest thing there is from a religious man, but I'll remember those words for the rest of my life, and I do my best to abide it."
"'I gotta flip a titty!' Anytime she has to U-turn while driving.
Also 'Kiss my a** in the middle of the main street' She's been saying this so long I remember a time I said it to one of my elementary school teachers. I imagine that was fun for my mom to explain lol."
"'Quick like bunnies!' Every time we’re running late."
I've been saying "quick like a bunny" ever since No.5 said it in Short Circuit!
"If I drop something or slam a cupboard while doing something she asked:
'I didn't say break the house!'"
User No 1 said:
"'Hello, stranger'
Whenever we talk on the phone."
checkthisoutson replied:
"Yeah, mine exclaims 'I Have a son!!'"
"After finding something I was looking for: 'If it was a snake, it would have bitten you.'"
"Just saying!"
"At the grocery store and looking at prices:
'What? Do they put gold in it?'"
Must've. I literally spent over 100$ buying snacks at my local pharmacy a couple months ago.
w0w0lf said:
"'Look with your eyes, not with your mouth'
heard this one too many times when asking mum to help me find stuff."
augmentthinereality replied:
"I always got: Look with your eyes and not your hands. Or: Your eyes are in your head not your fingers.
Mostly cause I liked to touch stuff as a kid."
"'Choices and consequences' recently I quoted it to my daughter (she was dancing in the bath, slipped and banged her head) and I realized I am my mum."
"'Hang on, Sloopy!' when taking a sharp turn in the car.
'Aw, man! That's the pits! What's up with that??' when something doesn't go well.
'I still wonder where your father was the night you were conceived I'm adopted and this is insinuating that my father and I have so many similar mannerisms that he is actually my biological father.
Yes. I know the last one is weird."
"When something bad happens to me, she'll always try to correlate it to something unrelated.
e.g 'You're sick? Probably because you spend so much time on your phone.'
e.g 'You scored badly on your tests? That's god showing you that you haven't been faithful to your parents.'
I could go on but you get the drift."
"'You are an immature!'
English is not my mom's native language. I've tried to tell her it's "you're immature" for 30+ years now."
"'Anything worth doing is worth overdoing.' She applies this equally to both work ethic type stuff and fun stuff, like birthday parties."
"'Might as well slit my own throat', usually said after a mild inconvenience like being told she couldn't have a cup of tea prior to a medical scan."
"'Finesse, not force'
I have to admit over the years it’s helped me step back and take a breath before I end up breaking something to s**t in frustration."
"'You have diabetes' don't know why but every single medical problem (even a cough) and this is the first thing that comes out of her mouth."
"'Always bring a sweater.' We never listen and we are always cold. She says she wants it put on her tombstone
She also says 'Let's do it, to it!' when we're off to go somewhere. She's a cutie."
"Here are a few nuggets:
'You gotta plan your work and work your plan!' - she watches too much Dr. Phil I think
'I'll slap them into next Tuesday!' - anytime someone gives her flack
'I had to give up smoking and drinking for four months while pregnant with you!' She's never smoked and doesn't really drink.
And finally, for nostalgia... Every time she would take me out shopping when I was young, we'd get back in the car to drive home and she'd look at me and exclaim, 'We did good, bubby!'"
i've heard someone say "I'll slap you sideways!" as a threat to my friend, so we now add specific angles, like, "I'll slap you 543 degrees!" as a joke idk kinda reminded me of that
"In a heavy Wisconsin accent, 'Well other than that, I don't know much.'
This is her cue that it's ok for me to say I need to get off the phone now."
"'Go now or forever rest in pee.' before any long car trip."
"My mom tells me 'Beso de Judas' or 'Kiss from Judas' whenever I’ve done something wrong and I try to kiss her for forgiveness."
"'Love you lots like Jelly Tots'. I grew up in South Africa but live in the USA now, and Jelly Tots are a South African sweet. She texts this to me often!"
"Watch your mouth or I'll goose your balloon knot."
Not my mom, but my grandma: "Well, ain't that just slicker'n a mole's c*ck in a mudslide!" To signify when something is cool, such as when I showed her what I got for Christmas when I was a kid. God, I miss that lady!
"Close enough for government work". Usually when she was measuring something
We were 4 girls. Our mother always "cursed" us with" I hope you have 4 girls just like you" to whoever was misbehaving. I wonder if my grandmother said that to her and my 3 aunts.
Not my mom, but my grandma: "Well, ain't that just slicker'n a mole's c*ck in a mudslide!" To signify when something is cool, such as when I showed her what I got for Christmas when I was a kid. God, I miss that lady!
"Close enough for government work". Usually when she was measuring something
We were 4 girls. Our mother always "cursed" us with" I hope you have 4 girls just like you" to whoever was misbehaving. I wonder if my grandmother said that to her and my 3 aunts.
