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The sad thing about being a woman is that you inherently get exposed to some mistreatment, which is beyond unfair. Yes, we're talking about misogyny today.
To be more specific, today we're going to put a spotlight on women who've shared their experiences of misogyny in the wild. Be warned, the stories are quite upsetting and enraging, especially if you can relate to them. Still, they must be talked about, so jump in!
More info: Reddit
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
This has been true forever!
40 years ago my brakes suddenly go out. Scary!
The first place I can roll into tell me I have to replace my master cylinder for $350 and I have pretty good 6th sense and even without knowing anything about cars, I knew it was B.S., I say "thanks, gonna get another opinion" and they are like Nnnnooo you can't drive your car! And I'm like: watch me. I drove like 10mph to the next service station. They look at it and say "oh, your brake fluid is contaminated, we'll drain and replace it" cost? $10.
I hate people who take advantage of others.
Michael Largey 2 months ago
It's amazing how much work your car needs when the mechanic has a boat payment coming up.
RELATED:
#2
My husband and I are big baseball fans, especially of our local minor league team, and I'm much more involved than he is. I generally know more about the game and our team's players than he does.
When he talks baseball, no one questions him, and they give him grace if he mixes something up or just don't know something.
When I talk baseball, I get quizzed on my knowledge left and right! I have to "prove" that I'm genuinely a fan. A lot of men assume I'm only pretending to like baseball to make myself more appealing to them or to make my husband happy. God forbid a girl have a passion for a sport she played with her dad and grandpa.
detective miller's hat 2 months ago
It took my father like 25 years before he finally realised I'm just as much of a footie fan as he is. He spent a good chunk of my childhood trying to get my brothers into football while being totally oblivious to the fact that one of his daughters could kick a football with the precision of Harry Kane. It was very frustrating.
#3
We were in the market for a minivan. I did all the research, found the van and we head to the dealership. It is me, my husband, and our two youngest in a double stroller. While I am working out the deal with the finance guy, my husband was strolling around the lot with the kids to keep them entertained. First time the finance guy comes out he gives me a number, I tell him no, I came in here with this number and it is what I can afford. He says "Did you want to check with your husband?" No actually, he has no idea about any of this... I've worked in lending for over 20 years.
Second time he comes out with another payment quote, says the same thing. Goes back, and finally comes back with the payment I was comfortable with. Again he says "Do you want to ask your husband?" Bro, if I wanted his opinion he would be in here with me. I told him that if he asked me that one more time I was walking.
Tabitha 2 months ago (edited)
Always be willing to walk away, OP. Buy from another lot where they treat you with dignity. Make sure the lot with the s****y salesman is informed of the reason they lost your business forever. If the blow is directed toward their wallet, they’ll listen and hopefully make changes. I don’t understand why they thinks it’s good business to ignore 51% of the population who are in the market to buy a car anyway. Talk about cutting off your nose to spite your face. My money is just as green as a man’s, and if you disrespect me, then you’re not getting any of it but your competition, who treats me properly, will, and will not only get my repeat business too, but my word of mouth advertising and recommendations to friends to buy from them instead of the disrespectful place down the street.
We don’t want to sound like those folks who are obsessed with the Joker, saying, “We live in a society,” but there’s no better way to start today’s conversation than by stating this fact, no matter how cliche it sounds. After all, we do, in fact, live in society.
Naturally, this society comes with a lot of its problems, or, in other words, things that in one way or another have negative consequences for large numbers of people. And, oh boy, there are so many of them, if you look closely.
#4
Man, I get so mad when I’m given car repair quotes. At my last appointment, they suggested a maintenance service that was like $300+. I decided to call around to another place (another dealership even, just a town over) and get a quote for it and it was half the cost. 😭 Yeah it sucks to pay more, but it also just feels so incredibly disrespectful for someone to try to take advantage of you like this.
April Pickett 2 months ago
Mechanics are bad for this. They think the "little lady" doesn't know a battery from the windshield wiper fluid.
#5
I don’t know if I am allowed to comment for my fiancée but we just bought a house. We were not expecting her to have so much trouble being taken seriously by people who work on the house. She works from home so she deals with them most of the time. But numerous times have pest control guys, yard guys, etc. dismiss her concerns as being dramatic and give her the “nothing we can do” until I call.
One guy even told her that the bug problem was because she didn’t keep a clean house which I was shocked.
Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 2 months ago
If you can find them, hire female tradespeople. Generally speaking they are having to work better and more honestly than the men in order to create a name for themselves within a still masculine industry.
#6
Men, only men, ignore me when I speak. And they say they're just distracted or whatever, focusing on something else. But when I speak I don't have their attention. They forget what I say too. This does not happen when they speak to men.
Lee Banks 2 months ago
I've gotten bold in recent years: If a woman is speaking and man starts to speak over her, I'll straight up get attention to call the conversation to a halt. The "She was saying...?" Works everytime. (I have a group of friends that get together for debates at the pub pretty regularly. Not a pretentious monster.)
From poverty and homelessness to a lack of education, and access to healthcare – there’s a whole plethora of them. Sadly, we cannot discuss each of them at one time – it would take way too much time. So, let us focus on only one today – misogyny.
In brief, this term refers to a system that upholds gender-based oppression against women and girls. Basically, it’s a bias against women, which punishes anyone who challenges it in any way. And that punishment usually manifests through discrimination.
#7
My partner’s boss won’t let him wfh while our baby is home because “men can’t multitask” 🙄
Implicitly low expectations of men means higher expectations of women, which means we have to do more.
Ol' Stevie 2 months ago
So men being discriminated against for being men isn't discrimination against men for being men, but rather discrimination by men against women?
#8
My family doctor not taking me seriously. I was struggling with severe pain, fatigue, anxiety and insomnia. I was so desperate that I asked him if I could get a prescription for sleeping. He declined and gave me an entire speech about how addictive it is and that maybe I should try some mindfulness or whatever and that pain is normal during period and that can impact sleep in such. That's part of womanhood. Then my husband went to visit him a couple of days later. He got a prescription, no speech or warnings. No questions.
Big Chungus 2 months ago
I went to my ex-doctor about my anxiety and panic disorder, he told me I should go to church and explore faith...my new doctor gave me my lexapro back
#9
I was a director in a tech field. One of the supervisors (male) who worked for me had set an appointment to interview a potential worker (male), but wasn’t back to the office yet. The guy there for the interview asked if I was the supervisor’s secretary. That kind of thing happened all the time.
The most frequent popular expressions of misogyny are things like catcalling, favoring men over women, showing no respect for women’s time and effort, ignoring them, blaming them for conflicts, and things like that. These are the easiest to pinpoint because of how on the nose they are.
That’s why today, we decided to make this educational list of misogyny instances. Since all of these are experiences various women have lived through and went on to tell online, they might be easier to understand than simple theoretical examples.
#10
When I was younger and lived with my parents my dad would constantly talk over me and demean my opinions and feelings, and over time I just stopped trying to make my opinions known. I wasn't conscious of it however until I moved away and married a man who is a respectful conversationalist and I stopped silencing myself. Then we visited for Christmas and I couldn't get a word in edgewise when Dad was in the room, even with my husband trying to give me space to talk. Now that I was conscious of what was happening I was furious. It was as clear as day that my dad was more ready to listen to my husband than he was to me.
#11
Being told to smile more. I didn’t even realize how often it happened until I started noticing how rarely men hear that.
Big Chungus 2 months ago
My dad did this a lot even when I wasn't mad just content...so now I do it to him :)
#12
When we bought our house I put myself as the primary borrower in all the documents since I was the one on top of filling everything out/gathering documents yet in our mortgage account my husband is listed as the primary.
Michael Largey 2 months ago
My wife bought a car. All the mail from the dealership comes to me.
But why does misogyny even happen in the first place? Well, it all comes down to the fact that it’s an attitude that develops due to life experiences, upbringing, and social and cultural influences.
For example, if a person constantly observes such misogynistic behavior during their younger years, and their parents, guardians, or other role models hold such beliefs, it’s rather believable that they might develop the same thoughts.
#13
Oh, I noticed it, and it pissed me off.
My dad was getting my grandparents’ house ready to sell after their deaths, and he chose a local property manager that has no business acting as a realtor. I said, “you need to paint.” My dad said, “we’ll see what Guy thinks.” Guy asked, “paint where?” I point out the line of dirt that all walls get when they’ve had appliances or furniture pressed up against them for 60 years. Guy said, “I don’t think you need to paint. It looks fine.” Dad said, “Great. No paint.” Fast forward a few weeks, Guy says, “You need to paint; I have a contractor you can use.” Dad says, “You’re right. We need to paint,” and hires the contractor!
But wait, it gets better:
The painter sucked. Missed spots. Cut corners. Single coat when there should have been two. Meanwhile, I’m prepping and painting the house I’m about to move into. Dad hired the painter to help move stuff out of his storage unit and into my house for me to use. The painter took one look at my walls and said, “You did better than me!” I said, “oh thanks!” I thought, ‘no s**t.’ But you know, what do I know about painting and prepping a house for sale?
Teutonic Disaster 2 months ago
Really sad/enraging/fill in the blank when it's your own dad doing it
#14
Recently, I've been thinking about the term "working mom". Forget the fact that all moms, in fact, are working because taking care of a newborn/toddler/child/teen alone is a huge task, apart from household chores.
How come I've never heard of a working dad? Does being a dad mean lesser work than being a mom? Why?
The only term that comes to mind indicating a man taking on majority/all of the childcare is "single dad" or "present father". On the flip side, a "present mother" is just a mother. Do dads in relationship not normally care for their children?
#15
Men are genuinely only friendly towards me if they want to have s*x with me. They can be nice and kind without wanting s*x, but when they are friendly, I have learned it comes with expectations.
Even men in relationships. I can tell like a bloodhound which men would cheat on their partners.
*not gay men*.
There is even research showing that childhood exposure to domestic violence can form feelings of sexism and misogyny. Some cultural factors can play a part too. Some religions and cultures uphold attitudes suggesting that women are inferior, sinful, and should be submissive, which can all lead to their mistreatment.
Thus, we should all seek to call out any misogynistic behavior whenever we have a chance. After all, sweeping things under the rug never solves the problem, does it?
Have you ever experienced misogyny yourself? If you feel comfortable, please share your stories, and let’s fight this problem by addressing it, shall we?
#16
SO is praised more for doing less than me when it comes to our child.
Ellinor she/they/elle 2 months ago
The double standards in parenting are WILD. If a mom bring pizza she's lazy, a dad who does it is "fun" and "cool". A mom that bring her kid to school is a regular mom, a dad who does it is "a great dad". A mom who work is "abandoning her kids", a dad who does it is "supporting his family".
#17
It’s pretty benign but my partner and I support the same football team; I have been a fan since I was 4 (photo evidence and everything). The amount of times I’ve head something along the lines of “couldn’t have your own opinion/ such a ‘pick me’/only support them because of your boyfriend” is really really grating.
Apparently it’s inconceivable that I, a very feminine presenting woman, could possibly enjoy football, and support the same team throughout my life without the influence of a fella.
#18
Being expected to move out of the way when I'm walking towards a man on the street. Covid was the first time I wasn't ducking and diving around the pavement.
Ellinor she/they/elle 2 months ago
Yeah I also stopped moving and it's kinda crazy how they just walk right into you. They see you from afar, lock eyes with you, keep walking, bump into you and have the audacity of looking shocked that I didn't move away.
#19
I wanted to buy a car. I did the test drive, filled out the paperwork, organised the loan under my name. My husband was there on the last day when we took the car home and was listed as a second driver on my insurance. Turns out the dealership put the car entirely under his name.
Tabitha 2 months ago (edited)
The times we have bought a car I have been the one with the Kelley Blue Book, and I have been the one who haggled with the salesperson. Or tried to, if they were a man. The worst ones get this pained expression on their faces and turn to my husband looking for him to step in. He doesn’t, because he knows I’m the better negotiator, and I always get better deals. If it was left up to him, we would always pay too much for everything, because he’d take the first—-and way too high—-price the salesman offered. He is not the natural—-and aggressive—-haggler I am. I stay cool, and am always willing to walk away or stop talking and let the salesman talk himself into a corner. I also strategize and pick the reasonable price I’m willing to settle at long before getting to the lot. The only salesperson who talked to me as the principle negotiator, once they saw that dynamic, was a woman, and an older woman at that, so you can imagine the absolute puerile horses**t she had to put up with from salesMEN when she started out selling cars back in the day, as that used to be a completely male-dominated field. I liked that she spoke to and negotiated with me, so we bought cars from her for years until she retired.
#20
The rarity of baby changing stations in men’s washrooms while they are in nearly EVERY women’s washroom.
cecilia kilian 2 months ago
I have noticed that some airports have separate baby changing rooms, maybe this will catch on elsewhere.
#21
When I worked a corporate job I was given a name badge for a conference that said “assistant” I was a product manager.. I also was asked many times if I was my boss’s assistant when I managed my own portfolio of projects worth 500 million a year 😭.
Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 2 months ago
Sounds like Al Murray the comedian where he does his but asking women in the crowd what job they do. Then dismisses whatever job it is as nurse or secretary.
#22
Not going to say who
But earlier in my teen years i said i wanted to be sterilized without kids and the person i was talking to about it said
“99% of doctors will refuse you because you dont have kids” i know what they were hinting at because of my “future husband sake”.
An Gi 2 months ago
Never wanted children. Could not find a doctor who would sterilize me; like a 30 year old cannot possibly know what she wants in life. Had two kids before that last doctor finally ""allowed" it. Why don't we start a movement to regulate men's bodies the same way they control women's? yeah, right...male privilege over women's autonomy.
#23
I’m trans (mtf), and I’ve had a front row seat to this, including from coworkers I’ve known for more than a decade. The other day one guy I’ve known since 2017 tried to explain how units of measure work. I’m Senior Director of Master Data…. 🙃 He never pulled that sort of thing before.
Rick Murray 2 months ago
Look on the bright side, if he's mansplaining stuff to you, it means he's fully accepted your transition.
#24
I was an engineer at a tech company that made applicants give a tech talk to the engineers as the final stage of the hiring process. When I walked into the room, dressed in shorts and a t-shirt like every other engineer, and carrying my laptop, he looked at me surprised and said “I thought the audience was supposed to be technical”. It was so wild I didn’t even under what had happened; my teammates got offended on my behalf and I had no idea why. He didn’t get the job.
#25
I broke my car key while on a weekend away with my bf and didn't have a spare, so we had to walk to a nearby garage with the two halves of my key to see if they could copy it. I explained it was my car and what happened, the guy asked my bf loads of questions all about the make, model year etc of the car, all which I answered as it was my car. When we came back an hour later to collect the copied key, I paid and he handed the key to my bf and wished him good luck. I grabbed the key out of his hand and said, it's not luck he needs to get it's a drivers licence.. the cheek of him after I doing all the explaining and paying to still assume it musssst be the man's car 🙄.
Tabitha 2 months ago (edited)
Then grey rock Dad. When he asks you why you tell your Mom everything and tell him nothing, be brutally honest with him and tell him it’s his own fault he’s not told anything. Then lay out everything you said here about how he treats you. Just say your peace and go silent. Leave the room if you have to. Let him stew in his own juices for a while, and see if he’s self-aware enough to realize he’s been an insufferable a*****e to you your entire life just because you’re his daughter and not his son. Of he does and truly makes amends and changes, great. If not, then continue to greyrock him. If he can’t be open to listening to you without talking over you and dismissing everything you say, then he’s going to be OUT of the loop. Forever. Old misogynistic a******s from that generation need to have the lesson be the roughest, coldest, and hardest (ie most “man-style”) lesson you can shove down his throat, and MAYBE it’ll finally sink in. Maybe. I’m 64, and had to do this with certain male members of my family. Some saw the light and became better people, but others didn’t and immediately were told they’re dead to me, and stayed that way. Sounds harsh, but some people only respond to harshness, sadly.
#26
When men are surprised that I’m funny.
Giraffe Sitter 2 months ago
I don’t even get this one. I would be so enamored of someone with a great sense of humor. Are these men somehow of the opinion that she’s faking the innate funniness?
#27
There was a period of time where I was not working and I didn't have a vehicle so I decided to keep myself busy by reading books. Book after book, the female characters would make unbelievably brainless decisions. And they were female authors. I saw it countless times. I can't say it technically crept int *my* life unnoticed, because I'm not typically a reader and thankfully never had that in my life before, but it was an area of life that I had been unaware of before that.
Tabitha 2 months ago (edited)
Frustrates TF out of me too, when otherwise strong and capable women make the most d*****s mistakes or decisions—-or defer to an idiot male character to help them when they could damned well just push forward and help themselves a lot better than he ever could. Yes, I KNOW it’s fiction, and I KNOW it may be a plot device, but FFS, why can’t we have more female heroes, to get their numbers more even with male heroes? There are countless male heroes, but only a handful of female heroes? WT Actual F? Women are responsible for more heroic acts every day than men. They may not be big ticker-tape parade acts of heroism, but if you add up all the smaller ones we accomplish, there’s a hell of a lot more consistent heroism in women’s quiet subtle bravery than in the men’s once in a while splashy showy “look at me” OTT heroism, which a lot of them don’t even do all by themselves, yet never share the credit for.
#28
Working in a kitchen means I hear all sorts of misogynistic s**t. Lots of machismo. And despite being there nearly 6 years, since the place opened, I find myself behind a lot of my coworkers who haven’t been there nearly as long. Maybe I’m just that bad at my job, I would hope it was this instead of just being a woman.
Nikki Sevven 2 months ago
If it's a task done at home and without monetary compensation, it's women's work. That same task, in a professional setting, is somehow a man's job. The cognitive dissonance is staggering.
#29
I joined a church. A church elder was asking me some general questions for their records.
He asked me my husband's name. I replied that my husband wasn't joining the church.
He said they just needed a emergency contact person. I provided my husband's name and phone number.
A week later I received my tithing envelopes and the new church directory.
Both of them listed Mrs. Joe Smith. My name is nowhere to be found.
**fake name for privacy**.
#30
My father in law commented that my husband is the “head of the household”. I lead several teams in a large company and earn much more than my father in law ever did, but well….
Ellinor she/they/elle 2 months ago
Why should the household have a head ? I mean, a household is at least 2 people so why should one of them have more importance ?
#31
I always get my step dad to help with car stuff especially getting work done because if they hear I’m a woman it’s immediately more expensive.
#32
Car mechanics. I cannot deal with car mechanics talking down to me especially when in my household I'M the one who knows the most about cars.
Also, I'm a photographer. When I have a man working with me I constantly have to see and hear other people on set refer to the man as "the photographer" and me as either just [my name] or be mistaken for an assistant *even when I have a camera in my hands in front of them*.
#33
When my partner and I moved into our last apartment, I met our upstairs neighbor and got his phone number. I texted him in a group with my male partner. From then on, he never texted me anything house related, only my partner.
#34
Always being minimised and likened to a child in my work, my 'appeal', my opinions. I'm sick of it.
Giraffe Sitter 2 months ago
Not that it would be ok anywhere, but it would help to know what field/profession this is.
#35
I live in a country where misogyny isn't usually an issue. I don't know how but it really isn't. The only part of my life where I sense it is when I need some part for my car (a little project of mine). I can buy materials for home renovation and be active in the IT sector etc and no problem, but apparently cars are still an undiscovered land for women.
#36
It is a little dumb & I don‘t know if that counts? But the three major german Haircare-Influencer are men. One has a wig for his videos.
Never questioned that until a friend of mine asked me how i can take his advice for testing Shampoo/Haircare when he has Short Natural hair and mine is super long and bleached?
I just trusted his expertise (he was indeed a hairstylist, but is Not anymore, so when he is testing Products he does so on his wig).
YakFactory 2 months ago
So he doesn't trust his own product on his real hair? If that's the case, why should anyone else trust it?
#37
Most of them are very noticeable, like for male relatives its okay for them to travel abroad and study, but if i want to, I should have an older family member with me.
I did have some misogynistic views growing up that i hate myself for now, due to other school students around me, i believed women are almost always more dramatic, more superficial, weaker than me(im a girl, but a tomboy who was hated by other girls my age, boys protected me, and i also fought physically with other boys, sometimes girls, i mostly won until some point where bodies change and boys become stronger than girls and real life started to hit) I now avoid hurting any female, and avoid jokingly hitting a guy but im ready to throw punches if a guy is about to be aggressive even if i will get my a*s handed to me
Thankfully my mom and dad were always open minded and believe in equalism compared to any family members(religious family) and I didn't grow up with much misogyny as my mother has always been active in human and womens rights and built a life and strong career all by herself for her and me.
What do you think ?
Rick Murray 2 months ago
Sometimes it goes the other way too. For a good few years in the UK (back circa 1998-2002ish), I worked as a Care Assistant in nursing homes. I actually started doing it because my mother was doing it and she roped me into volunteering for an afternoon at a place where most of the staff "called in sick" coincidentally on the day of a football final, and I liked it so decided to keep on doing that. Pretty much everybody just assumed I was gay because no straight man would ever do this job... uh, why? Because it takes a gay one or a woman to know how to care for somebody? JFC.
LilliVB 2 months ago (edited)
Sexism is not damaging only to women, it's damaging to all people. Like women can't be interested and capable in mechanic, construction work and all the fields and topics that usually are associated with men, men can't be interested and capable in all the fields and topics associated with women. If you are and it's not in line with your gender, you must be homosexual, obviously/s.
Load More Replies...
Lee Banks 2 months ago
I wasn't allowed to read or play with trucks in pre-k, as they were for the boys. Mom got me out of that school. Was told I could take ap history and English, but not math or science (despite having the highest scores) because they were for the boys who would one day provide for their families. Mom had none of that either. When I went to college later than most, my writing prof did a thing for women's awareness. We'd been studying the uneven portrayal of men and women in literature when the prof stops and ask who has been married, and did you notice anything interesting about the vows. Myself and one other woman raised our hands. Prof grinned and said both of you answer.togwther.... did the officiant say husband and wife? "No." They got to continue to be men, we got to be wives.
megabeth 2 months ago
I honestly never caught that. Thanks for sharing. (Man and wife)
Load More Replies... Rick Murray 2 months ago
Sometimes it goes the other way too. For a good few years in the UK (back circa 1998-2002ish), I worked as a Care Assistant in nursing homes. I actually started doing it because my mother was doing it and she roped me into volunteering for an afternoon at a place where most of the staff "called in sick" coincidentally on the day of a football final, and I liked it so decided to keep on doing that. Pretty much everybody just assumed I was gay because no straight man would ever do this job... uh, why? Because it takes a gay one or a woman to know how to care for somebody? JFC.
LilliVB 2 months ago (edited)
Sexism is not damaging only to women, it's damaging to all people. Like women can't be interested and capable in mechanic, construction work and all the fields and topics that usually are associated with men, men can't be interested and capable in all the fields and topics associated with women. If you are and it's not in line with your gender, you must be homosexual, obviously/s.
Load More Replies... Lee Banks 2 months ago
I wasn't allowed to read or play with trucks in pre-k, as they were for the boys. Mom got me out of that school. Was told I could take ap history and English, but not math or science (despite having the highest scores) because they were for the boys who would one day provide for their families. Mom had none of that either. When I went to college later than most, my writing prof did a thing for women's awareness. We'd been studying the uneven portrayal of men and women in literature when the prof stops and ask who has been married, and did you notice anything interesting about the vows. Myself and one other woman raised our hands. Prof grinned and said both of you answer.togwther.... did the officiant say husband and wife? "No." They got to continue to be men, we got to be wives.
megabeth 2 months ago
I honestly never caught that. Thanks for sharing. (Man and wife)
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