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“Men Writing Women”: 30 Times Male Authors Wrote Female Characters So Poorly, It’s Almost Like They’ve Never Met A Woman Before (New Pics)
Writing a captivating piece takes way more than putting pen to paper. The author spends countless hours developing the plot, writing and rewriting it, crossing out hundreds of unnecessary lines, and doing the research—lots and lots of it. Some writers could work more on the two, wiping out some of the information or researching it better. Otherwise, they might end up being shamed for some of their inaccurate, unrealistic, or plain foolish lines. As these male writers depicting female characters did.
The subreddit “Men Writing Women” is dedicated, as the description suggests, to “how men who create films, books, TV, and graphic novels characterize women”. Members of the community clearly don’t shy away from sharing their finds, and we have gathered some of their best examples into this list today. If you feel like it’s too short, check out our previous pieces about “Men Writing Women” here and here.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Who Doesn't Love To Bleed And Writhe In Pain Once A Month?
Firstname Lastname 2 years ago
If anything, I look forward to celebrating that I'm not pregnant, and then hate the other 99% of it.
PurpleUnicorn 2 years ago
Even when there's zero chance of pregnancy, it's still good to get that confirmation - for about 5 minutes!
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and_a_touch_of_the_’tism 2 years ago
Hormonal IUD! I had really really bad periods, and I just got one in. It’s amazing.
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BetterBitterButter 2 years ago
I wait for my periods so that I can get over the trouble it causes and then live normally for rest of the month.
Alleman Jennifer 2 years ago
I got meno in my 30. My Dr. approached with trepidation to tell me. Apparently it’s supposed to be a glorious reminder of my womanhood? I think I jumped up and did a jig. He seemed confused.
Aroace tiger (she/they/he) 2 years ago
The only good thing is the relief that my tits don't hurt and the knowledge it could start any time is over. Everything else is absolutely awful
RELATED:
#2
Jane Goodall Should Just Go Ape S*it
Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago
I can show you something motherly and nurturing *starts regurgitating what was food once*
O-O 2 years ago
bp comments are a new breed and wackier than both tumblr and reddit combined
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and_a_touch_of_the_’tism 2 years ago
I hate it when people immediately give any badass woman the title of “maternal,” “protective,” “trailblazing.” Smh.
Sherry Moore 2 years ago
You don't have to have humans to have children I was very motherly to last 2 doggos
Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago
But then there are many women who aren't nurturing at all. And hey, that's OK, too
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The Original Bruno 2 years ago
Again... while the response from illegitimate-crepe is hysterical, I don't think it's out of line to credit her success in part to approaching the chimpanzees in a different, more nurturing way than male researchers before her.
Mary Rogers 2 years ago (edited)
Perhaps. But I think what women are reacting to in this post is the stereotypical way of describing a woman. It's just that descriptions like that can be limiting, and women would like to be seen as having more to offer the world than just being the stereotypical mother/nurterer.
Load More Replies... #3
“Let Them Puppies Free!”
Leo Domitrix 2 years ago
as a woman, me writing: "These stupid irritating blobs on my chest that swell every 28 days, hurt for 3-5, mean I need two whole different sets of bras, that do nothing all day..."
Salty Sasquatch 2 years ago
Maggie Stiefvater is an amazing author. I highly recommend starting with Scorpio Races. So good!
ChariotLee 2 years ago
I love the Witcher books, but if I have to read one more description of Yennefer's breasts I'm going to scream.
Jared Robinson 2 years ago
Not going to lie any sort of sexual material in books is just cringe as hell.
A Jack of all trades is a master of none, they say. That rings true, as there’s hardly a person who knows the ins and outs of every subject out there. And writers are no exception; no matter how well-read they are, writing about specific topics usually requires specific knowledge, which they might not have.
Similarly, writing about certain groups of people calls for knowing what they might be like. Or the basics of their anatomy, at least, if that’s what’s important for the story. Otherwise, you might end up sounding ludicrous to those who have a better understanding of the topic, not to mention the experts.
#4
[clans Of The Alphane Moon By Philip K. Dick] How To Assert Your Dominance Over Other Women: Scare Their Nipples Off
![[clans Of The Alphane Moon By Philip K. Dick] How To Assert Your Dominance Over Other Women: Scare Their Nipples Off](https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2023/04/2-643e9733c3571__700.jpg "[clans Of The Alphane Moon By Philip K. Dick] How To Assert Your Dominance Over Other Women: Scare Their Nipples Off")
Groundcontroltomajortom 2 years ago
There is so much wrong with this I can't even begin to.... but deburgeoned....I.... what??? You're certainly not Shakespeare mate, you can't just put a "de" in front of something to make a new word.
Noor-Jannah <3 2 years ago
He's really living up to his name! No wonder his last name is "d**k"
The Original Bruno 2 years ago
This actually is a physiological response, but it's odd to mention it when describing such a subtle response than to describe it as happening to someone's uh Philip K.
#5
What Else Could A Woman Want After Coming Out Of A Coma? Beyond The Darkness (1979)
BetterBitterButter 2 years ago
I have seen some movies where when a female character wakes up from a coma she is already wearing makeup.
SarDemMin 2 years ago
Those wonderful nurses take really good care of their patients.
Load More Replies... Jared Robinson 2 years ago
Some women are like this. My mother had just got out of major surgery and asked for her teeth cause she doesn't like people seeing her without them in. But she's still under meds so she can't have them cause she might choke on em, but she wasn't having it.
Phoenix Haessal 2 years ago
& these things somehow become the standard for what men think women want. Not what they tell them they want.
Liz Clarke 2 years ago
I don't know about this one, I've instructed my boyfriend to pluck my weird face hairs if I'm ever in a coma.
Rachel Reynolds 2 years ago
I was in a coma for three days following being hit by a car. The first thing out my mouth...was probably a string of swear words because I had three broken ribs, but then I asked if my bike was okay.
tuzdayschild 2 years ago
This was particularly odd since she never wore makeup before the coma.
Michael Largey 2 years ago
"Don't worry, dear. The mortician has people who take care of all that."
Grammar Factory suggested a rule of thumb for doing enough research for your writing. According to them, you should analyze it enough to be able to write your first draft with no holes, without it becoming a reason to put off the writing process itself.
In his book, ‘On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft’, Steven King pointed out that even though the research shouldn’t outshine the story itself (well, unless it’s a research paper you’re working on), it’s crucial for fixing any possible errors in the story and adding some credible details.
#6
Scientology, A New Slant On Life - By L. Ron Hubbard (1965)
Sue From Michigan 2 years ago
As if Scientology is the only misogynistic religion out there. Every major religion on this planet is male based, that's a big problem by itself.
Michael Largey 2 years ago
I always thought that the founding of Scientology pegged a point where society began a sharp decline.
BetterBitterButter 2 years ago
So women aren't supposed to live like humans? But isn't scientology the religion where they worship an alien and remain mum about disappearances and torment people if they leave the religion?
Nicole Weymann 2 years ago
Hey, can we talk about the five lines above that, where "... a society in which women are taught *anything but* the management of a family, the care of men, and the creation of the future generation is a society which is on its way out"? The most favourable things one might presume would be Hubbard being a pre-digital troll, a disappointed incel, a con artist *to* disappointed incels and/or a peson who found a way to store a vacuum between his ears.
Elin Sandman 2 years ago
oh ni, dear, you are a mf feathered awesome dinosaur, my love!
Load More Replies... #7
Til That I, A Virgin, Have At Least One Kid. (Once Gone, By Blake Pierce)
Stevie 2 years ago
A doctor just asked me the other day: "do you have children" I said: "No" And she (!) said: "but you have stretch marks on your belly" I legitimately didn't know how to answer her for a second.
BeepBoop the Single Pringle 2 years ago
the back of my thighs have had a child
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Nonna_SoF 2 years ago
You think this is bad? You should see the politicians.
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Lisa McCourt 2 years ago
Wait a minute. I have stretch marks. I thought I never had children. You are telling me I did in fact have a child at some point??? When?? Where is the child?? Why don't I remember???? Someone fill in the blanks please!!!
#8
I’d Like To Imagine This Was Done For The Male Characters As Well
starsailor (they/he) 2 years ago
"Annabelle...brown eyes, E cup... Lauren...blue eyes, S cup... Katherine... hazel eyes, Z cup-OKAY WHY IS THIS GUY SO F*****G HORNY"
Fenchurch 2 years ago
No silly, no names, just boob size and eye colour... They aren't real people you see they are women /s
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Eva Kašu 2 years ago
But - that´s easy job for illustrator, you should send him sketches based EXACTLY on what he wrote.
Kylie-Anne D. Leske 2 years ago
Lol! Can you imagine? Being sent a script with only eye colour and d*** size?!!
VeninTheNonBinaryRogue 2 years ago
hello :) my name is venin. kubrick is a cool name
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Lena Flising 2 years ago
Height and ethnicity are much more interesting than eye color or cup size.
In order to avoid sounding foolish, you can always turn for help to experts or outside sources that are brimming with factual information. Grammar Factory emphasized just that by suggesting using books, the internet, or expert interviews as ways of researching information for your book.
#9
In Death, I Hope All My Friends Remember Me For My Great Rack [1q84, Haruki Murakami]
![In Death, I Hope All My Friends Remember Me For My Great Rack [1q84, Haruki Murakami]](https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2023/04/6433e1fd13d84_r0dmz7dryqv81__700.jpg "In Death, I Hope All My Friends Remember Me For My Great Rack [1q84, Haruki Murakami]")
TheElderNom 2 years ago
My friend did die, I'm ashamed to admit I never mourned the loss of her breasts. But seriously what kind of garbage is this?
Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago
There's only one person who would mourn my wonderful breasts, the chick that suckles the life out of me 😂
and_a_touch_of_the_’tism 2 years ago
As fun as tits are, I can’t imagine that being the first thing I think of if a female friend dies…
Abrufal 2 years ago
It's a Japanese author from 2010 this is the same culture that gave us massive chested anime girls and Ahegao
the shrimp whisperer 2 years ago
what makes this even funnier to me is that the female character supposedly thinking all this is most likely straight 🤣🤣🤣 like gurl... what
#10
I’m Surprised No One Has Posted This Guy Yet?? From Jpod By Douglas Coupland
Anon822209 2 years ago
Oh man, am I failing at this whole 'being a woman' thing. Do you still get to be a woman if you wear sweatpants and a ratty tshirt with your lack of makeup?
Fenchurch 2 years ago
That's to BP censorship, we are left wondering what s word she dresses like... A shed, a ship, a shop, a sofa? All much preferable to the word used and think of the possibilities of dressing as a sofa!
Lena Flising 2 years ago
I haven't worn makeup for years and years. It's a preference rather than laziness. I never dress like a s***.
CanadianDimes 2 years ago
Turns out I’ve been dressing all wrong for 25 years. So much wasted time!
BakedKahuna 2 years ago
Whoa, I used to watch that series over and over. Totally forgot about it.
#11
How To Kiss A Girl…sure
Per-Ole Sjuve 2 years ago
Still valuable information. I clearly did not know how to kiss a girl. Must up my sighing game.
Load More Replies... Nonna_SoF 2 years ago
For some reason the worst part about this for me was saying to hold her right hand in your right hand. Do they not know how directions work?
Per-Ole Sjuve 2 years ago
My arms are pretty long, so I could probably manage that trick. ;)
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R Dennis 2 years ago
Step one: prepare to commit sexual assault. Step two: shake hands (right hand in right hand?). Step three: say something inane. Step four: force her head up with your free hand. Step five: while she is paralyzed with fear go in... but stop if she isn't pure! (Who knew they wrote incel fan fiction a century ago.)
David 2 years ago
The kiss scenes from old movies are pretty cringe by today's standards. I think the mentality was along the lines of "good girls don't give in without resisting first" or something like that.
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Anna Demkovych 2 years ago
BUT WAIT! Do not kiss her until you know that she uses Listerated Pepsin Gum, the only antiseptic gum in the world, the only chewing gum that makes it safe to kiss.
dan martyr 2 years ago
“Stand facing her” that’s some solid advice there, not going to get far without step one
David 2 years ago
If 50s movies have taught me anything it's that if she resists, manhandle her because after about 15 seconds she will decide she wants it and hug you back. /S. I was going to make a joke about all the sighing and that you should be careful about that unless you have a mint in your mouth - then it turned out they were basically saying the same thing.
Take me to dinner first 2 years ago
I was so ready to read that the man got rejected because of his terrible breath
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XenoMurph 2 years ago (edited)
I was married for 20 years, i did not ask for written permission for every kiss, neither did she
Melissa 2 years ago
But did you deeply sigh at least 7 times before each kiss?
Load More Replies... John Dilligaf 2 years ago
I'm guessing you hold her hand so she can't escape. And, since the odds are she's right hand dominate, holding the right hand prevents her from from hauling off and belting you one
Load More Replies...Unless it’s total fiction you’re writing about, fact-checking is important. Certain claims made by authors can raise disputes, or have consequences bigger than being cited in a certain subreddit. The author Lisa Bickmore pointed out that when a writer wants to use factual material, it’s also crucial they find good, quality information. Not only that, it’s vital to present it in a way that’s understandable to the reader.
#12
Women Have Useless Faces (A Happy Death By Camus)
Michael Largey 2 years ago
I really need to know the exact meaning of "magnificent uselessness" because I am seriously considering adopting it as my subtitle.
Potato Chimps 2 years ago
To be fair, have you ever tried to repair a sink with a woman's face? Absolutely useless. But a man just looks at that sucker and bam! clog unclogged. It's scientific.
Sonja 2 years ago
My problem with snips like that is, they're often picked from the inner dialogue of really misogynistic characters and not at all representative of the whole book or the writer. For example people love to pic the most misogynistic thoughts of Beverly's useless, abusive husband from Steven Kings It to point out how misogynistic King is. But it's definitely not King. It's the one character in that book. She kicks his but and leaves him for someone better because he's an abusive AH (and he fies when he eventually sees the monster, bleeding from his eyes). Has someone read the book that's shown here? Is this the general opinion the book is sprouting or is this an inner monologue of a misogynistic character taken out of context to bash a book trying to show the misogyny of that character?
Queen Jackson. 2 years ago
I think I’ve heard good things about Camus, too? Has anyone read this, I wonder if it’s the character’s personality.
Lena Flising 2 years ago
Poor sod, he'd be constantly surprised with the action of women, if he thought women's faces don't show what THEY can do.
#13
(Tw: Physical Violence) [nana By Zola] Zola's Nana, Or How To Stop Worrying And Learn To Love Physical Abuse
![(Tw: Physical Violence) [nana By Zola] Zola's Nana, Or How To Stop Worrying And Learn To Love Physical Abuse](https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2023/04/6433f2517c1cd_u3vib0etdp8a1__700.jpg "(Tw: Physical Violence) [nana By Zola] Zola's Nana, Or How To Stop Worrying And Learn To Love Physical Abuse")
Anyone-for-tea? 2 years ago
I thought maybe it was highlighting how women can be gaslit and manipulated over years of repeated domestic violence, but then I saw when it was written and by whom, and now agree with you. It is beyond awful.
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ThatOmniCapybara(she/they) 2 years ago
Or, even better, he steps on a lego
Load More Replies... Abrufal 2 years ago
This really isn't fair. This is a small excerpt from a book that tracks the life of a prostitute that was abused her whole life. This isn't bad male writing it's lack of context.
Pandapoo 2 years ago
It is bad writing in general. Writing in third person then “it was cowardly to take advantage of your strength…”.
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Rebelliousslug 2 years ago
I mean, the whole page is a mess but you really only need to read the last line to gag
Casey Payne 2 years ago
Then blowing out the candle, he settled himself comfortable on his back and immediately started snoring. When he woke up the next morning, he noticed a few things changed dramatically during the night. First of all, he was tied to the bed and stripped naked. He was also not in the house but outside on the lawn, surrounded by all of his stuff. There was a sign glued to his chest hairs that simply said, "Oh Hell No!"
Queen Jackson. 2 years ago
If I looked it up write, Zola is, indeed, a man and this was written in the 1800’s. Ew.
Kines Tezja 2 years ago
Stuff in this gallery is indeed riddiculous but this one? Emil Zola was a naturalist and he was writing mostly about society's problems. Here you can see a society's problem. Context is everything.
#14
The Amount Misogyny In This One Was A Bit Shocking. The Lake Of The Dead By André Bjerke
Michael Largey 2 years ago
Misogynists are in fact more popular among the weaker sex. Women, on the other hand, don't care for them at all.
A Wild Bean 2 years ago (edited)
...because what's more attractive than a (word that bp won't let me say) whose name sounds like a sea lion with a stuffy nose
Lena Flising 2 years ago
In their fantasies, perhaps. Real women like respect. Judging by how men often react when they have devices strapped to them, to immitate either menstrual pain or childbirth-pain, women are NOT the weaker s*x.
Despite being important to the integrity of the piece, facts can be too much for some readers. Unless it’s a manual—in which case, you know what you’re getting yourself into as a reader—having to deal with an abundance of detailed information can get tiresome or even boring for the regular bookworm.
#15
Hell's Angels By Hunter S Thompson. Men In The 1960s Just Understood Women, You Know?
Ken Beattie 2 years ago
You know he died like 18 years ago right? He's pretty famous not just as an author but also for the amount of booze and drugs he took.
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Bored Trash Panda 2 years ago
As an SA survivor, hell no. No one thinks that of this... you would have to be freaking bat s**t crazy to think this.
#16
There Are Many Different Types Of Arm Folds, I'm Glad Robert Cleared That Up For Me
XenoMurph 2 years ago
After a certain age, that might not be possible without a hoist. Oh c**p, did I type that out loud?
David 2 years ago
She folded her arms so tightly her nipples curled up above her waist.
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Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago
Yeah, he was pretty sexist. Always describing the attractiveness of every single woman (I.e 'she could be called handsome rather than beautiful') and her appearance in detail, while only describing the men's value as warrior or such, hardly any description of their appearance.
EarthGrowl 2 years ago
RJ gave women more agency than most writers from his time. His chapters are written from the characters point of view and men and women got ogled equally.
Load More Replies... EarthGrowl 2 years ago
RJ's books are about men finding their place again in a world dominated by women. The chapters are written from the characters point of view. Some of the men are sexist and so are the women. Both genders get ogled and reduced to being judged by their looks. I have seen people totally miss huge story arc because they don't really read it. They skim through WOT.
detective miller's hat 2 years ago
I noticed that when I was reading the Wheel of Time series, and I immediately tried to fold my arms under my breasts. It is physically impossible.
Cthulhu Kitty 2 years ago
I fold under all the time and I'm a 36D. Totally depends on body type
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Nikki Sevven 2 years ago
Yes, because that's where my elbows bend. I can't bloody fold them anywhere else, ffs.
Nicola Koh 2 years ago
i love wheel of time but this....and also the spanking why why why the spanking
#17
Liana Finck, Women In Literature, 2022
Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago
Imagine a woman writing a story were male characters are minor characters only, whose pert testicles can be seen through their filmy underwear
and_a_touch_of_the_’tism 2 years ago
“His gonads pressed against the confines of his tight pants, bouncing as he dashed forward… his Adam’s apple bobbed as he spoke, prominent…” etc etc
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In order to prevent the prospect of tiring out the reader, writers often turn to a more detailed, exciting way of writing. That in itself is not a bad idea at all; however, it’s important not to go overboard with such embellishments.
Some of the examples on this list, for instance, describe certain characters in a detailed way, which is simply incorrect. That’s when facts can turn against the writer, and make them the butt of the joke at times.
#18
Ah Yes, The Kind Of Giggles That Spill From Your Breasts. Of Course The Girl Is “Just Turned 16” As Well. (Hospital By Han Song)
that weird wallflower is demi 2 years ago
Read what comes after the underlined part
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Noor-Jannah <3 2 years ago
I read the entire page that was shown here, and I have a lot of questions. None of which I want answered.
Michael Largey 2 years ago
We've all heard of breast implants, but I didn't know they could implant speakers. Bluetooth or wi-fi, I wonder..
XenoMurph 2 years ago
Oh come on, downvotes? I was married to a very beautiful woman. Before getting dressed, on a morning, eating breakfast in bed, just the two of us. I made her laugh with my devastatingly charming humour. That's a beautiful sight, I'm sorry if you don't agree, but it doesn't warrant downvotes.
Load More Replies... #19
That Natural Womanly Instinct To Love Cooking (Do Androids Dream Of Electric Sheep? By Philip K Dick)
Bored Trash Panda 2 years ago
One thing that has always irritated me about that stereotype... that women are expected to do all the cooking at home, but when it comes to being a professional chef then its a "man's world" and women that are chef's have to work twice as hard to prove themselves.
Karen Grace 2 years ago
I got stopped at his "Clutching a soft cube of margarine." That would be rather messy.
#20
"But Whatever" (The Night Shift, Alex Finlay)
Majungasaurus 2 years ago
Isn’t it heartbreaking to know there are people out there who genuinely and confidently believe stuff like this? 😅
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Jane Alexander 2 years ago
One pro athlete was heard to say that childbirth is nothing compared to a skinned knee. - and all the child bearing women who grew up with an out door childhood are rolling on the floor laughing.
BeepBoop the Single Pringle 2 years ago
.. dang. I'm a woman, no children. And I've experienced worse than a skinned knee
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Other examples in the “Men Write Women” collection portray women in a way that is not factually correct, nor amusing. They are often based on stereotypes, which can be offensive to some female representatives, or emphasize certain “truths” that not a lot of them would agree to, such as the “magnificent uselessness of a woman’s face”, for instance.
#21
Lake Of The Dead By André Bjerke
David 2 years ago
This isn't a gender thing, it is a purpose thing. If the purpose of the story is to instruct, start with the point. "Here is how to build a wooden bench". If the purpose of the story is to entertain and keep the reader in suspense - then don't. "It was a dark and stormy night..."
Michael Largey 2 years ago
The problem with any "good, old rule" is that if it's an old rule it was probably derived exclusively by men.
Carla Phillips 2 years ago
Don't tell George Lucas. Him being of the factual minded sex, I'm sure he's already figured out he did the first trilogy all wrong and will spend the rest of his days lamenting on what might have been had he only started in the beginning.
CalamityOne 2 years ago
This is despite the fact that the story is about how he took his car in for an oil change last Thursday, and saw a duck.
#22
Lots To Unpack Here [the Road Back By Erich Maria Remarque]
![Lots To Unpack Here [the Road Back By Erich Maria Remarque]](https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2023/04/6433f104017c3_fapqf407b1ma1__700.jpg "Lots To Unpack Here [the Road Back By Erich Maria Remarque]")
Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago
Wow, misogyny and bodyshaming all in one! And something about children being pathetic as well
HelluvaHedgehogAlien 2 years ago
I’ve met some kids who could beat me up fairly easily
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MicrowaveGoddess 2 years ago
Misogyny and fat-shaming! What a wonderful combination /s. Also, is there supposed to be the accent over reenter?
David 2 years ago
Those (apparently) are your two choices women. Childlike waif or fat like a ham.
BeepBoop the Single Pringle 2 years ago
I'll take fat like ham so I don't come across this author as cute
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Doofenshmirtz Evil, Inc 2 years ago
My broad-a*s swimmer's shoulders, chilling on me, a cis female:
#23
I’m Sorry, What?!? The Body Keeps The Score By Bessel Van Der Kolk
Tyranamar Seuss 2 years ago
This is actually a very good book about trauma. I don't think the author was referring to the child as sexual in any way. Just trying to find a word for that thing kids do when they hide their face, peek out, smile, wink etc. Many people call it flirting. They're not calling it being seductive. This is totally taken out of context and inflated.
Abrufal 2 years ago
behave as though attracted to or trying to attract someone, but for amusement rather than with serious intentions. The definition of flirt btw. It doesn't empty sex in anyway. The word choice is still poor but this is from a book about how to cope with trauma. It's not a story it's a non fiction that discusses the origin of trauma and ways to help it. It's a best seller and a very well regarded book.
digitalin 2 years ago
This book is HIGHLY recommended to me by female friends. Context: a lot of people use the word "flirt", when referring to children, in a completely non-sexually and non-romantic way. People use it to mean "trying to get your attention, looking cute, playing hide-and-seek, etc". Maybe a poor choice of words, but NOT flirtatious in the adult sense.
memyselfandI 2 years ago
This author is using an old definition of flirt that had hardly anything to do with relationships. I hope.
Michael Largey 2 years ago
The author said "any two-year-old", so it's not about women in particular. He happened to use a girl's name in his example, but his meaning would be the same if he had said "Fred" instead of "Kimberly".
Isa's left eye 2 years ago
Maybe they should be banning books like this, rather than Fahrenheit 451, 1984, and other books. It's ironic that books speaking out against censorship are being banned, isn't it?
Anyone-for-tea? 2 years ago
What?! This book has been recommended to me more than once! Glad I haven’t bothered.
The Original Bruno 2 years ago (edited)
Please reconsider. He's using the word in a completely nonsexual, sadly archaic way. I remember it well being used to be describe babies' attention-attracting behavior (like erupting in smiles at eye contact) as "flirting." Dear God, if there's ANYONE in publishing who's NOT trying to normalize pedophilia, it's this guy.
Load More Replies...Certain views towards women in these snippets are not only displeasing but outdated as well. They often sound like something from the 19th century—the time when gender bias was so strong, some women authors chose to write under male pseudonyms. (George Eliot, who was actually Mary Ann Evans, or George Sand, a.k.a. Amantine Lucile Aurore Dupin, just to name a couple.)
#24
Breast Roll By "It's Kind Of A Funny Story" By Ned Vizzini
that weird wallflower is demi 2 years ago
"Girls' breasts are so amazing." NOPE, NOPE, NOPITY NOPE!! I NEED UNSEE JUICE PLEASE
BeepBoop the Single Pringle 2 years ago
I CANT POST PICTURES BC I'M ON MOBILE BUT HERES SOME JUICE 🧃🧃🧃
Load More Replies... Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago
Where can I get these amazing mobile breasts? Asking for a friend...
Ephemeral Mochi 2 years ago
This is actually hilarious to me, but if it was meant to be serious... 😬
Michael Largey 2 years ago (edited)
This is a character talking, not the author, so probable meant to be funny. (I hope.)
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#25
Nod By Adrian Barnes
ACE PIRATES 4 THE WIN 2 years ago
Then I shall rip out my eyes and throw them to the crows (sorry but I’ve been waiting to use this book quote for years)
EarthGrowl 2 years ago
I'm sorry but I don't know if I would want to associate with a person who spends the bulk of their life dreaming about a "Perfect Wedding" or names and occupations for their future children. I paid $26 for my wedding and still married 30 years later. Don't try to plan your childrens lives then try to force them to follow your plan. Your children will be Nothing like you imagined.
#26
"A Fine Porch Door"... From The Stand By Stephen King
Lily Robertson 2 years ago
Post Apocalyptic theme...old "God fearing woman" is definitely going to be assessing baby making potential in young women. I give this one a pass.
David 2 years ago
I am in my 60s. I have heard MANY euphemisms and slang for people's bits. "Porch door" has never been one of them. Is it full of holes like a porch door in a hot climate or is it solid like like the door on the mud porch of our family farm? Can bugs get in? Does it slam shut if you are not gentle with it? Does this mean that my bits would be the muddy boots in this analogy? Or worse... the mosquito? /S lol
Tee Rat 2 years ago
Be careful around the door latch and I don't recommend fly strips.
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ValdaDeDieu 2 years ago
THIS IS NOT THE AUTHOR'S PERSPECTIVE. The author is writing the character's thoughts.
Ken Beattie 2 years ago
I've used this same argument on a lot of these posts. That said, this quote is coming from a female character so while it nails "folksy" it still comes off as weird.
Load More Replies... Michael Largey 2 years ago
When I was single, I was more interested in what a woman had in her attic.
#27
I Feel Christopher Pike’s Spellbound Could Fit
Abrufal 2 years ago
Another out of context blurb. Cindy is one of two main characters in the novel. This blurb was taken from a longer section were Cindy is flirting with a guy she thinks murdered his friend to get info. Pike is actually praised for his accurate portrayal of teenagers and writing female characters (he was a YA author from the mid 80s)
Julie Snelling 2 years ago
I love Christopher Pike I read all his books as a teenager.
Load More Replies... bread lord 2 years ago
how would you even do that omg, "her lips closed around the hot dog and sucked it sensually." do you realize how dumb that sounds??
The Original Bruno 2 years ago
This is how he lost command of the Enterprise. (And if you think I'm mixing Christopher Pike up with Christopher Pine, we cannot be friends.)
Ken Beattie 2 years ago
This one seems more lazy that anything else. Like he could have described in a more detail how she did it but just couldn't be bothered.
Andrew Fallon 2 years ago
I eat a hot dog messily. Ketchup all over my face. Mustard on my fingers... I'm probably not helping.
#28
Coast To Coast Murders, James Patterson
Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago
That you're some kind of masochist who likes nipple clamps??
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David 2 years ago
As a senior male, this is one of the benefits of getting older. I have bags under my eyes and my body is going to heck but at least I can give my moobs a tweak to feel better about myself. /s
Tyranamar Seuss 2 years ago
This is because if men had boobs they'd play with them all day. So they like to imagine that's what we do.
Ken Beattie 2 years ago
Twist the left one to change channel, the right one for volume.
Load More Replies... Jared Robinson 2 years ago
Boy howdy I know that's what I do first thing when I get up is play with my nips. lol nips what a toddler word. Isnt he a best seller?
Bookworm 2 years ago
The thing about James Patterson is that he hardly ever writes anything by himself anymore, he almost always works with a co-author, so your experience may vary significantly depending on who his writing partner was. This one was co-authored by J.D. Barker.
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#29
The Immortalists By Chloe Benjamin. A Genuinely Good Book With The Worst First Paragraph!
Isa's left eye 2 years ago
Why isn't this illegal? That is absolutely disgusting. What kind of person writes about a naked child like that?
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
wait till you try Lolita, an alleged classic, if you want to see pedophilia accepted as literature.
Cthulhu Kitty 2 years ago
Eeww and who has nipples and areolas the shape of dimes? Do you know how small a dime is?
Ken Beattie 2 years ago
They do come in a variety of sizes though. A dime sized one would be small but not some sort of medical anomaly.
Load More Replies... Potato Chimps 2 years ago
At the risk of being run out of here on a rail, which is fine, everyone is entitled to an opinion, describing a naked teen is not pedophilia. Describing a naked child is not pedophilia. Nothing sexual is happening in these descriptions. Anything of that sort would be happening in your mind, if at all, based on where you took the description. And there are a lot of legal cases, studies and analysis that show, even if a sexual act with or among children was described in writing, that's not pedophilia either. There's no actual victim (it's made up writing) and even though it's gross or disturbing, it's not real. Claiming something imaginary is a crime is a pretty complicated path, although I understand the revulsion and the fear it could inspire actual action. Still though, it's just a description and it's not actually the real thing. There's a difference in my opinion.
Beruthiel45 2 years ago
And it is written by a woman describing the physical onset of puberty in a young girl. Is that pedophilia? It's graphic but accurate. It doesn't fit the criteria of this topic - male writers revealing their ignorance about women. This author knows exactly what she is describing because she has been there and lived that. Who chose this item to be included in this list? Were they trying to show the difference between a knowledgeable author and the other ignorant and misogynistic examples written by men?
Load More Replies... #30
Go Home Everyone About To Post Stephen King. Alizee Yeezy Has Trumped All Of You
Lakota Wolf 2 years ago
I’m sorry, he’s horrible simply because he MENTIONS boobs? I’m female and I’ve read every one of his books and I’ve never felt offended or that he’s sexist.
Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago
Yes, I love his books! Only thing I ever found strange is the 12 year old girl sleeping with all 4 boys at the end of It to defeat Pennywise
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kansasmagic 2 years ago
Stephen King and others working in the genre of "supernatural evil terrorizes kids during summer vacation" - looking at you, Dam Simmons! - write similar passages describing adolescent boys. Let's not overlook the scene in It b/w Patrick and Henry. Or, if you prefer, do overlook that!
LemonHead 2 years ago
stop that entire section of beverly watching the bullies or whatever. lighting each others farts???? and then ofc the whole patrick/henry thing? i love stephen king but that was so weird. i liked how it gave a bit of backstory to Patrick but what the f0ck dude
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#31
Poet Fundamentally Misunderstands Women
that weird wallflower is demi 2 years ago
People don't automatically think that you're beautiful just because *clears throat* iM a WOmAN! That doesn't make people think that you're beautiful. I know because the kids in my class hate me and call me ugly, and my birth gender and gender they know me to be is being a woman so yeah lol
#32
From The Pictorial 1952
Sabrina Longo 2 years ago
The mans comment is misogynistic. The women's comment focusing on looks and not abilities was chosen (or writen) by a man to make women look vapid.
M O'Connell 2 years ago
Dorothy Kilgallen was also very sarcastic (and quite funny, too), so that may play into her remark.
Load More Replies... David 2 years ago
1952. lol imagine if you had told them we were going to get a black president. bwah-hah-hah! (to be clear, I'm not saying non-whites should not be president. I'm saying that was likely the prevailing opinion in 1952 by the same folks who thought a women incapable of managing a household budget)
Michael Largey 2 years ago
I'm grateful for how all those male presidents kept the budget balanced all these years.
Son of Philosoraptor 2 years ago
My wife does our books. Does just fine. This first gent is happy.
Kraneia The Dancing Dryad 2 years ago
Too bad Dorothy kilgallen died under suspicious circumstances...
#33
Because This Is What A Female Psychologist Would Think When Dealing With A Paranoid Schizophrenic Violent Patient. Domain, Steve Alten
CrazyKnitter 2 years ago
This is only possible if it's Harley Quinn/Joker levels of red flags. No actual psychologist would be thinking this.
#34
The River Between By Ngugi Wa Thiong'o
Becky Samuel 2 years ago
What's meant to be wrong with this one? Has nobody here ever felt a real connection with nature? Or has this list primed everyone so badly that all you can see is something horrible in a harmless sentence which could be applied equally to a male or female character?
Min 2 years ago
I can't speak for everyone else, but my breasts don't glow and I definitely don't get a stirring in my bowels when aroused. That's actually something that I find a bit of a turn off, really.
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#35
“Her Breasts Quivered With Excitement” Really??? (Sales Pitch By Philip K. Dick)
Tina Girard 2 years ago
That's a weird tic - quivering boobs? Some kind of neurologic disorder?
Shyla Bouche 2 years ago
Nothing like picking up something you've dropped and getting two black eyes for your trouble. "What happened, Shyla?" "Oh, nothing. Just my b00bs beating me up."
Load More Replies... Michael Largey 2 years ago
When a woman's breasts quiver, it's usually because the rest of her body is quivering as well.
#36
Nietzsche Going At It (Beyond Good And Evil)
Libstak 2 years ago
Eff of Neitzche, always knew this douche was just another overrated mysogonist like Freud.
Abrufal 2 years ago
The dude died in 1900 can we stop with judging people in the past with our own social views. Beyond good and evil was published in 1886. It might still be wrong but at the time it was just how people thought. Remember people flat earth was once fact. Africans being inferior was once fact. Homosexuality being a mental disorder was once fact.
Son of Philosoraptor 2 years ago
Thank you. Plus he was savagely rejected by the only woman he ever loved and took out his feelings with this sort of nonsense. Beyond Good and Evil and the Genealogy of Morals are still brilliant.
Load More Replies... #37
I Hate It When I Am Unfemininely Crisp And Therefore Less Attractive Than I Could Be To My Male Coworkers. (Brain Wave, Poul Anderson)
and_a_touch_of_the_’tism 2 years ago
Hold on… crazy idea here… what if we dress up… for OURSELVES!
Alyza 2 years ago
*gasp* HOW DARE YOU COME HERE WITH SUCH LEWD IDEAS!? /s
Load More Replies... Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago
It's our obligation to be as attractive as possible to all males!/s Thank God I'm a feathered dino and it's our male's obligation to dress up and shine for their females
CalamityOne 2 years ago
I hate it when I get all dressed up to go out, only to realize I'm much too crisp to leave the house...
#38
Many Thanks To Kobo Abe For Explaining The Female Condition In His Classic Novel ‘The Woman In The Dunes’
Awkward lady 2 years ago
Why am I still reading these? My hackles are rising (not my breasts, sorry).
Majungasaurus 2 years ago
You mean your breasts aren’t quivering with excitement? Weirdo (kidding, very very kidding)
Load More Replies... #39
Women As Baby Producers... (Slaughterhouse Five By Kurt Vonnegut)
that weird wallflower is demi 2 years ago
Want some unsee juice??? Screenshot...c33422.png 
The Original Bruno 2 years ago
In fairness to Vonnegut, he's asserting what MEN want to do, nothing about Maggie. They see her as a baby producer; she takes birth control. (He says she's dull, but is that misogyny, or his way of saying that she was NOT a remarkable woman.)
#40
My Friend Sent This To Me: It Starts Out Awful And Only Gets Worse. [zadie Smith, White Teeth]
![My Friend Sent This To Me: It Starts Out Awful And Only Gets Worse. [zadie Smith, White Teeth]](https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2023/04/6433f31aba738_62gkl4pt6f2a1__700.jpg "My Friend Sent This To Me: It Starts Out Awful And Only Gets Worse. [zadie Smith, White Teeth]")
Rose 2 years ago
Zadie Smith is a Black woman and her works CRITIQUE racism and sexism. This is taken out of context.
Abrufal 2 years ago
Almost ever entry in this post is out of context. I can take just about any boom and highlight 3 sentences and say it's something bad
Load More Replies... Tucker Cahooter 2 years ago
Irrespective of whether to content is good or bad, the author (Zadie Smith) is a woman and so this entry should not appear in a list entitled "Men writing women"
detective miller's hat 2 years ago
"Wearing" her bellybutton? Does that mean she can take it off?
#41
Chuck Palahnuik- The Invention Of Sound
Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago
And as opposed to thar, what are illegal breasts?
Load More Replies... S Schmidt 2 years ago
Yes and how does this s$%t get published? Or are these crappy male authors publishing their own books?
Load More Replies... CalamityOne 2 years ago
As everyone knows, breasts are like fish. Anything under or over the set legal size(s) get tossed back into the pool.
#42
The High Auction By Misba (Literally The 2nd Page)
FantastiKitty 2 years ago
Did the character die and come back as a teen girl? It would explain.
#43
Second Reference To Her Oversized Bazungas In As Many Paragraphs - Paternus By Dyrk Ashton
#44
Arthur C Clarke - Rendezvous With Rama (1973). What Norton Says Here Is Really Stupid, But It Seems Like Clarke Knows This
MaggieMay85 2 years ago (edited)
Boobies is space, I totally would go braless. Just let the girls float on their own. 🥹it would be wonderful
CalamityOne 2 years ago
Off topic, but why is is specified as "serious space accident"? Seems like if they are in space, you could just say "serious accident"... Or maybe that just doesn't sound as science-fiction-y...
That Goth Demon (zey/zem) 2 years ago
No I don't need if humour thanks, especially if it's mysogynistic
Load More Replies... #45
This Makes Me Prefer Men Writing About Women's Breasts (Bellevue Square By Michael Redhill)
Becky Samuel 2 years ago
Sounds like a pretty accurate description of an untrimmed bush in cheap white cycle shorts. Totally unnecessary, but accurate.
#46
Asked A Text Ai (Link In Comments) To Write A Women Written By A Man
KOTLC_Fan 🇺🇦 2 years ago
nah im concerned about two things: where all the snacks went, and HOW DOES SPIDERMAN END
Shyla Bouche 2 years ago
What I want from a man is a dog, a kitten, a good gaming system, and a ride to the store.
The_Canadian_Zebra 2 years ago
I tried it with two AI. Chat gpt refuses to write something. The other one did it but after asking it a second time it refused.
#47
"All Women Are Deeply Ashamed Of Their Periods." - Ross Anderson (Book Is Security Engineering, 2010)
Tucker Cahooter 2 years ago
Of course the author's actual evidence of this is non-existent. Maybe he is just projecting his embarrassment at once having to buy them on someone else's behalf
Becky Samuel 2 years ago
Is it non-existent or is this your prejudice against any author quoted on this list? For all you know this information is not only accurate but backed up by statistics.
Load More Replies... David 2 years ago
This is factual. Less so now than in 2010 and less so in 2010 than in the 1960s but yeah, many women used to be brought up that their periods were secret hush hush nobody talks about that and God forbid a man sees you with tampons. I was brought up by a matter of fact mom but many people were not. Modern times it is more open. I'm male but keep some tampons on the shelf over my toilet for any visitor who might need them. But back when I was a boy you never saw stuff like that. Culture also matters. I'm talking about USA but in some countries it is still a huge thing. Also in some countries (Philippines for example) most women use pads and tampons are harder to come by because for some reason using tampons makes you a 'bad girl'. TLDR: Be glad you live in a time and place where the above paragraphs sound more ridiculous.
bottomless.abyss.of.bordem 2 years ago
Well, damn. Sounds like we should all get a free supply to our homes than.
#48
From Sartre's Nausea
that weird wallflower is demi 2 years ago
*grabs a bomb* This will work better
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Moosy Girl 2 years ago
It’s never too late! Though mine would probably be called lowly fruits now. :p
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#49
We Can Remember It For You Wholesale (Total Recall) - Philip K. Dick. Aka: Sometimes Even Your Favourite Authors Fail
bread lord 2 years ago
MR PHILIP D**K YOU HAVE BEEN ON THIS LIST TO MANY TIMES FOR YOUR OWN GOOD
Abrufal 2 years ago
In his defense raised in the 30s and 40s US those were a backward people when I came to women
Load More Replies... that weird wallflower is demi 2 years ago
Because it's also a swear/curse lol
Load More Replies... David 2 years ago
There is a lot wrong there but "today painted an incandescent orange" trumps the other stuff. Also, painted orange / trump was not an intentional pun but I'll leave it. Chuckles at BP for half heartedly blurring out the author's last name. We totally can't tell what it says and our pure little minds are saved because of it.
M O'Connell 2 years ago
There are SO many different kinds of melons that this sentence is just useless.
#50
From "Carolina Moonset" By Matt Goldman. Where Did The Firehose Come From?
David 2 years ago
I feel like this one does not meet the thread subject of 'men barely understand women". This is just an author lampooning a particular type of woman who is overtly 'fake'. I've seen them IRL. Women with fake hair, fake nails, fake breast, fake tan and such to the point you wonder if you hosed off Mrs. Doubtfire you'd find Robin Williams underneath. It obviously is not describing most women but the creature being described does exist IRl.
EJBWritesBooks 2 years ago
If you blasted any woman for a solid minute with a firehose, she'd crawl away with NO skin.
#51
The Waste Lands (Dark Tower III) By Stephen King
#52
It’s Not Like I Expect Much From Certain Erotic Genres, But This Was Such Classic R/Menwritingwomen It Made Me Laugh. Mahoushi Teria To Tiken Na Iraisho By Mtd
Lily Robertson 2 years ago
Hahahaha.... i just got an image of her greeting her breasts individually and sticking out a hand, "How do you do, left breast! Are you ready for today's journey? Excellent! And right breast, welcome to the quest!"
#53
“Cell” By Stephen King. You’re In A Zombie Apocalypse But You’re Worried About…what?
Susie Elle 2 years ago
Again, this could be indicative of the character in the book, not the author.
Lily Robertson 2 years ago
We've all met "her", and been wildly annoyed by her.
Load More Replies... Abrufal 2 years ago
Alice Maxwell is a 15 yo kid with anxiety issues. In context (having read the book) the world is falling apart and she is freaking out. She can't control the world failing apart so she focuses on something petty. Having said that King is deff one of the better male writing female examples out there
MaggieMay85 2 years ago
Jared, that comment wasn’t really needed. This is a post about male authors portraying women, please think how your comment is sitting in this setting.
Load More Replies... Anyone-for-tea? 2 years ago
This is the most badly written book I have ever had the misfortune to read! It reads as if he knocked it up on a rainy Sunday afternoon, and he couldn’t be bothered to proof-read it. One of the dramatic sentences revealing the plot of the book was misspelt and it drove me crazy! I still can’t believe I finished it.
#54
Oh The Humanity! From House Of Leaves, By Mark Danielewski
Indigocat 2 years ago
How come her lips are stuffed with toilet paper from a cadaver's a*s or did I read that wrong?
MaggieMay85 2 years ago
It’s fat tissue from a dead person’s butt. Not the wiping tissue.
Load More Replies... Robert Beveridge 2 years ago
I'm more thinking the iceberg given that last bit
Load More Replies... Lily Robertson 2 years ago
The boobage description was so epically wild it actually managed to overshadow the bit where it looks like she's a cannibal who dines butt first.
that weird wallflower is demi 2 years ago
this paragraph is the reason unsee juice was created
detective miller's hat 2 years ago
That books was such a pile of rubbish, idk how so many people praise as some great literary accomplishment.
Son of Philosoraptor 2 years ago
The character is a young fool, you can't get the author for this. The book is pure genius and every horror fan should read it at least once.
#55
"Dogfight" By William Gibson And Michael Swanwick
EJBWritesBooks 2 years ago
Aroused? As if nips and male anatomy worked the same way? Buddy, the only similarity is that it hurts a lot to get punched in them.
Abrufal 2 years ago
Two things a·rouse/əˈrouz/ verb 1. evoke or awaken (a feeling, emotion, or response). "something about the man aroused the guard's suspicions" 2. awaken (someone) from sleep. "she had been aroused by the telephone". You are now aware that aroused isn't slang for erection. In context aroused means hard. Also nipples are an erogenous zones and 100 percent will get hard if sexually excited. They will also perk up if your cold scared and excited this is true for makes and females
Load More Replies... FantastiKitty 2 years ago
I'm gonna have to stop. I thought this article would be funny, but I'm actually suffering.
#56
‘Twitching By Numbers’ By Garry Bagnell, A Memoir Of His Anecdotes About Birdwatching, Published In This Very Year 2022. Insert Joke About Tits Here, But Seriously This Is Why Women Still Feel So Unwelcome In The Birding Community
David 2 years ago
Ya'll should be kinder to bird watchers. If they were any good with women they wouldn't be hiding in the bushes with binoculars. More to be pitied... and all that.
LiuLiu 2 years ago
you said it all "hiding in the bushes with binoculars"
Load More Replies... Shyla Bouche 2 years ago
I have to admit, mine do swing like a pendulum. Gravity gets us, in the end.
#57
I Love This Series And I Am A Fan Of King, But 🙄🙄🙄 [the Waste Lands (Book III Of The Dark Tower Series), Stephen King]
![I Love This Series And I Am A Fan Of King, But 🙄🙄🙄 [the Waste Lands (Book III Of The Dark Tower Series), Stephen King]](https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2023/04/6433ef5d81816_VFDuQ1l__700.jpg "I Love This Series And I Am A Fan Of King, But 🙄🙄🙄 [the Waste Lands (Book III Of The Dark Tower Series), Stephen King]")
EJBWritesBooks 2 years ago
I mean that would have been perfect without the "as a woman" part...
Shyla Bouche 2 years ago
I tried so hard to read this series. Book one was great, although too short. Books 2 and 3 were good. Book 4 was a bit much. Book 5 was ridiculous. I gave up somewhere in book six. I just couldn't do it. Too bad King didn't say the same thing.
Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago
Really? I enjoyed them and hope for more fantasy books by him 😆
Load More Replies... Lily Robertson 2 years ago
Well, to be fair, in my past life as a bean, i didn't say much, and in my past life as a man, i never shut up waking or asleep.
#58
Catch And Cradle By Katia Rose. Written By A Woman, But I Still Thought This Line Would Find A Place Here
David 2 years ago
The term 'gay' used in the context of sexual attraction is not exclusively male. It has come to be used almost exclusively to refer to males, the obvious counter part being lesbian, but strictly speaking it doesn't have to be a man. So basically just another way of saying, "even though I'm a lesbian I still had a reaction to (what she saw)"
Load More Replies... A Wild Bean 2 years ago
...is the author actually gay though? If she isn't, that just makes this even weirder
#59
One Mention Of “Undulating Breasts” In A Book Is One Too Many [satan: His Psychotherapy And Cure By The Unfortunate Dr. Kassler, J.s.p.s. By Jeremy Leven]
![One Mention Of “Undulating Breasts” In A Book Is One Too Many [satan: His Psychotherapy And Cure By The Unfortunate Dr. Kassler, J.s.p.s. By Jeremy Leven]](https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2023/04/6433f121dbaec_7hun3ssyid991__700.jpg "One Mention Of “Undulating Breasts” In A Book Is One Too Many [satan: His Psychotherapy And Cure By The Unfortunate Dr. Kassler, J.s.p.s. By Jeremy Leven]")
David 2 years ago
I looked up the definition and TBH I have seen undulating breasts many times. Though I can't say I was "disquieted by their turbulence" DEF: "having a smoothly rising and falling form or outline."
Bookworm 2 years ago
Undulating usually implies movement; a piece of seaweed might be undulating. Personally, mine have never done that.
Load More Replies... #60
This Is How I Plan To Introduce Myself From Now On
David 2 years ago
Context matters for this one. It's been a long time since I read the book but IIRC she was a goddess with three forms - the young maiden, the middle age, the old lady. Zane had met her before but called her by the wrong name and she was explaining that ATM she was not that persona, she was the middle aged one. In the context of the book it made sense. "(Greek mythology) One of the three Fates (Moirae), daughter of Zeus and Themis; the measurer of each thread of life. Her Roman equivalent is Decima. "
David 2 years ago
Wait for old age. It's like being moved to the special ed classroom. You don't get more attractive but they change the grading curve and the expectations are lower so you still get a pass. :) (source - me not dead yet)
Load More Replies... #61
Apparently The Protagonist Got All Of Her Talent From Her Dad, But Her Mother Gave Her Was 'Pluck' And "Tangerine Breast," From Tom Robbins' Skinny Legs And All
Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago
So women pass on physical attributes only and men mental ones, noted
That Goth Demon (zey/zem) 2 years ago
A weird way of wording that the hair couldn't be styled, it styled itself
Load More Replies... #62
“They Are Overwhelmed With Thinking And Doing…”
Tucker Cahooter 2 years ago
Another Andrew Tate disciple by the sounds of it. He runs a dating workshop too. I had a look at it and it has things like this (actual quotes): "This is for the woman that YEARNS to feel chosen, protected, safe, and cherished by a strong masculine man." and "This is for the man who wants to claim a woman who is soft, sensual, playful, and receptive to his gifts."
#63
Coma By Robin Cook
Awkward lady 2 years ago
Yes, I m always staring at my naked body in any mirror, I could have been a (clog) dancer...
David 2 years ago
The last two boxes with the vanity / mirror stuff I get. But IDG why the other boxed texts are a fit for this thread. Being noticed for your physical beauty when you don't want to be is a very real problem for some women. I know a woman - very stand out attractive - who quit her much better paying job as a server at a casino to work for less money at Lowes because she was soooooo tired of men constantly making passes at her. And she is rather shy / quiet - not a "flirt". Her stepfather was a cook at the same casino and one time a man was talking to him about what he'd like to do to her and so on and he was like, "Dude, that's my daughter!" "Oh! Sorry man! I didn't know!" (and so it went).
That Goth Demon (zey/zem) 2 years ago
Why are so many people (note that I said people) soooooooooooo predatory like this??!!
Load More Replies... Lara Verne 2 years ago
'style that make eyes turn and hypothalamuses awaken' sounds like déformation professionnelle talking
#64
Boobs Ahoy! The Heart Of Man-Jin Kalman Stefansson
#65
[heretics Of Dune By Frank Herbert] I Wonder How One Would Master The Three Hundred Steps Of Orgasmic Amplification
![[heretics Of Dune By Frank Herbert] I Wonder How One Would Master The Three Hundred Steps Of Orgasmic Amplification](https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2023/04/6433f1d1e1a24_zz3hr98wk9oa1-png__700.jpg "[heretics Of Dune By Frank Herbert] I Wonder How One Would Master The Three Hundred Steps Of Orgasmic Amplification")
Abrufal 2 years ago
This isn't fair if you actually know dune This is a conversion with an Imprinter. They were agents of a faction known as The Sisterhood. Imprinters were genetically altered women that used sex as a way to make men absolutely devoted to them (imprinting) so they could control them and further their own interest. Could be viewed as misogynistic or empowerment I suppose.
Shyla Bouche 2 years ago
Have you read the one that was finished after he died?
Load More Replies... #66
Thomas Jefferson To William Fleming, March 20, 1764, "11. O’clock At Night," Papers, 1:16
David 2 years ago
SO true! No woman ever wore a ribbon or bracelet for her own pleasure. The only possible reason is their desire to please men. /S
Michael Largey 2 years ago
"They are formed for attentions and not for hard labour." I'm sure this view came as a surprise to many of his female field slaves.
#67
From “A Cornucopia Of Dunderheads” By John Kennedy Toole, Jr
#68
Her Breasts Did What? The Cloud Sculptor Of Coral -D, By J.g.ballard
David 2 years ago
Girl 1 "MELONS!" Girl 2 "Tangerines!" Girl 3 "Coconuts!" Girl 4 "Torpedoes!" Girl 5 "EAGER SNAKES!" Girls 1-4 "Say WHAT?!"
That Goth Demon (zey/zem) 2 years ago
They must grow right out like worms then /s
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#69
I Know This Is More Men Designing Women, But The Costume For The First Female Version Of Spider-Man Is… Something
EJBWritesBooks 2 years ago
How does the hood work? Is it attached to her cleavage? Or is she wearing a skinsuit over a spider-man outfit?
#70
[six Feet Under Par By Brent Norwalk/The Good Place By Micheal Schur] Found This Gem On The Wiki
![[six Feet Under Par By Brent Norwalk/The Good Place By Micheal Schur] Found This Gem On The Wiki](https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2023/04/6433e18824e6a_e7g87edojmra1-png__700.jpg "[six Feet Under Par By Brent Norwalk/The Good Place By Micheal Schur] Found This Gem On The Wiki")
#71
From The Rising Tide By Sam Lloyd. Anyone Got That Seal Skin Routine?
Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago
Stop associating stretch marks with pregnancy! Many people have them without ever being pregnant. I was pregnant once and have no stretch marks to show for it (the only reminder being that huge c-section scar). It all depends on your genes and how weak or strong your connective tissue is
#72
What's That Going By? Just A Pair Of Legs. [the Bat By Jo Nesbø]
![What's That Going By? Just A Pair Of Legs. [the Bat By Jo Nesbø]](https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2023/04/6433f2006d007_kl3a95d3v5ka1__700.jpg "What's That Going By? Just A Pair Of Legs. [the Bat By Jo Nesbø]")
#73
“Something Wicked This Way Comes” By Ray Bradbury. This Is A Lot Less Sinister Than Some Other Posts Here But Still! I Guess Only Men Get Existential Dread At 3 Am
David 2 years ago
Dear Charles, the trains run at 3 AM because those hours have the least amount of vehicle traffic to be held up waiting for trains to go past crossings. It's a logistics thing. The women and babes are asleep at 3 AM because they were up at 11 PM, 2 AM and will be up again around 5 or 6 AM. Let them try to get some sleep.
Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago
That's a good one, isn't it? Waking 5 times at night hollering at the top of your lungs for sustenance is very peaceful
Moosy Girl 2 years ago
Hahahahahaha the sleep of babes and children, HAHAHAHAHA. Anyways, we don’t wake then because we’re still up reading BoredPanda more like. :p
#74
Stephen King - The Shining
Susie Elle 2 years ago
To be honest, he's describing a walking corpse, and I can imagine how undead breasts could look like ancient punching bags.
Moosy Girl 2 years ago
Ok but you try making breasts like that sway while sitting up in a bathtub.
Load More Replies... Groundcontroltomajortom 2 years ago (edited)
This whole passage reads badly IMO... whose urine "spills effortlessly" out of them??
Abrufal 2 years ago (edited)
You see a dead rotting naked women get out of a bath tub and see how effortlessly your urine flows
Load More Replies... David 2 years ago
I'm wheezing! I have a friend with 'ancient cracked punching bags' but I'd like her to remain my friend so I probably won't share this gem. And for clarity - she's the kind of friend who would probably find it funny and has used some other not so complimentary terms to describe them.
Abrufal 2 years ago
Read the whole passage not just the highlighted bit. He is describing the corpse of an elderly women that just got up and walked.
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#75
Because Daughters Flirt With Their Fathers From Birth (Last Orders By Graham Swift)
David 2 years ago (edited)
This is at least the second entry with 'flirt'. TBF, flirting is not always sexual. In fact deinition it is not serious. I knew a little girl (she is a grandmother now) who absolutely did flirt with her dad even though she had no idea what sex was. Or another way to say it might be 'turning on the charm'. But when she wanted dad to say yes to something she would act all nice and bat her eyes and such. It was so obvious it was comical. I have known the family since before she was born and there was absolutely never anything sexual between them. In fact the dad is rather straight laced / shy / introvert. We laugh about it now and she admits she did it. I have no idea where she picked it up. EDIT: She reminded me a bit of Flower in the Bambi movie.
Elwood Schwartz (it/that) 2 years ago
Are you an immortal of some kind? Vampire or Highlander, perhaps?
Load More Replies... #76
Is This Really The Best Description He Could Come Up With? (The Crimson Petal And The White By Michael Farber)
David 2 years ago
LOL "Honey, what do you think of my new lipstick?" "It makes your mouth look like a tiny pink vulva." "Sooo... vertical and rather like an alien mouth?" "Yeah".
That Goth Demon (zey/zem) 2 years ago
Bro really didn't realise what he said 💀💀💀
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#77
Will Haunt You By Brian Kirk. It Will Haunt You 🤢
Michael Largey 2 years ago
The author must be an expert on doors. Because he's been shown to enough of them.
Terry Tobias 2 years ago
Since when have women's breasts been moving around so much? Mine didn't get the memo.
#78
Absolute Fanasty (American Gods - Neil Gaiman)
O-O 2 years ago
I asked my brother to put my water bottle in his pocket and he said i can see that you have pockets, i already have 3 put it in yours - i legit laughed maniacally and said THEY'RE FAKE
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Phoenix Haessal 2 years ago (edited)
Haha.. hahahaaaa! 😂 Also, since it's fantasy they can stretch as much as they wish to..
Anyone-for-tea? 2 years ago
Okay, but this isn’t in the same league as Scientology and the one about nipples.
MaggieMay85 2 years ago
My pocket in my blouse, it called a bra. I always have tissue in there and not to stuff it.
#79
From The Duel, A Short Story By Kaiko Takeshi
#80
Interesting… (Feed, M.t Anderson)
Bookworm 2 years ago
This doesn't really belong here. Feed is a surrealist-dystopian novel in which most of the characters' minds and personalities have been overridden by the internet. If you read the book, you understand the overall context, in which the narrator can't think or remember or do anything that isn't suggested by 'the feed.'
Michael Largey 2 years ago
once worked for a principal (well, against, actually) who has a very supple spine. Parents could bend it any way they wanted.
Bookworm 2 years ago
Most of the first half of the book is written in this style. It's a surrealist dystopia, the kind of thing where individual sentences out of context are just nonsense, but if you read the whole thing you start to understand it. It's actually very, very good; the quote here isn't meant to be objectifying a woman so much as an individual thought trying to break through corporate-enforced brain fog.
Load More Replies... #81
Men Writing… String Orchestra Instruments? (Setup And Repair Of The Double Bass For Optimum Sound By Chuck Traeger)
#82
Prodigious Jugs [dreamcatcher By Stephen King]
![Prodigious Jugs [dreamcatcher By Stephen King]](https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2023/04/6433f02711fa3_ydhKh7n__700.jpg "Prodigious Jugs [dreamcatcher By Stephen King]")
#83
Describing A Woman That Looks Good For “Breeding”, And Another Woman That Looks Like A Pastry, In The Same Paragraph - “Darkfall” By Dean Koontz
BatPhace 2 years ago (edited)
I think the "breeding" in this case is actually referencing the person's own genetics, not "breeding her". That's only a little better, if at all though
David 2 years ago
Yeah, plus it isn't really used just for the literal sense of the genes but also the upbringing / culture. Usually a family of wealth, went to the right college, finishing school and so on.
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Amanda 2 years ago
Women shouldn't be reading, they should be 'enhancing their feminine essence'. (joke)
Load More Replies... Liz Clarke 2 years ago
People from a good family and/or a high social class used to be referred as having good breeding. The pastry analogy is creepy though
Robert Beveridge 2 years ago
I will from now on compare everyone to pastries. Will I encounter more crullers or croissants?
Shyla Bouche 2 years ago
I would like to be one of those flaky Pillsbury rolls that has all the layers in it.
Load More Replies... #84
Considering How Many Girls Fall In Love With Horses At Age 6-8, This Creeps Me Out Bigly (The Diana Chronicles By Tina Brown)
Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago
I loved horses when I was in elementary school, and most others do, too. So there's a sick thought for you
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
george RR martin's favorite ride. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bKxg-wca5pM
#85
Male Author Who Doesn't Understand Women Assumes Men Are Just Incapable Of Understanding Women [fulgrim, Graham Mcneill]
![Male Author Who Doesn't Understand Women Assumes Men Are Just Incapable Of Understanding Women [fulgrim, Graham Mcneill]](https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2023/04/6433eca7ef44b_j1q0x730ksd91-png__700.jpg "Male Author Who Doesn't Understand Women Assumes Men Are Just Incapable Of Understanding Women [fulgrim, Graham Mcneill]")
#86
Investigator Arrives At The Crime Scene Where A Woman Has Been Murdered And Begins To Imagine Her With Her Killer [i Am Pilgrim By Terry Hayes]
![Investigator Arrives At The Crime Scene Where A Woman Has Been Murdered And Begins To Imagine Her With Her Killer [i Am Pilgrim By Terry Hayes]](https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2023/04/6433ec2b804ed_qqdwkysj98c91__700.jpg "Investigator Arrives At The Crime Scene Where A Woman Has Been Murdered And Begins To Imagine Her With Her Killer [i Am Pilgrim By Terry Hayes]")
Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago
Because that's the first thing I'll imagine when I see a dead body/murder victim
#87
The Shape Of Water - Andrea Camilleri
David 2 years ago (edited)
That made me remember that scene in Star Wars in the trash compactor where that eye stalk pops up out of the water and looks around. Except now it's a nipple apparently. I'm pretty sure "miniscule panties" is what you call thongs when you are getting paid by the word.
#88
I Wonder If The Author Ever Actually Talked To A Woman
Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago
I've seen similar things in a lot of trashy manga. Incel Otaku cliché ✅️check
#89
This Man Need His Book Publishing Rights Taken Away
#90
For The Lactose Intolerant Reader
Tucker Cahooter 2 years ago
He authors vegan cookbooks so I don't know if he is just taking the p*ss or if he really is obsessed with vegan cheese
David 2 years ago
This is actually funny. A friend of mine couldn't eat regular cheese for a while and had a hard time finding a vegan cheese that would melt. She only found one brand that would do so. Most vegan cheese I've tried is rather nasty. She can eat real cheese now. Just learned to avoid certain kinds of it.
#91
Dear Juliet: Letters From The Lovestruck And Lovelorn To Shakespeare's Juliet In Verona - Giulio Tamassia
Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago
I'm also swaying with each step! Might be from all the rum, though
#92
She’s Exhausted After Work, But Because She Senses Hubby Wants Sex, She Does Too. The Consultant By Bentley Little
#93
To Contrast The Other Post About Nausicaa, Here's Hayao Miyazaki Discussing His Thoughts About Her Chest
David 2 years ago
I have seen the movie several times. Never thought of her breasts as large. Just googled still pics and there are a few where she looks a bit like a woman with larger breasts who dresses to minimize. In other scenes she does not look large at all IMO. But if you have never seen the movie, she is perhaps 'large' for Japanese but in no way is she a "Jessica Rabbit" kind of figure. For the most part, the only large breasts in Ghibli movies are the "old lady" characters. Granny/witch in Spirited Away and so on. Ghibli movies are about empowering women, not sexualizing them.
Arte the Kitty 2 years ago
omh what. Hayao Miyazaki used to be my idol... another one bites the dust
#94
All Of This About Someone Else’s Wife 💀 (The Sympathizer By Viet Thanh Nguyen)
Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago
'He had a mind like a To-Do list, the spine of a daycare worker and the body of a high-school quarterback even after fathering 5 children.' Yeah, sounds ridiculous all right
#95
The Croaning By Laird Barron. Ps: Anthropologists Dont Cry
Shyla Bouche 2 years ago
No, that's not true. Take an anthropologist to see a really sad movie, they're going to cry-- especially if the dog dies. Everybody cries at a really sad movie if the dog dies.
David 2 years ago
Author writes that women are overly emotional. BP: "That's unrealistic! It goes in the thread!" Another author writes about a woman who is not overly emotional. BP: "That is also unrealistic! It goes in the thread!" lololol I don't know about the tribes mentioned but in some cultures with very sexist roles / rules it is very believable that a group who considers women 'lesser' in the first place would be unimpressed by crying women. Again with the Philippines but another example is I was going to purchase a small umbrella - cuz rain. My PI relatives kindly informed me that only women use umbrellas. I was like WTF but okay, whatever - and just let myself get rained on to avoid rocking the boat.
#96
[the Warlock In Spite Of Himself -- Christopher Stasheff] The 28 Year Old Mc's "Dream" Girl. Her Age Is Unclear But She's Been Described As Child-Like More Than Once. Eesh
![[the Warlock In Spite Of Himself -- Christopher Stasheff] The 28 Year Old Mc's "Dream" Girl. Her Age Is Unclear But She's Been Described As Child-Like More Than Once. Eesh](https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2023/04/6433eeff94eae_jybsr1nr8yx81__700.jpg "[the Warlock In Spite Of Himself -- Christopher Stasheff] The 28 Year Old Mc's \"Dream\" Girl. Her Age Is Unclear But She's Been Described As Child-Like More Than Once. Eesh")
Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago
'He had pouty rosebud lips, a slender prepubescent boy's body, budding testicles and puppy hips under clinging spandex, a T from hips to floor.' Who wants to hear more?
#97
I Burst Out Laughing At "Inching Breastward" [the Boatman's Daughter By Andy Davidson]
![I Burst Out Laughing At "Inching Breastward" [the Boatman's Daughter By Andy Davidson]](https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2023/04/6433ee11169a1_74wqhlvjcrpa1-png__700.jpg "I Burst Out Laughing At \"Inching Breastward\" [the Boatman's Daughter By Andy Davidson]")
#98
"Childlike" -James Herbert, The Survivor. 😭🤮
#99
Good Eve, Fair Females! After Reading That Sesquipedalianism Is Arousing, I Ask That You Please Form An Orderly Queue Instead Of Throwing Yourselves At Me. Perchance. (*a Dark Matter* By Peter Straub)
#100
Absolute Power By David Baldacci
Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago
Ah damn, I accidentally released my breasts again and poured them on the street
#101
Always About The Breasts. Home By Harlan Coben
Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago
What is it with men and breasts? We have beautiful ears, too. And noses
#102
Sister Talks About Her Brother’s Physique For Way Too Many Sentences, Arthur C Clarke In Songs Of Distant Earth
Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago
It's inevitable: *banjo music intensifies*
Load More Replies... #103
Wow Sounds Pretty Accurate (Naked By David Sedaris)
David 2 years ago
This is actually very accurate for some women of a certain age. My step mom was visiting my grandmother (pa-ma) in the rest home. She noticed something in her lap. She finally realized grandma didn't have a bra on and the something was the end of her breast protruding out under the bottom of her shirt. So yeah... orange in a windsock about nailed it.
#104
Possession By A. S. Byatt - Watch Out, The Mean Feminists Boo Women With Nice Hair!
Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago
Yes, boo all women with hair! They all used shampoo, these devils
#105
Almost Black By Vijay Chokalingam😟
EJBWritesBooks 2 years ago
Again this is the character...I hope he's portrayed as flawed though.
#106
Men Emojiing Women
Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago
Yeah, I always invite my three gay friends to party and celebrate I'm finally rid of an a*****e 🍾🍻
#107
Ok I've Been Really Enjoying Finally Reading Initial D But What The F**k Is This
Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago (edited)
Typical manga plot. Kind of like 'why's there hay laying on the ground?'
#108
I Think She Could've Grabbed The Fallen Soldier's Camo Or Vest. Cold Wouldn't Bother Her, But Bullets Would, Regardless How Durable She Is. [project Hyperion, Jeremy Robinson]
![I Think She Could've Grabbed The Fallen Soldier's Camo Or Vest. Cold Wouldn't Bother Her, But Bullets Would, Regardless How Durable She Is. [project Hyperion, Jeremy Robinson]](https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2023/04/6433f3f40ffd7_dvjrksaiun791__700.jpg "I Think She Could've Grabbed The Fallen Soldier's Camo Or Vest. Cold Wouldn't Bother Her, But Bullets Would, Regardless How Durable She Is. [project Hyperion, Jeremy Robinson]")
Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago
Going out in all but your bra and panties in Russia seems like a good idea
#109
Totally Normal Assumption To Make... [gauss: Titan Of Science By G. Waldo Dunnington]
![Totally Normal Assumption To Make... [gauss: Titan Of Science By G. Waldo Dunnington]](https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2023/04/6433f31fb6f42_MXfy2zo__700.jpg "Totally Normal Assumption To Make... [gauss: Titan Of Science By G. Waldo Dunnington]")
Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago
I didn't know I could cure my introversion by 'adjusting' myself sexually. Cool
#110
Philip K. Dick Posthumously Published Work Gather Yourselves Together
#111
[mating Males An Evolutionary Perspective On Mammalian Reproduction By Tim Glover] From What He Has Heard From Many Ladies
![[mating Males An Evolutionary Perspective On Mammalian Reproduction By Tim Glover] From What He Has Heard From Many Ladies](https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2023/04/6433f23916336_ws2f9rq4gzd91-png__700.jpg "[mating Males An Evolutionary Perspective On Mammalian Reproduction By Tim Glover] From What He Has Heard From Many Ladies")
#112
The Stepford Wives, Ira Levin
#113
A Necessary Detail (Peach Blossom Paradise By Ge Fei)
Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago
I hate it when that happens *sighs and proceeds to collect the breasts from all directions again*
#114
Sightseeing By Rattawut Lapcharoensap
#115
Paulo Coelho's 'The Alchemist' - Half Way Through And I'm Not Sure It'll Pass The Bechdel Test
#116
"Sturdy Nipples" In The Erstwhile By B. Catling
#118
Exerpt From Champion Of Luck By Charles Kirkman: A Harem Comedy Based On Japanese Mythology, Anime, And Videogames
Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago
*strongly refrains from typing 'cute, testicular, raven haired boy'*
#119
This Is The Main Character Mitchell Talking About His Nine Year Old Daughter. I'm Concerned. (Me And Mrs. Jones By Linda Cajio)
#120
I Don't Think That's Quite What "Glowing" Means... From "Little Bee" By Chris Cleave
Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago
No woman in her right mind would try to conceal her glowing skin with foundation. Hell, I'd be skipping with joy if my skin did something like that
#121
*sigh* She Even Repeats It (Super Danganronpa 2: Goodbye Despair)
Jennifer .S 2 years ago
For context, this is only one frame of a full conversation. The full conversation continues: girl: I wonder if that's possible. Two of us are girls. *door opens after they push it* boy: it opened! girl: yeah, even with two girls here.
#122
Killing Commendatore By Murakami Again… 12yos Do Not Ask Older Men About This…
Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago
Imagine writers using the word testicles as often as they do breasts.
#124
[angels & Demons By Dan Brown] He Almost Got Through The Whole Descriptor Paragraph Without Mentioning Breasts
![[angels & Demons By Dan Brown] He Almost Got Through The Whole Descriptor Paragraph Without Mentioning Breasts](https://www.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2023/04/6433f14880ba2_9pbg14dk42791__700.jpg "[angels & Demons By Dan Brown] He Almost Got Through The Whole Descriptor Paragraph Without Mentioning Breasts")
#125
The Ice Twins By S. K. Tremayne. Did Not Realize The Author Was A Man Until I Made It To The End Of The First Page
Add New Image
What do you think ?
Purple light 2 years ago
My boobs must lead a double life. I've never seen them behave like these men describe them.
Yoga Kitty 2 years ago
IKR?! Neither rolling in sync with my eyes, nor giggling - what a bummer! Unfortunately, I do not think that I could still get a refund on mine, guess their warranty expired when that patch of black fur started growing between my legs many moons ago... Alright, enough internet for me today - I'll gather my army of kitties and go to bed before I lose my last few braincells!
Load More Replies... Eastendbird 2 years ago
TLDR: Breasts, breasts, breasts, breasts, women quite like rape, breasts, breasts, women talk too much, breasts, breasts, women are stupid, breasts, breasts, breasts.
tuzdayschild 2 years ago
Jo cut off her hair and sold it to buy her mother a train ticket to visit Jo's wounded father. See, woman can be more than boob stands.
Queen Jackson. 2 years ago
Apparently you can’t like jiggly boobs and fat butts while knowing basic anatomy and that women and living human beings with brains and kidneys at the same time.
LokisLilButterknife 2 years ago (edited)
If women wrote about men the same way men wrote about women: His groin was on fire with the burning flames of a thousand splendid suns. His nipples were erect and his brow glistened with sweat and motor oil. His bulging and rippling muscles were about to burst out of his skin tight shirt that could no longer hold back the sign of his supreme manhood. His leg hairs blew gently in the warm summer breeze. When he opened his mouth to speak his glistening teeth were whiter than the winter's snow.
Pieter LeGrande 2 years ago
The worst are mystery and detective story writers who have been told by their publishers to include a sex scene in their next book. Totally unnecessary in the context of the story and best covered in one or two sentences only. Instead it expands to fill an entire chapter and serves only to demonstrate that the writer and the publisher are so locked into their world that neither has a clue on the whole subject of sex. Skip the chapter and it makes absolutely no impact on the story.
Purple light 2 years ago
My boobs must lead a double life. I've never seen them behave like these men describe them.
Yoga Kitty 2 years ago
IKR?! Neither rolling in sync with my eyes, nor giggling - what a bummer! Unfortunately, I do not think that I could still get a refund on mine, guess their warranty expired when that patch of black fur started growing between my legs many moons ago... Alright, enough internet for me today - I'll gather my army of kitties and go to bed before I lose my last few braincells!
Load More Replies... Eastendbird 2 years ago
TLDR: Breasts, breasts, breasts, breasts, women quite like rape, breasts, breasts, women talk too much, breasts, breasts, women are stupid, breasts, breasts, breasts.
tuzdayschild 2 years ago
Jo cut off her hair and sold it to buy her mother a train ticket to visit Jo's wounded father. See, woman can be more than boob stands.
Queen Jackson. 2 years ago
Apparently you can’t like jiggly boobs and fat butts while knowing basic anatomy and that women and living human beings with brains and kidneys at the same time.
LokisLilButterknife 2 years ago (edited)
If women wrote about men the same way men wrote about women: His groin was on fire with the burning flames of a thousand splendid suns. His nipples were erect and his brow glistened with sweat and motor oil. His bulging and rippling muscles were about to burst out of his skin tight shirt that could no longer hold back the sign of his supreme manhood. His leg hairs blew gently in the warm summer breeze. When he opened his mouth to speak his glistening teeth were whiter than the winter's snow.
Pieter LeGrande 2 years ago
The worst are mystery and detective story writers who have been told by their publishers to include a sex scene in their next book. Totally unnecessary in the context of the story and best covered in one or two sentences only. Instead it expands to fill an entire chapter and serves only to demonstrate that the writer and the publisher are so locked into their world that neither has a clue on the whole subject of sex. Skip the chapter and it makes absolutely no impact on the story.
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