Anyone who has been even tangentially interested in dating content online has no doubt come across the idea of an “ick” as well as “red flags.” For those who are unfamiliar, both of these are things people dislike and aim to avoid when dating. This can range from personal preferences to behavior one should absolutely avoid.
Someone asked “Men/boys what are your biggest icks or turn-offs in women/girls?” and males shared their thoughts. So get comfortable as you read through, upvote your favorites, and be sure to share your own thoughts in the comments section below.
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Absurd caterpillar eyelashes. Absurdly gross long finger nails.
I recently visited Santorini. One evening, I had dinner at a place overlooking a very popular spot with an amazing view of the island and the water. I lost count of how many Insta girls dragged their dead-eyed boyfriends there and proceeded to cycle through two dozen look-at-me poses while whining photo instructions. Treating people in your life like props or unpaid crew just so you can appear glamorous on social media is a major ick.
Everyone carrying a camera around all the time and their need for attention on social media has created a pathological narcissistic world.
Treating people like servers, bartenders or cashiers like complete garbage is a huge red flag and it shows what type of person they really are.
The options these men shared cover a pretty wide range of possible issues. What a woman’s voice sounds like is closer to an ick. After all, everyone has their own preferences, there isn’t exactly an “objective” superior vocal tone. However, a few of the men here seem to have misunderstood the assignment.
After all, a partner who suddenly ghosts you because she feels like it sounds like a nightmare for the vast majority of people. This is less an ick, and more a major behavioral issue. Oftentimes, icks are superficial, physical traits, although those can still bring forth pretty sizable emotions.
My big three: Materialism. Sincere belief in Astrology. Kardashian worship.
When they say s**t like “if he’s under 6 foot or makes less than 100k a year I’m not interested.”
Ironically I am 6’2 and make over that, it’s not about feeling secure it’s just about being annoyed by idiocy.
You are not an amusement park ride, you don't need a "you must be this tall" sign
Racism. Had a girl call a group of black kids the nword because they very slightly delayed us. Like literally they were just walking across the crosswalk.
Never went from 100% to 0 that fast. She was so confused why I didn't want to stay the night with her.
Racism is below the lowest of the low. I'd keep far away from any racists, men or women. It's just evil. It's not even zero interest, but -100 interest.
When every other word that comes out of her mouth is "like". Drives me crazy.
Phone addiction.
Doc911:
Phone addiction which too often is just social media addiction. The worse of this addiction results in "phubbing."
If she's already on the phone all the time with insta/texts/messages, you already feel like you're never alone with her. Your time together is always shared. If on top of that she's on the phone for social reasons when you are specifically trying to spend time together ... rude, lack of respect, and a clear sign whatever is on that phone is more important than you are. Most women wouldn't tolerate it, men should not either.
i had a friend like this i am guy but we were just mates we used to grab a coffee or lunch together but she would always be texting on her phone when we hung out i started to not enjoy being around her its fine to answer a text but to be on the phone the whole time and not be present i cant help but feel like i must be boring
I hate this trend where women are getting work done surgery/botox/filler to try an achieve that ig/tiktok influencer look. IT LOOKS SO FAKE AND UNNATURAL. Not to mention everyone just look f****n homogenous so no one stands out with whatever unique beauty they might’ve had.
When their dating profile is a list of qualities they want in a man, but doesn't say anything about what they're like or what they bring to a relationship.
When their entire profile is "Just ask." No thank you. You couldn't be bothered to find one interesting thing to say about yourself, and that tells me all I need to know. Bye.
Baby voice outside of talking to a baby or animal.
Little girl or baby voice on an adult woman is cringy and irritating.
When they always portray themselves as the victim and take zero responsibility.
I'm a lesbian, so I hope I can wage in here.... Obsession of TikTok and Taylor Swift. Like I like Taylor, but paying thousand of euros for tickets and acting like a psycho when someone say anything bad...no...also that TikTok gf behavior, ex.expecting people to treat her like a queen, without her doing anything to deserve that.
Look I treat my gfs like queens, but they don't act entitled to it, they also deserve it.
I have never understood wanting to know about the personal lives of musicians. It reeks of a lack of personality or fantasizing in the obsessed fan.
Caring more about their appearance on social media than their real life.
Demanding emotional vulnerability and using it as a weapon after the guy's opened up. One of the worst betrayals someone can pull on a man, and if I'm talking to a woman who casually mentions a previous bf/lover and talks s**t about his vulnerabilities behind his back in conversation? I'm out, you can handle the check.
If she’s hardcore religious or even remotely religious for that matter. I don’t want a woman who’s going to expect me to be some godly, spiritual leader of the house or relationship….
Fair enough. I'm religious but I don't think I'd want a partner who wasn't because it would make things more complicated if we believed different things. But each to their own
Only has guy “friends”. Claims other women are “too much drama”. Coincidentally is always involved in drama and loves gossip. Always talks about “haters” and “fans”. Social media bio: “Keep lurking sis 💅💋✨🧿”.
I agree with most of it, except of "only guy friends". I have almost exclusively male friends and colleagues, because most of my hobbies are male-dominated (like, I only found 2 women interested in them in my area - one is my sister, the other one and I didn't "click"). I don't badmouth other women and/or think that I'm better than them, it's just that it's easier for mw to find male friends
Based solely on my experience? Believes in astrology. Has untreated borderline personality disorder. Stays friends with people who have hurt them. Lack of social awareness.
Inability to admit to and apologize for doing rude or s****y things.
For example:
"Hey, did you eat the food I made before bed? That was my breakfast. I told you I didn't have time to cook anything before work, now I'm gonna be late."
"What makes you think that I ate it? Why are you assuming it was me?!?"
"We're the only two people living here, and you asked me about it before I went to sleep."
"Maybe you ate it and forgot!"
"No, I didn't drink last night. We had no guests over. I passed out right after putting it away, and now it's gone. I'm less upset about you eating it than I am that you're not being honest."
"FINE. EVERYTHINGS ALWAYS MY FAULT, YOU A*****E! I GUESS I WON'T EAT ANYTHING ANYMORE!" *storms away*
I've been in this type of scenario more times than I can recall. Just admit what you did and apologize, I'll forget about it in an hour. Freaking out instead of being honest just leads me to eventually breaking off the relationship.
Excessive vocal fry. Sounding like a Kardashian/Jenner is the opposite of attractive.
I never knew what that was until a couple of years ago on vacation I heard two American women talk like that. It sounded SO weird. Is that a thing in real life or just some wanna-be star thing?
I enjoy singing, and when I was a kid, my mom wanted me to be a Famous Actress™️ and put me through so many acting, dancing, and singing classes. So, I know the vocal-fry thing is common in certain singers - especially female ones - and I personally CANNOT STAND it when it's over-used/used in the entire song (though - I hate Amy Winehouse's singing voice too, though I acknowledge she had amazing, massive talent.) I had no idea that vocal fry was used as part of the everyday "speaking voice" nowadays for young American women - and I'm an American! XD I'm 42 so I don't have a lot of young friends, so I can't say I've noticed it myself.
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It's like when you have strep, but always. That kinda smoker's voice.
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While we are on the subject of vocalisation, for me it is the upward inflection at the end of every sentence. Aussie men will know what I mean
Even us Americans understand that reference...I watch a lot of Aussie Youtubers, and that upwards /question inflection at the end of sentences drives me batty.
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I'm female and have to agree with this one. So many podcasts are presented by women who do this and I can't bear to listen to them.
my voice sometimes sounds a bit deep and vocal-fry-ish, but it's natural. But I know plenty of people force it, and it does sound grating when they do that. I just hope my voice isn't grating when I slip into it naturally ;-; (it tends to happen when I'm more tired etc)
Oh no, per the comments below, sounds like I have this "vocal fry"- I had a severe bout of pneumonia a few years ago that affected my lungs so severely that it changed my speaking voice- I used to have a strong, clear voice and even a pretty good singing voice. Now I sound husky all the time. It comes out more if I've been speaking a lot, this soft, raspy voice. I talk all day long to my patients and by the end of the day my voice is shot. Now I'm wondering if I'm annoying the s**t out of people.
You may have nodules on your vocal cords, which can develop as a result of over using your voice, or tension in the neck area causing the voice to be strained. Happened to me when working a switchboard, and after laser surgery my voice was beautifully restored.
Load More Replies... To be fair, there is a part of your voice that you can't change. Like, you know, the natural sound.
Most of the time it's not a natural sound but a way of speaking. Nothing a voice coach can't fix
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Dr Geoff Lindsey (linguist) has a great video on vocal fry on YouTube. If you don't know what it is, or if you have some strong negative opinions, check it out. It's *really* interesting and challenges a lot of assumptions. It's almost half an hour though so pick a good time. https://youtu.be/Q0yL2GezneU?si=UoGFKLk0TIUgG2eb
Dr Lindsey also does a good job debunking this as a thing only women do, which seems relevant to this listicle's thesis ..
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As an almost-forty-year-old freshman in college, the worst Professor I’ve had so far did this excessively, and also had that rising tone at the end of most sentences making them sound like questions instead of statements. How some people get tenured, I’ll never know.
I had never heard that term. After googling it, I now know something new! Honestly, I'm surprised I never noticed it before. Considering I've never watched the Kardashians before (and never will), maybe it's not that surprising.
Do they think it makes them sound intelligent or sexy? Makes me want run far away.
I'm a metalhead and I immediately went to vocals and was like "what?!" Then I realised lmao
Also, hardcore sibilance. You're a grown adult - the baby lisping is obnoxious.
Tries to force beliefs, diets, etc onto others - i don’t give a damn what you believe in, what you will or won’t eat, whatever, but if you try to convince, guilt trip, etc your beliefs/systems onto me, or another person, i don’t trust that you’re a very good person.
I have a bunch of beliefs, values and been veggie for 20+ yrs and even I hate when people try and push s**t on others. These are my choices and I made them myself, you can't make them for others. I cook meat for my husband, I'll answer questions he has about my faith but always allow the topic to come up naturally and vice versa. You should never get together with someone with the intent to change them, choose them because they're right for you not because you can make them right for you.
If they never initiate.
I don’t mean sex. I mean if the only time we talk or get together is if *I* make the first move.
I get enough of that with my friends, and I hate feeling like I gotta micromanage my relationships because I’ll just be left behind again if I let someone else take the lead.
I would want to initiate but there is only so much rejection you can take before you start retreating back into yourself. Now I think it's best if I don't put myself out there because I don't want to have to build myself back up yet again.
The ones who think they need to cut down every other female they see. It's repulsive.
No, Karen. I didn't notice the top that woman was wearing until you pointed it out, but even now that I have, it's still not as tacky as the sewage you keep spewing from your mouth.
I'm confused. Does he mean he doesn't like Karen or he doesn't women criticising Karen?
Women that think it's cute to be a near non-functioning adult. My ex loved to rely on me/others for like everything, almost took pride in having no idea how to use public transport of find her way around.
The silent treatment. It’s passive aggressive, manipulative, whack b******t.
When a woman doesn’t hold herself to the same standard that she holds her man. Not to say that the roles and responsibilities of each party need to be exactly the same in any given relationship, but it’s the worst when a woman acts a certain way/has a certain attitude but gets upset when the man acts that way as well.
The mean mommy problem. Some women feel like they need to be your mom instead of your partner. But sometimes that's triggered by a guy acting like a child. Either way...it's horrible.
Rude and demeaning attitudes. Like aggressively rude or demeaning. That ends it for me.
Snarky comments and snide remarks about other people behind their backs. Always feeling superior to other people.
When they don’t know how to have a conversation unless it’s talking bad about someone.
No reciprocation of efforts.
u/AyybrahamLmaocoln:
If you don’t let me know in some way that you’re feeling me after I’ve made it clear I’m feeling you, then I stop pursuing. It happens a good amount, and a week later they’ll ask why I stopped trying to spend time with them.
We men are simple creatures. We don't like the "mind games" much. We like direct communication.
Note: this post originally had 62 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.
The way that some girls/women end every sentence with a question mark is annoying?
And the cutesie spelling that doesn't makeeeeee senseeeee phonetically. You even see it on BP. Drives me nuts.
Load More Replies... Treating me like a backup option. I went out with a girl one time, it did not go great for various reasons. It was over when she told me her dream was to get a job in a certain field, but on the other side of the country from me. I had already told her, before we even went on that date, that I wasn't looking to move out of my general area, because my last long term relationship ended precisely because she took a job on the other side of the country. So it ended, I, gently, let her know I wasn't interested in a second date. We parted ways. Then a few weeks later she reaches out to me again, wanting a second date, because she couldn't get her dream job, and all the other guys she had gone out with were losers. I said no. Because she wasn't asking me out because she wanted ME, she was asking me out because she couldn't get what she really wanted and so she'd settle for me. At least until something better came along.
After one date, she doesn't know you enough to choose you over a job. Since you were in the "let's see where this goes" phase, backup option is legit. The "change your life to choose me" should only come much later, after deep feelings are established.
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Enforcing hypermasculinity. If I want to watch a RomCom, then let me. If I want to take a bubble bath, so what? Maybe my favorite color is Purple. You’re most likely going to get more fulfillment out of your relationship if you let men be who they are and not try to stick your social stereotypes on them. Insecurity and shame is what breeds insincerity and secrecy.
My ex-husband used to occasionally like to take a bath with a beer and some chocolate. More power to him, I thought. (I get the remote for an hour!)
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I’d say that’s typical for these types of lists. Barring the usual stray opinion that winds up grossly generalizing a gender, I think most folks just don’t want to be in a relationship with an AH.
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i dont get the jealousy thing my bestie who is a woman gets jealous if we are out together and there is a nice looking woman i dont know why she gets jealous we aren't a couple just friends makes no sense to me
Are you sure she doesn't have feelings for you? I've got male friends and I'd never get jealous of them looking at or speaking to another woman. If anything, I'd encourage him to go for it if they are both single. I think you and your bestie need to talk because that is weird behavior for someone who is just a friend.
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I have to say that all of these entries are repulsive behaviour. This is why some women don't have female friends. If one is lucky, one finds a stable, enjoyable friend.
Something curious is that people can't keep reading to the end. The number of reactions is never higher than any of the previous ones, which means that people quit as the article goes on. Sad.
As a Portuguese woman, I found that going to the US and speaking with most girls my age was like going to the Movie Theater and watching a teen show... I'm 40yo already...
Gossip, I missed seeing Gossip Talk. I truly don't care what other people are doing or saying, especially if that person has nothing to do with my life.
Big turn-off: wearing clothes that over-emphasize her breasts, as if that's what she expects to make her attractive. Bonus antipoints if she's just itching for an excuse to use the phrase "I'm up here!".Personally, I like women who wear T-shirts, and not tight ones.
if periods are an ick to you then you shouldn't be dating women
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The way that some girls/women end every sentence with a question mark is annoying?
And the cutesie spelling that doesn't makeeeeee senseeeee phonetically. You even see it on BP. Drives me nuts.
Load More Replies... Treating me like a backup option. I went out with a girl one time, it did not go great for various reasons. It was over when she told me her dream was to get a job in a certain field, but on the other side of the country from me. I had already told her, before we even went on that date, that I wasn't looking to move out of my general area, because my last long term relationship ended precisely because she took a job on the other side of the country. So it ended, I, gently, let her know I wasn't interested in a second date. We parted ways. Then a few weeks later she reaches out to me again, wanting a second date, because she couldn't get her dream job, and all the other guys she had gone out with were losers. I said no. Because she wasn't asking me out because she wanted ME, she was asking me out because she couldn't get what she really wanted and so she'd settle for me. At least until something better came along.
After one date, she doesn't know you enough to choose you over a job. Since you were in the "let's see where this goes" phase, backup option is legit. The "change your life to choose me" should only come much later, after deep feelings are established.
Load More Replies... Enforcing hypermasculinity. If I want to watch a RomCom, then let me. If I want to take a bubble bath, so what? Maybe my favorite color is Purple. You’re most likely going to get more fulfillment out of your relationship if you let men be who they are and not try to stick your social stereotypes on them. Insecurity and shame is what breeds insincerity and secrecy.
My ex-husband used to occasionally like to take a bath with a beer and some chocolate. More power to him, I thought. (I get the remote for an hour!)
Load More Replies... I’d say that’s typical for these types of lists. Barring the usual stray opinion that winds up grossly generalizing a gender, I think most folks just don’t want to be in a relationship with an AH.
Load More Replies... i dont get the jealousy thing my bestie who is a woman gets jealous if we are out together and there is a nice looking woman i dont know why she gets jealous we aren't a couple just friends makes no sense to me
Are you sure she doesn't have feelings for you? I've got male friends and I'd never get jealous of them looking at or speaking to another woman. If anything, I'd encourage him to go for it if they are both single. I think you and your bestie need to talk because that is weird behavior for someone who is just a friend.
Load More Replies... I have to say that all of these entries are repulsive behaviour. This is why some women don't have female friends. If one is lucky, one finds a stable, enjoyable friend.
Something curious is that people can't keep reading to the end. The number of reactions is never higher than any of the previous ones, which means that people quit as the article goes on. Sad.
As a Portuguese woman, I found that going to the US and speaking with most girls my age was like going to the Movie Theater and watching a teen show... I'm 40yo already...
Gossip, I missed seeing Gossip Talk. I truly don't care what other people are doing or saying, especially if that person has nothing to do with my life.
Big turn-off: wearing clothes that over-emphasize her breasts, as if that's what she expects to make her attractive. Bonus antipoints if she's just itching for an excuse to use the phrase "I'm up here!".Personally, I like women who wear T-shirts, and not tight ones.
if periods are an ick to you then you shouldn't be dating women
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