Someone Asked Men To Open Up About The Last Time They Cried, 30 Gave Honest Answers
Crying is a healthy way to process your emotions, and it can have a range of emotional and physical benefits. It activates the parasympathetic nervous system, which, in turn, puts us in a “rest and digest” mode, helping our body relax after a time of stress. Crying releases oxytocin and endorphins, hormones that can soothe pain and lift our mood, helping us feel better.
Still, many find it difficult to do. Especially men. Yes, they have significantly lower levels of prolactin (another hormone, only this one is found in emotional tears) compared to women, but societal stereotypes and expectations discourage them from displaying emotional tears. However, suppressing your feelings can make it harder to cope with life and seek support.
In an attempt to encourage folks to open up, Redditor u/xeowa made a post on the platform, asking men when was the last time they cried and why. Luckily, many stepped up and shared their answers.
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Crying in my car right now.
My wife has cancer. It scares me to death. I have to be brave at home. My car has become my place to escape to cry and release my fear and sorrow
If you are in a similar situation please find a support group. As a cancer survivor I can say it is sometimes harder on the patient's family and there is no shame in seeking help.
When I had to put my cat to sleep in December. We had 18 years with her.
Last night sent my girlfriend the basic Good night message. She replied back with “I love you”. Sat there and started crying over the fact that she is the most important person in my life and that I'm so lucky that this woman loves me.
Last September.
There was a recent shooting here. While it was happening, my kids were getting texts on who it was and all of their internet postings.
His intentions were to shoot up their high school on the first day of class. He got impatient, and instead shot up our local grocery store a week before.
My daughter asked me if she could skip the first day of school. It was that moment that I realized our society had completely failed our children. We talked about it and she mentioned that everybody thinks it is pathetic that older people have completely given up on them.
That is when I realized that they are just as intelligent as we are...and they realize that all of us adults are "Pathetic". We just let people kill them and they recognize that.
A couple of years ago I had a dream about my mom. I was just talking, catching up, then I remembered she passed away. I just hugged her and started crying, yelling 'I miss you!' She hugged me back and said 'I miss you too.'
Then I woke up and cried for 30 minutes.
The same thing happened to me las month, same situation same words. It's been a year, love you mom.
January 4th. On January 1st, I got a message from my dad that the family dog had a stroke and passed away in the front yard.
During the time before I stood at his grave just before I left to head back to my home, I just didn’t cry, I was questioning why I wasn’t.
Then standing at his grave, just a rush of emotions came in and just sobbed my heart out, then got in the car with my girlfriend and had to drive home.
His name was Snitchel and he was a good 14 year old pupper.
I’m 21, so he was a part of my life for about 70% of it. Was hard to say goodbye, especially because I wasn’t able to see him on Christmas because I got Covid, and I didn’t get to see him open his Christmas gifts like he usually does, during Christmas and in general during his final days.
i'm so sorry. losing a dog is one of the hardest things in the world.
Two weeks ago. When it really hit me how much I let my managers abuse me. I quit a few days later and I start my new job on the 27th.
December last year, my wife shared with me that we are pregnant.
It’s something we have both wanted for such a long time, when she showed me the test I was so happy I just burst into tears right in front of her.
3 weeks ago. My best friend took his own life and left behind his wife and 2 kids.
In Christmas of 2021 my dad’s best friend took his own life, probably due to the isolation of the pandemic and that was the first time I had seen my dad cry. Suicide is awful and sadly seems to be the escape from life. Especially in men.
May 2021. My wife had a cerebral stroke. I thought that I will lose her, by death or by being a vegetable/incapable of communication.
I felt like a log at the sea, purposeless, aimless. We have a daughter and I knew that I should remain strong for her, but my wife give me purpose... Without her, I'm incomplete. I'm less.
Just for God's grace she survived with almost no side effects.
I’m so happy for you that everything worked out for the better! I would be scared to death if I lost my mom like that.
Today, I am freshly 18, homeless, 0 contact with my family and in deep s**t :)
OMG, I hope you find a place to live immediately. I hope you have friends that can support you. I hope your luck starts to turn. I wish you ALL the best! <3 <3 <3
Few weeks ago. Friend died. Cried myself to sleep for a few nights.
Tonight. My best friend told me that I don't make her happy, and that she doesn't want me in her life anymore.
I'm in love with her.
Despite the username, I'm a man, not a lesbian.
5 minutes ago, my dad died of cancer recently.
I feel you, OP. Cancer sucks so hard, there are no words for it. Lost my Dad to it almost 4 years ago, and there have been many tears because of it.
At the hospital with my 2 year old daughter. She just had a seizure in the waiting room. I felt so lost and useless...
But it cut the wait time down to seconds!
As someone who cares for a person with medicine resistant Epliepsy. It's ok to feel helpless you stand there thinking I wish I could fix this, but it's an electrical storm inside their brain. Go to every Dr appt ask the questions even if they seem dumb. Keep a notebook record of the seizures to show the Dr. Be diligent about them taking their meds & don't make a big deal of the seizures. The thing I learned from taking care of my husband is just be the face they see when they come to. They need reassurance they are ok. We have been through a fractured spine from a bad seizure, teeth knocked out , multiple head injuires etc but the one constant is he knows I will be there at every Dr appt & when he wakes up I will sit with him
Earlier today. Reading a story about a 6 year old kid that was gunned down by his s**t step-father.
His gap-toothed smile in the photo set me off. I cannot comprehend the capacity to harm children like that.
I don't remember. I feel so sad and lonely sometimes but I still can't cry. I wish I could cry like a kid again.
Hey man, let me tell you, it's been a while since I last cried. But, that's not because I'm trying to be tough or anything. I just haven't been in a situation where I felt like crying. I think it's important for guys to recognize that it's okay to cry and show emotions. The last time I cried was when my grandpa passed away a few years ago. It was really tough to say goodbye to him and I couldn't hold back the tears. It felt good to let it all out though, and I think it helped me to process my emotions and come to terms with his passing. So, guys, don't be afraid to cry when you need to. It's a sign of strength, not weakness.
Well said - several of these posts are variations on the theme of "being brave/strong," which is really just a way of saying "do not show emotion." It's not healthy. I increasingly think that it is important for adult men to have adult male friendships that allow for openness and vulnerability, and for men to support each other. Some men rely only on their girlfriend/wife for emotional support and it can be too much for one person to bear.
My wife died.
Stupid Onion ninjas... these posts are so sad. Why is this world so effing terrible?!
December 9th, my twin brother (26) passed away.
I have a cat, one day he got sick and when the vet checked on him he said he needed to go to surgery right away, the chances of survival were low. Came back home that day bawling my eyes out thinking it was all over, he was so happy and normal one day and the next he was at risk of dying. Luckily the two surgeries went great and he survived.
I've been posting this a lot lately: several weeks ago my former best friend and neighbor either broke into my house or had someone else do it for him and stole money from me. When I confronted him about this he physically assaulted me. The punches and the throwing me into the hedges cracking my ribs didn't make me cry, I took it, but later on when I realized he was in only using me and our friendship was completely a sham and was permanently severed is when I broke down.
I still haven't gotten over it. My ribs are finally healed and the bruises are gone (I do have a nasty scar on my eyebrow though that might never go away), but even today I still feel sad over losing what I thought was a good friend.
no dont get even be a man and walk away from it...thats terrible that happened to you, im so sorry
Recently, some cats on Reddit are just that damn cute.
Last night, a picture of me and my buddy who took his life couple years popped up.
A few months ago as I picked my dog up from the side of the highway. She was a prolific digger and liked to wander.
i'm guessing from the past tense that it didn't work out well :(
3 years ago...
At my father's funeral.
My husband and I have been together for 23 years. I had never before seen my husband shed a tear or heard that emotional voice crackle until the day of his mom's funeral. The moment his eyes welled up, myself and our five children lost it. It was such a heartbreaking moment to see him so fragile and lost. This was a piece of him that none of us had ever seen before. My MIL was an absolute angel of a woman and the extraordinary bond they shared showed that day.
About 2 years ago, was dealing with a lot of work an personal s**t, was at my limit of s**t I can handle. I get a phone call that a childhood friend that I've known since we were 4 died in a car accident.
Oh no. I’m so sorry that happened, and I hope things got better for you over the last 2 years.
Few days ago. Every time I watch the tiktoks of my teen daughter growing up. I mean grown a*s man slobbering ugly crying. She’s my baby.
My friend died drunk driving and I cried a little bit. But then like 2 weeks later we were watching Leverage and this old lady was trying to save frogs and the tech girl was like, 'this isn't why we're here but I got this'. And the way she said it made me just start baling over my friend who died.
Last week. Just really struggling to get good rest. I was barely getting 4 hours a night and I was just feeling all the anxiety, hurt and stuff I've been carrying for a while now. I felt extremely alone, used and just absolutely manipulated and just useless. It's those dark nights where you feel like you could just disappear and no one would notice.
The birth of my son and daughter!
Hey, this is a happy one! I’m glad that you cried tears of joy. It’s nice to see happy posts sprinkled in here amidst the sorrow.
About two weeks ago when my SO was diagnosed with an incurable disease, it's not terminal but it's still a gut punch.
I'm the one with the chronic illness but I think it's harder for those who love me, they can't do anything to take away the pain and have to watch as I suffer. I think my mum and daughter have it the hardest.
I was laying on the couch staring at the ceiling and my eye teared up from being open too long, and I was like "I forget how this feels", so I let em keep going, wasn't sobbing but multiple tears running down, felt good.
i'm not emotional person but when i saw my neighbors cat from 2 doors down wait for me when i got home for work after not seeing him for 2 days, i started leaking...been told that i was crying lol
Everyone seems to be posting serious stuff, but actually the last I cried was a few weeks ago when I watched ep. 3 of The Last Of Us
Visited my long distance girlfriend a couple weeks back. Those last days are always the hardest. Said goodbye to her, came back to my hotel room and wept. I’ll be flying to see her again soon enough though, it’s all just part of being long distance (for now).
Husband and I were long distanced, so I feel you entirely! We'd be at the airport in tears because we never really knew when we'd get to see each other again. We've been married for nearly 9 years now and are happy to say we don't have to go through that again. Keep strong!
The very last time I cried feels like a stupid reason so I'll not specify that, but prior to that I had cried back in september at the passing of my aunt. She had stage 4 cancer and I was unable to contact her or talk to her or even go up on an emergency trip to go see her before she passed when everyone else in the house had at least gotten that chance. She was the greatest person and it stings to this day that I couldn't get a chance to say goodbye.
Crying isn't stupid. Also, I'm so sorry about your loss. She sounded like a good lady
About a month ago. My mom was diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer.
I cried in my car on Wednesday. I feel like I'm under so much stress already, and dealing with grief is definitely not helping. I called my aunt and she invited me to her house and gave me some soup and I calmed down. Everything still feels kinda scary though.
Cried today watching a Hawaiian dude audition talk about his dad who passed away a few months ago and all three judges were chocked up. He sang a James Blunt song about a father and son and it was so powerful and deep.
he's awesome. my mom and i have been watching all of his songs.
Today.
My grandson went off to Air Force basic training, and I fell apart a few hours later when it really sunk in. My wife and I were very heavily involved in raising him and his sister, and I deliberately tried to steer him in the direction of my interests, aviation being one of them. We'll see him in a couple of months when he graduates, but man, it's hard to watch them drive away knowing that this chapter is over.
Last night… I heard “Follow You To Virgie” by Tyler Childers for the first time and memories of my mom hit me like a freight train.
She’s been gone for 28 years now but when you least expect it the water works can come out of nowhere.
Felt good if I’m honest.
Recent breakup. Everything was going great and then one day she just said she wasn't attracted to me. Really hurts one's self-image.
Had a panic attack on the freeway two weeks ago the day after my girlfriend dumped me. That involved a lot of anxiety tears.
Sunday. I was lonely.
In September when I was dealing with the loss of my mom and my sister. Overcoming the grief has strengthened me beyond what I thought possible. I've taken the pain and used it for productive means and it's really changed me.
Last week. When returning from a super bowl party, my wife and I talked about our friends coming over soon. Not sure why, but I started tearing up thinking about our friend that passed away the week after my son was born. She was so full of life and energy, as my son is also. Just sad that they don't get to meet in this life to fully smile from one another.
Last year, when I was reading the mistborn series. One of my favourite characters died and he had a great personality.
January 2022, I was depressed for a very long time (2008 until beginning of last year. I didn’t realise I was depressed). It got much worse the last year due to relationship/friendship stuff and decided to deal with it. Went to therapy for two sessions thinking the reason was the relationship stuff. I stopped going to the sessions when I realised that I basically had tonnes of suppressed emotions from bullying, getting beat up, harassment and exclusion from people that I thought were my friends while growing up. So I went from not crying for more than a decade to twice per week for a few months. Haven’t cried since.
I have had a few recently. Each time holding my infant daughter who is napping on me. I keep making the mistake of watching The Last Of Us during these times... Hits soooo much harder as a parent.
Today, thinking about someone who no longer is in my life and how i wish things could have been different.
The day my wife took my son away from me and moved out. 2002.
The end of Marley and Me, reminded me of my doggo, had to put him down at 6 years old due to aggressive cancer :(
A month ago when speaking about the possibility of having to do a long-distance relationship if I get sent to a different state for residency after medical school.
I did LDR with my last girlfriend for three years and have a lot of trauma from it. I swore I’d never do it again. Now I’m in love with someone new and am working on breaking down barriers that I’ve put up to protect myself. I think during the conversation it all came crashing down emotionally.
Last night.
Talked to my girlfriend, now ex, about all the great moments that we had.
Now it's time to move on and get used to a feeling of emptiness, I guess.
Probably a couple years ago when I last rewatched The Martian. The drive across the dunes at the end with the music in the background always gets me.
Few weeks ago when I decided to watch the video of Happier by Marshmellow.
The Rick Roll episode of Ted Lasso, and episode 5 of Shrinking (Potatoes)… and I’m pretty sure I cried a bit watching every episode of TLOU so far… idk man, media really gets to me sometimes.
Last night. I miss my ex-wife.
I'm on my 3rd marriage and I missed my 2nd wife badly even though it was a toxic relationship on both our parts. I never thought I'd meet anyone again. Then, one night on Valentines Day about 15+ years ago, a co-worker invited me out so I wasn't just sitting at home alone. I had just texted my ex about how much I missed her and she said "no you don't" and then a beautiful woman sat down at our table and asked me who I was texting. She is now my 3rd wife. We have been together since then. It WILL happen, and it WILL happen like it did to me, when you least expect it.
I last cried probably a few months ago thinking about school. I was in a bad spot with procrastination.
Last night, watching the last few episodes of Derry Girls. Such a wonderfully told story. Plenty of laughing and crying, stellar show.
I cried of Arthur Morgan’s death.
wheresaldopa replied:
There ain’t much that can make me cry, but Arthur’s last ride and the soundtrack that goes with that scene completely wrecks me every time.
How do these people go years without crying? I cried just this morning because it's my last day of school. So many damn memories crammed into one room got me choked up.
it's also my last day of school
Load More Replies...
A few days after my first boyfriend broke up with me. He came out as aromantic and since I'm hopeless in general I was absolutely crushed. I'm very stupid so I had thought it was a forever thing (everyone does when they fall in love for the first time I think) and i was having mental breakdowns every night blaming myself for f*****g up something perfect. It's been a bit and I still miss him, but we're staying friends and I'm more mentally alright now. I can definitely see why he broke up with me tho I'm overwhelming even for me. That was the first time I cried in like three years tho (not counting the time I tore my arm open and was awake for the stitches cause I barely cried then)
Hey if he's aromantic he didn't break up because you're 'overwhelming', he broke up with you because he realized who he is, and that true self isn't one that romantically dates people. Don't put yourself down because of this, I know it's hard but you will find someone someday. <3
Load More Replies... On Monday, my Mom and I went to see Hans Zimmer live in concert. At the very end, there was a medley of Lion King songs, and the tears came. No sobbing, but just tears, both of happiness and sadness, all these emotions I felt due to the music. Aside from that, I've been high-strung for years now, so tears of frustration and/or rage are not too uncommon with me. And of course, missing my Dad (passed in 2019), and when I get scared of losing my Mom, who is my only anchor.
a few years ago now i proper cried when my mum had a heart attack she was in hospital i called work the next day to tell them as didnt feel up to working when my manager came on the phone i got as far as saying my mum had a heart and i just broke down luckly she is ok now she has heart issues but has medication and has taken steps to improve her health
I was watching that scene in Godzilla vs Destoroyah where he melts away and it always gets me.
When one of my students died after a long and agonizing battle with brain cancer. A battle she knew from the beginning that she could not win.
Honestly, around 11:30AM today. I was re-reading my favorite Terry Pratchett novel, Reaper Man. The ending gets me every time.
Both my parents died some years ago and I miss them both, but my dad more so. I have so much I want to tell him. How proud I am of my children and grandchildren, how much technology has moved on, etc. I can't speak about him - even now - without choking up.
Can't cry in front of anyone. It's a culture thing. In my culture man has to be tough. So there, don't remember the last time I cried.
So many cultures are like that with men. I'm sorry. :( I'm going to venture to guess that you're Indian though?
Load More Replies... A lot of movies. I have to try to watch action or comedy movies only to avoid feeling connected to the characters. Anything that's "drama" ... no thanks. Don't want to feel. Other than that - when my dad was on his deathbed... when my favourite aunt died... when I had to give away a dog... when pets have died... every time I've been dumped by a partner... a LOT of sorrow in this world, but the joy outweighs it.
Everyday. Being regularly reminded that I mean nothing to the few people that mean the most to me is rough. Pretty sure my mom and dog are the only living things interested in my existence.
Not me. My 3rd brother. He couldn't stop crying when we put our mother's urn into the earth. He was shaken for several days. She was 84, he was 62. He was actually the only one - out of 5 - attached to our mother. She always told all of us that were an accident, so don't blame me for not crying.
I've cried a number of times over the years, but the last time I really came apart at the seams was after my 35-year-old fiancee died of a high blood pressure induced heart attack a week after we talked about getting married. At her funeral (on February 14th), I heard "Homesick," by Mercy Me, and it was like it was written for us. 🎶 You're in a better place, I've heard a thousand times, and at least a thousand times I've rejoiced for you, but the reason why I'm broken, the reason why I cry is how long must I wait to be with you? 🎶
I have a video of my husband opening presents on his birthday, four months before he died. And we didn't have much money, but my son and I picked out some helpful and/or cute kitchen gadgets and wrapped them up. His favorite? Stupid little hors d'oeuvre tongs that end with little hands that grasp the food. And in the video, he's crying, and clapping these teeny little tongs like they're the greatest gift he's ever gotten. I always loved that he let his emotions out like that.
I last cried after watching a video on facebook of an interview with a drag queen and his boyfriend and how they med and how they deal with hardships. It was a raw and honest interview. The drag queen was a big guy and looked fabulous in drag but out of it, he was kind of more timid. He reminded me so much of a friend who was killed in January in a car crash in San Francisco and I just bawled my eyes out. His sense of humour, his sharp, acerbic tongue, his love of performing all just reminded me of my friend and I just lost it.
a month ago i think listening to beautiful pain by alec benjamin made me remember when my grandpa died, i never really knew him well so it didnt really affect me when he passed i have no idea why but that one song made me cry about it all
Yesterday when I saw this: https://www.tiktok.com/@wrabelofficial/video/7236916177845357866
How do these people go years without crying? I cried just this morning because it's my last day of school. So many damn memories crammed into one room got me choked up.
it's also my last day of school
Load More Replies... A few days after my first boyfriend broke up with me. He came out as aromantic and since I'm hopeless in general I was absolutely crushed. I'm very stupid so I had thought it was a forever thing (everyone does when they fall in love for the first time I think) and i was having mental breakdowns every night blaming myself for f*****g up something perfect. It's been a bit and I still miss him, but we're staying friends and I'm more mentally alright now. I can definitely see why he broke up with me tho I'm overwhelming even for me. That was the first time I cried in like three years tho (not counting the time I tore my arm open and was awake for the stitches cause I barely cried then)
Hey if he's aromantic he didn't break up because you're 'overwhelming', he broke up with you because he realized who he is, and that true self isn't one that romantically dates people. Don't put yourself down because of this, I know it's hard but you will find someone someday. <3
Load More Replies... On Monday, my Mom and I went to see Hans Zimmer live in concert. At the very end, there was a medley of Lion King songs, and the tears came. No sobbing, but just tears, both of happiness and sadness, all these emotions I felt due to the music. Aside from that, I've been high-strung for years now, so tears of frustration and/or rage are not too uncommon with me. And of course, missing my Dad (passed in 2019), and when I get scared of losing my Mom, who is my only anchor.
a few years ago now i proper cried when my mum had a heart attack she was in hospital i called work the next day to tell them as didnt feel up to working when my manager came on the phone i got as far as saying my mum had a heart and i just broke down luckly she is ok now she has heart issues but has medication and has taken steps to improve her health
I was watching that scene in Godzilla vs Destoroyah where he melts away and it always gets me.
When one of my students died after a long and agonizing battle with brain cancer. A battle she knew from the beginning that she could not win.
Honestly, around 11:30AM today. I was re-reading my favorite Terry Pratchett novel, Reaper Man. The ending gets me every time.
Both my parents died some years ago and I miss them both, but my dad more so. I have so much I want to tell him. How proud I am of my children and grandchildren, how much technology has moved on, etc. I can't speak about him - even now - without choking up.
Can't cry in front of anyone. It's a culture thing. In my culture man has to be tough. So there, don't remember the last time I cried.
So many cultures are like that with men. I'm sorry. :( I'm going to venture to guess that you're Indian though?
Load More Replies... A lot of movies. I have to try to watch action or comedy movies only to avoid feeling connected to the characters. Anything that's "drama" ... no thanks. Don't want to feel. Other than that - when my dad was on his deathbed... when my favourite aunt died... when I had to give away a dog... when pets have died... every time I've been dumped by a partner... a LOT of sorrow in this world, but the joy outweighs it.
Everyday. Being regularly reminded that I mean nothing to the few people that mean the most to me is rough. Pretty sure my mom and dog are the only living things interested in my existence.
Not me. My 3rd brother. He couldn't stop crying when we put our mother's urn into the earth. He was shaken for several days. She was 84, he was 62. He was actually the only one - out of 5 - attached to our mother. She always told all of us that were an accident, so don't blame me for not crying.
I've cried a number of times over the years, but the last time I really came apart at the seams was after my 35-year-old fiancee died of a high blood pressure induced heart attack a week after we talked about getting married. At her funeral (on February 14th), I heard "Homesick," by Mercy Me, and it was like it was written for us. 🎶 You're in a better place, I've heard a thousand times, and at least a thousand times I've rejoiced for you, but the reason why I'm broken, the reason why I cry is how long must I wait to be with you? 🎶
I have a video of my husband opening presents on his birthday, four months before he died. And we didn't have much money, but my son and I picked out some helpful and/or cute kitchen gadgets and wrapped them up. His favorite? Stupid little hors d'oeuvre tongs that end with little hands that grasp the food. And in the video, he's crying, and clapping these teeny little tongs like they're the greatest gift he's ever gotten. I always loved that he let his emotions out like that.
I last cried after watching a video on facebook of an interview with a drag queen and his boyfriend and how they med and how they deal with hardships. It was a raw and honest interview. The drag queen was a big guy and looked fabulous in drag but out of it, he was kind of more timid. He reminded me so much of a friend who was killed in January in a car crash in San Francisco and I just bawled my eyes out. His sense of humour, his sharp, acerbic tongue, his love of performing all just reminded me of my friend and I just lost it.
a month ago i think listening to beautiful pain by alec benjamin made me remember when my grandpa died, i never really knew him well so it didnt really affect me when he passed i have no idea why but that one song made me cry about it all
Yesterday when I saw this: https://www.tiktok.com/@wrabelofficial/video/7236916177845357866
