“History For The Witty”: 50 Of The Funniest And Most Accurate Memes That History Geeks Might Appreciate
Do you consider yourself a history buff? Are you widely regarded among peers as a wiz by whipping out intriguing facts about the past? Well, then you’re in luck! Because diving headfirst into events that happened centuries ago and learning about the influential people that are long gone is an adventure in itself. But when it’s combined with a great sense of humor — you know you’re in for a treat.
So allow us to introduce you to one entertaining corner on Facebook called 'History for the Witty'. This social media project is dedicated to cracking jokes, memes, and witty banter about the good old days. Home to nearly 130k followers, it aims to show that adding a little fun to historical tidbits results in exceptionally hilarious combinations, and they deliver proof.
To show you what we mean, our history-loving team here at Bored Panda has gathered some of the best posts from the account. So continue scrolling, upvote your favorite memes and be sure to tell us which ones you loved the most and why. And since we can’t get enough of this subject and the amusing jokes about it, be sure to check out our earlier posts filled to the brim with history memes here and right here.
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Oh no my great great great grandson is not going along with the ceremony. Rolls over in grave. I never
Load More Replies...Whenever ‘tradition’ is given as a reason for doing something it should be questioned. So often tradition keeps people ‘in their place’ or is used to actually harm people. Foot binding, female genital mutilation, even keeping a group of people from joining clubs and groups.
Not always. Respecting and being kind to others should always be a tradition.
I’m genetically designed to live in a peat hut in a place that gets 200 days of rain a year.
Easy tip: Cutting down on carbs helps. Try eating more dark green veggies like spinach, kale, or all sorts of cabbage, rutabaga, broccoli, brussel sprouts instead of a mountain of potatoes, fries, pasta, rice whatever, and cut down on sandwiches also. And remember: you don't get fat by eating fat just as little as you become green because eating a cucumber. =)
As slavery was present until the last few generations, most of the world does not have the habit of eating tummy full in their genetics. Hence people like me cant seem to lose weight.
So, I tend to read things in my head and this is no exception. How would one pronounce the word dinnae?
And bridges. Nero's Bridge has been under water for millenia, and is still partially standing (recently exposed thanks to drought)
Our roads would last 2,000 year, too, if we didn't run 20,000 lb trucks over them, rather than wooden horse-drawn carts. ;)
I invite you to google map Centralia, Pennsylvania
Load More Replies...Who says history has to be dull? Definitely not the Facebook page in question. It has been capturing the imaginations of its followers for quite some time now by sharing their knowledge with a healthy dose of comedy mixed in. Ever since the 'History for the Witty' social media project was created, it has become the perfect outlet for anyone who likes to have a good laugh and has a soft spot for old books, dusty manuscripts, and events surrounding our past.
You can already tell the creator of this page likes to have fun from the description alone. "You may safely rebel here — just remember you catch more flies with honey…Wait, why do I want flies? Nevermind… Post your banter here," they wrote.
I'd have said that if someone hadn't beaten me to it.
Load More Replies...Isn't there a theory now that "the thinker" is actually having a poo? Bang on Robin!
I have bookends of The Thinker. My grandson (about 3 at the time) said that it was Grandpa on the potty.
If we fail to study the atrocities of history, and the ideas that caused them, they can easily be repeated when those old ideas come back to the surface.
Like... purchasing goods almost exclusively made in China by slave labor.
Load More Replies...If you can’t look at your history and find things to be proud of, that’s a shame for you. If you can’t look at your history and find things to be ashamed of, you probably aren’t looking hard enough. But to say someone can’t be proud of their history because of some bad things in their past is asinine.
Read it again. It didn’t say that nothing in the past should ever make you proud. It says there’s a problem if, when studying history, it *always* makes you feel proud.
Load More Replies...I had to research Irish history for a book I was writing. I was both angry and sad
Studying (and teaching) history makes me happy because it's hard. It's never easy or pleasant, but it is an eye-opener. I feel angry, sad, torn, depressed, but history is how we became us. I'm frequently ashamed, but I know it's important not to lose our past to better our futures. (Mind you, some people really get way too proud for my taste.)
I went through all the stages of grief while finding a few very-worn silver coins on a beach in Spain. I was giddy to find them, then realized that they may have been on a ship that sank with the sailors on board, I felt sad for their hopes/dreams/families, and a friend had to tell me that the statute of limitations had expired on them as I was noticeably getting sadder and sadder.
Excellent. Studying history should be enlightening, too often it’s just enforcing some misplaced nationalism.
Listen, the history stays in place but the cat may leave, so the cat will be first.
I do it all the time, go to fantastic places of history, take pictures of said historical place, and then find a cat and photograph that too.
That's my wife! (figuratively, not really). Truly, we have been in 2000+ yr. Roman ruins and she's chasing cats with her phone.
We visited San Juan and about half my photos are of the cats.
Load More Replies...By using historical background to fuel their jokes, the page makes sure that anyone who ever mistakenly deemed history as a boring subject would change their mind. And what better medium to convey this message than in tightly-packaged chunks of information we refer to as memes?
Online communities like this one that present facts in a witty way spark a desire to learn more. By featuring events that happened years ago, they also provide space to learn how past societies and cultures were built, and how they operated and changed over time. As we fill our heads with knowledge, look up the facts we may have not realized before (and feel entertained by sharing laughs along the way) — we better understand the present.
With a name like Benedict, I would've assumed his family would be more well read. I mean, Benedict was a character in Shakespeare's, Much Ado About Nothing. 🤔
Load More Replies...30 years ago I was talking to a college student who was majoring in European history. She mentioned her daughter, Brittany, and I said, “You named your daughter Brittany? The Gaul!” As you can tell, I’m still proud of that one.
Haha this is so funny and clever haha I totally understand this joke because if I didn’t understand then the internet would be mad at me, so it’s a good thing I do understand haha
I have a creeping feeling that you do in fact not understand the joke. It's ok I don't understand it either
Load More Replies...Surely after stabbing him 23 times, the need for causing more wounds was moderate.
It was symbolic and meant to spread responsibility. No one person could take credit or be blamed for killing Caesar because you can't know which of the stab wounds was the truly fatal one. No one could use it for political gain because it was "We" not "I" saved the Republic. On the other end, no one could say they didn't kill Caesar if things turned out poorly politically. The second one happened as the liberator civil war broke out and Marc Antony, Octavius (AKA Augustus) and friends hunted them down.
Load More Replies......and on the topic of cats in the above post (at the time of writing this), that location where Julius Caesar was stabbed is now a cat sanctuary!
The 60 people are equipped with their own knives or use a knife in turn?
Sounds like a meal... "Hi, I'll have the chicken marsala please with a Ceasar salad"
Load More Replies...How about the ones that make you see pink talking cows? Asking for a friend :p
LFMF: While in college I ate some "magic mushrooms" and then watched the movie TRON. Big mistake!
"Let's call it a death cap!" said someone after what happened to Brian. "OK, now let's eat it!" said someone else, who died within 72 hours of that decision.
I've allways thought about who and how they figured out rhat some mushrooms need to be cooked twice, some once, some you can eat raw and some you need to steam not cook. Trial and error? But how desperate are you to cook something three times?
Very desperate. Why else would you find out that those nasty spiky dry seeds of grass make cake
Load More Replies...I always think about this with different foods. Specially seafood. Who was the first person that saw a lobster and thought "Yes, I bet the giant ocean cockroach tastes delicious"
Previously, we reached out to Darren R. Reid, Ph.D., a lecturer in history at Coventry University, to learn more about this subject and our desire to devour it through memes. According to him, entertaining pictures and jokes can be used in teaching because they are a great way of communicating complex ideas in a really fun and accessible way.
"They can be very clever and I think students really appreciate using memes to help them to connect to the topics they’re studying," Reid told Bored Panda.
Looking at the tens of thousands of people who can’t wait for the next post to grace their feeds, it’s easy to grasp why history-related memes have seen explosive growth in the last few years. When asked why we enjoy encountering them online, the lecturer said, "When they’re good, they are intelligent, witty, and fun. They also help people easily understand (and remember!) important events or ideas."
I found a 50-year-old penny on the road to school, is a better movie then Indian Jones and the Crystal Skull.
Load More Replies...BOOM! you win. And you're clearly correct. Plagues, killer hornets. Yup she's pissed.
Load More Replies...Some random company on its way to start a cursed apocalypses from a stole artifact
If you don't think the worst can get worse, you lack imagination, and/or experience.
Load More Replies...Witty joke, but "I's"??? "I's"!!! My eyes! My ears! My new year's resolution not to be an online grammar nazi! All destroyed in in one tweet!
Am I the only one hung up on the use of I's? I hate when people use this! 😵💫😵💫😵💫
I'm not sure it's any worse than "myself" all over the place - although to be fair, Dickens makes that mistake more often than one would wish.
Load More Replies...My wife and my friend - ( hate to be that person, but this one bugged me)
And there is a tiny bit of paper lodged somewhere in the nether regions of the machine that can you as hell find.
There's actually no paper jam, but you must disassemble and reassemble the press completely to resume printing.
Load More Replies...Gutenberg didn’t invent the printing press. The Chinese and Koreans were printing with moveable type hundreds of years before that. We’re too Eurocentric (even if the US doesn’t realise it), even Australia where I’m from (I have no Asian heritage).
The printing press was inverted by the Chinese around 1040 despite eurocentric back patting.
Oh, so true. Reminds me, I need to skip a few meals to afford that ink cartridge....
No wait, it's cyan, no yellow, no black, I don't know!
But the dire reality is that many students, in fact, feel largely indifferent toward the subject and social studies in general. What’s more, the number of college history majors has been steadily declining in the past few decades. As reported by the Perspectives on History newsmagazine, the numbers are grim.
"History has a majors problem," Robert B. Townsend, program director at the American Academy of Arts & Sciences, wrote. "The number of students earning degrees in the field fell precipitously after the Great Recession of 2008, and while the decline became a bit more gradual before the pandemic (especially when including double majors), it has continued to slip."
According to the report, the annual number of history bachelor’s degrees fell by more than a third from 2012. However, lecturer Reid believes the subject is far from losing its significance in the eyes of the public, as well as the academic world. In fact, "History is one of the most enduring and popular subjects."
I loved the Egyptian tourist board commercial in n 1999, "visit us for our seventh millennium"!!!
Load More Replies...Getting the stone from Wales was the main issue but they didn't have as many slaves as the Egyptians had.
Slaves didn't build the pyramids. They were built by paid workers during the annual Nile inundation when a considerable portion of the population had their farms under water. They were basically giant public works projects to keep people out of trouble, fed and housed during the flooding that fertilised farmlands.
Load More Replies...Shouldn't have shown her the one from "This is Spinal Tap." stonehenge...479005.jpg
It is a dead language, but if Americans could speak their nation's 1776 Latin motto, "E pluribus Unum" (on all US coins) -- and if they knew it meant, "Out Of Many, One" -- then maybe they could save their country from the disaster its heading towards. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . By knowing and speaking this Latin phrase, it might occur to enough American's that the foundation of USA/democracy is COMPROMISE and they could save what the founding fathers built, instead of reverting to authoritarianism. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Maybe for this generation the motto should be updated to, "Live And Let Live" (Et Vivere, Reservate) -- which has the same meaning. This requires setting aside strongly held beliefs (as the 'founding fathers' did) for the sake of unity, instead of trying to bully and "win". . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . https://thehill.com/homenews/campaign/3610753-threats-to-democracy-top-list-of-issues-facing-us-poll/
Ooooor, vital foundational ideas may be expressed in a common language that masses can actually understand)
Load More Replies...If this is a joke, let please let us know. I'm really really hoping it's a joke.....
Load More Replies...Been there, done that! I had a job interview almost 15 years ago and was also asked why I was not fluent in Latin since it was my first foreign language to learn.
yeah, not a lot of chances to use it, so you lose it. As I recall, all the Latin sentences we learned featured Queen Boadicea, spears, arrows and storming the citadel. Not much call these days...
Load More Replies...Clever photos. As a Brit I’m bound to say that you could probably substitute the word British for other colonial powers, but happy to be proved wrong 😊
Without trying to sound mean, please name one other museum where the contents are 100% foreign, yet are somehow still named after the country it's in.
Load More Replies..."Practically everyone, at some point in their life, will set out to learn something about the past," he continued. "History memes let us explore that enthusiasm in a new way, connecting with a broader and younger audience."
"If someone doesn’t love history yet, they probably haven’t learned about the area and period that will capture their imagination. Memes are a great way to tell stories in a really accessible way — and they help people to learn about compelling chapters of the past that they didn’t even know existed."
What strangeness you speak of; I simply read it in my normal voice.
Load More Replies...You plebs. I heard it in Stephen Fry's mellifluous tones, because he is truly a British treasure.
I pictured a gentleman with the appearance of or one similar to Fitzwilliam Darcy!
Load More Replies...I came here to say the same :).... World is a poorer place without Sir Terry
Load More Replies...The other two are: "may you get what you wish for" and "may you be recognized by people in high places."
For the last two years my family has been marking in every holiday and birthday card "may this next year be boring and uneventful" lol
If you’re on the fence about pursuing history in the first place, studying the little details surrounding a specific era or event deepens our knowledge and understanding of why things happened the way they did. It can quickly change our perspective, accelerate our critical thinking, and even help us come up with brand new ideas.
"[History] teaches you how to investigate complex, world-shaping events," Reid added. "It teaches you how to systematically find and analyze evidence. It teaches you how to communicate your ideas. At Coventry University, our students even learn how to make documentaries."
When birth control was illegal and women were literally jailed for trying to get it.
And a lot of women probably didn't have much of a choice on whether they wanted to participate.
Load More Replies...My grandmother who was born in 1902 told me once for a family history paper I was doing that she and my grandfather had sex six times and had seven children (My dad is a twin.). She said she would take her clothes off and get in the bed with the lights off. My grandfather would come into the bedroom and remove his clothes; then, they would do their "business." He would get dressed, turn the lights back on, and leave the room. She would then get up and do the same. Doesn't it sound so...fun? Dang!
My granmother born in 1908 said pretty much the same thing. “Every time we wanted another one he lifted his nightgown, I lifted my nightgown and 9 months later we had a kid.” All in complete darkness of course, they have never seen each other naked.
Load More Replies...I like how the husband is looking at his wife like "how did this happen?"
All their ages are one after the other. She was pregnant for like 15 years straight
Yes how shocking that women raised in an era where marital rape was legal and birth control illegal might not be super pro sex.
My great-grandma: "Every0one thinks of sex all the time in America!" She had 13 kids. She wasn't thinking of abstinence in the old country!
A doctor friend had a patient with 5 children but was Catholic so he tried to explain the rhythm method, and asked her when was her last period. She said, before I got married
Load More Replies...My abuela was the youngest of 8-10 and abuelo oldest of 13-14 Also during the Franco dictatorship, having numerous children was encouraged you ended up getting alot of food coupons/discounts
I love how you’re unsure of how many siblings they each had. 😂 My grandparents were the same way; I just say they were each one of 10-12 siblings.
Load More Replies...You gotta admit the straightwashing is pretty flippin hilarious. Historians will literally read an extremely explicit poem about a woman (Sappho) being head over heels in love with another girl and be like "Ah, yes. Best gal pals."
Yea, they use to spend most of their time playing " hide the little sword ".....in eachother........
The centuries of animal behavior studies that somehow failed to notice same-sex behavior in tens of thousands of species are equally telling. But now America has gay penguins being attacked by Christofascists, thus proving we are the most progressive nation on earth.
Lecturer Reid pointed out that people who study the past "become critical thinkers with a powerful analytical toolset and the ability to communicate complex ideas. Those are incredibly important skills — and they develop them whilst learning about the past and the forces that have shaped our society."
Reid stressed that studying history is not just about gaining knowledge: "It’s about gaining important skills that can be used to find success in a dizzying array of jobs and careers."
Who knew that smelling like the a**e of a farm animal would make you less attractive.
LMAO "farm animal"🤣 I heard that not showering every day and having natural patina would smell manly and attractive to women 😂 Can't say what's true, I'm lonely. But I'd definitely prefer a non-violent person!
Load More Replies...My grandpa came to the US from Kent, England. My dad did a DNA test, and he’s English/Scandinavian. Apparently I’ve got some ancestors that were Smart, Sneaky, Squeaky-clean, and SEXXYYY 🔥💅😉
Most Britons have mixed heritage of various European cultures due to how often we were invaded!
Load More Replies...Olde English dudes like, take a bath? or slaughter the invaders?? ATTACK! lmao
What a euphemism: "...undermined the chastity of wives." Is that how you say "... women found they preferred less lice and feces" in textbooks?
Voyageurs (colonials or their sons) n Canada in the 1860s would return to indigenous peoples after an expedition or a hunt, and just outside of camp they would shave and wash before returning. "Men who had direct dealing with indigenous peoples would often shave their beards, as aboriginals were repulsed by facial hair and took great care in keeping their own faces clean-shaven."
The viking men spent longer doing their hair and getting glammed up than the viking women
Seriously? I thought we covered this in the Bible? The MAN makes the coffee....HEBREWS!!
Call the United Nations! This should be included in the Universal Human Rights
Yes! It was the one with David Tennant ( 10th doctor) and Donna Noble. It was called ' THE FIRES OF POMPEII'
Load More Replies...Fortunately, Grumio was drunk again and would forget the entire conversation come morning.
Let me introduce you to the Toba Caldera. Last eruption circa 74,000 years ago. Sunlight was blocked for almost a decade.. Mankind almost perished, save for a few in Africa. It took 5,000 years before any migration out of Africa occurred. Pompeii is but a small pimple in the grand scheme of things
But the abundance of information floating around the web makes it difficult to know whether every truth or detail is true. "The internet is an incredible tool, but it is also responsible for producing and disenchanting a lot of bad information," Reid said and explained we must check our sources.
"Don’t take anything for granted," he added. After all, it’s always important to check how people support their points. Especially today, when we can find needed documents, letters, and speeches quite quickly. "Look to the works of credible scholars to ensure the accuracy of whatever you’ve read or whatever you intend to produce."
History does not always repeat itself. Sometimes, it just screams "Can't you learn _anything_!?" and clubs you upside the head.
How can we? It's been written by the victors, embellished and sanitized. Stripped of all teachable moments, so everyone here can feel good and proud.
History is written by the winners, and the losers fail to read it.
Hegel's face is a study in the price of facing the truth about our species.
Surely not me. Sure they messed up. But I'm better. It's the future now, after all. Now let's build a 50 floor skyscraper with the cheapest materials we can find and using the cheapest labor we can get by with and still act shocked when it all comes down."
More reasons: sizes are easy! They can be an instant blanket/ bed! Multipurpose. I want to wear one so bad
I used to wear a cloak in high school. I never took it off. I would just flap from class to class.
And bringing back the codpiece would provide a reason to dramatically sweep one's cloak to the side.
Upon reading this I immediately left to another tab to look at pictures of cloaks available for sale and came back to report that I will be buying one
The mythology says crosses hurt vampires but crosses were not always thought of as holy. So imagine the exact day that Christianity decided to choose the cross as their symbol and that very day, a vampire, say in Iran with no clue what this new religious symbol is (probably no clue about this new religion), just starts burning because they see a cross which has just been declared a religious symbol. And if you think about it, vampire lore has been around longer than Christianity so really, the concept of a cross being useful is very flawed; let's not forget all the other religions too. Crosses assume Christianity is the "correct" religion too; Star of David has no affect (unless used like a shuriken) and Judaism and Hinduism, for example, are much older than Christianity.
Load More Replies...I've always thought that any holy symbol would work; it was the faith of the wielder, channeled through the physical object that repulsed the vampire...... In the original Fright Night the vampire, Jerry Dandridge, is confronted by a cross wielding Peter Vincent. Dandridge casually reaches out and crushes the cross and mocks Vincent with the words "You have to have faith for this to work on me, Mr. Vincent."
That would make sense and yet noone ever does that. It's always just cross, holy water and church used as deflecting/harming vampires. I mean if faith alone did it then really you could use anything as a weapon; you could use a fish then since there's that fish symbol or a thorn crown or even a non religious items like a ping pong paddle if your faith is in it
Load More Replies...You guys have no idea what it's like to be a vampire who has never seen his image in a mirror; until the 20th century, when they started using aluminum as a reflecting surface instead of silver. All of a sudden there I am: d@mn I look old!
"Be curious. Explore the past. Learn the lessons our ancestors teach us through their words and actions. Learning about the past is one of the best ways to understand why we — all of us — act the way we do," Reid concluded.
There was an Oxford college where the beams in the ceiling of the hall got woodworm. There was panic in academia "where will we how will we what do we do?", but some foresters up north saw the news report and wrote to remind them that there were mature oaks ready. The college's Bursar had been paying the foresters' salaries for years but no one remembered that the college owned this reserved land.
Let everyone else forget - accounting will remember forever.
Load More Replies...In a similar vein, the US Navy has "Constitution Grove" which is 50,000 acres of oak forest maintained to provide timber for the upkeep of historic sailing vessels, and the Naval Live Oaks Reservation which is now a park.
Yes! In my old stomping ground on the Florida panhandle
Load More Replies...Some of the oaks were actually used in the reconstruction of the world's longest Viking ship replica "The Sea Stallion from Glendalough".
We are one good Carrington event away from returning to to the 18th century so hold on to those oaks.
I just googled "Carrington event" and now I have something new to worry about. Thanks! :-)
Load More Replies...It's because....."There is nothing like a Dane!.....nothing in the world". 🎶🎵🎶
yeah what he/she said as I never learned how to insult people in Latin :P
Load More Replies...Yes......we have poached many words from other cultures....🤓
Load More Replies...I’m in the middle of a fantastic podcast, History if the English Language (thoroughly recommend) and am impressed that I’m actually absorbing something because my brains response to this was “well yes…AND no. The reason for this is….(essay)”.
That sounds really interesting, I'll see if I can find it. Thanks for sharing.
Load More Replies...It's kind of true though, I know the smallest bit of Spanish and french and I'm learning Swedish and German, its really interesting to see where different English words came from
Czech : Robot. Tamil: Catamaran. Pretend that Tamil is Latin: Trimaran. Zilch: Yiddish. Astronaut : let's mix Latin and Greek. Ceildh: Gaelic.
Load More Replies...Wow this is harsh I'm picking up a vibe that people don't like the English. I live here with my husband, 5 year old son, cat called monkey and dad called woowoo. We run a little pub and try to be happy. Very normal people
This post doesn't mention the English. Glad I could help!
Load More Replies...Reminds me of Warner Bros. "Michigan J. Frog" (when not performing).
Based on this would it be a good idea to rename all politicians Spuddles? "The house recognises the honourable Spuddle." Wait! Seen another problem now. We need another more appropriate word to replace honourable.
Spuddite: One who has made spuddling into a mode of being., a.k.a, politician.
Load More Replies...Cool to know such a word exists in English 😁😁 there's a verb with this same meaning in German
Hallelujah! I've discovered something I'm good at! I'm a World-Class Spuddler!!
I must be a master spuddler. My wife says I've been doing this for 51 years.
My grandfather uses a word that means this basically, he says "piddle" which actually means peeing, and is basically just saying pissing around.
"That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind, also suck it LOSERS!"
He messed up the greatest quote in the history of the world.
Load More Replies...I could imagine seeing Earth from the moon/space would give me an overwhelming feeling of "wtf are we doing", realizing how we really do only have one and it is beautiful and precious.
“You had to ruin it, buzz.” “Well, I’m sorry for living, Neil. God.” “Aw go back to pollinating some flowers or some sh-“ -nasa broadcast cuts out-
....there is SO much to be said about this, I don't know where to start....!
Ctrl + Shift + N to open the last browser window closed, Ctrl + Shift + T for the tabs.
From what I just read they are all over 6' strapping blonde gods ... I say Bring it!!!
We do have a Duke of Edinburgh it's the Queen as all titles return to the monarch after the death of the recipient.
What nonsense is this now? Duke of York = Prince Andrew. Duke of Sussex = (Prince) Harry
Oh dear, you may want to sit down for this...
Load More Replies...There is a Duke of York, Prince Andrew and the Duke of Sussex is Prince Harry...you buffoon
*snicker* there's a post above where their general hotness caused English women to have "chastity" lapses.
Incidentally, the British museum Twitter profile blocked @nocontextbrits after this tweet…they can’t take a joke but they take everything else
While we're at it, when is the USA going to give back Mount Rushmore to the native indigenous population that successfully sued to the Supreme Court over the surrounding land?
I don't care about nine tenths of the law. We really must stop referring to the Parthenon Marbles as belonging to Thief Elgin.
The shadow of the tower would be behind the tower you nincompoop.
* Plugs in Big Brother that I brought home from the store myself. Her name is Alexa *
At least you know where your Big Brother is....better than it being secretly hidden in your home!
Load More Replies...Google and all its ilk have proved Orwell a saccharine Pollyanna optimist who viewed humanity through a rose colored martini.
So in 1984 as I recall the main was forced to do exercises every day via a video class. When I first saw an add for the Mirror, I think it was, (A exercise device that's a full length mirror and video screen that connects you to exercise teachers) I immediately thought of 1984 "Orwell was just off by a few decades".
And sometimes we use the 24 hour clock which apparently confuses a lot of Americans.
A few years ago I'm in Paris (where they use the 24hr clock) waiting for a flight. American lady is in front of me waiting to check in. The guy at the counter is trying to explain to her that she's missed her flight. "But my ticket says it leaves at 1615, and it's only 4pm now! How can I have missed it?" "Because you need to check in at least 2 hours ahead." "It is 2 hours ahead! It's 4pm, and the flight doesn't leave until six fifteen!"
Load More Replies...This just made me think of Irish comedian, Dave Allen's brilliant routine about telling the time
I get the 12 hour twice idea because early clocks would be hard to make accurate and readable enough with all 24 hours on the dail.
And when use one with a circle and arms, it's divided into 12, but when we use one with only numbers, it's divided into 24. And if you have one with only numbers and if someone asks you the time in the afternoon/evening, you don't tell them the actual number on your clock but subtract 12 first.
After I worked at Disneyland which used military time, I switched all my clocks to the 24 hour clock. It makes more sense and 🤷 they use it on Star Trek.🖖 It's also easier for time changes and zones.
Charles VIII died after hitting his head on the lintel of a door. Louis III died after hitting his head on a door frame while chasing a girl.
Load More Replies...Early in the afternoon of April 7th, 1498, Charles VIII of France escorted his queen, Anne of Brittany, to an antiquated gallery at his chateau of Amboise, to watch a game of tennis. Entering the gallery through a low doorway, the king stumbled on a rotten floorboard and hit his head against the lintel. Louis III died on 5 August 882, aged around 17, at Saint-Denis in the centre of his realm. He was chasing after a girl, who was retreating to her father's house, when he hit his head on the lintel of a low door and fell, fracturing his skull and killing him instantly.
Try the defenstration of Prague! It happened not once, not twice, but three times!!!
Omg I was waiting for someone to point it out!
Load More Replies...That's still better than all the English Kings who have died of diarrhoea or on the toilet.
And just as you start to relax and tuck into your soup, the inevitable bad guys show up (in this case, the in-laws). Backhanded insults are thrown, butter knives are drawn, and I realize my chandelier isn't conducive to my wannabe swashbuckling swing across the dining room (with said butter knife clenched between my teeth). The in-laws may win the day, but they only have so many days left and I'm extremely patient.
Pippin: "What's that?" Merry: "This my friend, is a pint." Pippin: "It comes in pints? I'm getting one."
I love that reference! Also this meme reminds me of the desolation of smaug scene where Thorin is in the pub.
Load More Replies...ask the inn keeper if he heard rumors .. might lead to a nice sidequest
and then another... and another... and - wait what was i supposed to be doing again??!
Load More Replies...And the lady has a spliff...munchies followed soon after this painting. They ordered a Dominos
Load More Replies...The girl on the right is breaking the fourth wall. I like her the best.
And only the knitters look happy. As a knitter, that makes *me* happy.
The looks of boredom here are impressively portrayed, except for the girl on the right, who is colorfully dressed. Her look conveys "When God passed out the personalities, all my family members were standing behind the door, so I got it all! Yay me!"
What "work" is the woman who looks like she's got a cigarette doing?
Load More Replies...You don't remember that Sesame Street episode where they all got caught up in the War on Drugs?
Load More Replies...Also known as the day that ends in "y"
Load More Replies...My husband loves to watch the show Ancient Aliens in order to see what quasi academia is like when everyone quotes each other in a rather small circle. Sort of like intermarriages of family like the Hapsburghs...and you get pretty much the same results for both.
I'm watching the aliens "documentaries" on Tubi lately. One presents its "evidence" and says there is no other explanation. They're good for a laugh.
Load More Replies...History Channel started out producing/presenting interesting programs about recent History, past History, and ancient History. All well and good; people watched and enjoyed them. Success. Then reruns started getting stale, so they changed focus to more WWII, and Nazi garbage. Popularity started to slide. Then, they tried getting more exciting stuff like Aliens. Circle the drain.
Load More Replies...Cocaine addicts often project responsibility for their behavior onto others, but aliens is new to me.
And did he comb his hair, bathe every Saturday, and change his clothes frequently? No wonder he was a success.
Well, there was an internal riot against him which killed him. So not so peaceful. Also he burned down Hamburg.
The logo was stolen from Beaunit Textiles http://www.charneira.com/2011/02/logo-story.html
That first one has me cracking up! Also: When you order a dog from Wish.com
Top right, why are you staring at me like you gotta tell me my loan was denied?
and his dealer beat him up cause he couldn't pay her.
Load More Replies...Outside writing and imagining I do everything terribly, so I feel you, Beethoven.
I want to know as well, O Pandas of More Knowledge Than I Please Reply Here to My Comment
Load More Replies...Well, he was certainly c**p at maths (...because his horrible father who wanted to make the big bucks by turning him into a child prodigy wouldn't let him go to school).
Sorry, “unum bumbulum”?! Why is this not common terminology anymore?! “That was a ripper bumbulum”is going to be making a comeback in my house.
That king is dead. There is no longer a "job opening" in that category.
Load More Replies...Gonna swallow lots of air, eat a hella amount of broccoli, beans and onion soup so I can be on my way to Buckingham Palace, where I’m going to jump, whistle and rip a big thunderclap fart before the Queen so I can claim my manor. And here I’ve been working my a$$ off for years in America to pay my mortgage…
When you could have put said a**e to much better use
Load More Replies...It's nice to know that fart jokes and potty humour never changes.
It’s like in Music Man when Marian’s mom says “There's not a man alive who could hope to measure up to that blend of Paul Bunyan, Saint Pat and Noah Webster you’ve got concocted for yourself outta your Irish imagination, your Iowa stubbornness, and your library full of books!”
Load More Replies...Native Americans: Please sir, this is not India. Christopher Columbus: Oh look! Indians!
Columbus: wheres my spices!? Native Americans: ????
Load More Replies...Tell that to the helmsman that actually discovered land and the native people Columbus decided to enslave and murder.
Load More Replies...AND Columbus wasn't the first to discover the New World, the Indigenous people were, the Vikings were next.
This must have been right before he gave the natives the choice between the swinging from the gallows or kneeling at the cross.
Columbus with John Cabot's map, made secretly after he'd already sailed to the Americas in the 1470s as a cabin boy on fishing ships (America possibly named after Cabot's banker Richard Amerike), but wanting Spain to pay for his trip "Yeeeeeees. India. That's right. Gold. Spices. Expensive trade goods. That's right. Going to Innnnnndia. Not going to any new world at all. What? Oh, nothing, nothing. INDIA!"
Since no one had GPS in those days I'm amazed that Columbus found land at all. AND, since no one knew that there was a huge land mass between Europe and India I would not fault any explorer for ASSUMING that it was India. SO let's all give him(them) the benefit of the doubt and stop all the harassment of our forefathers and just move on… they all did the best with what they had. Columbus made an honest mistake and gave us new world … his brave efforts should not be shamed … OK? No one is perfect … remember the world's most important inventions and discoveries were … total blunders! THANK GOD!
Load More Replies...Oh yeah, Christopher Columbus was not a good sailor or anything and was thinking of doing so and asked queen Isabel of Castille to let him sail to India, and he ended up in America, thinking it was India.
Yup, he and his crew would've ended up missing at sea if the helsman did not discover a landmass on the horizon.
Load More Replies...Sorry Columbus never touched north America only south stop believing your elementary learning
Machiavelli is a nice guy not like those Chad's you go for, you should give him a chance, he will treat you like a princess.
“He’ll treat you like a princess. He’ll marry you off to someone you hate to gain political power.”
Load More Replies...Yeah but Machiavelli gets a bad rap because people think he was a political strategist, when he was in fact a political satirist. His major work, The Prince, is dedicated to a specific member of the de Medici family and has a passage that says - I paraphrase - "A prince can rule his people either by love or fear. Love is better...but in your case we'll have to try fear".
Please feel free to downvote me if you are offended by the idea that people might actually read books - oh, amazingly, you did
Load More Replies...How about states being ruined because men can't behave themselves?
That's exactly what this is about. It's about men hurting women and that action is what ruins States. He wasn't blaming women.
Load More Replies...And its sequel, "How Women Are Ruined on Account of States."
And St. Augustus. Over beating mom, thrice rejected by women wrote the treaties that altered the fate of every woman under any so called Christian influence since. That's right, this alpha male is the one who convinced the church that Eve was evil... and the book of genesis was edited to reflect that. A travesty against humanity.
As opposed to NASCAR. Non Athletic Sport Centered Around Rednecks
Load More Replies...That's pretty much it. Those races were brutal. Serious injuries and even death were not unheard of
Load More Replies...Then roll cages and horse nostril restrictor plates were introduced as safety measures . .
Antonius Stewartios, number XX, is my favorite charioteer. Screw the drivers of chariots III, XI, XXIV and LXXXVIII.
i'm going to say it as no one else has ..... 'Well that escalated quickly'
Internal Revenue: Threatening to take your house since the beginning of time
This has got to be the saddest f*cking thing I've seen BP do.
Load More Replies...I hate to be that person but the people in Pompeii were killed by a cloud of volcanic ash, not lava flow.
Every time I see this picture it amazes/terrifies me that some people were in the middle of picking up their children and were "frozen" in that same pose.
Its not worst than calling your condoms " Trojan ", i mean, nothing invokes more the meaning of " impregnable " as the dudes that let their enemies in by opening the front gate..
The stallion released its men whilst inside. No pull out game.
Load More Replies...Russia started from Kyiv, and Moscow was built by a Russian noble who was pissed off and decided to create an alternative capitol. What we call "Russia" now was a breakaway kingdom from the Original Russia, which we now call Ukraine.
So this means that the Ukrainians are NOT IN ANY WAY actually Russian but..... the RUSSIANS are actually UKRAINIAN! HAHAHA F.U. THIS IS FATE AND YOU MAY GET THE *REAL* OUTCOME INSTEAD
I agree with the sentiment but it is a bit misleading if you know history
"You're an idiot. Nobody is going to believe your story about a man turning water into wine and then coming back from the dead."
"Hey they believed the one about the flood and the animals on that boat! And nobody questioned the implied incest going on after that!"
Load More Replies...* Most lesbians (who have XX chromosomes) don't like "women" with XY chromosomes. * Most homosexual biological males who transition to 'female' do so out of auto-erotic fantasy, not gender dysphoria. --These are truths that are 'controversial' because they're true but do not fit the current narrative. One also has to be brave (or stupid) to utter them publicly
Ra ra Rasputin Lover of the Russian queen There was a cat that really was gone Ra ra Rasputin Russia's greatest love machine It was a shame how he carried on
Load More Replies...Some claim the British only roamed and subsequently conquered half of the world because they were in search for a decent meal...
Load More Replies...What's really sad is that these two nations then made potatoes so dull. The varieties known to the Andeans are (and were) much more flavorful. Of course, that's what you get when you plant for clones... Monoculture monotony!
We just prefer our food boring and bland to avoid anything resembling flavour.
Load More Replies...If didn't have pronouns, would like dictionary definition of 'pronoun' to which refer
So funny. It always makes me laugh when people say "I would never pronouns, it bugs me so much". How can they not realize they themselves just used 3 pronouns in that sentence alone, didn't they learn what pronouns are in school?
That's when you respond with: "Monday sees Jaya's point. Jaya always says such clever things. Monday will try to be more like Jaya" until they're either so annoyed they leave or their braincells finally kick into gear.
Load More Replies...Marjorie! I got as tight as a boiled owl last night, and now I have got the morbs, get Cupid's kettle drums out for me, don't be poked up!
Sorry gigglemug, I'm not up to d**k tonight, but I'll b***h the pot for you and you can put it in your sauce-box.
Load More Replies...I read that as "Vatican" slang. I should really slow down the scrolling.
Which is ironically how you measure calories (you literally set the food on fire and measure how much energy comes out of it)
Load More Replies...And Anne died because someone told a sad story. Her constitution was shattered.
Same! Was a really sick kid and my parents did not believe in letting me watch TV thank you Bullfinches
Hahaha oh the books I borrowed from the library as a kid! I just met a friend of my son's (10 y/o) who is just like this too! He even made mention to a Greek poet! Greek POET. Mind was blown! Haha
Ab Hoc Possum Videre Domum Tuum - "I Can See Your House From Here". A boast and a threat used by the old Morporkian Empire. From Jingo. Terry Pratchett.
"My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings; Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!"
But most people don't know that Ozymandias was a Greek name for the pharaoh Ramesses II, so even that won't work!!
Load More Replies...But in the future now you will be remembered on YouTube and TicTok for that time you fell off your chair or got attacked by a cat.
And they will remember your cat by name, but you'll be "that sad dude that fell over"
Load More Replies...My son was 1 when I was in grad school his bedtime stories were not age appropriate
Tourist "Who built that Cathedral?" Me "Where the f*** did that come from!!"
😆😆😆my answer is always aliens as well 👽 nice to know in not the only one!
Every human on earth’s life was altered immediately by WWI and WWII, especially if you accept the 1918 pandemic as a result of WWI. That wasn’t true of the Seven Year’s War.
You didn't even get into the field hockey arms, or the Lacrosse weapons.
Can confirm: lacrosse balls hurt much more than pucks. Ex. Shattered molar and almost broke jaw with hockey puck at 16, was back to school the following week. Lacrosse balls : one low toss to my knee and I was out for weeks. Haha
Load More Replies...you are arguing with the logic of an 8 year old -.-
Load More Replies...The answer to 1 is wrong by any standard, since Napoleon did not die in the Battle of Waterloo. The other three are all technically correct.
How do you get the correct answer? Post a wrong answer on BP.
Load More Replies...This is made up. Napoleon did not die in battle but in exile. What kind of test is this? History, Geography, Social Science?
Sorry to the kids of the future, Covid is a lot of homework to do
Covid is that masters course that you want to sleep through, but can't afford to miss a second of.
Yep - and just like the polar bears, that random teenage girl perished from (admittedly, very localised) global warming.
Noice. Here, have a thumbs-up. Hold on where is it *fumbling in his underwear*
Load More Replies...Funny cause they were so butthurt about it that hey killed her. RIP Joan of Arc
Actually no. The FUNNY thing is that the English never touched her. She was burnt at the stake by...the French.
Load More Replies...Joan of Arc died in 1431 The Battle of Castillon between the forces of England and France took place on 17 July 1453 in Gascony near the town of Castillon-sur-Dordogne. The English Crown lost all its continental possessions except for Calais, which was the last English possession in mainland France, and the Channel Islands, historically part of the Duchy of Normandy and thus of the Kingdom of France. Calais was lost in 1558.
Hey, Pandas. Why are asterisks used as quotation marks so often here?
They aren't quotation marks to indicate something said; asterisks are commonly used in chats like these to indicate an action: England (is) winning the 100 years war = England winning the 100 years war. They're doing it at that time. Then Joan of Arc show up.
Load More Replies..."We're not in the same boat. We're in the same storm. Some are yachts, some in canoes and some are drowning. Be kind and help whenever you can."
Ah David Cameron, I don't miss that twat one little bit, entitled little rich boy out of touch with anyone who didn't go to Eton with him - oh, that'd be half the fcking Tory party then .... revolution anyone ?
I've become a local celebrity for riding my pony through the Dunkin' Donuts Drive-Thru every Monday morning. Just brightening up everyone else's crappy Monday :)
Back in the late 19th century/early 20th century, we had a guy named Joe Root - he was a famous hermit that claimed all of the peninsula that's attached to our shore. He was basically squatting on 3200 acres and no one cared. People coming to picnic on the shore would always pack food for him. They'd include him in family gatherings and even trust him with their children. He knew the whole peninsula like the back of his hand - they called him the "King of Presque Isle". Screenshot...adf119.jpg
That is actually quite wholesome. I love that ppl just accepted him and his ways as they did 😊
Load More Replies...We have Blanket Man. No matter the time of year, he only wears sandals and at least three blue blankets, wrapped like an ancient robe. He very occasionally has moments of schizophrenic rage, directed at nobody, but is otherwise very nice, wishing everyone he meets a good day and generously feeding a flock of pigeons that hang around him for most of the day. Other than taking a few dollars here and there, he refuses all help and has lived on the streets in the neighborhood for at least ten years.
We have an older lady that when you stop at an intersection she tries to get into your car. If the door is locked she licks your window. It’s a might bit odd. She’s been picked-up and put in a psyche hold numerous times, but always ends up back at the crazy.
We had "Preacher John." He passed away last year and his funeral was attended so well, the crowd spilled out of the large church and into the field next door. I think it would have tickled him to know he touched that many souls :) He was nuts. Could be annoying. Kinda pushy. But he was not unkind or cruel. He never insulted. He just literally read the bible on the corner for anyone who would listen. I wouldn't. LOL! Not many would. But he clearly touched a lot of people just by being... him.
We had a couple on Ohio state campus, brother Jeb and sister Cindy. They told everyone they were going to hell. I hear they're dead now. Probably in hell.
Load More Replies...Found out at his funeral that my soft spoken great-uncle, was an Elvis impersonator. And a whopping good one at that. Half the family didn't even know and it was hilarious
Load More Replies...We had a guy who did Kung Fu on all the cars that passed him in the City for years, he stopped traffic regularly.
There's this one guy in my city who always walks around with a huge sign in front of him. Sometimes he carries a chain of lights and he's usually found in front of a small electric shop and the text on his signs is so vague, it could be interpreted in twenty different ways... he's either trying to convert me to join his religion or he's trying to to advertise. He doesn't approach people and I've never heard him say a word.
I grew up in Jerusalem, and we had dozens of them. Google "Jerusalem Syndrome"
Trying to decide what to order from Ubereats, but can't come to a concencus and are now getting hangry
This KIND OF makes up for the other two "historical FACTS" articled I read today on BP.
Just to get this done once and for all: we, the British, are sorry that we killed you all and ate all your sausages. Except we aren't sorry, and we'd do it all again, and you know full well that you were trying the same things at the same time, and if it were not for us you'd all be speaking French like a bunch of wankers. Bye!
This KIND OF makes up for the other two "historical FACTS" articled I read today on BP.
Just to get this done once and for all: we, the British, are sorry that we killed you all and ate all your sausages. Except we aren't sorry, and we'd do it all again, and you know full well that you were trying the same things at the same time, and if it were not for us you'd all be speaking French like a bunch of wankers. Bye!
