Making a character in a book seem realistic and interesting is no easy task. It’s not down to just your skills as a writer, though. You actually have to know a bit about who you’re writing about. In other words—do your research. Unfortunately, there are some male writers out there who seem to have major problems writing female characters and seem shy about asking their female friends for advice.

That’s where the ‘Men Write Women’ Twitter page comes in. It documents the scariest and most cringe-worthy examples of men writing about women without having any idea about them or their anatomy. Scroll down and read for yourselves, dear Pandas, because some of these examples have to be seen to be believed—that’s how unreal they are. Remember to upvote the best of the worst.

The project was started back in 2019 when Meghan Vondriska launched her version of the ‘Men Writing Women’ Reddit community. Now, the ‘Men Write Women’ Twitter page has 63k followers and there are 666 fans who follow their Instagram page. Very spooky and perfect for Halloween. "Women just want to be written as human. That's it. There isn't some wild scientific equation to writing women, and it isn't difficult. Write them as human, with complex feelings, not as body parts that happen to be put together into a feminine form," Vondriska told Bored Panda.

More info: Twitter | Instagram | MegVondriska.com

#1

This Is The Best One Yet

This Is The Best One Yet

ewillard42 Report

Samantha Lomb
Community Member
3 months ago

wow. so many weird misogynistic stereotypes here. Does this person also believe our wombs detach, fly about our bodies and make us crazy once a month?

View More Replies...
View more comments
#2

We Don’t Get Real Pockets In Pants Because We Have Tiny Purses In Our Vaginas!!! (Stuart Woods, Desperate Measures)

We Don’t Get Real Pockets In Pants Because We Have Tiny Purses In Our Vaginas!!! (Stuart Woods, Desperate Measures)

menwritewomen Report

Samantha Lomb
Community Member
3 months ago

This is horrifying. Has this man ever seen a vagina? I could not imagine jamming credit cards up it.

View More Replies...
View more comments
#3

"3 And A Half Milliboobs Per Handful"

"3 And A Half Milliboobs Per Handful"

Christimay , www.reddit.com Report

Daria Z
Community Member
3 months ago

The picture on the right is quite accurate and can apply to this whole post 😳

Jasmine Donald
Community Member
2 months ago

lol yes

Load More Replies...
Michelle C
Community Member
3 months ago

LMAO...I am going to use boobs for all units of measure...milliboobs, microboobs, deciboobs, gigaboobs...my friends surely will tire of me

Kalpana M
Community Member
3 months ago

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Load More Replies...
TrashPandaru
Community Member
3 months ago

WHY IS SHE POWDERING HER BOOBS WHO DOES THIS

😸Marik😺
Community Member
3 months ago

Does anyone know how many millimetres results in one milliboob ... I kind of want to measure mine and my gf boobs - and some more stuff from the flat... "That table is xxx milliboobs high."

Bacony Cakes
Community Member
2 months ago

I think one mB is about a tennis ball.

Load More Replies...
Lord Mysticlaw
Community Member
3 months ago

That is not even nearly as clever as he thinks, considering I still have no idea how big her breasts are. Even the champagne glass shaped boobs were more descriptive.

N G
Community Member
3 months ago

I wonder if the "standard" was provided either earlier in the books, or was removed during editing. This had the potential to be a satirical observation, but has fallen by a) not having the required context for the standard (if we are instead meant to be reading the payoff to an earlier setup), and b) the rest of the earlier paragraph describing her "full, round, whiteness of her thighs".

Load More Replies...
Sam Cook
Community Member
2 months ago

I feel like I shouldn't be laughing so hard at this. I knew I should've kept abreast of this post.

Truth Monster
Community Member
2 months ago

Oh, good its only 3.5 miliboobs. 4 miliboobs would just be unrealisticly large.

No You
Community Member
2 months ago

All these authors need to go to horny jail

Samantha Lomb
Community Member
3 months ago

hahaha omg. Miliboobs

Mónica Elisabeth Sacco
Community Member
2 months ago

What the heck does he mean by "milliboobs"!

The only Plueschopossum
Community Member
3 months ago

Yes, I looked just like the lady on the right. I mean... wtf??

Zophra
Community Member
2 months ago

I bet America would be more willing to learn metric...

Joanne Hudson
Community Member
2 months ago

No one seems to question "beautifully-tipped breasts"; I have had breasts for years and never tipped them that I know of, let alone beautifully.

ანა გავაშელი
Community Member
2 months ago

It sound stupid but this is actually hillarious! Can you imagine masuring your boobs in Milliboob, santiboob and THE boob! :D

Cybele Spanjaard
Community Member
2 months ago

Milliboobs.. I quite like that term..LOL. I have a generous handful, depending on the size of the man hand of course.

pansexualandproud
Community Member
3 months ago

i agree with the last line.¨what the bloody hell?!?!¨

TheDemonUnderYourBed
Community Member
2 months ago

I actually look like the picture right now..

Vanya Hargreeves
Community Member
1 week ago

I think the last sentence is perfect. just what the bloody hell-

Aly The Pansexual
Community Member
1 month ago

The entire page is just screwed up

Lydia Coy
Community Member
2 months ago

Fun fact: the picture on the right is elizibeth schuyler

Quazmodic
Community Member
2 months ago

Errr, ladies. just a heads up, look this word up in a dictionary. "Joke". ;)

Giulia Romana
Community Member
2 months ago

the passage higher up when she is called an 'item' is just as gross

Fieke Engelen
Community Member
2 months ago

?

Load More Replies...
Sasha Kuleshov
Community Member
2 months ago

I have 4 and a quarter Milliboobs! :D

MJ Scooter
Community Member
3 months ago

'whitness'? {sigh}

WildBerry
Community Member
2 months ago

This book wasn't proofed, obviously.

Load More Replies...
A Dumbo Octopus
Community Member
3 months ago

MILLIBOOBS????? I'M DYING HOLY S H I T

Iris Wolfie (づ ◕‿◕ )づ
Community Member
3 months ago

I never heard of that? Is that part of the metric system?

WildBerry
Community Member
2 months ago

It seems that way.

Load More Replies...
Aimee Kelley
Community Member
15 hours ago

Why is this funny

Taylor Bentley
Community Member
2 weeks ago

WHEZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZE

Mr.Bandicoot
Community Member
4 weeks ago

Is this story a comedy? Because, if it is, then the fact that everyone who read this both laughed and cringed was probably the authors intent.

CHARLOTTE THAXTON
Community Member
2 months ago

why is she "powdering them with a big pink puff"

Banjo Peppers
Community Member
2 months ago

Does it occur to anyone else that these books might be intentionally stupid?

Siddy Das
Community Member
2 months ago

I'm more concerned that this person thinks milliboobs is a measure

Aidan Garza
Community Member
2 months ago

WUT

Lola Label
Community Member
2 months ago

WHY WAS SHE POWDERING THEM

Bacony Cakes
Community Member
2 months ago

sentence that was cut off is probably a fourth wall break

The Pansexual MELONLORD
Community Member
2 months ago

WHAT IS THIS BOOK AND WHO WROTE IT

Dogo the Dog
Community Member
2 months ago

Lol 😂

Anxious-lesbian-disaster
Community Member
2 months ago

🤣🤣🤣that's so wrong why

Lisa Tetlow
Community Member
2 months ago

Who's Milli and why do we go by her boob size?

White Wolf
Community Member
2 months ago

"I grinned stupidly; what else could I do?" I suggest some lessons in biology *facepalm*

Brandi VanSteenwyk
Community Member
2 months ago

WTF is a milliboob? Did I miss something in Anatomy Class? Or perhaps in math or foreign languages?

Gayle Hunter-Gatherer
Community Member
2 months ago

Oh the fetishes of Men.

AnInrovert
Community Member
2 months ago

Milliboobs are the standard measure now..... no more millimeters!

D W
Community Member
2 months ago

Who is this terrible writer?

D W
Community Member
2 months ago

Who are these terrible writers?

AnInrovert
Community Member
2 months ago

milliboobs? That’s a measurement now?

Sandy Kavanaugh
Community Member
2 months ago

How big is a handful?

Colleen Hindson
Community Member
2 months ago

Though men claim to love breasts few of them know what to do with them. They like to look, like like them to bounce, but to actually give pleasure, most have no clue. Nor are they interested. Contrary to myth, men seem to prefer small or at most medium sized breasts, but beyond the visual, they can't be bothered.

WildBerry
Community Member
2 months ago

And some women don't care if the men can't be bothered. Everyone is different.

Load More Replies...
Michael Radtke
Community Member
2 months ago

To be honest, I wouldn't expect a lot of insight into women in a Letter to Penthouse type story...

Noah Gibson-fowlkes
Community Member
2 months ago

this image can go with the entire article

Elizabeth Guiles
Community Member
2 months ago

Standard measure?

Monkeywrench Productions
Community Member
2 months ago

M I L L I B O O B S

Debby Bright
Community Member
2 months ago

WTF?

John Shannon
Community Member
2 months ago

Milliboobs? I've certainly heard of MilliHelens--the beauty to launch one ship.

JD Lee
Community Member
2 months ago

The paragraph above says it all, “ .. to put the make on such a choice item, I was the boy & she was the item.” .. well, he got the “boy” part right.

Phoenix Shadowhunter
Community Member
2 months ago

The standard measure?

Micchi Dawn
Community Member
2 months ago

Milliboob?

Aamna Shah
Community Member
2 months ago

I can't believe someone read that and still published it.

ShikamaruPanda
Community Member
3 months ago

???

Animal lover❤
Community Member
3 months ago

Excuse me?

KT Pinto
Community Member
2 months ago

It's the perception of a college-aged male character. Don't people understand the concept of context and character development, good or bad?

Punyasloka Sahoo 17198
Community Member
2 months ago

What is milliboobs? This man has definitely never seen a boob in his life

WildBerry
Community Member
2 months ago

A milliboob is a tiny boob, as in millimeter. So this gal had 3 milliboobs per handful of boob. It's weird but not that difficult to understand.

Load More Replies...
I I
Community Member
3 months ago

??????/ dafuck is a milliboob?

Michał Jastrzębski
Community Member
3 months ago

MILIBOOBS? :D wtf

View More Replies...
View more comments

"I'm an avid reader, but the straw that broke the camel's back was a novel my boyfriend lent me, where the female character was described by her breasts and the male character was described by his personality. Working in advertising, I tend to be Very Online, and so taking my anger to Twitter seemed like a natural parallel. I was familiar with the Men Writing Women subreddit, but created a Twitter account in order to craft a consistent narrative and to build a community that wasn't hidden behind anonymity," Vondriska revealed what inspired her to create 'Men Write Women.'

Vondriska, from Wisconsin, devours 3 to 5 books each week. (Meanwhile, our piles of started-but-unfinished books keep on growing.)

According to the founder of the 'Men Write Women' Twitter page, a lot of male writers who tend to be thought of as the "founders of the literary canon" are continuous offenders. "John Updike, for instance. But the greatest repeat offender is definitely Stephen King. His portrayal of his female characters is honestly offensive," Vondriska said.

#4

Yes, Men Would Be Amaaazing At Handling Pregnancy - Evolution Really Screwed This One Up. Bonus Points For “No Woman Gets Raped Unless She’s Looking For It.”

Yes, Men Would Be Amaaazing At Handling Pregnancy - Evolution Really Screwed This One Up. Bonus Points For “No Woman Gets Raped Unless She’s Looking For It.”

cheribella Report

RaroaRaroa
Community Member
3 months ago

Oo. This writer does not like the look of pregnant women, so has decided that women must hate it - you know, because he hates it and they surely all want to appeal to him because he's so awesome.

View More Replies...
View more comments
#5

Well Damn, Where Are All My Kids Then??

Well Damn, Where Are All My Kids Then??

lilycama Report

Samantha Lomb
Community Member
3 months ago

Oh someone needs to tell this person men also get stretch marks and they are not ll from having kids. weightloss or gain does it too

View More Replies...
View more comments
#6

Let's Not Forget This Gem Either

Let's Not Forget This Gem Either

isapphic Report

Stephanie Did It
Community Member
3 months ago (edited)

Just imagine the reverse: "every hair in my beard becoming a tiny penis"

View More Replies...
View more comments

However, it isn't all doom and gloom in the literary world. There are male writers who can write women well, too. "Terry Pratchett is wonderful, and I've yet to see a submission from Michael Crichton," Vondriska shared that she, like many of us, is a Pratchett fan.

Vondriska also pointed out that, in her opinion, the best writers are well-read. So she encouraged all of us to read more and (most importantly) read more widely.

"Pay attention to what you're reading, and who you're reading. You have to make sure your bookshelf isn't made up of just men. Add in some spice—some female authors, some nonbinary authors, authors of color. And lastly, just because you were assigned a book in high school, doesn't mean its good!"

#7

Ugly Women Without Good Personalities Should Kill Themselves [rivers Of London By Ben Aaronovitch]

Ugly Women Without Good Personalities Should Kill Themselves [rivers Of London By Ben Aaronovitch]

reddit.com Report

Vincent Philippart
Community Member
3 months ago (edited)

Jesus...

View More Replies...
View more comments
#8

This Made My Breasts Frown

This Made My Breasts Frown

lordeandsaviour Report

Rowlie
Community Member
3 months ago

Lately my breasts only cry and sigh deeply. I miss all the smiling

View More Replies...
View more comments
#9

That's Not How Any Of This Works

That's Not How Any Of This Works

menwritewomen Report

Lord Mysticlaw
Community Member
3 months ago

Oh dear, this guy just revealed himself to be a very very confused virgin.

View More Replies...
View more comments
#10

Unsurprisingly, The Book's Terrible Writing From A "Proclaimed" Writer Does Not End Here (The Wedding Plot, Jeffrey Eugenides)

Unsurprisingly, The Book's Terrible Writing From A "Proclaimed" Writer Does Not End Here (The Wedding Plot, Jeffrey Eugenides)

menwritewomen Report

Samantha Lomb
Community Member
3 months ago

Boobs are testicles. They don't "withdraw" because there is muscle and a rib cage underneath and they are just mounds of fat and milk producing tissue. I feel like so many people here did not pay attention in health class. How can they be so clueless about the female body?

View More Replies...
View more comments
#11

Male Authors Writing Women Are Actually Just Horror Stories And Here's Why

Male Authors Writing Women Are Actually Just Horror Stories And Here's Why

isapphic Report

Stephanie Did It
Community Member
3 months ago

*That kinda chick, you know the type... O_o

View More Replies...
View more comments
#12

Ah Yes, Exactly How I'd Describe Myself (The Diamond Age, Neal Stephenson)

Ah Yes, Exactly How I'd Describe Myself (The Diamond Age, Neal Stephenson)

menwritewomen Report

Theodore Theodora
Community Member
3 months ago

Woman: "I'm SO HOT omg." Dude: "Just like my dead wife." What?!

View More Replies...
View more comments
#13

I'm Sorry, Her Breasts Do What

I'm Sorry, Her Breasts Do What

alexis_writes1 Report

Rowlie
Community Member
3 months ago

I guess the only breasts the author saw were trying to escape from him

View More Replies...
View more comments
#14

She's Eleven And Scared But Let's Talk About Her Nipples

She's Eleven And Scared But Let's Talk About Her Nipples

Professor_Owl Report

Martha Meyer
Community Member
3 months ago

This guy is a creepy perv!

View More Replies...
View more comments
#15

This Whole Book Has Both My Eyes And My Boobs Rolling.

This Whole Book Has Both My Eyes And My Boobs Rolling.

icomebearingpoop Report

Squee
Community Member
3 months ago

H-how would you even...?

View More Replies...
View more comments
#16

Be Horrified With The Rest Of Us

Be Horrified With The Rest Of Us

meganaderr Report

Lord Mysticlaw
Community Member
3 months ago

Men like Conde should not be surprised that sexy women love other women, and he really should try to help that male chauvinism.

View More Replies...
View more comments
#17

Breasts Totally Get Scared

Breasts Totally Get Scared

Report

Stephanie Did It
Community Member
3 months ago

My breasts are embarrassed by this.

View More Replies...
View more comments
#18

The Count Of Monte Cristo- 1884

The Count Of Monte Cristo- 1884

HotMopo Report

RaroaRaroa
Community Member
3 months ago

Poor old lady. :-D

View More Replies...
View more comments
#19

Plz Put This On My Tombstone #submission (The Dogs, Scott Smith)

Plz Put This On My Tombstone #submission (The Dogs, Scott Smith)

menwritewomen Report

Stephanie Did It
Community Member
3 months ago

She had a non-existent vagina?

View More Replies...
View more comments
See Also on Bored Panda
#20

*me To My Friend* Excuse Me, May I Please Borrow Your Eyeballs?

*me To My Friend* Excuse Me, May I Please Borrow Your Eyeballs?

menwritewomen Report

Bacony Cakes
Community Member
3 months ago

*brandishes ice cream scoop* Your eyeballs, please.

View More Replies...
View more comments
#21

She Was Flesh And Blood, Not The 2D Woman He Was Used To Objectifying On Television, And For That She Was All The More Special (A Time On Earth, Vihelm Moberg)

She Was Flesh And Blood, Not The 2D Woman He Was Used To Objectifying On Television, And For That She Was All The More Special (A Time On Earth, Vihelm Moberg)

menwritewomen Report

Stephanie Did It
Community Member
3 months ago

But no head, brain or mouth. How convenient!

View More Replies...
View more comments
#22

Literally No Woman Would Ever Do This (Misterioso, Arne Dahl)

Literally No Woman Would Ever Do This (Misterioso, Arne Dahl)

menwritewomen Report

Lord Mysticlaw
Community Member
3 months ago

In the first place this whole soaking thing sounds like a dishcloth, this guy obviously doesn't know how pads work. In the second place, pads stick to underwear, in my experience you don't just "fish them out", this guy obviously doesn't know how pads work. In the third place, of course the only possible rational reason why a woman would refuse sex is because she's on her period!, this guy is obviously an effing asshole.

View More Replies...
View more comments
#23

Only Sluts Have Hairy Legs (The Things They Carried, Tim O'brien)

Only Sluts Have Hairy Legs (The Things They Carried, Tim O'brien)

menwritewomen Report

Samantha Lomb
Community Member
3 months ago

dry sounds like she just needs to use more lotion. dry skin is horribly itchy

View More Replies...
View more comments
#24

Thank God For The Bikini Wax.

Thank God For The Bikini Wax.

sausageroll101 Report

Jo Choto
Community Member
3 months ago

Excuse me while I vomit.

View More Replies...
View more comments
#25

Wish I Had Pillowy Breasts! Taken From Ben Fountain’s Brief Encounters With Che Guevara

Wish I Had Pillowy Breasts! Taken From Ben Fountain’s Brief Encounters With Che Guevara

inquisitorial_25 Report

Samantha Lomb
Community Member
3 months ago

I'm more concerned by the fact he seems to routinely check out boys' butts and uses that as the benchmark of sexy.

View More Replies...
View more comments
#26

The Rest Reads “Dad Is Looking Like He Made A Better Decision Every Year”. What?!?

The Rest Reads “Dad Is Looking Like He Made A Better Decision Every Year”. What?!?

sadhairahcaz Report

Samantha Lomb
Community Member
3 months ago

wow that is very Oedipal.

View More Replies...
View more comments
#27

This Is A Totally Anatomically Normal Thing For Breasts To Do #submission (We Can Remember It For You Wholesale, Philip Dick)

This Is A Totally Anatomically Normal Thing For Breasts To Do #submission (We Can Remember It For You Wholesale, Philip Dick)

menwritewomen Report

Lord Mysticlaw
Community Member
3 months ago

These male authors are making my breasts pulse with resentment. They're really pissed off.

View More Replies...
View more comments
#28

#menwritingwomen No Wonder Some Of Them Think Our Breasts Stop Us From Doing Stuff If They Think We’re As Obsessed As They Are. We Can’t Get Away From Them. Oh Must Do This Important Thing But Wait!

#menwritingwomen No Wonder Some Of Them Think Our Breasts Stop Us From Doing Stuff If They Think We’re As Obsessed As They Are. We Can’t Get Away From Them. Oh Must Do This Important Thing But Wait!

KathrynEvansInk Report

Samantha Lomb
Community Member
3 months ago

Well this seems to reinforce every ugly stereotype of men being sex crazed horndogs

View More Replies...
View more comments
#29

'the Shining', By Stephen King. Its Always Breasts

'the Shining', By Stephen King. Its Always Breasts

GodfreyCrane Report

Chez
Community Member
3 months ago (edited)

To be fair, this scene is where he is describing a woman who has been dead in a bath for however long (a ghost of her anyway). And when I read it it's actually made perfect sense in that context.

View More Replies...
View more comments

Note: this post originally had 78 images. It’s been shortened to the top 29 images based on user votes.

See Also on Bored Panda