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Did you know that according to Ipsos, a multinational market research and consulting firm, on average across 30 countries, two in three adults (67%) consider themselves “happy”?
A pretty decent number, isn't it?
Well, life is not always blissful. It loves to kick you in your bottom, and as a result, you often find yourself facing some serious obstacles and hardships.
Whether it’s work-related stress, responsibilities that you find overwhelming, situations that you have little to no control over, or perhaps you’re simply going through a period of uncertainty – most of the time, all you want to do is talk to someone who’ll be able to knock some sense back into you by offering you a piece of wise advice.
But here’s the catch, most of the advice is complete and utter garbage.
“What’s a common ‘life pro tip' that is actually bad advice?” – this web user took to one of Reddit’s most philosophical and enlightening communities, asking its members to offer their serious takes on the world’s poorest life advice. The thread managed to garner nearly 24K upvotes as well as 6.3K comments containing some pretty eye-opening statements.
More info: Reddit
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#1
If a girl has declined to go out with you, that means you stop asking her. It’s not her playing hard to get, she just isn’t interested, unless she surprises you and says otherwise. So don’t follow the “If she says no, you’ve just gotta keep trying” b******t, just respect her boundaries.
fair_weather_rose 2 years ago
Not sure why you were down voted, I came to say something similar. Have an upvote.
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Lady of the Mountains 2 years ago
And if she actually wanted you to keep trying, I'd take it as a bad sign
Potato 2 years ago
Seriously, does one WANT someone who plays games like that?
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Ba-Na-Na 2 years ago
Yes, this is absolutely correct! Since when did playing “mind games” become a thing? You like someone? Cool-ask them out. They say no? Bummer. Move on. DONT HARASS THEM!
Bunzilla 2 years ago
Too many 'romance' movies have the male lead (or visa versa) being an outright stalker who somehow gets the girl. Incredibly dangerous message to be teaching anyone.
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R Dennis 2 years ago
I never liked that game. I had girls come up to me and ask why I didn't try harder. I told them if it was that difficult at the beginning, I didn't want to see how hard it got.
Paul Neff 2 years ago
Yeah... the messed up part is that this was a thing, along with the whole waiting to call or text after the date, until X amount of time had passed. Deliberately misleading responses are bad. Say yes if you mean yes, don't push a test to see how determined someone is.
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The other-other David Wong 2 years ago
This is made worse by bad movies saying quite the opposite.
Hotdogking 2 years ago (edited)
If you do try to follow this, all you will end up doing is telling her that her opinions and thoughts do not matter to you. For all she knows, if she buckles and says yes, you may undermine her in everything else. For all she knows, she won’t get a say in the relationship if she agrees. Since you aren’t taking her feelings into account when receiving her answer, you may never take ger feelings into account in the relationship AT ALL. Thank you for coming to my TedTalk
rehanne garvey 2 years ago
There's nothing more irritating than this! I had a guy who kept asking me "why" when I said no to a date. Repeatedly asking over and over again because he didn't like my answer, I JUST DIDNT WANT TO FFS
RELATED:
#2
“You can do anything that you put your mind too.” No...you can’t. Not everyone is good at everything , and the sooner you make peace with your own limitations, the more successful you’ll become.
Paulo Freitas 2 years ago (edited)
S**t i wanted to learn Capoeira, but i have the agility and flexibility of a cinder block, só, that makes it really hard to learn Capoeira.
Squirrelly Panda 2 years ago
Find your limitations, push the boundaries of your limitations and don't limit youself.
BeepBeepBoopBoop 2 years ago
I feel like a better quote would be "you can do anything you put your mind to, within your limits" Like, becoming a better artist is within, what I like to believe, everyone's limits. It's something that takes practice. But trying to fly like a bird by flapping your fingers isn't going to work because that's outside of a humans limit
Maltaros 2 years ago
And not everybody can be a good artist, even though they think they can.
Load More Replies... Nicole Weymann 2 years ago
No matter how much you flap your arms, you won't take off that way.
Marcellium 2 years ago
As a disabled person. This. I can't stand for more than like 30 minutes at a time. I can't just "put my mind to it" or "be strong" to do something like... run a race. But I can go on a nice walk! And I'm happy not trying to go on runs.
nidasdottir Mac 2 years ago
This is such a painful thing to learn. I was told I could do anything I want to do and I just cannot, neither can anyone else.
#3
“If you can’t love yourself you can’t love someone else”
Makes everyone with any mental illness feel unlovable and hopeless
DennyS (denzoren) 2 years ago
I feel this to my bones...and yes it makes you feel like c**p too. I know what they mean but it doesn't mean you're not worth being loved either.
SaneMinotaur (she/her) 2 years ago
I think it's more about how hating yourself/ being unkind to yourself comes with toxic/ damaging self-behaviours, and sometimes we exhibit those behaviours towards those we love, because we don't always have healthy ways of expressing our feelings and thoughts. It's an unfortunate by-product of self-loathing; for me, certainly.
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StrangeOne 2 years ago
it's not that you can't love someone if you don't love yourself, but learning to love yourself and put yourself FIRST is a step to understanding what a healthy relationship is. Just like when kids learn to kiss using their arms.
Patsy 2 years ago
This. Right. Here! It's like what Mama Ru says (and the reason why I ended my last relationship). "If you can't love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else" It was the hardest thing to learn, but for the better x
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WantsBalsamNCold 2 years ago
Yes, you can love others even if you don't love yourself. I hated myself but sublimated it for years. Fell in love with the best person but ended up driving him away because of the poor way I treated myself through the behaviors I exhibited, which he could not deal with or accept. We separated eventually. Sad situation.
SaneMinotaur (she/her) 2 years ago
WantsBalsamNCold, I'm so sorry to hear that; mental health issues are so devastating and life altering. *Hugs*
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Raccoon 2 years ago
As someone who is only currently alive because I love my best friend, yea this saying is b******t
SaneMinotaur (she/her) 2 years ago
I never know what to make of this phrase... it often leads me to feel like I am incapable of loving anyone, when I know that's not true. Mental illness makes me feel like an alien who doesn't belong anywhere. Learning to love yourself is important, but very difficult for some of us.
Doctor Strange 2 years ago
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/emotional-fitness/201001/you-dont-need-love-yourself-first
SaneMinotaur (she/her) 2 years ago
Thank you so much for posting that link, Dr Strange!
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Fluffy mommy panda 2 years ago
So so true. I'm just left feeling.....empty sometimes when I hear this.
Shane S 2 years ago
Conflicted about this one. You can selflessly love others but a person could fall into the trap of only seeing their worth based on what others think of them. I think strive to love yourself but give yourself grace and compassion if you aren’t quite there yet. Therapy is great and I think everyone needs it at some point in their lives.
#4
ABSOLUTELY DO SAVE BIRDS THAT FELL OUT OF THEIR NESTS! You're letting them die if you don't, their mom doesn't give a single s**t about their smell so please save them.
Maltaros 2 years ago
They can smell, they just don't care if their chick smells like a person put it back in the nest.
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Jeremy James 2 years ago (edited)
I found a tiny bird in my fenced backyard who couldn't fly. It seemed a little... not too bright and let me scoop it up in my hands. Concerned, I made up a shoebox with some paper towels and took to the internet to identify it and find out what to do. That's how I learned that it was a wren in its fledgling stage. Fledglings have left the nest but are not yet able to fly very well. They spend some time hopping around and learning to forage, usually while being monitored by one or both parents nearby. No harm done, but it's usually best to leave them be.
Fluffy mommy panda 2 years ago
This is true the parents are usually in near by trees and I have even seen them hitch rides from parents. I have watched these type of birds many times. I'm telling you it looks like a teenager not wanting to listen to there parents so the parents keep going on and on then fly away then sometimes they fly a little ways. And sometimes parents come back to guide the little one.
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VodkaInMySweetTea 2 years ago
We have birds that make a nest on our front porch every year. Last year, we heard both of them shouting, freaking out, flying in frantic circles. We thought maybe they were being attacked, but when we went out there, we saw one of the babies had fallen out of the nest. I got gloves and a ladder and put it back in while the parents watched from nearby. A few weeks later we got to watch that same baby grow up and learn to fly. It was so cool!
Mickysixxx 2 years ago
Australian Magpies will continue to feed their babies if they fall out. Often people will try to "save" the chick but this leads to magpie misinterpreting the person and they start swooping everybody that resembles that person. They also communicate to other magpies that live in their territory and they start swooping the same type of people
Fluffy mommy panda 2 years ago
Bluejays and Cardinals do this oh they let you know real quick we know he down there go away or else lol
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Paul Brown 2 years ago
The mother bird WILL NOT reject the baby bird if you pick it up and put it back in the nest. I don't know where this nonsense comes from but it is absolutely not true.
Julie Cohn 2 years ago
I was told this as well growing up & even now as I work at a vet, when I told the techs & one of the doctors this in a discussion about birds even THEY were dumbfounded. Every single one of them thought birds had this an amazing sense of smell & would be rejected if touched by a human. They legit made me Google it in front of them
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spirit wolf 2 years ago
We live out in a farm area, lot's of woodland and such and I've come across quite a few of these babies and what i can say is I've been having great success by placing fallen baby in a makeshift nest inside a tall bucket or basket and placing it atop a tall stool near where it was found. I start feeding with worms and most times the momma bird comes back looking for the baby. Ofcourse, they can't pick it back up to the original nest but they start feeding the baby until it's old enough to fly out. The hardest babies to care for are bunny babies, it's almost impossible to make them thrive if you find them too young. Best not touch those for as long as possible and see if mom comes back at all.
Raccoon 2 years ago
PSA:this doesn’t apply to baby seals! Mothers leave the baby’s on shore when they go hunting, and if she comes back and doesn’t see the baby, she will not come back! They haven’t been abandoned. If the baby looks injured, call a local aquarium or wildlife rescue and they will know what to do.
Stephanie Did It 2 years ago
I can't recall stumbling upon any baby seals here in South Central Texas, but that is very good advice.
Load More Replies... Annymoose 2 years ago
I love how that a chicken or quail baby just plopped into a nest lol. If a bird can perch on your finger, their parents are close! They leave the nest before they can fly. Leave them somewhere inconspicuous. But yeah, leave wildlife alone in general, but if you have to touch because of danger, mom will not care. The babies have a roughly 90-99% chance of dying without their parents. Wildlife rescue is brutal. PLEASE consult a professional if you're not sure. Too many die from humans trying to help when they should have been left alone.
Luna Crow 2 years ago
Also, CHECK TO MAKE SURE THEY NEED SAVING FIRST!!! I was trying to help a fledgeling crow once and called the Audubon Society (the authority on rescuing birds where I live), and they told me to leave it alone, and that they get that same call numerous times every year. Do NOT interfere with fledgelings learning how to leave the nest! Also, if you do try to help a downed baby, keep an eye on the location. Found a fallen hummingbird nest last year and tried to put it back, saw the momma looking around the area, but she ended up rejecting it. Fortunately, we were able to take it to the local wildlife center, and it survived<3 ...... TLDR: when in doubt, check with your local organization before taking action.
#5
“Never give up.” Sometimes you should give up. Sometimes you’ll try your best and it still won’t work out.
DennyS (denzoren) 2 years ago
Call it daily rewards, would feel a lot better.
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Thor Haugen 2 years ago
Toxic relationships, personal or business. Just walk away. You are worth more than that.
Fat Harry 2 years ago (edited)
"Never give up" is basically the fallacy of sunk costs: I've pumped x amount of dollars into this, so if I quit now it'll all be lost. Yes, but you're continuing to pump money into it, are no closer to succeeding, and what you're trying to do is impossible. Quit before you lose even more money!
Michael Largey 2 years ago
"If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use making a damn fool of yourself." - W.C. Fields
Sweet_Dee 2 years ago
This is called Sunk Cost Bias and it is a sneaky assassin. The power of giving up at the right time is where it's really at. Some of the world's greatest success stories come from people giving up on something else. Imagine if Steve Jobs or Mark Zuckerberg had decided to "never give up" and not dropped out of their respective universities? We likely wouldn't have Apple or Meta today. I'm sure there are much better examples of people who truly bettered society, but...
Charley128 2 years ago
We wouldn't have Apple and Meta. Some might argue the world would be a much better place.
Load More Replies... StrangeOne 2 years ago
You could totally be wasting your time with something that's not happening when you could be doing something else that opens opportunities.
Donna Gricus 2 years ago
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it. W. C. Fields
Olive Harper 2 years ago
Also, I think the term "giving up" is misused. In my mind you giving up is an excuse for something not working out the way you wanted. It's when you throw in the towel and pout about it. Instead of "giving up" you can just move on. Did you try to learn to juggle but after a lot of work and practice you discovered you just didn't have the coordination? That's okay just move on and find another hobby.
#6
"Just come out, even if your parents hate you it's better than being someone you're not!"
No. No nono noooooooooooo. Come out when it's *safe*. when you have somewhere else to live. You've faked it for this long, you can do a little longer and stay alive. It sucks, it hurts, it's a b***h and unfair, but you'll live.
Some parents realise they're jerks and become accepting, some realise they were too accepting and outright murder thier child. Be. Safe.
Nicole Weymann 2 years ago
Peopl online like to sneer at safety, waxing about freedom and how those who "give up their freedom for safety deserve neither". Sir, what freedom do I have if I'm dead? What kind of "freedom" do I have when I'm neck deep in medical debt and in constant pain after being assaulted
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Raccoon 2 years ago
Yuppppp. My mums convinced my dad won’t kick me out and therefore I should come out to him. He might not kick me out, but he can sure as hell abuse me more than he already does
Auntriarch 2 years ago
My dear Raccoon, if your mum isn't prepared to defend you now, I wouldn't hold out much hope that she would after you come out. Stay safe
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DE Ray 2 years ago
I had an acquaintance who was big into the "out and proud" mindset, militantly. He outed someone else because in his opinion it was always better to be open. The person he outed was beaten so badly they were put in a coma for a couple of weeks. When they woke up, they ended themselves. Not only do you have to judge safety for yourself, you have an absolute responsibility to consider the safety of others.
GirlFriday 2 years ago
I agree with this advice. I would love it if everyone could be their authentic self from the time they realize who they are and never face hate or prejudice. The world just doesn't work that way, and sometimes, especially for some younger people, it may be better to stay in the closet until you are safe and not financially dependent on someone that carries hate. A friend of mine came out at 14, and his parents promptly threw him out of the house. With nowhere to go, no money, and no prospects, he ended up living on the streets and prostituting.
Aaron Dodd 2 years ago (edited)
I hate pushy coming out advice. You do what makes you comfortable and happy and only when you're ready. Come out at 15 or 50, its your choice and your life.
Janet 2 years ago
Yes, wait until it's safe. I'm lucky to have accepting parents, they have always outright said "we love y'all no matter what". And during "the talk" my mom said to me that if I figure out I'm gay or bi or whatever, it's okay and I can tell them. No everyone is this lucky, unfortunately. Good luck.
Gabby Ghoul 2 years ago (edited)
I came out after I was safely on my own. My parents said they knew, had hoped it was a phase, and even admitted that I had I come out when I was younger they would have sent me to "a program."
k sand 2 years ago
That's the first thing that came to my mind when I read the OP. Excellent reason to wait until you're in a safer situation.
Load More Replies... BoredPandaSucks 2 years ago
same thing when you realize the Christian bullsh*t your parents have shoved down your throat since you were old enough to say Jesus. You have to watch yourself with that stuff.
Ramirez rachael 2 years ago
There literally needs to be a net work of families that are safe for people that want to come out just like there are safe houses for women in abusive situations there needs to be a safe place for anyone at any time.
#7
"Always listen to your elders" and "Old people are smarter / wiser"
I don't care who you are, what relationship I have with you, or expecially how old you are. Anyone can be a dumbass.
Thor Haugen 2 years ago
There are lots of old prejudices out there that don't need to be passed on. I am not saying every older person has them, but in my experience a lot of them do.
H.J. carlson 2 years ago
True! Some old thinking is bad stuff carried on that should have been dumped at the beginning 😃
Load More Replies... Nicole Weymann 2 years ago
Listening is almost always a good idea, and decades of life can grant certain insights gained by practice that can be helpful. As a well of wisdom it's one of several - and you should never rely on a single source for advice.
robin aldrich 2 years ago
Well said, thank you ! The reverse should also be considered as we have experienced ageism .... we are looked down on because we are older and thought of as feeble-minded minded and stupid.
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Old Roadie 2 years ago (edited)
Life too short to make all the mistakes yourself so, sure, you can *listen... but evaluate their advice. There's a world of difference between a recovering addict's advice and someone telling you not to party just because it's bad. A lot of folks my age forgot their dadgum roots.
Jill Bussey 2 years ago
The world has changed dramatically in the last 100 years and there are many, many people still not accepting that fact.
Aileen Grist 2 years ago
I keep waiting to be wise now that I'm old - but it doesn't seem to be happening.
#8
"You can't smell vodka."
Yes. Yes you can. And you reek of it.
Headless Roach 2 years ago
Absolut'ely. Byproducts of alcohol metabolism can be smelled in the breath and all over your skin through sweat glands.
Clown fish 2 years ago
And if a headless roach can smell it so can use none head missing foke
Load More Replies... Benita Valdez 2 years ago
As an experienced drinker and former bartender, I don't think I've come across any alcohol that doesn't leave a scent. Maybe a light fruity drink or one with alot of non alcoholic mixers, but other than that, you smell like booze when you drink alcohol, especially vodka and other hard liquors or spirits.
Paul Brown 2 years ago
My cousin was an alcoholic and all he drank was vodka and he seriously thought we couldn't smell it. RIP Joseph.
Phil Amylon 2 years ago (edited)
In what universe is "you can't smell vodka," a common life pro-tip?
D. Pitbull 2 years ago
Thank you - I never understood this. I was wondering if I was super weird or something. Like.. how do you NOT smell the alcohol tunneling its way up your nose???
Michael Largey 2 years ago
Whether you can smell vodka really depends on how much you've drunk.
#9
“Ignore the bullies and they’ll stop.”
This advice makes me want to slap a b***h. You are giving them and everyone who sees it permission.
Silence is acceptance. That is the real advice.
Thatkamloopsguy 2 years ago
I have to be honest, the only way I was finally able to stop being bullied as a kid was to beat the sh it out of him. He never bothered me ever again.
MarieL 2 years ago
Why did someone downvote you for being honest??? Thank you for being honest, and I'm sorry you were bullied as a child.
Load More Replies... Doctor Strange 2 years ago
Bullies count on people "turning the other cheek", because it means there are no consequences to their actions.
Michael Largey 2 years ago
When confronted with a bully, count to ten very slowly. But throw a punch at seven. They never expect that.
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LeeAnne B 2 years ago
I had to stand up to them, sometimes physically. It hurt me as a person but I didn't know how else to deal with it. I still couldn't give the right advice if asked.
MarieL 2 years ago
I don't understand why you were downvoted for being honest??? Thank you for being honest, and remind yourself, that you were just a child, and you did what you needed to do to protect yourself at the time...
Load More Replies... Jo Slatermill 2 years ago
Yes, I agree. best advice when being bullied is - Hit back, hard. not literally hit (or maybe sometimes do).
Anxious&Bored Bear 2 years ago
I once told my kids, "You're not a punching bag. If someone hits you, you hit back."
Thomas Ewing 2 years ago
The worst thing an honest person can do is nothing. Stand up for yourself and get help. Satan calls it cowardice because he doesn't like to lose. Good guys call it winning. Do NOT let the bad guys win!
Naesil 🇫🇮 2 years ago
If you can truly ignore them, so they dont get any satisfaction then it might work, but kids cant really do that, kids get physical so its pretty hard to ignore when you are getting beaten.. And while in general I would agree that violence isnt answer, it surely does get results, kick the s**t out of the bully and they know not to do it again, but that also is bit tricky because you really need to put the fear of god in to them, small slap on the wrist will make them just try harder.
Sondra Blackburn 2 years ago
There are people who if they find out something bothers you they’ll weaponize it. That’s the purpose of this advice. Don’t let the bullies know what bothers you. Ignore them. If that doesn’t work then you’ve got to protect yourself in other ways. My way was to punch ‘‘em in the face. But that was a different time.
David 2 years ago
School was long ago for me but I generally ignored non-physical stuff. But the only two fights I got into in school (7th and I think 10th grades) were beating up my bullies. Tried telling them to stop. They mistook kindness for weakness. I pounded them. They stopped bullying. So glad I lived back in the days when doing so would not have gotten me suspension and assault charges. 7th grade one got me a single swat from the principal (both of us) and a chuckle from my mom. 10th grade one got me zero punishment and praise from a teacher who had witnessed it.
#10
Never go to bed angry
Sometimes you just need some time to chill the f**k out and ruminate in why you’re angry. Constantly talking about everything is what they show on TV, but if you don’t have time to process your feelings you can just end up fighting even more than if you just took a day to chill
GirlFriday 2 years ago
I feel this one. When I am angry, if I can just have about 10 minutes to calm down and process my thoughts, we can talk about things like rational people, but if I am forced into a confrontation, I will explode. This is why sometimes, it is for the best that my partner and I go to bed angry. We can have a rational discussion over coffee in the morning.
BoredPandaSucks 2 years ago (edited)
If didn't go to bed angry, I'd never get any fu*ing sleep.
lauralett50 2 years ago
If I stop talking, and shut down. Leave me alone. I have to work things out in my head . Better safe,apart, than possibly someone dead
David 2 years ago
I feel a better goal would be don't go to bed without putting your anger in perspective. IRL example between me and friend of 50+ years is there have been times one of us said to the other something like, "I love you, but X upset me and I need time to think about that". Still parting upset about X but letting them and you know you value them. And other times it just isn't practical advice. If someone steals your car / kills your dog / whatever - you are going to go to bed still angry about it. Nothing gained by no sleep.
the shrimp whisperer 2 years ago
i go to sleep angry every night and then i dream about war and have anxiety about it all day
The Silly Stellar Jay 2 years ago
Agreed, my partner and I put this to practice all the time. 95% of the time you both wake up the next day and apologize to eachother with a fresh head.
#11
Anything that advises you to be a d**k to someone who seemingly doesn't deserve it.
"be macho, women love that s**t"
"Don't worry about your friend that says you're mean, he's a pussy"
"Your employer will appreciate you being agreessive and brutish"
As a general rule, being a d**k is rarely, RARELY a good idea
DennyS (denzoren) 2 years ago
Unless they live in England and their name is Richard. Lol (But listen to Roach, don't be a d**k).
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Michael Largey 2 years ago
The more a man is a d**k the fewer opportunities he'll get to use his.
Ericthedead 2 years ago
Never been told I should be a d**k but you also can’t let others push you around. But that’s different I guess.
Seabeast 2 years ago
It's probably been worded differently. Something like "Women don't like men who treat them well" or "Nice guys finish last".
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Linda Riebel 2 years ago
I guess when everyone uses the word "d**k" to mean AH, they're signaling that most AHs are men. Ok, some. Many. Too many.
D. Pitbull 2 years ago
I've always been aghast whenever "professionals" and 'advisors' give advice like this... like "Lie about it... figure it out later" - WHAT? and ... "Speak up and be loud about it - it'll start a full movement!" - uhh... no... when I said that timing and having support matters, I meant it... Like if the advice sounds like it will 99.999% make you lose your job/get you blacklisted/hurt-and-offend someone you don't have any reason to be antagonistic to... Just... don't do it. Bad adviiiice... (especially when the person gets testy and tries to guilt you for not listening to their 'incredible advice')
David 2 years ago
"Anything that advises you to be a d**k to someone" There, I fixed it for you. How people act reflects on them. How you respond reflects on you. And to clarify, I'm not saying always be sweet and nice to everyone. But you can set healthy boundaries, defend yourself and so on without being unnecessarily unkind.
#12
"Looks don't matter."
No matter how confident you are with yourself it is inevitable that people will judge you based on your appearance.
Headless Roach 2 years ago
So true! Everybody is like "hey, where's your head?" My inner beauty gets completely ignored.
DennyS (denzoren) 2 years ago
Everyone asks "Where's your head" but never "how's your head".
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DennyS (denzoren) 2 years ago
From someone who doesn't fit the cultural and conventional handsome stereotypes...yes it does matter. It's almost always harder without it.
Lisa H 2 years ago
Yep... Apparently I would be "prettier" if I wasn't so tall (I'm 5'7"), didn't wear glasses, did "something" with my hair (whatever that means), dressed better (again, whatever the hell that means), or smiled more. I know I'm not exactly a 10/10, but comments like these make me feel like the bottom of the barrel. I get it, the first thing people notice about anyone is their looks, but stop telling me what to do, especially if it's out of my control.
Caro Caro 2 years ago
Is that tall where you are? I'm the same and average hight in The Netherlands. My brothers are 190 so that makes me the peewee. Glasses have nothing to do with looks, can be pretty sexy too. Please don't think you're the bottom of the barrel, it's simply not true. Be you, you look very nice Lisa.
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D. Pitbull 2 years ago
Damn straight. "Oh, she didn't get it over you because she's pretty" - REALLY? Because she's beyond UNqualified and continues to get praise/raises despite the work results being consistently useless (and needing to be redone by someone else).
#13
“If a boy is mean to you, it means he likes you”
No, it means he’s likely a bully and leads women to staying in abusive relationships because ‘he Loves me”
DennyS (denzoren) 2 years ago
This has always puzzled me when I was a kid. Like...it didn't make any sense. Why would I be mean to someone I like?
Natalie Bohrteller 2 years ago
Getting attention. *Some* may do it that way, but they should learn that it's s****y behavior and will not have the outcome they wish.
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robin aldrich 2 years ago
Oh my gosh! I experienced this as an ADULT:A male colleague touched me inappropriately (this is way back before the phrase sexual harassment was coined) I marched him right to personnel with his boss, talked about it...it was over and was kind of shrugged off and later someone told me "well you know he has a crush on you!" I'm like that's no way for a grown up to act if he has a crush on me...
Jill Bussey 2 years ago
This is on the parents. Bring your children up to respect each other. Yes, I know it's difficult, but in those quiet moments make sure they understand bullies are not to be tolerated.
Max Fox 2 years ago
It's because boys, as toddlers, are less developed than girls, and they try to get the attention of the people they like, both boys and girls, using physical means. The idea of "he's picking on you because he likes you" comes from the fact that, in extensive parts of our society, men are taught that the only acceptable, "manly" way to express emotion is doing it like a toddler.
crowspectre 2.0 (he/they) 2 years ago
As a boy, if I tease you it means I know that we have a good relationship and you aren't gonna blow up at me and will probably think it's funny. If you don't and you tell me that it isn't funny, I won't keep teasing you because that's s****y.
Greta Free 2 years ago
Just recently my sister and I were talking about "He punched you on the arm because he likes you" sets people up for violent relationships, on both sides, and was as normal as wearing shoes.
#14
“Just be happy” or “look on the bright side”. Great overall advice, but sometimes in the moment, it can be the absolute worst. Sometimes things just suck and we want to break down and cry. That’s okay. We shouldn’t be talked out of those emotions when we’re upset and obviously feeling low.
Brenda 2 years ago
I used to tell my kids "You're going to feel how you feel as long as you need to. It's ok to feel "however", but don't wallow in it or take it out on others."
Lil Miss Hobbit 2 years ago
Solid advice. My mom says something very similar.
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Apatheist Account2 2 years ago
My grandfather always used to say, when one door closes, another one opens. Great optimist, terrible cabinet maker.
StrangeOne 2 years ago
"First world problems." "People have it worse elsewhere in the world." "Don't be like that. You're overreacting." "Ok Boomer" "You're sounding like a Karen." Why can't we just own our emotions and allow ourselves to feel. It's healthier and allows you to vent at a steady rate than bottling it up for a big eruption later.
Shane S 2 years ago
My favorite reply to that, is that if you go to the emergency room with a broken arm, but someone else comes in experiencing full cardiac arrest, that’s sad but it doesn’t make your arm any less broken.
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Ericthedead 2 years ago (edited)
This is b******t advice there isn’t always a brighter side some times you just have to eat that s**t sandwich.
Benita Valdez 2 years ago
🎶Life's a piece of shīt, when you look at it. Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true. You'll see it's all a show. Keep 'em laughin' as you go. Just remember that the last laugh is on you. And, always look on the bright side of life 🎶
Shane S 2 years ago
Yeah… but let’s not take it too far in the other direction. If you’re noticing yourself feeling low or negatively more than feeling happy or positively, then it may be time to consult a therapist or a medical doctor. There are lots of free Mood Tracker apps. Download one and check in with yourself every day and see how things look. There’s no such thing as bad or good emotions. But there is such a thing as depression and anxiety.
#15
"You can be *anything* you wanna be" No, you can't. People with money *could* be anything they wanna be. The rest of us probably have to work really hard to *maybe* attain our goals if we are lucky.
Margaret H 2 years ago
Nope. Not true. I want to be a calligrapher but I will NEVER achieve that - I have a hand tremor.
Jill Bussey 2 years ago
Even money does not create brain cells. If you achieve all you are capable of, then that is something to be proud of.
Ericthedead 2 years ago (edited)
Lol your comment reminds me of the dad on Stepbrothers.
Load More Replies... crowspectre 2.0 (he/they) 2 years ago
Fortunately my life dream is to be an elementary teacher and summer camp instructor, both of which are pretty accessible for someone without that much money because I'm not gonna have money anyways
The Starsong Princess 2 years ago
Having money just gives you the opportunity and more chances to try again if you fail. You still have to have ability and do the work. For example, money can’t make you a doctor but it might get you into medical school and give you tutors if you fail the classes. The more money, the more possibilities and the bigger the cushion.
D. Pitbull 2 years ago
Same with "Luck has **NOTHING** to do with success" - errm...yes... it does play a hand. Think of luck as not "luck" but "probability"...
#16
"If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best."
Absolutely wrong and super self-centered. At our worst, we're all super s****y and our loved ones don't deserve that. Some may not be able to handle us at our worst due to their own life stress and mental health conditions. This is just a recipe for pushing important people away.
Libstak 2 years ago (edited)
This is ok for the normal range of human situations. It is useless when the worst potential is immoral, illegal or unethical and cruel abusive behaviour whether it is psychological or physical. AKA if you can't handle me being gassy or having diahrea from bad foods etc, you don't deserve my for the other 99% of the time when I am well. Or if you cant handle me having a bad emotional break then i dont want to share my happy times with you,they have lost all meaning in your company. If you can't handle that I've bully bashed the neighbours kid, or been vindictive, jealous a constant drunk or druggie, thief etc then you are smart to have nothing more to do with me
Gabby Ghoul 2 years ago
This is just some b******t attempt to make being an a**shole acceptable.
#17
"You should do some math before accepting a raise, because it might put you in the next tax bracket and you actually take home less money."
THAT'S NOT HOW TAX BRACKETS WORK.
Let's say the first tax bracket is $10,000 at 10%. That means you fork over $1,000 to Uncle Sam and take home $9,000.
For the sake of simplicity, let's assume the next tax bracket is 20%. You are offered a raise of $500, making your total income $10,500.
This does not mean *the entire $10,500* is taxed at that 20% rate!
That first $10,000 is taxed at 10%...then the remaining $500 in the next tax bracket is taxed at 20% (which is $100).
Out of that $10,500, you fork over $1100, and take home $9,400. You take home $400 more!
**Never reject a raise *just* because it puts you in the next tax bracket. There is no such thing as taking home less money because you are "in" a higher tax bracket.**
Edit: this is *only* about tax brackets. There are still plenty of good reasons to reject a raise - i.e. benefits cliffs, pay not matching new workload, etc. I'm just here to say that "losing money because you get taxed more" *is not one of them*, because that doesn't exist/that's not how the tax brackets work.
Edit 2: this is also specific to the U.S. Not commenting on other countries' tax structures.
Marla Singer 2 years ago
I do my own taxes and none of this bracketing structure is evident during the filing process.
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StrangeOne 2 years ago
Even though I do my own income taxes I still wouldn't figure it out. I know enough where to put the numbers. How it's calculated and why is beyond me. But this puts things into a new light I hadn't realized.
Robert T 2 years ago
It's literally a 3 line spreadsheet. Imagine it like different sized buckets. You fill the first bucket and pay no tax on it. You fill the second bucked and give 10% of it in taxes. You part fill the third bucket and give 20% of that in taxes. The bigger your income, the more buckets it will fill, but you will never give more in tax on the first buckets just because you filled another bucket.
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Remi (He/Him) 2 years ago
Same thing with the Finnish income tax. Btw. people usually do their own taxes here. Or more accurately the local irs equivalent sends people a pre-filled tax proposal with income and standard deductions already in and you don't have to do anything unless it's missing something
msbrabant a 2 years ago
Please look up "alternative minimum tax". The AMT does affect ALL your income and is NOT graduated. States do this as well.
DeoManus Argentem 2 years ago
This mentality is not due to taxes but due to welfare benefits. If you make X you get free housing, food, medical care, childcare, etc. If you make X+1 you may get reductions on some of these benefits. Nothing to do with income tax, because those eligible don't pay income tax. It can be a valid concern, but has nothing to do with taxes.
Rahul Pawa 2 years ago
That is true, and also there are plenty of people who think getting a raise that moves you into the next tax bracket means you pay higher taxes on all income.
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Alex Deters 2 years ago (edited)
In the US all investment income can be taxed at higher rates depending on your marginal income tax bracket and total investment income in several ways. Except for the large number of circumstances the author added and mine it doesn’t apply. Taxes are complicated and it can affect a lot of things. This post is half wrong.
Rahul Pawa 2 years ago (edited)
Honestly, I'd prefer if my employer paid me more instead of paying for things on my behalf (payroll taxes, health insurance, 401k plan, etc). Just add that to my gross pay and let me take care of it.
Load More Replies... Fat Harry 2 years ago
It's the same virtually anywhere. Nowhere is going to make a payrise penalise you (except if you're in receipt of benefits that you'd lose because you're earning too much)
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Max Robitzsch 2 years ago
Frustratingly it IS true in some countries for poorer people because they may lose benefits / support payments if they get more than X salary a month. It's really screwed up.
Ericthedead 2 years ago (edited)
I have to pay my income tax myself.it’s not automatically taken out, got to make sure I put enough aside for taxes.. This got me in a bind my first yr as a consultant. It’s stupid how much I have to pay in taxes.
#18
"I have an idea. [Propose, announce pregnancy, come out, announce divorce] at [name]'s [wedding, funeral, birthday, birthing, reception, graduation]. No. You are stealing their attention and ruining it. If you do that, that is selfish.
Bonesko 2 years ago
Who would announce a divorce at a funeral? 'So,... Nana's dead, just like my marriage.'
Natalie Kelsey 2 years ago
I think it would be awful to propose, announce your pregnancy, come out and announce your divorce all at the same event. Devastating for everyone around you lol, except maybe the person you're running off with
Maltaros 2 years ago
Take an upvote. This was meant to be humorous and doesn't deserve the downvote.
Load More Replies... StrangeOne 2 years ago (edited)
It depends on the people you know. There are Brides and Grooms who don't mind not having all the attention on them all the time. I certainly don't. Besides, those announcements are noticed for 5 minutes and then the rest of the time the guests are just wanting to eat, get a few dances in, have a few drinks and go home. Oh yeah and eat some cake. Can't forget the cake.
Phil Amylon 2 years ago
Imagine living your life caring about stuff like this, like every day is some contest for attention, and there can only be one winner. BP is obsessed with the idea that other people can't celebrate a major life event at YOUR wedding, like proposing. If your family's joy upsets you, you're the problem.
The Silly Stellar Jay 2 years ago
Great thought. Except families are messy. If you get everyone together c**p will come out, good or bad.
B Lorax 2 years ago
I love the universal structure of this criticism, but some permutations don't seem so inherently wrong. Like telling your mom you're pregnant at her birthday could be a great extra present for many I think. Also, I'm unfamiliar with a "divorce announcement" ever being anything formal.
Michael Largey 2 years ago
I would never make an announcement at any of those events. When I make an announcement, I don't share the spotlight with anything or anyone.
Maltaros 2 years ago
Except that people are going to figure these things out anyway. Where's your husband? Why aren't you wearing your wedding ring? Why are you/your girlfriend wearing a nice engagement ring? An announcement of that sort (even low key) can head off a lot of unnecessary gossip. Let's face it, these things are only about the person at the center of the event for so long before it breaks down into gossip and "catch up on the news" stuff anyway.
#19
"Just be yourself" "you're perfect just the way you are" and "never let anyone change you" are double edged swords preventing many people from growing out of horrid habits or bad personality traits.
If a lot of people are telling you to change your behavior, chances are you're gonna f**k up your life if you dont pay attention.
LizzieBoredom 2 years ago
You have to be yourself because when you try to be someone else all you hear is "stop using my credit cards".
Sweet_Dee 2 years ago
They're just jealous they don't have a stronger sense of self 🤣
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Sweet_Dee 2 years ago (edited)
The key to this is the motive behind the advice. Is the person telling you to change doing so because they truly care about your well being? Or is it to serve their own motives? Also, true change must come from within. You can hear something a million times and it won't lead to change until you realize it as truth for yourself.
Heather Talma 2 years ago
Unless people don't like you "being yourself" because you're autistic and refuse to mask.
D. Pitbull 2 years ago
I've known a few people who have thrown this in everyone's face (about themselves... as in: "I'm not going to change for you, no one tells me to be someone else!!!") - but they only do that when they're called out for bad behaviour or when their demands are told 'no' or if their 'facts-pulled-from-a$$' are called out as incorrect. Then they whine about having no friends.
David 2 years ago (edited)
This is conditional advice not blanket advice. Example - More than once I've seen small groups of three or four girls walking at the mall - dressed in skimpy summer fashion. short tops / short skirt etc. Two of them you can tell are comfortable in their chosen dress. One girl is obviously uncomfortable, frequently pulling down slightly on her top or skirt etc. It's pretty obvious she dressed to "fit in" with the other girls to be accepted. In that situation I would say she should be herself and dress how she is comfortable. But bigger picture advice would be to ACCEPT yourself, while still striving to be a better version of yourself. EDIT: INB4 - I don't go to the mall to stare at young women. But I do observe people in general.
#20
There's no real catchy way to put it, but the sentiment that your life revolves around your job. You don't have to have a "career" or be ultra-successful in your field. You just have to have a job that lets you earn enough money to enjoy your life and achieve all the things you want to do outside of work.
GirlFriday 2 years ago
I have always subscribed to the "work to live, don't live to work" school of thought. I am in upper management and I have a great career. Not once in the 10 years that I have been with this company has anyone made me feel like taking time off would hurt my career or put me behind. I do my best to make my employees feel the same way. If they are sick, they should stay home and rest. If they have PTO, they should take it. They can't be productive at work if they are burnt out and disgruntled. I have them for 8 hours a day, that is enough.
mishiibeshi 2 years ago
I sincerely hope you are in the US! If so, please impart this wisdom on as many people as possible. Considering the state of workers "rights" here, people in management with your ability to understand what you wrote are scarce but so desperately needed.
Load More Replies... StrangeOne 2 years ago
It's also okay not to have any career goals. Like, "What do you want to be?" I want to be happy and be able to do the things I want to do that doesn't involve making money. I don't mind just having a job. Seems those are hard to come by these days.
Naesil 🇫🇮 2 years ago
I want to have enough money to live comfortably, and hopefully at some point be able to buy my hidey hole cabin somewhere in the nature.
Load More Replies... Thor Haugen 2 years ago
The CEO at a company I used to work for said that you shouldn't live to work, you work to live. Of course, they got bought out by a larger company and I left. I guess the culture is completely gone; still good friends with many old coworkers.
C C 2 years ago
however, if u have the intelligence to change the world for the better and u dont, that’s a waste of purpose
StrangeOne 2 years ago
You can change the world without it involving a business.
Load More Replies... David 2 years ago
You can have a career and still not make your life revolve around your job. A career is - "an occupation undertaken for a significant period of a person's life and with opportunities for progress." And you should strive for some version of that because the alternative is frequently a string of entry level jobs that usually don't go anywhere. Or another way to view it is having a career makes it more likely you can leave the work force sooner.
Julie Zugz 2 years ago
YES! This! I struggled so hard to succeed as a teacher, finally left and found a job outside of that field. I make less $$$, but the stress level is almost nothing and i never have to take work home. Plus, I enjoy my co-workers more than I did my students.
Kenny Kulbiski 2 years ago
I've never had a career. Just jobs. On the plus side it seems it was easier for me to retire than it was for my friends that had " careers " .
Naesil 🇫🇮 2 years ago (edited)
This seem to be more cultural, and very prevalent in US (from what I see and hear) not so much in here. Of course there is highly driven career oriented people here too but in general its not be-all end-all, work-life balance is very important for most people here.
#21
You can’t run away from your problems/bloom where you’re planted. Not always bad advice, but sometimes you absolutely do need to leave a toxic environment before your life can improve
Sonja 2 years ago (edited)
A plant may be able to bloom on a heap of s**t, but a human is not a plant and will definitely get sick from that s**t of they don't leave the pile!
Jeremy James 2 years ago
If plants had the ability to perambulate after sprouting, many of them would look for a more suitable spot for themselves.
Load More Replies... David 2 years ago
Better advice would be you can't run from your problem(s) if your problem is you. I know someone who has been doing this for several years now. I have hopes they will start to see the pattern of how the same general problems in their life keep occurring over and over and always blaming others is not the solution.
Rahul Pawa 2 years ago (edited)
Running away from your problems only works if you don't take them with you. Unfortunately, many times the person running has their own issues to deal with. If they move and don't work on their issues, they will find themselves in the same situation again.
Vonny 2 years ago
To me, those two phrases don't belong together. I've never heard them put together that way. The ' Bloom where you're planted' advice means something entirely different than the old saying 'you can't run from your probs' . Bloom where you're planted is a positive, sensible bit of advice. Basically it's meaning translates into 'Do the best you can do', no matter the circumstances you've no control over. aka Acceptance. It doesn't mean tolerance. When I had to work at a job I didn't like much, as I had bills to pay, I did the best I could at that job, later moved on to a better job. Situations like that maybe, I've always thought of 'Bloom where you're planted' as positive.
#22
“Practice makes perfect.”
No it doesn’t. Practice makes permanent. If you continuously repeat shoddy work, you’ll just become very efficient at making that shoddy work, and it’ll be hard for you to ever improve.
Practice along with introspection, analysis, and feedback makes perfect.
Randolph Croft 2 years ago
Voltaire said something to the effect: "Perfection is the enemy of good." Striving for perfection can be foolish, and you might have already passed by 'excellence' without benefitting from it.
GoldfishCrackers 2 years ago
Was anyone else inflicted with hearing the piano piece “Waterfall” over and over in their youth? So many people growing up thought they were great pianists because they could play it. Most weren’t. Yeah, they practiced the song a ton, but that didn’t mean they played it, or the piano, well. Crappy time keeping, lack of dynamics, playing faster than their fingers could keep up, poor posture/form. Argggg. Annoys me even thinking about it 20 years later. 🤣
Jo Slatermill 2 years ago
Again I think this is taken to literally. this is a phrase not meant for every day scenarios, but things you learn to do and need to learn harder to advance. it's not about perfect, it's about the fact practicing in those cases teaches your brain to do them without thinking, thus letting you think on other elements of the "job".
#23
"If you work harder than everyone else, you'll *always* get what you want."
No. Just no.
Sometimes s**t happens. Hard work doesn't guarantee success. Some people, though untalented and lazy, cruise through life. And some people who work hard every single day struggle to make ends meet. There's no guarantee that hard work will get you to where you want to be.
Edit: Okay this blew up overnight and I feel like I should clarify some things. The emphasis here was on the word "always". You don't *always* get what you want. Yes, hard work is important and necessary in life. But you don't *always* get what you want just by working hard. If I wanted to be as rich as Jeff Besos tomorrow, I wouldn't be able to do it *just by working hard*. Maybe I can do it, maybe I can't. But I'm going to need a lot more than hard work to get me there. Some other things you also need are perseverance, resilience, discipline and a good plan. You don't *always* get what you want by *only* working hard. That being said, yes, hard work is important, kids. So is working smart. Have there been people who have succeeded without having to work hard? Yes. Have there been people who have received opportunities that the "hard-worker" did not get simply because they were born richer or they had better connections? Absolutely. Have there been people who have succeeded by working hard? I sure hope so. But hard work doesn't guarantee that you will get exactly what you want all the time.
Jeremy James 2 years ago
We have this myth in our culture that billionaires and the wealthy are in their position because they are geniuses, work harder than anyone else, and are just "better" in some special kind of way. And it's not true. It's just generational wealth and nepotism. I thought we covered this in the 1983 film, "Trading Places," but evidently it still needs to be said.
Naesil 🇫🇮 2 years ago
Yeah, Im sure most of them do work hard (the ones that actually continue to make money year after year) but to say its only hard work is bs Elon Musks family had emerald mine so not really a start from poverty, Jeff Bezos did have a successful career before Amazon (i think) but he also had willing investors even when he estimated that there was 70% chance Amazon will fail. Bill Gates while probably genius programmer, also had connections through her mother that allowed him to get the first big deals. Now if I was put in any of their shoes would I have been as successful? Nah no way Im too undriven :D, but lots of other people who work hard and never getting anywhere probably would have.
Load More Replies... Naesil 🇫🇮 2 years ago
Yeah billion is such huge scale that people dont understand it, "its just one letter different form million", I can see working really hard can get you to million, but no amount of work is getting you to a billion without luck also. Million seconds is about 12 days, billion seconds is about 32 YEARS
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Penny Fan 2 years ago
You know what makes you as rich as Jeff Bezos? Luck. Pure simple luck. No amount of "hard work" will get you to that level without luck. And define "hard work". No-one works harder than subsistence farmers in a 3rd world country and what do they have?
HarriMissesScotland 2 years ago
When I left my last job, they had to hire 5 people to replace me. I warned them, but they wouldn't listen.
Jill Bussey 2 years ago
I think the pandemic has brought this home to a lot of hard working people.
Ericthedead 2 years ago
More often than not if you work hard you will succeed. Or at least be a lot better off than if you don’t.
Thomas Ewing 2 years ago
Attitude and education are the only things we truly 'own'. You don't need a Ph.D to succeed, but a positive attitude will take you far. Don't worry about looks or "keeping up". Just be right with the Cosmos and you are in like Flynn.
#24
I kind of have "no excuses" drilled into me but...sometimes there are legit reasons why you can't do something.
Also, not everything has a Hollywood ending. Sometimes you can't do something, sometimes you fail and have to give up. Being realistic about that isn't a bad thing.
Fantastic Mr Fox 2 years ago
Am I missing a joke with "bussy" or can't people spell "busy" anymore? Also don't google "bussy".
kitten levels tokyo 2 years ago
My guess is the person in the photo is feeling like a large vehicle that carries people to and from prearranged stops for a set fee. Just a theory.
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lauralett50 2 years ago
I think it's actually, about the ability to say NO. And be okay saying No. You don't have to be a yes person. You can say No . Imo.
Jane Doe 2 years ago
I read this entry and immediately thought “no is a full sentence.” Many times you don’t need a reason to tell someone no, but we feel like we have to have one. “I’m bus(s)y?” “Doing what? It will only take X time, effort.”
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Seabeast 2 years ago
I never feel bussy. Occasionally I feel sort of taxi-ish, mind.
Load More Replies... Thegoodboi 2 years ago
There is ALWAYS an excuse. Sorry can't make it into work today. I died...
Quentin ingulfumble 2 years ago
confidence in your own abilities is important. almost as important as knowing your own limitations
Andy Frobig 2 years ago
In 8th grade, I got an A in science by writing an essay about why I didn't build an aerodynamic bike like I was supposed to. I'm so good at excuses that I should have gone into politics.
the shrimp whisperer 2 years ago
what is this photo though?? WHAT DOES IT HAVE TO DO WITH THIS???
#25
"If you do what you love, you will never work a day in your life."
Many people use this advice thinking they'll be able to easily coast through life and are shocked when they have to face the reality of it being an actual job. When you do something that you love as a career rather than as a hobby, it becomes much more serious and has more responsibilities. Sometimes it can even lead to you hating the thing you used to love.
This isn't to discourage anyone who wants to pursue a career in something they enjoy, like a photographer or a chef. If you want to have a career doing something you enjoy, that's great. But you have to go in knowing that it won't be all sunshine and rainbows 100% of the time. There will be difficulties from time to time and you won't have the same amount of freedom that you used to have when it was just a hobby. As long as you go in knowing that and are willing to adapt and work hard, you'll be fine.
V 2 years ago
That's why I took the redundancy at my old job. Loved the job, hated the politics.
Load More Replies... GirlFriday 2 years ago
I absolutely love my job, and most days, I am in disbelief that I get money to do what I love. That being said, it is 1000% work. If they stopped paying me, I would stop coming here. I would be sad and I would miss it, but I wouldn't do this for free.
Joe Russo 2 years ago
I love teaching. My students are always quite shocked to learn that I think if you can find a career that is 70% stuff you love, and 30% dumb s***, you've "made it." This is usually in the context of some of them not wanting to do the parts of their own school work/school life that are unavoidably tedious (or involve a teacher they find boring or annoying). Good luck finding that career with no tedious, crappy parts and no tedious, crappy people kids...
Chucky Cheezburger 2 years ago
Yeah, if you love doing something, making a job out of it I going to make into something you *have* to do instead of something you *want* to do. Just takes all the fun out of it.
Khavrinen 2 years ago
I haven't been able to find any way to get paid for reading books with a cat on my lap.
David 2 years ago
I doubt there are many people who love doing what they love every single day. Famous authors / musicians / artists / actors and so on will tell you about times they needed a break or just were not feeling it. I honestly loved working in IT and many mornings (most even) I felt good about going to work. But it was still work and some days it was drudgery and clock watching. I loved the job because those days were the exceptions but it was still going to work.
Wintermute 2 years ago
I wish someone would have told me this before I sunk $30k into an art degree. Sometimes your hobbies are just fine as hobbies. No need to commodify everything you do just because we live in a s****y culture that doesn't validate anything that comes without a profit.
The Starsong Princess 2 years ago
Life is a lot easier if you have a job you like vs one you hate. It’s still work but it’s more tolerable.
DragonflyGreen 2 years ago
Disagree. I love my job. It is easier to enjoy because I do. I think the proper quote should be "If you are offered the opportunity to do something you love - and if it pays an acceptable rate, you will never work a day in your life." Unfortunately, so many beloved jobs pay way too little. I just happened to jump on the opportunities that presented themselves, and I was clueless as to how it would turn out.
Rachel Grig 2 years ago
I absolutely agree. A friend of mine has been pressuring me to start a sewing business (after seeing my work), and I keep telling her that if I have to do it to get paid, it will suck all the enjoyment out of it.
#26
"Getting a 4-year degree is essential for a successful career"
Acquiring marketable skills in a field you enjoy is what matters, not spending X amount of time in college. Many 4-year degrees leave you with very few skills that are needed in the job market, while many trade school programs only take a few months and put you on the track to a high paying job.
Spencer's slave 2 years ago
Get a trade instead. Far cheaper, or free, and the world will always need trades people. Apprenticeships, once the backbone of trades, are becoming more available and accessible. Also, if you have a "manual labour" job that you enjoy and are good at, stick two fingers up at people who look down their noses at you! After all, the person with the oh so important degree, whose whole life is dictated by their very important career, wouldn't have a nicely manicured lawn or clean windows etc without you.
Chucky Cheezburger 2 years ago
This. I started out as a machinist. Did that for 17 years, then moved to industrial maintenance. I dont have a degree, hell, never went or thought about going to college.
Load More Replies... GirlFriday 2 years ago
I love to hire people that are willing to come in at entry level and learn the business. They turn out to be the best employees. I have had several people start entry level for me, learn the business and then move up in the company and into other departments. I never ask for a college degree. I ask for someone that is willing to learn and to be held accountable.
The Doom Song 2 years ago
Get into a trade. And hey we will all need an electrician or plumber at some point in our lives.
LizzieBoredom 2 years ago (edited)
College is great as long as you make enough money to afford a Plumber.
Ericthedead 2 years ago (edited)
Nope. I make really good money as a consultant in the oilfield and I dropped out of college after a semester. But worked my a*s off for yrs to get here and some of the guys with the same job I have got a degree instead of putting in the yrs of experience. They are lost when they first come out to the location. Experience is better than an education in some cases.But in some cases you need a degree for the career you want and sometimes you can be successful with taking up a trade at a vocational school. Guess it just depends on where you want to be and what you want to do.
Sheila Carty 2 years ago
I have been passed over for several jobs because I don't have a degree despite the fact that you can't get a degree in what I do. Some employers just want to see any old degree.
Mickysixxx 2 years ago
We teach Vocational Education at my school where I used to train kids and they'd get a Cert II in horticulture. They'd have to at least complete 2 more years of study to be fully qualified. It still take 4yrs study to be a fully qualified tradesman wether it be at a school or in a apprenticeship. Personally I'd always take the young fella that learnt on the job over the guy that completed bookwork and did a couple of gardens
#27
I think the pursuit for perfection, especially in the age of social media. Aiming for an ideal 8 hours of sleep, all fresh veg/fruit/wholegrain diet, perfect study and work habits with Instagram shots of colour coded notes, expensive skin care routine, 1.5L of water a day, getting up at 5 AM for a run, abstaining from all vices.
It's good to strive to be the best version of yourself, but the unnecessary pressure to excel at all these things seem detrimental more than anything else. I put a lot of time/effort into work and am good at my job, I have great physical and mental health. If I want to eat doughnuts with vodka shots at 11 PM, or stay up watching Bob's Burgers until 2 AM, or skip my run and head to work, I should be able to do that sometimes. Wellness is not a competition, and an elastic band stretched far enough will snap.
Remi (He/Him) 2 years ago
Just a reminder that orthorexia is a disorder and it sounds heck of a lot like this bad advice
crowspectre 2.0 (he/they) 2 years ago
I wish my mom understood this. She has an obsession with health and can't really understand that 1) I need anxiety meds and insomnia meds, in not addicted I have health problems and 2) I'm pretty noticeably thin and underweight and just because she is too doesn't mean it's normal or good. She's completely obsessed with having a perfect, healthy life (she has like five charts on the fridge on what foods are and aren't okay and it's f*****g insane)
Sharon Ingram 2 years ago
Don’t forget perfect lips, tips, brows, lashes, nails, tan, hair, etc.
Quentin ingulfumble 2 years ago
moderation in all things. this by definition includes excess. sometimes donuts and vodka are exactly what you need and really will do you good
#28
"They're family! Let it go!"
My dad (who is a doctor) watched as I got a viral infection that spread to my brain and I went blind and deaf. He called my mom and said I'd be dead by the time he got home from work the next day. My sister (who hasn't spoken to him since middle school) had to break into his house, find me, call 911. Dad was mad that she broke in, said nothing about me.
Luke Branwen 2 years ago
Family is like an appendix. You do have only one, but if it becomes toxic and dangerous, you cut it off.
GirlFriday 2 years ago
I like this saying and will be stealing it for my own use. Thank you!
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robin aldrich 2 years ago (edited)
WHAT THE ACTUAL F@#K? ( Not only Horrible father but doctor violating the Hippocratic Oath)
Seabeast 2 years ago (edited)
She says he has narcissistic personality disorder.
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Neuridivergent 2 years ago
Dad should have had his medical license revoked. I assume he lost custodial rights.
MrsFettesVette 2 years ago
I strongly urge anyone with questions about this comment to click over to reddit and see what happened. It's a roller coaster (but the OP is doing ok all things considered).
B Lorax 2 years ago
So much missing from this story - is the writer still blind and deaf? How old was he when this happened? Where was mom at the time? How old was his sister? How did the sister avoid speaking to him from middle school before she became an adult? If she was under age was she emancipated? Was the writer?
StrangeOne 2 years ago
Families are like little cults you're either invited to join or born into. RUN
DragonflyGreen 2 years ago
Yeah. I cut my toxic baby sis off 16 years ago, my toxic mother off 13 years ago, and my toxic next-youngest sis 7 years ago. Best decisions I ever made. Go be toxic somewhere else.
laura lee 2 years ago
👏 👏 👏 I applaud you. I wish I had cut mine off sooner.
Load More Replies... laura lee 2 years ago
Probably to make some b******t point only his warped mind could think of.
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Cerridwn d'Wyse 2 years ago
Family is where you make it it's where you find it it's where you take it. what I call family and what you call family may not be the same thing. You can't change the biology you can change who is your family
#29
"Tip your head back to stop a nosebleed"
Don't do that. Tip your head slightly forward with a kerchief pressed under your nose and allow the blood to clot.
Gourdeous 2 years ago (edited)
Pinch for 3 minutes on the squishy bit above your nostrils and below the bony bit. Don't keep checking if it has stopped- just squeeze. Neutral head position is fine.The bleeding spot needs to clot. Once it stops, don't blow hard or go fishing or wipe/clean roughly- you don't want to dislodge the clot.
N Miller 2 years ago
I'm overtired. I was genuinely confused by "go fishing" and wondered what a canal side hobby had to do with nose bleeds...
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Ericthedead 2 years ago
I just learned this recently. I’ve started getting nosebleeds for some reason. Wake up bleeding everywhere . Tried tilting my head back and swallowed so much blood I puked so I googled it and learned the correct way.
Jozie de Roo 2 years ago
Nederlands boekje! : ) Ik had vroeger bijna elke dag een bloedneus. (Dutch book! : ) I had, when I was younger, almost everyday a nosbleed.)
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
I was going to google to check whether it was Dutch, Vlaams or Afrikaans.
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Šimon Špaček 2 years ago
There are many things you can do. I prefer to wash my nose with cold water, but I heard that smelling wick of burning candle will do the trick too.
Naesil 🇫🇮 2 years ago
When I was younger I used to have nose bleed all the time, apparently my blood vessels in my nose are thin or on the surface or something.. cant remember, and when I was active and hit my nose etc. it would bleed. (for the shortish period I did boxing we were considering burning the blood vessels in my nostrils, because pretty much every training session resulted in nose bleed :D) Easiest solution for me was just to jam some toilet paper up my nose and continue what I was doing normally, after few minutes it usually clotted and it was fine.
Phoebe 2 years ago
I get these really bad bloody noses, and some of the things people say are just weird. This one girl wanted me to lay on the ground and punch me in the back to make it stop. Of course I didn't let her do this, she saw on a tik tok. So another good thing to add on is DON'T TRUST EVERYTHING ON THE INTERNET!
#30
Not posted on reddit much, but almost any boomer advice is useless in 2020. **-Just go up to the manager, shake their hand, and ask for a job!** *They will think you are weird and tell you to apply online* **-Keep asking out that love interest over and over! You'll wear them down!** *Borders on stalking and is likely a giant waste of time that won't turn into a lasting relationship* **-Pull up your bootstraps and work a part-time job to pay for college/a home!** *College and homes have gotten markedly more expensive and wages have stagnated for the past 30 years*
HarriMissesScotland 2 years ago
As a Boomer, those words would never cross my lips. Other than my age, I have none of the negative attributes to them.
kitten levels tokyo 2 years ago
I believe the so-called funny catchphrase “Boomers are like tumors, they both grow on you after a while” is not funny at all.
Seabeast 2 years ago
This is "boomer" advice? I'm a boomer and I've literally never heard any of these things coming from someone in my age group. Maybe our parent's (born in the 1930s) cohort, but not from anyone born mid to late 50s.
JMC5003 2 years ago
I'm right there with you. I'm so sick of boomer-bashing! I read about all these things that are supposedly typical boomer speak, but I've never said that stuff nor have any of my friends. I'm fully aware how hard it is for literally anyone to survive these days, much less to flourish. And I'm fully aware that my generation played a major part in allowing that to happen in the US. The 20- and 30-something folks I know are absolutely amazing human beings; it is my hope that their brilliance and determination will somehow save this country and this earth from the wreck we've left them with. We should have done better, but I'm certainly not guilty of judging younger generations nor belittling their struggles with stupid suggestions.
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liam newton-harding 2 years ago
The thing about the phrase, "Pull yourself up by your bootstraps" is the people who enjoy using it don't actually realise that it relates to something impossible to achieve, that it can not be done. It derives from the original, "Tales of Baron Munchausen" when the Baron, while riding his horse, got stuck in some quicksand, and proceeded to lift himself AND his horse by grabbing his queue (a style of male ponytail) and tugging up on it, lifting them both out of the quicksand...which is impossible.
Michael Largey 2 years ago
When people talk about pulling yourself by your own bootstraps, I make two requests. (1) "Please get some boots, and try it yourself." (2) "Can I take a video of it?"
Load More Replies... Steve Robert 2 years ago
Spoken like a true twenty something who still knows everything there is to know
Michael Largey 2 years ago
Between twenty-somethings and myself, we encompass all of human knowledge. They know everything that can be known, and I know the rest.
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WonderWoman 2 years ago
Referring to people by silly groups i.e. Boomer, millennials, GenZ is ridiculous.
Naesil 🇫🇮 2 years ago (edited)
It would not be if used correctly.. its just based on year range you were born, should not be more or less than that. "Baby boomers are anyone born from 1946 to 1964. Millennials are anyone born from 1981 to 1996. Generation Z is anyone born from 1997 to 2012." Its not state of mind, or your behavior that defines in which group you belong (like people try to claim) only when you were born.
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Todd Campbell 2 years ago
Wait.. you want to p**s off your boss or a judge on a case you’re part of? Good luck kid. You’ll need it.
Load More Replies... #31
Play hard to get.
Most of the time, playing hard to get just guarantees that both of you are going to end up alone. The dating world is competitive and few people have the time to constantly pursue someone who is not demonstrating any interest. Stop playing these silly games and show a little interest back. You will be giving yourself many more opportunities with people you otherwise might have missed out on.
Paulo Freitas 2 years ago
Play hard to get with me and we're done, i may be very interested in you, i'l invite you out once, you either accept it ( if for any reason you can't that day we can reschedual it ) or you don't, if you don't, i Will NEVER invite you again, i don't play with people, i sure as f**k and not gonna be played with.
Lisa H 2 years ago
This! I don't have the time or patience for these BS games.
Load More Replies... DragonflyGreen 2 years ago
That's just stupid. Be yourself. This is as bad advice as "If a boy is mean to you, that means he likes you!" Gaslighting and manipulative. Toxic.
Lara Verne 2 years ago
This was advice young girls got - men like to conquer, play hard to get. Meanwhile, young guys got different advice- women like to be conquered, if she rejects you, try again. Please don't listen to it. It's bullsh*t.
Squirrelly Panda 2 years ago
This is a difficult line. Absolutely don't stalk, don't pursue someone uninterested. But sometimes people are clueless about when someone is attracted to them and get caught flat-footed. If you are truly interested and think that might be the case, then maybe wait a few days, then ask if they might be interested and be clear no is ok, you won't pursue after a no, but if yes, then ask about date.
Beruthiel45 2 years ago
Be honest, and be yourself. It's amazing how well that works in relationships.
#32
Telling kids to "follow your dreams" and "you can be anything if you work hard enough".
Sometimes you need to admit that even if something is your dream and you're willing to work for it, you may not have the necessary talent you need to succeed and should just keep it as a hobby. Hard work is important, but so is natural ability.
I have a friend with dreams of being a successful actress, her parents keep telling her if she believes then she can do it and she has talent and should follow her heart. While she's not bad... She's not great. She couldn't get into drama school, went to university to do something else and graduated with a poor grade because she spent all of her time focusing on the drama society. Now she's been in and out of service jobs still trying audition after audition with almost no success. Instead she could have been building a career in another field and joined an amateur dramatic group to maintain her love for it while not wasting her life chasing an impossible dream.
Plus there's the whole issue of it being a very difficult, unstable job where you need connections to go far.
crowspectre 2.0 (he/they) 2 years ago
Yeah. I'm a writer and artist, both of which I'm not bad at, but I definitely have an actual job plan. There's always a chance I might get big and get a lot 9f money from writing, but I'd rather not live my life on a tiny chance
Ches Yamada 2 years ago
I feel this big time. I'm a writer and an artist and before Covid ripped my lungs up, I sang as well. None of those are well paying jobs unless you get extremely lucky.
Load More Replies... Jill Bussey 2 years ago
I don't know the actual numbers/percentages, but the number of artistes who actually make it big, compared to the number of hopefuls must be infinitesimally small.
Ericthedead 2 years ago (edited)
Isn’t this the same as 25 about working hard and you can accomplish anything?
MorgothBauglir 2 years ago
TEM or Business Degrees. Love art? Go TEM or Business. Love theater? Major in TEM or Business. Hate TEM or Business? Still, major in TEM or Business.
Maltaros 2 years ago
It's not just artistic jobs. At one point in my life I really wanted to be a doctor in a small backwater town with lots of logging and outdoor activities. I worked at a restaurant to pay my way through college and discovered I hated the sight of open wounds. No matter how hard I wanted to do that I couldn't. We aren't all built to do whatever we want to do.
#33
"you'll figure it out"... Like, nah, I won't, that's why I asked
Tyke 2 years ago
My boss was sent on a Management course and they taught to her to answer a question with a question to "help people figure it out". Well, they sent me on it too, so I'd ask a question, then she did, then I did... and it went on. Finally I pointed out I'm a grown a*s adult and if I knew the answer I wouldn't be wasting our time.
Not-a-Clue-What-to-Call-Myself 2 years ago (edited)
At 56 I'm still waiting to make sense of the things my mum said I'd understand when I was older.
Stephanie Did It 2 years ago
Those things she said are based on her own experiences. If you haven't had the same ones, then it won't make sense to you. Sometimes it helps if you picture yourself in her position at the time to discern what was meant. Sometimes not.
Load More Replies... StrangeOne 2 years ago
I hate that. Sure I'll figure it out... Eventually... maybe not safely.....
#34
"Ignore what others think of you." Human interaction is a cornerstone of our existence and depending on how well you're liked among others determines the relative ease of how well you're able to get through life. Being mindful of others and their feelings should inform your thoughts and actions to a certain extent. There are obviously exceptions but to simply outright ignore everybody and just maintain your course no matter what is not good advice.
Theoretical Empiricist 2 years ago
Kind of goes with "What other people think of me isn't my business". If I'm any way reliant on that person or that person relies on me, what they think of me is VERY much my business!
kitten levels tokyo 2 years ago
The definition of sociopath is pretty close to "Ignore what others think of you."
StrangeOne 2 years ago (edited)
I don't live my life at the accord of others expectations. I've got a mom to do that. And I HATE it.
Maltaros 2 years ago
Then your life is going to suck. Sorry, but as pointed out, you depend on what others think of you whether you like it or not. Teachers, bosses, co-workers, etc. all have opinions of you and they all influence how well you do.
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#35
“A bad workman always blames his tools”- sometimes the thing you’re using is the problem, rather than it being user-error, and sometimes practice isn’t enough to make up the shortfall
kitten levels tokyo 2 years ago
I think this one is not really a Life Pro Tip and more of A Saying the poster does not agree with.
Sonja 2 years ago
This is misunderstood. This saying means that no matter how good a tool is, a bad workman will always just blame the tool and not do some introspection and work on themselves. It is absolutely true. A good workman will sometimes fail due to bad circumstances or tools, but hell know in time when things go wrong and make adjustments or just get a better tool. And if they really fail, it will be sometimes, not always.
Beruthiel45 2 years ago
I always despised this saying. Ask any poor person how much they'd love to buy the best products available. Artists, crafters, knitters, sewers, artisans.. we all know the cheap c**p won't do as good a job as well made and good quality tools, and this is true for any trade, we all save up to buy better as we can afford it.
Ericthedead 2 years ago (edited)
This is kind of like anything. Some people always have an excuse when they lose or fail. Like saying this pool cue isn’t straight or these darts aren’t regulation that’s why you bet me.
#36
"Travel while you're young and not tied down!"
While its great if** you can afford it, it has been offered in my experience chiefly by people who have folks to fall back on. Travelling the world until you are broke is not a good life pro tip if you get stranded with no one to bail you out at the end.
HarriMissesScotland 2 years ago
My first trip to the UK was when I was 25 and I took out a student loan as we received 9 credits for the experience. There was actual work to be done, but I have to admit it was the best college experience I had. My mother, who grew up in the depression, thought it was a bad idea. She had always wanted to travel but said she would wait until she retired. Well, she had a heart attack that she never fully recovered from. I explained that I meant no disrespect, but I wanted to travel while I could. And I continued to travel until I was in a head-on collision that left me disabled and with $0 disposable income. I am going to the beach for 4 days, paid for by my sister. The beach is my happy place.
Lou Cam 2 years ago
I find it crazy that people actually want to travel to the UK. I've lived here all my life and see it as rather ordinary until I catch someone's insta pictures and think, oh yeah it kind of does look nice. Still, wouldn't you rather go to France or Italy?
Load More Replies... Fantastic Mr Fox 2 years ago
Another option: Living and working in other countries is very interesting. You are a tourist alright, but you get paid instead of spending money!
Lulu Montgommery 2 years ago
It's much harder to be an intrepid traveller with young children. Financially and logistically
Load More Replies... Ericthedead 2 years ago
If you can travel while young do not turn it down. It’s fun to travel when you’re older but nothing like when you are young. Do not let opportunities pass you by and say oh I’ve got plenty of time when I’m older cause you may not. Travel and see the world as much as possible.
Dutchman Callypso 2 years ago
Or I just don't want to travel. That's the hardest thing to explain, that traveling gives me anxiety and I find nothing enjoyable about it. But it's also a valid opinion.
R Dennis 2 years ago
I grew up in poverty, but I started to travel as soon as I started earning my own money - mostly driving at first. No one is saying travel until you're broke, just travel. I am an expert dealfinder, and never pay anywhere near what I have heard others pay. I am now much better off financially than I was back then, but now I need a wheelchair to travel. I don't regret prioritizing travel over other things when I was younger.
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
I'm 50 with a high-paying job and I can't afford it. So... nah, this is really advice for kids of literal billionaires.
#37
“Follow your heart” - we have a brain for a reason. Our hearts are fickle and what may seem like love may just be infatuation, etc. Understanding what you are feeling and why is important, as well as realizing that some commitments are worth it to push through the difficult times when our hearts aren’t in it.
Ericthedead 2 years ago
In reality we only think with our brain. Following your heart is just a saying. It should say to be realistic and stay rational.
#38
Saying hang in there to depressed people
Blurryface 2 years ago
Dark chuckle… as a formerly depressed person, this is my kind of humor.
kitten levels tokyo 2 years ago
Ha ha. HANG in there bucko. Just keep HANGING on. Here is my favorite rope, can you hold onto it for me while I go on vacation? Yes, dark humor.
Load More Replies... Charley128 2 years ago
Dark reply. Hanging no, Nitrogen Hypoxia maybe. Said by a current MDD sufferer.
Andrei Marentette 2 years ago
saying hang in there is for people who get to the next level of depression
#39
there was a quote that was thrown around a lot, it was something like “a ship only sinks when it lets water in”, meaning if you don’t let negativity get to you, you’ll be fine.
It’s total bull. Of course you can’t let one single negative comment destroy your confidence, but I’ve always thought this could easily be misunderstood and used to shame people who are depressed because they have a lot of s**t going on in their lives. If you’re surrounded by negativity, it will get to you sooner or later and there is no shame in that, it’s not your fault.
kitten levels tokyo 2 years ago
No depressed person ever benefited by being made to feel the depression was their fault.
Charley128 2 years ago (edited)
Or being told they were just faking it. By the negative people suffocating them.
Load More Replies... Margaret H 2 years ago
A very kind old psychiatrist once said, "Sometimes, insanity is the only sane reaction to an insane situation."
StrangeOne 2 years ago
A ship doesn't LET water in. Something damages the ship from underneath and makes an unrepairable hole that gets water in and sinks the ship. Nothing can be done.
Auntriarch 2 years ago
Exactly. So if life torpedoes you, you have every right to be soggy
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Nonna_SoF 2 years ago
It might not sink without water in it, but it can capsize, break apart, catch on fire, run aground, possibly explode depending on the ship, and a myriad of other dangers that cause admission of water and sinking. Oh also if you go into a sealed space on a steel ship without proper precautions you can drop dead from hypoxia.
#40
"Marriage/long term partnership is a LOT OF WORK. You have to work at it every day!" Bullf**kings**t. Your relationship should make your life better and easier. Sure, there will be hard times. But it should be easy to be with someone MOST of the time. It shouldn't be "a lot of hard work" or "something you have to work at every day." Most problems should be the two of you vs the problem, and most of the hard times should be things life throws at you that you help each other through. You should not constantly be trying to make your marriage work. If your relationship is difficult, it may have just run its course. Marriage/being with someone SHOULD BE EASY. Edit: Some of y'all are REALLY defensive. Examine why.
darqemm 2 years ago
I disagree. It shouldn't be hard work every day, but it takes conscious effort to stay connected and work things out as issues arise.
Sonja 2 years ago
Yes, that. You need to put in some effort. And you need to do so every day. But maintaining a relationship it's just like maintaining a garden. Here and there you have to work a day and there's always some maintenance to do but of you're behind it and take care regularly, and when your partner,, the other gardener does their fair share of the work, you shouldn't have to do hard work all the time and mostly enjoy the fruits and flowers which there should be plenty. And pretty often you and your partner should just sit there, looking at it and be happy that it's there, blooming and growing. If it's hard work all the time and you've to hustle constantly you're doing something wrong or the other gardener, your partner, doesn't do their part to maintain the garden. In both cases you need to take action, if you and your partner both work hard on it but it's not helping, get help and find out what you're doing wrong, but sometimes it's better to leave and find a better place to start anew.
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Not-a-Clue-What-to-Call-Myself 2 years ago
I definitely agree. I've been with my hubby for 25 years, and it isn't hard work at all.
StrangeOne 2 years ago
There's a difference between being in a difficult relationship and working hard at a relationship. No, it shouldn't feel like it's necessarily hard work every day, but what is meant is putting effort in it. If the relationship is easy-breezy, lemon squeezy then something is off. Just because you live with someone you love doesn't mean you love every aspect of each other and can tolerate each other's habits. There's always going to be something that doesn't jive and disagreements happen. Communication is a constant development.
Hey! 2 years ago
My marriage with my husband is not hard work and he doesn't think it is either. We sat down for 5 hours before deciding to go out together - the goal would be to get married - to check what would be the deal breakers. We both had an extensive list. The rest didn't matter. Choose your battle and do discuss what's important for you.
robin aldrich 2 years ago
Maybe "hard" work is a little strong a term... but the romantic notion that you fall in love and you commit to each other and it's all Happily ever after is wrong also ...it does take working WITH each other BOTH partners to make it run.
Kat'sPJs 2 years ago
If it feels like hard work then maybe that's a problem. But a little effort every day... An unexpected kiss or pat on the butt or candles at dinner. It's different for everybody. Find out what little thins make your SO happy. That's the work
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Kaitlyn Lindsay 2 years ago
I disagree. My husband and I have a wonderful marriage but between the depression, ADHD, anxiety and PTSD it is a lot of work but so worth it. We help each other through our shiz and support each other.
Elchinero 2 years ago
Bullf**kings**t. Your relationship should make your life better and easier. TOO TRUE
Kat'sPJs 2 years ago
Yes it should. But it won't without some effort on both parts
Load More Replies... #41
Never change a running system. Heard it so many times at work it almost makes me vomit when hearing it. IMO its just a excuse for being to lazy to make something better even a tiny little bit cause "it works so far why should I change something?"
BlackestDawn 2 years ago
I know what you mean, but there is a difference between fixing something and improving/optimizing it.
Load More Replies... robin aldrich 2 years ago (edited)
I have to add context to this one...I've had many bosses replacing previous managers who come in and the 1st thing they want to do is just change everything to make it what they're used to...without looking at how or if the procedures in place work or don't...still there's nothing wrong with changing things for the better... but it seems like they'd aim to throw everyone off by changing the systems to their own liking when they don't really work with system on a daily basis.
Rachel Ainsworth 2 years ago
And what if you take a working system and break it when you try and fix it because it turns out that it's much more complicated than it first appears? The people saying don't touch may know more than you.
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
as someone who used to do I.T. stuff, this is absolutely correct. You first copy the system to a testbed then make the change, then see if it f***s things up. If it does not, you keep testing it for like a month, THEN you can consider deploying the change to the live scenario.
#42
"Say whats on your mind" - f*****g don't, you don't want the hastle of someone within ear shot being offended or being offended on someone elses behalf just because your opinion is diffrent from ANY narrative.
crowspectre 2.0 (he/they) 2 years ago
Yeah. The people who claim that they 'tell it like it is' generally suck cause they're just mean and have no filter
Load More Replies... StrangeOne 2 years ago (edited)
You can say what's on your mind but be prepared to reap the repercussions.
Lara Verne 2 years ago
I was once at job interview, and representative was talking more than me, asking me the same questions over and over (nothing rude, but it was annoying af). According to this advice, I should've told him: 'Shut your trap and hire me already, a*****e! I wanna go buy coffee, not listen to you!"
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
My policy is: if it won't help someone , and it won't be seen as amusing, I won't bother.
Maltaros 2 years ago
My first wife's mother was one of those people. It royally screwed up my kids. She would "just be saying what was on her mind" and then bash their mother in front of them. My son now has issues with women and my daughter has adopted the same attitude which makes having a relationship with her impossible.
#43
"If you love your job you'll never work a day in your life". No matter what career you choose, no matter how fortunate you are, there's going to be parts of what you do that are going to be annoying, unpleasant, and difficult, and there's no guarantee that doing something for fun is going to say fun when you've got to do it because you need to pay rent. Pick a career based on what you're good at and what people value. You're selling your time.
StrangeOne 2 years ago
No. Nononono. See, I tried following this type of advice last year and got burned out from painting and it really started showing in my work. All the materials I was using I felt needed to be expensive and work done right the first time. There were times I didn't feel like painting but I had to to meet a deadline. These were just commissions I was doing for one family member. The rest of the time I was obsessing and fretting about trying to streamline my social media to represent a potential art business of my work, but I hate advertising and scared the people I most cared about would turn away if I started spamming. My mom used to own a business and she told me about all the things involved. You do very little of the thing you loved that got you started in the first place. The rest is a lot of sales, administration, networking, managing employees and looking for, and keeping, clients and customers. One bad idea, one bad apple can destroy a small business. Now I give paintings as gifts
Load More Replies... #44
Wear your hoodie backwards and fill the hood with popcorn. It makes a convenient snack-holder while you're working at your computer.
Ian Lee 2 years ago
Wouldn’t the popcorn get dirty? Since the clothing would have lil pieces of thread and dust and stuff
kitten levels tokyo 2 years ago
Maybe it’s just understood that you will line the hood with aluminum foil for sanitary reasons.
Load More Replies... StrangeOne 2 years ago
Ewwwy. I don't want hair in my popcorn, or put my popcorn where hair collects.
Maltaros 2 years ago
I never use the hood anyway and I regularly wash my clothing.
Load More Replies... Ericthedead 2 years ago (edited)
WTF! Is this what people that work in cubicles do? I don’t want hair and dandruff in my popcorn. My office is my truck it’s set up with a dc/ac converter and my laptop and printer/scanner. Got all my files stored in the back seat. So I do what I want in my office. Edit: watch a lot of movies
#45
"Just DO THE WORK." Not horrible advice, but incomplete. I find that when people are stuck in life, it's often because they're doing the wrong kind of work. Work that's solitary, unmotivated, not strategic. Instead, I encourage people to "join the community" that is associated with the work they want to do. If you want to be a comedian or a filmmaker like me, hanging out at a show that you like, or collaborating with other creators, and building relationships there, and feeding those relationships just as often as you're "doing the work" will ultimately be more beneficial. At some point in your 20s most people realize it's not as much about what you know, or even what you do, it's about who you know. Who you know also has way more of an impact on your overall happiness.
Hey! 2 years ago
Same with if you want to change your world change your friends. My oldest son wanted to stop smoking weed and he changed his friends one by one. Then went back to school and (finally) got a diploma. My goodness, he had 98% in Physics! Then he went back and got another diploma, this time in aerospatiale mechanic.
#46
You need to make a family so you won't end up alone.
Well, you will end up alone surrounded by people if you don't know how to be there for you.
DennyS (denzoren) 2 years ago
I would be lying if I said at 35 I wasn't a bit concerned about ending up all alone (not alone really because I like that...I guess lonely) but I would 100% rather than that being in a situation where it was toxic or uncomfortable, as I've seen with friends/colleagues.
crowspectre 2.0 (he/they) 2 years ago
I'm the opposite. I would much rather be in a long term harmful or toxic relationship than live my life and die alone
Load More Replies... StrangeOne 2 years ago
You could raise a family and still wind up alone. Just ask all the narcissistic ones in the nursing homes that don't get visited and don't have any friends.
kitten levels tokyo 2 years ago
First sentence, clear as crystal. Second sentence, I have no idea what they are saying. Please help.
Busy Panda 2 years ago (edited)
I think the 2nd sentence means that if you don't know how to accept yourself and be comfortable with yourself, you'll end up feeling lonely eventhough being surrounded by friends and family.
Load More Replies... Ericthedead 2 years ago
Not sure about this one. My significant others have left but I have two beautiful daughters that will always be there for me. I think.
Jasmine O 2 years ago (edited)
As someone who has felt lonely within my own family (parents and siblings etc) and somone who has had many happy fulfilled child free role models I know this is BS lol. I have a 58yr old female friend who isn't married or has kids. She goes to art school, travels, has many friends and has a true zest for life. My brother and his wife aren't going to 'start a family' and agin life a great happy fulfilling life. My aunt was child free, divorced and decided to travel the world doing charity work and loved it. My toxic mother who admitted to having kids so she wouldn't end up alone is a mother of 4 and is the loneliest person I know. (I'm not anti-family BTW lol I just agree with OP)
What do you think ?
Tyke 2 years ago (edited)
"Someone has it worse off/at least you're alive... so be grateful" is also incredibly toxic. It's not a competition, my Dad taught me "everyone's pain is their own (and should be respected)".
Hey! 2 years ago
My oldest brother is like that and he's one of the reasons why I don't go to family reunions anymore.
Load More Replies...
Ericthedead 2 years ago
I didn’t care for this post. I’m not saying others shouldn’t but I just don’t agree with a lot of it.
Seabeast 2 years ago
So it's just pure coincidence that this "young creator" has your name?
Load More Replies... Tyke 2 years ago (edited)
"Someone has it worse off/at least you're alive... so be grateful" is also incredibly toxic. It's not a competition, my Dad taught me "everyone's pain is their own (and should be respected)".
Hey! 2 years ago
My oldest brother is like that and he's one of the reasons why I don't go to family reunions anymore.
Load More Replies... Ericthedead 2 years ago
I didn’t care for this post. I’m not saying others shouldn’t but I just don’t agree with a lot of it.
Seabeast 2 years ago
So it's just pure coincidence that this "young creator" has your name?
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