44 Funny Lies Parents Tell Their Kids

Oh, definitely using this one now!

Good excuse!

another brilliant one!

I loved to sing in the car on long journeys, when I was young and when he got fed up with it, my Dad would stop the car and let me out, saying that my voice was so good that he thought everyone outside would like to hear it. When I had had enough, he let me back in and we continued the journey.

that is a great lie, and one I will also tell my kid!

"Everybody be cool, this is a squeezery!" :D

I really like this one!

We called it water chicken.

that's a classic...

Thats actually kind of true..

GOLD!

I was freaked out by Santa Claus : a stranger entering the house by the chimney? Han han, no way! Even if it's to bring gifts, it was way too weird for me. My parents tried very hard to make me believe it was a great man, but still, I had to sleep with them if they didn't want me to have a panic attack. So the Santa myths didn't stay for many years, they told me early that in fact it was them and no stranger entered the house once a year.

I dont get it. Someone explain please?

"internet lady" -oh this is good.

Jesus... how to make a child paranoid from an early age. That is really horrible.

I would just eat them by myself. kids cannot appreciatethem enough anyway:)

My dad used the word hibiscus as another word for horse droppings. I was so disgusted as I saw a hibiscus tea..

When I was in university, a girl sneezed & puked at the same time! That was hilariously disgusting!

horrible adults!

Awee : (

tell them that they will need towait longer for their meal instead

My mom told me it was because our planet was suddenly spinning too fast. I remembered until my first real geography class in fifth grade when I screamed at my teacher that my mom was always right *facepalm

But then they wont eat them! No one wants to eat a dolphin, right?

It does look nice....

Bwahaha! Talk about mixing stories to make a new one.

I used to tell my son my glass of soda had medicine in it.

oh my goodness, my dad told me the exact same thing! I was so annoyed that it never worked, but then he'd be like, "No, it's working! There's one right there. It's really, really little though. Only I can see it, because I eat carrots." Of course Kid Me never made the connection that without his glasses he's legally blind..

I was told it would stay glued in my stomach, waiting for other gums to be swallowed until my stomach would be full and I would have to be given a new stomach.

awful...what a moron

That horrible

What’s wrong with some of these parents?

I was looking for funny not disturbing.

just mean

That's a terrible thing to tell a child :(

And the parenting pendulum swings too far...

thats sooooooo wrong and not ok

Poor taste.

I have no clue why americans are so fuzzed about a perfect yard. Making wreaths with dandelions is amazing.

That's mean

That's Effed up

bad parenting, i also thought Black People had chocolate milk

So, she told you that you were NEVER going to have a slurpee.

Sounds like a children's book

I told my kid Chuck E Cheese burned down. Imagine my surprise when she ran in and told me they rebuilt it because she saw it when she was riding with her grandmother!

What does happen if you press reset?

C**p!

My mother used to tell me that if I cried and the bath the small hair in the tub will transform to spiders

My mum was told if she didn't eat all her rice at dinner her boobs wouldn't grow. She definitely ate all her rice.

Ahahah, well done!

I don't even...

This is completely stupid.

that's a little dark