44 Funny Lies Parents Tell Their Kids

Oh, definitely using this one now!

We used the blue dot on my grandson and it worked like a charm. He would run to the mirror and look, so we told him that only Mommies and Grandmothers could see it. ;)

So hypocritical that it's about lying.

Clever, clever!

My mom used this on my sister, but it was that her nose grew like Pinocchio when she told a lie. My sister would like while smashing her hand against her nose to make sure it didn't grow.

Good excuse!

As a parent, I used to muffle the loud toys so my sons still could enjoy them while saving my sanity. With this, I'd glue thin foam to one or both sides of the cymbals.

This is the best one ever.

That's mean!

There are so many parents who wish this was true

another brilliant one!

How to make your kid laughed at in college

nooooo!

I used to tell my boys, who are only 1.5 years apart, that the shopping cart didn't work if they stood up in it.

They're soon going to see through that one if it stops raining while they're watching!

I loved to sing in the car on long journeys, when I was young and when he got fed up with it, my Dad would stop the car and let me out, saying that my voice was so good that he thought everyone outside would like to hear it. When I had had enough, he let me back in and we continued the journey.

oof

I need to tell my brother that

I'm glad that isn't how it works in real life...imagine if you had to do a speech?

also tell her that you need to pay 120$ every month she speaks

that is a great lie, and one I will also tell my kid!

just be careful with this lie not to make your kid go and lay down on a street one day ''because i wanted to feel its warmth''...it may end up bad

...until you drive by the animal that's flattened and bloody. :(

I was looking for funny here, not depressing.

Oh it's horrible but soooo sweet!

"Everybody be cool, this is a squeezery!" :D

Nice one!

7 year old me totally would have wanted to watch a documentary about citrus fruit tho..

LOL. Would get yourself in trouble if he developed an intellectual interest in oranges...sounds like it with the word "pulp".

i can't stop laughing at this.. way to go dad!

I really like this one!

I did the same thing when my son was little!

I was just a parent, and told them to go to bed.

We called it water chicken.

my daughter calls ham 'Easter chicken' so my grandson will eat it.

Chicken of the sea! (Also a tuna brand!)

I hope that thanks was sincere.

lol

that's a classic...

Good Grandpas are great like that.

Why?!!?

*claps*

after this your grandpa might never want you to learn science at school

Thats actually kind of true..

This is true for many vegetables, but only if you don't eat sugary things. Your palate becomes more sensitive to the sugar in carrots, beats, potatoes, and fresh peas, for example. Probably doesn't work for vegetables that are bitter, like arugula and spinach.

no ew

GOLD!