I’m all for giving others the benefit of the doubt—being understanding, forgiving the occasional misstep, and letting things slide when possible. After all, none of us are perfect, and if I can show a little kindness in this cruel world, I’ll gladly try.
That said, there’s a definite limit to how far any judgment-free zone can stretch.
These Redditors know exactly what I mean. Recently, they shared the things people do that instantly make them unattractive, and honestly, they’ve made some pretty solid points. Scroll down to see their takes, and feel free to share your thoughts in the comments!
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Be unkind to animals, the less fortunate, or customer service workers. It’s a literal deal breaker for me.
ETA: Pretentious snobs that attempt to hijack completely unrelated posts to push their beliefs or politics under the false pretense of “humor”.
Yeah, the baseline for human decency. If you violate that, then you are definitely "unattractive" to me. (and also not not someone I want to know or associate with).
Treat animals badly. You can tell alot about a person by how they treat pets.
People who are cruel to animals and just nasty cowards who pick on things that are smaller than they are to make themselves look big and hard.
Like my dad who threw my dog across a room because he knew if he did anything to me, I'd have his a*s arrested.
Did the dog survive? Recovered? And, did you punish Dad for this? Towards peoples' lifes' end, many aren't able to communicate anymore - that's the latest chance to not forget who applied cruelty and violence on a helpless innocent creature, just saying ... whatever you make of it, ...
Load More Replies...Those may be the worst, but the second place doesn't come in much later, that's the ones who treat pets like the family members they are, but don't care the least about other animals. Decent people often are surprised about how many of these most obnoxious people exist and come off as if they were totally normal, sane even.
Please clarify. I don't have the same positive feelings for animals that I do for people, but I still treat them kindly. Am I an awful obnoxious person because of that?
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Litter.
A girl once stood near my garden drinking a bottle of soda. When she'd finished she dropped the empty bottle into my garden. I gave her the bottle back and suggested that she took it home and drop it in her own garden.
I was at the zoo and saw a kid who was clearly about to throw his empty drink bottle into the tiger enclosure. I said "how would YOU like it if people threw garbage into your bedroom?" Fortunately his mother stopped him.
Use their phone on speaker in public.
I was on the bus with this guy who was watching videos on his phone at full volume, and got incredibly annoyed. Then, whew, I got off the bus... and ended up sharing the bus stop with a second person watching videos on their phone at full volume. I'm currently under arrest on suspicion of murder, but I'm pretty sure it'll be ruled justifiable homicide.
I have a Heavy Metal station on favorites and use it at full volume right next to the person who is on speaker.
It's not so bad if it's on a decent volume and in a place where there's already people talking and other commotion. But it's the crappy mumble rap that's usually blaring from phones. I believe the type to listen to that garbage music are the type to not use earphones.
Not accept responsibility for their own actions.
I wonder if the guy in the photo sees this and shouts 'Hey! What did I ever do??!!'
Jack Nicholson in As Good As It Gets, playing a novelist explaining to a female fan how he writes women's characters and dialogue so well: "I think of a man, then I take away reason and accountability" All the the men in the theater laughed, and all the women scowled, thus proving his point.
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Mock someone who's disabled.
Using mental disorders to insult others and calling people "r******d". I've had the best, intelligent conversations with my Intellectually Disabled daughter.
This is almost there. It is ok to mock someone who is disabled. It's not ok to mock someone *because* they are disabled. I take the p**s out of Ryan all the time, because he's a lovable idiot, not because he was blown up and now missing a limb and can't walk or speak properly.
Lack of personal hygiene is such a dealbreaker to me.
Oooh, is that my favourite cologne? Ten Day Hiking Boot Old Spice is SO sexy.
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* Treating animals like they’re accessories.
Animals are living beings who deserve respect. You shouldn't buy a little dog because you think it's cute to carry it around in a fancy handbag. I do have a small dog, I do carry her, but that's because she's my service dog and can't do her job if she's on the floor.
Just to clarify, she's carried when we're out somewhere and she's working. She gets plenty of free time to just be a happy little dog, outdoors and in.
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Being rude to servers in public.
So did my ex-wife. It almost made leave her there to eat alone.
Load More Replies...Even if you are having a really bad day, it doesn't take any effort to say please and thank you. You don't have to be their best friend, but be polite.
I find this confusing. Server = computer that stores lots of stuff online that you can access remotely. Waiter = person who brings stuff to your table. (No need to gender it).
Yeah indeed. Computer geeks should have found an original name to use instead of using a word that already was in use. Go figure. --- server noun 1. a person or thing that serves. 2. a computer or computer program which manages access to a centralized resource or service in a network. "the software runs on a variety of Unix servers" --- server (n.) late 14c., "one who serves" in any capacity, agent noun from serve (v.). Especially "an attendant at a meal" (mid-15c.). By 1580s in sports. The meaning "that which is used in serving" is by c. 1600; the computing sense is by 1992. ---
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Have zero interest in other people, but expect everyone to be fascinated by the minutia of their lives.
Hi, it's me, the most interesting person ever. Aren't you lucky you met me? Now, let me just tell you all about my trip to the supermarket today. I needed to buy some milk. I actually did think about being naughty and getting strawberry flavoured milk instead of regular milk but I talked myself out of it by noting that it was twice as expensive. So I grabbed the regular milk which was hard to get to because there were only a few bottles left and they were pushed waaay up to the back of the shelf. But then - get this - just as I was on my way out I decided on a mad impulse to also buy some frozen chicken tenders. I had to choose between Southern style, chilli and garlic 'n' herb but I picked Southern. Then at the checkout - this is where it gets really crazy-
Sorry, I'm invested now. I need the rest of the story!
Load More Replies...People who are not interested in others are themselves never interesting.
The least attractive thing someone can do is treat others with disrespect or disregard their feelings. No matter how charming someone may seem, when they show a lack of empathy, it completely diminishes their appeal.
Also, when people look at you strangely for caring or getting angry for showing concern for others.
Acting like a child that needs a mommy to handle basic household tasks or life in general.
Act like a child who has generational wealth, and you'll buy major companies just to destroy them, or even get elected President!
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Be unfaithful to a spouse.
It depends on the situation. When your spouse is nothing but kind and considerate then it's a no-no. On the other hand if your spouse is violent, controlling, abusive and you meet someone who actually treats you like a human being then it's justifiable.
Get out of the abusive situation first, then start a relationship with someone else.
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Be rude, or act entitled.
Went on a date. She went on a her phone in the cinema and started scrolling Insta for half the film. She was actually a very good looking woman but that was... *ugh*.
Thinks the world revolves around her because of the way she looks. Beauty fades
Those types of people stop appearing so pretty. After they start acting selfish and snotty, they just look like cold-hearted ice queens wearing a mask of make up.
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A one upper. Or someone who always has to make things about them selves. I have this thing where I can instantly identify them and subsequently not be able to respect them or their opinion right away.
Sometimes its not about trying to one up, or trying to make things about themselves but trying to relate. Someone tells a story, I will sometimes tell a story about a similar experience that I had. Not because I was trying to make things about me, but because I was trying to demonstrate that I get it, that I went through the same thing. Its an attempt to connect.
Agreed. I do the same thing all the time. You have a friend who died? So do I, so I know how horrible it is. I'm sure as hell not bragging about how my pain is the painiest pain that ever did pain while yours is the equivalent of a papercut.
Load More Replies...It's not always about one-upping though, sometimes it's trying to relate to the other person. You suffer from depression, anxiety and suicidal ideation? So do I, and I'll help you get through it because I've gone through it before too. You used to cut yourself? So did I, but I don't anymore and I'll help you heal.
These people are so annoying. Let people vent, rant and get stuff off their chest. I don't mind it when people want to add in their own experiences, as it makes me feel less alone in a situation. Sometimes it gives me a better perspective on the situation that it could be not as bad, or not as dire as it is in my head. But when the line is crossed where I'm told I shouldn't be stressed at all because they have it apparently worse and dealing with it, then I'm checking out of that conversation.
One-upper or one-downer. No one can be smarter or dumber, fatter or thinner (at some point in their life), richer or poorer (again, at one point in their life), luckier or unluckier…you get the idea. They not only try to be better, they also try to be worse. Just depends on which will get them more attention/sympathy/praise, what the f**k ever. They’re also masters of the backhanded compliment. “Oh, you’re down to 125 lbs? Wow! 125, yeah. That’s what I weighed when I gave birth to my daughter” (that 125 weight represented a loss of 20lbs for someone who was 5’5” tall, as opposed to the backhanded complimenter, who was barely 5’ tall and 100lbs dripping wet).
Have a lack of empathy and understanding.
I meet so many people like this. They say they're successful because of all the wonderful things they did and everyone who can't do what they did is a loser. They have a complete lack of empathy for people who can't achieve what they did, even if how they got what they have is because of luck, parents, or family money. They always claim they "worked hard" for what they have and everyone who isn't in the same financial bracket as them is lazy and unworthy. Their attitude is they've got theirs and to hell with anyone else. They're almost always Trump supporters, too.
Yeah, it’s always way easier to hit a home run if you get to start on third base, when most of us aren’t even in the same state as the ballpark’s parking lot.
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Smoking is f*****g gross.
I agree, smoking is a deal breaker for me. However, my cousin smokes and I was complaining about it to my sister who brought me back to reality really quick. She said something along the lines of we all have our vices. I, for example, eat too much sweets. It's not "healthier" than smoking it's just more socially acceptable. So I remember that every time I get irritated with smokers. Unless you're smoking in my home, in a no-smoking area, or purposely blowing smoke on me (unless I've been a Karen and lectured you about it lol!), then what you do is your choice!
Your eating too many sweets doesn't affect the person standing next to you. They will never gain wait or rot their teeth because you are eating sweets. Getting cancer from exposure to someone else's smoke is a real thing. Triggering someone's asthma from second-hand smoke is a real thing. There's a big difference between vices that affect only you and those that affect anyone nearby.
Load More Replies...If you smoke, don't do it around me. I'll still hang with you, though. But the moment a smoker disrespects my air and ability to breath it's game over for them.
Chew with their mouth open like they’re auditioning for a cow documentary.
That Michael Cane line in Miss Congeniality comes to mind every time. 'I was distracted by the half-masticated cow rolling around in your wide-open trap.'
In defense of some, I have known people with severe breathing problems who have to chew with their mouths open. Make sure of the cause before condemning.
A constantly negative attitude.
It really gets tiresome. If someone is almost exclusively negative about things and can't find the bright side of things, it just sucks energy. Am not talking about someone depressed who is seeking to recover, but people who just seem to exist in a miserable state.
I have coworker like that and he really sucks the energy out of me. Funny thing, his sister is also a coworker and she's the complete opposite.
Load More Replies...People who go around acting like they're too cool for everything and no one can look at them.
When they have no sense of physical boundaries.
Wait to be invited, then be a good, well-behaved guest.
Load More Replies...In defense, make sure that the person invading your space does not have a hearing problem. They may need to be close to understand. I know this because both my mother and husband had very bad hearing and people would keep backing away from them when conversing because of close proximity.
Being rude to someone who doesn’t deserve it.
I hate hypocrites so much.
For me, it's when someone constantly interrupts in conversations. It feels disrespectful and dismissive.
So rude. It's a sign they are not listening to a word your saying because they're too busy thinking of the next thing they want to say. I know someone who does this all the time. I just let her talk. She calls it having a "conversation". Last I checked a conversation is at least a 2 way interaction. So, really, she spends 30+ minutes talking at me.
Spit on the ground
🤮🤮🤮.
Saying they’re interested in you but never have time for you.
Overly critical or judgmental of others! Let ppl be themselves.
When I was growing up my mother was like this. Everything I did and everything I liked was met with negativity and criticism. I felt like I was on trial all the time. Over time it really grinds you down, especially when all you're doing is trying to please them.
I know I have been judgmental myself, and I’m trying to stop, because it dawned on me that we outsiders never get the full story from all sides, and lacking that context can make our conclusions extremely biased toward whichever side we relate to the most, or tells the most convincing story, which could all be a lie. I’m trying to reserve judgment until I have more concrete facts.
Being on their phone during a hang out.
Sometimes i like to take pictures. oh wait! I thought you said "during a hanging". My bad.
Disrespect my time.
Poor hygiene. Disrespecting boundaries. Chaotic, unruly energy. Seeking someone’s constant attention.
Be the type that's quick to get angry. Not frustrated, I mean the type that can go from 0-80 in a split second over somebody telling you your haircuts s**t for example.
People who consider any opinion that disagrees with their own to be a personal attack, even if the other person said it nicely and with no ill feelings or malice, and/or was simply stating their opinion—which everyone is entitled to have—-simply as a conversation starter, without wanting to get into a vicious fight about it.
Anger is bad when misused. It's a great tool when you learn how to employ it.
LIE. Why the f**k is LIE not one of the top replies? And don't you f*****g lie to me about this s**t either.
Play the victim and sympathy card.
Constantly talk about themselves. Have zero manners. Have poor hygiene. Have a miserable personality. Or they have no consideration for others & zero social awareness.
Chew tobacco.
Only talk about themselves on dates.
Take everything personally.
Chewing their food like a gorilla.
Remember: You absolutely MUST remove the wrapper BEFORE eating something in a bag, or can, or cellophane, or plastic, or foil, or cardboard, or whatever. It’s the food inside that’s meant to be eaten, not what it’s wrapped in. OK? Alright. You can go back home to the Monkey House now.
When people act like someone they’re not just to fit in or impress others, it feels super inauthentic. I just want realness, you know? It’s like, just be yourself. Trying too hard to be liked actually pushes people away.
Posers. Oscar-winning performances. That’s how innocent people end up getting fooled into falling for someone who’s only going to start abusing them once they’re entrenched—-or rather, stuck—-in the relationship (baby-trapped, financially taken over, isolated from their support group, etc).
Ignoring common sense.
The phrase "common sense" is dead. It used to mean "I have facts and logic for what I say." It now means "I have no facts or logic for what I say, but I will abuse you if you expect them."
Yawn loudly without covering.
I have this problem, TBH. I cover my mouth but sometimes it just catches me off guard. I'm always tired.
I get the automatic urge to stretch at the same time.
Load More Replies...I'm guessing this person is blessed to have never experienced real exhaustion.
The least attractive thing someone can do is confidently mispronounce "charcuterie" as "shark coochie" and then double down, insisting, "That's how the French say it!".
LOL! We call them horse doobers. I like yours better!
Load More Replies...Refuse opinions.
This could go both ways. If they are asking for opinions then ignore them that's ones thing. If they're unsolicited opinions then I can't really blame them for refusing them.
Well, sometimes those “unsolicited opinions” can turn out to be honest and heartfelt warnings from people who actually have your best interests in mind, that you probably should pay heed to instead of immediately dismiss. So maybe entertain opinions, and give more weight to those coming from people who truly care about you, and have valuable experience and education in whatever subject or plans you’re talking about.
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Low self esteem can manifest in 1,000 unattractive ways.
Are presently being treated, or were treated at your important milestones, or how you were treated for far too long, especially during your childhood by people who are supposed to care about you. That s**t stays with you for a very long time. To the people doing it to you it was just Tuesday and immediately forgotten, but to you it’s in your memory forever.
Load More Replies...This says it way better than I ever could. It definitely applies to this: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/emotional-fitness/201001/you-dont-need-love-yourself-first
Why isn't misogyny here? There is no bigger turnoff than a man or a woman who thinks another man or woman needs to be inside the traditional little box society has made for them. Please, keep those old, stupid platitudes and the people who bleat them as far away from me as possible.
Something I hate but can't remember the term is when people think they're alone in the world, like running around the corner of a building not thinking someone else could be walking right there and just railroad them. Or crossing the street without looking both sides.
People who invalidate other people's feelings and dismiss, belittle and trivialise their worries and problems. What might seem worthless and unimportant to you could be of great concern for somebody else.
Why isn't misogyny here? There is no bigger turnoff than a man or a woman who thinks another man or woman needs to be inside the traditional little box society has made for them. Please, keep those old, stupid platitudes and the people who bleat them as far away from me as possible.
Something I hate but can't remember the term is when people think they're alone in the world, like running around the corner of a building not thinking someone else could be walking right there and just railroad them. Or crossing the street without looking both sides.
People who invalidate other people's feelings and dismiss, belittle and trivialise their worries and problems. What might seem worthless and unimportant to you could be of great concern for somebody else.
