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Brutally Honest Parents Share What Would Happen If They Named Kids After The Reason They Had Them, And It’s Hilarious
Parents usually go through hell and high water when choosing a name for their child, so writer and mother Bunmi Laditan has suggested a simple method for handling this difficult task. "If we named kids after the reason we had them, it'd be like, 'Hey Marital Problems stop hitting Broken Condom I'm trying to put Hennessy down for a nap.'" Needless to say, it caught on, and the Internet responded accordingly.
From 'Groupon had a deal on bikini waxing' to 'Roommate went to Walmart,' kids with names like these wouldn't have to listen to embarrassing stories about how they were conceived; everything would be clear from the get-go. Scroll down to read what alternative names parents have for their kids and if you come up with any, feel free to share them in the comments!
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As a "rhythm baby" (according to my Catholic parents) , "Bad Math" totally cracks me up!
i have a vegas baby, too, and i say the same thing! she was an on-purpose baby, which surprises a lot of people :)
I have an "Antibiotics on birth control" also. I'm guessing there are more than a few that share that moniker...lol
My sister named her kids Savannah, Jaxon and Cheyenne. I asked her if those were the places the kids were recieved.
My son was born in 96 and my husband was Airforce so we had Tricare (insurance). They paid for 99% of the hospital and doctor visits. My pregnancy was normal so there weren't any surprises. If it's the same cost as then and you're in the military- Have them BEFORE you get out!!
Both sound tropical! A flower-tiara that has such an effect, must have had beautiful tropical flowers! Haha
Given my age (I was born in '53) mine would be 'But He Said I'd Be Safe!'
Not sure about my older brothers, but my name would definitely be "Didn't Think We Still Had It In Us, But At Least There's A Girl Now"
"Monthly Missionary"?...What position is your Go-To and is that how you conceive "What do you mean twins"?
Mine would be Finally!, He Needs a Sibling, and Daddy's birthday Present.
Mine would be "nooner" and "mama was an only child and wouldn't do that to nooner". I would be "abortion wasn't legal yet". *uncomfortable laugh* It's all good, though. ;)
I'm pretty sure my nephews would be This Will Make Him Marry Me, and Tried To Solve Our Marital Problems. And my step-niece (the oldest) would be Let's Get High. Mine would be Only Exists in my Dreams Since IVF is So Expensive. My name would be Adopted, and my sister would be But I Thought I Was Infertile, and my brother would be Why Not?
According to my mom i would be named "Let's no do a**l for a change"
I'm sorry, but I laughed so hard at your one LMFAO!
Load More Replies...I would be "Mexican Vacation" and my brother would be "We can't let Mexican Vacation Be an Only Child".
I honestly wonder how many kids would be called a "whoops", "accident" or "drunk/booze". I guess also a "pull put" would be somewhere there as well...
My first born would be "Yeah we finally sign up to buy our first apartment, Champagne!" and his sister "Few days in NY without our toddler, let's enjoy a mojito!"
Oh how I wish they could actually use freaking quote marks, it's horrifying for non-native english speakers
Trust me, it's horrifying for native speakers as well. Some of the grammar/wording was outright unreadable.
Load More Replies...Let's see... Mine would be "it was a cold night on the Fontana Speedway (we were watching my brother-in-law race the next morning) and hubby just wanted to 'cuddle' to keep me warm" and "got the ok to be sexually active again at 6 week postpartum checkup and doctor told me you can't get pregnant if you're breastfeeding, so don't worry about contraceptives" LOL.
"Dad was dying but he still wanted a go" go do you homework right now!
According to my parents, I would be "Camping in the middle of nowhere, with nothing better to do". Lol!
Mine would have been "Everyone I know has been trying for a really long time, maybe we should start. Holy s**t, I'm pregnant after one month of trying" and "I'm 30 and almost out of child bearing years maybe we should have another?"
First son: Planned Meticulously ; Second Son: Sailing Course in Destin
How do these literate/ educated people who can obviously afford some form of device to have social media etc, not understand how proper birth control works.
Because, as they say, s**t happens. Not to you, of course, you're clearly perfect, but to the rest of us.
Load More Replies...I figure most kids in the next few years will be "I really wanted some Facebook likes" and "I have so many pintrist ideas!"
"If I'm not pregnant by my 39th birthday, he'll get a little snip at the beginning of the year and we didn't use condoms because we never even conceived in eight years. what could possibly happen...hello six days early 40th birthday present."
Surprised no one said, "The pool boy was hot", or "Couldn't afford to pay the plumber".
My mom to me: "Hey PullOutMethodDoesn'tWork, would you mind watching Intentional, Intentional, and Intentional while I take Intentional and Intentional to the store?"
How can you possibly know when you did the child? Are you having sex once a year?
I completely understand that accidents DO happen, but why aren't people more careful? If you only rely on a condom and it broke then get the morning after pill. A lot is common sense.... like not being an irresponsible drunk or silly mistakes like taking antibiotics. I'm far from perfect but there is no way I'd allow myself to get pregnant by accident... letalone multiple times.
I would be "Raging Teenage Hormones", and my brother "We Didnt Learn The First Time", lol!
Mine would be "finally done with school" and "unfounded optimism about state of marriage"
Mine would be "yay I'm finally done with school" and "unfounded optimism about state of marriage"
My now ex husband would need to change his sons name. The kids new name: Result of Cheating
We have Big 10 Champs Don't Pull Out, Men will believe anything(step daughter), and St. Patrick
I would be " this should never have happened it must be a bug in the swimming pool water." I always have been the black sheep in our family..👶🤔💚
My girl would be "I've never gotten pregnant before-what the hay we'll deal with it". My boy "I don't know what to do with my life-I'm almost thirty-we need a boy for a complete set!".
Mine is Birthday Celebration and Birth Control Isn't Always Effective is due in May
ads everywhere are making me leave one of my fav sites. thanks for the clean views of the past, pandas. bye
Luckily in my country (the Netherlands) it is ad-free
Load More Replies...Thigh-High Boots on Valentine's Day, meet your new sibling, Dixie Chicks' Landslide Made Me Nostalgic...
Mine would be "nooner" and "mama was an only child and wouldn't do that to nooner". I would be "abortion wasn't legal yet". *uncomfortable laugh* It's all good, though. ;)
I'm pretty sure my nephews would be This Will Make Him Marry Me, and Tried To Solve Our Marital Problems. And my step-niece (the oldest) would be Let's Get High. Mine would be Only Exists in my Dreams Since IVF is So Expensive. My name would be Adopted, and my sister would be But I Thought I Was Infertile, and my brother would be Why Not?
According to my mom i would be named "Let's no do a**l for a change"
I'm sorry, but I laughed so hard at your one LMFAO!
Load More Replies...I would be "Mexican Vacation" and my brother would be "We can't let Mexican Vacation Be an Only Child".
I honestly wonder how many kids would be called a "whoops", "accident" or "drunk/booze". I guess also a "pull put" would be somewhere there as well...
My first born would be "Yeah we finally sign up to buy our first apartment, Champagne!" and his sister "Few days in NY without our toddler, let's enjoy a mojito!"
Oh how I wish they could actually use freaking quote marks, it's horrifying for non-native english speakers
Trust me, it's horrifying for native speakers as well. Some of the grammar/wording was outright unreadable.
Load More Replies...Let's see... Mine would be "it was a cold night on the Fontana Speedway (we were watching my brother-in-law race the next morning) and hubby just wanted to 'cuddle' to keep me warm" and "got the ok to be sexually active again at 6 week postpartum checkup and doctor told me you can't get pregnant if you're breastfeeding, so don't worry about contraceptives" LOL.
"Dad was dying but he still wanted a go" go do you homework right now!
According to my parents, I would be "Camping in the middle of nowhere, with nothing better to do". Lol!
Mine would have been "Everyone I know has been trying for a really long time, maybe we should start. Holy s**t, I'm pregnant after one month of trying" and "I'm 30 and almost out of child bearing years maybe we should have another?"
First son: Planned Meticulously ; Second Son: Sailing Course in Destin
How do these literate/ educated people who can obviously afford some form of device to have social media etc, not understand how proper birth control works.
Because, as they say, s**t happens. Not to you, of course, you're clearly perfect, but to the rest of us.
Load More Replies...I figure most kids in the next few years will be "I really wanted some Facebook likes" and "I have so many pintrist ideas!"
"If I'm not pregnant by my 39th birthday, he'll get a little snip at the beginning of the year and we didn't use condoms because we never even conceived in eight years. what could possibly happen...hello six days early 40th birthday present."
Surprised no one said, "The pool boy was hot", or "Couldn't afford to pay the plumber".
My mom to me: "Hey PullOutMethodDoesn'tWork, would you mind watching Intentional, Intentional, and Intentional while I take Intentional and Intentional to the store?"
How can you possibly know when you did the child? Are you having sex once a year?
I completely understand that accidents DO happen, but why aren't people more careful? If you only rely on a condom and it broke then get the morning after pill. A lot is common sense.... like not being an irresponsible drunk or silly mistakes like taking antibiotics. I'm far from perfect but there is no way I'd allow myself to get pregnant by accident... letalone multiple times.
I would be "Raging Teenage Hormones", and my brother "We Didnt Learn The First Time", lol!
Mine would be "finally done with school" and "unfounded optimism about state of marriage"
Mine would be "yay I'm finally done with school" and "unfounded optimism about state of marriage"
My now ex husband would need to change his sons name. The kids new name: Result of Cheating
We have Big 10 Champs Don't Pull Out, Men will believe anything(step daughter), and St. Patrick
I would be " this should never have happened it must be a bug in the swimming pool water." I always have been the black sheep in our family..👶🤔💚
My girl would be "I've never gotten pregnant before-what the hay we'll deal with it". My boy "I don't know what to do with my life-I'm almost thirty-we need a boy for a complete set!".
Mine is Birthday Celebration and Birth Control Isn't Always Effective is due in May
ads everywhere are making me leave one of my fav sites. thanks for the clean views of the past, pandas. bye
Luckily in my country (the Netherlands) it is ad-free
Load More Replies...Thigh-High Boots on Valentine's Day, meet your new sibling, Dixie Chicks' Landslide Made Me Nostalgic...