50 Times People Realized They’re Living With A ‘Monster’ And Just Had To Share The Evidence

For many of us, the first time we experience living with a roommate is when we move out of our parent’s house around the age of 18. We might move away to university or start renting a place with friends to have some privacy and learn how to live on our own. This time can be a great learning experience for many people. If your parents always washed your dishes, cleaned the kitchen and bathroom, did your laundry for you and cooked every meal for the entire household, you might have been in for a rude awakening when you first did these things by yourself.

And don't get me wrong, it's perfectly normal and healthy to learn many things when you live alone for the first time. Personally, I spent hours on end watching cooking videos, so I would feel inspired and competent in the kitchen, as I had only mastered the basics prior to moving to university. Plus, it’s expected to learn some things through trial and error. You might get excited at the grocery store and buy too much produce at once only to see half of it growing mold by the end of the week. We all make mistakes, but what is important is to learn from these mistakes. Toss out that produce at the first sign of mold! Don’t let it fester until the whole fridge is a biohazard and your roommates start holding grudges against you.

To gain more insight on the topic of difficult roommates, we reached out to Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Ashleigh Edelstein. First, we wanted to know if Ashleigh could explain why living with roommates is often so hard. "Living with roommates is challenging because of differing, and often unspoken, expectations," she told Bored Panda. "For some, their parents may have handled too many things for them, preventing them from being self-sufficient enough to be a good roommate. This might look like expecting others to pick up after them or invading their roommate’s privacy by entering without knocking. It doesn't have to be this way! One of the quickest ways to prevent these kinds of problems is to set expectations before moving in together, or reset them if you’re already living together. Each person needs to consider what they expect and what’s expected of them to prevent unnecessary issues."

We also asked Ashleigh what is important to disclose before agreeing to live with someone. "One important thing to know about yourself is how much solitude and social time you need on a regular basis," she noted. "Being surrounded by people all the time can be overstimulating, so it’d be important to set boundaries around how available you are. There should also be boundaries around inviting friends or partners to hang out or stay over so no one feels taken advantage of."

But if you've had a hard time finding the perfect roommate, don't be discouraged. Ashleigh says it's totally possible for two very different people to mesh well when sharing a living space, as long as they're both clear on what's considered respectful behavior.

"For example, if one person is a night owl and the other a morning person, they’d both need to respect 'quiet hours' while the other sleeps," Ashleigh explained. "This might look like not using loud appliances first thing, or using headphones to listen to music or watch TV when it's late. You can have different interests, hobbies, or passions, and still live together peacefully. The key is that you both hold similar values, like respect, honesty, and cooperation."

Ashleigh also shared her best tip for approaching conflicts with roommates. "Have a proactive conversation before you reach a boiling point," she told Bored Panda. "Find a time when you’re both likely to be in a good mood to prevent them getting mad or defensive. Start by talking about what needs to change as specifically as possible and why it matters.

"For instance, 'I need you to wash your dishes at night, so they don't pile up and make the sink unusable.' Then, let them know what you'll do if this keeps happening. 'I'll put your dishes elsewhere if they're not clean by the next day.' Letting them know ahead of time means you're not being passive aggressive, you're simply setting a limit," Ashleigh explained.

If you'd like to hear more wise words from Ashleigh or learn about her business, Austin Therapy and EMDR, be sure to check out her website right here.

After viewing this list, I realized just how lucky I have been with roommates in the past. I was fortunate enough to become great friends with all of my roommates, and the worst issues I ever encountered were messes in the kitchen that seem like nothing compared to the photos featured here. I do consider myself a neat freak, so I understand that not everyone requires the same standard of cleanliness as I do. But one of the most important things to remember when you have roommates is that you have to consider them. 

If you have your own bedroom, that space is yours to do with what you like (assuming you’re not putting everyone else in danger, making excessive noise or letting out disgusting smells). But shared spaces like kitchens, bathrooms, living rooms, and corridors should be kept neat and tidy. It’s selfish and unfair to subject roommates to messes. And when roommates share appliances, dishware and furniture, those items should also be treated with respect. What always hurt me the most when I found messes in my apartment was the fact that I would never do that to my roommates, because it would feel disrespectful to make them clean up after me. But I know I’m preaching to the choir here, pandas. I’m sure we’re all equally horrified by these photos. Yet somehow, there are so many people out there living like this…