50 Cringy Screenshots Of Men Not Taking “No” For An Answer

Most of the entries on this list feature terrible attempts at flirting through the internet. Online dating safety expert Chris Dietzel told Besedo that the biggest issue is that many people don't realize how damaging unwanted behavior can be. The boundaries for inappropriate behavior are not very strict in our modern society, he says.

"A lot of the inappropriate behaviors and sexual advances many condemn in offline environments – such as in the workplace or in social settings – aren’t always deemed as serious or damaging or problematic in a digital context,” he told Besedo.

A nonprofit that helps victims of sexual abuse Saprea writes that sexual harassment can include a variety of unwanted behaviors. It can also involve "weaponizing of sexual content – such as images, videos, or posts – to harass, exploit, humiliate, distress, coerce, or threaten. 

The reason why unwanted sexual advances happen in abundance online is because of the online disinhibition effect. Researchers describe this as a phenomenon that "may give people the courage to say or do things that they would not do in real life."

This online disinhibition effect often results in unwanted sexualization. That is a form of online sexual harassment. It can be a sexual image, emoji, joke or request. Although the intentions behind the attempt may be benign, the result still can be quite damaging. Although the perpetrator is trying to compliment, flatter or flirt, the receiver may feel "demeaned, embarrassed, violated, or objectified."

People who carry out unwanted sexual advances demonstrate a lack of respect for boundaries. These actions also violate the other person's personal feelings and preferences. Dietzel tells Besedo that "context and permission are the keywords here. Problems arise if there’s no open understanding or consent agreement between the individuals."

"In online dating, permission parameters are too often based on assumptions about what one individual thinks the other wants," the researcher tells Besedo. "For example, two people may flirt on a dating app. While one person might assume that a conversation like this is a prelude to sex, the other may simply enjoy the lighthearted conversation."

Dietzel says that rape culture is at fault. The word 'rape' might sound a bit extreme in this context, but once the researcher defines it, it's not so out-of-place. The IMPACTS project, which Dietzel is a part of, has a definition for it: "How sexist societal attitudes, misogyny, and language tacitly condone, minimize and/or normalize sexual violence – mostly against women, but also against other genders.

Dietzel tells Besedo that some of the behaviors are so normalized that they're almost viewed as normal in our society. "Online, these behaviors are evident in how some people communicate about sex and violence. 

In fact, in some cases, people might not even be aware that they’re condoning it because certain terms, phrases, and behaviors have become normalized in mainstream cultures,” the expert says.

It's no surprise then that women become desensitized to inappropriate behavior exhibited by men online. According to Dietzel, they're "simply resigned to the fact that they are likely to experience some form of sexual harassment when they join an online dating service." The fact that they will receive inappropriate images or propositions is what's almost expected.

So what can we do about it? It's not just up to the people themselves, Dietzel tells Besedo. Technology companies behind the social platforms that we see this harassment happen on have a responsibility. Dietzel says that establishing community guidelines is important. Most companies only have Terms & Conditions, but they only apply to behaviors between the app and the users. Having community standards that define what's appropriate and what's not between users would definitely help.

What can the users do? It's crucial not to normalize this kind of behavior. "We are all responsible for what we tolerate as individuals," Dietzel told Besedo. "Shaming one person won’t necessarily change behavior but getting a group of people to reflect on their actions will."