Science is a lot of things. It’s a person in a lab coat experimenting with different materials as well as an astronaut bouncing around in zero gravity. It’s a geologist studying rocks and a mathematician perusing books. It’s an archeologist out on an expedition and a biologist monitoring different animal species.
That’s the great thing about science—it’s vast. It is also useful because of discoveries that allow us to advance in this world. It is exciting because it gives us new prospects to aspire to. It is ongoing, inspiring, devastating, beautiful and, also, funny.
The list below is all about the funny side of science. The jokes, the puns, the memes, and other ridiculousness that was collected and posted on The Lighter Side of Science Facebook group. Scroll down to see our favorites.
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I could not agree more. Libraries play such a vital role in society. They are places of learning and community. They are also strongholds that try to protect against the crazy fascists that try to ban books because they don’t fit in with their narrow world view.
Here's hoping that these wonderful libraries will remain free from the insane attacks from the christian conservatives and that, true to most people's nature, the book banning in schools will inspire kids to want to read those books even more than before.
Isn't anyone going to talk about the sign? I happen to feel very offended by the fact that it's not purple.
If offence is the goal, one will always succeed.
Load More Replies...Yes, it has those popular books I look down on, as well as the good ones!! Terrible.
Oh no, I bet they even have the ones you see at airports where the author's name is bigger than the title!
Load More Replies...Truth. You can't get smarter unless you challenge your preconceptions.
Because science is so vast and multilayered, learning about it can be quite challenging. That’s partly because there’s so much to learn but also because it’s easy to get scared of how much there is to learn. That is where the science communication people come in. They are the ones that combine science and fun to make it appealing to all.
These are passionate people who make it their mission to spread the word of science to the common, non-science related folk. Sometimes they are researchers or medical professionals themselves and sometimes they are well-informed journalists that want the people around them to better understand the world. Either way, they are helping everyone to get excited about science.
Our whole attict is a bat sanctuary. They fly around the house at night, catching mosquitoes and we love the little buggers. Sometime they crash in the grass and I use welding gloves to gently put them back. When I grew up a tv tower was built nearby, the poor bats got disorientated and every morning I found dozens in tve grass
How often do you have to clean up the guano? That must get smelly fast.
Load More Replies...Bats eat the bugs that carry the diseases we get infected with but just imagine how many things could be solved if we would just leave them alone and stop destroying their homes. The Zika virus wouldn't have been a huge problem if we'd just let the bats eat the bugs that are spreading it.
Same with animals like opossums, which eat ticks like crazy. So many around here either get shot, killed by dogs, or run over. It's sad. Luckily quite a few like to stick near our house
Load More Replies...My grandfather used to keep pigeons. Pigeons are long gone, but dovecote is still standing and little bats use it as shelter. Bats flew into our house many times. I caught them into towels. They sometimes fell asleep before they could find way out. In that case, i used glove and carried bat to the dovecote, so my cat couldn't hurt them. I had to leave glove there, because bat grabbed it and didn't want to let go. They're adorable- little black furrballs with big ears.
soooo cute!! I love bats. We have them roosting in the roof of the house some years. so cool.
I love that myth about them flying into people's hair,bats have exceptional sonar and this will completely allow them to avoid flying into people's hair or anything else for that matter .....it's like the swan breaking a person's arm myth,it's about equivalent power
Right?? If they couldn't avoid flying into hair, they'd be permanently concussed from flying into random branches chasing bugs. That's just basic logic.
Load More Replies...I never understood why we sometimes instill such a hatred and fear of creepy crawlies and bats in children growing up. I was taught to respect insects, mice, and bats even though they may look “scary.” It’s okay to be afraid, but it just makes me sad when this fear ends of killing the poor creature for no reason. Bats play such a vital role in our ecosystem and help eat a lot of pest bugs. They are also essential pollinators.
I agree, and if you feel you *must* kill them, at least use humane means. I cannot believe how many people still use things like glue traps. They are at least slowly being banned in places
Load More Replies...I have bats hibernating under my roof. They are a protected species in Germany and as long as they do not damage anything, I do not care.
A grandaunt of me left a roof window tilted because she forgot. Went on vacation, came back to over 100 bats populating her place - hidden in literally everything. A guy from a bat-preservation-department of some sort of animal welfare club came by to collect them. Took a few hours, andi the final batcount ... a few over 100, I don't remember the exact number, and can't ask her anymore, because our alivery-status isn't identical anymore.
Aloe vera on aisle three! I repeat, sarcasm burn on aisle three!
Obviously, the commenter doesn't know that the Burgers do not become square until they are completely ripe. The round ones are picked too soon.
Google Burger King vs Wendy's, I found an article from 2020 on Thrillist re: twitter war between BK (who started it) and Wendy's (who burned BK to the ground). Hilarious!
Load More Replies...OP is right here. I remember an 80s advert campaign for round toasts, "because delicious things are round" (your momma!). It had illustrations like a square crab and square fruits.
OOOh! now my freakin' hamburger is supernatural? Can it do miracles?!
I lost a math competition in grade school because the question was about the volume of burgers someone ate if it was x numbers of Wendy's burgers. I did the whole calculation on round burgers and got it wrong. I'm still salty about it 20+ years later.
While popularizing science has been a thing since the invention of media and the printing press, the most notable figures emerged in recent years. One of them is Carl Sagan.
Sagan was an astronomer and did a lot of research into the possibility of extraterrestrial lives. However, it wasn’t his discovery or any of his 600 papers that made him famous. It was his show Cosmos that was aired in 1980 that made him undoubtedly one of the most popular scientists back in the day.
My counselor helped me with this. Apparently, if we have experienced a lot of stress for an amount of time the brain forms a deep path directly to panic mode. when we experience a small stressor like losing our keys or talking on the phone our mental pathways are so used to going panic mode that we automatically jump there. The trick is to retrain our brain. We can do this by using a catastrophe gage. Imagine a gage from 0-100.
Next time you experience stress look at the scale gage were your stress really falls and trying to look at the stress in perspective. By gradually retraining our brain to realize we are not going to die each time we do something a little bit stressful we can grow new pathways in our brains..
0 no stress like sitting in a chair
10 Fender bender, scratch on car
20 major change at work, moving
15 kid leaving home
30 foreclosure
40 death of a friend
45 retirement , change in heath of a family member
50, Personal injury or illness , pet die, losing a jo Catastroph...0c-png.jpg
I didn't know about this scale! Thank you so much!
Load More Replies...Fight - Flight - Freeze - Fawn. Fight = you fight. Flight = you run. Freeze = you remain transfixed. Fawn = you try to please or appease the threat.
I wonder how people survive with having anxiety and being in a constant panic for all the things, even the small ones.
I know you didn’t mean to, but please note that come like this can really come off as pretty darn hurtful to people who live with anxiety. No, we are not in a constant state of panic 24/7. No, we do not live in a constant state of panic for every little thing- good grief. Many of us survive perfectly fine and have coping techniques. It may be hard at times, but as an athlete and someone with a job that can indeed become stressful, I’ve learned how to deal with stress and anxiety. We’re just normal people with a little bit more adrenaline pumping through us at times.
Load More Replies...“Rewire Your Anxious Brain” by Catherine Pittman and Elizabeth Karle. Fascinating read.
If you’ve ever seriously said you believe the earth is flat or evolution isn’t real or burning fossil fuels doesn’t have any negative effects on the environment, you should have your drivers license and voting rights revoked. You’re too stupid to have an opinion on anything that affects others or operate dangerous machinery.
*knocks the flat-earther off the edge of the earth*
Yet no one has ever found the edge. Seems like these idiots want to believe an absurd idea just to be different. They can't be serious.
According to them no one can go below 60 south latitude. But every time the try to prove the flat earth they show the earth is a spinning globe.. 🤷♂️🤭
Load More Replies...True flat earthers, I'm convinced, have a brain malady. Really no other way to explain such a ridiculous viewpoint, despite MOUNTAINS of evidence to the contrary.
Some are probably scaming to get funding from yt views etc, and prob from Netflix also. Also in comvo not trusting zny other that yourself, or fellow flerfers.. edit:spelling, scam, not sham..
Load More Replies...No atoms, germs, elephants nor curvature there — so they’re all fake news? I don’t get the argument to be honest. And if there were, it would be proof? Like a photo of an “alien” is proof?
They have proof...! But most of the scientifically correct experiment they do shows it's a spinning ball, but then they delete the video from YT... and all of nasa is fake, CGI, greenscreen or other fakery.. 🙄
Load More Replies...I have a sneaking suspicion that if you zoomed in and counted pixels, you'd find *GASP* a curve.
Scieman Dan (YT) et. al. show this several times a week. No flerfs believes this.
Load More Replies...what's a birb? is that some sort of internet slang or acronym that this old git isn't aware of ..... genuine question
Oh. My. Gawd. This is the most adorable thing I've ever seen on BP. Up with this type of thing!!!
Am I the only one who thought those bits at the top of it's beak were it's eyes? Honestly thought this was some kind of cartoon birb toy for a moment there :D
Same, it creeped me out for a sec
Load More Replies...Of course, he wasn’t a nobody before he landed the show. The science community appreciated him for his research and advocacy, though some were a little put off by his speculative approach to science. Still, he taught at Harvard and then earned his position as a full-time professor at Cornell. He was also working with NASA since the inception of the US space program in the '50s. He even briefed Apollo astronauts before going to the Moon.
Now if it were on a Perch.. Tastes like Chicken... Chicken of the sea.
I am looking at this picture and STILL wanna throw it like a paper airplane XD
If you look closely, you can see that this actually is not a flying fish but rather a fish being held aloft.
Native tribes in south Japan, or the Taiwanese Island chains, first for these annually. It's their main food staple. I saw it in a doc. It looked hella fun.
But make them Canadian so people will think they're nice.
Load More Replies...The day after God created the platypus. "Oh my Me... note to self - dont drink and create".
I read this as Seal the US marines break into someone house and terrorize, thank god the owner is not at home
Load More Replies...Marine wildlife lives in the WET. The idea alone is traumatic!
Load More Replies...I'm unreasonably upset by the use of the term "a marine biology comes to visit"
This is going to age me, but it reminds me of a meme from the olden days of George W. turning towards John Kerry with a dialogue bubble that says “Did Al Gore invent ALL of the internets?”
Load More Replies...That time Ed McMahon shows up and rings your bell but you're sleeping next to the toilet.
My cats are already sacred enough of the outdoors, an outdoor animal would terrify them, a sea creature would absolutely terrifying!
Comin soon to a cinema near you. The Sound of Feline. Starring John Cena (as the marine) and Chris Hemsworth (as the SEAL)...
XD love how it just casually mentions how it scared the cat n hung out xD
Wouldn’t have helped anyway, since he’s an expert in Marines, not Navy SEALs.
He became better-known to the public after he published his best-selling science-fiction book The Dragons of Eden, which won him a Pulitzer Prize in 1977. Because of this, he was invited to write and narrate Cosmos. In it, he delved into various different topics related to space and the world around us. He told fascinating stories that got people excited about our universe.
Your acid trips have been far more intellectual than mine ever were. 🤣
Load More Replies...My husband asked me if all brains taste the same. I replied 'has to. Intellect or feelings probably don't make much difference in the basic composition. ' He looked at me and said ' I meant in terms of sheep vs pork vs beef. Not human beings you cannibal!'
Fried beef brain is delicious, although it needs a sprinkling of salt. I've never tasted anything else's, although my mom would say pork brains tasted awful. These days, you can't get brains anymore. What a waste. The texture is rather like a fried scallop, and the taste rather like dark chicken meat, just a tad sweet. It's not greasy like chicken, though.
Load More Replies...Mine is mostly fat and water but instead of salt it's mostly "Mrs Dash" just because I'm not supposed to use salt.
Let's not forget all the great movies and art and books this blob of fat has created.
North American native hunters demonstrated that each animal has enough brain matter in its skull to use for processing its hide into leather. Hence, brain tanned buckskin. Humans have way too much brain, or not enough hide, for that to work on us.
That blob of jelly is also in touch with more than one dimension, if folks would only pay attention.
Remember, if it bites you and you die, its venomous. If you bite it and you die, its poisonous. If it bites itself and you die, its voodoo. If you both bite each other and neither of you die, its kinky.
IDK about other areas, but I'm the USA, there are multiple state wildlife and national Park twitters that are pretty great. I really enjoy them. :D
Weird, no one says poisonous things are venomous, but everyone says venomous things are poisonous
Reminds me of "I thought you said your dog doesn't bite? - that isn't MY dog"!
I look at the logo for the Oklahoma Dept of Wildlife and see a bearded man from Portland, Oregon wearing a loose-fitting beanie.
It's from Back to the Future (II, I think).
Load More Replies...Yeah my mother was huffing behind someone who's kit wasn't working. Then her card got rejected... I walked away quietly, sniggering
My store doesn't take Apple pay, it's amazing how many people are completely lost when they find this out. Ffs keep a physical card with you as backup, you never know when you're going to run into this.
I just don't see the point of using your phone to pay. Same for boarding a plane. It's not that hard to carry a boarding card or a few pieces of plastic in you wallet. I tired of people holding up queues and causing disruption because the battery is flat or the phone is playing up.
Some budget airlines charge you to print a boarding pass and if you don't have a home printer, it's easier to just keep it on your phone
Load More Replies...The 13-part series was well received by both the audience and the critics. It won an Emmy and a Peabody Award, and also became the most widely watched series in the history of American television and held that record for a whole decade after. As a result, Sagan became a cultural icon.
Given how terrible at it most drivers are, I'm glad we don't have flying cars.
We had flying cars in 1980. We'd had them for a long time by then. They're called aeroplanes.
It's always sad when humanity is dragged down to the lowest common denominator. As an aside, the paper is probably better for you than the white bun, cheese, and greasy burger.
2023: Welcome to the nuclear power plant, Please do not eat the uranium reactor cores. 🤓☝
And I thought, we were moving forward. Seems we're, either, staganant or moving backwards.
if it's an consolation,I'm a Brit and believe they must be returned (along with many other artifacts,who do we think we are)
Load More Replies...Was it John Oliver who said the British Museum is literally an active crime scene?
Genuine question, why do the British seem to get the most attention for stealing artifacts out of all colonial powers? I never seem to see anything about the Spanish, Germans or French to name but a few Edited to add, I'm british and fully support the return of all artifacts.
I'm guessing it's because the British Museum is the largest collection of it's kind in the world, so it's the most prominent one. Plus it's in the news from time to time because of some argument or another. For example the pilfered Acropolis marbles in the British Museum make the news every time they cause diplomatic issues between Greece and Britain.
Load More Replies...Why isn't the moon located in some museum's vault in London? Because, there was no ship it would fit in.
We (the collective human race) ARE bringing it to Earth, bit by bit, rock by rock, dust by dust.
Load More Replies...Actually when I first saw this, I thought they were carrying a model of the building.
Don't show Rishi Sunak this, he'll never speak to you again! Wait - actually, maybe I should show him this
There is no point in having these. Unnecessary and messy... time to phase these out... I'm staying inside with all my doors shut tight... and a blow torch in case my chair turns into a spider.
Most of the post about bats that is currently at #2 could also be said about spiders.
Load More Replies...Found in Australia... Again!!! Somebody wanna tell Mother Nature to take it easy with the Build-A-Creature set...? -_-"
There’s a reason why the only people in Australia are the young and free
Load More Replies...Spiders are cool 😎 and they eat insects including insects that bite us. Why does everyone hate on spiders???
I used to be frozen in place terrified of spiders. Now tho, after seeing them do their thing in my basement if I find a spider in my house I bring it to a problem area and let it set up shop. This spider tho is pretty cool and doesn't seem like the type to invade a home so I'm unsure what all the hate is about.
Load More Replies...In the show, he often said “billions and billions” referring to and emphasizing the innumerable amount of things in the universe. This became his catchphrase and a part of the cultural vocabulary in the '80s. Musicians were including it in their songs and comedians were incorporating it into their routines.
This is old news, basically there were a buch of questions ranging from embryology to the relation between birds and dinosaurs so they manipulated the activation of the most "modern" geners in chicken embryos and found out they started to develop a tail and (in a separate experiment) a reptile face. None of the embryos got the complete set of modifications nor were allowed to complete development and be born tho so no chickensaurus has been created (yet) We now know beyond resonable doubt that birds belong to the Dinosauria and Theropoda clade, same as velociraptors and tyrannosaurus.
Load More Replies...So? Bunch of films say rich middle aged men in payamas should fight crime better than police. Not going to convince me either.
Load More Replies...I've got Dino nuggets in my freezer right now. Gluten free.
Load More Replies...Hens are the most "direct" descendants from T Rex
Load More Replies...It's a throwback. Birds evolved from dinosaurs. They're little carnivores. I have seen videos of a flock of chickens happily tearing into a roasted one.
Look up the Corn Bread Mafia for some interesting Kentucky history
Load More Replies...Lol I'm glad I'm not the only one wondering why Arkansas was effing Tennessee
Load More Replies...Nice one. Although, Kentucky is not hard to find. It’s pretty distinct. It’s all those squares and rectangles in the west that have me scratching my head. And I’m a US citizen. 🙄
It's like an artist got tired/lazy of designing states. Started all enthused and inspired with squiggles, shapes, and sizes. Then got sick of it and said "f**k this s**t, everything else is just gonna be big, angular, with long lines" and then called it a day. lmao
Load More Replies...You is strong, you is powerful, you is the terror of the Rockies. You're gonna catch that fish today.
I use this meme ALL the time with students (I'm a music teacher). The "I had this at home" is so real.
Furthermore, now “sagan” can be used as a unit of measurement that is equivalent to a very large number of anything (at least 4 billion or more). His name is also used when referring to the number of stars observable in the universe. This is called Sagan’s number and at the moment it’s estimated to be 300 sextillion.
One more trespasser and my bones wind chime will be complete. Or visitor, if I'm in a " f*** you world" day.
Load More Replies...My front porch roof is strung with wind chimes. No wonder the neighbors look at me funny.
What the bamboo and coconut shell ones in my garden warning off?
Shaman: "We can make that wolf our friend by scritching a spot on his lower back." Hunter: "No way! He'll kill me!" Little girl: "I'll do it! Come here, mister wolf..."
Some wolves didn't have the shy gene, so it was easier to approach humans, especially if they smelled meat, raw or cooked.
Apparently some anthropologists now think that reason Homo neanderthalensis died out is that they didn't domesticate wolves.
You guys really need to read "The Dog Master" by W. Bruce Cameron. It's great fiction about prehistoric humans taming the first wolves to be domesticated.
I love it when a 4 year old is so much more intelligent than a grown person.
And the Dateline show featuring her will start with "...but there were signs."
Load More Replies...Im sorry, but why can't the kid be "taught about behaving" the way other little children are? Maybe it's just my suffocating childhood coming through, but all this sugar and spice stuff gets me a little miffed. Why can't we raise children as equally as possible without all this mildly condescending parenting with girls. Again, this is just my opinion, I don't mean to offend anyone who believes differently.
That's why everyone likes this post, though. Because they were trying to condition her and instead she came back with an answer that was both accurate and hardcore.
Load More Replies...Or. This old lady is made of vodka and gin, Back talk me and I'll slap ya to the moon! (Oh c'mon, I can't be the only one laughing)
Load More Replies...To this day, Sagan is highly admired by many. He made many people curious about the world and even nudged some towards scientific careers. And sure, this list can never compare to the perfect knowledge and entertainment balance that he achieved in his masterpiece of a series, but, hey, it’s still pretty darn funny.
Me, a Japanese speaker who has heard a love song that mentioned being “only 10cm apart”: sounds like a you problem
The cowboy enters McDonalds, tosses his 37.85412 liter hat on the counter and orders a 113.3981 grammer. [Ten gallon hat, quarter pounder].
As a 🇩🇪, I was raised »metric« but the 804.672 km appeared to be quite misleading...I once learned to use a comma for this and a dot for not loosing track when navigating through 6+ digits...1000000...hm...1.000.000...okay......I read it as 804672 km...804,672 km and 804.672 km is definitely not the same...
I was kinda lucky I got taught in both metric and imperial, probably because the UK had just gone metric (early 70's) and needed a transitional period
I'm 58 years old and I'm in the U.S. I'm just too freaking old to learn the metric system. I don't care how much better and easier it is. My brain is tired and it refuses to learn a whole new way of measuring! 😊
Only sounds weird because your directly changing units to their actual value. I would walk 500k, then walk 500k more...
“Customary” sounds so much nicer than “Imperial” or, let’s face it “American and Liberian”.
♪But I'd wait a million years, walk 1609344 kilometers, cry a million tears...♫ Nope, it just don't have that ring to it.
Not gonna apologize or lose my place because you're staring.. you done looking?
And this is the reason I cannot live in Canada, the urge to boop the snoot/squish toe beans would likely end me
Best solution, only lower the temperature of the brain and lungs, leaving the rest of the body to roast as much as it wants. It can be done by breathing very cold air.
Yeah. Kinda wish we would stop thinking that low fevers are bad when it’s part of the body’s immune response to try and heal. If it gets higher than 39°C (102.2° in freedom units) then maybe take some acetaminophen or something. Otherwise just let it do its thing.
I'm going through that right now. Body and immune system cannot seem to meet to an agreement somewhere.
My body 99% of the time: we can easily take on any infection or virus. My body when it gets sick that 1%: OMG WE ARE GONNA DIE! THIS IS THE END!
In fact, you should make yourself even hotter to let your system do the job /gen.
The things we put up with. I mean, at least our kittens outgrow it quickly. Human kittens will grab you around the waist and drag you for years!
Naaaah they would rule the world with their laws, not human laws.
Load More Replies...How do you know they don't already know how to write but just refuse to?
If bananas are the Devil's bum grapes then sit on my face, Satan!
Load More Replies...Bacon and coffee never live up to the smell, but coffee's easier to get hold of than antidepressants.
I hear they're delicious when pan fried. Maybe throw in some ear mushrooms.
Load More Replies...If you want to shove fries up your nose, suit yourself. Me, I can’t be bothered.
I think they just used a stock image of an empty forest. I think they mean a brown bear though.
Load More Replies...Land full of tasty bugs and devoid of sharks. Use your mutated swim bladder to breath air. Glub Glub.
Load More Replies...Advice TO ancestor: Don't bother, stay in the water, your great*(10x10x100) grandkids just mess it all up, anyway.
This mf decided to take a stroll on land and here we are, paying bills n stuff
In all seriousness, the regenerating teeth would be awesome but wouldn't be feasible, because permanent, non-replacing teeth were actually one of the great innovations in the evolution of mammals. If your teeth are always falling out and growing back, you never run out, but you also can't develop feeding strategies that rely on your teeth meeting up in a certain way, a.k.a chewing. Permanent teeth allowed the first mammals to start specializing teeth to do different jobs; if their teeth were all in different stages of development, it wouldn't work, because once you get beyond simple plant-tearing pegs or sharp points, your teeth have to make contact with each other the same way all the time to be useable. ('The Rise And Reign Of The Mammals' is a fascinating book if you have any interest in evolutionary history.) Edit: book title
Ok but hear me out: we all get a third set at age 40 (minus wisdom teeth)
Load More Replies...You won’t believe how long it took my to spell that last word
Load More Replies...Knees. We need a better design for knees that don't wear out and need replacement every few decades.
I say no to bioluminescence cuz what if you couldn’t sleep cuz your eyelids were glowing? Unless we had it in patches/patterns like Seawings, that’s be cool
Mine is to allow the release of dopamine and serotonin on demand. I would pay good money for that upgrade!
lower back,yes please,where do I sign up ?......I kinda like and don't mind the "glitch" thing
The 'glitch' is your heart rate dropping so fast as you fall asleep that your brain panics and jolts you awake to check that you're not dying.
Load More Replies...Unlike most Internet trolls, most scientists are open to new ideas and possibilities
But they're easy to wind up. My biochemist ex could be instantly distracted as needed by asking him if a vegetable was organic. 'It's not f-ing INorganic, is it?'
Load More Replies...Ha ha ha. Or maybe this random YouTube video with 20 views will blow this one wide open!
i like how he had to lower his mask so that we could hear him. even though it's a comic so all we really could've done is read what he could've said with the mask on.
If you look at the strange propositions some scientists have exploded, you know that a true scientist will not care where the idea comes from, only that it's interesting. Scientists know perfectly well that expert blindness is a thing and some of the most important discoveries came from scientists watching children play or the 'layman's test' where you talk with someone outside of your echo bubble about your work to get a fresh point of view. Real scientists are very open to all kinds of questions and I when I was at uni we got explicitly told not to behave as if science was gospel. Science is supposed to explain and explore things, not to risk 'organizational blindness' and groupthink. Many important discoveries have been made by people we would call laymen nowadays. Examples are Gregor Mendel, Benjamin Franklin, Otto Lilienthal and the brothers Wright. All self educated workers who never got a formal degree.
There actually are people on the internet with interesting ideas and far too many scientists on industry payrolls. Something's gotta give.
Is it only a murder of crows when they’re on the ground (like a gaggle of geese, which then becomes a skein of geese when they fly into the air)?
Load More Replies...God: Crow: God: OK let's just make that a murder. Were gonna use flock for seagulls in the 80s. this is gonna kill... so murder.
Sending this to my daughter (whose boyfriend loves birds) right now. BRB.
So God made the crow, made him/her so witty, so it could answer God back!
Roborovski hamster. They're teeny tiny little speedy fluffs.
Load More Replies...There is (or was) a website called Tech Tales, which consisted mostly of stories about the computer illiterate. On of my favorite ones was the secretary calling in about her computer not working. She insisted it was the mouse. Based on the symptoms, it couldn't be just a mouse problem. So the tech goes onsite, opens up the computer, and all the cords are nibbled. The secretary said, "See? I told you it was the mouse!"
Yes, they do indeed have tiny, adorable tails.
Load More Replies...it USED to have a tail before bluetooth and wireless connections tho...
Daughter had a roborovski hamster named Fuzzy for a while. The furry little vampire was nicknamed Fuzzferatu.
The cowboy is holding a calf; somebody was out too late and had to be brought home from the party.
I actually like calling people humans because it sort of makes me feel like I’m not human which I wish was the case
In Sweden it is very common to refer to someone as "the human" especially when you're complaining about their behavior. "Vad tusan gör människan?" (What the heck is the human doing?) "Människan är inte klok" (The human is nuts) :D
Same in Netherlands, we don't have a word for people. We just call them 'mensen' aka humans in English. Person would be mens (or persoon if you want to be really formal and use an englishified word)
Load More Replies...My 18 year old went through a phase a few years back where she called everyone hummus beans... I still use that one!
Reminds of back in middle school when I couldn’t talk about science whit be caused everyone I know was a dumbass back then when it came to advanced biology
You can't drive a mobile home. You have to tow it. A van is still a big car.
To which I might add: my office doesn't have any windows at all and thank goodness we're moving.
I just need to know whether to keep my car windows up or down so I can maximize my efficiency.
I've never understood this. Surely an infinite number of monkeys wouldn't *eventually* produce Hamlet; they'd *instantly* produce Hamlet, because they'd occupy all possible points on the probability curve.
Have to admit to the incredibly obviousness of this conclusion. Well done!
A genius of observation who has enlightened us all. I wish I had realized this before...
Reminds me a bit of Orion, the sarcastic jerk of Howling Woods Farm. They use treats to encourage the wolves to get up on the platform so you can take pictures with them. Well Orion would walk up to the platform, lay down on it so his back paws stayed on the ground, eat the treat and just stay there, butt facing the cameras.
I saw a malamute waiting outside a shop for his people, he was sitting howling with his chin resting on the fence
Aww obviously not lazy. Probably has Chronic Fatigue Syndrome! Some people think it's a fake illness!!! yeah fake like your wolf can't eve get up!!
Shh! Listen to the lyrics: "I'm down. (I'm really down) I'm down. (Down on the ground) I'm down. (I'm really down) How can you laugh, when you know I'm down?" He's no Paul McCartney, but at least his heart (and the rest of him) are in the right place.
Dont go sticking your hands in those pockets, there is no loose change and if you touch me afterwards I'm gonna puke on your shirt... mucus is gross!! ITS A MUCUS pocket!! worse than a sweaty pocket!!
Where on earth have you got a sweaty pocket? Unless you're into rubber, in which case please ignore.
Load More Replies...Only girls have pockets sorry. And just to add we still can't fit much in there lol
Load More Replies...This would probably be a good time to say that biology was not my strongest subject in school
Load More Replies...I was researching water bottle brands and someone commented they liked a particular brand cause it’s easy to wash. Someone replied “why would you wash your bottle if it only holds water?” So yes there are people who NEVER wash their water bottles smh
So which one is easy to wash? Please share your findings (I'm genuinely interested, thank you)
Load More Replies...Please wash your water bottles once a week at minimum, more of you end up leaving one in your car for a day or two. You already have enough bacteria in your body; you don’t need to add any extra (at least not that way, though probiotics are good sometimes).
Entirely numeric passwords are a terrible idea because they're so easily brute-forced.
That's actually a myth. It's only for impossibly stupid brute force algorithms and impossibly stupid password reading software. A ten digit alphanumeric with symbols and capitals is not significantly more secure than a random 4 digit pin number. Because real hackers use password lists.
Load More Replies...Remember that post of the teacher and his board said Ra Ra Ah Ah Ro Ma Ga Ga or whatever? This is giving me flashbacks.
I mean, we all thought that about narwhals well into adulthood. Right? ....RIGHT??
Load More Replies...I know someone who thought that about Santa Claus, until I took him to Macy's and let him see for himself.
My FIL didn't think wolverines were real until i pointed them out to him in a zoo in Sweden
Load More Replies...A CPA friend of mine told me that he couldn't get through the day without his Adderall.
Load More Replies...Where was this absolutely perfect smartassed remark when I needed it most?
That is actually a great answer but sadly they will tell you back how Youtube is free for people and not edited by pedo socialist satanists like the washington post
These people have no idea what real research is. It takes years of practice/training and one of the key skills is to be constantly aware of one's own bias.
When I was in grad school, I took a 4-month course on research and statistics. Even though I'm not currently working in my field (clinical mental health counseling) I use what I learned in it all the time. Probably one of the most important classes I've ever taken.
Load More Replies...People who are subject matter experts will spend a considerable amount of time conducting their own research, attending academic conferences, speaking with other research and professionals, and papers. This meme is poking fun at the people who refuse to listen to the actual researchers and instead say that they’ve done their own research online and refuse to listen to what experts have to say.
Load More Replies...My new favorite pun after "Where do they keep rabbits in France? In the hutch back of Notre Dame"
Some secret pant are made to be eaten by butts.
Load More Replies...My dumbass read underwear as underwater and I was mighty confused for a sec
Half of us have secret shirts under our normal shirts... unless we're swimming, then it's just the one layer.
Lol, groinal? Oops, nevermind, I just looked it up. Carry on!
Load More Replies....-- .- - - / .. ... / .-.. --- ...- . / -... .- -... -.-- / -.. --- -. .----. - / .... . .-. - --.. / -- . / -.. --- -. .----. - / .... . .-. - --.. / -- . / -. --- / -- --- .-. ... .
Load More Replies...Please don't discuss Siemens. The SI unit of electrical conductance.
One Hertz is very low frequency. I've destroyed the joke. Sorry.
I think it’s homeboys face at the end xD like the amount of uncomfortableness you feel…
Load More Replies...My husband went to a restaurant across from a dock once. He asked the waitress if the fish was fresh. The waitress put her hand on her hip and said, "Honey, an hour ago it was swimmin'!"
i dont know because i dont laugh much because whats the point
When you are tired, do you yawn? If someone startles you, do you 'jump' slightly? They're called reactions to stimulus.
Load More Replies...Okay, I read the smithsonian article. The human race is deeply confused, and in need of serious therapy. I have this mental image of alien anthropologists reading the internet, and going "they did what?!?!?!" and face-palming. "The entire species is self destructive and insane. They must never be allowed to leave their solar system."
Actually, a lot more of them were burned instead of coal to fuel trains
I love how people were horrified by cannibalism, yet they did pretty much the same as cannibals.
Here's a fun and slightly disturbing article from National Geographic on the matter: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/history/article/mummy-eating-medical-cannibalism-gory-history
Actually this picture is my best photo of the biggest and most beautiful moon ive ever seen.
Moon changes size and make up. You know it's true, you can see it!
Load More Replies...I laughed, which sucks because this isn’t true! Waves come from wind, not the moon. Moon makes tides
Is he eating it or moving it? ... I thought he might be taking it home, but of course his home is on his back!
Snails are actually a lot faster than some people think they are, they inch, the don't just stay in place and let the wind carry them.
I used to read like this when I started to read in deutsch. Normal book and small dictionary. Because I thought I should always know the meaning of the word, then I realized that I only need to understand the sentence /context.
Load More Replies...I used to read like this when I started to read in deutsch. Normal book and small dictionary. Because I thought I should always know the meaning of the word, then I realized that I only need to understand the sentence /context
Seven books going at the same time for a while. Now I read one until I think of another subject I’d like to learn about. If I haven’t got one set I take myself back to Quantum mechanics, again…
If you read Stranger in a Strange Land (Heinlein) you’ll need a bible to refer to.
It's not 71% water, 71% of the surface is covered in water. About 0.02% of the Earth's mass is H2O
I am 1 on this scale, also can anyone else imagine different sides of something they’ve seen before without seeing the sides? Because if I see the side of say a bottle I am able to imagine what all other views of the bottle look like, I can also do that with rooms and I can imagine a room from a bunch of different angles and all of the people and objects in that room
Same here, the bottle wasn't a well picked example as the look pretty much the same from every side except if you look down on it or at the bottom. But yes, I can easily make a picture in my head form rooms, landscapes, various objects from different angles. I am still confused when realizing that thats not 'normal'.
Load More Replies...My brain is having conniptions trying to imagine being a 5 and NOT seeing objects as I think of them!!🍎
Yes, I literally can't imagine not being able to imagine
Load More Replies...Tbh, I'm not sure where I fall on the scale. Like I THINK I seea red apple but it's not super clear like if I were actually looking at a picture
As an artist, I imagine my paintings before I put brush to paper. I don't know how I'd be able to paint if I was a 5 on this scale! I wonder whether there are many artists who are 5s.
I used to be a 5, but I had health episode which means I'm now a 1, except when I'm dreaming 😔
Does this mean that when 5’s dream it’s just a bunch of words whizzing through the darkness?
People with aphantasia usually dream, we just can't do it intentionally or while waking.
Load More Replies...I'm a 5 but I've developed a neat workaround for this. I really like calculus and abstract spacial concepts like minkowski spacetime which are very hard to comprehend without visualization. I can't see inside my head, but I can render things and "feel" where they are. It's like the sense where you close your eyes but you can still tell where your limbs are. If I want to picture what a certain graph would look like or transform a plane in a 3 dimensional space (or higher which is a real trip to think about), I generate that concept and focus my eyes on a point to busy my vision while I go inside my mind to feel what I'm thinking of. It's a lot less complicated than it sounds and I can only do it with simple colorless shapes that have no visual properties, let alone something complex like an apple. I also have no words to narrate my thoughts so I think in essentially data and information with a background process that randomly cross references the things I know to make more connections.
I can read fast and am really good and pattern recognition, but my working memory is very lacking since I have no way to easily hold concrete information in words or images. Memorizing scripts and speeches is absolute hell for me and I have issues with not being very well spoken on the spot, but I can write pretty well since I understand words intuitively. Life is pretty interesting like this, I blame the neurodivergence for making me think like a computer lol.
Load More Replies...I never understood it when people would say “the mind’s eye” or “picture this”, or people would daydream. I just thought it meant thinking about it. I also don’t have an inner monologue. Like what is that? Do people hear a voice saying “You need to get up and go to the kitchen”. Is it like a voice in their head giving them directions? On the plus side, I have very vivid lucid dreams
I assumed everyone had intense visual imagery. I can smell and taste food as well- I’ve dreamt up flavours and made cakes etc from scratch. Not always successful!
I've lived here for 51 years and have *never* seen anything like this. Just sayin'
Load More Replies...I've lived here for 37 years and this is absolutely not something you're ever likely to see here. (DISCLAIMER: The above was not written by a spider).
I considered this for about 0.002 seconds, and concluded that I prefer snow.
In Europe we have, let's see; winter, spring, summer, autumn. In australia; spider, the list can go on
i think australia tried that but then everyone came in to "stop the wildfires that are causing people to die or go missing"
Load More Replies...No worries.. Its is not poisonous.. Just venomous.. So it is fine as long as none interested in biting you
pmsl that should be the UK storm warning scale 😆😆😆 along with "inside out umbrella" alerts
Something like this with Waffle House. Open: Everything is fine. Using a limited menu: Could be pretty bad, might want to stay home. Closed: Say your goodbyes, it is too late for you.
It always amazes me when people complain that they "aren't going to need something later in life." Sometimes knowledge is just good to expand your brain capacity and enlarge your knowledge base. I have never regretted having learned something and I have been surprised over my life how many things I thought were "useless" at the time have turned out to helpful later.
When I started doing electronic musical instrument repair, I was surprised at how all the trivia and "useless" knowledge I had acquired suddenly became necessary.
Load More Replies...Notice the people who say "I'm never going to need this" have no clue about what they are going to need.
I have so much useless stuff in my skull I have no room left for real knowledge.
Just to be the 'boring, joke-killing woman', the real one is DR ABC: Danger - is it safe for you to approach the casualty? Response - do they respond to you talking to them or tapping them? Airways - is there anything obviously obstructing their breathing? Breathing - are they breathing? Circulation - is their a leak in their circulatory system, i.e. lots of blood coming out? (Don't bother trying to find a pulse - most people struggle to do this and you'll waste valuable time. If their breathing isn't working, their heart won't be far behind) Hopefully that will help a fellow panda have a better idea what to do in an emergency. Oh, and call 999 / 112 / 911 or whatever your local emergency number is!
I don’t recommend saying “don’t bother trying to find a pulse” just because most people struggle with finding one. The internet is a great way to locate the numerous points on someone where you can attempt to find a pulse, but the most common one to feel for in an emergency situation is the carotid artery (in the neck, for those unaware). If there’s one there, it’s likely to be one of the strongest one you’d find rather than something like the ones located on the lower limbs.
Load More Replies...What kind of psycho puts on sock, then shoe, then sock, then shoe? Socks should be on before pants!
The only time to go sock-shoe/sock-shoe is when you've been swimming and the changing room floor is wet.
I leave my bra on when I brush my teeth before bed because the edge of the sink is very cold
None of my clothes have my name written in it, I just have to remember.
Mayo is disgusting and I hate how it's used on everything and I also put put both socks on first as I do that well before putting on both shoes
I always put my left sock on first (obviously when I'm putting on socks 😁)
I always do the right socks first and when comes to shoes, I do the same.
Load More Replies...This is not ' light science'. This is 'science has gone out of the room, shut the door and left the building'. It's probably got in its car and gone home.
You should look up Schrödinger’s douchebag on Urban Dictionary, best definition on there!
This is very not relevant to the point, but schrodinger's cat wasn't actually about how our perception of reality affects it, it's just simplified that way. It's actually a thought experiment criticizing quantum superposition, but that stuff is complicated, so it's simpler to just enjoy the cat in a box experiment. I hold no animosity towards people who aren't interested in the whole thing though because it really isn't that important.
As someone who has and does work at a thrift store... It is common for us to receive ashes of pets and or loved ones. Not an everyday occurrence but it's happened more times than you would think.
If the British museum don't stole your body first.
Load More Replies...Fun fact! Most bodies donated to science are used for things like practicing plastic surgery techniques, or ground up to be used in pen*s enlargement procedures.
Do not donate your body to science if you care at all what happens to it. they taped an old lady to a chair and blew her up to see what would happen. Human beings are f*****g sick.
I won't be using it anymore.
Load More Replies...And this is basically everything I remembered from school
Load More Replies...Caulerpa (a type of seaweed) is even bigger - it is also an organism that is one single cell with multiple nucleii.
Overachiever - I'm surrounded by siblings like you
Load More Replies...I read that same article a couple days ago and was briefly taken aback by the sun-gorilla as well
It's true. Yesterday I went to the shops and forgot to cover up my horrible grinning skull with fangs and people were very upset.
I wear a face every day. The kind that nicely say hi and do a chit-chat and then go home needing 3 days to recharge batteries.
Tiny compared with my plan to build a collider that circumnavigates Australia.
Or, in my husbands imagination, the entire world…
Load More Replies...People that don't give a s**t about science p**s me off to no end. Just because you don't understand the difference between the lhc and hl-lhc doesn't mean you should write it off as useless.
It ain’t the best Venn diagram I’ve ever seen. But then also not the worst.
Every country chip in and create one around the globe. Hitch a magnet to it using the kinetic energy to make transport possible on the surface .... I have more to add. Harrisswarman@gmail.com
If you think about it, scientists are the ultimate elitist group getting the most tax dollars for the smallest number of people.
I'm certain you've never benefited from advancements in medicine and engineering, right?
Load More Replies...So I get the shadow, but I'm trying to wrap my mind around the circular rainbow
This is mistaken for a circular rainbow but it's not. Rainbows are much larger. This is what's called glory. It's an optical effect due to sunlight interfering with small droplets, so things like clouds, mist, fog. It appears on the antisolar point, which means the opposite end of a line going through you from the sun. So naturally, it ends up right at your shadow.
That's just Jesus letting you know he has you surrounded in his love fellah. OK I"M GOING TO WRITE THAT THIS IS FACETIOUS. last time i made a joke I got banned.
rainbows are circles that just get cut in half by the ground. (source, BrainPop)
rainbows come from sunlight reflecting off of water vapor, clouds are made of water vapor.
All rainbows are actually rain circles, but because the earth is in the way, we see only a part of the circle.
I love sending this out on turkey day. The reply most often is "that's horrifying!" 😂😂
when they removed my eye (retinoblastoma) I did ask if I could keep it 😏,I was 13 at the time (almost 40yrs ago) but it had to go off for biopsy....I was an odd kid 😁
I would think most 13 yr olds would think it's cool to have an eyeball in a jar.
Load More Replies...Nobody’s ever asked me if they could keep it. Not sure if I am allowed to let them, now that I think about it. I’ll try to remember next time I do this.
I wanted my fibroids, so I could put a bonnet and nappy on the huge container and show bragging parents the fruit of my womb. Largest was 9lb, it had a lot of friends. They didn't even get me a photo as they were too busy stopping me from bleeding to death. Had to look them up on line to see what they might have resembled.
Not unless it's rare. Then I'd get my microscope out. Remember that Hooke kept fleas.
Load More Replies...Yeah mens are so affraid of women we never heard about men hitting, raping or killing a woman like ever !
Tbh my cats are not at all scared of my dog. And if your dog is scared of you, you’re probably a less than decent owner. And if you’re scared of your partner, it’s probably a toxic relationship. Yep I know this is just a meme, but I’m just bored today.
One of my favorite genres of photos is of the cat on the dog's bed, and the dog being too afraid to do anything about it.
Load More Replies...I'm a woman (totally not a spider, honest!) and I'm not scary. Nor am I afraid of roaches.
Unfortunately many dogs and cats are terrified of their owners. Dogs are man's best friend, but some humans are not dog's best friend. Quite the contrary.
Load More Replies...Okay, I’ve gotten to the bottom of this list, and my cat is still asleep on my shoulder, and never stays on me this long. I desperately need a shower and to get on with my day, but he’s softly purring in my ear. He also copies me if I take a deep breath in, it’s so cute! What do I do???
Okay, I’ve gotten to the bottom of this list, and my cat is still asleep on my shoulder, and never stays on me this long. I desperately need a shower and to get on with my day, but he’s softly purring in my ear. He also copies me if I take a deep breath in, it’s so cute! What do I do???
