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“Welcome to the Alpha Zone”: 40 Absurdly Masculine Takes That Are So Bad, They Had To Be Shamed On This Twitter Page (New Posts)
Before the Internet, most stupid things that were said were simply forgotten, as if evaporated into thin air. Poof, gone. But now, since the dawn of the Twitter-era where every voice is amplified, there are so many wrong takes, most of them drowning in testosterone, that it would be a real shame to let them go away without proper appreciation. And that's where 'Hot Masculinity Takes' community comes in.
From ridiculous Andrew Tate wannabes spewing absurdly ridiculous opinions to 'gigachads' who, as you'll see in today's list, compares Socrates to the man himself, 'Hot Masculinity Takes' has proven itself to be a page we don't deserve, but one that we need - today, more than ever before. Without further ado, "Welcome to the Alpha Zone," dear readers. And if you're hungry for more, you can check out our previous 'Hot Masculinity Takes' post.
This post may include affiliate links.
It's easy to be ridiculous and sink to base misogyny, but to do it without a glimmer of irony is where the real genius of the 'Hot Masculinity Takes' collection lies. Speaking to Bored Panda about the origins of their page in 2021, four years after it was created, the founder reveals that its original goal wasn't to make fun of 'toxic masculinity' - a catchall explanation for Andrew Tate-admiring Chads who try to preserve outdated ideals of masculinity to the point of absurdity.
"I will say that it’s not purely about 'toxic masculinity,'" the person behind 'Hot Masculinity Takes' explained to my colleague Rokas. "I do draw a lot from the manosphere but a lot of the takes are from women speaking about men, and I include left-wing hot takes too." Since 2017, the page has garnered thousands of new followers, currently sporting a number shy of 155,000.
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#2
Although the term 'toxic masculinity' has gained recent popularity among feminists, many will be surprised to learn that it actually was coined in the mythopoetic men's movement of the 1980s and '90s by Shepherd Bliss, a psychology professor at John F. Kennedy University in Orinda, California, who only wanted to capture his "father's militarized, authoritarian masculinity."
By those days' definition, nobody would suspect that one of America’s greatest writers, the ultimate man's man, Ernest Hemingway, could be "the avatar of toxic masculinity." In this day and age, depending on who you ask, however, Hemingway might be just as bad to young men's masculinity as rock and roll was to our grandparents (due to the fact that for a short period of time it was considered 'Devil's music').
There's no surprise in the fact that perception of masculinity has been shifting in the last few years, with people associating it with aggression and being inconsiderate. On the other hand, the 2017 Pew Research Center survey, while being pretty outdated, shows some fascinating metrics. In terms of self-perception, approximately 31% of American men identified themselves as "highly manly or masculine", while 54% described themselves as "somewhat masculine." Only a small percentage of 15% considered themselves as "not too or not at all masculine." Fair enough.
A compelling statistic that I came across, thanks to GQ magazine, is from their "Survey of Attitudes on Masculinity" conducted in 2019. The survey revealed that among those who are familiar with the term "toxic masculinity," 26% of men acknowledged witnessing it in the workplace, while only 37% of women agreed with the statement. These numbers, all things considered, seem fairly significant, although the ultimate goal remains to strive for a complete eradication of such instances in the future.
#9
KJ 2 years ago
Why would we want breast milk ice cream? Also why is being obsessed with cows a good thing? Weird post!
Zedrapazia 2 years ago
Maybe he wants her to bang the cow because he believes she'd make free cow milk or shït
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Marcellus II 2 years ago
But judging from his chosen photo, he's not that 100% sharp on what cows are. Not that the rest of his facts and thoughts are more grounded.
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Dolly_of TheCowboy 2 years ago (edited)
I think perhaps what he is seeking is an ABF relationship to satisfy his fetish requirements
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Mario Strada 2 years ago
Please!!! It's making me long for the good old days of foot fetishes.
banana for scale 2 years ago
"not on birth control" but then if they get pregnant, you leave them, yet you refuse to wear condoms and get mad when she declines sex. tf is she supposed to do??
ThreeAngryLlamas 2 years ago
Sounds like lil' old lesbian me who doesn't give a f*ck what men want.
Daycare Attendant Sun 2 years ago
I'm on birth control because I have stage 4 endometriosis and had a 2 inch cyst removed from my left ovary. Okie-dokie.
David Martin 2 years ago
2 out of 8 are on my list, so maybe something's wrong with me? (PS: It's loving and graceful)
Red Lotus 🪷 2 years ago
Aaaaand these type of people make everyone think homeschooling is some sort of brainwashing cult!
ConstantlyJon 2 years ago
breast milk ice cream though? ummmmmmm. also what is arm candy, because it sounds really damn good.
Natty Tempest 2 years ago
And you meet across a crowded family reunion? Personal fantasy does not become a standard by being tweeted.
Danish Susanne 2 years ago (edited)
If this were true of all men, I wouldn't want a man in my life at all.
Stephen Hutchison 2 years ago
What a lovely fantasy picture. Why is that pregnant woman standing so close to an electric fence? If she were to trip into it there could be serious issues. Oh right, because it's a fake pregnancy pad and she, the faceless symbol, and the little girl with the secret symbolism of death (black dress) are actually both MODELS. Human breast milk ice cream? Really? What a stupid idea. I hope this is satire.
Bored Trash Panda 2 years ago
breast milk ice cream? excuse me while i go throw up in the corner.....
Robert Beveridge 2 years ago
ngl I agree with the "obsessed with cows" part, because all the best people are. The rest is hog--erm, cow--wash
Vicki Doggurl 2 years ago
I think this person is the one that wants someone like that. “Breast milk ice cream?!?” Really??
Reinaldo Fuentes 2 years ago
And here I thought the "breasted boobily" meme would never be outdone. I stand corrected. Breast-milk ice cream. Sweet Jebus.
P.A. Yearsley 2 years ago
I can never eat ice cream again without thinking about this. Thanks, I think...
Pineapple (he/him) 2 years ago
no i dont, i want more lightsabers and a katana and a tank and a mosin nagant and to see my brother more
Jen M 2 years ago
Omg that went from weirdly misogynistic to psychotically f*****g creepy. Fresh breast milk ice cream? U just KNOW this man has been dreaming of fresh breast milk ice cream since his own mother stopped breast feeding him when his constant demands for fresh breast milk ice cream finally creeped her out too much. Just typing fresh breast milk ice cream repeatedly, made me feel like a creep. WTF...
Mike Fitzpatrick 2 years ago
And obvious, even to those with closed eyes, the individual who spouts this nonsense is not identified. This is one of the things that irritate me to no end about posting c**p on the internet. If you can't take accountability for what you say STFU.
Ovata Acronicta 2 years ago
Just admit you wanna suck on the tiddy dude, like...ice cream? stop.
Chewie Baron 2 years ago
But…he’s shown a mother and child with horses? Or maybe these are those rare neighing cows?
The voice of reason 2 years ago
Fresh breast milk ice cream???? Isn't that what ice cream is already made of?
Nice Beast Ludo 2 years ago
NO ONE is dying to make breast milk ice cream for you a*****e. Do you know how difficult it is to just make enough breast milk to nourish their infant??? Idiot!!
Nice Beast Ludo 2 years ago
REALLY? MEN WANT SOMEONE NOT ON BIRTH CONTROL??? I didn't even read the rest. I'm sure men LOVE taking a woman on a date that doesn't work out and getting THAT call 6 weeks later
Gidget Girl 2 years ago
I want my women birth control free so I can force her to make more of my babies! Forced births, so fun.
Nathan Pogorzala 2 years ago
buying property with land is not homesteading. Glamourizing having a few acres. People are nuts.
Cosmologist wannabe 2 years ago
wow. finally something actually kind of respectable from you. Hope that becomes a habit.
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Lolly Gagger 2 years ago (edited)
I want to do all those things…I 100% do not want a man that demands all those things.
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
1. Isn't on BC. NO. 2. Is loving, graceful, yes. 3. Who wants to buy a farm? NO. The land belongs to the original/first people, give it back. 4. Homeschool the kids? NO, that turns them into mindless religious drones who end up creating more duggars. EEEW. GROSS. You live in a society and a country with laws that govern all: learn about them and learn to get on with other races. Survivalist moron with your white replacement myth. 5. Obsessed with cows. Ew again. No, you do NOT need to abuse animals for food. 6. OK thanks for making a weird fetish statement. I get that cow milk is weird so you do not need to get human milk as well. Thanks. Unless you are two, which, judging by this remark, your brain is about 2...
Cosmologist wannabe 2 years ago
no. not all homeschooling brainwashes people.
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#11
David 2 years ago
It's fun to imagine them stroking out if they knew I held her purse and other clothes while she tried stuff on. One time I accidentally touched a wrapped tampon and it almost made my penis fall off but then I drank a beer, ate a rare steak and screamed the name of my favorite team and I felt a bit better. /s
The desirability of masculinity, like anything else, depends on how you define it. And so, in order to understand the phenomenon of 'toxic masculinity' better, Bored Panda reached out to Michael Karson, a professor at the University of Denver's Graduate School of Professional Psychology. According to him, 'toxic masculinity' has morphed into a heavy-handed term, one that carries many misconceptions.
"Horrible things that some men do are not extensions of positive traits like assertiveness, ambition, and courage, just as the vile things that mean girls do under the labels of gossip, ostracism, and character assassination are not extensions of positive traits like social grouping or emotional bonding. Both sets of bad behavior involve dehumanizing other people," Karson explains, noting that bad behavior shouldn't be associated strictly with gender, rather with a person's psychology.
Otherwise, men could start to fear that once respected traits like assertiveness, standing up for what’s right or speaking truth to power have become "villainized in our conflict avoidant society." Something that can drive young men to display hyper-masculinity, according to one survey by YouGov.
#14
David Wambold 2 years ago
LOL. Yeah that's why. I am so intimidated by orange skin and a balding head.
Karson believes that while there's some good in condemning horrible aggressive behavior to 'toxic masculinity', we should be careful of how we characterize it. "If a man robs someone, it’s a political choice whether to construe him as a man or as someone who is enraged or desperate or antisocial," he said. "This also happens with race: when a Black person commits a crime, depending on the political agenda, he can be characterized as Black or as desperate, or as enraged."
#15
Petra Schaap 2 years ago
demanding it like that, they must be glad the women only yell back and dont put that microphone stand in a place where the sun doesnt shine.
#17
Zoe DiAnni 2 years ago
Omg women unite and lock Samira in a classroom somewhere, she obviously needs more of an education
Based on the "Man Box Study" conducted by Promundo in 2017, which surveyed over 1,000 men aged 18 to 30 in the United States, it was discovered that 72% of participants reported being told that there is a specific way in which a "real man" should behave. Additionally, the study found that 59% of respondents agreed with the notion that men should display strength even if they feel scared or anxious internally, while 40% believed that men should handle their personal issues without seeking assistance from others.
Of course, these are completely outdated sets of ideals that organizations such as A Call to Men try to root out from our society. "I’m not sure how much control parents really have on their children’s gender development in a culture that sends pervasive messages about what girls and boys are supposed to be like," Karson said, "but I would advise parents to teach kids how to think critically and skeptically about those messages."
"Also, if parents can love their children wholly, the children may be more likely to integrate their various conflicting agendas, including their sons’ needs for tenderness and their daughters’ needs for achievement."
#28
Mario Strada 2 years ago
Or maybe classical sculptures didn't want to put a giant dong on their statues because it would be the first thing to be broken off.
#33
Lawrencium 2 years ago
I like the "my friend's wives" rather than "my friends' wives" suggesting he only has one friend (with multiple wives).
#34
CanadianDimes 2 years ago (edited)
As someone who used to teach human osteology, I can assure you that none of the bones in the skull are soft. In fact, none of the bones anywhere in our bodies are soft. Also female skulls are not flat (wtf does that even mean!). There are some *general* sex-based characteristics of the skull that, when taken *together* can give you a pretty good idea if the skull was female or male - but that is also dependent on where on the gradient those traits lie (it's not an either/or thing) and it doesn't tell you anything about the person themselves (e.g., their gender identity), only if the skeleton was likely to be biologically female or biologicaly male.
#37
cats_from_the_void 2 years ago
F**K YOU, YOU LITTLE S**T IF YOU WERE THE PRIZE AT THE END OF A MARATHON ALL WOMEN WOULD WALK BACKWARDS. AS AN ASIAN I WOULD NOT F*****G GO WITHIN 10METRES OF THIS CLOWN WITH A BROOMSTICK.
#42
cats_from_the_void 2 years ago
For anyone wondering, this "samerra khan' person is a female version of Andrew Tate :( i was desperately hoping she was a fake account run by a creep but no :(
#43
#47
#49
Vix Spiderthrust 2 years ago
This is the guy who was offered an evacuation to the USA and said "I don't need a lift, I need weapons". Considerably more hardcore than any guy who uses Twitter as a penis extension.
#52
Tucker Cahooter 2 years ago
I love how these men speak so authoritatively about how women think
#54
Nathan Pogorzala 2 years ago
2 of them are barely literate, one is a sexual assaulting scumbag and the other is just human diarrhea Trump.
#56
cats_from_the_void 2 years ago
... except, socrates had a brain and he wasn't a weirdo who calls himself ' cobra' tate to sound like a fourth grader trying to impress his friends with his ' gang ' nickname
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What do you think ?
R Dennis 2 years ago
I made it to the 20s before I had to ripcord...I could literally feel the intelligence void in every sentence. I was getting a headache.
similarly 2 years ago
Are there really SO many people who think this way? Where do these people come from? What century is this? How is it possible for so many people to be this ... whatever this is!
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
now you understand how trump got voted in: baboons.
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Rayven 2 years ago
I made it through this article but I seemed to have lost hearing in my left eye.
Mark Fuller 2 years ago
Oh god. These are as frightening as they are offensive. Do people ACTUALLY think this way? How ignorant and harmful to society can people be? Makes me uber angry...
Tim 2 years ago
They do. And they're getting more and more problematic every day.
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Lana Lana Banana 2 years ago
I read your comment before I even started on the list and I should have listened 😭😭😭😭😭
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Spongebob Sadpants 2 years ago
Well I hate everything and I'm gonna curl up in a hole and die.
Lana Lana Banana 2 years ago
Ummmm, I hope you realize I was joking and just making a SpongeBob reference.
Load More Replies... Petra Schaap 2 years ago
i gave up on reading that cr@p. Too much random sh!t that doesnt make any sense in any way. If someone will adress me like that in real life i would just turn around and walk away. No discussion, no "sure hon" nothing.
Terran 2 years ago
Like anyone of them would have the guts to actually talk to someone like that in real live...
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Isabelle Lamarque 2 years ago
This might be the first time I'll say ''that's enough Internet for today.'' and truly mean it. 🥴🤦🏻♀️
SheamusFanFrom1987 2 years ago
After reading this, I'm about to channel my inner dragon and go Fus Ro Dah on some, if not all of these posters -_-
detective miller's hat 2 years ago
This entire list is why I have chosen to be single forever.
kansasmagic 2 years ago
It is now my life mission to work "performing the act of suction", or variants thereof, into every conversation I ever take part in.
Tamara Negrey 2 years ago
So I can kind of understand the laziness of wanting a woman to do everything for you and wait on you hand and foot, but I really don't get the "keeping your semen" thing and no pussy licking or a**l sex, I thought men generally like those things?
R Dennis 2 years ago
I made it to the 20s before I had to ripcord...I could literally feel the intelligence void in every sentence. I was getting a headache.
similarly 2 years ago
Are there really SO many people who think this way? Where do these people come from? What century is this? How is it possible for so many people to be this ... whatever this is!
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
now you understand how trump got voted in: baboons.
Load More Replies... Rayven 2 years ago
I made it through this article but I seemed to have lost hearing in my left eye.
Mark Fuller 2 years ago
Oh god. These are as frightening as they are offensive. Do people ACTUALLY think this way? How ignorant and harmful to society can people be? Makes me uber angry...
Tim 2 years ago
They do. And they're getting more and more problematic every day.
Load More Replies... Lana Lana Banana 2 years ago
I read your comment before I even started on the list and I should have listened 😭😭😭😭😭
Load More Replies... Spongebob Sadpants 2 years ago
Well I hate everything and I'm gonna curl up in a hole and die.
Lana Lana Banana 2 years ago
Ummmm, I hope you realize I was joking and just making a SpongeBob reference.
Load More Replies... Petra Schaap 2 years ago
i gave up on reading that cr@p. Too much random sh!t that doesnt make any sense in any way. If someone will adress me like that in real life i would just turn around and walk away. No discussion, no "sure hon" nothing.
Terran 2 years ago
Like anyone of them would have the guts to actually talk to someone like that in real live...
Load More Replies... Isabelle Lamarque 2 years ago
This might be the first time I'll say ''that's enough Internet for today.'' and truly mean it. 🥴🤦🏻♀️
SheamusFanFrom1987 2 years ago
After reading this, I'm about to channel my inner dragon and go Fus Ro Dah on some, if not all of these posters -_-
detective miller's hat 2 years ago
This entire list is why I have chosen to be single forever.
kansasmagic 2 years ago
It is now my life mission to work "performing the act of suction", or variants thereof, into every conversation I ever take part in.
Tamara Negrey 2 years ago
So I can kind of understand the laziness of wanting a woman to do everything for you and wait on you hand and foot, but I really don't get the "keeping your semen" thing and no pussy licking or a**l sex, I thought men generally like those things?
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