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“What’s Something That’s Hot In Books But Repulsive In Real Life?” (40 Answers)
Interview With Expert
Many people read books to escape reality and get lost in the fantasy world. However, sometimes authors depict things in a way even the most dedicated fiction readers can’t get behind.
Recently, the romantasy genre lovers were discussing behaviors that are romanticized in books but actually are repulsive in real life. Scroll down to find them, and make sure to leave your own observations in the comments below.
While you're at it, don't forget to check out a conversation with Jeanne De Vita, award-winning author and editor, creative writing instructor at UCLA Extension, and founder of Book Genie, as well as Michelle M. Pillow, NYT and USA Today bestselling author of Romance, Cozy Mystery, and Paranormal Women’s Fiction, who kindly agreed to chat with us more about romanticized yet repulsive IRL tropes in romantasy books.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Sleeping all tangled together. I cannot sleep that way, when it comes to sleep do not. frickin. touch. me. lol.
Tabitha 10 months ago
And if their arm is under you, your head ends up at an angle that 100% guarantees you’ll have a painful crick in your neck the next day.
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UpupaEpops 10 months ago
I'm a permanently hypothermic lizard. Unless it's above 25 Celsius, please, cuddle me.
Still Going 10 months ago
My husband says my usual body temperature is that of a hibernating reptile. Unfortunately, he tends to overheat with more than a few minutes of cuddling.
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StrangeOne 10 months ago
I tend to sweat like a pink hippo at night, waking up soaked sometimes. No touchy.
Riley Quinn 10 months ago
Not only do I not want another human in my bed, I don't even want them in the same room. There's nothing appealing about moans, groans, tossing and turning, bad breath, and farts. What is appealing is a good night's sleep. I make an exception for cats.
RELATED:
#2
Kissing someone to make them shut up. Anyone did that to me my fist would meet their gut.
UpupaEpops 10 months ago
Depends on why I'm not shutting up. One of the wonderful "gifts" I've received from my mother is that if I'm experiencing "big feelings", I start going in circles and repeat myself over and over and have trouble breaking from it, without an outside prompt. If I'm scared or panicking, a nice tight hug and a kiss would help. If I'm angry, it most likely wouldn't. (Yes, I'm working on it.)
ohnasouga... 10 months ago
I don't know why you were downvoted for stating your experience, without generalizing this to other people, so here's an upvote
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Roxy222uk 10 months ago
I know this is in films and dramas, but specifically when a woman is angry about something and the man shuts her up by kissing her. So disrespectful and demeaning! He does not deserve to be in any relationships at all until he learns to deal with other people's feelings appropriately. And teaching the world that a woman's anger 'doesn't count' and she's just 'being unreasonable' infuriates me.
Mike Crow 10 months ago
What if the woman did it to a man? Are they allowed to punch her in the gut?
Kim Karlotta 10 months ago
Why is that the first question to come to your mind? Also how many men have you met that has happened to?
Load More Replies... Riley Quinn 10 months ago
Go ahead try it. I've got some new dental work I'd like to test out.
Rich Black 10 months ago
A woman who talks constantly AND is physically violent. Everyone's dream girl . . .
#3
Moody secretive men who won’t discuss anything about themselves or their history, but are super hot. Their only interactions with FMC they are irritated because they’re trying to control primal urges. FMC can’t get him out of her head and tries to interact with him more.
Real life: I’m sorry, but if you’re rude and act like I’m annoying, I’m going to leave and never think about you again. There’s no one hot enough for me to put up with that. It’s not intriguing and I don’t want to fix you.
UpupaEpops 10 months ago
It's pretty hurtful imo. I get that guys (mostly) have different coping mechanisms and talking it out (with a woman) isn't one of it, but it's really hurtful to ask your partner what's up, only for them to completely shut you out and give one of those "alpha male" speeches on how you as a woman would never be able to understand their feelings, blabla
Earonn - 10 months ago
Any man starting that alpha male s**t would be out of my life. At once. They can play with their incel friends and the rape Tates.
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Floeckchen 10 months ago
Would be funny to write a book where as soon as the LI pulls this sh*t the FMC just goes "K bye then!" and the book is finished.
Nice Beast Ludo 10 months ago
Edward Cullen. Blech. Controlling a*****e. I'm a werewolf kind of girl. Who wants cold as ice concrete skin when you can have a 107 degree man who turns into a massive wolf??
Riley Quinn 10 months ago
I've never been intrigued by a silent mystique and find it extremely annoying and untrustworthy.
CA Hyde 10 months ago
If he is sexy, use him for a while, then move on - no need to fall in love every time.
Becca not Becky 10 months ago (edited)
Is this an overused trope? Yes. Does it still work? Also yes (only in books)
"Exploring the contrast between what’s thrilling in fiction but unsettling in real life is something I often navigate in my writing, especially in my paranormal romance and fantasy worlds," said Michelle M. Pillow, NYT and USA Today bestselling author of Romance, Cozy Mystery, and Paranormal Women’s Fiction to Bored Panda.
Her favorite trope to write about that is quite disturbing in reality is the fated mate—two people irresistibly drawn together by an unbreakable, supernatural bond. "In fiction, it’s all-consuming, swoon-worthy, and layered with tension. But in real life? If someone showed up claiming destiny had decided we must be together, I’d be reaching for a restraining order," she joked.
"This is a trope I love playing with in my books, especially in the fan-favorite relationships of my Dragon Lords series. These guys are the ultimate believers in love at first sight—they even have crystals that glow to tell them who they’re meant to be with. It’s excellent for futuristic fantasy, but can you imagine a stranger telling you a magic rock wants you to get married?"
#4
Dirty talk. I’m sorry, it takes me out of it. I’m too analytical and in my head for it and a lot of the time it sounds cringey as hell. Heck even when reading sometimes I hate it when it’s overdone and I’m like “dude, please stop talking, you’re ruining it for me!”.
April Pickett 10 months ago
I just skip those parts if it isn't good or a necessary part of the story.
BeesEelsAndPups 10 months ago
I never liked it myself, and always felt self conscious about it. But one day I was riding the train to NYC, and my girlfriend was texting me and started egging me on to send her sorry texts. So I let my hangups go and tried it. And OMG it was hot 🔥
Nice Beast Ludo 10 months ago
Ewwww I hate it. My ex would. I would say "shut the f**k up STOP TALKING" and he would get all huffy and pouty. Sometimes it would get so bad I started laughing so hard I couldn't t stop and he would get real pissed
Sordatos 10 months ago
Maybe if you guys had an actual communication on what turns on each other instead of just dismiss and laugh at the other ..
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#5
Whenever one of them rescues the other from weeks of imprisonment or w.e. and they immediately start making out. As a dental hygiene freak I have to try very hard to pretend they wouldn’t have awful reeking breath.
Lavern Defazio 10 months ago (edited)
This!! And when they just eat or wake up. Although, they just might have had worse things in their mouths.
Tabitha 10 months ago (edited)
Just look at HBO series The Wire. The lead cop is also a drunk and womanizer. How he’s successful with women is beyond me, because he’s gross. There’s a scene where he’s 100% blotto and flirting with some women in the bar. He goes to the bathroom, pisses, pukes, does not wash his hands or mouth, then goes right out of the bathroom, grabs one of the women, and gives her a deep, tongue down the throat, soul kiss, with his pukey mouth and pee fingers—-and she loves it! WT Actual F? In the first place, no self-respecting woman would let a sloppy drink anywhere near her, and would certainly not let him grab her, paw her, and kiss her like that without, at minimum, kneeing him in the groin HARD.
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Melinda Landis 10 months ago
And…bathing never seems high on anyone’s list after…imprisonment, traveling for weeks without access…
Lee451 Henderson 10 months ago
I feel that most people have that normally. Brush before that good night kiss!
Say No to Downvoting 10 months ago
Pretty much and making out…or physical contact at all in any kind of period drama. Everyone was stinky in the olden days.
David Jeffery 10 months ago
I would imagine if you've been trapped somewhere - weeks of imprisonment - the very LAST thing you'd want to do is bump uglies.
#6
Hand on the throat. I don’t even really find it hot in books, but less so in real life, lol.
Milord Cutter 10 months ago
I never quite understood that, but I also can't understand why S&M would turn someone on.
Donna Drizin 10 months ago
This is something that should never become a sexy thing. It is abuse.
WindySwede 10 months ago
Kissing can be abuse, if not consensual. Adults enjoying sex together who to kinky things are a thing. But must be respect between them.
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Another one of her favorites is the morally gray antihero. "So much fun to write, but in real life, red flags would be waving like it’s a parade. Fiction allows us to examine power, redemption, and emotional intensity in a way that’s thrilling and consequence-free. It gives us the space to ask, What if? while safely knowing we can close the book at any time," Michelle explains.
#7
Cheating. Forbidden, sexy and exciting in novels, particularly when written well. In reality, it disgusts the hell out of me.
Janelle Collard 10 months ago
And when the female character takes the cheater back? Anybody else get the urge to throw the book thru a window? Also - shout, yell + exclaim about how dumb, etc., the female is?
Auntriarch 10 months ago
Me, 50 years ago. In fact I would rather read sci fi from then, because at least they had the excuse of being old school. Now it's even worse. I'm sorry, I thought we were going to make a difference...
Load More Replies... #8
Obsessive men.
Alex Schneider 10 months ago
best shortstory about obsessiv men..well done
Load More Replies... #9
Sharing one small bed after a long a*s day. I need to be able to starfish.
Fat Harry (Oi / You) 10 months ago
It's funny you say that, because I had that exact conversation with someone yesterday, about how twenty years ago I needed to stay with my girlfriend in her university halls for a week, sharing a single bed, and that you can do that when you're young. Now, at 43, I hardly want to share a king size bed!
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Jon Parker 10 months ago
Never heard splaying out on the bed called "starfish" before, but I love it! XD
Roshan Kassan 10 months ago
Not starfish, BUT i would nap in my chair - yes, i. have A Chair... LOL
JoMeBee 10 months ago
No, the dog gets the middle 50%. Husband gets 40%I, I get the rest...
Load More Replies...Meanwhile, Jeanne De Vita, award-winning author and editor, creative writing instructor at UCLA Extension, and founder of Book Genie, shares that she adores writing about alpha males. "The swoony heroes who live to protect and who charge past morally gray boundaries and into the darkest aspects of humanity (always, of course, for "reasons"). In reality, I'm a bit of an alpha female who tends to resist/reject patriarchy, inequality, and masculine aggression in all its forms."
#10
"Touch her and die" possessive dudes would be f*****g embarrassing.
Sorry about my macho 6'4 boyfriend with many insecurities and no more than one shirt in his possession. He doesn't know how to act right.
Tabitha 10 months ago (edited)
I am quite capable of saying, “Touch me and you die”, and capable of following through on that promise, all by myself—-and make it so he’ll never see it coming. I am not a violent person, but everyone has their line in the sand, you know.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 10 months ago
It's even worse in some of these romance books where the heroine is sassy, spunky, fierce, brave, and willing to fight everyone for what she believes in!!!! ....and yet she constantly needs "protecting" by the male main character who has to tell everyone around them "Touch her and die!" or else she's getting abducted or attacked every 30 seconds. But yet she's soooo capable and fierce and brave at every other moment.. XD
Load More Replies... Auntriarch 10 months ago (edited)
When I had not long been married, a chap returned something to our car by opening the passenger door and putting the item onto the driver's seat via the passenger door and incidentally my not inconsiderable chest. I gave the chap a good slap , he complained to Mr Auntriarch, who assured him that he was lucky I was already seat belted, otherwise it would have been more painful.
Maggie Fulton 10 months ago
Based on the relationships I’ve seen in my family, guys who are overprotective tend to turn into controlling and sometimes abusive jerks when the relationship gets serious or the couple is married.
#11
Outdoor s*x. It’s fun in theory, until you’re got sand and mystery substances in your cheeks. Also I’m terrified of bugs getting inside me somehow 😭😖.
Alex Schneider 10 months ago
and ticks and fireants ..Just lay me on satin sheets please- I am sure I don't look sexy when Iam paranoid shaking my arms and legs to get the mosquitos away
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Billo66 10 months ago
Yeah sex in the rain sounds romantic till you're sliding off the hood of your car lol
Roshan Kassan 10 months ago
'mystery substances in your cheeks' - visions of chipmunks.... How would bugs... wait i don't wanna know.
#12
Jealousy of any kind for me. like i love jealousy in books (not at dark romance levels but still) but IRL i have never truly experienced jealousy & it is pretty much a deal breaker. This is not including like healthy, developmentally normal jealousy, I mean the book kind if that makes sense.
Julia Ford 10 months ago
Some people love to have a jealous partner. I think it’s annoying, it is a bad look.
Tropical Tarot 10 months ago
Yeah I had some woman texting me asking how I knew her husband. I'm in a group chat for board games and I've met the man twice. Besides he's definitely not my type. He cheats at board games.
Load More Replies... April Pickett 10 months ago
I have, it's soooooooooooooooo embarrasing. You always say something stupid.
Auntriarch 10 months ago
Jealousy has no place in a good relationship. You either trust them, or not. I rather enjoy it when people try to flirt with Mr Auntriarch. Because I know they are on a hiding to nothing. It's cute.
The rising popularity of romantasy books in recent years makes it clear that not only do writers enjoy writing about these toxic character traits but fans are also absolutely loving reading them. Of course, we were curious to understand why.
"Romance is the genre that allows female readers to safely explore the real issues that we battle in every day life with a guarantee (yes, a guarantee) that no matter the journey, we will end up safe, fulfilled, and happy. In real life, toxic men and toxic relationships are an inevitable part of the social contract. The statistics don't lie," says Jeanne.
#13
Claiming bites on the neck, enough to draw blood .
Jeffery Gorgonzola 10 months ago (edited)
I mean, I feel like light nips would be fine, but painful/drawing blood. Nty pls leave
Auntriarch 10 months ago (edited)
Not drawing blood. That's GBH . And at that point, it can be difficult to ensure consent
#14
A man telling me what to do 😭 in a book im like ok daddy! 🙂↕️ in real life im like 🔫🔪.
April Pickett 10 months ago
In real life,, men want to tell you what to do. They want to fix "it" for you so that it is no longer a problem. Unfortunately, we don't care about fixing "it," we want to vent. We'll fix "it" later.
Louisa johnson 10 months ago
I don’t know why you were downvoted for having a personal preference. If that’s how you feel about your approach to relationships then that’s your business. Someone is trying to “fix” your opinion with downvotes. I upvoted you vent away x
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#15
“Good girl.”.
Skogsrået 10 months ago
But.... what if she's a raptor? I mean Blue was a good girl don't you think?
Polly Fukuhara 10 months ago
truly disgusting. I would not give a man the time of day after that.
"Women will experience intimate partner violence, abuse, and aggression in our lives—likely more than once. Romance novels that deal with dark, toxic, or damaging themes can allow us to understand boundaries and safely engage in power dynamics, communications, intimacy, and conflict resolution in ways we may not be able to in real life," she further suggests.
"Romance novels are critical because they are first and foremost entertainment, allowing us to enjoy a fully escapist fantasy (where, for example, love really can change a bad man) while at the same time giving us a safe place to explore issues that are far more challenging, nuanced, and potentially unsafe in our real lives."
#16
Your partner being a leader/ruler of a society.
The idea of an extremely competent, intelligent man is hot, but there’s no way the fae king who is the ~strongest warrior/most magic sorcerer/wisest man~ has enough time and energy left over for my needy a*s 😂.
Tabitha 10 months ago (edited)
All I ever wanted was a good, kind, gentle man who cared enough to work WITH me, so BOTH of us contribute to making a good life together. Never needed him to be handsome, or rich, or powerful, he just needed to be a good man. I got one too, and have been married to him for almost 24 years now. We own and run a growing business together, and the partnership is wonderful.
Floeckchen 10 months ago
Somehow every second male LI is a billionaire now (I guess millionaire doesn't cut it anymore)
Rich Black 10 months ago
This may be why scientists find it so hard to make authentic connections. Some people can't recognize and respect boundaries.
#17
Licking tears!
Skogsrået 10 months ago
Salty, like sweat i belive. I once saw a drunk guy licking a sweaty womans armpit in a nightclub, cannot unsee that. 🤢
Beak Hookage 10 months ago
Well that's a mental image I won't be getting rid of for a long, long time.
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AlithenewMC 10 months ago
I've read it in several books...I don't get it lol imagine standing there crying and your bf, instead of doing anything productive, just licks your face
Load More Replies... Nice Beast Ludo 10 months ago
Ew what books are you reading??? I've never come across this in my reading life and I've read probably 2500 plus
#18
The will they/ won’t they anxiety! Great in books, awful irl.
Maggie Fulton 10 months ago
Especially if they drag it out season after season.
Load More Replies... Analyn Lahr 10 months ago
I don't even like this books. Slow burns drive me crazy. But insta-love is just as annoying. I like somewhere in the middle.
Michelle shares a similar opinion on why people enjoy reading about behaviors that would be disturbing in real life. "For me, it’s the same reason I love watching horror movies. They’re exciting and fun. Fiction is a playground for the what if—a space to explore intense emotions, darker themes, and high-stakes drama without any real-world mess," she tells us.
"Toxic traits in books can be thrilling because we know they’re not real. No one is actually signing up for a relationship with a brooding, dangerously possessive shifter or a ruthless vampire. Instead, we get to experience the emotional intensity and drama from a safe distance, all while rooting for that cathartic moment of redemption or realization."
#19
Fated mates or whatever, it’d be pretty f****d up if you couldn’t leave someone no matter how badly they treat you.
Bacon Tentacles 10 months ago
I love the fact that Mercedes Lackey spent an entire trilogy building up the idea of a lifebond, and then spent several others explaining why it's a horrible thing for some people.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 10 months ago
She is an amazing author. She really helped shaped my childhood/teenage years. The Black Gryphon has always been one of my favorite books.
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Beak Hookage 10 months ago
Yeah, that's just straight-up enabling of abusive relationships by telling you that it's right and good that you can't leave even if your partner is hitting you and/or emotionally abusing you. The worst example I ever read had the man first rape the woman, who had her ability to consent taken away by some magical BS. Then he blackmails her into a relationship. Then he gets insanely jealous, thinking she's going to leave him for another man, which progresses to making violent threats and promising to "hunt you down" if she leaves him. THEN he ties her up and brutally tortures her while she's pregnant with his kid and THEN he mentally violates her in order to force his way into her most traumatic memories that don't involve him. And after all that, what happens? The whole thing is written off as a silly mistake, she instantly forgives him, they get married that very afternoon and then it's never mentioned again. And yes, I am being ENTIRELY SERIOUS about all of the above.
Nice Beast Ludo 10 months ago
What book is that?? I like books like that because it prepares you for the worst a man can possibly do to you and prepare yourself against it. Never on marrying and forgiving him though. That must have made you want to throw the book against the wall. After all that, we need slow burn revenge and an ending where he's begging for forgiveness and mercy and she destroys him.
Load More Replies... Jon Parker 10 months ago
I picked up what I thought would be a cheap, sexy vampire romance, thinking it would be some steamy, cheesy fun, but it very quickly leaned heavily into "she is destined to be his mate, she has no choice in the matter" with the vampire being the hero, and I had to nope out of there. I just wanted some kinky consensual vampire fun time, dang it!
#20
Brooding.
- In real life you need therapy.
Calling the FMC “Baby”
- Didn’t realize just how much I hate this until I had to listen to my BIL and his boyfriend call each other “Babyyyy” every other sentence for an entire weekend. “Babyyy can you pass the ketchup?” “Babyyy will you make me some coffee?” “Babyyy what time do you want to leave?” 🤮.
KazzaHazza 10 months ago
Me and my husband love each other very much but we’re not a soppy couple. We’ll wake up and say ‘Good morning, t w a t’ ‘Hello w a n k e r’ 😂
Louisa johnson 10 months ago
I hate baby too. Now babe I’m ok with but baby, no, that’s what I call my actual baby. So strange.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 10 months ago
"Baby" is reserved solely for my pets, and even then, it is accompanied by an adjective, such as "widdle" or "fat" or "elderly". As in, "Are you my widdle elderly baby?" XD
Load More Replies... Kise Miarse 10 months ago
Aw, my husband and I call each other baby. And about a zillion other silly pet names. Though, in our defense, we try not to do it in public.
#21
Mating bonds with mental talking and sensing emotions. I have enough of my own thoughts I don’t need yours up in there too GET OUT OF MY HEAD.
Becca not Becky 10 months ago
Hehe I like the idea of my man being able to read my mind though.
Beak Hookage 10 months ago
One of my most hated tropes by far. Mental bonds and such would DESTROY your mental health, plus it violates every boundary ever conceived.
and_a_touch_of_the_’tism 10 months ago
Also, the immediate mate bond on meeting (looking at you twilight) is soooo gross especially when it’s one-sided.
Major Harris 10 months ago
"my mind to your mind. my thoughts to your thoughts" vulcan mind meld!
While writing about engaging and complex characters with toxic flaws, Michelle believes that balance is key. "I love writing morally gray characters, but their flaws have to matter—actions have consequences, and redemption isn’t handed out like free candy. If a character is controlling, manipulative, or destructive, those traits aren’t excused just because they’re attractive or have a tragic past. Instead, I make sure their flaws serve the story and push character growth rather than being framed as desirable," she explains.
"For example, in Merely Mortal, Tamara encounters beings who operate by their own supernatural rules. Some of them have a warped sense of morality, but that doesn’t mean they get a free pass. She’s not afraid to call them out."
#22
“250” year old “man” (fae, etc) with a 20 year old maiden.
Sky Render 10 months ago
It's almost never the other way around either. Where's the impulsive and immature barely-adult men getting hooked up with the thousand-year-old sorceress, huh?
Jon Parker 10 months ago
When that happens, she's always a villain and usually turns out to be secretly hideous (except Arwen in LotR, as someone pointed out).
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LakotaWolf (she/her) 10 months ago
Just slogged through some of the "From Blood and Ash" series by Jennifer Armentrout, where the main couple is exactly this - a several-centuries-old "Atlantian" (the author's special magical can-walk-in-the-sun vampire race) who falls in love with a 19-year-old "maiden" who's never even been kissed. Got pretty cringe-y at times when the author would remind us how old the male main character was, how many decades he'd been alive, etc., but was absolutely obsessed with this "maiden" and wanted to boink her ever 3.5 seconds. Yeah, I still read the books :p
Anthorn 10 months ago
God, those books made me so uncomfy. I mostly just skipped over the spicy bits, and the rest was okay. I had the same vibes from the ACOTAR series.
Load More Replies... Billo66 10 months ago
Im on the fence here. It's fantasy but, if you never biologically age, does it matter?
Billo66 10 months ago
Thinking about it I suppose it does. I did find interview with a vampire quite cringey with the little vampire girl.
Load More Replies... Alex Schneider 10 months ago
And of course they are their soulmates, fate,saviours ..like no vampire ever became a couchpotato or bored of repeating old rituals. I really would like to see a movie where the maiden is annoyed of the Vampires snoring, f.. up of ironing all this ancient clothes while removing bloodstains
Boredest Panda 10 months ago
I saw it on Webtoon and I saw it had over 50 episodes and I got too scared to binge the whole thing. I know it’s hated a lot, is it good? Should I pick it up?
Load More Replies... Beak Hookage 10 months ago
Yeah, this one is really gross. Even if they're physically a teenager/young adult, they're not going to be that way mentally. And what on earth would someone that old see in some 16 year old kid other than "prey I can take advantage of" anyway? It's not as if they'd have anything in common.
ManuelQue 10 months ago
Elon's dad, Errol, has now had two children with his stepdaughter. I don't think she was quite of age for the first one... When I typed "Errol" it autocorrected to error..
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LakotaWolf (she/her) 10 months ago
Acronyms are made up of proper words. I know it's hard for you, but let's break it down: FMC = female main character. Look! All three of those are proper words! Amazing! Also, Shakespeare wrote an entire play about the fae. You may have heard of it - he called it "A Midsummer Night's Dream."
Load More Replies... #23
Just finished Nocticadia and DAMN was the professor-student relationship hot....but that would be so messed up IRL. I'm glad it's a standalone, because obsessive lust like that with a huge power dynamic is not healthy. It was hot as hell to read though lol.
#24
Having s*x while traveling or kissing first thing in the morning. I’m sorry, I can’t with the smells 😷.
Elle Bee 10 months ago
Lovers kissing 1st thing in the morning after awaking up,,,UGH! That morning breath.
Jeff Hunt 10 months ago
We called it zackly breath. Because it smells zackly like your butt.
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Smeghead Tribble Down Under 10 months ago
First thing I want to do when I wake up is PEE. Same as when some character presses breakfast in bed on another character. No. Before I can function I have to go to the toilet and brush my teeth. Just as well no one's ever offered me brekkie in bed I suppose :)
Lavern Defazio 10 months ago
And having sex in those tiny airplane toilets aren't all they are cracked up to be either.
Ansaksa 10 months ago (edited)
Where you get your bad breath from? Do you drink plenty of water? My bf-s breath didn't smell and I guess mine didn't either. But I have slept next to someone who brushed his teeth and his breath still stinked. So don't think it's going automaticclt save you. Bad breath is not normal, it's something you want to look up to what is causing it
Nul Nemo 10 months ago
I noticed that if I happen to eat after 18,00h or fall asleep less than two hours after I've eaten, I am more likely to wake up with a loaded mouth, as we say here. In any case, if I wake up during the night I'll still feel the need to rinse my mouth. And brushing my teeth will be the first thing in the morning.
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Anne Roberts 10 months ago
Or women in TV shows and movies who wake up with perfect hair, perfect makeup and fresh breathe.
Concluding this discussion, Jeanne says that romance novels is a truly critical genre. "Culturally and socially, we're the first writers to tackle real human issues: mental health, addiction, violence, trauma, and more, and to package these issues in themes and with messages that give people hope and release from the complexities of reality," she says.
"We can see the powerful impact that romance has on people reflected in movements within our society, such as conversations about consent and birth control. I'm really proud to be part of this genre (as a second-generation romance author, I grew up around romance writers and this industry and chose, after years of education and work, to focus on romance) and the impact it has on human conversations and connections."
#25
Men in love with no reason.
Seriously every romantasy the dude like instantly in love but doesn’t really know her. It isn’t cute in real life for a man to be obsessive (obsessive at all yes) but what’s up with this I’m so in love I’ll die for you immediately??? AKA LEUTHER IN SPARK OF EVERFLAME DRIVES ME NUTS.
Alex Schneider 10 months ago (edited)
Don't relay your selfesteem on a dude who fells in love without knowing you.It isn't a magical vibe.., he is in love with an option not with your personality
StrangeOne 10 months ago
Guy bumps into girl, hard, falling down and getting hurt, spilling his hot coffee all over his important documents, and then just ogles her. In real life, that guy is not going to be so nice to her. At all.
#26
Devil's threeway. Having two men rut around on me in real life sounds repulsive.
Beak Hookage 10 months ago
Did you mean ménage? Yeah, methinks that sort of thing is pretty niche.
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Alyce 10 months ago
Doubt it, nobody splits their time/attention equally and somebody ends up whiny...
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#27
Morally grey love interest.
Luke Branwen 10 months ago
Funny thing is that the same "hot morally gray love interest" would be regarded as "despicable deranged psychopath" if he looked like Danny DeVito.
Anthorn 10 months ago
don't you dare use the name of Danny DeVito in that way! That man is perfection in every hair!
Load More Replies... LakotaWolf (she/her) 10 months ago
He kills people! He steals! He does bad things! He is willing to raze an entire kingdom to save his friend/brother/father/etc.! But he is also loving, sensitive, courageous, etc. and will do anything for his love interest. Including killing babies and kittens. That's basically what it means - the love interest isn't outright good or evil, but does a lot of things that we'd categorize as either good OR evil. The male main character of the "From Blood And Ash" book series is a good example of a "morally gray love interest".
Load More Replies... #28
I admit, I am totaly into athletic man with broad shoulders in books. Well, in real life not really.
Lavern Defazio 10 months ago
It's okay. I become a wolf, or a fish or a scorpion in books, but in real life, I'm not
Melinda Landis 10 months ago
I get annoyed with the constant descriptions of how handsome and beautiful everyone is, abs, tight asses, perky boobs, giant phallic organ… I’m old, the first thing I’m checking out is…can they still get around? Brain working ok? Who cares about the dimple in the chin.
#29
Immediately ready to go again… 😆.
Beak Hookage 10 months ago
Don't guys have this thing where their ding-dong is really painful after a performance so they have to take five before they can even think about doing a curtain call? Please excuse my ignorance on the subject; I'm not exactly what you'd call a patron of the arts in that regard.
Robert T 10 months ago
Unless you're on viagra, it usually goes floppy shortly afterwards. It can take an hour or so to be good to go again, and it feels different the second time.
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#30
Multiple partners. Reverse Harem books are great but me being done multiple times in a night (often at the same time) or multiple times through out the day damn near daily? No thanks.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 10 months ago
I dated someone younger than me for a while, and he had a pretty high libido. Even with some "extra help" (aka lube) I got pretty chafed and sore after a while. I can't imagine it would feel any better for a participant who took on multiple partners a day/night XD I did not come equipped with a penis, but I imagine they get chafed after a while as well, even with external lubrication.
Load More Replies... Ellinor 10 months ago
I guess it depend. If everyone knows about everyone and everyone consent, then there's no harm. But other than that then it's cheating.
Graham Berry 10 months ago
S*x is like ice cream, great for a treat (even a regular treat) but quickly becomes sickening when you have it for the main course let alone for every meal.
Milord Cutter 10 months ago
I think that's more a question of stamina. When I was 18? Sure, but not any more.
Nice Beast Ludo 10 months ago
I get sensitive and swollen after too much sex with one person. Over and over and over all night is painful.
#31
The soliloquy’s, the “you are the air I breathe, there is no one I could want more in this lifetime or the next, my soul will forever find yours, you are my one true reason for being, I will always put you before all else” ESPECIALLY when the character has a lot of convictions up until this point… like FMC falls for him because of the selfless way he puts his friends/court/kingdom first but then once he falls for he his priorities shift exclusively to her?
Not only are the speeches clingy, intense, and cringy, but they’re symbolic of the character totally changing! They go from loyal stalwart figures of dedication and commitment to flighty little boys. I don’t get how the FMC is still attracted. I would be appalled.
I guess I didn’t really answer because I don’t think this is hot in books either but this kind of s**t is constantly highlighted so I feel like I’m the odd one out here.
Donna Drizin 10 months ago
I can't make that kind of commitment. I'm not even sure about the one I made in this life. Please don't ask me for more than one lifetime.
Billo66 10 months ago
THe old joke. "I would walk through hell for you. I'd do anything." ... "Cool, come over." ... "I can't, it's raining."
Melinda Landis 10 months ago
I get annoyed with the constant descriptions of how handsome and beautiful everyone is, abs, tight asses, perky boobs, giant phallic organ…
LakotaWolf (she/her) 10 months ago
If I see another set of nipples described as "turgid" or "rosy", I'm throwing my phone (and thus the Kindle app) across the room XD
Load More Replies... Beak Hookage 10 months ago
If he's serious that's creepy as all get-out. If not, it's just cringeworthy trying too hard weirdo material. Either way it's a bad look.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 10 months ago
I know I keep complaining about "From Blood And Ash", but I just read 5 BOOKS worth of that cringefest, so it's my most topical example XD In the book series, the male main character is several hundred years old (at least 200) and the female main character is 19 years old. He has had literally two centuries of life in which he apparently has never loved anyone as much as he loves her, etc. etc., - because, of course, she's his heartmate/fated mate. He makes several speeches of the above nature to her and it's just... it SOUNDS nice on paper, and the first time, I got butterflies in my stomach a little ("Aww!") but then I recalled that he's at least 180 years OLDER than she is, and even if he looks like he's 25, he's not. It started to feel REALLY weird when my brain kept popping up to remind me that he's two centuries old and waxing poetic over this 19-year-old XD
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#32
I just tried to read a book about a werewolf cop that pulls over a woman for speeding and smells her and realizes she’s his true mate. She’s on a road trip so when he asks her to go out with him she says no, she’s just passing through. He then arrests her for like a whole week until… I’m actually not sure what else happens because I DNF. But let me be clear: the reason I stopped it was because the book was very badly written, not the premise. I went on with eyes wide open and loving it.
Sometimes I catch myself loving things like that and I wonder what’s wrong with myself. Good thing my husband knows I love those books but I want none of that in real life.
Beak Hookage 10 months ago
Oh good, show her your love via kidnapping and false imprisonment. THAT won't lead to her becoming utterly terrified of you, or at the very least hating your guts. Like whatever happened to just *asking her out*? I know, how bourgeoisie.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 10 months ago
He did! She said no because she was on a road trip and just passing through. So of course, he HAD to kidnap her! /s
Load More Replies... Luke Branwen 10 months ago
Oh no. An evil, aggressive, bloodthirsty monster... who is also a werewolf?
#33
When the main male kisses her scars and says “promise me no more” like bruh it is sooo cringe in real life. Especially with a hookup.
Alex Schneider 10 months ago
What does she have to promise: Never burn her fingers on hot food,because she is hungry? Never use a razor again for her legs? Nevermore outdoorsex cause she got bruised?
#34
The one horse situation!!
Lavern Defazio 10 months ago
Yes. This is annoying because that poor horse has to haul two asses now.
Dolevaal 10 months ago
Can someone explain this one pls? I dont understand the metaphor of this.
Daniel Atkins 10 months ago
I think they are talking about two people having to ride the same horse. So the have to ride really close together.
Load More Replies... #35
Animalistic growls….
Alex Schneider 10 months ago
this !!!!! this would be exactely the sound my soulmate would make ( while leaving scars on my neck)cause he didn't like the new food
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Beak Hookage 10 months ago (edited)
How about rumbly purrs because he's secretly a cat shapeshifter? …great, now I've got this image of a romantic comedy where the girl finds out her cat (who always vanishes when her boyfriend is around) and her boyfriend (who claims to hate cats) were the same person all along. The big reveal happens, of course, when she discovers the boyfriend's weird obsession with pushing things off tables while looking her square in the eye.
Nice Beast Ludo 10 months ago
I don't know .. in the Beauty and the beast live action remake, it was pretty hot when the beast turned human again then Belle says "maybe you should grow a beard" and he growls at her.
Anthorn 10 months ago
if my girlfriend quacked I would combust (in a good way)
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#36
It's really weird to me how the men are always so h***y. That can't be what is actually going on in real men's heads, right? The most innocuous things will get them all hot and bothered. I've only dated one guy, so I don't have much to compare to.
CA Hyde 10 months ago
Yes, most guys think about sex a lot, many times a day - and picture random women or men they see everyday naked. That has been my experience....they just love sex.
#37
Men in “leathers” lol.
Shane G 10 months ago
Those arent the only kind of leather. In fantasy I'd imagine more of a rough rawhide kind of deal than the shiny squeaky stuff.
Load More Replies... Mary Kelly 10 months ago
the sweat and stink...but lenny kravits and im morrison seemed to pull it off
Ourania Walker 3 weeks ago
Ever since I saw that episode of Friends where Ross wears those leather pants then makes a mess trying to get back into them or whatever, I can't take reading about guys wearing leather pants seriously, not even if it's a historical perspective....all I see is Ross in a baby powder lotion mess....lol
Nice Beast Ludo 10 months ago
I really wanted a photo to laugh at. Guess they couldn't find one because it never happens hahaha
Nona Jaynes 10 months ago
Only one book series I've ever read has hot sexy men in leather......then again they're vampires.
Beak Hookage 10 months ago
If motorbike leathers are anything to go on, you ain't gonna be anywhere near flexible enough for any of that bedroom gymnastics stuff. But you *are* gonna be sweating like a pig.
#38
Sleeping together before they talked about their feelings / how they stand / before admitting they like each other.
Auntriarch 10 months ago
Sex is sex. Feelings are feelings. Love is love. Gin is gin. Do not get them mixed up.
Alex Schneider 10 months ago
I always tell my neighbours I was abducted by aliens, fought the whole night against a killerrabbit or I just returned from a secret mission, so they have to pretend not to see me coming home for their very own security
Load More Replies... Beak Hookage 10 months ago
Well, I don't see why you can't have a little no-strings-attached fun and end up developing feelings later on. It probably happens a fair bit in real life.
#39
Breeding kink. Sounds hot sometimes in written but the thought of having irl child makes me so uneasy.
Auntriarch 10 months ago
Absolutely not. Kinks are fine. Breeding involves another, non consenting, person. No.
#40
Any lifting during sexy times, no thanks.
Tim Crowhurst 10 months ago
Especially if his fingers are slippery for some reason.
Load More Replies... LakotaWolf (she/her) 10 months ago
I assume they mean that one partner "lifts up" the other partner during sex, and holds them up or presses them against a wall or something while they have sex. It sounds awesome and amazing, but I imagine the lifting person would have to be VERY strong, or else their arms are going to get tired within a few minutes.
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Melinda Landis 10 months ago
No one is going to pick me up and carry me around the apartment unless he’s like 6’10” and really, really strong.
What do you think ?
LakotaWolf (she/her) 10 months ago
I've been pretty lonely and isolated IRL for a long time (finally escaped a bad, 23-year-long relationship last October) so I've been on a pretty hardcore "romantic fantasy"-genre reading kick lately. I've read some pretty good ones and some REALLY bad ones. Some are hilarious and fun and light, some are really poorly-written. There was one trilogy where the author used the word "huffed" instead of "laughed" 20-30 times per book. Another series is set in a fantasy world (with magic and swords) but the author has the characters say modern phrases like "my two cents" or "whatever!" It really breaks immersion XD
ElfVibratorGlitter 10 months ago
I... guess I like weird stuff most people don't like? 🤷🏻♂️ Except sex on the beach. That's honestly the worst...
WonderWoman 10 months ago
Authors trying to prove the character is "strong" because they won't take anything stronger than baby aspirin. The character has been shot and stabbed, but please, let's show how tough they are by refusing pain meds - it doesn't have to knock you out, but be serious, just ask any woman what her man is like when he gets a freaking cold!🙄🤣
MinnaBirde 10 months ago
"Culturally and socially, we're the first writers to tackle real human issues: mental health, addiction, violence, trauma, and more, and to package these issues in themes and with messages that give people hope and release from the complexities of reality,” Seriously? LOL… What a naive and arrogant thing to state. Have you even read any books written before 2010? Dear God. There are an endless number of novels that have accomplished this OVER CENTURIES of storytelling. How does someone who claims to be a writer not know this? Mind-boggling.
Nice Beast Ludo 10 months ago (edited)
That is an extremely ignorant statement (that you quoted not that you are making) and one could argue that books have gone the other way after 2010. . You have to scour the shelves for good ones and most are really shallow
Load More Replies... Say No to Downvoting 10 months ago
“Make-up sex” - is that ever an actual thing? My husband and I used to look forward to it before we were married…but in reality: ew. We’ve had our argument, talked things through and resolved our issues, but now we need space to let any residual cranks die down and to reflect. I DO NOT want to have sex with you, right now, at all!
Some guy 10 months ago
Nah, as long as the issue itself is truly resolved, make-up sex is a welcome thing.
Load More Replies... Say No to Downvoting 10 months ago
Pretty much everything Mr Rochester ever says or does. And Mr Darcy is not far behind.
Auntriarch 10 months ago (edited)
Good point. But women had lower expectations then, so Mr Rochester was a pretty good catch. The really interesting thing is though, that Mr Darcy was a better man than Mr Rochester, although he was two generations earlier. Losing ground is not a new thing. Look after yourselves, fellow Pandas
Load More Replies... Dolevaal 10 months ago
Some (mostly AI written) "books" will have the "Alpha Male falls for extremly poor, abused, low-ranged member of wolfpack" -trope. Often the girl has been hit on a regular basis, bad language used with her is normal aswell, poverty too bc wolfpack doesnt care etc. Mostly the "abused" part only exists to create sympathie or create a new form of Cinderella Story. Dude. This stuff is serious f****d up, its traumatic. Dont play around bc you want to satisfy your erotic phantasies or to gain cheap sympathie points for your character. Bleurgh.
Oskar vanZandt 10 months ago
I enjoy listening to crime fiction audiobooks...REALLY do not appreciate the "artificial" and graphic s3x scenes some writers feel are a necessary part of the narrative...
and_a_touch_of_the_’tism 10 months ago
I’m meh on romantasy, especially since they all have basically the exact same plot, but I do like the depth of worldbuilding that goes into most of them.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 10 months ago
I've been pretty lonely and isolated IRL for a long time (finally escaped a bad, 23-year-long relationship last October) so I've been on a pretty hardcore "romantic fantasy"-genre reading kick lately. I've read some pretty good ones and some REALLY bad ones. Some are hilarious and fun and light, some are really poorly-written. There was one trilogy where the author used the word "huffed" instead of "laughed" 20-30 times per book. Another series is set in a fantasy world (with magic and swords) but the author has the characters say modern phrases like "my two cents" or "whatever!" It really breaks immersion XD
ElfVibratorGlitter 10 months ago
I... guess I like weird stuff most people don't like? 🤷🏻♂️ Except sex on the beach. That's honestly the worst...
WonderWoman 10 months ago
Authors trying to prove the character is "strong" because they won't take anything stronger than baby aspirin. The character has been shot and stabbed, but please, let's show how tough they are by refusing pain meds - it doesn't have to knock you out, but be serious, just ask any woman what her man is like when he gets a freaking cold!🙄🤣
MinnaBirde 10 months ago
"Culturally and socially, we're the first writers to tackle real human issues: mental health, addiction, violence, trauma, and more, and to package these issues in themes and with messages that give people hope and release from the complexities of reality,” Seriously? LOL… What a naive and arrogant thing to state. Have you even read any books written before 2010? Dear God. There are an endless number of novels that have accomplished this OVER CENTURIES of storytelling. How does someone who claims to be a writer not know this? Mind-boggling.
Nice Beast Ludo 10 months ago (edited)
That is an extremely ignorant statement (that you quoted not that you are making) and one could argue that books have gone the other way after 2010. . You have to scour the shelves for good ones and most are really shallow
Load More Replies... Say No to Downvoting 10 months ago
“Make-up sex” - is that ever an actual thing? My husband and I used to look forward to it before we were married…but in reality: ew. We’ve had our argument, talked things through and resolved our issues, but now we need space to let any residual cranks die down and to reflect. I DO NOT want to have sex with you, right now, at all!
Some guy 10 months ago
Nah, as long as the issue itself is truly resolved, make-up sex is a welcome thing.
Load More Replies... Say No to Downvoting 10 months ago
Pretty much everything Mr Rochester ever says or does. And Mr Darcy is not far behind.
Auntriarch 10 months ago (edited)
Good point. But women had lower expectations then, so Mr Rochester was a pretty good catch. The really interesting thing is though, that Mr Darcy was a better man than Mr Rochester, although he was two generations earlier. Losing ground is not a new thing. Look after yourselves, fellow Pandas
Load More Replies... Dolevaal 10 months ago
Some (mostly AI written) "books" will have the "Alpha Male falls for extremly poor, abused, low-ranged member of wolfpack" -trope. Often the girl has been hit on a regular basis, bad language used with her is normal aswell, poverty too bc wolfpack doesnt care etc. Mostly the "abused" part only exists to create sympathie or create a new form of Cinderella Story. Dude. This stuff is serious f****d up, its traumatic. Dont play around bc you want to satisfy your erotic phantasies or to gain cheap sympathie points for your character. Bleurgh.
Oskar vanZandt 10 months ago
I enjoy listening to crime fiction audiobooks...REALLY do not appreciate the "artificial" and graphic s3x scenes some writers feel are a necessary part of the narrative...
and_a_touch_of_the_’tism 10 months ago
I’m meh on romantasy, especially since they all have basically the exact same plot, but I do like the depth of worldbuilding that goes into most of them.
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