50 Hilarious Tweets By Women That Had People Cracking Up

You feel that at 45?! I've felt that since 15! (21 now)

Or another pair of Vans, that's fine too.

Doc Martins from i was 14 and I'm in my 40s now. I've probably got spread out monkey feet but nothing hurts 😁

"Last 10 years" No way those exist. Maybe I'm just hard on footwear but I can't make anything last more than a year or two.

And won't kill the sore spots on my feet that I've developed from wearing cheap cute shoes in my twenties.

Omg yes! I was 20 when I had my daughter, no education no particular job skills. When she was 3 we were still living with my parents, but I was trying to find decent work. I'd gotten a job the beginning of December and had just caught up on daycare charges when I was let go. My mom had gotten me this really nice winter coat as an early Christmas present. So I returned the coat and bought my daughter 3 toys for Christmas and froze that winter. One of the toys was a stuffed dog that she still has 30 years later😢

I let the ferrets pick toys and gifts for people. Hobbs the 3-legged house goat picks the best dog toys and snacks

Awwww...

Can somebody translate this?

My wife's family have a tradition of buying a stuffed animal for anyone wo is in hospital. While in the local hospital just after cancer diagnosis, my stepson chose a Stitch for me. I never get to hold it for two minutes - the dog claimed it when I got home. Shes snoring with her head on it's lap at the moment. Of course my wife being French, I was subtle, and bought her a stuffed frog.

I went to my dentist recently and asked him to file the sharp edge of a tooth (a prior dentist had done this before, as I grind my teeth in my sleep, which kind of "sharpens" one tooth ), because I kept accidentally biting holes in my lip. Oh, no. He couldn't just "file it down"... apparently the tooth "moved" and sticks out a tiny bit because I finally managed to bend my permanent lingual bar (which has maintained the alignment on my lower front teeth since 8th grade - I'm now 38)... so now he wants to remove the bar and replace it with a nightly invisalign retainer. FML. Most certainly I will not want to wear it if it's not clean... brushing it will - of course - be extra work every night... and then I think, "f**k! Half the time I'm too lazy to even take my a*s to bed and end up falling asleep on the sofa..." Yup. My teeth are about to be totally screwed, all because I wanted to stop biting my lip 🤣

THIS

😅

Same man.

Hahaha

I love going out for a walk in a forest when it’s raining because everything smells so amazing, but go out in a city or anywhere where there are people and streets and traffic.. no, thanks, then it’s the couch or the bed that rules.

A 'chocolates for breakfast' kind of day, then?

I love it when it is absolutely raining and I have an excuse to sit down and read a book and not do the 500 other things I have to do outside

Doing all these things... and hoping for rain.

Like during the covid shutdown period when we felt sickeningly gleeful that all of that was mandated!

I had a boyfriend one time grab the last bite of a burger out of my hand and eat it. I didn't feel right the rest of the day

Being so convinced there was one more bite of cookie that you actually have to get up and look for it.

I hate when a novel ends before the back of the book (or e-book). So there you are, settled for another 15 minutes read and BANG you're finished.

Makes total sense to me. There should be an alarm.

I always over react to that situation.

Bumblebees are friends if you're gentle! They don't want to sting because it hurts them too. You can deffo pick them up and pet them, they are very fluffy and sweet. Go forth, pet a bumblebee, pick her up and put her on the most polleny flower you can find, make her day.