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50 Funny Times Brits Was Caught Just Being Brits, As Shared In This Group (New Pics)
Interview
From the London skyline to skipping the “t’s” in a bunch of words (think “bottle of water” in an English accent,) the UK has cemented itself in our collective psyche, one way or another. But actually living in Britain isn’t just Harry Potter-esque castles and endless crumpets with tea, as we can now learn through the magic of the internet.
The “Casual UK” group is a place for Brits to share those little moments that can only be found in the UK. English streets, mug comparisons, and complaints about eccentric neighbors all make an appearance. We also reached out to British comedy writer and stand-up comedian Davina Bentley to learn more. So get comfortable, maybe get a cup of tea and be sure to upvote your favorite posts.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Received From My Landlady This Morning, They Aren’t All Bad
LokisLilButterknife 2 years ago (edited)
That's incredibly sweet. Inflation and increases in rent have been hurting so many people around the world. I truly miss the gorgeous flat my friends and I lived in in Scotland over a decade ago-- that flat's rent would probably go for an arm and a leg now. I live and work in the U.S. now and rent prices here give me anxiety.
AspieGirl88 2 years ago
Considering the cost of electricity, heating & everything that goes on a shopping list has been on the rise in 2023 alone; to have such a considerate landlord/landlady is an absolute blessing! If only there were more people like her. 🥹💖🙌
Fluffybedsocks 2 years ago
My landlord at the time did the same thing. Brilliant people, absolute angels
Valek Fermiga 2 years ago
Such a lovely story, with all the s*** we see and read on a daily basis, it's amazing to see something like that : ) : )
RELATED:
#2
It Explains So Much
Auntriarch 2 years ago (edited)
Someone hasn't been outside Wetherspoons late Saturday night in Cardiff (just to clarify, it wasn't me)
Scented Candle 2 years ago (edited)
Adding the last part only makes me more suspicious
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#3
Bench Memorial At Stanmer Park, Brighton
El Howard 2 years ago
Kind of like the wordless opening sequence in the movie Up...
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Bored Panda got in touch with UK comedy writer and stand-up comedian Davina Bentley to ask some questions about humor and comedy in Britain compared to the rest of the English-speaking world. After all, despite similarities in language, everything from media to stand-up has its own nuances from place to place.
“English humor is bleaker. It’s less earnest than say American humor and it’s weirder. Because British people are particularly idiosyncratic and English humor reflects that. We like things a bit gritty and unpolished.”
#4
Beware, Horses May Bite
Herringbone 2 years ago
The horse once sat behind her on an aeroplane when she draped her hair over the back of the seat.
#5
Not Much Sympathy From The Boss
Michael P (Perthaussieguy) 2 years ago
I was working in retail in Sydney when 9/11 happened. The next day the shopping center was so very quiet, hardly any people out. Even here in Australia, people were glued to the TV with the aftermath
zak 2 years ago
One was a terrorist attack that killed 3,000 people, and the other was one person dying of old age. Vastly different scenarios 🤷🏼♂️
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pfeils wife 2 years ago
it doesn't. The question was sent at 8:06 pm and the reply was at 10:04 pm.
Load More Replies... #6
My Mate's New Pet - Lamborghini
David A Paterson 2 years ago
Mary had a little Lamborghini. It rather changes the perception of Mary somewhat.
Chewie Baron 2 years ago
Mary had a little lamb, she tied it to a pylon. 10,000 volts went up its bum, and turned its wool to nylon.
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Bored Retsuko 2 years ago
Now I want to see someone name one of their pet rats... MaseRATi. Maseratty?
Binky Melnik 2 years ago (edited)
This photo is making me HUNGRY! I looove lamb. (Commence the downvotes! I grew up on a farm, so I see things as food.)
We also wanted to hear what she thought were some of the most visible differences between how Brits approach “funny” characters, in comparison to, say, Americans. “The characters. English culture doesn’t always celebrate “winners” or jocks, it sometimes celebrates “losers” and I think that could be a struggle. To make sense to a US audience, Tim from the office had to be “glowed up” from Martin Freeman to John Krasinski.”
#7
I Can't Be The Only One
Margaret H 2 years ago
Especially ginger nuts, which are rubbish if they've gone soggy.
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Julie Zugz 2 years ago
This is now i "close" the bread bag; twist the bag, tuck it under and push it up against the wall
AspieGirl88 2 years ago
I use bobbles (aka: hair-ties) for that; whether it’s a packet of crisps, biscuits, chocolate or other types of packaged foods. I’ve also used self-adhesive address labels on occasion, as it’s as good as sellotape. Whatever works, right? 🤷♀️🙂
#8
Went To The Tropical Butterfly House Yesterday And This Fella Was Mocking Me
LokisLilButterknife 2 years ago
I always knew those flamingos were judgmental and mocking buggers. Hah hah, I love the man's expression.
AspieGirl88 2 years ago
If I had to answer this one? A lot longer than I can stand on 2 legs, that’s for sure! LOL. [Lower leg amputee here, just to clarify!] 😂🦩🦿
Debs Bee 2 years ago (edited)
Me too! Reminds me of the old 'Where does the one-legged waitress work? IHOP
weatherwitch 2 years ago
It's like when I went to the hospital and the receptionist said "Take a seat“ and I said “I'm fine thanks, I've got my own" gesturing to my powerchair 😂😂😂 She was not impressed but I found it hilarious 😂😂😂
Audrey Martin 1 year ago
Not just flamingoes though, lots of birds stand on one leg. I'm willing to bet that the chap in the wheelchair wasn't as angry as he looked.
#9
All Is Well In The World
Amy Smith 2 years ago
Ah yes the Old Kent Road Hellraiser stop... to be fair, don't remember that tape not being there
Chewie Baron 2 years ago
Is that where it is? I may go and see! I’m not far from there.
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Holy Shimmering Sheeps541t 2 years ago
I'm assuming this is down Walworth Road beside East Street market. I miss Liam Ogg's a fantastic melting pot of a pub.
rullyman 2 years ago
I love East Street Market. Used to live a couple of streets down and would get all my fruit and veg there.
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Erica Cochrane 2 years ago
reminds me of the statue behind GOMA in glasgow, which always has a traffic cone on it's head. the council kept removing it, but it always got replaced. so now it's just left there. sometimes he gets a seasonal cone.
Audrey Martin 1 year ago
Why always the same VHS? Also, come on guys, clean the whole roof while you're up there!🤣
Finally, we wanted to know what Davina's quintessential UK experience was. “Dancing to Girls Aloud at a wedding, Smirnoff Ice from the corner shop, and crying in Topshop,” she told us, so perhaps add it to your to-do list when you are planning your next trip to Britain. You can find Davina’s comedy videos and sketches on Instagram here and on TikTok here.
#10
This Comment On Someone’s Breakfast
Holy Shimmering Sheeps541t 2 years ago (edited)
Is that bread? Toast not bread! And you've got bean juice in your egg yolk, this is all kinds of wrong and you sir are a monster! A Monster! Good day to you sir! GOOD Day!
Andy Cran 2 years ago
amateur hour that brekkie......I would return that and get the cook sacked 😆
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Debs Bee 2 years ago
This American just can't wrap her head around baked beans for breakfast. Here, they usually reserved for BBQs and hit dog dinners
Andy Cran 2 years ago
you've not lived until you've had a full English brekkie.....the one pictured is a poor representation (I'm saddened 😟)
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#11
Brits Queuing Without Barriers At An Ed Sheeran Gig
Somebodys grandmother 2 years ago
No... the brits would take gold, silver, bronze every f***ing time... I've seen queues with 1 person in! 1! In London....
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Kiwii Stone 2 years ago
Also, even if there's no queue, you don't step forward until the cashier calls you
pfeils wife 2 years ago
right! a bit embarrassing.. I can say that, I'm one of them.
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LokisLilButterknife 2 years ago
Ever since I moved from Scotland to the U.S. for work, I realised that the concept of queuing and standing in line is lost of most Americans.
Melody Shanahan-Kluth 2 years ago
it makes me proud to be British, in fact it brings a tear to my eye :)
Kiwii Stone 2 years ago
So true! Did this at a festival last weekend because we had to turn a queue so it didn't overlap with another one, lol
#12
You Must Pay For Your Crimes
Donkey boi 2 years ago
Tea is like a samurai sword; Just like 'Once drawn, it cannot be sheathed until it draws blood', 'Once brewed, it must be drunk'.
French panda says ur worth it 2 years ago
The skofung sorwd from Norse mythology
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𝕊𝕙𝕪 𝔻𝕣𝕒𝕘𝕠𝕟 (𝕤𝕙𝕖/𝕙𝕖𝕣) 2 years ago
I’ve done that. I think. I’m British ;)
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Ellie Hope 2 years ago
Totally agree, people that put tea in the microwave should lose their British citizenship.
AspieGirl88 2 years ago
My mum (70 this year) is often getting distracted or forgetful, to the point where her tea/coffee gets cold. She usually just puts it in the microwave for half a minute & it works like a charm. At least that way, she’s not wasting a perfectly good cuppa! 😄
Anyone-for-tea? 2 years ago
*throws a packet or Oreos at you* as they’re no good for dunking in tea anyway.
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Šimon Špaček 2 years ago
Yeah, I have to agree. We all have to deal with consequences, somebody gets cold tea, somebody gets warm beer, but the important thing is, we may learn from our fails and do better next time. Without punishment, can you learn?
Anyone-for-tea? 2 years ago
Nothing worse than misjudging your brew, and feeling nearly cold tea graze your lips.
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LauraDragonWench 2 years ago
Sorry, but I've gotta do it: "you're." As in "you are." Sorry, but it's a compulsion. 😁
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Shannon Mallory 2 years ago
My daughter is about to leave the States for university in.the UK and I've already told her that her tea habits will make her a pariah I'm England. She steeps tea until it's barely warm and has the acidity of a battery. She likes her tea "chewy." Imtold her to be prepared to suffer approbation for her taste.
Jon Lee 2 years ago
Various brands do a strong version for those that like stewed tea.
Load More Replies... #13
"King Charles' Coronation Service Will Be Four Hours Longer Than His Mother, Due To His Limited Mobility."
Kira Okah 2 years ago
Don't read this while drinking something. Sorry, I know it's a silly joke, but laughing cola out of your nostrils hurts.
Bored Retsuko 2 years ago
Lol, this should be a standard warning in BP post titles :-)
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Remi Flynne 2 years ago
I do. Can do what I like with the pieces if it's mine! Pop them in the bin even!
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Maggie Mae 2 years ago
Don't Like him Much Since he was the Second ROYAL to Bring SHAME UPON the Royal Queen & his Family!! His Father was FIRST but the Queen Forgave Him!! His wife is now queen /Queer Consort a Travesty in the Castles! JMO!!!
Binky Melnik 2 years ago
His service was longer than his mother? So, six feet? I’m totally confused. Can a Brit explain this for us, please? Do you often confuse lengths of time with, uh, lengths?
#14
An Egyptian Woman Is Unimpressed By Stonehenge
Mimi La Souris 2 years ago
they are not considered to be of the same period and not the same climatic conditions of conservation.
Ross “Sarcastic Dad” 2 years ago
Solid burn, Mimi. I bet Tom wishes you were there when his wife said that.
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David 2 years ago (edited)
Not that small and weak. Out of curiosity I googled a comparison ---- "For calculations most Egyptologists use 2.5 tons as the weight of an average pyramid stone block." Meanwhile - Stonehenge - "35 tonnes – the weight of the largest sarsen stones (the uprights of the Great Trilithon). 20 tonnes – the average weight of the sarsen circle uprights"
Sere07 2 years ago
Isn't anybody else shocked by the fact that this lady never heard about Stonehenge? O.O Being a foreigner isn't an excuse, I am Italian and learned about it in elementary school.
microwaved mcdonalds fries 2 years ago
yeah i learned about it watching the movie brave when i was in kindergarten
Load More Replies... mystico627 2 years ago
His "Egyptian" wife is probably not descended from the kemetans who built the pyramids and other architecture there.
dino_Z71 2 years ago (edited)
This is an inference on my part. One could say that the OP's wife was claiming racial or ethnic superiority due to her alleged relation to the builders of the pyramids. Which to a lot of people is in question of did the Egyptians actually build them. Much like Machu Pichu or Puma Punku which were built by people long before the people that mainstream archeologists give credit to. Just saying.
Load More Replies... #15
Preparing The Golden Balls Of Disappointment For Halloween
Cathy Roberts 2 years ago
Nah if she dipped them in chocolate first *that* would be cruel and evil!
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martymcmatrix 2 years ago
Brussels sprouts are by far the most horrible thing ever grown, sown or harvested on this planet.
martymcmatrix 2 years ago
These belong solely on the compost heap in the Garden of Earthly Delights.
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Bit Harsh From The Bbc
J 2 years ago
I’ve noticed that Brits aren’t horrified by the notion of aging quite like Americans.
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Chewie Baron 2 years ago (edited)
They must have been confused when they same him all in gold.
Donna Peluda 2 years ago
His a diva, an and wank**** but pure talent. I've seen him twice, both times he did over 3 hours, when the band went for a break he just did a few songs solo. As the band came back they just joined in and carried on. At one point he stopped to talk. Legend!!!!
#17
A Guy Asked His Mate To Take His Bin Out As He Wouldn’t Be Home. He Went Above And Beyond
#18
Do Not Disturb The Garden Centre Sleepy Cat
GV Martinez-Williams 2 years ago
Worked at a Home Depot in Florida that had one til be passed. A tabby btw.
#19
Flying To Dublin Tomorrow So I Made My Own Carry-On Bag
LokisLilButterknife 2 years ago
I believe that Spirit Airlines is the U.S. equivalent of Ryanair, aka the late-night bus with wings!
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Audrey Martin 1 year ago
The handles will easily tuck into top of bag when necessary.
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Fiona Parky 2 years ago
Anyone remember those locks on the loo doors that you literally had to “spend a penny” to open? Ryanscare considering these except they’ll only take a 50 pound note. Can’t afford it, plait your legs for the entire flight.
Ristina Nielsen 2 years ago
Should be RyanAir using this as commercial ;) If you dou't want to pay for your flight, maybe you should consider the "nothing extra. At all." as a part of the deal. Or (more controversially), consider not flying.
Cloudberry 2 years ago
In this hyper capitalistic world you get what you pay for ;) But being able to take a flight even though you can't really afford it is a luxury in itself.
#20
So There’s A Fox In My Upstairs Bedroom. Not Entirely Sure How It Got In
Scented Candle 2 years ago
Not awww. Diseases, and even if not, there is a stressed out wild animal in your house. Trust me it’s terrifying
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David 2 years ago
A current local thing this summer is a local fox everyone calls Fern. It is wild but apparently not too afraid of people. Folks keep posting photos on FB of where they spotted Fern today. Their back yard, on the street etc. It's kind of cute and wholesome. It's not unheard of to spot a fox around here but it is usually more of a semi-rare thing.
#21
Old Skool UK Graffiti
AspieGirl88 2 years ago (edited)
“If it were a lady, it would get its bottom pinched” … yeah, then she’d fart exhaust fumes right in the offending person’s face! 😂🚗💨😷
Marilyn Russell 2 years ago
What ad exec idiot thought that was funny? Speaking as someone who did get their butt pinched by a creepy older man in an office back in the early 90’s.
#22
On A Conference Call…my 14yr Old Daughter Presented Me With This Note To Avoid Disturbing Me
Crybabyartist 2 years ago
You can't imagine how incensed, confused and annoyed I am, since I found out that kids these days in schools where i live aren't even being taught cursive writing anymore. That is more than lame. Why not just forego school altogether and just let them be guided through life with a search and an AI. Grrrr!
Load More Replies... Anne Jones 2 years ago
Yes, yes they will. But after September they won’t accept postage stamps with her head on them.
Becky Samuel 2 years ago
That's nothing to do with the change of monarch though. The Post Office is changing the rules so that no stamps can be used unless they have a barcode.
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Janet Howe 2 years ago
It's really refreshing to see a kid writing a note and not yelling this while you're on a conference call.
Abby Rexroth 2 years ago
When most of the country has only known one monarch it makes sense that someone really young would think that.
Justme 2 years ago
Not quite every bill. Alexander Hamilton ($10 bill) & Benjamin Franklin ($100 bill) were never President.
Load More Replies... Audrey Martin 1 year ago
Very polite child. Pretty good spelling, capital letters used correctly, appropriate use of apostrophes and a question mark at the end. This parent should be very proud and happy. A lot of adults don't come anywhere near this competency
Cain Hargreaves 2 years ago
It's cute until you see the kid has a "felon's claw" in her writing!!! (Dun dun dunnnn)
Jaya 2 years ago
Today I Learned this is called a felon's claw. It looks pretty, I really like it.
Load More Replies... #23
Saw This For The First Time In The Mens. I Always Thought It Was A Myth. (Coventry, Battle Bar)
Spencer's slave 2 years ago
It is good to know it's in the men's loo too. Not all victims of sexual assault are female.
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Upstaged75 2 years ago
In the US you can ask for an Angel Shot at the bar and it means the same thing.
Janner Wingfeather 2 years ago
Is it a different name than the sign in the ladies’ room? If it’s the same, it runs the risk of having both people know the code, defeating the purpose of the secrecy thing.
JB 2 years ago (edited)
This doesn’t matter. You aren’t going to your sketchy date and telling them “I’m going to ask for Angela/Bob” you go to the bar and quietly talk to a member of staff. Even if your sketchy date overhears you and knows the code, they can’t do anything or the police will be called. It’s simply a discreet mechanism for avoiding an unpleasant or concerning situation.
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Tiny Dancer 2 years ago
I don't get out much, but the few places I've been to lately have different posters in the women's rooms (Canada), VERY detailed ones about ordering a certain drink if you need the police or another kind if you just need to get away from your date for whatever reason.
Verena 2 years ago
But if these posters are everywhere, everybody knows about this, including the people one tries to sneak away from. The idea is brilliant, but I have doubts by putting it into practise
Regina George 2 years ago
You go to the bar alone to order a drink, the staff will then know you need assistance and will take action
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Chris D'Asta 2 years ago
Removing threats one d******d at a time. Good on you, Battle Bar! When the f**k will my sisters be allowed to feel safe?
#24
Today I Visited A Model Village That Had A Model Of The Model Village That Itself Also Had A Model Of The Model Of The Model Village
WindySwede 2 years ago
Nothing to be all Hot Fuzz:y about? /s (if it wasn't this village that was in that movie, then never mind 😅)
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Erika Franko 2 years ago
Yes, it is Bourton on the Water in the Cotswolds. 🙂 I always take friends/family visiting from overseas there, everyone loves it. The village is nice with great cafés & quirky shops. The entry fee to the model village is £4.50.
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Andi 2 years ago
its got a lovely car museum there ; and for those who remember, they have Brum there too!
Capybara With a Cat 2 years ago
Maybe the ''real'' village is also just a model of a bigger village?
#25
Saw This And Instantly Thought Of Casual UK!
CanadianDimes 2 years ago
A friend of a friend commented that he'll always think of Charles as 'King Prince Charles' and I completely agree.
Robert T 2 years ago
Whenever anyone says King Charles, by brain tries to add Spaniel.
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Chewie Baron 2 years ago
This is a great cinema. Very cheap and they regularly host viewings of sing-a-long versions of ‘The Sound of Music’ and ‘The Rocky Horror Picture Show’ where pretty much everyone will dress up. One time, myself and a friend went to TSOM, and we were wearing green hats, and long green ponchos. We were also covered in cut out black musical notes. A group of nuns went passed and were looking at us puzzled, when one came over and asked what out costume was (this was outside the cinema). We simultaneously said “Oh, we’re the hills, and we’re alive with music!” She walked back with her shoulders heaving with laughter, to,d her friends and they all roared. Great day!
Danielle 2 years ago
I went to an Arnie all nighter, five films plus fun things like the adverts he did in Japan in between. It finished at 6am. Was the only time.in my life when there was no queue for the ladies but the gents was out the door.
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Krysta Pandoo 2 years ago
I like that the comma is in the right place. Would've had my love if there was a full stop too.
Rhonda West 2 years ago
We had to change the name of a local middle school because it had "Prince" in the name. But that's because it was followed by "Andrew"
#26
Happy Birthday To That One Kid From Hot Fuzz
Apachebathmat 2 years ago
I saw this at the cinema with an Australian friend, she didn’t get any of the film or why I was laughing
Betsy Ray 2 years ago
American here. Whole family loved it. I say yarp a bit too often now.
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Black Rabbit 2 years ago
Since the twàt wants to be a twàt, your birthday only happens once. You commemorate your birth on subsequent years on the same date.
Claire Bailey 2 years ago
There's a guy who comes in to my work. Every time I see him I think he is Simon Pegg's doppelganger.
#27
Casually Saw A Walrus At Scarborough Harbour Last Night Taking A Nap
mhoulden 2 years ago
Thor! They cancelled the New Year's Eve fireworks to avoid disturbing him. More details at https://bdmlr.org.uk/the-return-of-thor
Sian Edwards 2 years ago
He was also a complete exhibitionist - he started playing with his boy bits in public at one point!
Margaret H 2 years ago
If he's British and it's a Saturday night, yeah. I have to agree with you.
Load More Replies... David 2 years ago
So - I was curious about the pirate ship sign and googled. How cool was that for kids back when they did the buried treasure thing? === "A small replica of the Hispaniola was made for use on Scarborough's Mere to take kids out to an island with buried treasure. It now takes tourists out as a pirate ship from the harbour."
Joe Reaves 2 years ago
Brid has a pirate ship too. They should sail out and meet somewhere near Flamborough and have mock battles. It would be excellent.
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PurpleUnicorn🇮🇪 2 years ago
Thor has been touring Ireland, the UK and northern France for a while now!
Daycare Attendant Sun 2 years ago
I feel Thor on an emotional and spiritual level, as I, too, would love NOTHING more than to lie down and not be bothered for a bit.
#28
A True Neighbourly British Complaint
BM Khalid Hasan 2 years ago
In my country, if I send this letter to a neighbour, the sound will be double loud! My neighbour will take this as a challenge!
Natty Tempest 2 years ago
For all cun- sorry, participants in noise wars... I'm the one who cuts off the power to the whole building every time you start.
Lene 2 years ago
My mom and I did somewhat the opposite with the dude upstairs once. He had some sort of party going on and they had music. LOUD music. But my mom and I liked it so we went up there and when he opened the door he went into this sort of panic, thinking we were mad at the loud music. But instead we asked if we could borrow the cd (and we asked him to turn down the music just a tiny bit). It was a great cd. I don't recall any of it but for a week's time I was a big fan of whatever genre it was (house, perhaps?).
Crybabyartist 2 years ago
When I was 14ish, at home playing my stereo at dinner, at times my dad would say "Turn That Down" I'd go to the stereo and turn it up just a bit for just a split second, and then back down to exactly where it originally was and ask "hows that?" It was always "That's better". he he he
martymcmatrix 2 years ago
In my apartment complex, there is a 🤭silent/mute🤭 agreement that everyone tolerates the other's noise.
#29
A Facebook Post From My Local Pub Last Night
Bored Alpaca (She/Her) 2 years ago
Poor not Biff, I hope they found/will find (idk what year it was) the owner of the cat they buried
Cyber Returns 2 years ago
Biff shed a tear, knowing that his owners would make sure he had a good send off when he goes. 'Well, 8 lives left' he thought as he sniffed around his first grave
two-sided llama 2 years ago (edited)
or alternate theory that was Biff and since Biff is a god he resurrected
James D 2 years ago
My dad did this one, thought my sister friend had ran over and killed or cat, buried it in the garden. Then cat comes walking home next day, following nearby neighbuor asked if we'd seen there cat, Dad has to explained he's buried it in the garden. Story live on in family folklore
Just a ray of f'ing sunshine 2 years ago
Stephen King wrote a book about this exact thing. I'd be careful around Biff.
#30
British Weather Summed Up In 2 Images
TheGoodBoi 2 years ago
Looks like Texas where I am for on week out of the year! Oh wait we don’t have snow just straight ice that doesn’t melt no matter what you put on the streets 🫠
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Carman Davis 2 years ago
Just like South Carolina!! You can get frost bite and a nice sunburn all in the same day/week
#31
Northern Train Having An Existential Crisis
Michael Wilmer 2 years ago
Is this the finish the lyrics game? "...Much, but I know I love you ( Linda ronstandt song) is my guess 😁
Audrey Martin 1 year ago
I once got on a train at Birmingham New Street, that simply said "welcome to" I spent the whole journey worried that I was on the wrong train to Gobowen. It wasn't until we got to Shrewsbury that I realised that I was on the "Transport for Wales" train. Phew! what a relief.
#32
Oh Dear
Penelope Orange 2 years ago (edited)
This is amusing but I'm wondering how the patron got the card. I'm guessing it came from bar staff/bartender. Couldn't the actual credit card have been returned instead?
Chris ️️ 2 years ago
You’re given this card right from the start, upon opening the tab.
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Zita Gaspar 2 years ago
Okay, let me clarify. So right at the beginning of the night when you're still sober and you open a tab in the UK you have to leave your card behind the bar in exchange for another card. That helps the staff identifying which tab to add the drinks you (or your party) order and which card to use at the end of the night for settling the bill. People usually open a tab in a group setting. They could be splitting the bill evenly at the end or if the boss pays he can claim it back as petty cash etc. Opening a tab is quite standard in British drinking culture. When you wake up with a card like this it means you left your card at the pub and your bill is still not paid (unless you paid with a different card but then the staff would have known you had a tab when you paid for the bill and would have given your original card back). The staff didn't hold your card back because they thought you were too drunk and tried to protect it, but because you left without paying. Hope this helps :)
Mother of Cats 2 years ago
On the flip side is an offer for 50% off some breakfast when you return to collect your card. Who doesn't need a full British fry up with their hangover?! Brilliant piece of marketing as you're likely to return with your mates to get some scran!
Betsy Ray 2 years ago
They give that at the start of the evening and swap it back, returning the credit card they were holding. Too drunk to remember? This will help in the morning.
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#33
Certainly Wasn't Expecting This Message From My Dad Last Night
PotatoNinja5000 2 years ago
Been there, but it was a swan and instead of an elbow, it was a loud yell and me sprinting away.
#34
My Girlfriend Has Just Moved From Birmingham And Says My Village Is “Weird” For Having An Egg Vending Machine. She’s Wrong, Right..?
A. HAM 2 years ago
I’ve never seen one of these, where would an egg vending machine be located?
LauraDragonWench 2 years ago
I think the question should be, "Why aren't there more egg vending machines in the world?"
Chewie Baron 2 years ago
These are great as they’re placed in locations which don’t have convenience stores nearby (whose eggs are disgusting anyway), and the locals don’t have to drive miles to a supermarket etc. plus, they’re farm eggs and therefore taste amazing.
Mimi La Souris 2 years ago
impossible in my neighborhood, it would be vandalized in the day. it’s too bad because it’s convenient
#35
Heard A Noise In The Kitchen Whilst Sat Reading. I Don’t Own A Cat
Audrey Martin 1 year ago
I once woke up with a ginger cat on my bed, I did have a cat....just not this one 🤣
#36
Missus Wants Me To Pull Out All The Stops When I Eventually Propose. I’ve Kept This Bad Boy For Two Years
#37
Well Now, That's Not A Very Nice Thing To Say About Someone, Bbc News
Paul C. 2 years ago (edited)
....Which is fine, it's when she hits the wacky backy as well, that's when she gets a bit lairy.
April Pickett 2 years ago
What did you just say? What is a wacky backy and what is a lairy?
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The Phantom Stranger 2 years ago
As as American, I am perfectly willing to believe that there is a British village named "Clearly Drinks". (Callback!)
Karen Philpott 2 years ago
What would you expect from the BBC? One of their reporters asked a football captain if any of her team were gay and married. This to a team from a country where being gay is illegal. Talk about naivety or is it stupid and ignorant?
Nikole 2 years ago
Pretty sure she’s CFO of a company called “Cleary Drinks”.
Load More Replies... #38
Hard Hitting Questions On Loose Women Today
martymcmatrix 2 years ago
Every breath brings us a little closer to death but simply stopping to breathe would not solve the problem either.
Red Wyvern Emperor 2 years ago
Hmm... from scientific point of view, yes, inhaling mixture of gasses containing 21% of oxygen and exhaling mixture with less oxygen, but more CO2 has indeed been observed to help organisms stay alive longer. XD
Wendy Emlinger (ManyTotems) 2 years ago
It's the not breathing part that causes trouble with living.
#39
First Day Back In The Office At Work. Printed Off Some Faqs To Stick On The Door To Avoid The Post-Christmas Small Talk Barrage. Genius Or Peak Antisocial Grump?
Bored Alpaca (She/Her) 2 years ago
Not necessarily, it can be a bit annoying to answer the same questions over and over again
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Vix Spiderthrust 2 years ago
Don't blame them for staying in at New Year. You'll be charged £20 to get into some dive pub you wouldn't be seen dead in the other 364 and it'll take you until the next New Year to get served.
#40
Local Supermarket Has Started To Put A Protective Barrier Around The Employees Whilst They Put The Reduced Food Out On The Shelves. Out Of Shot Is A Horde Of Eager Pensioners Ready To Pounce
Emma S 2 years ago (edited)
I used to work in a supermarket and I understand this completely. It's impossible to do your job when customers are leaning over you and breathing down your neck so they get get 20p off a packet of ham.
James016 2 years ago
When I was a teen I worked in Safeway (bought by Morrisons). At one point they were selling 1Kg packets of castor sugar for some crazily cheap price, 10p a packet or something like that. All the nearby corner shop owners were coming to buy the sugar while the packets were still in their wrapping. 36 packets of sugar were wrapped up together. Eventually the store limited sugar to 2 packets per person and then eventually raised the price
VioletHunter 2 years ago
Probably at 8 am too and they were already waiting outside at least 10 minutes before opening.
Ayrendal 2 years ago
Geese. Price then up out the back where customers can’t get at you. Walk everything out on a trolley and stand back - let the assembled pensions have their way. Once they’re done, put the 3 or 5 remaining items on the shelf. Sorted, and you’re no longer wasting time putting g things out that won’t be there in 5 seconds anyway.
Teresa Yeates 2 years ago
Food prices being what they are it is hard to blame shoppers, maybe price them in the back, poor workers.
#41
This Is Not My Cat
Paul Moore 2 years ago
It's traditional Ale, very smooth, a little to easy to drink. Sold in many pubs and pretty much all supermarkets in the UK.
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#42
It's Kicking Off At Co-Op This Morning
Agfox 2 years ago
Plot twist, it's an ingredient, hence the label tasting notes... "Strong body with distinctive nutty flavour!"
ravn 2 years ago
Genuine tasting note I saw once applies here: "Notes of soft fur".
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Maggie Mae 2 years ago
Just Clear a Small Space & Put a Small Basket of Peanuts there for the Squirrel to Take!! Honestly Simple Solution as The Squirrel will Leave with The Nuts!!
Christine Watson 2 years ago
I love that a squirrel is lurking in the wine shelf. Cheeky critter, I love your style!
#43
My Son Tells Me (An Hour Before Bed) That He Needs A Cardboard Model Of His Favourite Book For School Tomorrow. Think We Can All Agree I Nailed It, Especially Hedwig
Sunny Day 2 years ago
Where's the "kid" in this project? You should have supplied him with the box, and given him the 1 hour to complete it, not done it all for him.
Stuart 2 years ago
I'll never ever understand why parents do their kids' homework. You need to let them fail if they don't do it. Teach them responsibility, ffs. How does you doing their homework helpi them??
Andy Frobig 2 years ago (edited)
I'll never understand why anyone does anyone's homework. It's a scam. One of my proudest moments was when I got an A for writing an essay explaining why I didn't finish a science project. In hindsight, this may have given me unrealistic expectations of a lifetime of rewards for explaining eloquently why I didn't do what I was supposed to do, but there's no going back now
Load More Replies... April Pickett 2 years ago
You did nail it, but it's his job to keep up with homework assignments. He had an hour.
Twiggy 42 2 years ago
Thanks. Never seen or read it so came to the comments to find the reference 😁
Load More Replies... Marilyn Russell 2 years ago
Okay cute, but how come kids don’t do their own homework projects anymore like we did?
#44
Disco Steve Is In Da House!
Amanda Rose 2 years ago
"I'm a kid's entertainer. What's your super power?" Well, it looks like you get to update the bumper sticker to include home renovator!
Crybabyartist 2 years ago
This is a set up. why are the bricks on the top cut in a nice arch and the bricks on the bottom have finished edges? "clever" advertising attempt.
#45
So Over The Last Few Days I’ve Watched This Evolve From Just A Traffic Cone, To A Traffic Cone And A Bin, To A Traffic Cone, A Bin And A Full Patio Set. I’m Impressed
Becky Samuel 2 years ago
Because since 2008 youth services have been at the bottom of the priority list for funding, meaning that almost all youth clubs and other societies providing places for young people to congregate and socialise with good adult role models have closed down. The fallout from this has been exactly what everyone predicted, with a new generation of young men that have no positive male role models in their lives and too much time on their hands. And then people wonder why knife crime, drugs etc are getting worse.
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Jill Bussey 2 years ago
I am surprised the bus shelter roof is strong enough to take that amount of weight.
Charity Angel 2 years ago
It's not, really. It likely gave out not long after this.
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Gustav Gallifrey 2 years ago
They'll have q challenge when it comes to getting the piano up there.
LadyVischuss 2 years ago
There used to be a construction horse in front of my house which was over a pothole. After about four months I went out and bought a new string mop head. I made a sign that said Mr. Ed and I hung it over the end of the horse that had the flashing light, and I hung the mop head up over the other side like a tail. Within a few weeks the pothole was filled and Mr. Ed was gone.
#46
Mum Always Gets Annoyed When We Mess With Her Nativity Scene. This Year We Took Baby Jesus Out For Beers And A Curry
Parriah 2 years ago
We replaced the three wisemen with Data, Worf and Riker start trek action figures and then lost the real ones so for 21 years going it’s been them still.
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LadyVischuss 2 years ago
My outdoor nativity set is made of blow mold plastic. I have the figurines arranged around the base of a tree. I also add a Halloween ghost, who has a happy look on his little face. It confuses the hell out of a lot of people however if you know your Bible, you know the Holy Trinity. Father, Son and Holy Ghost.
Chewie Baron 2 years ago
Still not as good as the Nativity scene that had a Gregg’s sausage roll in the manger!
#47
Peak Pettiness Or Justifiable Security In The Office Kitchen?
Mimi La Souris 2 years ago
i wil say sad necessity, in an old job, I was the lowest wage and I still had my food stolen :/
alicia 2 years ago
It'd be nice if the office could supply things like milk, and we don't need 40 gallons in there. As a person who does this for our multiple offices of different sizes, this kind of "perk" is really bare minimum, high ROI (return on investment) stuff. Long story short: I hate stingy companies.
Christine Watson 2 years ago
They only people who call s**t like this petty are the ones stealing other peoples food, otherwise why would you care?
#48
Is There A More British Sight Than A Postie In Shorts In The Snow?
Spencer's slave 2 years ago (edited)
Yup, rain, hail, snow or 30°C with 100% humidity and a Kiwi postie is delivering mail.
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Petra Schaap 2 years ago
party girls out on a saturday night only wearing a dress or very short skirts, also in the snow?
Janet Ryan 2 years ago
Fr there was a power outage at Christmas for a couple of days and at the unheated grocery store there were at least 20 people in shorts and or tank tops
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#49
I Made What The World Wasn’t Waiting For… Big Bean
Bouche, Audi, and Shyla, oh my! 2 years ago
And on the toast, unbind them!
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Andy Frobig 2 years ago
He's very excited to hear about a sibling he never knew existed
Load More Replies... #50
Your Fridge Has Been Delivered To Your Safe Place
Vix Spiderthrust 2 years ago
The instructions were "behind the bins". The delivery guy has gone above and beyond, to be honest.
#51
Queen Elizabeth II Corgis Waiting Outside The Procession For Her Coffin To Arrive
Laugh Fan 2 years ago
They are only temporarily looking after them on the day.
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Alexandra 2 years ago
I don't know what's worse: for a human to lose his pet or for a pet to lose his human....
JB 2 years ago
I’m going with human to lose their pet in general. Not because I don’t think they love us but because they deal with things like limb amputation so much better than humans do. Nonetheless, there is clear evidence that cats, dogs, horses and many other companions, have grieved the loss of their human.
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Meh 2 years ago
I thought the queen didn't have any dogs by the time she passed as she didn't want any left behind when she was gone ( her last one died a few years before she did) at least that what I read
Mabelbabel 2 years ago
Andrew gave her to them to keep her company when Prince Philip died.
Load More Replies... #52
Birds Eye View Of The UK
Lemme get the lemons 2 years ago (edited)
For anyone who doesn't understand birdseyes makes peas Edit: Jesus wept get a life, I didn't think I'd have to tell people that peas are t sculpted out of clay by the visual or of of an airborn creature
Nicola Roberts 2 years ago
up voting for the helpful comment, and for the mean comments from people who knew exactly what you meant.
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#53
We Love Our Fellow Brits Really. Honest
Kira Okah 2 years ago
Brits about people in the same county but the next large town or two over. Woolwich and Abbey Wood, Chatham and Maidstone, Llanelli and Carmarthen...
Sian Edwards 2 years ago
As a Carmarthen girl, I'll tell you now, those Llanelli people are absolutely savages!🤣
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JB 2 years ago
North Americans may never understand. My grandparents literally brought up the War of the Roses when arguing about where I was born because Yorks vs. Lancaster are never going to agree. As if I could have been born anywhere else. Bear in mind, many are still pissed at the French because Normans conquered us.
Paul Moore 2 years ago
They're definitely referring to Greater Manchester, that's we have border patrols around Lancashire
Blue Bunny of Happiness 2 years ago (edited)
We have those that live under the bridge (ie you go under the railway bridge to get to part of the village), who are odd compared to those of us on t’other side.
#54
Curry House Of The Dead
Kira Okah 2 years ago
I recall this situation in the news, it was a rather sad case of mistaken identity. I'll post an article if anyone wants, but given her name is blocked out I don't so much want to post a link that reveals it.
Karen Krause 2 years ago
Glad to hear this. Otherwise how bad was the family where they faked their deaths just to be gone from her?
Load More Replies... Chris D'Asta 2 years ago
Lucy, he has made it apparent he loves you no more, still loves his Curry, just not you so much.
#55
My Technophobic Wife Accidentally Locked Down Her Entire School
Apparently she was 'just typing'.
My wife is the most gifted teacher I've ever met. She works in an incredibly deprived school and has turned her department into one of the best performing in her local authority.
She accidentally pressed a combination of keys that set off the alert by default.
Everything is fine. Put down your pitchforks.
Red Wyvern Emperor 2 years ago
I've been working with Windows for 20 years now and I've never seen this. XD
Nicola Roberts 2 years ago
My cat can hit four simultaneous keys and find all sorts of configurations. The usual one though is flight mode.
Load More Replies... VioletHunter 2 years ago
"This is showed up" - hope that wasn't the wife, or if so, I hope she doesn't teach English.
#56
Mental How I Can’t Smoke In This Shop, But Guide Dogs Can
Beeps 2 years ago (edited)
No, you misunderstood that: it doesn’t mean that guide dogs can smoke, it means the only thing you can smoke in there are guide dogs.
Zakaria bin Haris 2 years ago
Market opportunity for Guide Dogs cigarette
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#57
I'm Here In The UK On A Work Trip. I Love How Us Yanks Think You Guys Are "Too Polite"!
Melody Shanahan-Kluth 2 years ago
the c word has gained in popularity over here in the past 20 years or so :)
Vix Spiderthrust 2 years ago
The best dirtscrawl I ever saw was "I wish my wife was as dirty as this van". Underneath, in different handwriting: "She is mate"
#58
I Miss Liverpool
Donkey boi 2 years ago
Your man is giving them 1 star for the same reason I'd give Liverpool 5 stars!
Huddo's sister 2 years ago
Steps were only a on hit wonder in Australia, but no school disco was complete without 5, 6, 7, 8 in the 90s/00s
Chris D'Asta 2 years ago
F**k Texas. Big ups to Liverpool. Any Brits wanna adopt a 49 year old man? Desperate to expatriate. Cute and witty, doesn't take up much space.
Vix Spiderthrust 2 years ago
It's a joke, mate. Liverpudlians joke. It's what makes it one of the best cities in the UK. (same goes for Newcastle)
#59
Just An Average Customer At My Local Co-Op
Aroace tiger (she/they/he) 2 years ago
O. M. G. I've never wanted to see some stranger irl till now
A Something 2 years ago
We have a parrot man where I live in the UK too. You’ll just see him walking with his parrot entirely chill - totally blagged my head when I first spotted him. Went the corner shop and they were all like ‘oh yeah he is well known’ 🤷♀️ lived here like 5 years now never seen him in my life
Load More Replies... Dark Pearl 2 years ago
Where do you live that your average Co-op customer is a parrot? *books train ticket there*
Groaver Andout 2 years ago
He's scanning through an eye patch, a hook and a temporary tattoo saying, "Jolly Rodger".
Danny Eglen 2 years ago
I think this is in Looe, Cornwall. Last time i was there i had a pint next to a similar looking man with a similar looking Parrot and there is a co op just up the road.
#60
‘Full English Breakfast’ Costume For A British Themed Party. Apparently I Didn’t Quite Understand The Assignment
Betsy Ray 2 years ago
Eh, he could be baked. I'd have to be baked to wear that hood.
Load More Replies... #61
Love What Asda Called Their New Knock Off Dr Pepper
Nikki Sevven 2 years ago
Coming soon: Lonely Hearts Club Soda! Only comes in one flavor: Strawberry Fields Forever.
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#62
Hmm
#63
At Least It's Not Shut For The Foreskinable Future
Cyber Returns 2 years ago
It's like playing pin the tail on the donkey but you have to remove it while blindfolded
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#64
First Time Ever: Finished A Bottle Of Worcestershire Sauce, Before It Expires!
Synaptic Disorder 2 years ago
But how did you pronounce it? 🤔 Germans like me use to say Worschestersoße 😂
Natty Tempest 2 years ago (edited)
I can verefy... My cheese on toast cravings are just not regular enough to use a whole bottle!
#65
When Your Mum Watches Good Morning Britain So Much It Gets Permanently Burned Into Your TV
#66
Over A Year Ago I Bought A Kettle That Had A Short Plug Lead, Today I Found This
VonBlade 2 years ago
I'm stunned that the lead didn't jump out of the hole and force you to turn it the other way up to fix. They never stay in place.
VioletHunter 2 years ago
That will happen only now that he/she discovered the length.
Load More Replies... Nikki Sevven 2 years ago
Even if you think you know how something works, it can be helpful to read the instructions. You'd be surprised how many features aren't obvious or even intuitive.
Julie S 2 years ago
Breville is an Australian company that makes small electrical appliances.
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#67
Council Just Left Stacks Of New Bins For Us To Fight Over And Buggered Off
Karen Krause 2 years ago
They've hidden cameras around for streaming pay for view: new source of revenue for the village.
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Becky Samuel 2 years ago
They all have wheels, they're just stacked together.
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#68
On This Day 25 Years Ago We Lost Princess Diana. Forever In Are Hearts
Full Name 2 years ago
Nobody knew. But then there was a careless whisper...
Load More Replies... #69
Found This Monstrosity While Walking In London
Elladine DesIsles 2 years ago
Yes, but, this still wouldn't match if it were flipped around? There is no border of square bricks on that side. Mixed up with a different patch somewhere nearby?
Mimi La Souris 2 years ago
I’m the kind of person who goes home to pick up a tool and comes back and puts it back in properly. 🤦🏻♀️
#70
First Time Living On My Own, I Put These Here Over A Week Ago And They’re Still There. How Do I Get Them To Go To The Bathroom?
Michael P (Perthaussieguy) 2 years ago
Give them a pint of beer. They'll soon want to go to the bathroom. It works for me
Crazy Meerkat Lady 2 years ago
Only women can do that, you'll have to get married now I'm afraid
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#71
Step Aside Chatgpt!
Cyber Returns 2 years ago
I wonder if it will have the entire Junior Colour Encyclopedia of Space uploaded to it
Clown fish 2 years ago
I'm off to watch red dwarf! I've not watched it millions of times already
Load More Replies... John Carr 2 years ago
I have the Hammond Organ version. None of my friends know what it is 😭
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#72
Tesco Delivered The Wrong Wine. I Complained, And Another Delivery Driver Turned Up 2 Hours Later With £31 In Cash In An Envelope!
Ren Karlej 2 years ago
Not how their customer services normally play out... usually an online refund and possibly a gesture of goodwill voucher!
QJBean 2 years ago
Broccoli is much better theh probably thought they were doing you a favour
Load More Replies... LokisLilButterknife 2 years ago
I call "things that I made up" so I could get my five minutes of internet fame.
#73
Looks Like Someone Didn't Pay Their Builder
#74
Who Controls The Tide?
Paul C. 2 years ago (edited)
Please tell me they are joking....please! Nobody is that thick, surely...... I know, don't call me Surely!
PotatoNinja5000 2 years ago
Should have checked tide times. Even if the prediction was a bit off, you still have a fairly good idea of when high and low tide is.
Dodo (they/them) 1 year ago
For the sake of my sanity, I'm gonna pretend that's exactly what they meant - that they checked the tide times that were posted and they were completely wrong so they want to know who's in charge of posting them.
Load More Replies... Eunice Probert 2 years ago
She should take her complaint to the moon, which does control the tides!
artfar1534 2 years ago
Looks like it was written by a cat dancing across a keyboard with those spelling mistakes
#75
Borrowed Wife's Car This Morning And Found This. Should I Seek Professional Help For Her?
Herringbone 2 years ago (edited)
No, this is like my car radio too. This is a sign of extreme sanity.
Wilf 2 years ago (edited)
BBC's classical music channel. (BBC1- popular music that middle aged DJs think 18 year olds will like; BBC2- 70s hits presented by even older DJs; BBC3- classical music for Oxford choirmasters; BBC4- politicians refusing to answer questions, endless plays seemingly written in 1947- oh and the shipping forecast for some reason; BBC5- people describing sport games that you used to be able to actually see on the tv, but the BBC subsequently could not afford to buy the rights to; BBC6- Icelandic ska-punk fusion, French-Guyanan techno-house music and Mongolian throat singing.) Hope that helps!
Load More Replies... Blue Bunny of Happiness 2 years ago
Should have been radio 2 obviously. The annoyance when you collect your car after a service and the mechanics have put in on radio ? Dreadful!
#76
Had These Internationally Shipped To The U.S.. I Appreciated The Mini Lesson On How To Correctly Read The Date
Zoe Vokes 2 years ago
Every country in the world writes it Day / Month / Year except America.
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#77
Not My Car But It Is My Neighbour
BeaBea 2 years ago
There's nothing passive aggressive. If anything is straightforward and polite
Load More Replies... #78
Looks Like Henry's Had A 21st Century Makeover
Donkey boi 2 years ago
I thought the blue one was called Charles? Red = Henry, Pink = Hetty, Green = Harry, Yellow = James
Petra Schaap 2 years ago
best vaccuum cleaner i ever had. No nonsense. Almost 20 years old still going strong. Best solution for random households.
Chewie Baron 2 years ago
Still uses a bag though. I was going to get one, but they still use bags.
#79
I Have A Sick Dog So I Ordered £70 Worth Of Groceries From Morrisons Via Deliveroo. Morrisons Accepted The Order But Cancelled Almost Every Item. I Paid £5 Delivery And £5 Tip. And I Got An Onion. Deliveroo Refused To Cancel. Behold, The World’s Most Expensive Onion
Cyber Returns 2 years ago
This one would make me slit my wrists on a fine sunny day
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Jude Corrigan 2 years ago
Deliveroo are terrible with refunds. If you contact them to say that some of your items are missing, sometimes they refund and sometimes they don't. There is part of the contract saying something like, if items are missing either the customer or Deliveroo covers the cost. Surely you shouldn't be charged for something you haven't received??
#80
Wtf? The Rental Agent Said This Is A Great Bathroom. Wtf Is Wrong With These Morons? I’m Average Height By The Way
martymcmatrix 2 years ago
What's the deal with this bamboo ladder? Do you need it to climb down to your bathroom? Actually, it's great, but only up to 1,45 meters in body height...
David A Paterson 2 years ago
Are you sure that's not Japan? Bamboo ladder and all. In other countries I might have to duck to get through a low door, in Japan I have to duck to walk down the corridor.
Tina Casarotto 2 years ago
Obviously for someone height challenged. They even provided a ladder!
Nice Beast Ludo 2 years ago
Is the room getting smaller? Or are you getting bigger??? muwahahahaha
#81
Coworker Keeps Joking About Me Being ‘Precious’ Because I Never Accept When He Offers To Make Me A Cuppa. This Is How He Makes His Tea
Wilf 2 years ago
If he makes his girlfriends cups of tea like that I don't think there's much risk of his genes spreading...
Load More Replies... Will Cable 2 years ago
So much politeness using 'wee' instead of what I was thinking.
Load More Replies... Huddo's sister 2 years ago
Might be on the list of reasons my parents divorced! Dad's tea usually looks like this.
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Donkey boi 2 years ago
Can you post a pic of the tea? Also, why does he store his milk in a cup?
Cyber Returns 2 years ago
Is that egg custard? Wait, play him this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ei46KnXB3BA&ab_channel=LiveFeedTV
#82
My Daughter Being So Casually British About Coming Out
Emma S 2 years ago
The way coming out to parents should be. As a mother I can't imagine disowning your child purely because of their sexual orientation.
Chewie Baron 2 years ago
My bast mate’s ex sister in law told his nephew about him being gay. He was so traumatised, that his reply was “Oh, okay. Can I have a biscuit please?”.
Load More Replies... Mimi La Souris 2 years ago
if this parent is like my mother, she will not have understood the message :D
Sherry Moore 2 years ago
As my dear dad would say "are you bitching or bragging?" Literally translated as " okay, now let's get on with the real problem, what's for dinner?" I miss you terribly daddy
#83
Spotted In My Local Sainsbury's - Not Sure This Quite Adds Up
Zoe Vokes 2 years ago
Maybe they’re assuming you’ll spend the extra £45.85 on alcohol or something else if you’re saving money?
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#84
A Proper Christmas Start
Kira Okah 2 years ago
So I showed this to my partner, they want to know where to obtain this pan.
Hooked 2 years ago
I was wondering too, and I Googled "English Breakfast pan". They do exist !!!!
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Chewie Baron 2 years ago
No no no no no no no! A proper Christmas morning start is a Bucks Fizz. The drink, not the band.
Vix Spiderthrust 2 years ago
I mean, that does look delicious, but can you manage Christmas dinner on top of that?
LokisLilButterknife 2 years ago (edited)
Hah hah, no. That looks like very burnt black pudding (blood sausage).
Load More Replies... Gwen LeMay 2 years ago
I'm in Canada and I eat beans on toast with a soft over easy fried egg or tow on top about 3 times a week sometimes breakfast some times lunch or dinner
#85
Watching The England V France Match And Searched Up The Referee On Google
#86
I've Been Stood Here For Hours And Nothing Has Even Happened
Melody Shanahan-Kluth 2 years ago
it should be 'closely' not close (well, any excuse to pedant)
Porribix 2 years ago
an area thats "close"d in and therefore only has one entrance/exit
Load More Replies... #87
Every UK Household's Secret Shame
Jayne Brown 2 years ago
Yeah ... I have a collection of these. But they have practical purposes - get some glass paint, paint them, put a tealight in, voila cheap presents. Or, like me, ashtrays.
Everybody Say Love! 2 years ago
I use mine for mise en place, really handy for kitchen prep.
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Blue Bunny of Happiness 2 years ago
But why aren’t they stuffed higgledy-piggledy into a cupboard that you rarely use so they can make a bid for freedom when you open the door?
SmooshieFries 2 years ago
Aha, little remakins of desserts like mousse , pudding, and mini cheesecake. A tiny guilty pleasure, shot glass size
#88
Microsoft Has Mistranslated Zip Files As "Postcode" In The Gb Insider Version Of Windows 11
#89
Top Tier Dad Joke From My Dad
#90
It’s Lovely Being Back In The UK And Getting Proper TV Journalism
Pickles, Pennies, & Ponies 2 years ago (edited)
All I can focus on is that guys whiter than white teeth. Can't lose him in the dark, as long as he's smiling
#91
Technically True
James016 2 years ago
It's that price because it's being sold in John Lewis. I tried one of these. I found it so uncomfortable.
Load More Replies... #92
London To Edinburgh Train Today... Let's Hope No One Needs To Pee
Petra Schaap 2 years ago
ok. If i was on that train and needed the toilet, your suitcases would be casually thrown out.
#93
Friend Is Studying For Their Citizenship Test And I Have To Say We Both Thoroughly Disagree With This Answer
Andi 2 years ago
ALSO (yes I'm shouting now) if it's the UK test its a FLAT, not and apartment !!!!
Anne Jones 2 years ago
Nope. I’ve lived in my house for 30 years and have no idea who lives next door.
VonBlade 2 years ago (edited)
Same. My partner is the "knows everyones name" type, and if it wasn't for them I wouldn't know my neighbours name, but they know the names of relations of people 10 doors up.
Load More Replies... Cyber Returns 2 years ago
I live in the UK and can say without a doubt, when you move into a new home you fight with the neighbours until a friendship is formed
Vix Spiderthrust 2 years ago
Yes, that is F*CKING wrong. But chances are the writing of the citizenship test was outsourced to a French company.
#94
My Local Pubs Cheese And Onion Rolls
TheAmericanAmerican 2 years ago
No! For real, guys?? I mean I love me some onions, but this is just so wrong! 🤣
#95
Staying At My Parents Tonight. My Boyfriend Just Looked In Their Fridge And Said ‘I’ve Never Seen A Fridge Have So Much Yet So Little At The Same Time’
Mimi La Souris 2 years ago
sauce, condiments, cans, condiments, sauce, bottles, sauce, a salad, condiments... :)
#96
The Opening Ceremnony For... Lidl?
Clown fish 2 years ago
You can't ask! You get a feather bower and so wasted you forget your name. Lol
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#97
I'm Back Home For Christmas In Bedfordshire After 8 Years Of Being Away And I Have 2 Questions! When The Frick Did This Haircut Happen And Why Wasn't It Stopped?
Paul C. 2 years ago
Yeah I'm not too keen on modern mens haircuts but in my time, I've had a perm, a pony tail and a mullet, so probably best if I shut the F up.
Nikki Sevven 2 years ago
I really dislike this haircut. Y'all look like a bunch of toilet brushes.
TheAmericanAmerican 2 years ago
No worries, mate, it's unfortunately popular across the channel on the main land too! 😆
Lil Miss Hobbit 2 years ago
Only Patty has it long in the back too. His isn't faded.
Load More Replies... martymcmatrix 2 years ago
...not to mention Germany since we've always had to deal with the most problematic haircuts in the past...
Load More Replies... #98
I’m In A Bad Place At The Moment… Not Mentally, I’m Just In
Paul C. 2 years ago (edited)
🎵Eating Trifles, Eating Trifles.🎵 ( It's ok I know what it's called really.)
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Wilf 2 years ago
Yes. It is a byword for depressing and dull suburbia. "Come friendly bombs and fall on Slough..." by John Betjeman sums it up.
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Adele Maestranzi 2 years ago
Got family in the UK nearby, and they call it Sluff, too.
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#99
It’s Just A Hole In The Wall I Don’t Get It, What’s So Special? 😭 Why Is It A Tourist Attraction? Why Are The Reviews Like This?
Anne Jones 2 years ago
For those who don’t understand, we call an ATM machine a hole in the wall.
The Original Bruno 2 years ago
Odd. we Yanks use that phrase for tiny little inns and diners.
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Elladine DesIsles 2 years ago
That hole has space for a wide assortment of glories - and brick burn, lots and lots of brick burn.
Janet Ryan 2 years ago
marthmcmatrix you’re like a dog never knowing when to but in
Load More Replies... #100
Found This On The Work Printer
Jill Bussey 2 years ago
I'll take the pie and mash with green liquor, but you can keep the rest!
#101
This Is Ridiculous
Andy Frobig 2 years ago
Would consider, but the 6 hour commute to midtown Manhattan almost cancels out the savings on rent
Tina Casarotto 2 years ago
Especially since it's a made up body part that doesn't exist.
Load More Replies... #102
Just Got This Email From My Boy's School. There Was A Swift Follow Up To Say Teacher Should Be Replaced With Cheetah
Rens 2 years ago
Why would any trip include going to a shanty town??? I left South Africa 20 odd years ago there's no way you'd get me to go to any shanty town in any country!
Styx 2 years ago
When I was there some 30 years ago, if you drove into a shanty town by mistake, chances were you wouldn't make it out again ...
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Tucker Cahooter 2 years ago
I know it's not the point of the post but I really cringed when reading the "one of the criteria's" bit in the letter (and in a letter from an educational institution to boot)
Donkey boi 2 years ago
What is socially acceptable really has changed sine my days at school...
Cyber Returns 2 years ago
Nope. They got that right. It's how that schools teachers get their jollies
#103
I Don’t Even Know Where To Post This
JoyfulZebra 2 years ago
You know that scene in The Incredibles where Mr. Incredible had balls shot at him, and expanded when he got hit? It's like someone made an outfit out of those balls.
Happy bean 2 years ago
THATS WHAT I TOLD MY FRIENDS AND THEY DIDN’T UNDERSTAND?!
Load More Replies... Alexander Elliott 2 years ago (edited)
I am sick and tired of these jokes about my giant legs. The first such joke was...
#104
Note Left In The Kitchen By My Housemate Because Her Oven Glove Has Disappeared
Tina Casarotto 2 years ago (edited)
Buy a massive amount of oven gloves and hide them all over the house. Explain she has a terrible oven glove addiction.
#105
Found Sealed In My Nans Kitchen Cupboard
Kira Okah 2 years ago
Man, just from the design of the box. People would totally buy it on ebay though.
Blue Bunny of Happiness 2 years ago
Amateur. My Mum has a jar of skimmed milk powder from 1987…
Colin Matthews 2 years ago
Similar story, stayed at an Airbnb that was clearly grandmas old flat after she died. Every food item was at least 20 years past best before date
Spencer's slave 2 years ago
Yup, the preservatives alone will probably outlast human kind.
Load More Replies... #106
I Got A Life Size (6’5) Jeremy Clarkson Cardboard Cut Out For Christmas, What Should I Do With It?
Merty Robinson 2 years ago
I've got a life sized cardboard Jeremy Corbyn. We should get them together and make them kiss.
Chewie Baron 2 years ago
Get a life size cut out of Piers Morgan, and in true TV Burp tradition, FIGHT!!!!!!
#107
New Girl At Greggs Doesn’t Know The Bacon To Bap Ratio Yet :)
#108
Wish Me Luck, Guys!
Michael P (Perthaussieguy) 2 years ago
£10 accepted. Compulsory specialist delivery fees will be £423,740.00
VonBlade 2 years ago
Then it doesn't arrive and we only have to refund the tenner.
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#109
Finally Found A Job Worse Than Mine - Playground Inspector. I Watched Him Test Every Piece Of Kids Playground Equipment In The Rain
Carrie de Luka 2 years ago
How is testing play equipment ever a bad job? Sod the rain, that doesn't matter a jot!!
Mimi La Souris 2 years ago (edited)
true, if I didn't wear glasses, the rain wouldn't bother me
Load More Replies... Cyber Returns 2 years ago
"Swing, swinging... check. Slide, sliding... check. Seesaw, seesawing... check. Roundabout, um roundabouting?... check"
#110
It Takes Roughly 30 Creme Eggs To Fill A Fullsized Easter Egg. Presenting...the Megga Creme
Kira Okah 2 years ago
Now seal it up, crack it open, and slowly eat. As much fun as a giant creme egg sounds, that is a loooot of sugar.
Spencer's slave 2 years ago
Freeze it and eat it like chocolate coated icecream
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#111
Thank You For Your 44 Years At Asda
Sunny Day 2 years ago
People make fun of these gifts, but it was someone's effort to be nice. Because you know corporate did jack all.
Vix Spiderthrust 2 years ago
My grandmother worked for years in a Cadbury's factory, and every year after her retirement she could go down and get a hamper from them for Christmas. One year she was queuing up and someone behind her said "Isn't it awful, we worked for them all those years and all we get is some chocolate". My grandfather, who was queuing with her, turned round and said "I worked for the Post Office for forty years and they don't give me a bloody stamp."
Load More Replies... Joshua David 2 years ago
There was a man who worked at US Burger King for 24 years without missing a day. On the anniversary, he got a clear bag with 2 ink pens, a keychain, one movie ticket voucher and some candy.
#112
Used An Ai To Bring Henry Viii Into 2022- Thoughts?
#113
Cheers Eon, Glad I Sat In The Dark For An Hour
Spencer's slave 2 years ago
My power company ( NZ ) sent me a similar email except mine is $649.00 and a reduction to $19 a week.
SkyBlueandBlack 2 years ago
We got solar panels, so now our bills are usually under $10. Used to be over $200.
Load More Replies... #114
Someone On Facebook Posted This Breakfast Served At Alton Towers Hotel And It Keeps Me Up At Night
Edward Monks 2 years ago
may as well have dashed the beans all over the ...cardboard box...as well
The Goo King 2 years ago
The more you look the worse it gets. Why is it in a box? Why are the beans in a mug? Is the egg trying to crawl away?
Lee Henderson 2 years ago
I'd eat it. Except for the beans. As an American, the last time I had beans for breakfast was in jail.
Kiss Army 2 years ago
That's a lie!! I work in an American prison and even we wouldn't serve beans for breakfast! :-)
Load More Replies... #115
Ai Can Generate British Streets With Alarming Accuracy
Will Cable 2 years ago
Not enough potholes and speed bumps, no person on the wrong side of the road riding an illegal e-scooter, no Christmas decorations still hanging up outside the house
#116
I Don't Know Where To Start
Nice Beast Ludo 2 years ago
I want to steal one and hide it in the bushes somewhere random to see if they come retrieve it
Taibhse Sealgair 2 years ago (edited)
Unless it has a battery, a GPS receiver, AND a transmitter to send its location back to someone else, the "Protected by GPS" thing is BS.
My O My 2 years ago
At my home it indeed happens. You know, the leftovers in the tupperware....
Load More Replies... #117
Pics From Our Old Letting Agent’s Check Out Report. Still Baffles Me
Michael P (Perthaussieguy) 2 years ago
'Total bond withheld due to hair all over the place. Professional cleaners brought in to completely clean the house again'
#118
Happy Halloween Guys God Save The Queen
Trish 2 years ago
Not sure why younwere downvoted, so have an upsie. I agree it's too soon. I think sometimes people forget that those in the spotlight are also human.
Load More Replies... #119
Whose Stuff Does The British Museum Have?
Caroline Nagel 2 years ago
Can we be sure that all these artifacts would have survived until today if the UK hadn't taken them? Just a question, I'm NOT saying the artefacts shouldn't be given back.
Bored Alpaca (She/Her) 2 years ago
I was about to say I am happy they don't have anything Australian but then I found this: Screenshot...4b-png.jpg 
Norm Gilmore 2 years ago
You made me curious. Not that it's a competition or anything...😁 British-mu...92-png.jpg 
HelmGrass 2 years ago
cant believe they dont have Dutch stuff... They have Brittish stuff I m sure
Vix Spiderthrust 2 years ago
The Dutch were a successful rival empire to the British, so it makes sense.
Load More Replies... Vix Spiderthrust 2 years ago
Cool. Tell that to the Lenape tribe who used to own Manhattan, or the Blackfoots whose land was stolen to make Mount Rushmore.
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arthbach 2 years ago
There are. However, there's quite a number of Scottish, Welsh and NI Irish things that have been move to London rather than leaving them in the country of origin.
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Johnnynatfan 2 years ago
What could they have from the US? I mean we are a pretty young country. Maybe some revolutionary war items. I’m curious to know.
SkyBlueandBlack 2 years ago (edited)
You realize there were people here before 1776, right? Like, for thousands of years? Or did you go to school in Florida?
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#120
I Kinda Wanna Know If I Have The Most Owned Copies Of Flushed Away, Like Maybe Not In The World But In The UK? I Have 9 So Far. Any Of You Have More?
#121
A Greggs Just Opened Up Next To Another Greggs In Norwich
kath morgan 2 years ago
Shop to let, suggests one is closing. I guess they didn’t want people to go without pasties during a move lol
The Original Bruno 2 years ago
You guys will never believe what pasties means in America.
Load More Replies... Cyber Returns 2 years ago
There will be another Gregg's opening soon on the opposite side of the road from the Gregg's on the right, creating a Greggahedron where people walking through the area will suddenly taste sausage rolls for no apparent reason
Petra Schaap 2 years ago
behind the person who took this picture theres a gaggle of Prets and 12 Starbuckses.
Huddo's sister 2 years ago
In one of the suburbs I used to live in there was a Coles supermarket at each end of a carpark. I think one was meant to be a liquor store but they either didn't get planning approval or their liquor licence was pulled. Always seemed odd though.
The Problem With Censorship Is ******* 2 years ago (edited)
Well, one has a yellow logo, and the other one a red logo. I rest my case.
Ross “Sarcastic Dad” 2 years ago (edited)
I watch a lot of British TV, but I haven't been to England since I was 10. I want to go to a Greggs sooooo bad. They talk about it all the time and it sounds amazing!
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Mat Hall 2 years ago
"... “bottle of water” in an English accent..." This bugs me. There is no "English accent", we probably have a greater variety of distinct accents as a proportion of area than most other countries, and we have dozens of regional dialects. The glottalised T is not a universal English phenomenon (nor a uniquely English one).
mysterious(all pronouns) 2 years ago
Quick question for the British. Why does your bacon look like that? It's still very good, but it looks nothing like American bacon.
Ace 2 years ago (edited)
In the UK they have broadly speaking two types of bacon, streaky, which is like your American bacon but not usually so thinly cut, and back bacon which us like what you call Canadian. Both cuts are available in various cures, smoked, unsmoked, dry cured, etc. Not sure if you can still get it but there used to be what was called 'middle' bacon, simply the back and the streaky parts not cut off from each other. France labels streaky bacon as 'poitrine' which roughly means breast, and sometimes has something called bacon which is actually just the round centre of back bacon with all the fat trimmed off, intended to be eaten uncooked (though it's already cured).
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VonBlade 2 years ago
There's no such thing as bad weather, just the wrong clothes.
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Mat Hall 2 years ago
"... “bottle of water” in an English accent..." This bugs me. There is no "English accent", we probably have a greater variety of distinct accents as a proportion of area than most other countries, and we have dozens of regional dialects. The glottalised T is not a universal English phenomenon (nor a uniquely English one).
mysterious(all pronouns) 2 years ago
Quick question for the British. Why does your bacon look like that? It's still very good, but it looks nothing like American bacon.
Ace 2 years ago (edited)
In the UK they have broadly speaking two types of bacon, streaky, which is like your American bacon but not usually so thinly cut, and back bacon which us like what you call Canadian. Both cuts are available in various cures, smoked, unsmoked, dry cured, etc. Not sure if you can still get it but there used to be what was called 'middle' bacon, simply the back and the streaky parts not cut off from each other. France labels streaky bacon as 'poitrine' which roughly means breast, and sometimes has something called bacon which is actually just the round centre of back bacon with all the fat trimmed off, intended to be eaten uncooked (though it's already cured).
Load More Replies... VonBlade 2 years ago
There's no such thing as bad weather, just the wrong clothes.
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