Even though we can all vaguely know what to expect on any given internet page, the truth is that humans are unpredictable and chaotic, so some days, you’ll be exposed to ideas you never would have thought of. Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on who you ask) anyone can share what they see for posterity.
We’ve gathered some of the most unhinged, random and bizarre from people who saw something interesting online and knew they had to save it. So get comfortable as you scroll through, upvote your favorites and be sure to share your thoughts in the comments down below.
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Nice Try Peta, We Ain't Having It
PETA supposedly stands for People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals. They are anything but ethical. If you want to donate to help animals, help a local shelter or rescue group.
What kind of mind looks at anything that Steve Irwin was doing and manage to come up with something negative to say? Only a sick twisted demented abhorrent mind, I would say. THAT is why I believe the hearsay of mass euthanasia and eco terrorist links that PETA is associated with...
Really????? (I live under a rock most times. ). WOW, I always thought that they were for good. VERY thankful I read this thread.
Load More Replies...They even tried to steal a dog from a homeless man when the dog clearly wanted to stay with the man
Why Do Women Cry When Angry?
Its because, if i remember correctly, any strong emotion can make you cry, its your body trying to calm down if its too much
Upvote because it is not a woman thing only as a man I can tell you it happens to us as well. I would say more tearing up and not so much crying.
Load More Replies...I have actually told someone in the past "Be happy I'm crying, that means I'm angry and upset. If I'm not crying that means I'm angry and calm. And if I'm calm - I'm planning."
There’s the old joke about a couple who have been married a long time being asked if they ever considered divorce. Their answer was, “Divorce? Never! Murder, on the other hand…” I’ve been married almost a quarter of a century, and I can tell you that joke has a load of truth to it. We have had arguments that included tears (on both sides, btw), but we always sorted it out. That’s part of the hard work that goes into marriage.
Yep! Just told a couple of single friends (in front of my husband) "Oh, he is absolutely my best friend! But that doesn't mean I haven't considered putting a pillow over his face while he sleeps." They looked horrified, but my husband of 15 years nodded enthusiastically in agreement 😂
Load More Replies...Women are screwed in the western corporate world because during horrible conversations, biologically men tend to lock up and contemplate unaliving the speaker while women lock up and their faces start to leak against their own will. This is from seeing it a hundred times, not a guess. Plus my anthro degree.
Society shuns a crying man so the anger gets cycled through again in hopes some other outlet takes some steam out of it. So we look like we are about to skin someone with bare hands
Load More Replies...But Be Careful
Good luck. Can hardly get mine to take a pill let alone sit still for shaving
Honestly as a father of a daughter, shaved is too close to "infant" and please God let your adult hair grow.
As a daughter of a father, we don't care what our dads or other daughters' dads think about our hoohas or what they look like when shaved. I wax every couple of months for cleanliness and ease of washing during my period. I guarantee you I don't wax it for "A MAN" (or a woman or someone who is NB) as I've been the only one with access rights to my hwatchacha for the last 6 years or so. I'm waxing my bajingo because I want to, and I like it waxed and smooth and hairless, and I don't care what you, God, or my dad think. I mean, my dad's dead, but that's not the point. Why are you so concerned with the smoothness of women's genitalia and length of their vajayjay-hair? It doesn't belong to you. You don't get a say.
Load More Replies...You like prepubescent little girls? I think it's so gross that men find that attractive.
How in the world does preferring shaved pubes (or, related (because I've seen people say this a lot), small breasts) make someone a pédo?
Load More Replies...You're saying that children can't have pubes? What?
Load More Replies...Why the héll are there THREE different comments saying that liking shaved pubes means that they like childrens' genitals? What the fúck
Browsing the internet is sort of like attending a free exhibition of art students presenting their work, there can be such a random mix of ideas, good and bad, at any time. Sometimes, it resembles an enormous city environment, complete with surprise street art you didn't ask to see but can't resist taking a photo of.
A tweet with a ridiculously over‐the‐top typo, a Facebook status carelessly shared publicly, or a random console glitch on someone's livestream, any of them can freeze you mid‑scroll and refuse to let you move on. It might be an autocorrect that has gone utterly insane in a work group chat, a rapid-fire meme one of your co-workers quickly crafted in the comments section on a real news post, or one of the bizarre product descriptions on some marginal marketplace site that promises a life-changing gadget. Anything that registers the right combination of absurdity, retro, or poetic intersection is screenshot worthy.
The Prophecy Has Been Fulfilled
Thinking about how my dumb fuq mother's husband uses clips and plugs to defeat seatbelt warnings. Selfish piece of s**t says "It's my right," or, "if it's my time to go..." Meanwhile, the dumb c**t has a daughter and wife who depend on him and doesn't give a single solitary f**k about the emotional wellbeing of the person involved in the collision that kills him... If you do the same, you're a real piece of s**t
Show him this massively effective ad from Ireland. He is so selfish… it’s not just about him.. it’s him being thrown from Impact of a crash and full force head butting passengers. https://youtu.be/NsPFJAiPe5M
Load More Replies...Good idea !, seat belts save lives , they ain’t in cars for the sheer hell of it , USE THEM !!
I had a 1994 Mazda that even when I was buckled up would ding. So a friend shorted it to stop it from dinging, but I always buckle. Another little tip I've already posted: police have told me that windows should be either all the way up or all the way down to avoid brutal injuries in the case of an accident. Done with my PSA for the day.
Uh, wouldn't work. I know someone who buckled the seat belt behind them
Great, so now I have to put my seatbelt on to listen to music in the garage whilst I'm cleaning the car!
Just do up the seat belt if the alert sounds. Though it is the weight on the seat that triggers the circuit that prompts for the seat belt.
Load More Replies...No no, that wouldn’t work. Many people start their cars and let them warm up, or park their cars and get out briefly while the ignition is still running. BUT some vehicles won’t even let you shift out of Park without the seatbelt buckled. That’s a better idea :)
Load More Replies...This would be a bonus for me (joking). My car unmutes the radio every time you start it. Even if you turn the volume down to zero or turn on mute it still comes on at a slight volume when you start the car. The solution is to swap to CD without one being loaded. Bloody stupid design.
An R/Askreddit Post Answered Itself
I believe you're not allowed to have beer until you're five years old.
Load More Replies...This Tear Perking Comment Under A Youtube Video
Awww. My grandpa, on the other hand, was utterly obsessed with horror movies. He somehow managed to drag half the family into watching horror movies with him. I don’t even like the horror genre but I’d still find myself watching with him.
My granny LOVED horror films, and she was so excited when I got into them as a kid, as no one else would watch them with her. Never would have expected this tiny old lady from bumfucĸ nowhere Ireland would be staying up late to watch a Hellraiser marathon. I miss her.
Load More Replies...It has both Harrison Ford and Daniel Craig (in tight pants). What's not to like?
Load More Replies...I happened to really like cowboys vs aliens, a good entertaining movie. Also liked waterworld as well...
My father, OTOH, liked Steven Seagal movies (from his early oeuvre) and would say to me, "Put on that one where he's in a coma [Hard to K**l]. Put on that one where he's looking for Richie. [I feign not knowing.] You know, that one where he shoots the guy's leg off. [Out for Justice] Put on that one where he breaks the guy's back over his knee. [Marked for Death]" For years after he died, every time I saw a Steven Seagal DVD I would reach out my hand to buy it for my dad, then remember. :( But Dad would not have liked SS's horrible behaviour or his later movies.
My grandma and I watched Cadfael on PBS Mystery! together years ago. It kicked off my love of British TV. She's been gone for 10 years now, and I still watch the whole series every year and think of her.
I love the books more than the series. But I love Derek Jacobi. One of the finest actors ever.
Load More Replies...Only time I ever spent solo with my grandfather was when my paternal grandmother dropped me off at the wrong house in the 70s. The homeowner called the police when she found me alone on her doorstep. My grandpa had to pick me up from the police station and promptly took me to Jewel where my grandmother was working and I got to sit on a bench and eat marshmallows and people watch while she finished her shift. It was a great 10 minutes of quality time. 🙄.
And of course, there are the mysterious recesses of the web: 404 pages that include humorous cartoons, captcha puzzles so strange they amount to modern art, or error messages in ancient fonts that are like time capsules from the dawn of the net. You might be able to capture an escaped CSS glitch on your favorite website that makes the header wander aimlessly around the page, or a "Site Under Maintenance" notice that inadvertently shares a joke.
That's Gonna Escalate Quickly
I was in front of a mirror when I felt something land on my head. Yes you guessed it. I'm telling you those African tribal dances had nothing on me!
I felt something on my head three days ago. It turns out it was yellow jackets. The swelling still hasn't gone down.
Load More Replies...A neighbour once knocked to check we were ok after hearing a lot of banging and shouting of "die you b*****d" ...
Also had neighbours knocking when I lived in apartment building and accidentally touched a massive hairy spider while cleaning. That scream was horror material.
Load More Replies...I come into the bedroom because my x wife is screaming blue murder.I am surprised to find her tearing her clothes off... naked she yells spider! True story.
"we've been vacationing in Perth, Australia for the past week and there's a spider in your bra"
Load More Replies...lol wouldn’t me I love spiders lol I’d simply catch it , n put it safely outside , unless it’s cold n wet out then it can stay inside ❤️
Makes So Much Sense
It's wonderful how our brains just turn the piramid into a 3d object. I cannot see it as just 3 coloured pie slices.
Somehow, I saw the pie slices first....I need a nap
Load More Replies...⚆ _ ⚆
I don't think the comment was meant to be malicious. It's "a hell of a deal" as in "it's a great thing" for Earth.
Load More Replies...It should be the norm that there is no trash to clean up.
Load More Replies...But if it inspires just one person to do the same thing, then that's fantastic.
Tip for "trespassing". If you wanna get to that nice beach front but you need to walk through a rich persons property. Bring a bag and collect the plastic on the beach and if they yell at you tell them you're just "cleaning the beach" and throw them a peace sign. ✌️ win win
Plot twist…Pictures are backwards. The bags are all the trash he dumped there for internet points.
Load More Replies...Too bad there's 50,000 other influencers making the trash and destroying s**t
We have a totally underutilized potential workforce of prison inmates who should be doing this 365 days.
Our county used to do that. Until Covid hit. Now our back roads are covered in trash.
Load More Replies...Reddit posts that descend into happy anarchy, Instagram comment streams taken over by in-crowd jokes and sarcasm, and TikTok captions posing the unfiltered, uncensored views of strangers, those find their way into our screenshot folders as well, where they mix with memes, cute animal vids, and breaking news.
I Mean Technically He's Right
From his 20s to 50s my uncle used to print like a typewriter and never capitalized anything.
Mad Lad
It is like the joke "Mom I dont want to go to school!" "You are the school principal..."
Load More Replies...Hah! More likely the math teacher. And we wondered what it was about math class that always put us off a little.
Load More Replies...Sounds Right
At least they sent her to jail. Not for enough time though.
Load More Replies...She was off duty and in her apartment building. She claims to have been confused and gone to the wrong apartment. She was convicted of murder and sentenced to 10 years. Was just denied parole. Civil jury awarded the family of Bothan Jean $100 million which may as well have been $100 trillion because the imprisoned former police officer likely had minimal assets and liability insurance and the 36 cents she makes an hour at the prison isn't going to go very far.
So the penalty for not obeying any random command from the police is déáth? No due process? Sucks to be deaf, then ...
Where you been? Sucks to be young, black, and male, too. Or having a mental crisis. Or in the wrong neighborhood. Or brown.
Load More Replies...The old "I am American, I can shoot whom I please" mantra at work... Maybe just train your police before sending them out? Police training is 29 weeks in Texas, which are mostly spent with shooting training. To compare, e.g. in Germany it is a combined apprencticeship / study encompassing everything from psychology to traffic science, with the mid-level training program typically lasting 2.5 to 3 years, while the dual study program for the higher service typically lasts 3 years and leads to a bachelor's degree. Training to become a police constable in the UK is either a two-year program that combines learning at the training center and practical work, or a three-year degree program (Police Constable Degree Apprenticeship), which includes a university degree and also includes practical experience. The states basically give people a gun and tell them "you are the law now".
20 weeks basic in NZ but that is followed by a 2 year supervised probationary period. And our police don't carry firearms though specialised persons are on call.
Load More Replies...Even life's darker corners on the internet can be treasure troves for shareable moments. A receipt accompanied by a cryptic discount, a calendar reminder informing you of a meeting you never scheduled, or a strangely specific Google Doodle on your birthday calendar, all of these small, random glitches salt our days.
Right In The Feels
A man in France made the news after his wife caught him having s*x with a chicken and obviously reported him to the police. At his trial, he said he was sad she decided to ask for divorce over something like that.
A live chicken, or one from the grocery store? I mean, either way it’s abnormal, my concern is for the chicken if it was alive.
Load More Replies...Duck might be an undercover cop trying to locate creeps.
When You Thought It Was Going To Be A Silent One
Hard to be a tough guy in prison after someone asks "so how'd you get caught?"
Apart from, he's now 'inside' for quite a smell - I mean spell ...
Load More Replies...Reminds me of the true story where the people came home, one of them told a joke and found the burglar when he started laughing.......
Why Was The Egg Banned?
Kinder Surprise: linked to 9 deaths total, for all years and all countries. Guns: 46,000 deaths from firearm injuries ANNUALLY in the US. I swear it's like having laws written by someone who's been kicked in the head by a horse!
Or had a part of their brain shot off and they survived. And bonded with guns because it was the first thing they saw after waking up from being shot.
Load More Replies...I know it's a meme, but it wasn't even funny to begin with. America never thought Kinder eggs were "dangerous", the law just bans food from containing non-edible items. Kinder eggs are a well-known case, but if you're in prison and Ma Dalton brings you a pie with the cell key baked into it, she'll get charged for that too.
I doubt that the key sits in an egg-sized plastic capsule which is a) far bigger than the mouth of a child, b) a hell of a trouble to open, c) sits in a plastic bag and d) the cake has a "only above 3 years and under supervision" sticker blaring in your face.
Load More Replies...And yet pennies are hidden in cakes, and Kinder Joy is not banned, even though the choking hazard is even higher than with the Surprise. The Surprise wrapper has a "only above 3 years and under supervision" sticker blaring in your face. The egg-sized plastic capsule is a) far bigger than the mouth of a child, b) a hell of a trouble to open and c) the toy sits in a plastic bag.
Wait, what? We're supposed to be hiding pennies in cakes? As an American, why was I not informed of this?
Load More Replies...The wrapper has a "only above 3 years and under supervision" sticker blaring in your face. The egg-sized plastic capsule is a) far bigger than the mouth of a child, b) a hell of a trouble to open and the toy sits in a plastic bag. So the "toy hidden in something edible" is by far less dangerous than the penny in your Christmas cake.
Load More Replies...What is it with USians? Always whining about the economy but have $20k in guns.
This is stupid. Yes we have a gun problem and its a f*****g travesty that there are enough members in congress owned by the gun lobby that nothing gets done but dont act like choking hazards for small kids is not real and should be dealt with.
It's peculiar how in most European countries kids are eating them since decades (I was eating them as a kid almost 30 years ago... da*n...) and yet they're not dropping d*ad left and right.
Load More Replies...Rule one of gun safety: Always know whether your gun is loaded. No surprises!
Rule one of gun safety: Don't own the gun, then you don't have to worry if it's loaded. (Rule two: Always assume that gun is loaded.)
Load More Replies...Imperceptibly, screenshots are digital mementos, small fragments of proof that remind us of the tangled, anarchic, and sometimes absurd digital world that we inhabit. They revel in the uncertain interactions and temporary surprises that bring online existence to life, to community, and to ongoing fascination.
This Is So True
And five hours later you can go to bed ;-)
Load More Replies...I offered my organization/decluttering services with great appreciation from customers. My space? An absolute nightmare. It's so much easier to get rid of other people's stuff.
I Can’t Even Begin
His recommended exercise routine for abs is CrossFit.
Load More Replies...Side note. Why do people worship the instrument of his demise? What if we wore sniper rifle necklaces to honor JFK? What a silly world we live in. Can't wait for the afterparty.
Load More Replies...Jesus walked into a motel, put 3 nails on the counter and asked "Can you put me up for the night?".
I’m Never Watching Zootopia The Same Way Again
Never seen the movie… what is actually supposed to be happening in this scene?
I have seen the movie and don’t know what’s happening here.
Load More Replies...*watermelons Having Better Social Life Than Me*
There are lots of copy groups, but Seedless watermelons against Catholics has 24k members
Load More Replies...There are Catholics against seedless watermelons? 😆 I don't know any like that
Is this why churches are against gays? Because a lot of them do not produce a new crop of congregants?
Religion has nothing to do with it, but I absolutely HATE "Seedless" watermelons. They LIE! They still have seeds, but now they're too small to easily spit out, like with classic watermelons. The seeds from these so-called 'seedless' mutants are annoying as h3ll, time-consuming and difficult to dispose of, and completely ruin the watermelon eating experience, and I will d!e on this hill.
Hey Bill, can't you just Swallow the little seeds?
Load More Replies...Anyone else bothered about how the seedless watermelons have seeds in the picture? At least the watermelons against Catholics got their seedlessness right.
I think you misunderstood - the catholics want their watermelons with seeds.
Load More Replies...wtf have the water melons done to catholics lol really , ow I have seen it all 😂
You'd think they would be against the seeded ones...spilling their seeds on the ground and all.
Load More Replies...Not A Ww3 Related Post
Saw a better one where they used elongated plastic bags and they were laying in the tubes. One fan was cooling 4 peeps.
Load More Replies...Ok, that's actually quite excellent. 😄
Load More Replies...fan's air is blown through pants to each persons bed
Load More Replies...10/10 Would Run Around In Circles Again
Must have been a big pillar, otherwise matey could have just turned round and waited...
Guess again. The thing stabbed through the pillar is the dagger. Assassinat...d4f4c0.jpg
Depending on how long ago and what Dad’s parenting type was, the kid probably ran around a pillar or a table to keep from getting spanked or swatted by their father. I was born in 1960, during the era when spanking your children was acceptable, and raised by old school “greatest generation” parents who had four boys before I came along, so that particular scenario is sadly VERY familiar to me.
I've seen this clip with a dog and a chicken. Even they figured it out 🤷♀️
That's When You Know They Have Lost It
I have shown Stilgar (my older dog) photos of himself as a puppy and asked him "Where'd your cute white blaze on your muzzle go? Where'd your cute white tailtip go?! What about your floppy ears? WHAT DID YOU DO WITH THEM ALL?" and then he'll slobber a few licks on my face and wobble off XD He's still cute, but MAN he was an adorable puppy XD stilly_pup...a577ab.jpg
does bringing them to the mirror and asking "who's the pretty Kitty" count??
I had to do that with my cat since when she first saw her reflection she thought it was another cat and started snarling and hissing. I think she understood when she saw me holding her in the mirror and explaining
Like every day. My cat hasn't spoken to me in hours. where is that cat? I need to show her her cute fluffy face again!
One of my dogs used to bark at and try to play with his reflection when he was a puppy; it was so cute 💖
Ah Yes, Cartoons
Oh good grief. I got the joke also. I am sort of weirded out that I know what the second part is.
Oh My God
I've got a nasty feeling I'm going to spend unreasonable amounts of time thinking about this
You can have my share of mulling.I will have forgotten it by the time I tap POST
Load More Replies...This would never work. You wouldn't be able to clench your teeth or grind them when you're angry or upset.
Jokes On Him!
And THAT is *WHY* he's talking $#!t about you! Some people just can't adapt to the weird logic related to Causality in Time Travel!
I’ve never thought about it this way - I wonder what my future self is saying about me rn 😂 “girl is lazy af”
My current self is talking s**t about my past, present and future self, so I guess it's just the status quo...
Jep
only if I know the delivery guy has washed his hands!
Load More Replies...Rather unsanitary unless you—-hear me out—-put it in a fresh clean BOX.
Good. Old. Days
Dude!!! My kids and neighbors kids still do that! Every day. Nostalgic. They're between 4 and 6yo. I feel so content watching them have a electronic free childhood
Anyone who knocks on my door & isn't delivering a parcel I ordered online is getting ignored
I'm not a kid, but my neighbor knocks on my door every day asking if I want something at the store. Does that count?
I don't. I used to get my mum to answer the door and say I was grounded because I didn't want to go out. Not all the time, but often.
Dodgeball, hide and seek, etc., those are great childhood memories........
My partner’s son, 12, has a window that his mates can shout up to, you’ll regularly hear them shouting up to him and then the sound of him skipping down the stairs, next thing you know they are heading out onto the field to sit and jabber away to each other in the den they’ve built or the sight of a young person climbing up a tree. They are living the best life without phones, they’ve even got walkie talkies to talk across the field when they are out and about there. The battery costs are worth every penny.
Imagine A World Where Everyone Was This Generous
I would keep a couple of rolls, just in case water supply is cut... Or maybe you have enough bed sheets?
Even though I live alone, I'll buy the 36-roll packages bc they don't go bad and I know I'll use them. Good thing I stocked up bc my neighbor always asks for a roll every month.
Where's The Lie
It might be a dog taking his spaniel girlfriend out to dinner
Load More Replies...I always respect the camera crew that is filming explorers going up mountains or through jungles because you know they had to go on ahead.
Anti Vaccination
Reminds me of those cough drops or whatever, that are marketed as "CREATED BY A TEACHER!" Yeah, unless that was a pharmacology teacher, that ain't the recommendation you think it is.
In the same pot of stew you could throw in health insurance companies. "Oh, your doctor says you need this medicine/procedure. Nah bruh. We don't think you're going to need that or it's not medically justifiable enough. Try this instead."
In fairness, there were doctors that said smoking was good for you. There were doctors and scientists that said thalidomide was good for pregnant women. Examples could go on but if you remember some of them it helps to understand why some people are skeptical. It is also the reason why you should also go to more than 1 source for information.
The difference here is that science is self-correcting. It is inherent in the method. The thalidomide stuff was proven wrong, unfortunately too late. But it's a better system for gaining knowledge than listening to some idiot with no training in any science on yootoob. As Dara O'Briain once said (Irish comedian if you don't know), "Just because science doesn't know everything doesn't mean you can fill in the gaps with whatever fairy tale that most appeals to you."
Load More Replies...If I ever have to yell "shut up" at a strangers child in public just remember moms "it takes a village".
Really? You don't really get humor much do you?
Load More Replies...What really makes me laugh are these moms who "don't believe in vaccines because they poison children" as they feed their kids McDonald's or go to the doctor to demand antibiotics for a virus.
The BEST is when they check into the ER, say they don't vaccinate for religious reasons and when the clerk later asks if they have a religious preference, they say NO
And those are the mothers who will cry and wail the loudest when their child is in a hospital bed deathly ill hooked up to all sorts of tubes and wires. Guess you were wrong mom.
Aye Tina
6, now XD I'm not Tina and I could probably keep someone in a loop with cat-selfies for quite a while XD
Load More Replies...In all fairness his line of "Want Something To Keep You Satisfied For The Night" probably wasn't gonna work anyhow. His confusion about capitalization wouldn't help either
I’m so genuinely curious how the brains of people who capitalize every first letter of every word work 😂 like bro this isn’t a newspaper headline, why are you doing that, it seems like more work than just typing
Load More Replies...Living In 3019 Be Like:
So Exiting! Im On 4 Seco... *snore*
I downloaded a website (or is it an app??) that has cat purring settings that you can adjust the speed and rhythm. Good night, Irene. https://purrli.com/play.php
Oof
IDK who this man is, so I don't know if he's a child m.o.l.e.s.t.e.r. And I'll bet not one of the many people who've posted this image on their sites or all the people that commented know either. And that means, y'all a bunch of cruel a-holes.
No?
I had that . South London council, me applying for a standard single occupancy rate discount after my husband's death. "Why did the other occupant leave?" - he died. "Are they expected to come back?" - ....
So the council has a thing for necromance. No need to kink shame.
Load More Replies...I remember filling in a form travelling to new York from Dublin, Ireland in the mid 90s . One of the questions went something like do you intend to commit acts of t*******m while in America? I remember thinking who the eff would answer yes to that question , and what would happen to them?
Had this one many many times - it's designed to make sure we are paying attention in surveys
"They Never Credit Their Authors"
But somehow the Professor always gets the credit (and usually the patent rights as well)
History is written by the victors, isn't that the way it goes? And in many cases, the victor was an immoral, unethical person.
Dear Bire
Doxxing
Omg look how triggered the conservatives are 😂 wanna know something satisfying? There’s a big parade in my town this weekend and our local conservative MP - who was caught up in a scandal posting racists stuff to his social media before he was elected - called me up to see if he could borrow a cool vehicle from my work to drive in the parade (I work for a dealership). He’s like “it would be free advertising for you! I’ll give you a shoutout!” It was so satisfying to say no 🥰 we don’t pander to racists, sorry. If he was a polite, kind, non-racist we would have given him a Camaro or something
Load More Replies...Posting the same thing over and over will not make it true. u ok, Aziza?
Blimey, this one blew up. I'm still laughing at a talking stool... Geddit?
Had to look up what it was. Depending of what one doxes.
Load More Replies...Letting The Cat Out Of The Bag
..to be eternally tormented by cats, because that's where they all go, too.
Load More Replies...I'm a dog person, but I wouldn't waste my time downvoting cat posts. Besides, I'm too busy upvoting dog posts.
Not a fan of cats but would NEVER downvote them. Those little critters are cute as heck.
Anyone who doesn't like cats has extremely low self esteem. Cats won't just validate you like your dog will.
Anyone who thinks all dogs validate their human has never owned a livestock guardian breed XD My dog Stilgar is half Kuchi Dog and he has never once given me validation nor acted the sycophant XD
Load More Replies...I can't think of an animal I don't like besides humans. Sure, there are those animals I prefer over others, but I do like them all.
Problem???
Me Too
Ya, but Matthew doesn't have a computer and parents who provide for him; his dad leaves bruises on both him and his mom and he's really pissed about that.
That's So Sad
Save me the seat next to you and notify Multa! That looks exactly like my last greyhound, even the collar... RIP Maxi Boy
Load More Replies...That's because DeSantis made it illegal for Drag Performers to read to kids in libraries - which had been going on for decades, no issues...and none of those concerned people have turned up to fill the void...
And they saw the word “Dog” and thought it said “Drag”. Because they’re 100% they type of person who NEEDS this particular program, as well as vision coverage added to their health insurance.
Load More Replies...Hmmm
Fingers crossed there's a miscarriage. She's obviously not responsible mom material.
Terrortubby
Perfect Fit?
He Do Be Lookin Fresh Doe
Brushy One String. He only needs one string to make an awesome song. It'll get stuck in your head too. Search him on YouTube.
Brushy One String! Check out Chicken in the Corn: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E8H-67ILaqc
Way Too Much Make Up
This isn’t funny or cute at all. Why TF would you want to use a g*****n wrestling move on your girlfriend to slam her face into the bed and potentially hurt her? The possibility of her getting hurt—-broken nose, neck injury, etc—-is absolutely NOT s**y. It’s a*****e, ffs. What an a*****e.
I quite agree, though nobody else seems to think so???
Load More Replies...U First
DO NOT SEND US PHOTOS OF YOUR USELESS JUNK UNLESS ASKED TO!!! FFS, you read that everywhere,. guys. You KNOW you shouldn't. It's just sexual harassment. "Oh, why are women preferring a bear?". This! This is why we do it. Because it's such a small thing to ask, but you idiots doing this think your limp wiener was somehow a great sight. Show it to your mother, see what she says about it.
See, this is another one of those things that I can't freaking figure out. Again, not ONCE have I ever been told that sending unsolicited d**k pics is advisable. WHERE THE F**K DO THESE STRATEGIES KEEP COMING FROM!? It's never NOT made fun of. When someone wants to see the tiny little malformed soldier manning your barracks, they'll ask.
Load More Replies...Yup, unsolicited d**k pics are a surefire way to get laid. Absolutely. Totally... not
I really believe unsolicited d*ck pics should be considered sexual a*****t
Why did this ever become a thing? It's called 'junk' for a reason, so keep it to yourself unless expressly asked for.
Not Taking The Snacks
Before This It Was Probably 16 Hour Shift, 6 Days A Week, And The Workers Were Paid In Bread Loafes
It was good he did that for his workers but he was still a s**t person
Also raised his worker's pay so his employees could actually, you know, afford to *buy* the cars they were building. Just saw an article a few days ago that the current head of Ford was 'taking a page from the founder's book' and raising wages. It's a start. Ford was like most people - a mix of good and bad. He was $h!tty in many ways, but in this case, he was on the right side.
We should boo him, did you see the racist stuff he published and spread, especially about jews, admired Hitler, he originally only hired black people as Janitors until he was politically forced in Michigan to hire them in other roles, etc. Also the work week thing was a Union negotiated contract at his unionized plants, so he just made it across the board to remove the incentive for the other plants to Unionize. Samuel Gompers played more of a role in this than Ford
iirc 6 day work weeks were common with much longer hours
Load More Replies...Still he was good friend (and supporter) with certain German mustache-man
The One They All Fear
"I will not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little death that brings oblivion ...."
"That brings total obliteration" actually. (I'm so sorry.)
Load More Replies...Yup. My computer knows to unfreeze as soon as I open Task Manager. I never have to actually use it.
Oops I Forgot My Bad
I think you might die if you injected insulin intravenously, but I mean, if you're gonna mix it with heroine ANYWAYS...
Load More Replies...No, just make sure you’re not using the keys that are in the ignition.
Load More Replies...Honestly, I wouldn't have been surprised if the guy caught after a car chase in Melbourne last week was shooting up while driving. He crashed into multiple cars and objects, was missing parts of his car, and finally decided to jump out the driver's window, where he was hit by a police car and arrested! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xIr2UP_-UaU&ab_channel=7NEWSAustralia
-62kg
*FEW* people in America will understand this. Some of us are scientifically literate.
Load More Replies...Surface Gravity on Mars is roughly .3 G, so an infant massing 5 KG will weigh about 1.5 KG on Mars.
My Two Favorite Comments For The Same Post: Reddit In Summary
People don't half get annoyed if you paint the wrong one though
Load More Replies...Being A Lawyer Has Its Perks
Hmm. I suspect most of the autobots wouldn't be put off by this. May try it anyway.
Autobots wouldn’t do this. It’s more Decepticon thing.
Load More Replies...The Perfect Alignment Of These Posts
I miss the days when, every spring, I would take a walk around the DC Tidal Basin during peak Cherry Blossom time. Oh, well, I got boatloads of pictures, and did a full video one year.
One of my favorite things. There are so many cherry blossoms everywhere in the area though you can't miss them. I just wished they lasted longer!
Load More Replies...Well
Now Get Ready For
when working in an office, this is the absolute best for summer so I don't freeze to death at my desk after boiling to death outside.
You too? We're more bundled up in the summer at my office than in winter. Have to undress to go outside.
Load More Replies...Ok But Who Won
Coming right after the toilet roll picture, that was not a felicitous thought
Load More Replies...My Boyfriend Likes To Send Me Memes, Normally Stolen From Reddit. This One Was Badly Timed
Crazy Commenter Pfp
Title?
It is not even completely absurd. This applies to extreme nicotine addicts, to which a fast withdrawal could actually be more dangerous for the mother as well as for the child as the rduced cigarette quantities. It only is a very special case, once again showcasing that AI doesn not really have an eye for context.
It’s 1000000% absurd, Scout. There is nothing that supports your point anywhere on earth. In fact, if you took a second and googled this, you’d find out this is a fake AI response post.
Load More Replies...I googled it. No such AI response came up. Actually none came up for that query.
Lisa's Theory Is Right
"A"? By definition, there are an infinite number of occurrences of the '69420' sequence in Pi.
69 = hehehehe. 420 = reference to smoking weed.
Load More Replies...Ah, The Irony
This is how languages evolve. If enough people do it, the spelling of the word will change, and eventually shity will be the correct spelling by the laws of common usage. lol
Load More Replies...Nice
Why are there more planes in the 6? Seems like the formation would be way easier if it was 9 planes like the 9.
Well, one of then did, the other couldn't see fsr
Load More Replies...Well Well
Big Brain Time
Where Can I Find Top Quality Dog Content?
Self Burn
paul and matthew!! they're two gay guys and paul is blind :)
Load More Replies...Literally Wtf Is Going On
Oof
Biplanes Can’t Melt Steel Beams
And Hitler not being able to invade England in 1940 ...
Load More Replies...Yes
Well, it's a sure bet he ain't packin' a Super Soaker!
Load More Replies...During
Had to google it. I mean I had to google "waffelstampen meaning"! Bruh!!! wtf?!? Probably enough Internet for today... 😑
Load More Replies...Its More Funny When Its Late, Try It
It Couldn’t Be More Perfect
Well This Happened While I Was Trying To Screenshot A Funny Meme To My Meme Bank
I Really Dont Get What My Boyfriend Is Saying. I Dont Get The Joke
I can't believe they're still together after all the shït that's gone between them
I'm trying to think of Bored Panda as a training ground for cryptographers
Load More Replies...Twas Indeed
People threw their phones against walls because they lost in flappy bird.
White Knights Airborne Cavalry Unit
Taxes, Not Texas…
That Went From Penthouse To The Big House In Less Than A Day
Now This Is Epic
I'm Willing To Bet The 12 Yo Posted The Bottom Post
I have also seen it said that the use of correct capitalisation and punctuation in texts is considered by Gen-Z to be passive-aggressive.
Well, they are illiterate idiots, now, aren't they?
Load More Replies...I mean, to be fair, the thumbs up is an offensive gesture in Middle Eastern countries and some parts of Italy.
I will be sure to keep that in mind when I move there. In the meantime, when do *we* get to dictate how *they* communicate? Turnabout is fair play.
Load More Replies...My Friends Aren’t Cool
These Two Posts Appeared Next To Each Other
Best Achievement Of My Life, I Saw A .02 And I Spent 30 Minutes Beating It
This Guy Wanted Me To Pay A $60 Application Fee, Before He Told Me Where The Apartment He Has Was
What A Time To Be Alive
Before musk turned into a total c**t, you mean?
Load More Replies...Loonies + Toonies?
Hey, at least it's just our money that's loonies and toonies and not our politicians, unlike *some* countries I could name.
It's called a loonie because they have the loon (a type of bird) on their currency. Distinguishes it from US currency
Found On R/Dankmemes
I'm beginning to suspect that not everything on the Internet is necessarily completely true ...
Yes it is! And the football men can totally hear me through my TV.
Load More Replies...I've been really struggling lately with depression and mental health. I'm taking medical leave starting next week to do ketamine therapy. I'm feeling nervous and hopeful. And these were nice.
Hope things get better for you. I'll look forward for your comments and will upvote them when I see them :-)
Load More Replies...I've been really struggling lately with depression and mental health. I'm taking medical leave starting next week to do ketamine therapy. I'm feeling nervous and hopeful. And these were nice.
Hope things get better for you. I'll look forward for your comments and will upvote them when I see them :-)
Load More Replies...
