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People Are Sharing “Hard To Swallow Pills” About Relationships, And Here Are 30 Harsh But True Ones
It’s easy to give relationship advice; following it, however, can be a real nightmare because one wrong move can lead to heartache and heartbreak. But whatever your stance about relationships, two things are for sure—they’re a lot of work and we have a lot of illusions about love.
The members of the r/AskReddit community shared their hard-to-swallow pills about relationships in a candid thread started up by user AsontiRelay. The thread, which got 38.7k upvotes and a whopping 7.7k comments, might just give you a fresh (and more honest) perspective on romance. As you’re scrolling down, upvote the answers that you agree with and be sure to share your own perspective below.
Harsh truths that lead to better communication? Emotional opinions that are too cynical? It's up to you to decide, dear Pandas.
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Bored Panda spoke about romance, dating, and what to do if somebody is sitting on the fence about breaking up with relationship expert Dan Bacon, the founder of The Modern Man. According to Dan, what a person ought to do if they’re in such a situation is unique for everyone.
However, Dan suggested that if you’re considering breaking up with someone to analyze what the reasons behind this might be. “It really depends on why you are on the fence about breaking up. If you’re temporarily feeling that way after a fight, or a problem that occurred in the relationship [or if] you feel that way all the time, or very often.”
Spread the word. Your ominous silence may look powerful to you, but in fact it's annoying. If you got something to say, say it. Don't expect other people to read your mind.
According to dating expert Dan, there’s absolutely no need to break up with your significant other, girlfriend, or boyfriend if your feelings about going your separate ways are temporary. In short: if the problem can be resolved, it’s best not to take any rash decisions.
In fact, there’s a silver lining to having disagreements with the person you love (or, let’s be honest, the person who you might fall in love with in the future). Solving problems, both small and big, can benefit the relationship! Overcoming hardships and challenges can lead to greater intimacy in the future.
I agree, I know I can be, especially since I have anger problems and am a reactive person. I am working on it.
Exactly. Having time apart is healthy for a relationship.
“You need to understand that overcoming problems together as a couple can make you closer, stronger, and more committed if you approach it correctly,” relationship expert Dan told Bored Panda in an interview.
If you have to control them and make sure they don't cheat.... find someone else. Or accept an open relationship and quit calling it cheating. Loyalty is implied, not optional, unless otherwise discussed. If the relationship stops working, then maybe grow up a little and accept its end before either of you reaches the cheating part.
You will never find that perfect partner that does nothing annoying. I have behaviours and quirks that are annoying to my hubby and vice versa.
According to the expert, when both people in a couple are supportive of each other, they both grow from the experience. What’s more, there has to be a certain amount of trust between both people: you need to trust that your partner has good intentions, even if you’ve recently been arguing.
However, things are different if you constantly think about breaking up or if you’re always feeling horrible after spending time with your partner. That’s when you need to consider the fact that this person might not be your soulmate and might need to move on. However hard that might be.
“If wanting to break up is a feeling that you have all the time, or very often, then that person isn’t the one for you,” relationship expert Dan explained. In his opinion, good relationships have to be unambiguous—if you’re flip-flopping between radically different feelings toward your partner on a regular basis, there might be something off.
I still have times where I get all fluttery when I look at my hubby.
“When a couple love each other and truly want to be with each other for life, they won’t be on the fence about it,” Dan said. “It will be as clear as day for them that they want to be with each other and no-one else, so breaking up won’t even seem like an option to them.”
This is so true. I always said i would never date a short guy.. After 4 years of getting played by what i though my ''type'' was I finally found someone that appreciates me and guess what his average height. Sometime we miss out on something amazing because of our own prejudices.
The relationship expert continued: “It will almost seem laughable because they know they wouldn’t want to be with anyone else as much as they want to be with each other.” In other words, a strong couple is one that doesn’t entertain the idea of leaving one another over some minor disagreements.
“If they happen to have an argument or experience a problem in the relationship, they might temporarily feel a bit annoyed at each other, but they’ll both be willing to fix it, grow and make the relationship better from then on,” Dan said.
“That’s what the happiest, most in love couples do,” he added.
And it's how the screw-ups are dealt with that's important. You can learn a lot about someone by how they act in the difficult times.
I was right person, wrong time with my partner. We met like 7 years before we reconnected and started dating.
What about you, dear Pandas? What hard-to-swallow truths about relationships would you like to share with us? What’s the best advice about love and romance you’ve ever heard? We can’t wait to hear what you think, so write up a comment and post it below!
Putting off ending things for the fear of the other person hurting you (physically) is the worst possible idea.
10000% if your not in love then separate before jumping to the next person. NO excuse for cheating.
Shouldn't go into a relationship with a goal to change the person. You should appreciate them and love them for who they are. Only the individual can change themselves if they choose, no one else can do it for them.
No, there are no hard-and-fast guarantees, and sometimes things will come up that you have not planned for. But I think it is important to get the "big conversations" sorted early on, for example, do you both want kids or not. You don't want to end up disagreeing over something like that once you've already committed to each other, IMO.
Yes, I had this one and didn't realise. Constant feeling in the pit of my stomach and couldn't put my finger on why. Took me awhile to figure out exactly where the problem was. But my SO was nowhere near as committed to a relationship as I was and would change plans/bail at the last minute constantly - always with a 'very good reason' But eventually it just didn't sit right and I had to end it..
I'm not sure I'm understanding this one correctly... Are they disputing that soulmates exist, or saying that you should wait to meet someone who IS your soulmate and not settle for someone who you "just get along with" ?
I wholeheartedly agree, and that is just one reason why I think no sex before marriage is a terrible idea.
But this is the same throughout life, no? Friends have arguments, families fall out, work is not sunshine and roses every single day, even if you love your job. I don't know why people would think that relationships are any different. After all, most people probably spend more overall hours with their partners than with their friends/parents/siblings/colleagues, etc. There's bound to be the odd difficult phase.
This is so true. The two of you should make the rules for your relationship and no one else has to understand or agree with them.
I expect my partner to grow and change constantly or the entire point of my relationship would be fully lost. The whole point is to grow together.
Lol yeah a big fight can definitely happen even in the best of times. Someone else here keeps saying “it’s all how you deal with it” (sorry can’t remember who). I agree with them tho
Anyone who believes they should be happy 24/7 needs a lot of therapy. To be honest, most people could do with a bit of therapy.
I can’t believe this is at the bottom but I also can. Because so so so many people give up when they argue. Like commitment doesn’t exist. I’m glad I’m not that way.
I disagree, it may happen to some but I have not had a crush since I started dating my hubby over 18 years ago.
Nobody needs to value it but you and your partner! The happier you are together, the more suspicious and jealous people will be anyway.
I feel like they are using this meme incorrectly on a lot of these. Many are life advise, not things that are hard to accept.
Hard pill to swallow: I was his new toy. I gave him my heart and soul. I became broken (accident). I am still broken and he threw me away with the trash.
You have my deepest heartfelt condolence/compassion/sympathy.
Load More Replies...It's like "relationships for dummies" in memes, but the thing is.... everyone is a dummy to some extent, at some point, in some way. *raises hand* Guilty here, I know. ...
Apparently I needed this today. Recent breakup. I miss him dearly, but it just wasn't working
Sending you a big virtual hug. Me and my ex broke up a long time ago, and I wish I'd seen this then.
Load More Replies...It took me forever to realize that I was in a relationship that was toxic. "Love" can really screw you up. Any time I wanted some alone time or indulge in my own hobbies, I'd get the whining " you don't want me there. you don't love me enough." RUN as fast as you can. I eventually just walked away. Best thing I ever did. I'm not saying it was easy to walk away. There was a part of me that still 'loved' him, but if you cannot be yourself in a relationship, it's definitely time to walk away
I'm glad that you walked away from that toxic relationship, MiniMaus. I know how difficult it can be to find the inner strength to leave someone that isn't good for you especially when you care deeply for them.
Load More Replies...So this post is just about some general life quotes that you can find browsing on fb or instagram...So deeeep
Perhaps not all that deeeeep, but at some point people need to hear they again. We forget that being in a great relationship is not only about love and pretty flowers
Load More Replies...I feel like they are using this meme incorrectly on a lot of these. Many are life advise, not things that are hard to accept.
Hard pill to swallow: I was his new toy. I gave him my heart and soul. I became broken (accident). I am still broken and he threw me away with the trash.
You have my deepest heartfelt condolence/compassion/sympathy.
Load More Replies...It's like "relationships for dummies" in memes, but the thing is.... everyone is a dummy to some extent, at some point, in some way. *raises hand* Guilty here, I know. ...
Apparently I needed this today. Recent breakup. I miss him dearly, but it just wasn't working
Sending you a big virtual hug. Me and my ex broke up a long time ago, and I wish I'd seen this then.
Load More Replies...It took me forever to realize that I was in a relationship that was toxic. "Love" can really screw you up. Any time I wanted some alone time or indulge in my own hobbies, I'd get the whining " you don't want me there. you don't love me enough." RUN as fast as you can. I eventually just walked away. Best thing I ever did. I'm not saying it was easy to walk away. There was a part of me that still 'loved' him, but if you cannot be yourself in a relationship, it's definitely time to walk away
I'm glad that you walked away from that toxic relationship, MiniMaus. I know how difficult it can be to find the inner strength to leave someone that isn't good for you especially when you care deeply for them.
Load More Replies...So this post is just about some general life quotes that you can find browsing on fb or instagram...So deeeep
Perhaps not all that deeeeep, but at some point people need to hear they again. We forget that being in a great relationship is not only about love and pretty flowers
Load More Replies...