People Are Sharing “Hard To Swallow Pills” About Relationships, And Here Are 30 Harsh But True Ones

Or a family member.

Yep. The very worst thing you can do to fix a relationship is to have kids. Think you're arguing a lot now? Think again.

So much this

Spread the word. Your ominous silence may look powerful to you, but in fact it's annoying. If you got something to say, say it. Don't expect other people to read your mind.

I agree with this partially... sometimes having a partner means you don't have to deal with all your emotional s**t. Half the reason we go to therapy is just to talk, not get advice but to get things off your chest, and good partners do that for each other

Even more so when you have kids.

Especially when they decided to stop trusting you for something you really didn't do, but they firmly believe you did. Been there. It's as bizarre as it sounds.

I agree, I know I can be, especially since I have anger problems and am a reactive person. I am working on it.

Exactly. Having time apart is healthy for a relationship.

If you have to control them and make sure they don't cheat.... find someone else. Or accept an open relationship and quit calling it cheating. Loyalty is implied, not optional, unless otherwise discussed. If the relationship stops working, then maybe grow up a little and accept its end before either of you reaches the cheating part.

You will never find that perfect partner that does nothing annoying. I have behaviours and quirks that are annoying to my hubby and vice versa.

I think someone confused love with passion/desire.

And remember - it has to be mutual.

Yup I stayed with narcissistic ex way past that relationship's expiration date.

I don't see how this is a hard truth. It's simply the truth. We all need help sometimes, and we need to lean on someone. Sometimes it's good to be given that trust to support someone.

Yes

This might be the hardest truth. If the feeling isn't there, it isn't there, no matter how good of a person you both are.

My ex-boyfriend and I fell out of love with one another. It was certainly no picnic when the resentment started to build up.

I still have times where I get all fluttery when I look at my hubby.

Neither is verbal or emotional abuse.

In my case, he's even better now, than I could ever imagine. I would've never picked someone like him.

AMEN

Communication IS the key to comprehension though. The whole "oh you wouldn't understand" trope has probably broken more relationships than we can count.

This is so true. I always said i would never date a short guy.. After 4 years of getting played by what i though my ''type'' was I finally found someone that appreciates me and guess what his average height. Sometime we miss out on something amazing because of our own prejudices.

If anything relationships are going to make managing a mental illness more complicated. Yes you have added support now, but you also have added stress.

This is 100% true.

And it's how the screw-ups are dealt with that's important. You can learn a lot about someone by how they act in the difficult times.

I was right person, wrong time with my partner. We met like 7 years before we reconnected and started dating.

Truth

Putting off ending things for the fear of the other person hurting you (physically) is the worst possible idea.

Very much true.

10000% if your not in love then separate before jumping to the next person. NO excuse for cheating.

Shouldn't go into a relationship with a goal to change the person. You should appreciate them and love them for who they are. Only the individual can change themselves if they choose, no one else can do it for them.

No, there are no hard-and-fast guarantees, and sometimes things will come up that you have not planned for. But I think it is important to get the "big conversations" sorted early on, for example, do you both want kids or not. You don't want to end up disagreeing over something like that once you've already committed to each other, IMO.

Love is an action, as much as an emotion

Yes, I had this one and didn't realise. Constant feeling in the pit of my stomach and couldn't put my finger on why. Took me awhile to figure out exactly where the problem was. But my SO was nowhere near as committed to a relationship as I was and would change plans/bail at the last minute constantly - always with a 'very good reason' But eventually it just didn't sit right and I had to end it..

I'm not sure I'm understanding this one correctly... Are they disputing that soulmates exist, or saying that you should wait to meet someone who IS your soulmate and not settle for someone who you "just get along with" ?

I wholeheartedly agree, and that is just one reason why I think no sex before marriage is a terrible idea.

But this is the same throughout life, no? Friends have arguments, families fall out, work is not sunshine and roses every single day, even if you love your job. I don't know why people would think that relationships are any different. After all, most people probably spend more overall hours with their partners than with their friends/parents/siblings/colleagues, etc. There's bound to be the odd difficult phase.

It takes two people to make it work, takes two to make it fail. You might feel like you could have done better but so could they. Don't take the blame onto yourself fully, half of it's theirs'

And then its how you deal with the situation after, that really matters.

This is so true. The two of you should make the rules for your relationship and no one else has to understand or agree with them.

I got my cat before I met him so that would never be an issue.

I expect my partner to grow and change constantly or the entire point of my relationship would be fully lost. The whole point is to grow together.

Unless you work in cryogenics

Lol yeah a big fight can definitely happen even in the best of times. Someone else here keeps saying “it’s all how you deal with it” (sorry can’t remember who). I agree with them tho

I prefer the "normal" moments of having dinner together or watching tv/ gaming in the sofa.

Maybe not fatter, but there will be some physical changes.

Disagree with this. Love doesnt just stop overnight for no reason. If you think it did, then you haven't been listening or paying enough attention to your relationship.

Anyone who believes they should be happy 24/7 needs a lot of therapy. To be honest, most people could do with a bit of therapy.

Also be aware that dry spells can happen. Mental and physical health will affect your sex activity. If you arent willing to go through that you shouldnt commit

I can’t believe this is at the bottom but I also can. Because so so so many people give up when they argue. Like commitment doesn’t exist. I’m glad I’m not that way.

Shouldn't that be 24/7/52?

Funny and sad and true all in one.

Thats terrible. Like when you arent your best friends best friend :(

Yeah. I hate the trope in sitcoms where the husband buys a very expensive item (usually a car) without consulting his wife. It might be his money but now you are a team and this thungs should be spoken.

I disagree, it may happen to some but I have not had a crush since I started dating my hubby over 18 years ago.

The word you’re looking for is hypocrites.

Nope. In a good healthy relationship it's going to be better, much better.

Nobody needs to value it but you and your partner! The happier you are together, the more suspicious and jealous people will be anyway.

Not necessarily. Why should someone need to settle if they don't want to? Not everyone wants a long term relationship in their life and that's okay as long as you're transparent about it with potential partners.

I don't think this would have been the case for us. We'd both decided to give up on the dating scene and accepted that we'd be alone.

Surely then, you were not perfect for each other?