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29 Times Men Slept With Married Women And Things Took Rather Unexpected Turns
Interview With Expert
While cheating often makes for entertaining storylines in media, in reality, it's way less fun and usually just heartbreaking.
Today, let's shine a light on stories of men who slept with women who were married to someone else: why they did it, what happened after, and things like that. Along with that, let's also briefly discuss why people choose to cheat at all. After all, it's not something you do without a reason. Or is it?
More info: Reddit
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Her husband called my phone. I had no idea she was married. He had just gotten home from Afghanistan. I apologized with everything I had in me. I truly didn't know. She had just broken up with a guy i worked with. He told me it was okay. I wasn't the first guy. He had known about her having affairs for a while. He just wanted to know if she was living with me so he could send divorce papers. I told him my address, waited until she was served, and ended the relationship.
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#2
Went on vacation to the beach in my mid 20's with my friends. We met this group of women there that were in town for a wedding. Ended up hanging out with them all night. The one girl and I started making out at the bar and ended up going back to her hotel room.
The next night was the wedding and they left the day after. Me and this girl texted though and she revealed to me that she's married and has kids. She was saying her husband doesn't give her enough attention at home and stuff. I ended up blocking.
Even though I had no idea I felt scummy. Also I was disgusted with her. Cheating is scummy.
#3
Never saw or spoke to her again.
We met via Tinder many years ago, had drinks, back to her place, slept with each other, then as I was leaving expressed interest to see her again to which she told me she couldn’t because her and her husband had a rule they only slept with people once. I s**t you not. And she didn’t tell me she was married until I was leaving.
While some marriages are completely healthy, with both parties happily involved in the relationship, sadly, not all are like this. This kind of toxicity might manifest in plenty of ways, from emotional closedness to infidelity. Today, we’re going to focus on the latter.
As you likely already saw, this list is made up of stories coming from men who slept with women who were married, but to someone else. All of these confessions came from a Reddit thread that was popular enough a few months ago to get over 1K responses. All of these responses made us wonder – why do people cheat in relationships? So, we delved into this topic a little deeper.
Well, as with basically everything else in life, infidelity can also have a variety of causes. In fact, it can even be categorized based on whether it originates from the person themselves or the relationship they’re cheating on.
#4
Got severely depressed when I realized I *was the other man*.
#5
Her husband found the messages between us on her iCloud account contacted me around 2am or 3am calling my phone. So I answered and he said “ You do know so and so is married right!? I am her husband” so I replied back well she told me she was single plus I met her on a dating app so that’s between you two. Long story short I cut it off she tried to explain the situation and I’m like talk to your dude not me I was here for a good time not a long time.
#6
First one: She was legally married, but separated. We had been friends, tried dating, neither of us got what we needed out of a relationship, so we went back to being friends. She never got back together with her first husband, nowadays she's married to somebody else.
Second one: I was friends with a polyamorous couple, and the husband was ok if his wife and I started sleeping together. Apparently she had been crushing on me for a while, but I was dating somebody else monogamously before her and she wasn't going to disrespect that relationship. After we started sleeping together, I got way too attached, I started getting a little jealous, and so I broke it off. It didn't hurt our friendship, though we have since drifted apart.
The former category includes causes like dependence – whether it’s alcohol, other substances, gambling, or anything else. It can push the person to cross a line of fidelity, especially if it pushes them to a critical mental or physical state. Various mental disorders or other psychological problems can also influence a person to cheat.
Childhood trauma and exposure to infidelity at a young age can play a part in adultery too, as it’s proven that people who experienced something like that tend to be cheaters more often than those who didn’t.
Then, the relationship they’re cheating on can also carry some problems that lead them to make such a poor decision. As an example, we can take codependent relationships that can be a cause for unfaithfulness.
#7
Met a nurse on tinder. I pick her up at...her parents house? A guy answers the door. I assume it was her brother. We hook up at mine. I drop her off.
2nd date. She hands a baby (her baby brother?) to the guy who answered the first time I picked her up. She gets in my vehicle and I made a joke about the large age gap between her baby brother and her and her older brother. That's when she tells me it's her baby and her husband. They are separated, but he lives with her parents to provide childcare while she works and he figures what to do with his life.
This was a fling for me, but it got weird early on when she was asleep and he was fake texting me from her phone trying to break it off. He was clearly not over her yet. I ended it when I met another nurse with less drama.
#8
He was in jail. I found out when I asked, if the big a** last name tatted on her lower back, was her mom’s maiden last name (which wouldn’t have been odd, us Mexicans use both last names). Turned out it was his last name lmao.
#9
My friend's car was shot up (with him inside it).
All the shots missed, but I think it was more the husband making a point.
In an interview with Bored Panda, therapist Chenglu Ding at A Better Life Therapy, M.S.Ed., M.Phil.Ed., named several signs that signal that a relationship is codependent.
For example, one of the involved parties constantly needs to put the other’s needs first. It can go so far as them becoming self-neglectful: “Over time, this imbalance can lead to emotional exhaustion, anxiety, or even depression. The person may also begin to feel quietly resentful, realizing they give so much but rarely feel seen, appreciated, or emotionally fulfilled.”
Lack of boundaries is another sign of such a relationship, which sometimes gets referred to as enmeshment – when people get so involved with each other that it’s excessive.
#10
Met her on Tinder and didn't know she was married initially. She was married with kids and her husband had no idea what she was doing.
It largely started out as a physical relationship and went on for a little over a month. I eventually shut it down after I found out. Not the first married woman I encountered in the dating world either. Some were doing it with their partners knowledge, some were not.
#11
It was after a very bad heart break. I was rejected by a woman because I was a virgin at the time. So I did what the pain told me to do. Lost it, and gained whatever experience I could. Pertaining to the question, it was someone that had an open marriage, and I thought it would be OK.
That's when I realized that my conscious isn't just tied to what others are OK with. It's also got to do with what I think is right. It was the last fling I had. It opened my eyes to what I was doing, and made me feel quite stupid. But it also taught me that's what pain does, it makes people do stupid things.
Amanda Reinstatler 7 months ago
Very insightful to realize that you value your own opinion more than the opinions of others. The emotional intelligence gained from that experience made it worth it imo.
#12
Fell in love with her, she with me. She stayed married. I met the husband and kids. They didn’t know I was anything other than a friend. Help her husband build a race car. Met her parents. Met his parents. After a couple years they had a big bbq, all their friends and family. Big lots of photos with all the friend groups, families and all that. I wasn’t in 1 photo for the day. Realised I didn’t belong there outside of being with her. Broke up. Took 12 mths to get my s**t back together.
Fear of abandonment is a sign too. Codependency often lies in a fear of being alone, so a person starts clinging to the other just to avoid it, even if the relationship is unfulfilling or even harmful.
M.S.Ed., M.Phil.Ed. Chenglu Ding didn’t forget to mention that low self-esteem is not only a sign but a root cause for such relationships as well: “Codependent relationship patterns are often rooted in low self-esteem and an intense need for external validation."
She added: "Many people who exhibit codependent behaviors struggle with feeling ‘not good enough’ internally, so they look to their partner and the relationship to define their worth.”
So, as you can see, codependent relationships are far from healthy. And the thing about a toxic relationship is that it wears a person out. As our interviewee pointed out, over time, a person in a codependent relationship can start feeling overly anxious, depressed, or even angry towards their partner.
#13
Met her at the bar (didn't know she was married). Slept with her. Woke up and she introduced me to her husband. I felt like supreme s**t, and also like he could have k****d me in my sleep if they were into that sort of thing.
No more random bar hook-ups for me, after that.
#14
She didn't f*****g tell me until like 3 weeks in. Then she said she's married but separated. Then another week she began to ask me about having kids and moving in together which creeped me out even more. Until eventually I ghosted her.
#15
She lied to me and told me she was single. Turned out she had a husband who was 30 years older and was living abroad for work. As soon as I found out I ended things.
So, in some cases, such feelings can manifest in infidelity, whether it’s to break free from the toxic dynamic, to look for their own identity outside of the relationship, or even a way to hurt their partner. Of course, not every such relationship ends with unfaithfulness, but some might.
And codependency is only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to problems within relationships that cause infidelity. We just wanted to shine a light on this one, since due to its essence, some might think it’s safe from such an act – but it’s not.
Granted, we don’t justify cheating in any form – even if a relationship you are in is unhealthy, there are other ways to find a way out, more moral ones. But, well, people wouldn’t be people if they didn’t push moral boundaries, would they?
#16
She told me her husband didn't want to have s*x with her anymore but that she couldn't leave him for the kids. Later she told me she was the one who didn't want to have s*x anymore with him, and that she didn't knew why he was staying. I left after that. I was okay with the former but not with the latter.
#17
Not much, it was a one off during a night out. I was on a walking trip with some friends and I met her at a local club.
She never mentioned it until after we finished and she left my room telling me she had to get back to her family.
#18
I hooked up with a girl that became super obsessive it was a one and done and could not wait for her to go away.
A year and a half later I was told just Facebook (which I don’t have) marketplace. And I was trying to buy a couch. Her name came up and I clicked on it curious. It was her selling her dead husbands couch and house because she needed money.
It said on Facebook, “married 6 years. I felt bad for that guy.
#19
In my late 20's, I was a s**t for a group of married office women on Wednesday nights. They politely took turns with me, mostly quickies. A few visited me on weekends
I was safe, was never going to fall in love with them, discreet, and believed I was saving their marriage rather than ruining it.
It was all fun and games until I found bullet holes in my car.
Amanda Reinstatler 7 months ago
Really.....you "believed you were saving their marriages...." That's big of you
#20
I got back together with the woman i was seeing before I had kids. She told me she wasn't exactly single at first, and eventually admitted that she was married but was going to divorce the dude. I didn't really care either way to be completely honest. I always saw that woman as my wife, but our timing was just never there. The relationship was too stressful and I started to notice it affecting me in my friendships, my ability to be present with my kids, and I stopped taking care of myself. I didn't like who I was, or what I was doing to someone else's family, so I broke it off and told her to do what she could to repair her marriage before it was too late. Haven't heard from her since.
Brian Droste 7 months ago (edited)
Maybe she fixed her marriage like you suggested and that is why you never heard from her again.
#21
Met her at work. I was a fresh 18 year old and she was in her late 30's. We became friends pretty quick. We'd flirt here and there while at work, texted back and forth once in awhile, and were basically just good friends. She invited me to have a drink with her and her husband one night and we just sat and talked. Hung out a lot that summer.
Then college started up, had to quit work to focus on studies. Had a 2 hour long break between classes on some days and she invited me to hang out at her place instead of finding something to do at campus or making the drive home and back (about 30 min 1 way.) Her kids were in school and her husband and work whenever I'd show up and, eventually, one thing led to another. Young, inexperienced me had a great time. She knew what she was doing and showed me some things that I'm still into to this day.
She always insisted that her husband knew about me and didn't mind. Then, one day, her husband came home early and, even though I thought I was in the clear, the dread set in immediately. Started freaking out and looking for a way out. Turns out he really did know about me and just wanted in on the fun. Was weird at first but got used to it. Was a pretty fun first year of college. Unfortunately, I ended up dropping out of college and moving away but I still keep in touch with her.
Good times.
Sathe Wesker 7 months ago
Hey man, if everything is consensual and everyone is in equal agreement, why the hell not?
#22
Slept with one co-worker only at work, quickies only. She told me she was seperated and had to get her kids. Broke it off because she wanted to get serious but found out she was still living with husband and he was oblivious. After that she was resentful and work was difficult but I guess she said good things as another co-worker invited me out to drinks. I would go to her house after her kids were asleep. Found out she was seperated and ex husband lived across the street! She was using me to make him jealous and they ended up getting back together.
#23
We had s*x before i knew they were married. I traveled for work and it happened quite a lot. Definitely gave me trust issues seeing how often it happened and how often they were in a seemingly happy marriage .
#24
They lived in the apartment on top of me, the husband worked night shifts, we ended hooking up and one night after we had s*x in HER apartment I went out to meet up with my friends and the husband got home earlier with flowers in his hands.....
I ended the thing the next day and promised myself never to do that to another man ever plus if I had lasted 5 more minutes he would had caught us f*****g and I was not willing to lose my life over some afair.
#25
She told me at the start, and I was cool with it. It was mainly just an online hookup, so I didn't mind that it would never be anything serious. Eventually, she ghosted and I never heard from her again...but we still had some fun times. I've fooled around with a few other married women as well; it's surprising how often married people (of both genders) will enter into affairs and not tell their spouse.
And yes, I know it's immoral and all that...but we were both consenting adults, and I was never that great with morality anyway.
Mother of Giants 7 months ago
"I was never that great with morality anyway". He sounds like every girls *dream* man.....Not!
#26
Not exactly married but I slept with a woman who was on her Hens night and had been encouraged by her friends to "get one last one in" before marriage.
We never exchanged contact details so I'm not sure if she actually got married in the end. It was so blatant, photos were being taken of us snogging, I'm sure someone would have spilled the beans.
#27
Married women at work. We were both managers so lots of nights alone. Played the “my husband doesn’t pay attention to me after I had kids.” I wasn’t in a good place in life so I went along with it. She really enjoyed having me in her house and laying in bed on her husband’s side. She had lots of strange kinks and wants.
It helped me a lot get to a better part of my life. It made me realize if this woman was ready to destroy her marriage/life for me, I must be worth something in this world.
Catlady6000 7 months ago (edited)
You were a d***o with a warm body attached, so far as she was concerned, that was your worth to her
#28
I went through a home wrecker phase where I almost exclusively slept with married women.
Nothing crazy really happened aside from one of them asking if it was alright if her husband sat in in the corner and watched.
Most of them were in open marriages or in marriages that were falling apart so I lied to myself that it was "ok" to do it.
I have no problems with being a bull or anything where the husband is aware and ok with it, but I wish I hadn't been the guy married women used to cheat on their husbands behind their backs with.
Live and learn I suppose. I wouldn't do the latter anymore and I haven't for years now.
Sathe Wesker 7 months ago
Someone damaged him to put him into that phase, I think… glad to read the end of it and the self awareness
#29
She was my best friends wife, she got us both drunk. He passed out, she tucked him in bed and came back to seduce me, which she succeeded in. Lost my best friend over that wench.
Amanda Reinstatler 7 months ago
So thats all it took to just throw that best friend away......d@mn.
Explore more of these tags
What do you think ?
Ellinor 7 months ago (edited)
I have ZERO sympathy for all the ones who knew. (and less than zero for all the married women)
Major Harris 7 months ago
you would be amazed how over on buzzfeed, that when ever this comes up, it is ALWAYS the man's fault in the comments. they had an article exactly like this, and one comment, "men are all scum" when most of the examples were men not knowing she was married. either way, cheating is WRONG! people, please communicate with your partners.
Ellinor 7 months ago (edited)
I have ZERO sympathy for all the ones who knew. (and less than zero for all the married women)
Major Harris 7 months ago
you would be amazed how over on buzzfeed, that when ever this comes up, it is ALWAYS the man's fault in the comments. they had an article exactly like this, and one comment, "men are all scum" when most of the examples were men not knowing she was married. either way, cheating is WRONG! people, please communicate with your partners.
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