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Some people might go to extreme lengths to keep up a lie. Whether it’s a case of innocent deception or covering for something more serious, it might be too late to take it back. Or too shameful to reveal the truth.
Members of the 'Ask Reddit' community shared their best stories of people trying to uphold their lies. We have gathered some of the most amusing or shocking examples here for you to enjoy. They might remind you why you shouldn't lie in the first place. Or prove how difficult it can be trying to get out of the web you’ve created.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
One time in high school soon after I got my license but didn't have a car yet my mom let me take her mini van for a night to a friend's house. I told my mom it was a regular sleepover but it was actually a house party I was going to. On my way of pulling out of my own driveway I hit the garbage can with my mom's sideview mirror and it shattered into pieces and fell clean off. I didn't want to go back inside and risk her being upset and telling me I couldn't go to the party so I just picked up the pieces off the driveway, threw them in the front seat, and took off to the party. I had a good night of fun and woke up so hungover I had forgotten that I even crashed the car beforehand. When I walked outside to the van I broke down in hungover tears of shame and anxiety. I hopped in the car and parked in a Barnes and noble parking lot and just cried and tried to think of a game plan. I must have still been a little buzzed cause going home without a bogus story was overwhelmingly out of my scope of reasoning. I noticed a plow truck drive by in the snow and BINGO. With real tears and panic in my voice I called my mom from the parking lot and told her that as I was inside Barnes and Noble that morning (I never even went inside) a plow truck must have hit her sideview mirror with it's plow and I didn't know what to do, sob sob, cry cry whatever. My mom told me to pick up the pieces and come home. I came home a hot mess, smelling of alcohol, headache, red eyes from no sleep and dirty with the stench of lies. My mom played like she felt bad for me and said "hop back in the car, we will go to the police station and report the accident. They probably had camera that caught the whole thing." I felt like I was going to throw up as I stared the officer in the eyes and told him (half drunk still) this bogus, over the top, story I made up. He told me how making up lies like this could get me in trouble and said he would call back when the camera footage came back. I didn't sleep for like a week. I was terrified. Nothing ever happened from the ordeal and life went on and the car got fixed. Yearssss later I told my mom the truth and she laughed and said she saw the whole thing happen in live time and told the police officer ahead of time what was going on. She told him to play along and scare me... Lesson learned.
Spocks's Mom 2 years ago
Being a mom myself, I can definitely say this is true.
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LovingKnuckle 2 years ago (edited)
The mirror shattered after hitting a garbage can? Was this thing like a Ford Windstar or are your garbage cans made out of vibranium?
Barbara Skolly 2 years ago
Omg we had a "Nostar" when I was a teenager too, what a piece of junk
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You Should Do Nothing with the Fence 2 years ago
"...and dirty with the stench of lies." Poetry.
J 2 years ago
I got caught up in the story and didn’t catch this line. Poetry indeed! Love it. Thanks for pointing it out.
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Mickysixxx 2 years ago
Sometimes it's best to just let mum scream at you, this is what happens when you give her time to plot a revenge lol
RELATED:
#2
Not me but when I started as a newspaper journalist 20 years ago our leader writer was a man called Edward.
I only found out when he retired after 45 years with the paper that his name wasn’t Edward at all. When he started aged 16 one of the paper’s owners showed him round and had misheard his name.
He was too nervous to correct the owner so he went by the wrong name for nearly 50 years. His real name is Dudley.
Biana Weatherford 2 years ago
My FIL was called Pete. His second wife actually had that on their joint checking account. When he started at his long time job, there was already a Thomas, so he got called Pete. And that's that.
#3
My partner and I pretended to be vegetarian for 10 years to avoid her aunt’s awful cooking. By the end we were actually vegetarian.
Ches Yamada 2 years ago
Sadly it looks like a trip to the ER for me (raw tomato allergy lol)
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Lakota Wolf 2 years ago
I'm not sure I'm overall comfortable with the implications of using the phrase "Good for you!" on a story like this. What are you trying to say? Good on OP for lying for 10 years? Good on them for eventually actually becoming vegetarian? That implies that NOT being a vegetarian is a bad thing, if one is being praised for becoming one. I personally don't think we should judge peoples' dietary choices (i.e., vegetarianism/veganism or lack thereof). Feels a bit holier-than-thou. That's just my feels and thoughts, though :)
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Allison B 2 years ago
Not a vegetarian, and honestly don't want to be. However I have no problem with people who are. Unless they try and push it in my face or try to shame me for eating meat. Sadly for some reason almost all vegetarians I've met do that. I guess I have really bad luck.
Hobby Hopper 2 years ago
It's just that the nice, non-judgemental ones don't tell you they're vegetarian. I guess unless you're specifically asking everyone you meet?
Load More Replies... #4
I didn't want to go to a neighbor's party, but they could see my car, so I drove to a town 40 minutes away just to have an excuse not to go.
Heffalump 2 years ago
That's a lot of trouble to go to when you could just feign illness. Just describe your symptoms in WAAAY too much detail, and then hear the relief in their voices when you tell them that because of this you won't be able to come.
Powerful Katrinka 2 years ago
The phrase "suppurating boils" works like a charm.
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martin734 2 years ago
I think this is perfectly reasonable. I have a very simple rule for social engagements, if I can't bring my dogs, I'm not going.
Roland Nijveld 2 years ago
Some people here have problems telling the truth. Do you like it yourself if people come with stupid excuses? Just be honest
Sonja 2 years ago
No one comes to me with stupid excuses because they no I can take a no in stride. But many people can't and will hassle you or take it as rejection of their person. And if you're such a person, people will lie to you eventually
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#5
My entire family thinks I met my husband online on discord. I actually met him during a threesome.
Marcellus II 2 years ago
HOW?! I'm assuming you met him somehow THEN the threesome started? Or did you accidentally bump into a couple, joined, and took half of it for yourself?
Monday 2 years ago
"and took half of it for yourself"...that was the hardest I've laughed in a long while, thank you Marcellus II
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Wang Zhuang 2 years ago
Yeah, they don't need to know all that. But what an interesting way to meet a mate.
Rider 2 years ago
Same, well almost. The threesome was the third time we met. And I told my family the truth, would've been hard to explain dating his wife too if I didn't.
#6
I once worked in a smallish and pretty casual office. There was a park nearby where I'd go for a walk at lunch and sometimes I'd sit in the grass and do a few stretches before heading back. Well one day I guess a decent amount of leaves had gotten stuck to my long sweater, I went to the bathroom when I got back and a handful fell on the stall floor without my awareness. Not too long after, someone comes out wondering who would put a pile of leaves in the bathroom and why. It blew up very quickly and spread around the office. I knew it had to be me. Being the "outdoorsy person" I was questioned a few times. At the time I was very shy with a back corner desk where I'd pop in headphones and do my editing work, I definitely did not want attention so I denied it and acted clueless when asked, thinking it'd end with the day. It did not. The next day, my manager was greeted by a small pile of leaves on their desk in the morning. It became a war, it went on for weeks. I was too deep to admit the truth now. Leaves on desks, leaves dropped on heads, leaves stuck to the backs of shirts. It finally culminated on Halloween when TWO women from different departments came in dressed as piles of leaves. I never said a word!
#7
I've spent more than eight years in the same residence.
My neighbours are quite welcoming. Every time they see me go outside, they say hello, especially the wife. Every time, she'll wave, say, "Hi, Rebecca!" and flash a wide smile.
Rebecca is not my name. At this time, it would be too awkward to fix. I simply had to take responsibility for it.
Phobrek 2 years ago
I was bringing my trash out, stopped to look at the moon. Next door neighbor (15' separates our houses) had brought his out. He waved. He smiled. He asked me, "just move in?" We've lived next to each other for 22 years. Best buds!
Stannous Flouride 2 years ago
Anonymity makes better neighbors than fences.
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third molar 2 years ago
We liked our neighbor Dan and he was very friendly. We even had his number saved as Dan and wished Dan on xmas or Halloween. It was two years before we learned dan is actually his dog's name and he was probably too embarrassed to correct us
Lord Mysticlaw 2 years ago
Omg we have this with a neighbour. Somehow someone misheard his name when he just moved in and everyone started calling him by the wrong name. At some point his "very confused" wife corrected people. Now everyone knows his real name and calls him by his real name to his face, but when talking about him everyone still uses the wrong name out of habit.
Rob Miles 2 years ago
The wife and I sold our first house, the one where we'd lived for 22 years, a couple years ago. I was talking to the neighbor on one side of us about Maxine, the neighbor on the other side (both had been neighbors the entire 22 years). First neighbor said "Oh, her name is actually Francine, by the way." "How the heck have I been calling her Maxine for 22 years and nobody told me?!" "She didn't think it was that important and didn't want to make it awkward." Please trust me on this, no matter how awkward you think it would be to correct her now, it will be worse for her the longer it goes. If you can be good-natured about it and laugh it off, it will be a lot better for both of you.
Reviewer UK01 2 years ago
Every year we get a Christmas card from next door with both of our names wrong. Mine is a small error, my husband not so small. So every year we send a card back with our actual names and the house number, just to make sure they know it's us. And next year we will do it all again. Same even if we send our cards out first. 22 years and counting.
Jill Pulcifer 2 years ago
All of the employees of a gas station I frequent call me Ann, Ann is not my name. One time one of them called me Ann and I didn't correct her, as it just didn't seem important. 7 years later, everyone there calls me Ann and im in way too deep to correct them now.
deejak 2 years ago
...until that one time you have to go inside to pay by card and they see the name on the card and call the police...
Load More Replies... Spannidandoolar 2 years ago
We have this, my husband's name is Alan according to one neighbour
Debrina Blackmoon 2 years ago (edited)
Regina Phalange, friend of Ken Adams. :)
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Keilana Ferenczy 2 years ago
My name is Keilana, but my eighth grade Geometry teacher would always call me "Kellena." I never corrected her
#8
I had surgery for something that wasn’t even an issue.
When I was in middle school I enjoyed faking being sick so I was able to skip school, especially if that meant my parents were at work and I was all alone. I was able to make hot chocolate and play video games all day. It was a great time.
At the time I didn’t think much about the excuses I used, so most of the time it was just “sore throat”.
After having used that excuse several times over the period of a year my parents finally took me to the doctor to have my throat looked at. They did find one of my tonsils was noticeably larger than the other one and figured this could have been the cause of my issues. So they suggested surgically removing it. I was around 10 years old so I didn’t realize what surgery really was so I didn’t come clean.
A few weeks later I was on the surgical table.
To this day I haven’t told my parents about it. I’m 26.
On the positive side I was ordered to stay home from school for 14 days after the surgery and the doctor told me to eat lots of ice cream. So it was a win for me, I guess.
Lia 2 years ago
Ice cream is a win, but skipping school isn't as good. I hate school too, so can't say I blame them...
Adam L 2 years ago
Not to be a downer, but what if there were complications, they can happen even on "simple" surgeries...
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Alex Martin 2 years ago
I *HATED* middle school. In the sixth grade we moved and I went from a sequestered krelboyne gifted classroom to a much rougher wrong side of the railroad tracks middle school. There was so much bullying and I was in a good dozen fights in a year. Mom left for work before I did so I would "accidentally" miss the bus a lot, at least once a week. I'd stay home and play Zelda or read. She eventually called the principal and he drove over to my house and took me to school and I told him about all the bullying and fights. I stopped missing the bus and two months later he had to call my mom and tell her I had been knocked unconscious and was having a seizure after one of his students punched me without warning and I fell to the ground and hit my head. If you get a serious concussion and some mild brain damage, they don't mind if you stay home for a week. My step-dad got a lawyer involved and most of the bullying stopped.
Jennlyn 2 years ago
I'm so incredibly sorry that you had to go through that.
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Penelope Orange 2 years ago
Something similar happened to me. I experienced a lot of trauma as a child and as a result I had anxiety and childhood depression. (Still struggle with it but take meds now). Anyway, this was in the 70's when those things weren't recognized. There were many, many times I just couldn't handle a day in school, my stomach hurt. As an adult I can identify it as anxiety in the pit of my stomach but I didn't know how to articulate it as a child other than "my stomach hurts". Mom always let me stay home alone all day but got concerned with the frequency and took me to the doctor. The diagnosis was tonsilitis and fluid from them draining into my stomach causing discomfort. My throat never hurt and it wasn't that kind of pain. But, I had to have my tonsils taken out. And it sucked. I couldn't even eat ice cream because I was in so my pain from the surgery and it didn't make my stomach stop hurting.
zak 2 years ago
Ha, I used to fake being sick all the time too. Actually, I still do it, but now it's at work instead of school. I have sick days and you can bet your butt I'm using every single one of em. I remember several times, as a kid, chugging a glass of salt water (or milk mixed with mustard) before school to make myself throw up, so my Mom would let me stay home lol.
Jerrica Coyle 2 years ago
We had our daughter in for her yearly check up and the doctor said her tonsils were a little swollen. My brother had his taken out when he was a little older than my daughter is now. I mentioned this and learned that apparently it is now very rare to have your tonsils removed.
Kawazoe 2 years ago
I had social anxiety and undiagnosed depression so school felt awful everyday, I never seemed to fit in anywhere. On seventh grade I started having migraines so it felt easy to pretend sick, though I did force myself to vomit to make it seem more real. At ninth grade depression got so bad I didn't go to school anymore.
#9
Met my wife on one of those telephone chat dating things in the 90's. Basically, before OKCupid, you would sign up for a voicemail and describe yourself. We connected and went out but were both embarrassed for using it. Fast forward 18 years, we continue to tell everyone we met in the music section at Borders.
SnackbarKaat 2 years ago
My hb and I met trough an internet chatroom and we told my parents and our friends we met in a pub. We still tell that lie to new friends even tho meeting a partner online isn't an issue anymore nowadays
Miranda Veracruz de la Joya Cardenal 2 years ago
It was a weird shift in the late 2000's when online dating stopped being something to be ashamed of.
Hamsini darshan 2 years ago
My husband send me a friend request wrongly in orkut instead of his friend. Me and his friend have a same name. We found out we both are in same village. At that time he was in Italy. I was in native. Our love developed in orkut chat. We married after 4 yrs. This is our 14th anniversary. We tell everyone we met in our village.
Dean Bernales 2 years ago
I met my wife on Match in 2005 before it was cool/normal to meet on a dating site. We didn't tell anybody for over 10 years.
Aunt Shorty 2 years ago
My husband and I met while opening a new Borders store. I worked in the music department, and he worked in the video section. We celebrated our 28th wedding anniversary two weeks ago.
#10
My mom is white and blonde, my stepdad is italian and I'm black and look exactly like my father. Walking around with them in public attracted a look of confused looks, one time I caught a dude looking and told him I was adopted from Africa. Some of my friends heard it and they all believed me instantly. I managed to keep that lie for 2 weeks, in the process I had to keep learning and making comments about Africa during conversations to appear sincere.
LoneTomato 2 years ago
I'm sorry but what is happening with that rogue bit of hair in the picture? It's literally not connected to her hands or anything. Unless.... it's magic?
Saxophone 2 years ago
Maybe a strand is caught on her ring and floating that way?
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princess paulie 2 years ago
wait, so is her dad black? i'm a bit confused... cause honey if he isn't i have some news for you...
White Sauce Hot Sauce 2 years ago
Mother and stepdad are white. OP's bio dad is black.
Load More Replies... #11
So it was sophomore year of high school, I took 1 class of basic 3D modeling as an elective. Keep in mind BASIC my models were bad but what are going to expect from a 16 y/o. A little later I was playing on a Minecraft pixelmon server (Pokémon in Minecraft) where I made friends with the owner and became a moderator. The owner of the server was also on the development team of the mod and he asked in the discord if anyone has any 3D modeling experience, I said I did (not a lie), he asked me if I could fix a current model he had that was giving him issues so I said sure (again basic, me moving the model was a miracle) but I looked up a bunch of tutorials and forcibly taught my self how to model. Over the course of the next year and a half I kept teaching my self and learning and I'd say I got pretty good at 3D modeling, and for a brief stint (before I left the project) I became the head 3D artist of the whole project and made decent money)
Mage (sever owner and dev of the mod) if you are seeing this, sorry for the lie, and thanks for the opportunity's
Heffalump 2 years ago
This is everyone in every technical job. If you've ever been in in the building when something was done you 'played a pivotal role', then once you have the job, it's the company's product/systems you say you're unfamiliar with while you overload google and cram every night.
J 2 years ago
Facts!! I’m in this boat right now. They pay us because we know how to learn fast, not because we already know everything.
Load More Replies... Lord Mysticlaw 2 years ago
Fake it till you make it. Thats what I do for the first six months of a new job too.
Stannous Flouride 2 years ago
Most cooks who work their way up from the bottom have learned to exaggerate their skills as a way to advance to another level in a new job. Can't count the number of times I told a new chef or manager, "We did something similar at my old job but why don't you show me how YOU want it done?" I think mostly they knew but didn't care as long you did it their way.
JustinTime 2 years ago
Even people who are professionals in their fields (if they’re honest) admit they have to figure things out as they go.
#12
It's a long story but if you ever see me around my grandparents please refer to me as *Doctor* TallEnoughJones
Kitty 🥀 2 years ago
I checked the original Reddit post and they didn’t follow up. They just dropped this enticing mystery and slipped back out. I need to know!
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Michael Perez 2 years ago
Must be from Texas where " Too tall " Jones was a great football player for the Dallas Cowboys.
David 2 years ago
If it is in a casual setting it is a bit of a tell that you would want to be called "Doctor". Human beings talking as friends in casual situations usually just use their names, not their college degree / board titles.
Hugo Santos 2 years ago
Unless you live in Austria. They write their titles on the ID...
Load More Replies... #13
My brother got away with one for 15 years because he doesn’t like cats.
Ex-SIL: “I’ve always loved cats but he’s allergic”
Mom: “no he’s not”
Brother: “c**p!”
That Bi Book Lover 2 years ago (edited)
I wonder why she’s an ex… Edit so that I don’t get downvoted into oblivion: /j
Jesus Ortiz 2 years ago
I weirdly became mildly allergic to them shortly after my 21st b-day. Which is good, I never really liked them, I've always been a dog person. It sucks visiting my parent's house though. They rescued/adopted one, and I can only be there for like 3 days max. I won't make them get rid of their cat though. They love her, she loves them, and who am I to step in between? (Besides, she's been with them for almost 10 years).
Auntriarch 2 years ago
If I visit cat owning friends I just take antihistamines.
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Gabe Royer 2 years ago
It's so sad that you have to pretend to be allergic to cats so pet lovers don't hate you. Is it not ok to just not be a fan of pets?
#14
When I was a kid, I came home from school. But mom wasn't home yet and the backdoor was locked and I didn't have a key. I got a little mad and kicked the door. Of course that piece of s**t broke down. I freaked out: if mom sees this, she's gonna [take me out]. But then I came up with a plan.
We lived next to a forest so I go into forest look for the biggest, heaviest branch I could find. I pulled that f****r out of woods and I gently put into the the gaping hole in the door. Looked totally legit.
Then mom came home. She took one look at it and slapped me in the face.
Little L 2 years ago
Why did he do that? To pretend that a branch had fallen on the door? Was there a tree nearby? Also: totally NOT ok to slap anyone!! Especially a kid!!
digitalin 2 years ago
The slap kind of explains why the kid tried to lie, though.
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#15
I used to sit in my car for hours a day to act like I went out. I was too scared of my parents to tell them I dropped out of college. I eventually got a job and used that as a cover until I had enough to move out.
R 2 years ago (edited)
Aaaw that’s horrible. Poor human that had to grow up in a such dysfunctional family. One shouldn’t be afraid of one’s parents. They are supposed to be the safest place in the world. No matter if you are a small child or older
Rowan_the_raging_raven 2 years ago
Wait you aren't supposed to be afraid of your parents??
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Roland Nijveld 2 years ago
Everyone assuming he had abusing parents.. It can also mean he has just too much anxiety for confrontation
ILoveMySon 2 years ago (edited)
TODAY, my son told me he had numbness in his fingers from anxiety his Freshman year of college. He never told me as he didn't want me to worry. WHAT? That's my role as mother. A deep conversation rectified the matter. It broke my heart to learn this as we have always had open communication, or so I thought.
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Rens 2 years ago
I used to pretend I was going to shifts to get away from my abusive ex. He was too busy playing on his computer to check up on me. I used to go out in my uniform, drive to a nice quiet spot and read books, nap and just enjoy the peace.
ILoveMySon 2 years ago
Ex being the key word here. I hope you are well now.
Load More Replies... Wang Zhuang 2 years ago
That person is just making the situation worse. It will eventually come out that they didn't graduate.
Bryn 2 years ago (edited)
My first semester of college was a really big change from high school, and I wasn't ready for it. I ended up skipping many of my classes by going to the local library and hanging out there until a reasonable amount of time had passed and I could go home.
Bryn 2 years ago
I was able to go on a reduced schedule the next semester, which really helped.
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Katarzyna Drozd 2 years ago (edited)
Well, how messed up is that that some of us are just lucky to have good parents and others start life on level hard already... It's crazy how much it determines our lifes, good thing that therapy exist
#16
In my early 20s, I worked as an in home caretaker of the elderly. When I was first hired with the company, I was sent to a lot of one-day jobs, like if the client’s regular caregiver was unavailable I would go fill in and then never see them again.
Being a young lady, they ALL would ask me if I was in college, which I wasn’t. I was a college dropout. And soon I got sick of the disapproving faces of these seniors whenever I would answer that I was not in school.
One day, I arrived to another client who was new to me. Sweet older couple. They asked me, as they all did, if I was in school. I was convinced I would never see these guys again, as was true for every client of mine up to this point, so I just answered yes I’m in nursing school.
I ended up being their regular caregiver for over two years. They often asked me how school was going. My best friend was actually in nursing school, so I always just parroted whatever she told me she was learning lol.
Vanessa Richardson 2 years ago
Whew, there for a second I thought this was gonna turn into them wanting to pay her tuition or something! Glad that wasn’t the case. Lol
#17
TL;DR: My grandma stubbornly lied about her age for over 70 years.
My grandmother was always incredibly vague about when she was born, how old she was when she came to the USA, how old she was when she was married, etc. Even her birthday was vague: In the old country (Eastern Europe) birthdays weren't such a big deal, so her parents chose an approximate birthday for her visa. (NB: Her parents chose Jan 15, which later became MLK day. She was pretty racist, so we'd always mess with her on her birthday by wishing her a happy MLK day.)
Anyway, on one of her birthdays she said to my mom "You know, you don't think of yourself as old, and then you get to be my age, and you have to admit it - you're old!"
My mom thought this was a strange thing to say for someone she thought was turning 77.
"Mom, how old *are* you?"
"How old do you *think* I am?"
"Now I think you're 80."
My grandmother did not confirm or deny my mother's guess.
Years later, when my grandfather died, we cleaned out his desk and found her old passport. Indeed, we found out that she came to this country in 1921 and lied about her age ever since.
In fact, she kept it up with everyone outside the family. She moved to an assisted living facility closer to my immediate family when she was in her mid-90s and never told anyone at the facility her age. Every month the kitchen would bring out a cake for people with a birthday that month - the oldest person with a birthday that month got to blow out the candles. They would ask "Who has a birthday this month?" A lot of hands would go up.
"Who has a birthday this month and is over 80?" A couple of hands would go down.
"Over 85?" A few more hands would go down.
"Over 90?" A bunch more hands lost.
Et cetera. My grandma? She never raised her hand.
We blew her cover with a 100th birthday party. Even her hairdresser had no idea.
She died at 103, outliving her cardiologist (who was 40+ years her junior) by six years.
She also lied about making gefilte fish. Then one day my mom found a jar of store-bought gefilte fish hidden in the laundry room behind boxes of detergent. When my mom brought up the jar and silently pointed to it, grandma exclaimed, "You never noticed!"
Ansi 2 years ago
My old grandfather was born at home as all children during that time. When the parents "registred" his birth with the local priest he misheared them (his parents) and put my grandfathers birthday as the 3rd instead of the 23rd. So for the rest of my grandfathers life, all official papers he got from doctors, goverment, drivers license and so on had his birthday as the 3rd. Not a big deal, but it was a little weird. 😊
Ross Shaw 2 years ago
My grandmother was born in December 1914, but her birth certificate wasn't completed until January 1915. The clerk had '15 on their mind and put down the wrong year. It wasn't an issue until she first tried to collect her Social Security and the government said she still had another year to wait-took Dad quite a while to help her get it straightened out.
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Carlos 2 years ago
So your mom was confused at why a 77yr old might think they're getting old ? Dude I'm not even 30 and I already see my birthday as just a reminder of how much closer I am from death
KBT 2 years ago
No they just meant its a weird thing to say about a non-milestone birthday. Almost nobody thinks about how old they are when they tun 26 but when people turn 30 almost all of them think about how this is a new step in their life
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Karl Baxter 2 years ago
Never understood the point of lying about your age. It’s not like you can do anything about it and denial just looks vain and stupid.
Clown fish 2 years ago (edited)
I've ended up with a spelt wrong last name because of WW2 army papers miss print and it has stuck through 5 generations. Edit it turns out my Great Grandad liked his friend's last name better than his own and changed 2 letters of his own last name at the age of 20 he was an only child and both parents had died when he was 15 so he had been taken in by his friends family. I don't know why it's been kept secret. So I've uncovered my Great grandad tuck on his friends family name and now we all have the name
MichelleDonut 2 years ago
Your family has spawned 6 generations since the 1940s? My family has only managed 3: Boomer born in 1947 had a Gen X kid in 1966, who had a Millennial kid in 1999. Still waiting to see if we're kaput.
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Michael Largey 2 years ago
“How old would you be if you didn't know how old you were?” - Satchel Paige (attributed)
Biana Weatherford 2 years ago
My grandmother always said she was 99. Every year. If you called her on it, she would say "Guess I must be 100 then". I think I want to be a grandma like that.
Lorraine R 2 years ago
A teenager had a project to interview the oldest person in her neighborhood, who was 100 years old. Teenager: "Wow, what's it like to be 100?" Centenarian: "Oh, not much different from 99."
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Niamh Gallagher Kerr 2 years ago
My granny was always 21+VAT. It wasn't until she was in her last 70s that we discovered her actual age as she went into hospital for a checkup and my mother checked her records. We were able to throw her a surprise 80th as she didn't know we knew 🤣🤣She was a fantastic woman who still lived at home until her death at 98 on the 24/12/2020. Unfortunately thanks to covid I wasn't able to make her funeral.
Makajha Banjjjak 2 years ago
In which 'old country' in Eastern Europe birthdays are not a thing??
#18
When I was eight, I was a chatterbox and one day, I ended up getting detention because I wouldn't stop talking or whatever so I get this "detention notice" slip that must be signed by a parent or guardian and returned the next day. My little Machiavellian mind quickly made up a scheme. I went home and I told my parents that I wanted to make my own signature, so I asked to see how my parents did theirs. I practiced my mother's signature until I was comfortable and then I forged the slip. My teacher didn't catch the forgery, and I got away with it lol. I'm still super proud of that little psycho 🤣
AliJanx 2 years ago
impressive! I had my mother's signature down to perfection. Never used it nefariously, only to sign forms that I forgot to get her to sign.
Biofish23 2 years ago
My mom had super neat writing and usually signed things so the teachers knew her writing. Dad's was messy and rarely signed anything. Therefore if I ever needed to fake a signature I'd go for my dad's. One teacher questioned it once, but it was for something pretty inconsequential, I stuck with my story and she let it go.
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Cassidy Moore 2 years ago
When I was in high school I got into sluffing my least favorite class with friends. Problem was my stepmonster would get a call saying what periods I missed and I would get beat. So I forged a note pretending to be her changing the phone number to my friends phone number.
HelluvaHedgehogAlien 2 years ago
My mother hated signing slips because it’s annoying, and just told me to ‘just sign’ her name there. My counterfeit signature is immaculate 😂
unfilteredCigarette73 2 years ago (edited)
I could forge my dad's signature just about perfect and it definitely got me out of trouble a few times lol
Miriam Gwynn 2 years ago
I could never forge my mom’s signature but I had really good cursive and could make it look really different depending on what I was trying to do. I forgot to bring a lot of class disclosures home so I would just sign my mom’s name differently than I did my assignments and make sure I signed all the papers for those classes. Never got caught.
Fish Fingers 2 years ago
My friends mum couldn't read or write, so it was accepted by the school that any forms or notes would be written by herself with her mum just signing her name on the bottom.
Jennifer Lynn 1 year ago
I got a write-up in 5th grade for reading during class, forged my Mom's signature, as far as I know they still don't know and I'm almost 39!
Huddo's sister 2 years ago
My mum has the same initial as me, so when my sister was in school I signed the majority of her permission forms with my own signature and no one ever picked up on it. I did it because my mum would forget or not have time to do it, whereas I would be the one emptying my sister's bag each day (we now know mum has adhd).
Jean Jacket 2 years ago
I had permission to forge my mom's signature as long as i told her about it. Did it a few times :D
#19
I was 16 or 17 at the time. Didn’t want to go into work (I was a cashier at a grocery store). Called there before my shift and said “sorry I can’t come into work. I was out drinking in the woods last night and when the cops showed up we ran. I tripped and broke both of my arms.”
Boss says ok fine whatever. A few hours later an executive from work calls me and says I can miss work but I need to come down and show them my arms (obviously not believing me).
Well, my mom was at work as a nurse in the ER. I called her and asked if she could get me some casts. She obliges and my buddy and I drive over to the hospital to pick them up.
Head back to the house and begin forming the casts around both wrists/forearms. Let them harden and then grab some markers and have my siblings write things like get well soon on the casts. Head down to the grocery store to show my broken arms to the bosses and they had no reason to doubt at that time.
Went home, cut the casts off and didn’t go back to work for a few weeks. I don’t even remember why I didn’t want to go into work but it was probably just so I could stay home playing Xbox 360 with my friend
Carlos 2 years ago
Out of all of the excuses there are for missing work, you really went with "I broke BOTH of my arms while running away from cops" seriously ?
Bunny 2 years ago
Right?! Except for maybe if he had only broken one arm, they would think he could still use the good arm to ring groceries. Lol.
Load More Replies... msminnie 2 years ago
Sorry but I kind of doubt anyone could walk out of their workplace with the materials to make 2 casts. I call BS.
Lia 2 years ago
That is pretty smart, unfortunately, I wouldn't be able to do it, I have a teacher for a mom. :(
Monday 2 years ago
She could bring you a pencil to stick in your eye?....though I fear that would leave permanent damage.
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Mommy Panda 2 years ago
Not a very wise parent, to teach your kids it's ok to lie and actually cooperate in a lie
Kaniwani 2 years ago
Maybe she didn't know the reason why he needed them. He just said that he asked for the items to make the cast. I remember my friend used them to work on a project at school.
Load More Replies... FloydtheBarber 2 years ago
Demanding you come in and show your broken arms. F**k bosses. Pisses me off even though it was a lie lol
Leeza Martinez 2 years ago
don't try to become an author. This is an obvious story of untruths
#20
I didn't want to come to work one day, so I called and said someone stole my car so I couldn't make it. Then for the next two weeks I had to take the bus and walk 3 miles from the bus stop to my job, and after those two weeks I had my drivers' side window rolled down and taped clear plastic over the window to appear that someone had broken into it, so I could further show that the car had been stolen. In retrospect it probably wasn't worth all the trouble.
Tim 2 years ago
In the US, many employers will not believe you when you claim to be sick and will ask you for a doctor's note.
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#21
I once burnt chocolate chip cookies I was making for a baby shower. In a last ditch effort, I picked up two dozen cookies from McDonald's. My plan wasn't to mention anything to anyone, but one of our close friends was asking about the recipe and I said it was a McDonald's copycat recipe I found on Pinterest. I quickly found a recipe I'd never tried before and shared it with her. My husband jumped on board and supported me, even though he knew the truth. He even promised to never tell a soul about the McDonald's cookies. It's been about three years now and nothing ever came of it, but it's one lie that he and I joke about every so often.
B 2 years ago
About 10 years ago when my son was in college he had a fund raiser & I made my cheesecake brownies. The local TV station interviewed him because they were the first thing to sell out, he made up an entire story about how he came up the recipe on the fly when he realized he did not have graham crackers to make a cheese cake crust. To this day he has never baked a thing in his life & we always joke about this. If someone asks me to make them I say I have to call him for the recipe
mandy the capibara 2 years ago (edited)
Not gonna lie, these cheesecake brownies sound amazing. Also like the most unhealthy thing ever invented, but amazing
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Osprey 2 years ago
I bought peanut butter no bakes from that big blue store and when someone asked if I made them I guess I was distracted because I said that I did. I thought why did I say that? I don't like to lie and that was a dumb reason so I tracked her down and had a little awkward moment where I explained that I had bought the cookies and didn't mean to say that I made them. She didn't really care but I was relieved to not have a lie out there lurking.
deejak 2 years ago
Because for many boys, admitting mommy helped them is embarrassing.
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Huddo's sister 2 years ago
I'm guessing the cookies at McDonald's there aren't the same as the ones we had in Australia, which were shaped like the children's characters Grimace etc...
#22
None of my family knows how I met my wife. They think I met her in California through a friend out there when I was in the military. We actually met on Tumblr.
We've been married almost 10 years.
Lord Mysticlaw 2 years ago
Oh the irony. One couple met in a threesome and lie and say they met on discord. Another couple actually met on tumblr but thought up a lie to cover up *gasp* tumblr.
GoddessOfChaos 2 years ago
I mean Tumblr does seem like a really weird website if you’re unfamiliar with it. In fact it still seems like a really weird website even after using it for years! Sincerely, a Tumblr user
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RagDollLali 2 years ago
This reminds me of the aita where the bride kept pressuring the groom to lie in his speech about how they met. Instead of admitting they metal and dating app, she wanted him to make up an elaborate story about how she was a waitress at a coffee shop and he saw her and fell in love immediately and begged her to date him.
#23
My husband told everyone he had cancer. Then a few years later said it returned. After he said it returned, I found out it wasn't true either time. I have kept his secret from everyone. Everyone we know believes he is a cancer survivor. The stress of it is killing me. My throat burns 24/7 from stomach acid and I'm pretty sure I have an ulcer. I have isolated myself from everyone I know. Gave up social media except Reddit because it's anonymous. The only people I see now are 2 family members and my therapist. On top of it, he left me and is off living his life.
Nicola Roberts 2 years ago
I used to live with a pathological liar. He was a fun guy but stories would be embellished or completely made up. In time people would look to me to find the truth, and I told them usually with a 'but' or a 'however' to soften the blow. I understand while you were with the guy because of the reflection on you, whether it's justified or not. But, for the love of all things sacred why on earth would you keep the secret after he left you????
Adam L 2 years ago
I would have ratted him out because now OP's social life is failing while he's using his lie to benefit himself
Spocks's Mom 2 years ago
Yes! I would have outted AND left him at the same time. What a chode.
Load More Replies... Lia 2 years ago
That guy is despicable. Some people are really suffering, and he is literally lying about a potentially fatal thing?
Leah Brown 2 years ago
Check out OP's user name... They need to KEEP seeing that therapist!
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BetterBitterButter 2 years ago
Who lies about something like this? This is wrong for his family, friends and people who actually survived cancer!
Apps 2 years ago
How horrific! OP, I hope you recognize that there is no reason to have any guilt for his lie the first time. I suspect you have an acid stomach because you recognize that by not saying anything the second time around, you became a liar too. How do I know? Been there, done that, have the t-shirt. After two years of therapy, my therapist helped me to see why I went along with my Ex's lies, and eventually I gained the courage to finally start telling the truth. About half the people in our life (both men and women) believed me, didn't blame me and were happy to see me file for divorce.The other half? They believed him. It's going to go that way anyway when you settle - you divide up your friends just like your 401ks, furniture, cars, etc. It just feels extra crappy and humiliating because I'm sure your husband like most pathological liars, is charming and well liked. You are going to be OK because 1) you have empathy and a conscious and 2) you thought enough of yourself to go get therapy.
#24
With a few exceptions (my family and my best friends), most people think I am gay. I'm actually asexual, but because asexuality isn't as well-understood like being gay or bi are, I usually default to telling strangers/acquaintances that I am queer. Most of the time this works fine--because nearly everyone will understand that this means I'm not straight, and most don't want to discuss it further. (I also happen to live in an area where it's a coin-toss as to whether someone you're talking to is an ally or a bigot).
But some people *do* want to discuss it further, and these people will without fail follow this statement with, "Oh, you're a *lesbian????* There's this girl I know that's looking for a girlfriend I should introduce you two!" At that point, it's game over. They get extremely confused if I try to tell them I'm not *gay*.
"But you're not straight?"
*No, I don't like men.*
"So you must like girls."
*No, I don't like them either.*
"But you said you were gay!"
*No, I said I was queer. I'm asexual, I don't like men or women.*
"Oh you're just in the closet, it's okay!!"
I eventually just gave up. I say I'm queer, and if people interpret it as me being gay I don't correct them. I just make vague comments about already having a partner and never speak of it in front of them. My parents think it's hilarious.
Marcellus II 2 years ago
Say you're strictly necrophiliac and the conversion therapy hasn't worked yet? That should shut them all up, religious or 'ally'.
tHeBoRdEsTpAnDa 2 years ago
Side note: the A in lgbtqia+ DOES NOT STAND FOR ALLY
Load More Replies... Lord Mysticlaw 2 years ago
Omg I feel this. Where I live a lot of people are very "conservative" or just old fashioned. Gay or lesbian is something most people can deal with, anything more complicated is just beyond them. I'm asexual and aromantic but I don't tell anyone that, I just say I'm not interested in dating.
Maltaros 2 years ago
For some reason I read that as "asexual and AROMATIC". I wondered what smelling good had to do with anything.
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Kitty 🥀 2 years ago
I feel like it’s easiest to just say I’m straight, although honestly no one’s ever asked me aloud what my sexuality is before. I guess most people assume hetero unless they think you give off vibes? I have dated men and developed crushes on men, so “I’m straight but don’t want a relationship “ is easier in the South. No one down here knows what hetero-asexual is.
weatherwitch 1 year ago
I'm bewildered 🤷🏻♀️ I'm Asexual and it's under the Queer umbrella. Just explain it to people. So many people know something about it now but when I was young, it wasn't known. I had four Decades of feeling that I was broken. I was 46 when I discovered I wasn't broken I was just Asexual. 47 when I realised I was Aromantic. 48 I realised I was Non Binary. Decades of broken distress and torment because I did not know. We have to educate others. Currently we're one in a hundred. I think the true figure is higher but if we don't help educate them then we can't help others escape.
#25
It was an unspoken lie. My dad was visiting me (I live on the lower level of my parent's house lol) and one of my bullet vibrators was just... *there on my couch*. I saw it while talking to him and double taked, unsure if he saw it. I guessed from a slight shift in energy that he did, but it was lipstick shaped, so I started spontaneously packing up my items for a trip I actually had to pack for, throwing the vibrator in my makeup case and mentioning that I left my makeup everywhere. I don't think he believed me for a moment. But I hope he appreciated my half asked attempt to bring him peace of mind.
#26
In school i accidentally left a notebook in a class. It was a new notebook and during that class I’d only written one page… a rather embarrassing page. Well i realized later I’d forgotten it and someone was going to find it and open it to see whose it was and be met with no name, just a page of writing so bizarre that they’re surely going to want to find who wrote it. So i started faking an entire new notebook of notes and assignments using a whole made up handwriting style. Eventually the principle called me into her office and asked me if that notebook was mine. I told her it was not and that doesnt look like my writing and i showed her my other notebook for comparison.
HelluvaHedgehogAlien 2 years ago
Hey! I have found my ambition to pledge forever loyalty to this person here
#27
I once sprayed the whole 3 acre yard, house, garage, porch, etc... down with a hose on a july afternoon so my dad would think it rained and i wouldnt get in trouble for not mowing the lawn.
Monday 2 years ago
Maybe the duty would fall to another sibling? Like on Wednesdays it's OPs turn but if it rains his sister has to do it on Thursday?
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Debby Keir 2 years ago
Bet it took just as much time and energy (let alone wasted water) as just mowing it....
#28
When I was a dumb teenager, I wouldn’t take my full dose of antibiotics when I would get a UTI (which I would get often at the time). So now there are two very common antibiotics that won’t work for me. I’ve tried explaining to doctors so many times, but they always insist it will be fine, the infection doesn’t go away, and I have to go back in. Another copay and another round of antibiotics to pay for. So now I’m allergic.
Marek Čtrnáct 2 years ago
She took too small a dose so she didn't kill ALL the bacteria. But she did kill some of them, and the survivors were stronger against that particular medicine. Eventually she got them trained to be resistant.
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Rachel Ainsworth 2 years ago
If you're getting UTIs all the time there is some other problem causing them that needs to be fixed. The doctor did the wrong thing by giving repeated perscriptions for antibiotics.
MichelleDonut 2 years ago
I *hope* she means that now she simply lies and tells the doctors she is allergic to those particular drugs so they won't prescribe them to her.
Load More Replies... Becky Samuel 2 years ago
The newest scientific studies debunk the myth of taking the full course of antibiotics. For *most* illnesses it is absolutely fine to stop taking the antibiotics when you feel better, and it actually reduces the chances of bacterial resistance, reduces recovery time of the microbiome, and produces better outcomes. Obviously, this advice does not follow for serious or life-threatening conditions (don't stop your treatments for tuberculosis or hepatitis people).
#29
I had a chance to meet my favorite band at the time (white chapel), but had to work, so I called and said I got into a car crash 2 cities over (the city where the band was). My boss said to send him a pic of the car before I could come back to work. So me and a friend went and crashed it into a derelict telephone pole at about 20 mph after jumping a ditch. It was an old Honda prelude and it just f*****g crumpled. Sent a pic to my boss and he said "are you okay that looks horrible!". The engine wasn't damaged and it still ran fine. Met the band, and drove the car to work the next day. My boss told me to go home and recover. He paid me for both days and I played call of duty mw2 (the original) all day.
#30
I didn't want to eat chili, so my first response was "I am cutting back on my meat intake. Went vegan for 2 years.
Kat Min 2 years ago
Can be a cultural thing. in some culture you have to decline to not look like a greedy bastard and the other party has to ask up to three times. (I wish someone had told me that before I looked like a greedy bastard in Poland)
Load More Replies... Carlos 2 years ago (edited)
I see a lot of these lies leading to becoming vegan for an extended period of time in this thread. Is going vegan really that easy ? I've always thought it noble, but never thought I could actually do it
Stannous Flouride 2 years ago
It depends on how strictly vegan you choose to be. Some absolutists don't think that _anything_ that is produced by animals is acceptable and that takes a LOT of attention and work to be followed (animal byproducts are in an amazing number of things you'd never expect them to be- like plywood). Beyond that there are, like in everything else, multiple layers of adherence. I'm vegetarian because of the environmental costs of agribusiness and over-fishing so I don't buy meat or fish. But if someone cooks me a meal or I'm given something at the food bank that has meat in it, I'll eat it.
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Adam L 2 years ago
I have the reverse issue, my parents used to make chili (we are not Latino or Hispanic in our ancestry) but would add too much vegetables to it, including celery. But, then again, they would add celery to a lot of foods for some reason that only worked in their heads. I don't hate celery, it just does not need to be in a lot of things, that's why I make my own tuna or chicken salad sandwiches lol
Genericist 2 years ago
My old workplace used to do this with the meals to make them go further. Lasagne with celery is just wrong on so many levels...
Load More Replies... #31
I called out of work with the excuse that my truck had died when I was on my way to work. My manager at the time said he would give me a paid day off if I brought him a receipt for the tow truck the next day. I said ok, hung up the phone and began to panic because my truck was sitting at home in perfect working order. I went to office max, bought a pack of those contractor work order pads along with some receipt paper. Went home and researched average tow rates, if it’s taxed, etc. Forged a tow truck work order, went online and found some fake receipt website where you just fill in the info and it makes a receipt you can print, printed a fake receipt with a made up to company’s name, and my friends name and phone number on it. Made sure the time on the receipt matched up with when I called out, made the handwriting look almost illegible on the work order, and gave my friend a heads up that someone from my employer might be calling him to verify the tow, just incase. Took the customer copy of the fake tow work order, stapled the receipt to the top right corner of the paper, and folder it up to look as legitimate as humanly possible. Took a different car to work the next morning to make it seem more legitimate. Set it on my managers desk the next morning, and mentioned that I left the tow receipt on his desk when I saw him. Never heard anything about it and received the paid day off. Ended up selling the truck shortly after and mentioned that I had “sold that piece of s**t” to my manager to cover my tracks even more.
The Goo King 2 years ago
I suspect all this took nearly as much time and effort as just going to work...
1 2 years ago
I once called in to work and told the boss my car wouldn't start (it was fine, I just didn't feel like going in). He CAME AND PICKED ME UP and that night drove me back home.
LH25 2 years ago
Funny! Not quite the same, as I wasn't lying, but growing up we lived on the top of a hill, and at times we'd have snow when the bottom of the hill didn't. And being a hill, it was kinda hard to get up and down when there was snow. I was about 17, and working fast food. I called in and said I couldn't come in. My boss said he'd come get me, I was fine with that. About an hour later he called and said he couldn't make it up the hill and to enjoy a day off.
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#32
Not me, but my sister. Two particular accounts come to mind:
* In 2008, my sister and her then-husband announced they were pregnant. We were happy for her, but as the months went along, things stopped adding up. She was gaining weight, but there was literally no baby bump of any kind. To be fair, she was and still is a bigger woman, so we gave her the benefit of the doubt. Then, she'd say she had an ultrasound or some other pregnancy-based appointment. Thing is, whenever I or anyone else would ask to see the ultrasound pictures, she always had some sort of excuse. Either, "the doctors wouldn't let me have them," "I spilled water on them and have to get new copies," etc. Around the time she *should* have delivered the baby, there was still no baby bump of any kind. Long story short, she eventually admitted she and her husband made up the entire pregnancy and she wasn't pregnant. She was in a bad place mentally and faked the pregnancy for sympathy, attention, etc. It was at that moment that I stopped believing anything she said unless there was some sort of verifiable proof, which leads me to...
* 2009, when she again began gaining weight. This time around, she even began to develop a baby bump. However, she and her husband swore there was no pregnancy. Despite the growing bump, there were no check-ups, ultrasounds or anything of the nature scheduled. So imagine my surprise when in March, I get a phone call from my dad saying she had given birth to a son. I was flabbergasted because once more she lied through her teeth for nine months but this time around it was a total 180 in nature. Unfortunately, her son was born with autism and to this day, I sometimes wonder if this is because she didn't go to any sort of OBGYN check-ins. On the other hand, I feel she did take every precaution this time around and was just given a bad hand. To add insult to injury, she actually appeared on an episode of TLC's *I Didn't Know I was Pregnant.* When she told me the producers accepted her story, she asked if I'd be willing to be on camera for interview soundbites. I flat-out refused and told her to not involve me in any of it, because I am fairly certain she indeed knew she was pregnant.
It goes without saying that my sister and I no longer have the best of relationships.
Lia 2 years ago
But they do help make sure that a baby is being taken care properly in the womb. Some conditions are able to change in a household, and help the baby.
Load More Replies... Jj321 2 years ago
As a mother of two autistic children, this is pretty offensive. First, I did everything as I should. 2nd, I have no issue with having autistic children and wasn't "given a bad hand." Autism is often genetic.
Monday 2 years ago
And even in cases where a genetic link can't be found, no amount of prenatal care is going to prevent it. You're either wired for it from conception or you're not. Your kiddos are lucky to have you as a mom.
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Carlos 2 years ago
If my sister/brother/loved one had said to me that they were in such a bad place mentally that they felt the need to lie about being pregnant for attention, I would be concerned for them not upset. Now if they had a whole baby shower, gotten gifts and all of that it would be a little different.
Maltaros 2 years ago
I wonder if they were actually pregnant the first time and lost it. Afterwards they had a hard time handling it and kept it up until they couldn't. Perhaps they couldn't really deal with the actual loss so when they got pregnant again they kept it quiet and tried to ignore it for fear of the same thing happening.
Stephanie Barr 2 years ago
Autism is not a judgement, either. Autistic children are wonderful.
Heather Talma 2 years ago
Ex-f*cking-scuse me, what do you mean "unfortunately"? And how would having medical appointments have changed anything?
#33
Well, there was this one time I pretended not to know what a potato was (as a joke), and my partner’s parents thought I was serious. So I made the poor decision to commit to the lie, which enraged them and resulted in a huge fight and I am now so committed the only way out for me is if they actually believe I don’t know what a potato is.
Lia 2 years ago
...could anyone fill me in on what a potato is? I don't understand the post...? /j
Monday 2 years ago
I think it's some kind of rock judging by the picture...but don't quote me on that /j
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Marcellus II 2 years ago
This very same story was in a much longer version here at least once before (describing the dinner party where it became untenable).
Mario Strada 2 years ago
But surely after one is shown to you, you are no longer ignorant of potatoes. (I never thought I'd write this sentence)
#34
F**k, I had to be in 6th grade when one of my teachers threatened to call home. I didn’t want to get in trouble and in like a sarcastic way I said I don’t have a home. I was actually in my dads custody and didn’t really talk much to my mom so I was just trying to stop them from calling my dad. My teacher actually took that serious and I had to talk to my school counselor trying to convince him I was homeless and my parents abandoned me. It only took a couple of calls to call out my b******t but I guess I took it pretty far. Went on like 2-3 days
#35
I was seeing a guy that my friends didn’t want me to be seeing. I went to his house and parked in his driveway but when we took his car to go get dinner he backed right into my car and smashed the headlight and left a nice dent. My friend who didn’t want me to see this guy works on cars so I gathered up all the broken bits of my headlight, towed my car to my work, scattered the broken bits to recreate the illusion that someone had backed into my car at work. I then called my friend and he came with his tow truck and got my car. To this day he has no idea what really happened to my car.
ILoveMySon 2 years ago
Although, usually when my friends didn't like the person I was dating, they were right.
#36
To f**k with one of my friends I decided it pretend I got married to 2 women while on my trip to Vegas. To further this story I had a photo from a photo op they had infront of one of the casinos and whenever he was over I started wearing one of the rings I made in jewelry class. He would occasionally ask how they are doing and I would bs some story about saving up so they could move up here. The best part is that another friend of mine that we hung out with frequently was also in on it. After about 3 months we broke the news to him that I was just f*****g with him the whole time and he took it well.
#37
For context, I am Hispanic. My dad has brown skin and is often told that he looks Filipino About 4-5 years ago, I was quite unpopular and wanted to talk to a group of girls that I fancied. All of the girls are Filipino and bonded over their shared nationality/heritage. Dont ask me why or how, but I ended up convincing them that I'm half-Filipino, this ended up having them bring me into their circle and introduce me to their families as their half-Filipino bisexual (not really) token boy. This lie ended up spreading from one girl's family to another and I eventually had 3-4 families believing that I'm half-Filipino. This was going well and I eventually started to go to birthday parties and events of theirs, they'd ask me if I spoke Tagalog and in order to keep up the lie, I hired a language tutor to teach me basic Tagalog so I could appeal to their parents. This lie went on for 4 years until a picnic that consisted of all of the families and me, they invited my parents but I didn't want to have them accidentally reveal that I'm not Filipino at all so I told the girls that my parents were busy and went alone. One of the moms eventually saw my dad for the first time and since it was from far away without any conversation, they became fully convinced that I'm half-Filipino. At the picnic, they mentioned my dad and began asking me about my family and where in the Phillipines they're located. I had to make up some lies on the fly, including that since my dad had to move away when he was young, that he didnt speak any Tagalog. Looking back, this was probably the cringiest thing I've done and I felt so bad about lying to their faces. I came home after the picnic feeling extremely guilty and decided to reveal it to one of the girls who I had become close friends with. She didnt think of it as a big deal and thanked me for telling her. I eventually got around to telling the others and even though their reactions weren't as bad as I thought they'd be, I havent been invited to any events so I guess I got what I deserved
#38
I'm not fond of my surname, for a bunch of reasons, and on my teenage years people started knowing me by my nickname. At some point, they started to think it was my surname and I adopted it. It's how I identify myself when I meet people and try to use my real one only on necesity.
Lots of people in fact only knows me as that since my first name is pretty common and it's easier to remember me like that. For years and years my closest group of friends though it to be true (Untill one day I left my backpack with them and they searched for identification, the bastards). Still, they forget sometimes and they have to do the work to ask common friends until someone remembers.
Now at 29 I always introduce myself like that, and I've gone long ways to make people think it's true. I've lost the trust of people because they found it's not true.
It's not really important, and I don't really care that much, but I will f*****g die before admitting to anybody my real surname.
Carrie de Luka 2 years ago
Why not legally change it? I can't speak for all countries but in some it's not that difficult.
Heffalump 2 years ago (edited)
My thought exactly. And even if you don't, you just tell people that 'I don't like my birth name so this is what I go by.'
Load More Replies... Carlos 2 years ago
Now I'm just dying to know what the surname is. How bad could it be ?.. anyways here are the top 10 worse last names according to google. Bieber, Hitler, Hooker, Brown, Zdzinski, Seaman, Przbyszewski, Baker, Bonner, and my personal favorite... Crapper.
Bunny 2 years ago
Same! Has to be Hitler right? Or maybe Stalin... I have a friend whose surname is Stankowicz.
Load More Replies... Michael Largey 2 years ago
Change your last name to "Rumpelstiltskin". Hardly anyone will ever guess that. (And if someone claims they would, they're telling you some kind of fairy story.)
#39
When I was in high school as an utterly awkward idiot with hardly any friends, I pretended I was chatting up random celebrities and friends on my lil' flip phone just to make myself seem cool because everyone had a smartphone and I didn't...and also because I didn't have many friends. Spoiler: it didn't work. Next to my "being a cat" phase in middle school, it takes the top spot for "Most Cringey Phases and Moments". Luckily I stopped doing it in senior year when I got an actual smartphone.
Saxophone 2 years ago
I pretended to be a wolf in elementary school. Yeah I don't know why I just was cringe
Load More Replies... Lord Mysticlaw 2 years ago
Omg I remember I pretended to have a long distance boyfriend and I'd pretend to talk to him on my cellphone... loudly, so thay everyone else could hear. I want to die of embarrassment when I think of that. I was such n cringey teenager.
#40
I offered to keep a Friend's Dog because he had no time to play or walk it. the dog stayed with me at my parents house for 1 week, turns out i'm not much of a dog person. I did not have the guts to tell him I did not want the dog. I felt really bad. So I told him I was moving out of my parents house to a new city and no dogs are allowed where I live so he took him back.
a few weeks pass by and he asks me why I havent moved yet. I told him my job start date keeps getting changed. I started applying for jobs in a different city, eventually got an interview and started my Career in I.T in a large metropolitan city.
I still haven't told him why I gave the dog back.
The shoebill 2 years ago
In my religion they are ritually impure so I can’t really keep them + they are kind of annoying from where I come from please don’t take it to seriously and downvote I’m just voicing my opinion.
Load More Replies... #41
When I was 16 my parents went to work in a state prison. I was living with my grandmother and determined not to go live with them so I decided to run off and get married. Not knowing we needed a license we couldn’t get married so we just told everyone we were. I never planned to stay married but didn’t know how to get out of it. After about 6 years we filed for “divorce”. After a while I quit telling people I was ever married to him but never told anyone that knew that we were never married in the first place. It has now been 60 years and I don’t think I ever told anyone. My parents and anyone I was keeping it from are long since dead.
Michael Largey 2 years ago
I'm reading the first two sentences over and over to somehow convince myself that he didn't marry his grandmother. It's not working too well.
LoneTomato 2 years ago
I didn't know you could get married at 16 without parental permission.... although maybe it depends on the state or laws have since changed.
Clown fish 2 years ago
Or they could live in England and have gone to Scotland to get married
Load More Replies... #42
When I was a child my dad would force me to lie to my mother against my wishes. I would go to many lengths to cover up lies and to keep a straight face. My mom found out the truth because I screamed it in my sleep though.
Spocks's Mom 2 years ago
This could be horrible and abusive depending on the lie. I mean asking someone to lie for you is bad enough, but if it's covering up a dark secret...
#43
I'm huge into quizzes, trivia, that kind of thing, and there's a group that I'm part of that does regular meets and quizzes together. They're almost like family by this point, and we know a lot about each others lives. Upon joining the group I was a bit insecure about my educational situation, and told them that I had a masters degree. As you can imagine, intellect is highly revered in this group, and I just wanted to fit in. I didn't think i'd ever be questioned on this, but it's getting to the point now where the lie is becoming more of a burden than anything. I've been looking for a job recently, and there's a person on my team who's been trying to help me out by sending me job vacancies that she think would suit me. Of course, I'm under qualified for all of them as I don't have the masters degree I claimed to have. I want to tell her the truth but I'm seriously scared about her reaction, and concerned her reaction might be violent on some people. I'm getting some help soon from a man I found on craigslist, he's coming to my apartment soon to discuss my issue and I'm really hoping to resolve this peacefully.
Phobrek 2 years ago
Last paragraph is the kind a person writes just before disappearing off the face of the earth...
Tenacious Squirrel 2 years ago
I’m concerned that this person is concerned that someone will be violent.
Ariel Andersen 2 years ago
This is the first episode of the Nathan Fielder show The Rehearsal.
#44
I still use "I'm a student" as an excuse or to get benefits. Obviously doesn't work on official things but I can get half priced concert tickets, software, discount meals. I often say "would you like to see my ID" and do the motion of trying to show it, just to be nice. I sweet talk people with compliments to make them put down their guard and not make them suspicious. I've joined workshops only for students that would have otherwise cost me money or not been allowed to attend.
Tenacious Squirrel 2 years ago
The author says it “obviously doesn’t work on official things” but then goes on to say they can get half priced concert tickets, software, meals, workshops. How are these not official things? Here you need student ID to claim any student discount. They don’t just waive it if you motion to show the ID… and then don’t show it. I can’t make any sense of what this person means!
Spocks's Mom 2 years ago
I was wondering this too. My thought went to "official" to mean government events or school events. That's honestly all I could think of.
Load More Replies... Huddo's sister 2 years ago
I used that to get out of being asked to donate to charities, as it seemed to be the only thing the people on the street would accept and I'm not good at getting out of those sort of situations otherwise.
#45
Out of humor, I told two close friends I and SO was busy every tuesday so we could not meet at tuesdays. When they asked why i told them we had linedance-practice (the real reason was SO was busy with another hobby), and they bought it. Two years down the line, they still think we go to linedance-lessons. I sit at home bored to death every tuesday and I have been bored every tuesday for two years. The weirdest is linedance is not even a thing in our country, nobody dances linedance here.
#46
I once told my deceased fiancé's parents I bought a house in the Hamptons. Solarium, horses, everything.
#47
My parents are those stereotypical hard to please people. I told them my interest in animating, and now they're hounding me to do better. I've been downloading the old scenes from songs of war (high quality Minecraft series), in their original .blend file form, deleting the composition, and rendering it out as a viewport render. I show them the scene in blender, pretending I've made it myself, then show the "final product"... Been learning animation on my own, parents are off my back.. f**k them.
What do you think ?
Tenacious Squirrel 2 years ago
I couldn’t face school and pretended to be unwell with stomach ache. I was being badly bullied but didn’t feel I could tell anyone. Anyway my mum ended up taking me to the doctors because I had “stomach ache” all the time. They referred me to a specialist and we spent so much wasted time having it investigated. Probably the saddest thing about this, looking back now, is that my mum found me crying many times so eventually I told her I was being bullied. She just shook her head and told me not to be silly, walked off and that was it. And that’s how I learnt to definitely *never* tell my parents anything.
OmBoyGanesh 2 years ago (edited)
I went to undergrad school at a university in Southern California. The stipend that was supposed to cover entertainment, shopping & eating out wasn’t enough for my tastes at the time, so I decided to find a part time job. Something that my family was opposed to, because they wanted me to focus on school. I fell into a high-end, gay escort “ring” (that was eventually busted & somewhat notorious), but ended up going out on my own. I had a college friend who did it with me. We’d often get taken to high-end places, nice trips, Hollywood events & even some awards and industry shows. I wasn’t ashamed about the work & it often didn’t involve secs. Still, I didn’t want my family to know nor did I want to explain it to friends. The cover story was that this friend’s (the “business” partner) aunt lived alone in LA (true) & had MS. We were her help, often heading out at a moments notice & over weekends/vacations. He told his people that I had the aunt. This cover story worked all 4+ years.
Tamra 2 years ago
Except when I ask if these jeans make my a*s look fat. Then lie to me. Lie, lie, lie.
Load More Replies...
Kate Jones 2 years ago
When I started online in the 90s one of the things you were told was to never share your private info with anyone and if anyone asks, you're married. It was for safety reasons. In 2001 a show called Alias with Jennifer Garner came out about a woman who was spy. One of her aliases was Kate Jones which is how I got this user name. I've had is for 22 years. I ended up meeting friends online, not thinking it would be anything, but they ended up being really great friends. For literally over 10 years they thought my name was Kate Jones and that I was married because that was my story and at that point it had been so long I just didn't know how to tell them without it being super weird. I'm not sure why I didn't just tell them the truth, but they just liked my story and I felt weird. I'd lied about it so long that at that point it I truly felt like I was a pos. We eventually fell out of touch but I still feel so horrible about it.
Yoga Kitty 2 years ago
Honest question: Why are so many people lying about weird and unimportant stuff? Being on the spectrum, I tend to tell the truth more often (or more bluntly) than acceptable; I have a very hard time understanding this concept of making things up for fun, to get an advantage or to fool somebody. I am absolute shįt at telling lies! I can understand if you lie in order not to be punished/hurt/harmed in any way, yes, yes of course - but inventing a whole different heritage? In order to weasle my way into a group of people, knowing full well that they bond over their Filipino heritage that I do not share? Even learning the language, and then wondering why people no longer like me after coming clean? Sorry - stories like that fly right over my head...
Kraneia The Dancing Dryad 2 years ago
Some of these are quite elaborate. My mom was sick a lot so I didn't want to bother her with having to sign off on schoolwork that I messed up on. So I made a homemade "autograph book" and had her sign it. I cut the signature out and glued it to the paper to be signed. It was not very convincing but no one ever mentioned it, so I guess teach didn't look too closely at it.
Carole G. 2 years ago
Sis, on her third divorce but when she married #3 she didn't disclose on the marriage license that she had been married & divorced to husband #2. So in retrospect she's not really legally married to #3. #3 has no idea there was a #2, anyway I don't know if they really need to do the whole divorce thing, as I'm not sure they're even married! 🤣🤣🤣
Icecream Sarang 2 years ago
Everyone thinks my husband and I got married this past year. We actually married in 2018, three months into our relationship.
Alexandra Prytkova 2 years ago
OK, so in middle school we were given books to read at home and our parents had to sign a fn reading card with the amount of pages red per day. The first time it happened, I read the whole 60p book in one evening (the normal amount of pages I red per day at that time was above 200 - I was addicted to books). My mother signed the card, no problem. Then I came in for class and the teacher yelled at me for trying fraudulent behaviour. She thought I had signed off as my mother, so as not to read the book. I was so offended, I didn't argue. I just spent years signing for my parents several pages at a time, for it to appear that I read at a "normal" pace. Yes, I actually forged their signature to make my teachers believe I was a slow reader. For years.
Tenacious Squirrel 2 years ago
I couldn’t face school and pretended to be unwell with stomach ache. I was being badly bullied but didn’t feel I could tell anyone. Anyway my mum ended up taking me to the doctors because I had “stomach ache” all the time. They referred me to a specialist and we spent so much wasted time having it investigated. Probably the saddest thing about this, looking back now, is that my mum found me crying many times so eventually I told her I was being bullied. She just shook her head and told me not to be silly, walked off and that was it. And that’s how I learnt to definitely *never* tell my parents anything.
OmBoyGanesh 2 years ago (edited)
I went to undergrad school at a university in Southern California. The stipend that was supposed to cover entertainment, shopping & eating out wasn’t enough for my tastes at the time, so I decided to find a part time job. Something that my family was opposed to, because they wanted me to focus on school. I fell into a high-end, gay escort “ring” (that was eventually busted & somewhat notorious), but ended up going out on my own. I had a college friend who did it with me. We’d often get taken to high-end places, nice trips, Hollywood events & even some awards and industry shows. I wasn’t ashamed about the work & it often didn’t involve secs. Still, I didn’t want my family to know nor did I want to explain it to friends. The cover story was that this friend’s (the “business” partner) aunt lived alone in LA (true) & had MS. We were her help, often heading out at a moments notice & over weekends/vacations. He told his people that I had the aunt. This cover story worked all 4+ years.
Tamra 2 years ago
Except when I ask if these jeans make my a*s look fat. Then lie to me. Lie, lie, lie.
Load More Replies... Kate Jones 2 years ago
When I started online in the 90s one of the things you were told was to never share your private info with anyone and if anyone asks, you're married. It was for safety reasons. In 2001 a show called Alias with Jennifer Garner came out about a woman who was spy. One of her aliases was Kate Jones which is how I got this user name. I've had is for 22 years. I ended up meeting friends online, not thinking it would be anything, but they ended up being really great friends. For literally over 10 years they thought my name was Kate Jones and that I was married because that was my story and at that point it had been so long I just didn't know how to tell them without it being super weird. I'm not sure why I didn't just tell them the truth, but they just liked my story and I felt weird. I'd lied about it so long that at that point it I truly felt like I was a pos. We eventually fell out of touch but I still feel so horrible about it.
Yoga Kitty 2 years ago
Honest question: Why are so many people lying about weird and unimportant stuff? Being on the spectrum, I tend to tell the truth more often (or more bluntly) than acceptable; I have a very hard time understanding this concept of making things up for fun, to get an advantage or to fool somebody. I am absolute shįt at telling lies! I can understand if you lie in order not to be punished/hurt/harmed in any way, yes, yes of course - but inventing a whole different heritage? In order to weasle my way into a group of people, knowing full well that they bond over their Filipino heritage that I do not share? Even learning the language, and then wondering why people no longer like me after coming clean? Sorry - stories like that fly right over my head...
Kraneia The Dancing Dryad 2 years ago
Some of these are quite elaborate. My mom was sick a lot so I didn't want to bother her with having to sign off on schoolwork that I messed up on. So I made a homemade "autograph book" and had her sign it. I cut the signature out and glued it to the paper to be signed. It was not very convincing but no one ever mentioned it, so I guess teach didn't look too closely at it.
Carole G. 2 years ago
Sis, on her third divorce but when she married #3 she didn't disclose on the marriage license that she had been married & divorced to husband #2. So in retrospect she's not really legally married to #3. #3 has no idea there was a #2, anyway I don't know if they really need to do the whole divorce thing, as I'm not sure they're even married! 🤣🤣🤣
Icecream Sarang 2 years ago
Everyone thinks my husband and I got married this past year. We actually married in 2018, three months into our relationship.
Alexandra Prytkova 2 years ago
OK, so in middle school we were given books to read at home and our parents had to sign a fn reading card with the amount of pages red per day. The first time it happened, I read the whole 60p book in one evening (the normal amount of pages I red per day at that time was above 200 - I was addicted to books). My mother signed the card, no problem. Then I came in for class and the teacher yelled at me for trying fraudulent behaviour. She thought I had signed off as my mother, so as not to read the book. I was so offended, I didn't argue. I just spent years signing for my parents several pages at a time, for it to appear that I read at a "normal" pace. Yes, I actually forged their signature to make my teachers believe I was a slow reader. For years.
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